Madness Within
by Taurus Pixie
Summary: Years after Ladybug's death and Hawkmoth's reveal and arrest, Chat Noir is now an insane vigilante, feared by all of Paris. However, after saving Marinette one fateful night, he soon becomes dangerously obsessed with his old friend and classmate who strangely reminds him so much of his lady.
1. On The Prowl

**Hello everyone and welcome to my new story. This is an idea that has been bouncing around my head for a long time until I finally managed to settle down to plan it and write it. I hope that you guys enjoy it.**

 **Rated M for violence, graphic violence, infrequent strong language, darker themes, and themes of mental health and trauma. There will be detailed descriptions of anxiety, depression and PTSD, including descriptions of panic attacks, suicidal feelings and flashbacks. It is the aim of this fanfiction to portray trauma and mental health as accurately as possible, so if this may be triggering for you, I recommend you do not read.**

 **There is also the possibility of season two spoilers for those who are not caught up, particularly with the first half of season two.**

 **I do not own Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir. This is merely fanfiction written for fun.**

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 **~ Madness Within ~**

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 **Chapter 1: On The Prowl**

The moon hung full, high and bright in the dark night sky above the city of Paris. The air was completely still, and the night was eerily quiet. It was late, and no one was out and about. The citizens of Paris had long since known not to stay out past dark these days. For the past four years, night time had been _his_ time. If you went out at night, you were mad. Only criminals dared to risk it, taking advantage of the quiet streets and lack of witnesses to carry out their petty or serious crimes.

However, that was often their last mistake.

As previously stated, night time was _his_ time and if you were a criminal caught in the night, there was no help for you. The sight of green, glowing, cat-like eyes would be the last sight you would see before pain you could never possibly imagine gripped you. Tortured to the brink of insanity, played with like a ball of yarn before inevitably being dumped like a used old toy in front of the nearest police station. He would never kill you, and to be honest, that made it all the more scary. He would never grant such a mercy. Police had now long been used to finding mangled and broken bodies in front of their doors, barely able to make out past the blood covered and swollen features, the face of someone long wanted by police.

Chat Noir sat in his trade mark cat-like position on top of a chimney of a tall building. His glowing green eyes kept close watch over the city, his black leather ears twitching any time he heard even the slightest noise. This had become his routine every night. It wasn't like he had anything better to do. All day long, he lay in the now empty Agreste mansion, alone and feeling nothing. It felt like his whole body had become an empty and hollow shell, incapable of feeling anything. At least torturing criminals, especially the more serious ones, let him come close to feeling at least _something._ A small sense of justice, a small feeling of guilt and disgust towards himself, a small sense of pleasure. It was not enough though.

When you have lost everything, what was the point?

Squinting his eyes tightly shut, images of that fateful night once again began assaulting every inch of his mind, not granting mercy to any single cell of his being. He clutched his forehead with his leather gloved hand as the face of his father stared at him, deranged and lost to the realm of reality. The magic of Hawkmoth's transformation dropping as Chat clutched at the butterfly brooch and ripped it from his father's shirt, revealing the broken face of a defeated man. Screams of his mother's name echoed around his head, stabbing at the small remaining pieces of his shattered and blackened heart. The face of his beloved Ladybug as she…

NO!

Chat Noir groaned like a wounded animal, shaking slightly and nearly falling to the side. Any other time, he would welcome those beyond painful feelings and let them wash over him like a powerful tsunami and let them drown him. The current would capture him, dragging him away, and he would just let himself float along into the endless ocean of suffering that now consumed his life. The memories of… _her_ were the only times he could feel true emotion again instead of the endless apathy, the endless nothingness that now plagued him. And he welcomed the torment. After all, it was his fault that Ladybug, the love of his life, was…dead.

"CHAT NOIR!" A familiar voice called out to him in the still night air.

Snapping out of his painful flashbacks, Chat lazily turned around before plastering a wide grin on his face, his perfect white teeth sparkled in the moonlight. He let out one short, manic laugh as he stared at the familiar people spread out across the rooftops behind him. The three people who had been acting like a thorn in his side for the past four years. Yet, they still stupidly persevered. Chat Noir had to admit that he envied them. Envied their will power, their strength and their passion. All things that he used to possess when he had been proud and excited to be a superhero and defend Paris from akumas. But there were no more akumas. He was the enemy now. And _they_ were the heroes of Paris now. Not him.

"Well, hello foxy," Chat Noir teased, standing up while remaining slightly crouched like a predator waiting to pounce. "What do I owe the pleasure this fine evening?"

"Cut the act ally cat," Rena Rouge snapped, flute held tightly in her hand, "Now hand over your miraculous and we won't ever bother you again." She held out her hand, her hazel eyes narrowing.

Chat Noir pretended to think for a moment. "What a tempting offer. But I think I'm going to have to decline."

"Don't make us fight you Chat Noir!" Queen Bee threatened.

"What? Because you're scared you'll lose?" Chat teased. "Why don't you just buzz off and leave me in peace."

Carapace took a cautious step forward, the only person to show an element of concern towards Chat Noir all these years they had been fighting. "We're trying to help you Chat Noir," he pleaded, "we can get you the help you need." Carapace ignored Chat when he rolled his eyes at that remark. "Please…Ladybug wouldn't have wanted this."

Rena Rouge and Queen Bee instantly froze, followed by Carapace once he realised what he had just done.

The one rule they did follow in regard to Chat Noir and he had just broken it.

Master Fu had warned them about this from the very beginning and, for the most part, they never broke that one golden rule. But when they did, boy did they and the city pay for it.

Rena Rouge shot Carapace a glare, though she knew that her partner only meant well. After years and years, they were becoming increasingly desperate to capture Chat Noir and seize his miraculous just like Master Fu had implored them to do. He reminded them that Chat Noir was no bad guy, just a lost young boy without his Ladybug that had been sent over the edge. Rena Rouge and Queen Bee often found it hard to see things from that point of view though. All they saw was Chat Noir disrespecting Ladybug's memory by becoming some insane vigilante who did not truly care about justice. No one truly knew what happened that night in the battle against Hawkmoth. All that they knew was that Chat Noir came out a changed man with nothing left of Ladybug but a pool of blood and a single red ribbon from her hair.

Oh how Rena Rouge had mourned the death of her superhero idol. No body had ever been found, but after weeks and weeks of waiting and waiting, the citizens of Paris assumed the worst, and the fact that even Chat Noir agreed that Ladybug hadn't made it just cemented the theory even further. People searched for her body in the hopes of possibly finding her true identity and informing any possible family she may have had, but it was all in vein. In the end, the investigators concluded that her body simply must have been cremated in the fire during the battle, leaving nothing but traces of blood and a single red ribbon.

The city mourned for what felt like an eternity. Mayor Bourgeois declared three days of national mourning; shops and businesses closed out of respect. The whole city wore red and black, Ladybug's trademark colours, and a spectacular public funeral was held. That was when Rena Rouge had been chosen, followed by her two partners, in the possible hope of helping Chat Noir, of finding the ladybug miraculous. Alas, they still failed in those two missions. And they continued to fail this night.

Chat Noir remained perfectly still, his wide grin frozen unnaturally on his face. Meanwhile, the three new superheroes of Paris held their breath. The deep hole in Chat Noir's chest throbbed and pulsated at the mention of her name. A name that was too beautiful and too perfect to be mentioned through anyone's lips. They were undeserving of her mere mention.

"How dare you," Chat whispered, his smile morphing into a murderous glare and his whole form stiffened. "HOW DARE YOU EVEN MENTION HER NAME!" He cried out, looking and sounding more and more deranged. He reached behind him and grabbed his baton, extending it and holding it in front of him, ready for a fight.

"Look, Chat, just calm down," Carapace pleaded as gently as possible, despite his shaky voice.

"He's right though," Queen Bee sneered, flicking her blonde hair back, "we dare mention her name because you dare to disrespect her memory and everything she stood for. If she really meant something to you, you wouldn't be doing all of this right now."

Chat Noir wailed, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE MEANT TO ME!"

With that, he swung his baton and came charging towards them. He swung at Queen Bee, though she managed to jump out of the way just in time, much to Chat Noir's frustration. They really were starting to improve in their fighting and defensive skills. If Chat was still a superhero, he would have been proud and impressed.

But he wasn't a superhero anymore. He didn't know what he was.

Hissing menacingly, he swung at Carapace who he managed to land a painful blow on. Carapace grunted and fell back, nearly falling off the roof before managing to catch himself just in time. Rena Rouge charged at him, swinging her flute around which Chat Noir easily dodged. His vision was completely red in anger and all he could do was think about how amazing it would be to tear these rookies apart for daring to speak of _her._

Rena Rouge charged at him again and Chat further extended his baton, slamming it into Rena Rouge's face. He smiled wickedly when he heard the satisfying crunch and snap of her nose breaking under the force of his baton.

Rena Rouge let out a pained shriek, stumbling backwards and gripping her nose in her hand. The unmistakable sight of blood began to drip and seep out between her fingers, and her team members gasped before running towards her. Chat sighed, now feeling bored of fighting them, his anger having been replaced by a crippling misery that hung over him like a dark, violent storm cloud.

Using the concern for Rena Rouge as a distraction, Chat quickly ran away over the roof tops before ducking behind another chimney. He let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding when he realised that he hadn't been followed. He'd successfully lost them. For how long, he didn't know. He could tell from their brief fight tonight that they were improving. Despite it being three against one, Chat Noir had always been able to easily take them on with vast amounts of experience on his side. He wasn't sure how much longer that would be the case though.

One day, they would likely get his miraculous, and his true identity would be exposed. Then he would likely be carted off by men in white coats just like his father before him. Maybe this was some sort of cruel family curse. To lose their soulmates and go completely crazy. Like his father, Chat had considered using the cat and ladybug miraculous and wish for his Ladybug back. The only problem was, her miraculous was missing. He wondered if that had also been destroyed in the fire. He had asked Plagg, however the only response he received was a grumpy, angry silence, which was typical of Plagg these days.

Chat Noir stared down at his ring that displayed a glowing green paw print. Half of the key that could possibly lead to him bringing his lady back. Slowly lowering his hand, tears began dripping down his cheeks as he pulled out a small object that he kept tucked safely in one of his pockets. Chat Noir gently cradled the small red ribbon in his hands as if it was the most precious item in the world. This was all that was left of her. The only physical trace that proved she ever existed. His chest contracted painfully at the familiar dark blood stains that still remained on parts of the ribbon, staining it a darker shade of reddish-brown. He couldn't bring himself to wash it though.

Bringing the ribbon up to his nose, Chat Noir gently sniffed it, savouring the small trace of her scent that still lingered even after all these years. It was sweet, like vanilla and strawberry with the faint hint of freshly baked bread.

The scent brought a very tiny, reminiscing smile on Chat Noir's face. Oh how he longed to wrap his arms around his lady and breath in that intoxicating scent once again. He missed everything about her: her warm, gentle and friendly voice; her determination; her stubbornness; her passion; the playfully annoyed look she would get on her face every time he would make a pun.

But now…she was gone.

And it was all his fault.

With that thought, Chat Noir collapsed onto his knees as he held back the sobs that were trying to claw their way out of his chest. He pressed the red ribbon to his face as if he was burying his face into his lady's hair. The scent washed over him, however, instead of helping him float to safety, it only held him under the water, as deep and dark as an endless abyss. The guilt of everything that happened tied itself onto his foot and dragged him down into the deep dark depths. His lungs burned and cried out for oxygen. His brain replayed that day where everything had gone wrong and he had lost the love of his life.

The sound of footsteps in the distance dragged Chat Noir out of the deep water. He gasped for air and his eyes snapped open as his ears began twitching at the sound. The footsteps were small and light, obviously from someone petite. A woman perhaps?

Chat listened harder. This person was powerwalking and didn't seem to be making any effort at sneaking around. Chat smiled sadistically as he carefully tucked the precious red ribbon back into his pocket before standing back up. This person was going to regret being out and about at this time. Only criminals and himself walked around in the dead of night, and he couldn't wait to leave his little present outside the nearest police station.

Chat Noir hopped from one roof to another, using his sensitive hearing the cat miraculous granted him to find the source of the footsteps. Chat Noir finally found the street to see a small form walking down the street, purse clutched in their right hand, the black hood of their coat covering their face.

That's when Chat heard it. The sound of a second pair of footsteps.

Turning his head, Chat could see a much larger form making their way down the street wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. It looked like a very burley man, and he had his hands in his pocket with his eyes firmly glued to the back of the woman he was following. It was clear who the most dangerous criminal was here. That's when Chat watched as the man picked up his pace, and then his green eyes widened in shock as the woman twisted around as if to confront him. This girl was either immensely brave or immensely stupid. The man just laughed at her confident stance.

"Don't try and be brave now," the man mocked before sinisterly adding, "I like it when they scream."

He yanked his hands out of his pockets, pulling a very sharp looking knife out with them.

The girl gasped and took a small step back, holding her hands up, ready to defend herself.

Chat had seen enough. Feeling a growl rumbling deep within his chest, he jumped down from his hiding spot, landing between the ever-decreasing space between the man and the girl he was after. Both of them gasped at the sight of Chat Noir landing before them and the criminal scum stumbled back slightly, eyes wide as he began to sweat with fear. This made Chat Noir smirk.

"C-Chat Noir." The man stuttered, clutching the knife even tighter and pointing it at Chat Noir.

This just made Chat's smirk widened even more. "The very same."

"L-look, I don't want no trouble, I didn't mean any harm."

"Suuuurrrreee you didn't," Chat purred before he straightened his posture, pretending to relax. "In fact, maybe we should even share her. Take it in turns until she's begging for death. I'm bored, and I sure could use some fun."

The man's eyes widened. "R-really?"

Chat frowned. "No, you sick bastard. Though I wasn't lying when I said I needed some fun." He crouched down and smirked again, digging his claws into the concrete beneath him, the sharp scratching sounds of this action echoing down the street and into the night. This made the man visibly gulp and Chat Noir laughed.

"I'll tell you what," Chat chuckled, "seen as I'm in such a generous mood, I'll give you a head start. I'm gonna count to three."

The man didn't move, instead he glared at Chat Noir with a new-found, foolish sense of confidence, and pointed the knife at Chat again. Chat remained unphased, merely smiling as he began to playfully count.

"One…"

The man still didn't move.

"I'd start running if I were you. Two…"

Still no sign of the man attempting to make a run for it.

Chat Noir rolled his eyes before shrugging. "Suit yourself. Three."

With that, Chat Noir leapt forward, letting out an animalistic growl. The man shrieked in fear, his bravery from earlier instantly disappearing. He rose the knife and attempted to stab Chat Noir in the chest which he easily avoided. The man then began waving the knife erratically as Chat attempted to grab hold of him.

 _Slash._

Chat's eyes widened as he felt a stinging sensation across his cheek followed by something warm oozing down his face. He reached up and gently brushed his fingers over his cheek, ignoring the pain it caused, before he removed his fingers and looked down at them. His blood trickled through his fingers, and he heard the girl, who was still foolishly standing around, let out a gasp.

Chat frowned.

Big mistake.

"I was thinking of going easy on you, yet you continue to insult my generosity." Chat's voice became a menacing growl. His dark slit pupils expanded as he glared murderously at the pathetic excuse of a man in front of him. Finally, the man's common sense appeared to kick in, and he began screaming and running for his life. The look on Chat's face was unmistakable. The man clearly saw no use in denying it nor fighting back any longer when it was obvious he would lose.

Chat laughed manically. "Oh, so _now_ you decide to run!" He took off after him. "Come here little mouse." He sang as the man continued to run down the street and scream. Chat easily caught up, moving down to run on all fours before bending his knees to powerfully leap towards the screaming criminal. As much as Chat was enjoying hearing those terror-stricken screams, he knew he needed to put a stop to them. With Rena Rouge and her gang prowling around the city, they were sure to hear and easily find him and stop him from having his fun. He'd had enough of being pestered by those rookies for one night.

Crashing into the man's body, he grabbed hold of the man's wrist before knocking the knife out of his hand, sending it flying through the air to the other side of the street. It landed on the ground with a clatter and Chat smirked down at the man he now had pinned beneath him. He dug his claws into the man's wrist and he screamed in pain as Chat began to draw blood. The man attempted to reach up and punch Chat Noir in the face with his other hand, but Chat's reflexes were too fast. He grabbed the hand that had tried to punch him and easily overpowered him. With both hands pinned easily by only one of Chat's hands, he used his now free hand to return the favour, punching the man across the face, hard.

"This is for my face!" Chat hissed, slowly digging one of his claws deep into the skin of the man's cheek before dragging it along, making an identical cut in his face that he had given Chat.

The man screamed in pain, and all the while, Chat maintained a sadistic grin on his face, enjoying the way the man's face contorted in pure fear and intense pain.

However, his fun was interrupted by the sound of light footsteps running towards them. That stupid girl just did not seem to have any sense of fear and danger.

Once Chat had extracted his claw from the deep gash now on the man's cheek, he punched him again, causing blood to drip out of his mouth and nose as his eyes began to flutter closed.

"Don't you dare pass out on me!" Chat growled. "The fun has only just begun!"

The running footsteps grew closer and Chat's frowned. "Honestly, I don't blame you for wanting to sadistically watch your would-be attacker have the tables turned on him," Chat spoke to the girl, though he didn't turn around to face her, "but I'm not lying when I say this isn't going to be pretty, even for someone as clearly mad as you."

Chat punched him violently again, smiling at the sound of the scum's jaw bone cracking. He was about to raise his hand to strike him again when two small, warm hands wrapped around his wrist and held him back.

"Stop it!" A high-pitched voice ordered.

Chat froze. That voice…it sounded just like…like _hers…_

But it couldn't be….

NO! She was dead! It was impossible!

Chat didn't want to bring himself to turn around and look at the source of the voice. Maybe he'd finally fully descended into madness and he was now hallucinating? Was he dead? Had that man actually properly stabbed him and he was now in the afterlife with his beloved lady?

He knew he had to look though. He couldn't remain frozen here forever, too scared to turn around.

Bracing himself to see some sort of Ladybug hallucination, Chat Noir slowly turned his head around. However, his eyes widened at the completely unexpected sight. Standing there, with her hands still tightly gripped around his wrists, the black hood of her coat now lowered, was the familiar sight of a girl he had not seen in years…the distraught and angry face of his old classmate…Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

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 **Thank you for reading the first chapter. Feel free to let me know what you think in a review.**


	2. An Old Friend

**Ummm wow? Chapter one certainly got a lot of awesome reception, thank you so much guys. It was certainly unexpected and I'm extremely grateful. Thank you so much for the awesome reviews and to everyone who has followed and added this story to their favourites. It inspires me to keep going.**

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 **Chapter 2: An Old Friend**

All Chat Noir could do was remain frozen, blinking in shock as his eyes remained glued to her face. Her blue eyes glared right back which further intrigued him. Why wasn't she scared? Any other citizen of Paris ran scared at the sight of him. Yet here she was. Hands still firmly wrapped around his wrist, her eyes daring him to go any further with his attack. Something about that scolding look was so familiar to him. For a moment, Chat wondered if his dead heart was about to restart itself at the sight of such similar blue, angry eyes.

My, how Marinette seemed to have changed since the last time he saw her all those years ago. She had grown slightly, though not much, especially compared to him. Her hair seemed slightly shorter and she no longer wore it in twin pigtails, instead, it hung loosely, the tips barely touching her shoulders. Cute freckles still decorated her nose and she looked _tired._ Chat almost wondered if this was still the same Marinette from his school days. Gone was her happy smile, her kind and caring expressions, and the sparkle in her eyes. The friendly and positive aura she used to emanate was also gone.

"Let. Him. Go." Marinette growled out through clenched teeth.

Okay, Chat Noir liked a challenge.

"Make me," he teased with a sadistic, playful smirk dancing across his lips.

He watched as Marinette briefly recoiled in disgust, before her dulled blue eyes turned as hard as steel, a fire igniting behind them that managed to send a shiver down Chat Noir's spine. He had never seen Marinette look so violently angry before. She looked at him with pure unadulterated hatred. A far cry from the fearful looks he was used to getting off people. So much anger, so much passion…a passion and determination so much like… _hers._

Refusing to be caught off guard by the scary similarities, Chat Noir winked at her, just to see how far he could push her.

It worked.

With a cry of anger, Marinette shoved at Chat Noir, and much to his surprise, was actually able to push him off the scumbag he still had pinned to the road beneath him. Chat grunted in shock and stumbled sideways. In the process, the man managed to wiggle himself free and began sprinting for his life down the street. Chat Noir let out a loud, animalistic growl and began attempting to chase his prey down again.

However, he was instantly halted by something catching his tail, preventing him from running off. Chat snarled, turning back to see Marinette tightly gripping his tail in a very familiar fashion. That just made his blood boil even more. He did not need this tonight. He did not need to be reminded so constantly of the love of his life. It was becoming too much to bear and only served to further loosen his already small grip on what was left of his sanity.

Growling, he swiped at Marinette, and though he never actually properly intended on causing her too much harm, she still dropped his tail and ducked out of the way like a pro. She darted to the side before squeaking once she realised her mistake. She was now backed against the wall. Smirking, Chat stalked towards her while Marinette pressed herself further against the wall of the building behind her, glaring at him, though Chat could just about make out that she had in fact begun to tremble slightly.

Chat placed both of his arms on either side of her head, chuckling to himself at how small Marinette was compared to him now. Marinette pressed her mouth into a thin line, her chest heaving up and down with every laboured breath that she took. The fire behind her blue eyes remained as she managed to maintain eye contact with him. However, there was the unmistakable small flicker of fear behind all the feistiness she just displayed.

"Good to see you again, _puurrincess,_ " Chat chuckled lowly.

Marinette continued to stare at him, pure hate dancing across her features.

"It's been a few years. You sure have changed."

"I could say the same thing about you," Marinette snapped.

"Who rattled your cage?" Chat demanded, starting to grow frustrated. "What happened to the lovely, sweet girl I used to know?"

"She's long gone."

Chat raised an eyebrow. "So I see."

Chat reached a claw out to gently stroke it along the outline of her cheek all the way down to her chin. Marinette cringed away as best as she could, but she had no where to go. Chat frowned as he studied her face, a face that, now that he thought about it, was similar to his lady's. How had he not noticed all the time he was in her class at school? It was like fate was playing a cruel joke on him tonight. First that idiotic turtle dared to mention the name of his lady, then the fox and the bee accused him of destroying her memory, and now Marinette stood before him, looking, acting and sounding like his soulmate. He should be torturing Marinette right now. Torturing her for clearly being up to no good if she was out and about in the middle of the night.

But…he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Was it because she was his old friend from school? Was it because she reminded him so much of _her?_ If anything, he should torture her just for the latter reason alone. How dare she mock him like this.

"Now what's a pretty little princess like you doing out so late?" Chat asked, stroking her cheek again.

Marinette tried her best to recoil away. "None of your business, kitty."

 _Kitty._

That nickname. The one that _she_ often used for him. Was Marinette trying to actively push him further over the edge? It was as if Chat was dangling off the edge of a cliff overlooking a dark, endless abyss. He clung on only by the tip of his fingers, and each little similar habit Marinette displayed to _her_ was like a foot stomping on his hand, sending Chat Noir that much closer to the inevitable plummet into the unknown. It was taking every once of Chat's strength to cling on, and now Marinette was going to ruin all of that. However, he couldn't afford to get distracted right now.

"It is my business when someone is out and about this late," Chat hissed.

"Why?" Marinette continued to prod him.

Did this girl have a death wish?

"You don't own the night."

"I think you'll find I do." Chat grinned.

Marinette remained quiet for a few moments before she frowned. "Well? Kill me then."

Chat's grin fell, and his eyes widened.

"What's the matter, kitty?" Marinette taunted. "Can't you do it?"

Shaking off his shock at Marinette's actions, Chat plastered a grin back on his face. "Why would I want to mangle up that pretty face though?"

He continued to stroke Marinette's soft cheeks as she continued to try and recoil away. He could feel her body trembling slightly beneath his touch. It was slight, but it was there. So, Marinette's ability to feel fear wasn't completely broken. She did seem to have some common sense after all. This thought only spurred Chat Noir on in his taunting. Marinette did appear to be easy to wind up. It was just a case of finding the right buttons to push.

Chat leaned his face in closer to hers, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "Do I frighten you, princess?" He purred, placing both hands back into their previous position next to her head, causing him to further tower over her small, petite form.

"No," Marinette responded flatly before her expression morphed back into one of pure hatred. "You just disgust me."

Without warning, Marinette spat in Chat Noir's face, catching him completely off guard. He closed his eyes as a reflex for only a split second, however, this was enough time for Marinette to easily duck under his arm and take off running down the street.

Chat Noir let out a deep growl as he wiped his face with his hand, his vision once again turning red. His head snapped around to see Marinette still sprinting down the street, causing a deep thrill to course through his veins. A shiver ran up his spine at the thought of chasing his old friend down and making her pay for doing that.

With that thought, Chat Noir crouched down and began sprinting after her. Easily catching up, Chat Noir leapt forward, wrapping his arms around her waist and knocking her to the ground. Marinette let out a yelp as she suddenly found herself pinned to the ground.

"Not so fearless now, huh?" Chat teased before he grunted as he received a powerful kick to the stomach which sent him flying off her. He managed to catch himself and land properly, his head just briefly avoiding making contact with the hard concrete ground below him. Where did Marinette learn to defend herself like that?

He whipped his head back around to stare at her incredulously. Much to his shock, Marinette was starting to look more and more distressed. The colour had drained from her face and her breathing was heavy and laboured. Unexpectedly, she suddenly wrapped her arms loosely around herself, and Chat watched in shock and horror as her knees buckled beneath her.

Chat instantly ran forward, his previous anger and playfulness was forgotten and replaced with a feeling he had not felt in a long time: deep concern. Luckily, Chat managed to catch her head with the palm of his hand before she could hit the ground. He couldn't fathom what had just happened. One moment Marinette was sassing him, something that no other civilian dared to do, and the next she…okay, Chat wasn't sure what was happening to his old friend right now.

She wasn't unconscious. In fact, her eyes were wide open, staring and wild, her pupils darting about as if she was seeing something that Chat Noir couldn't. Her whole frame began to tremble violently, her limbs curling inwards as Marinette tried to form the tightest ball possible. It didn't seem like she even realised that Chat Noir was there right now.

The sight was so scary, traumatic and heart-breaking that Chat Noir felt like his cold, dead heart might restart again. It was horrific to see his old friend behaving this way. What was wrong with her? What had happened to her? Was she having some sort of breakdown? Chat wasn't sure what to do. All of a sudden, he felt…weirdly protective of her…

"S-stop." He heard Marinette whimper.

"What?"

"S-stop the pain. I-it burns."

"Marinette?" Chat called to her, hoping that hearing her name would make her snap out of it.

Nothing.

Marinette remained completely oblivious to the world around her. Small whimpers escaped her trembling lips, and Chat Noir only grew more worried.

"Marinette!" Chat tried again.

Still nothing.

She looked so vulnerable…so scared. The look on her face…it was exactly the same as the last expression he had seen on _her_ face before she…

Broken glass surrounded him, and the hot flames towered above them. The raging inferno hissed and crackled as the flames quickly spread, and Hawkmoth's laugh could barely be heard over the loud roar of the blaze.

Chat Noir gazed up from the front garden, which continued to burn around him, up to the large, round, broken window. Hawkmoth's silhouette was barely visible, but that was not his priority right now. He would change what happened. He would not lose Ladybug this time.

Looking down, Marinette's body was replaced with Ladybug's, and Chat Noir cuddled her as close to his chest as possible. She looked beyond terrified as her eyes stared ahead at nothing, and her whole form trembled. This was his chance to make things right. This time, he would save her. He would tell her the truth of what really happened, and he would love and look after her forever.

His precious Ladybug. He had to protect his Ladybug.

With his new-found resolve, Chat Noir stood up, carrying the limp form of his lady in his arms. He adjusted her weight so he was just carrying her with one arm, and reached for his baton that was attached to his belt. He was going to save her. He was going to save her. He was going to save her. He was not going to lose her this time. Not now. Not ever. He would never let her out of his sight again.

Ignoring the shaking that vibrated through his entire body, Chat Noir extended his baton and rose them high and out of the danger of the flames. Chat Noir coughed from all of the smoke as he gazed down at his lady to check that she was okay. Broken glass stuck out of her skin, her whole body battered and bruised, and she was covered in blood.

Never again. He would never let this happen to her again.

Her eyes remained staring, her whole body continued to tremble, and Chat Noir wondered if she was in shock. He had to get her to safety.

Leaning his weight to one side, Chat swung them both to a building further away before he sighed with relief now that they were safely away from the Agreste mansion. He couldn't care less that his home was burning right now and that his father was still inside. What mattered was Ladybug. This time, he was getting her out. This time, she would live.

Chat Noir hopped from one roof to another, still carrying the limp form of Ladybug in his arms until he finally came to rest on a small balcony. Chat looked back and he could still see the huge tower of thick, black smoke climbing into the sky as the fire glowed an ominous red in the distance. Sirens echoed throughout the city and helicopters were everywhere.

Ducking out of the view of one of the helicopter's searchlights, Chat Noir hid behind the tall chimney towards the back of the balcony, and once he was certain they weren't going to be spotted, he gently laid Ladybug down on the ground beneath them.

Chat Noir had never seen his lady so terrified before, and the guilt began eating away at him. He had done this to her. He had nearly killed her

"My lady…" Chat breathed, crawling across her body to whisper into her ear. "It's alright now, you're safe. I got you out of there this time."

"The fire!" Ladybug gasped, her body twitching slightly beneath his.

"There's no more fire." Chat stroked her hair. "I got you out of there this time. I saved you. I saved you…"

Chat Noir watched with a sigh of relief as Ladybug's beautiful blue eyes began to focus properly again. Her eyes darted around in confusion and fear before she flinched as Chat Noir began to stroke her cheek. Chat didn't pull back though, enjoying the sensation of feeling his lady beneath his fingers, something he feared he would never be able to do again.

"Ssssh," Chat soothed her, "it's okay, you're okay; I saved you this time."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"I got you out of the fire this time. I promise, nothing will ever happen to you again," Chat vowed.

"C-Chat…?"

Chat ignored Ladybug's confused tone and expression. Right now, he was unable to resist leaning in and capturing her lips with his own. He kissed her passionately and fiercely, desperate to prove that she was real and that she was safe. She was his everything and he had almost lost her.

Ladybug didn't respond to the kiss though. Instead, Chat Noir suddenly realised, she was thrashing against him, trying to push him off her. Chat Noir pulled away with a gasp, jumping off her, his eyes wide with fear once he realised what he had just done. He knew his lady had feelings for someone else, someone that was not him, but in that moment, he just couldn't help himself. He had come so close to losing her.

He slowly backed away, his black, leather cat ears drooping slightly as his whole body shook.

"I-I'm sorry," Chat gasped out.

"You're crazy!" Ladybug screamed at him, her face thunderous and full of rage and hatred.

"No, I'm not!" Chat insisted. "Let me explain! It was all just a ploy!"

"Chat, what are you talking about?!" Marinette shrieked.

Wait…

Chat Noir looked around in a state of terrified confusion.

Where had his lady gone?

Instead, standing where she had just been standing, was Marinette. Her facial expression was the exact same Ladybug's had been. Marinette pressed her back against the chimney that made up the back of her balcony, and that's when Chat Noir finally realised where he was. He was on Marinette's balcony. How and when did he get here? What just happened?

He…he had just saved Ladybug…hadn't he?

The realisation came painfully crashing down on him as if someone had just dropped a heavy truck on top of him. His heart pulsated in his chest at the realisation he hadn't just been given a second chance.

Ladyb – _she_ was still dead.

He hadn't saved her from the fire.

Chat Noir wanted to scream. He wanted to cry out in the hopes that it might expel at least some of the pain that was currently washing over him and drowning him in the deep ocean of lost hope. It was finally happening. His decent into madness was continuing after four long years stagnation. Now he was having horrendous flashbacks, only his brain taunted him with the image of actually managing to save his lady. He had even seemingly acted out his hallucinations.

Did that mean he had just forcibly kissed _Marinette_?

No wonder she looked so angry right now. However, he couldn't really bring himself to care. He had just been served his most precious desire, only to have it snatched away from him. That desire was only fulfilled in another universe though. Another universe where his plan had worked, or he hadn't even come up with the stupid and dangerous idea in the first place. Another universe where s _he_ was alive and well and they were maybe even together right now. Living a long and happy life together. Instead, he was stuck in this universe. Where the worst case scenario had occurred.

Chat Noir sighed as another finger was painfully stomped on, once again putting him that most closer to falling into the dark abyss beneath him. He looked away from Marinette, unable to meet her eyes. Eyes that painfully reminded him too much of _hers._ He couldn't bare to see eyes that resembled _hers_ so much looking at him in pure disgust and anger.

It was too much.

Nonetheless, Marinette didn't deserve to witness all of that, nor did he particularly like that she had seen him at his weakest. He saved his breakdowns for the daytime, when he was cooped up in his family's mansion, hiding away from the world in shame.

"I'm sorry," Chat mumbled, his eyes transfixed by the stars, "I didn't mean for you to see that, and I'm sorry for forcibly kissing you."

Marinette remained quiet, and Chat Noir finally turned around to face her again, the curiosity of what she was doing and thinking eating away at him. He was slightly shocked to see that Marinette's expression appeared to have softened slightly. She still looked pissed and she still looked disgusted, but there was a hint of understanding on her face. She had folded her arms tightly across her chest as if she was terrified that she would somehow break apart if she didn't.

"Are you alright?" Chat asked her flatly.

Marinette didn't respond, instead pressing her lips into a tight, thin line.

"You kinda passed out on me a little back there, so what was that all about?"

Still no response.

Chat sighed, running his hands through his thick, wild, blond hair. "It's been years since I've seen you. What have you been up to all this time?"

Marinette's eyes sparkled angrily. "You were all for attacking me a few minutes ago, now you want to have a casual conversation?!"

Chat shrugged. "I don't know, maybe I just couldn't bring myself to hurt an old friend."

"Oh, how merciful of you," Marinette spat out.

"Hey!" Chat chastised. "Don't push your luck. I could've left you there in the middle of the street."

This seemed to shut Marinette up as she looked away awkwardly.

"Thank you," she mumbled begrudgingly.

"You're welcome."

For some reason, Chat just couldn't bring himself to turn around and leave. He knew he should've done at this point. Instead, he continued to awkwardly stand around, yet he didn't know why. It was like some invisible lead was tied around his neck, keeping him tethered to Marinette's balcony.

There was just something about Marinette that he had always found endearing, even when they were both attending school together. Even now, with all of her angry attitude and scarily weird behaviour, he couldn't bring himself to truly hate or harm her. She just reminded him so much of _her_ that harming her would be like harming his lady. Marinette appeared to be an enigmatic exception to his rules. There was just something about his old classmate that felt so familiar…so comforting. Chat Noir found himself unable to resist clinging onto that.

Marinette had clearly been through something bad between the last time he had seen her and now. Something had happened to this once sweet and innocent girl that had deeply affected and changed her. Chat Noir almost found her…relatable. They were immensely suffering internally with little to no people in the world who would understand them.

"You've changed Marinette." Chat Noir found himself unable to resist voicing that fact.

Marinette raised an eyebrow at him. "And you haven't?"

"Touché." Chat chuckled.

Marinette unfolded her arms and looked away. "I want you to leave, Chat."

"What?"

"I want you to leave me alone," Marinette repeated, her tone angrier and more demanding this time.

"The princess wounds and betrays me with her lack of gratitude," Chat Noir grumbled before turning around to take off, however, he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of Marinette letting out an angry growl.

"Betray you?!" Marinette shrieked. " _You_ betrayed everyone! You betrayed Paris… _L-Ladybug_!"

Chat literally felt something snap inside him.

His green eyes became murderous, and his whole body tensed up. Driven by pure anger, Chat Noir turned back around and pounced on Marinette, slamming her back against the bricks of the chimney, causing her to yelp in pain. He pinned her shoulders down, forcing her to remain still and look at him. For once, Marinette's eyes were actually filled with fear, and tears welled in her eyes at the sight of the inhumane, savage and barbaric expression on his face. Chat Noir wanted to snap her neck right now for daring to speak such words. His hands twitched ready to do so, but once again an invisible force stopped him.

"What happened to you, Chat?" Marinette demanded, her voice shaking. "Why are you doing all this?"

Chat ignored her questions as he snarled at her.

"You know not what you speak of," Chat growled at her through clenched teeth. "You are a mere civilian who could not possibly understand what happened that night. Never mention this again and never if you value your life mention _her_ name again. Are we clear?"

Marinette swallowed, her chest heaved with her laboured breathing which was slightly constricted by Chat's chest pressed against her own. She nodded, her eyes still wide with terror.

"Good," Chat purred before he gently stroked her fingers along her neck, "because if you do, I'll snap that pretty little neck of yours, princess." It was an empty threat, and deep down Chat Noir knew that, but it seemed Marinette also knew how to press his buttons as well. No one was to ever dare mention that night as well as _her_ name in his presence. It was unspoken rule that everybody knew, yet Marinette just had to push the boundaries.

Marinette's fear began to vanish, once again replaced with hatred and disgust. "Now go away and leave me alone," she commanded, though there was a desperate edge to her voice.

"With pleasure," Chat hissed, letting her go.

Marinette slid down the bricks of the chimney, landing in a fetal position on the ground, her hands clutching her neck, her eyes wide with shock.

Chat Noir chuckled, glad that the message seemed to have sunk in. Without another word, Chat Noir turned around and leapt off from the rails of the balcony, taking back off into the night, his mind still consumed with the intoxicating thoughts of Marinette.

* * *

 **Intense chapter. It was pretty hard to write and I ended up re-writing it a good few times. I hope it's turned out okay. Feel free to let me know what you guys think in a review. Not sure when my next update will be, but I never leave huge gaps between them. Hope you guys have a good weekend.**


	3. The Truest Reflection

**Hello again everyone and welcome back. Man, this chapter gave me so much trouble. I wasn't feeling too well when I wrote it and my laptop kept freezing as I was writing which was annoying as hell. Hopefully this hasn't hindered the quality of the chapter. Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews. This was actually going to be a story that I updated once in a blue moon, but because your support has been so overwhelming, I decided to update it on the regular. The power of reviewing for ya.**

 **Just a little heads up, there's some pretty grotesque imagery in this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: The Truest Reflection**

The sun was just beginning to peak over the buildings of Paris when Chat Noir landed on all fours in the front garden of the Agreste mansion. If one was to look at the beautiful mansion now, you never would have thought that this had been the site of something tragic four years ago. The mansion had been repaired down to the last detail, while also eliminated all traces of his father. It held so many bad memories, yet, Chat Noir could never bring himself to move out. This was the last place he had seen his lady alive and well, it was the closest he could get to her.

After looking around to make sure nobody had seen him, Chat Noir released his transformation. Without waiting for Plagg to compose himself, Adrien Agreste walked straight back inside, unable to be out in the open like that as Adrien, the son of Gabriel.

The son of Hawkmoth.

Recoiling at the thought, Adrien slammed the front double doors behind him, the loud _bang_ echoed throughout the large empty mansion. Plagg phased through the door, not saying a word as Adrien dragged himself up the stairs towards his room. His footsteps echoed loudly, and he kept his eyes downcast, completely engulfed by thoughts of _her_ and… _Marinette._

Growling to himself and shaking his head, he pulled some camembert out of his pocket and handed it to Plagg who was floating along next to him. The black kwami snatched the cheese off him, offering no hint of gratitude as he scoffed his cheese in angry silence.

Adrien frowned at his kwami. Plagg had been this way since…since it became accepted that _she…_ was dead. Before, they had both been there for each other, waiting, praying and hoping that Ladybug and her kwami would show up alive somewhere.

As the days ticked by though, they both grew less and less hopeful and became more and more withdrawn. It was just after the funeral that Chat Noir had attacked his first criminal. He had been laying low as Chat Noir for weeks, but Adrien couldn't take it anymore. He had to destroy something, hurt someone, anything that would help him feel again.

Plagg quietly let Adrien do what he did as Chat Noir, never once protesting, but never once agreeing either. It was rare to get two words out of him these days, and Adrien just accepted that fact. He never really felt like talking anyway. Their relationship was tense now to say the least.

With tired eyes, he watched his kwami eat and for once, Adrien found himself wanting to know what was going on inside his kwami's head.

"Plagg?"

Plagg finished his cheese and turned away as if he was pretending that he hadn't heard Adrien say his name, but Adrien was sure that his little kwami had heard him.

"You blame me for what happened, don't you?" Adrien sighed, staring sadly out his window.

Again, Plagg remained quiet.

"Don't worry though," Adrien continued, "You can't blame me as much as I blame myself."

Finally, Plagg sighed. "All I know…is that your actions are what resulted in the ladybug miraculous – Tikki – going missing."

Adrien glared at his kwami. "At least that's something that can maybe be recovered one day. _L-Ladybug_ on the other hand…she's gone _forever._ "

Plagg glared back at him, narrowing his green cat-like eyes before looking away again.

"And I'll…I'll never get her back…and it's all my fault," Adrien choked as he began neurotically pacing his room. "And I have to live with that for the rest of my life…AND HOW DARE MARINETTE BRING THAT UP TO ME! Do I not get tortured enough by my own thoughts and memories?! I don't need other people reminding me of what I did! That stupid stupid stupid girl!"

Plagg cringed away slightly before his eyes widened. "Did you just say _Marinette?_ That girl who went to your school?"

"Yes, why?!" Adrien turned around to snarl at his kwami.

Plagg merely smirked vengefully. "No reason."

Despite how much his old friend had angered him tonight, he just couldn't seem to get her face out of his head. She looked so much like his lady, it was almost striking. How vulnerable she had looked when she had collapsed…it pained him. It pained him to threaten her like he did when she too was clearly suffering on a level that seemed almost close to his own.

He couldn't help it though. Any mention of her name set him off. Especially when they dared to bring up what happened that night. And Marinette had crossed both of those lines. He didn't care how cute and vulnerable she seemed, no one got away with doing that.

Adrien stopped pacing and stood before his wall length mirror simply staring at himself…at what he had become. There were large, dark circles under his lifeless, bloodshot eyes, his hair was a thick mess and he was starting to lose a lot of weight again. He looked so much like his mother, but there was just enough of his father in him to send a haunted chill down his spine.

In that moment, all Adrien would do was see his father in the mirror before him, smirking at him, whispering empty promises, crazed ramblings and continuous excuses for all of those years of cold-hearted neglect.

With a loud, angry shriek, Adrien pulled his fist back before throwing it forward again, punching the mirror as hard as he could. The mirror cracked under the force, small shards broke off and feel the floor. His hands began bleeding profusely, but Adrien didn't care. He was too tired to even attempt to care. Ignoring the mess and the pain in his hand, Adrien made his way over to his bed before collapsing onto it, allowing the usual nightmares to engulf him once again.

.

Betrayal.

Nothing but a deep burning betrayal that scalded her more than the flames that surrounded her.

How could he?

How could he do this to everyone? To Paris? _To her?_

The look of horror in his green eyes was the last thing she saw as her back painfully collided with the large round window. The glass shattered into millions of pieces upon impact, impaling her skin and painfully stabbing her. Ladybug barely had any energy to cry out.

It was all too much.

Chat's betrayal swirled around in her head, a dizzying whirlpool of emotion: hurt, anger, confusion. Blood trickled down her skin, but in that moment, Ladybug couldn't bring herself to care.

She had failed.

Hawkmoth smiled sadistically at her, still clutching her yo-yo in his hand, waving at her, mocking her with the one tool that would save in her life in that moment. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. Maybe it was. Maybe all of this was just a dream. One horrible nightmare and at any moment, Ladybug would wake up. Everything would be normal.

But no.

This was real.

Making peace with that thought, Ladybug closed her eyes. This was it. This was how it was going to end for her. She was about to die. Perhaps it was better this way. This way, she would never have to face up to her failings. Hawkmoth had won, and she would attone for that with her death.

The wind whipped through her hair as she fell, and hot ash clung to her skin as she fell, burning her – a taste of what was to come. The air around her grew hotter and hotter as she fell towards the raging inferno below. Wanting to make this as quick and painless as possible, Ladybug rotated herself as she fell, making sure her head would be the first to hit the ground. There was nothing on the wall for her to grab and stop herself from falling.

This truly was it.

The faces of her loved ones flashed across her mind…her mother, her father, Alya…Adrien.

She would never get the chance to tell him how she really felt about him. But in this moment, she could at least pretend. As the air continued to grow hotter, she imagined it was Adrien's warm embrace as he wrapped his arms around her, admitting that he loved her too. A small smile crept onto Ladybug's face as she imagined his lips pressed against hers, her whole body igniting under his very touch.

"Adrien…" Ladybug whispered.

 _Smack._

The world around her blurred, morphing into dizzying swirls, making Ladybug's head spin faster and faster. Her head pounded, and intense heat surrounded her, burning her skin, scolding every inch of her body as her flesh sizzled like meat on a barbeque. It felt like needles were dancing across her skin and her lungs began to scream at her.

 _Air_.

There was no air. Only thick smoke which polluted her lungs, choking her. Was this death? It was more painful than Ladybug could have ever imagined.

Curiosity getting the better of her, Ladybug slowly opened her eyes which were heavy and stubborn. Above her was a vast darkness. How strange. Ladybug was sure she should have been looking up at the Agreste mansion right now.

Despite the intense pain shooting through every inch of her body, Ladybug forced herself to sit up. Her skin still felt like it was on fire, and Ladybug couldn't help but whimper and hold back loud cries of pain every time she moved even the slightest.

Finally managing to sit up properly, Ladybug gasped in fright at the sight of what was surrounding her. Large mirrors circled her, forcing her to look at herself. She wasn't Ladybug anymore. She was Marinette. Her superhero suit was gone, replaced by her torn, dirty civilian clothes that had all been practically burnt away from her body. Her earrings beeped loudly in her ears continuously, and Marinette's wide blue eyes could not help but be glued to the sight of her own body in the mirror.

She was Marinette, but she did not look like Marinette. Her skin was bright red and yellow, most of it completely burnt off. Blood and pus oozed out and dribbled down what was left of her skin. Her beautiful thick, dark hair was nearly singed off completely, smoke dancing off the few strands that were left clinging to her head. Her face had remained almost untouched apart from a few deep cuts with chunks of glass sticking out, sparking like crystals in the reflection of the mirror. It was still hot. Unbearably hot.

Upon seeing her reflection, Marinette let out a blood-curdling scream that echoed through the dark void around her. The mirrors that surrounded her cracked before shattering completely, and pieces of glass began floating all around her.

She was falling. Falling down, down, down…

" _AHHHHHH!"_ Marinette screamed as she awoke with a violent jolt. Sweat dripped down her skin as she looked frantically around, her eyes wide and terrified.

She was in her room.

It was all just a dream.

However, that thought failed to calm Marinette down. She was still incredibly hot. Was she on fire again?

Panicking, Marinette looked down at her body, running her hands across it, checking every inch of herself. No. She wasn't on fire again. She was safe in her room. So why was it so hot? Her heart began beating erratically in her chest. Was something in her room on fire?

Her eyes darted around her room, looking for any sign of smoke or an ominous glow. She had to find the fire. She had to put it out.

Marinette was focusing so hard on finding the source of the fire that it made her jump when three gentle knocks echoed from behind her trapdoor and into her bedroom.

"Marinette, sweety?" Her mother's voice called, unsure. "Is it okay if I come in?"

"Y-yeah," Marinette called back, still searching. She barely registered her mother opening the door and climbing inside, though she immediately felt her mother's eyes watching her every move. Sabine stayed standing by the door, always remaining cautious and staring at her daughter as if she was a stranger, as if she was made of the most fragile glass where one wrong word or movement could break her forever.

"Something's on fire, mom," Marinette gasped out in panic causing Sabine to blink in confusion.

"What do you mean, dear?"

"It's really hot, why is it so hot?" Marinette demanded, turning to glare at her mother. Marinette then gasped as the realisation hit her. "You put the heating on, didn't you?"

"Marinette, it's really cold today, I'm sorry, I thought you wouldn't notice."

Marinette growled and pulled at her hair in frustration. "I told you not to do that." Marinette then stormed past her mother and down the stairs into the living room. She barely registered the sight of Alya and her father talking amongst themselves who both looked up at her, deep concern on their features as they watched her every movement. Sabine frantically followed her daughter down the stairs, but Marinette only had eyes for the thermostat. She dashed towards it and turned the heat down.

"Mari, are you alright?" Alya asked, starting to sound alarmed.

"It's too hot," Marinette complained.

"If you're too hot, maybe you should try taking your jacket off, sweetheart," her father cautiously suggested.

Marinette frowned and wrapped her jacket tighter around herself. "No, I'm good."

The three of them all exchanged glances which Marinette ignored. She was used to them treating her like this by now. Looking at each other, whispering as if she was a toddler who couldn't understand what they were all talking about, what they were all thinking. She just didn't like it being too hot. There was nothing weird or strange about that. They were the ones who started treating her like she was some sort of alien creature when she got back from…well, when she got back.

"Anyway," Sabine said after a few minutes of awkward silence, "I came up to tell you that Alya is here to see you."

"Right," Marinette responded flatly.

Alya sighed, looking down at her feet as she headed up the stairs to Marinette's attic room. Wordlessly, Marinette followed before closing her door behind her. She then stood and waited, her eyes glued to her feet, waiting for Alya to speak. When her best friend said nothing, Marinette sighed, deciding to break the awkward silence.

"I went outside yesterday," she announced, her tone completely flat.

Alya looked at her in excitement. "You did? That's fantastic, Marinette!"

Marinette ignored her praise. "I went looking for you, but you weren't at home. I waited and waited but you never came back."

"Oh…well…I…" Alya stuttered, and Marinette found herself smirking slightly. "There was this thing…I was at Nino's. You should've called me."

"I did," Marinette explained, walking back over to sit at her desk which was piled high with paperwork. "I wanted to return that manuscript you asked me to read."

"You mean the book I'm writing on Ladybug?" Alya walked over to stand next to her.

"Yeah, that." Marinette sighed as she handed Alya her work back.

"So…what did you think of it then?" Alya asked when Marinette said nothing else.

Marinette forced a smile. "It was really good. You certainly were L-Ladybug's number one fan."

Alya sighed. "I just don't want her memory to be forgotten. She gave her life to protect the city and I want to make sure her sacrifice wasn't in vain; that everyone remembers what she did. She was the most amazing and kind person to ever exist."

"I wouldn't go that far," Marinette mumbled low enough to keep Alya from hearing before she pressed her lips into a tight, thin line. Her blue eyes darted towards the top drawer of her desk before she went back to staring blankly out the window.

"I was wondering, if it wasn't too much to ask…" Alya asked nervously, "could you maybe, design the cover for the book?"

Marinette blinked in shock. Another life time ago, she would have been honoured and thrilled at the idea of doing such a thing. But now…the thought of designing the cover for Ladybug's biography…it made her feel physically sick. Part of her wanted to admit everything. Ladybug wasn't really dead, she was sitting right here. Alive and…alive.

Just alive.

Because that's all Marinette felt like she was doing right now: existing.

Even that could be a challenge sometimes. Every morning she woke up in this reality after living the painful memories of what happened in her nightmares. There was no relief when she woke up. The nightmares never ended because she lived through them both day and night.

There was no escape.

This was Marinette's world now.

A world of never ending pain.

A world of just existing; forcing herself to live a normal life.

She worried everyone, she knew that. But how could she go back to truly having a normal life and being normal after everything? It was impossible. She thought she had been making progress yesterday. She forced herself to go outside and face the world.

But then she saw _him._

The one person in her life whom she never wanted to see again for as long as she lived. _He_ had done this to her. _He_ had the nerve to threaten her last night at the mention of her own name. A name that was stolen from her by _him._

Feeling her fists clench in a fiery anger, Marinette forced herself to calm down when she could once again feel Alya's hazel eyes watching her, waiting for her to reply. She knew she would never be able to bring herself to do it. She hadn't even read Alya's book like she said she had. Anything that reminded her of her old life, Marinette couldn't bear. So she left the manuscript on her desk for days, just collecting dust until a feasible time arrived for her to hand it back to make it look like she had read it. And look where that had gotten her. Face to face with… _him._

"I…I don't know," Marinette finally responded, "I'm not really inspired right now."

"Oh come on, girl," Alya begged, "that's what you've been saying for years. You need to start drawing and designing again otherwise how are you going to get into university? They're going to want to see some recent stuff, not just the stuff you made years ago."

Marinette frowned, leaning back miserably in her chair. "I'll sort something out."

"Mari," Alya sighed sadly as she crouched down next to Marinette, putting a comforting hand on her knee. "I don't understand what happened to you, and I know you don't like to talk about it, but…you need to snap out of it, girl. You can't keep living your life like this."

Marinette said nothing, continuing to stare straight ahead.

"Look…I'm sorry for shouting at you. You know I'll always be here for you, but…I need the old Marinette back."

"No you don't!" Marinette abruptly snapped, pushing Alya's hand away before standing up so fast, she knocked her chair backwards before she began pacing her room. "Nobody really cares about the real old Marinette. You all make out that she was some innocent little angel who succeeded at everything when she didn't!"

Alya's eyes widened. "Mari, what on earth are you talking about?"

"N-nothing," Marinette stuttered, feeling herself on the verge of tears. "Thanks for coming over, but you can leave now."

"What?"

"I said, you can leave now."

"Oh girl, come on I –"

"Please, just go!" Marinette screamed, startling Alya who immediately began darting towards the door.

"Okay, okay," She quickly muttered, hoping to maybe keep Marinette calm.

They didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to each other as Marinette loudly slammed the door behind Alya the second she was out of the way. Wrapping her arms around herself, Marinette wasn't surprised to hear Alya and her parents begin muttering to each other in the kitchen below – most likely about her. This caused Marinette to let out a cry of frustration and pain. She felt like she was a volcano, ready to erupt at any second, leaving nothing but devastation in her wake.

Every day, everything she kept bottled up inside of her became harder and harder to contain. The feeling of Chat Noir's fingers stroking her skin invaded her mind. His eyes…so familiar, yet so dead. This was _his_ fault. If she hadn't run into him last night, then she wouldn't be feeling like this right now. He had even caused her to suffer a flashback right in front of him. Once again, he brought nothing but devastation into her life.

For years she had done her best to ignore him. She kept away from the news, desiring to hear nothing of him in the hopes of pretending that he didn't exist. Marinette knew that went against the plan, but she couldn't bring herself to care anymore. She didn't care what happened to her old partner. Rena Rouge, Queen Bee and Carapace would catch him eventually and end it like she had failed to do. Those thoughts washed over her like a great tidal wave and Marinette found herself sinking towards the floor with her head in her hands.

Crouching down, Marinette rocked back and forth, gripping her hair as tightly as possible, pulling on the now shorter strands. She had failed everyone. She couldn't even keep her own partner on side. Paris had three new heroes now. Three new heroes who would do a better job than she ever could.

Marinette wasn't sure how long she remained crouched on the ground, rocking backwards and forwards, but by the time she managed to calm down enough to look up again, the sun was beginning to set. With a sigh, Marinette heaved herself up from the floor and stood over her desk gazing down at her university application forms. Most of them she hadn't even begun to fill out yet.

All her dreams were laid out in front of her. Ever since she was a little girl, Marinette had dreamed of attending university to study fashion. Maybe even work for Gabriel's company one day. But that dream was dead now. The Gabriel brand hung in limbo after he had been arrested upon the discovery that he was Hawkmoth.

Marinette wasn't too sure what had happened. All that she could gather was that Chat Noir must have turned on him at some point. That felt even more like a stab to the heart. His betrayal…had been for nothing.

As she stared at her now blank bedroom walls, Marinette remember all of the photos of Adrien that she used to have hanging up. She hadn't seen Adrien since just before the final battle. She couldn't imagine how hard for him it must have been to find out his father was Hawkmoth. Nino said he never left his house now; he had eternally locked himself away.

Not that Marinette could bring herself to see him. She couldn't really bring herself to face anyone. Over the years her feelings for Adrien became deeply submerged to the point of not existing anymore. The only person from the outside world Adrien would occasional see, was Nino, and that was only if Nino met up with him inside his house. Marinette couldn't help but wonder what Adrien looked like now; how much had he changed?

The sound of her phone vibrating made her jump and Marinette picked her phone up to see that it was a message from Alya.

 _Sorry about earlier xoxoxo_

Shaking her head sadly, Marinette placed her phone back down and continued to stare at her application papers. Alya was right. Marinette had nothing new to offer them. In fact she had nothing to offer to them at all. Marinette hadn't sewn or drawn anything in years now. So what was the point in applying to a course that wasn't even something she could bring herself to do anymore? Her life was ruined and would likely remain ruined. They probably wouldn't even accept her applications anyway.

With that thought, Marinette picked up one of her papers, staring at the words on the page but not reading them. Frowning, Marinette then gripped two corners beneath her fingers and tore the application in two, followed by another and then another, until all of the application papers had been torn up. With a fake smile on her face, Marinette then threw the shredded pieces of paper into the air, watching them rain back down to the floor like confetti.

Her eyes were once again drawn towards the top drawer of her desk, and Marinette could feel herself beginning to lose her mind. She needed to get out. She needed some fresh air. She didn't care that it was dark outside now, she just needed to be able to breathe again. If Chat Noir found her and killed her then so be it. In fact, he'd be doing her a favour for once. To kill her would be an act of kindness after everything else he had done to her.

Pulling her jacket tighter around her, Marinette grabbed her keys before climbing down her stairs and into the lower floor of the apartment she shared with her parents. The kitchen and living room were empty. Thankfully, it seemed her parents had headed into their bedroom and called it a night which meant they wouldn't be around to stop her.

Marinette quickly left through the front door and climbed down the stairs, exiting through the main entrance of the bakery. By the time Marinette had made it outside, the sun had set over the horizon and stars were beginning to twinkle in the night sky. The peacefulness of the night seemed to be mocking Marinette over her inner turmoil.

However, Marinette froze when she caught sight of the park across the street from her house. Displayed near the entrance, was a life-sized statue of Ladybug, situated there to eternally taunt her. Turning away in disgust, Marinette began making her way down the now deserted streets of Paris, freezing as she passed by some road works near the bottom of her street.

Marinette stared at the large sledgehammer that had been left near a pile of cones, clearly having been left there in the builders' haste to get back home before night fell. Without thinking, Marinette picked up the heavy sledgehammer with both hands and began storming back towards the park.

The bronze statue came back into view and shone dimly in the moonlight. The sight of her old self made her freeze again before she stared down at the hammer in her hands. A single tear cascaded down her cheek, trickling off her face, dropping down onto the wooden handle of the hammer, splattering into separate smaller pieces. Gripping the hammer tighter in her hands, Marinette continued walking with purpose, now letting the tears flow freely down her cheek.

Stopping just in front of the statue, Marinette stared at it, examining its detailed features that captured every inch of Ladybug's essence. It was like looking into a mirror. A mirror reflecting a time long forgotten.

Ladybug was gone.

Everyone had made sure of that, including herself.

How dare the city of Paris erect this statue! How dare people make presumptions about her! How dare Chat Noir have the nerve to lecture her and threaten her over Ladybug when _he_ was the one who had caused her demise in the first place!

That last thought caused Marinette to see red.

With an angry huff, Marinette swung the sledgehammer around, violently hitting it against the statue. She didn't pay attention to where she hit, all she wanted to do was cause its destruction. Within two swings she had managed to knock the head off, sending it crashing to the ground. The smiling face and blank eyes of the statue stared back up at her, causing Marinette to let out a loud growl before she swung the hammer again and smashed it against Ladybug's face. In doing so, Marinette felt like a great pressure was being released from her chest. It felt like she could almost breathe normally again after having a crushing weight balanced on her chest for so long.

Marinette swung the hammer until she had no energy left in her anymore. By the time she was finished, the statue was in pieces, lying scattered on the ground around her. Her chest heaved with her laboured breathing and she finally lowered the hammer, gripping it loosely as she stared at the mess she had created around her.

Although she felt like a pressure had been lifted, Marinette was sure that doing what she did didn't make her feel overall better at all. If anything, seeing a statue of herself, abused and broken into pieces on the ground, only reminded her current state. Like that statue, she too was in pieces. Broken beyond repair. Damaged goods. A lost cause. Hawkmoth and Chat Noir had made sure of that.

Without thinking, Marinette reached up to stroke her earlobes…her now bare earlobes. Her earrings were long gone. She hadn't worn them in years but every now and then, Marinette found herself reaching up to touch the place where they once were.

 _Oh Tikki…_ Marinette thought to herself as she looked up into the sky, _what would you think of me now?_

However, Marinette was brought out of her deep thoughts by the sound of something landing on the ground directly behind her. Marinette instantly went rigid and tightened her grip on the hammer.

Footsteps strode towards her from behind, and a shiver ran down her spine at the feeling of fingers delicately brushing strands of her hair out of the way. She felt him lean in close to her face, his lips almost pressed up against her ear as he sinisterly whispered, "and just what do you think you're doing, _purrincess_?"

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 **I swear this chapter was jinxed. I had so many issues while writing it, so I really hope that it has turned out okay despite everything. Oh wait, it's Friday the 13** **th** **isn't it? Damn, that must be why then. Hope you guys have had better luck than me today. As always, feel free to leave a review. I read and appreciate every single one of them and they're always incredibly helpful. See you soon.**


	4. Hide and Seek

**PLEASE READ: Okay, so I'm noticing a few reviews that are starting to frequently point out a certain issue, so I figured I'd address it in this chapter all at once for everyone. Obviously, this story has a theme of mental health, which has caused a few worries and misunderstandings which I understand. I'm not looking for attention and sympathy, but I'm not exactly known for my great mental health, so I'm not naïve when it comes to these subjects. These issues are difficult to write about and many writers can get them wrong. Naturally, many questions and suggestions have also arisen in the reviews, so I just want to make a few things clear. While there are textbook definitions of the symptoms people may suffer due to these conditions, everyone's experiences with said symptoms are different. People handle mental health problems in different ways and since everyone's brain is unique, everyone's experiences can be unique. That's why, say for example, Marinette, despite obviously having these issues in this story, is behaving differently say from a family member or friend you know who also may have the same condition. Most importantly, without getting into spoiler territory, this is not something that Chat Noir and Marinette are just going to simply and quickly "get over." I'm quite a realistic writer and most of my fanfictions take a more realistic approach to situations, especially in terms of thoughts and emotions. These things take time and a** _ **LOT**_ **of hard work.**

 **Okay, now that that's out of the way and off my chest, thank you so much for all your lovely encouraging reviews. Also thank you to those who added this story to their favourites, followed it or simply read every chapter I post. It means a lot to me.**

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 **Chapter 4: Hide and Seek**

Marinette said nothing as she remained perfectly still; she was completely frozen with fear. Chat Noir didn't move, and she could still feel his warm breath radiating against her cheeks. She gripped the hammer even tighter in her hand, wondering if she would be able to swing it around in time before he could block it or dive out of the way. However, Marinette knew how fast Chat's reflexes were. No doubt he would easily be able to dodge or block her swing. That was probably what he was expecting to happen right now. She could practically sense the smirk on his face as he remained leaning in close, making her skin crawl.

An involuntary shudder ran up her spine and she swallowed back the lump that had formed in her throat. Just being near him…it was enough to send her intense hatred and anger bubbling to the surface. It coursed through her veins like hot lava, and she wanted nothing more in that moment than to be able to explode. To maybe get some justice. To swing that hammer around right now and wipe that creepy, manic grin off his face.

"I'm waiting," Chat sang in her ear, a deranged, impatient edge to his tone.

Marinette frowned, regaining some confidence, allowing her anger and her hatred to consume her almost entirely. What gave him the right to care what Marinette did the Ladybug statue? If anything, she would have thought that Chat would be happy about it. After all, he was the one who betrayed her and left her in this mess.

Through clenched teeth, Marinette finally managed to bring herself to speak. "None of your business."

"It is my business when you go around destroying statues of my lady." Chat leaned away, and Marinette closed her eyes as he began circling her like she was his prey. She refused to give him the satisfaction of showing any hint of fear.

" _Your_ lady?" Marinette questioned, feeling herself being pushed closer and closer to oblivion.

"Yes," Chat praised in a patronising tone, " _my_ lady."

Marinette wasn't sure what came over her, but in that moment, all she could do was burst out laughing. Why? She wasn't sure. She wasn't finding any of this even remotely funny. Hearing Chat say those words…referring to her as _his._ The kitty really had completely lost his mind.

She had always known that Chat Noir had harboured feelings for her. She just assumed that those had died before he decided to betray her. Obviously, those emotions had morphed into toxic feelings of possessiveness. Was it because of her power? His desire to take her miraculous?

Marinette forced back the memories that were beginning to surface. Was Chat still hunting for her miraculous, desiring to finish what he started all those years ago?

Marinette smiled sadly. He would never be able to use her miraculous now, no matter how much he tried.

Nobody could…

"I'm still waiting." Chat was growing more and more impatient as he began circling her faster.

"Why do you care so much about her statue when you didn't care about her when she was alive?" Marinette questioned with a small, smug smile on her face. Her smile only widened when she heard Chat Noir pause.

Marinette finally opened her eyes to gaze at Chat, who had stopped in front of her. He was staring down at her, his pupils dilating as his expression became murderous.

"I cared about her more than you could ever possibly imagine," Chat growled out, beginning to sound less human.

Marinette raised an eyebrow. "Then why betray her?" She found herself asking that question without thinking.

She had always been curious as to why Chat Noir turned on her that fateful night. It seemed it was something that he had planned for a while, but…why? How long had he been secretly siding with Hawkmoth? Had his feelings for her all just been a ploy to try and get close to her and take her miraculous? Marinette felt sick at the thought. She didn't know Chat anymore; she wouldn't put anything past him.

Chat Noir remained silent, his eyes growing more bloodthirsty, but Marinette refused to back down. She knew she was in a dangerous position, but honestly in that moment, she didn't care. For years she had wanted answers, and maybe this would be her one and only chance to get some. If she paid for that with her life, then so be it. At least then she wouldn't have to live out the rest of her life not knowing. Not knowing why one of her best friends, her partner, betrayed her and caused her demise.

"I'm waiting." Marinette mocked Chat's earlier crazy threats.

Again, he said nothing.

He continued to glare at her, his whole body completely tense with his back slightly hunched over as if he was going to pounce on her at any second.

Refusing to be intimidated, Marinette placed one hand on her hip, hammer still ready in the other hand, while she glared right back at him. Having to meet his eyes with her own brought her nothing but feelings of pure disgust. Looking at him made her feel sick. Made her feel as if millions of tiny insects were crawling across her skin. It felt like someone had reached into her ribcage and was squeezing at her broken heart. A heart that had been broken by the person she had trusted most in this world.

With that sensation, her mind suddenly split into two. One half was consumed by intense anger while the other was consumed by intense sorrow. The latter part had her wanting to wrap her arms around him again. To search for her dear friend that once resided behind those cold, murderous green eyes. However, the more rational part of her brain, the angry and guarded side was disgusted by those thoughts. She could never let Chat get near her again; she could never let him hurt her like that again.

Chat Noir appeared to snap out of whatever deep thought he also appeared to be having. Though his eyes were still full of anger and blood lust, the manic and playful glow returned, and he began circling her once again.

In response, Marinette gripped the hammer with both hands again, her frown deepening, her eyes locked on Chat's every move, daring him to even attempt to come any closer to her.

"No one has ever really stood up to me like this before," Chat gasped out, sounding like he was struggling not to laugh. "I like it. It's…fun."

"Well maybe if you didn't terrorise the city so much, people wouldn't be so afraid to stand up to you," Marinette hissed.

Chat merely smirked. "Awww do I scare my purrincess?"

He made a move to take a step towards her, but Marinette raised her hammer slightly, doing her best to glare at him as menacingly as possible. Chat Noir stopped in his tracks, letting out a deranged giggle.

"Don't do anything stupid now," Chat laughed, "I've heard of getting hammered, but this is ridiculous."

Marinette's face twisted from annoyance to disgust which just made Chat Noir laugh even more. It spooked Marinette how he was making puns and jokes like his old self, but now they just sounded…wrong.

Despite Chat's laughter, there was no friendly innocent humour behind it. Now he just sounded completely deranged and detached from reality. It just succeeded in making Marinette even angrier. How dare he still make jokes like that when he wasn't the Chat Noir she knew and loved anymore! This was a sick and twisted imposter who had clearly become corrupted, abusing the power his miraculous gave him.

"You're calling me stupid?" Marinette challenged. "Yet you're the one threatening and provoking a very angry girl with a hammer."

She raised the hammer higher in the air, hoping that Chat Noir would get the message and leave her alone. Clearly, she wasn't getting any answers out of him, and Marinette wasn't sure if she could stomach being in his presence any longer.

It was all becoming too much again…just like last night.

She could feel her chest constricting, and her heartrate skyrocketed, giving her painful palpitations. Her palms grew sweaty, and she became worried that she would lose her grip on the hammer. It was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe properly, and her fingers and toes began to tingle before feeling like they were growing numb.

Chat Noir caught sight of her raising the hammer higher, so he crouched down even further in response. His perfectly white teeth shone in the moonlight as he grinned at her sadistically. He let out a distorted purring noise which finally caused Marinette to twitch slightly in fear.

Chat reached his hands down to the ground and began slowly crawling towards her, causing Marinette to take a few automatic steps back which seemed to only spur Chat Noir on.

Seeing Chat Noir's grin widen to impossible proportions helped Marinette snap out of her fearful state.

This had been her job.

This had been her job ever since everything that had happened and now she was actually getting a chance to fulfil it.

Granted she was in her civilian form and she was rusty, but Marinette hopped that she could put up a good enough fight until she accomplished her task, or at least one of the new heroes reached them. No doubt they were out patrolling the city now, looking for Chat as at least one of them often did most nights.

Seeing the new-found determination in her face made Chat Noir purr again. "Does my purrincess want to play?"

 _Those words._

Marinette's eyes widened, and she was caught off guard just long enough for Chat Noir to easily pounce on her. He easily knocked her to the ground, and Marinette yelped as her head painfully collided with the cobbled ground beneath her.

Out of instinct, Marinette held the hammer out in front of her, using the handle as a bar to prevent Chat Noir getting any closer. His chest became blocked by the wooden handle, causing him to let out a grunt. He still had her pinned down though, and that caused him to smirk down at her.

Allowing her anger and hatred to take control, Marinette let out an unintelligent shriek as she managed to bring her knees up and launch him over her head.

Chat yelped up in surprise, and Marinette quickly used this opportunity to stand back up again. Knowing she had little hope right now of managing to put up a good fight, Marinette took off running as fast as she could, her feet loudly pounding against the tiled floor.

"Don't let her get away!" Hawkmoth bellowed, and Ladybug's heart lurched into her throat. She could hear Chat Noir behind her, groaning and trying to regain his senses.

Ladybug barged through the double doors so hard, she could feel small splinters of wood stabbing into her skin. The back of her head was beginning to twinge slightly from her head colliding with the floor.

The mansion was almost completely dark, making it difficult for her to see. She gulped, knowing that this would give Chat Noir an advantage over her.

Adrien…where was Adrien?!

She had to find him and get them both out of there!

The fire outside was already beginning to roar ferociously, and she soon knew that the whole mansion would be up in flames. He probably didn't even know his own father was Hawkmoth. It broke Ladybug's heart, but she knew that she had to tell him the truth.

Managing to remember which room Adrien's was, Ladybug didn't even hesitate in kicking the door down. She wasn't sure how far behind her Chat Noir had been, so she wasn't willing to waste time with pleasantries.

Adrien's room was also dark, and Ladybug began looking around frantically. Had he heard the commotion? Had he found somewhere to hide?

"Adrien?" Ladybug whispered as loudly as she could, cupping her hands around her mouth, hiding around the corner from the door in case Chat Noir walked by and spotted her.

There was no response, and Ladybug began to grow increasingly worried. Had he hidden somewhere else in the house? She had to find him!

Briefly gazing out of Adrien's large bedroom window, Ladybug gasped in horror and fear as a wall of fire and smoke completely blocked off the view of the city of Paris. It turned everything a brilliant shade of orange, and Ladybug was beginning to feel the heat, even from behind the glass.

" _Bugaboo,_ " Chat Noir sang from nearby, " _Where are you?_ "

Ladybug struggled to contain her gasp at how different Chat Noir was sounding now. This wasn't her kitty anymore. Perhaps he had never been her kitty in the first place. Maybe he had always been like this and everything had just been an act. How could he have done this to her? How could their friendship have meant so little to him?

Ladybug felt like she was going to be sick.

There was no time though.

Looking around quickly, Ladybug leapt into the air and grabbed hold of Adrien's climbing wall just above the door, holding her breath and praying with everything that she had that Chat Noir wouldn't spot her. She could hear his footsteps slowly approaching as if he was taunting her.

Ladybug held on tightly, gritting her teeth together and watching the door below her. A large, black shadow entered the room and soon enough, the owner of the shadow made his way inside. Chat Noir paused by the entrance, and Ladybug willed him with her mind to move.

His ear twitched backwards, and Ladybug completely froze.

Did he know she was there?

Chat Noir placed his hands on his hips and looked from side to side dramatically.

Ladybug's eyes narrowed, wondering if he was taunting her.

He stepped further into Adrien's bedroom and Ladybug saw her chance.

Dropping down from the wall, Ladybug then darted out of the door, being as light on her feet as possible. Surprisingly, she didn't hear Chat Noir pursuing her from behind. Not that she was complaining. She needed to find Adrien and fast!

Becoming desperate, Ladybug blindly barged into every room she came across in the Agreste mansion, looking for any sign of Adrien. In every room she went in, there was none, and an intense fear began to engulf Ladybug as she wondered where the love of her life could possibly be.

Had he been injured? Was he just that good at hiding?

But she had called his name in every room she had entered, so surely he would've recognised that Ladybug was there and was going to help him get out?

Panicking, Ladybug tugged at her twin ponytails and ran out of the dining room and into the next room. It appeared to be the kitchen. It was large and much fancier than hers, and this room was almost completely shrouded in darkness apart from the light Ladybug was letting in as she stood in the doorway.

"Adrien?" Ladybug called out, still trying hard not to be too loud so Chat Noir wouldn't figure out where she was.

Again, there was no response, and Ladybug grew increasingly worried – if that was even possible at this point.

Frantically, Ladybug began almost tearing the cupboard doors off their hinges in a desperate attempt to maybe find Adrien hiding inside one of them. The adrenaline in her body began to be pumped around at a faster pace at the realisation that once again, Adrien was no where in sight.

Tears welled up in Ladybug's eyes as many terrifying images assaulted her mind.

What if Hawkmoth had got hold of him? He wouldn't harm his own son, surely?

Memories of all the close calls that Adrien had had with akumas ran through Ladybug's head, and she clasped both hands over her mouth in horror.

It was a chance she couldn't – wouldn't – take.

Giving the kitchen one final once over, Ladybug yelped when she caught sight of Chat Noir standing in the doorway, leaning one arm casually against the doorframe while he repeatedly tossed his baton in the air and caught it in his other hand.

Ladybug watched him in horror as she wondered how long he had been standing there. Backing away and not taking her eyes off him, Ladybug opened the last cupboard door again, feeling her way inside in the hopes of coming into contact with a warm body huddled up the corner.

Nothing.

"What are you doing?" Chat's expression suddenly turned confused and frantic.

He…he sounded almost like his old self again…

"What do you mean?" Ladybug asked, feeling confused, frightened, and angry.

"You're supposed be –" Chat Noir quickly cut himself off before crouching down and glaring at her.

"Where's Adrien?" Ladybug demanded.

Chat Noir blinked.

"What have you done with him?" Ladybug grabbed hold of her yo-yo and began spinning it in a circle. She glared at Chat Noir with all the hatred she could muster. If Chat had harmed one hair on his head then she would show no mercy. It hurt her deeply enough to know that he was now working for Hawkmoth and had led to her into this trap, but if he had hurt Adrien…Ladybug wasn't sure she would be able to control her actions.

Chat Noir smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Ladybug shrieked angrily, unable to stop herself from violently swinging her yo-yo towards her old partner. Chat easily dodged it though which caused Ladybug to let out another angry cry, swinging her yo-yo again as Chat jumped on top of one of the counters.

The string of her yo-yo sent pots and pans crashing the ground, the clatter echoing so loudly through the kitchen, it caused Ladybug's ears to hurt and begin ringing slightly. Chat Noir continued to smirk at her, and this time, all Ladybug could see was red.

With another incoherent, angry yell, Ladybug charged towards him and leapt forward. Chat's eyes widened before Ladybug crashed into him, knocking him down onto the surface of the counter. Ladybug straddled his waist, pinning his hands down above his head as he thrashed around, struggling to break free. Ladybug glared down at him and he looked back up at her.

Ladybug smiled in satisfaction to see a glimmer of fear behind his now cold, green eyes.

"TELL ME WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH HIM, YOU TRAITOR!" Ladybug screamed at him, fear and anger engulfing her.

Images of Adrien lying in a pool of his own blood, cold and alone somewhere, having been attacked by Chat Noir. His own father not caring about his wellbeing and leaving his son to die, only caring about obtaining her miraculous for his own evil uses.

This was all her fault.

She should have spotted that there was something off about Chat Noir these past few days. She should have expected to have been lead into a trap. She should have listened to her instincts about Gabriel Agreste being Hawkmoth. She should have done a better job at protecting Paris…protecting Adrien…

The fear behind Chat Noir's eyes vanished, replaced with nothing but a cold apathy, and he relaxed underneath her, closing his eyes as if he was sunbathing. This infuriated Ladybug even more and she tightened her grip on his wrists, crushing them beneath her grip. Chat Noir didn't even wince though.

"Oh, just stashed him somewhere." Chat grinned innocently at her.

Without thinking, Ladybug let go of his wrists before clasping them around Chat's neck. He instantly began choking under her vice like grip. He looked completely stunned, and to be honest, so was Ladybug. But right now, all she cared about was making sure that Adrien was safe. She would figure out a way to sort Chat out later and come up with a better plan to defeat Hawkmoth, figuring it would be easier now that she knew who he was. All she had to do was find Master Fu and then maybe he could help her. Help her stop Hawkmoth. Help her bring her kitty back.

"TELL ME WHERE HE IS!" Ladybug screamed at him again, her fingers now acting as tiny boa constrictors, cutting off Chat Noir's air supply one tighter squeeze at a time.

That tactic didn't seem to be working though. Ladybug didn't have it in her to continue squeezing, and her panic further worsened as Chat's face began to gradually turn a deep shade of purple, staring at her fearfully, his eyes seemingly silently pleading with her, unable to speak.

Ladybug's eyes darted towards Chat Noir's ring. If he truly had turned to the dark side then she needed to cut off his source of power. It was what Master Fu would want her to do.

As if sensing exactly what she was thinking, with his hands now free, Chat reached up with both his arms and legs, throwing Ladybug off him. Her back painfully collided with the beautifully detailed tiled wall of the kitchen, some of the tiles smashing and cracking loudly beneath the force.

Ladybug grunted, her vision blurring slightly as she slid back down to the ground, her knees bruising as she did so. Fighting the urge to just give up and allow herself to lose consciousness, Ladybug's vision finally cleared to see Chat Noir stalking towards her. The deranged, playful smirk that had adorned his face was now gone and replaced with nothing but cold-hearted seriousness and a menacing frown. His eyes were dull, and Ladybug felt like she was looking at a complete stranger. It shattered her heart into a million pieces. Her partner…perhaps she was in denial before, but…she had truly lost him…

"Give up, Ladybug," he growled at her, "now, hand me your miraculous."

"Never!" Ladybug gasped out, still feeling winded from her collision with the wall. "I would rather die! You should know that."

Chat Noir's smile returned, and Ladybug wasted no time in darting out of the room. She turned a corner, panicking when she heard Chat Noir calmly walking after her. Ladybug found herself back in the main hall, and she began desperately looking around, trying to come up with an idea.

Chat Noir's footsteps grew closer and closer, each one echoing around the room, making Ladybug feel like she was surrounded on all sides. With a frantic gasp, Ladybug scaled up one of the marble pillars, climbing until her head was almost touching the ceiling. Chat Noir entered the room and frustratingly paused in the centre, just like he had done in Adrien's bedroom.

Ladybug frowned, really beginning to feel like he could just sense her presence and was only prolonging the moment for sick kicks. That thought nearly caused Ladybug to lose her balance and slip, but she caught herself just in time. She slowly released one of her arms from the pillar, keeping her eyes glued to Chat Noir as she reached for her yo-yo, ready to attack as soon as he looked up at her.

He remained as still as a statue though, his back remaining turned to her, his black, leather cat ears remaining turned in her general direction. Ladybug held her breath, her whole body completely tense as she waited to see what Chat Noir would do next. Small chills ran down her spine and a single droplet of sweat trickled down her forehead.

Chat still did not move.

With each painfully slow second that ticked by, Ladybug's heart rate increased to impossible speeds. The sight of Chat behaving like this both terrified and pained her. She needed to find Adrien, and any time she spent playing this sick, twisted game of hide and seek with Chat just left the love of her life in terrible danger.

Growing impatiently, Ladybug decided it was best to risk it. She launched her yo-yo towards the still frozen body of Chat Noir to which he abruptly raised his baton and deflected her strike without even turning around.

Ladybug gulped, her grip slipping even more. Swallowing her fear, she let go and fell to the floor before Chat Noir finally turned his head around to look at her. Ignoring him, Ladybug began attempting to run to the other side of the mansion to look for Adrien, no longer caring that Chat Noir would follow her, instead only caring about getting Adrien out of there alive.

Yo-yo kept in hand, she kept on running not daring to look back.

However, Ladybug screamed when her ankles collided painfully with hard metal. She instantly toppled to the floor with a thud, and Ladybug screamed again, both in pain and frustration as the realisation set in that she might have just twisted her ankle. In the process of falling, she lost her grip on her yo-yo, watching in horror as it continued to slide down the hall and out of her reach.

Ladybug looked back in terror, seeing that it was Chat Noir's baton she had tripped over. He had extended it to match the width of the hall and tossed it beneath her while she had been running.

Chat Noir didn't react to seeing her in pain on the floor, and that sight caused Ladybug's heart to nearly burst in her chest from the pain and betrayal.

He really did no longer care about her.

Ladybug wasn't sure why he kept surprising her with his behaviour; for some reason it just wasn't sinking in that he had turned on her. Ladybug felt like she was living in some sort of nightmare. Only much to her horror, she wasn't waking up.

This was real.

The worst had happened.

Ladybug turned back around and began to try and crawl forward and reach for her yo-yo. However, her attempts were futile. The worst part was, she knew that. Ladybug yelped as she felt Chat Noir grab her by the legs and easily pulled her further away from her weapon. She kicked and screamed as best as she could, all the while Chat remained cold and uncaring as he dragged her back towards Hawkmoth's lair. She tried to arch her back, tried kicking him, but everything hurt too much, and Chat was just so much stronger than her right now.

"NOOOO!" Ladybug screamed, begging and pleading, knowing what was coming next. She clutched at her earrings as Chat continued to drag her along the floor.

"NOOOO!" Marinette screamed again, bringing her hands away from her ears, feeling the crushing weight of the hammer as it leaned against her chest. She instantly grabbed hold of it again and pulled herself up off the ground just as Chat Noir did so behind her.

He turned around to face her, looking completely baffled and uneasy for a split second before plastering a sadistic smirk on his face.

"I love a good cat fight," he purred before leaping towards her again.

Marinette gasped and flung herself to one side, clumsily catching herself before she fell over. Without looking back, she began running as fast as could. Where to, she didn't know. All she knew was that she wanted to get away from Chat and never see him again.

She wasn't even paying attention to her surroundings, just the rapid pounding of her feet against the ground. Her lungs burned and protested for her to stop and rest. Her muscles were beginning to ache, and a fine layer of sweat began to coat her skin. It had been a long time since she had put her body under such strain.

Marinette didn't have time to worry about that though. The sound of an approaching, angry Chat Noir was proof enough of that.

Running down some stone steps, Marinette gasped as the ground beneath her suddenly ended. She was able to stop herself just in time before she fell into the Seine. Losing her balance as her toes hung off the edge, Marinette managed to right herself before turning, ready to run down the side of the river.

However, she was instantly halted by Chat Noir landing gracefully in front of her in a crouched position before he stood up straight, regarding her with a playful, amused expression.

" _Trapped like a rat_."

Marinette gasped.

Those words again.

More same words he had said to her that night.

Ladybug watched as Chat Noir and Hawkmoth began stalking towards her, ready to take her miraculous.

No!

She had to protect it!

She couldn't let them take it!

Marinette shook her head, her vision morphing between Hawkmoth's liar and the quiet, secluded pathway by the river.

Ladybug backed away from them, determined that they would never take her earrings and use them for their evil purposes.

That's when Marinette squealed.

Her vision finally settled, revealing the startled face of Chat Noir before all she could see was the starry night sky above her. Her heart leapt into her throat at the sudden sensation of falling backwards, and her stomach formed one gigantic knot.

It was the cold that hit her first before she felt herself being dragged down down down.

Instinctively, she held her breath as soon as she felt her back hit the cold surface of the water. Everywhere around her was black, and she was just barely able to make out the dim moon and streetlights reflecting on the surface of the water.

She continued to plunge downwards, the freezing water around her feeling like tiny ice crystals stabbing against her skin. Her brain and lungs screamed at her for air.

Marinette stretched out her arms and kicked her legs in an attempt to begin swimming to the surface, but she didn't move anywhere. Marinette then suddenly became aware of how heavy she felt, as if her entire body was suddenly made of lead.

Down, down she continued to sink, just like a rock, and Marinette could feel herself beginning to lose consciousness as she continued to determinedly hold her breath.

Was this truly it now?

Was this how it was really going to end for her?

Marinette barely registered the sound a splash above her as she closed her eyes, smiling peacefully, ready to accept her long overdue fate.

* * *

 **This chapter was so hard to write. I was staring at a blank page for hours until I finally figured it out properly. Not to mention I've had no sleep and I really needed to get this chapter out today as I'm pretty busy the rest of the week. So, I hope the forcefulness hasn't shown up. I'm sorry if it has. A special thank you to my boyfriend who helps me come with pretty much all of Chat Noir's god-awful puns *shudders***

 **Anyway, feel free to let me know what you guys think. It helps me keep writing. If you have any questions about what I had to say at the beginning of the chapter then please don't hesitate to let me know in a review or PM me. I hope you're all well and I'll see you soon. I'm gunna go pass out now.**


	5. Dangerous Obsession

**Welcome back! I hope you guys have all been having a lovely week and that you're all doing well. Thank you so much for the awesome reviews and for adding this story to favourites and alerts. It always really helps me out and inspires me to keep writing.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Dangerous Obsession**

Chat Noir almost felt sick at the sight before him. There was Marinette, one of his oldest friends, staring at him with the same terror filled expression as Ladybug had done when Hawkmoth had…he couldn't even bring himself to think about it. Her blue eyes had been so wide and full of fear, confusion and betrayal.

He felt like he was back there right now. Only this wasn't a flashback or a nightmare.

This was very much real.

He watched, frozen in place by the similarity of the situation, as Marinette's back hit the dark water of the river Seine. Water was sent flying up above her in all directions, and in the blink of an eye, she had vanished beneath the depths. The water splashed and rippled back into place, and soon it was as if nothing had ever happened.

There was no sign of her.

Chat was sure that Marinette could swim, but as he kept waiting and waiting, there was no hint of her surfacing. He should turn around. This was the girl who had destroyed the statue of his lady for seemingly no good reason. She had gotten what was coming to her. Really, it was none of his business what happened to her. Marinette was just someone he used to know at school. Someone he would very occasionally hang out with. She was nothing special. Just some girl. Just some girl who had heartlessly vandalised his lady's monument…a girl who had the nerve to bring up what happened.

Clenching his fists tightly besides him as the seconds ticked by, Chat Noir gritted his teeth and glared down at the water, willing Marinette to surface on her own. Then he could just leave and get on with the rest of his business for the night.

However, the water remained still and calm. Chat Noir still remained frozen though, his feet rooted in place as he fought off the painful memories of that fateful night. Oh how much Marinette had looked like his lady in that moment…the exact same facial expression…

A single tear trickled down Chat Noir's cheek.

Suddenly, it was like Chat Noir felt like his body was on autopilot. Stretching his arms out and leaping forward, Chat dived in after her, easily piercing through the dark water, his night vision granting him relatively clear visibility under the water. He swam down, deeper under the water. Finally, he managed to catch sight of something slowly sinking into the water beneath him.

Chat swam faster, and his lungs began to burn, protesting and demanding oxygen. He ignored the sensation though, finally catching up to Marinette's sinking form. Chat reached down and grabbed hold of her arm, pulling her up towards him. Her eyes were closed, and she had a peaceful smile on her face.

Was…was this how _she_ had looked just before she died? Had she peacefully accepted her fate before she fell into the inferno beneath her?

Shaking his head, Chat wrapped one of his arms around Marinette's waist and immediately began kicking for the surface. He pushed Marinette up ahead of him so she would reach the surface first and be able to breathe. Chat surfaced not long after her, and felt himself beginning to panic slightly when he felt no movement from the girl in his arms.

Had he taken too long to jump in after her?

Her thick clothes felt heavy as he dragged them both along which made Chat finally understand why she couldn't swim to the surface. It was a good thing he was so strong.

Wrapping his hands under Marinette's arms, he hoisted her out of the water and onto the cobbled pathway next to the river. Chat climbed out as well, gasping slightly for air before he crawled towards Marinette's still limp form.

Had he failed again? Had he failed to protect someone?

No!

This was becoming way too much for him to bare! First his lady and now his princess. He was the cause of both of their demises. Never in his life had he intended for anyone to get killed.

 _Cough cough splutter._

Chat Noir sighed with relief as Marinette began coughing violently. He leaned down and tilted his head to listen to her chest. Using his enhanced hearing, Chat was able to tell that there was no water in her lungs. However, a cold hand soon gripped his face and pushed him away from her. He growled and pushed her hand away, though calmed down once he realised that Marinette probably didn't even know she had done it.

Her eyes were still closed, and she twisted her body around so she was on her hands and knees, continuing to cough violently and gasp for air. Before he could stop himself, Chat found himself rubbing her back gently, and he let out another quiet sigh of relief when Marinette's eyes finally fluttered open.

She looked so…so vulnerable right now.

Chat knew he should have left by now, but for some reason, he just couldn't bring himself to do so, just like the previous night. There was just something about Marinette…it was if she was some sort of powerful magnet. But…why? There was nothing remotely special about this girl. She was a cute little thing and was always kind to him when they had attended school together.

Yet right now, she was like some sort of brain parasite, invading his mind and controlling his thoughts; he was utterly consumed by her. She was possessing him in every way just like his lady had done.

In the moment he had dived into the water after her, it was like he had been staring at his lady. He just had to protect her. He had to keep her safe. Just like all those times he had gladly, and without hesitation, taken those hits for his lady when they had been in battle together. That very same feeling had consumed him when he had watched Marinette fall into the water.

He had to keep her safe. He had to protect her. He had to keep her safe. Safe. Protect.

His mind was beginning to run wild, spinning uncontrollably.

No!

Marinette was not his lady!

She was not going to be some sick substitute!

No!

Chat gripped his blond locks tightly, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth as he fought against his instincts and subconscious which were screaming at him. Keep safe. Protect. _Don't make the same mistake again._

The sound of Marinette gasping snapped Chat Noir out of his dangerous inner turmoil. He turned to look at her with a wild expression on his face. Marinette shuffled away from him, staring at him with wide eyes, seemingly not even daring to blink.

Chat Noir grinned and clutched at his heart. "Is that the thanks I get for saving you?"

Marinette looked horrified and confused. " _You…saved me?_ "

Chat's playful, manic grin widened. "Well, if you'd rather I just put you back." He made a move towards her, pretending he was about to pick her up. He was lying, of course, but playing around with Marinette could be so much fun. She was so easy to get riled up. Just like…

"No!" Marinette yelled at him, shuffling further away from him. She tried to glare at him, to intimidate him, but it was futile. Her shivering form hindered any attempt she made to do so. She was unable to hide the sound of her chattering teeth, and she curled into a tight ball, making herself look incredibly small and – dare Chat Noir say it – adorable.

Chat Noir frowned at her as he watched her. She looked so tiny and frail right now, like he could just tuck her small form under his arm like a football. He was starting to feel the chill himself slightly, though clearly not as much as Marinette. She didn't have an extra durable superhero suit to protect her like he did. Her teeth continued to chatter, and tremors rolled off her body. Her dull blue eyes stared straight ahead as if she was refusing to look at him.

"Th-thank y-you."

"What?" Chat Noir's eyes widened. He was sure he just heard gratitude come from her lips. Her lips moved as he heard those words, but he still couldn't quite believe it.

"Th-th-thank you."

"You're…welcome…" Chat responded slowly.

So, Marinette still had some of that kind, lovely spirit still inside her after all. She wasn't completely a shell of her former self. He once again found himself wondering what Marinette could have possibly been through. She had gone to a decent, normal school, had good friends who looked out for her, had loving parents and, if he remembered correctly, a promising future in the fashion industry. Chat Noir couldn't help but be curious. It must have been bad to have her nearly reaching his levels of insanity.

The way he had watched her destroy his lady's statue, the pure hatred and disgust on her face. The brave and almost suicidal way she had defended herself against him. Threatening him with a _hammer_ for crying out loud. This wasn't the Marinette he had known at school. He didn't expect his friends to have remained the same after all these years, but man.

He couldn't remember Nino mentioning anything about her, though come to think of it, Chat had never bothered to ask too much about anything regarding his old life. Nino would only go as far as talking about Alya which Chat tolerated as she was still his girlfriend. He just tried to tune out the reminders as much as possible. Not to mention there was the way she had fought back…it was almost like she had been in fights before. Her moves reminded him so much of _hers,_ though Marinette's movements were clumsier.

Chat Noir knew he really should be leaving at this point. He had done more than he had needed to at this point; he had saved her. So…why couldn't he just leave? It felt like an invisible force was keeping him locked in place. His eyes kept gravitating towards Marinette's face…a face so similar to _hers._ She was as white as a sheet and her lips were beginning to gradually turn blue. He really should leave. But also really should get her home.

Without thinking, Chat Noir abruptly stood up before he reached down and easily scooped Marinette up into his arms. He smirked as Marinette let out a loud squeak of surprise as her arms and legs began to flail around. He just gripped her tighter though, and much to his amusement, that just seemed to annoy and confuse her even more.

"What are you doing?!" Marinette shrieked.

"Taking you home," Chat replied as if it was obvious.

"Put me down!" Marinette demanded. "I can look after myself!"

"Okay, seen as you're adamant that you don't need my help, I'll just put you back." Chat chuckled as he reached out his arms and held Marinette over the river. She let out a brief scream of terror, clinging onto his arm in a death grip that was surprisingly strong. Closing her eyes tightly shut, Marinette continued to cling onto him, clenching her teeth, bracing herself for impact with the water again.

Chat Noir laughed and pulled her back against his chest again. Marinette sensed this and opened her eyes again, glaring up at Chat, her blue eyes now burning in rage. Chat Noir ignored her though, and immediately took off, running through the narrower streets, leaping and bouncing off buildings.

This didn't seem to faze Marinette too much which shocked him a little bit. Though she was looking a little uncomfortable, folding her arms stubbornly across her chest and refusing to look at him. She was still worryingly pale, and Chat Noir could feel her shivering in his arms. He quickened his pace, finally landing on Marinette's balcony.

Marinette shifted in his arms, obviously expecting to be placed back down on the ground. Chat had other ideas though.

Gasping and glaring at him as they kept walking, Marinette started thrashing around in his arms again, but his grip was too tight and she was still weak from the cold. This frustrated Marinette even more which only increased Chat Noir's amusement.

Shifting her weight onto one arm, he pulled the trapdoor open and leapt down into her bedroom. Marinette kicked around violently, and this time, Chat Noir relented and put her down.

"Thanks for taking me home, now please leave," Marinette said quickly, wrapping her completely drenched jacket tighter around herself. She was still shivering, and her skin was still white, but she did seem to be warming up slightly now that she was back in her room. Her room wasn't exactly warm, but it was better than outside.

"Nah, I think I'll stay." Chat Noir chuckled as he sat down on her chaise lounge, leaning back and relaxing, wrapping his arms above his head. "At least until I'm convinced you're not going to pass out from hypothermia."

Marinette glowered at him, her eye twitching slightly.

Chat Noir continued to watch, and frowned when she didn't move. It seemed Marinette had frozen in the centre of the room, too angry to move. Chat sighed in frustration at how childish Marinette was being right now. He got up and his eyes began scanning her room.

"Fine, if you're not going to sort yourself out, _I will,_ " he threatened. "For starters, you need to get out of those clothes."

Marinette squealed and instantly wrapped her arms around herself, staring at him in horror and anger.

Chat Noir immediately caught on to the direction her mind went, and for once, he genuinely laughed. It was strange. He couldn't remember the last time he had properly laughed like this. A laugh of genuine humour and delight. The feeling felt so foreign to him now, yet somehow, Marinette had managed to spark it.

Maybe hanging around this girl wasn't such a bad idea after all. She made him feel…almost whole again. Of course, nothing would ever fill the gaping hole _she_ had left in his chest, but maybe…there was a place for someone in there?

Chat Noir violently shook his head. What on earth was he thinking? All because Marinette had actually managed to make him genuinely laugh.

"I…I didn't mean it…like that," Chat managed to gasp out through the occasional fit of laughter, "although we could do it like that if you want to, I don't mind." He winked at her.

Marinette turned a deep shade of red just like she used to do when he knew her back in school. She growled and looked away, her bottom lip protruding slightly in an angry pout before her eyes widened slightly and she turned back around to look at him.

"Y-you're…sounding almost like…your old self," Marinette said slowly and quietly.

Chat Noir froze and frowned at her. "Let's not get carried away," he answered flatly before looking around her room again.

"So, where do you keep your clean clothes?" Chat asked as his eyes zeroed in on the only drawers in her room he could find. "In here?"

Chat Noir reached out and was about to open the top drawer of her desk.

"NO!" Marinette screamed and lunged towards him.

Caught off guard, Chat Noir let go of the drawer just as Marinette grabbed hold of his arm and yanked it further away. Her eyes were wide and wild, and her chest heaved as she began panting slightly.

Chat Noir watched her in alarm, slowly prying his arm out of Marinette's death grip. Marinette didn't blink, not seeming to have noticed Chat pulling his arm away from her. He frowned at her before looking back at the drawer and shrugging his shoulders, figuring she kept a diary or underwear in there or something.

"Okaaay then." Was the only response he could think of as he slowly backed away, leaving Marinette to calm down from…whatever just happened.

Right now he was just more concerned with making sure she didn't get hypothermia than finding out the reason she just freaked out. That's when Chat Noir realised that she was still wearing her thick jacket which was still soaking wet. Since Marinette was still standing as still as a statue, making no move to take it off like she should be doing, Chat reached out and grabbed the top button.

Marinette immediately snapped out of it. She smacked his hand away and leapt back as if he had given her an electric shock.

"Marinette, I'm not trying anything dodgy if that's what you think," Chat growled at her in frustration, "you need to take your jacket off or you'll catch your death."

"Leave me alone!" Marinette hissed. "I can look after myself."

Chat rolled his eyes. "Clearly."

Marinette huffed. "I'm going to the bathroom, and by the time I get back, I want you gone," she threatened, opening up the trapdoor that led downstairs before slamming it shut behind her.

Chat smirked. Yeah…like that was gunna happen.

He moved to sit back down on her chaise lounge and relaxed again, waiting for Marinette to come back up and inevitably start screaming at him again. She had always been a weird girl, but never to this extent.

Chat Noir took this opportunity to gaze around her room. From what he could remember, he had only been in Marinette's room once when they were both practicing for that gaming tournament. That felt like a lifetime ago now. Chat sighed sadly, refusing to have a breakdown here. That was all he needed: Marinette seeing him and telling everyone that really underneath he was just a depressed, grieving mess that still had a soft side.

He wanted Paris to fear him. He wanted Paris to hate him. It was what he deserved.

Her room was still very much dominated by the colour pink. Literally almost everything was pink, though Chat Noir didn't know why he expected anything different. Everything she had owned at school was pink. Most of her things were still in place, though he frowned when he realised there were hardly any designs around her room anymore. He was sure last time he was here there were unfinished projects scattered about everywhere: dresses, hats, almost everything. Now there was nothing.

Strange. Had she stashed them neatly somewhere else? Or – even more astounding and unbelievable – had she given up on designing? It would be such a shame if she had. Marinette had such extraordinary talent. Maybe as Adrien he could offer her a job…that was…just as soon as he could force himself outside as Adrien.

That's when Chat Noir noticed small pieces of paper scattered around her bedroom floor, most of it was piled by her desk. Curious, Chat got up and had a look, picking up the largest piece he would find. It looked like some sort of application form. What was Marinette doing tearing these things up? Her behaviour just got weirder and weirder.

The door to her room opened again, and Marinette walked back in wearing pyjamas and a robe on top. Her dark hair was now wrapped in a towel, and she let out a shriek when she saw that he was still in her room.

He casually waved at her, smirking at her response. She was just too much fun to mess with.

"What are you still doing here?!" Marinette hissed. "I told you to leave!"

"Yeah, you did. But I decided not to listen."

Marinette glared at him. "If getting under people's skin was a career, you'd be a millionaire by now."

Chat Noir chuckled. Little did she know, he was a millionaire. Just not from that.

"What's all this paper?" Chat asked curiously, gesturing around him.

"Don't think you can change the subject. I want you to leave."

"I _might_ consider leaving if you answer my question," Chat teased, grinning at her.

"You're insane!"

Chat rolled his eyes. "So everybody keeps saying. Give a cat a bad name. Though I'm sure _you_ could give my reputation a run for its money with the way you acted today."

Marinette bit her lip and looked away. It looked like she was trying with every fibre of her being to keep herself calm in that moment.

Chat watched her, waiting for a response before he sighed and closed his eyes. "Look, you don't have to tell me what's got you acting all weird. Trust me, I know how hard these things can be to talk about. Just don't keep going out at night…or destroy anymore statues. Because next time…I might not feel like being as nice."

He knew he was clinging onto the edge of oblivion. He knew he was a ticking time bomb. It wouldn't be long now before his sanity slipped completely. No matter how hard he fought, Chat knew he was fighting a losing battle. Soon, he wouldn't have enough energy left in him to hang on, and when that happened…Paris would never be safe again. Hawkmoth would likely be a school yard bully compared to him.

Part of him felt like he wouldn't do anything to harm Marinette. It was as if there was some invisible force shield around her, warping his mind, causing him to be strangely infatuated with her, protecting her from harm. He just wasn't sure whether that could withstand his slip into the unknown. Marinette certainly wasn't helping that fact either by constantly provoking him and being out late at night. It was as if the stupid girl had a death wish.

He looked back up to see that Marinette was staring at him with wide eyes before she frowned when their eyes met. Chat Noir shot her a confused look in response.

"Why did you save me?" Marinette asked, narrowing her eyes.

Chat shrugged nonchalantly before picking up a tube of lip-gloss and fiddling with it in his hands. "Felt like it I guess."

Marinette folded her arms across her chest. "I don't believe that."

"Believe what you want," Chat snapped at her.

"Have I hit a nerve?"

"I'd stop if I were you, princess," Chat warned menacingly.

"I'll stop as soon as you leave me alone."

Chat growled and ran his hands over his face in frustration, trying his hardest to keep himself calm, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Marinette just had to insist on pushing his buttons. _That's what made her so fascinating though._

No!

Marinette was right. He did need to leave. He should have been long gone at this point.

So, why wasn't he?

He needed to make sure Marinette was okay, that she was safe, just like he had failed to do with…no! Marinette wasn't _her._ The sooner Chat understood that fact, the better. Marinette's life was none of his business. But if that was the case, then why did she completely dominate his thoughts? Every inch of his brain, there was nothing but Marinette.

What sort of spell had she put on him? It made his heart pulsate painfully in his chest as it tried to re-start itself after being dead and unused in so long. The hole _she_ had left in his chest began to throb. Chat found himself having to grab hold of Marinette's desk for balance and he clutched hold of his head as it felt like it was beginning to snap.

"Chat?" Marinette asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"What are you doing to me, princess?" Chat demanded in a crazed tone, running his hands through his hair as his breathing became laboured.

He felt it. His last finger was clinging onto the edge of the abyss of insanity. Marinette had done this to him. The way she talked, the way she looked, the way she moved, it was just like _her!_ But yet, Marinette still managed to maintain her own unique charm and feistiness. She was so much fun. She was so different. So…enticing…

"What am _I_ doing to _you?_ " Marinette repeated incredulously.

Chat Noir stared at her, and there must have been something in his expression as Marinette automatically took a step back.

She was afraid.

Good. She should be.

Chat Noir had no idea what was happening to him right now. Was this him finally falling into the abyss? He wasn't sure, but he felt like he was falling into s _omething._ Only this time, he was dragging Marinette down with him, clinging to her like a lifeline. She was so warm in his arms. She had shown him a brief moment of kindness by the river. She had genuinely thanked him. The old Marinette was still in there somewhere. Maybe he could attempt to bring the old Marinette back out of her. In return, he could satisfy this strange urge to be near her, to watch her, to protect her from everything in the world.

For once, he could succeed in a mission. He wouldn't fail this time. Marinette would be his to watch over. She could be someone who could be as close as Chat Noir could get to his lady.

Marinette frowned at him when he didn't respond, continuing only to stare at her. "You need to leave."

"No," Chat Noir simply responded, panicking at the thought of being away from her.

Marinette stormed towards him, standing on her tip-toes to look him in the eye, her expression nothing but pure hatred and disgust. "Thank you for saving me, but I would really appreciate it if you left me alone and never came back."

Chat Noir didn't move.

"Don't you have a city to terrorise? Another Ladybug to betray?"

 _Snap._

Chat's eyes widened, and his pupils dilated into incredibly narrow slits. His whole body became tense, and soon, without realising, he had grabbed hold of Marinette and pushed her tightly against the wall, pressing her against it with his body. Marinette gasped and leaned her head away from him as best as she could, glaring at him. This girl was making his life even more of a living hell than it already was. He smirked down at her and leaned towards her to whisper in her ear.

"What did I say about stopping what you were doing?" Chat hissed.

"You don't scare me," Marinette insisted, "if anything, I pity you. You used to be an amazing hero…an amazing friend, and now look at you. If Ladybug was alive, she'd be disgusted with you… _take it from me._ "

Chat growled loudly. "You don't know anything about her."

"And you do?" Marinette questioned. "She was a superhero with a secret identity. Ladybug wasn't the real her. The real girl was behind the mask, yet no one seems to care about her. Not even you. So tell me…what was her favourite colour? Her favourite food? What were her hopes, her dreams, her aspirations, her likes, her dislikes, her fears?"

Chat Noir stared at her.

Marinette frowned. "Exactly."

"I know," Chat began, "I know that when she smiled, she could light up the entire room. I know that deep down, she doubted herself as a hero, but always put on a brave face for the sake of Paris. I know that she cared a lot about other people. She respected everyone and gave everyone a chance. She was the bravest and most intelligent person I have ever met. She was…she was amazing…" he trailed off with a small smile on his face. It felt weirdly good to get all of that off his chest to someone.

Marinette swallowed and stared at him with wide eyes.

Chat Noir turned back to look at her, his genuine smile once again replaced by a playful smirk. "You're fun to play with, Marinette. You bring something out of me that no one has in long time. You're a magnet for trouble, and this time I will succeed where I failed before."

"W-what are you talking about?" She still sounded as though she was in shock.

"You've totally consumed me, _purrincess,_ " Chat Noir purred into her ear. "You're all I can think about right now, whether you like it or not."

Marinette cringed and forced her arms up to try and push him away from her. She succeeded a little, and Chat Noir backed off slightly, but he easily grabbed hold of her arms, holding them still in his strong grip.

"Why?" Marinette demanded, trying to yank her arms out of his grip.

Chat smirked. "Because you're so much fun."

Marinette shook her head before mustering up the most intimidating glare she could managed. It didn't work; Chat Noir merely laughed at her.

"Get out!" Marinette screamed at him, thrashing about even more in his grip.

Chat Noir laughed again before he let go of her. Marinette instantly backed away from him, her back colliding with her bedroom wall as she tried to put as much space between them as possible. Chat Noir slowly backed away from her with a devious smirk on his face before he gracefully bowed.

"As you wish princess." He chuckled. "But know this little danger magnet: I will always be in the shadows. I _will_ be keeping you safe. I _will_ be watching you."

Marinette looked completely freaked out, and with one final chuckle at her facial expression, Chat Noir jumped up and exited through the door that led to her balcony. Chat Noir glanced back one last time before he extended his baton and began flying over the rooftops of Paris again, ready to go on the hunt.

However, little did Chat Noir know, a certain sly fox hero was watching him with narrowed, suspicious eyes.

* * *

 **I'm worried that you guys might have to wait longer than a week this time for the next update. I'll try my best, but I've got a lot going on at the moment. I have one last assignment I need to do, sort graduation stuff out, find a job, it's my birthday next week** _ **and**_ **I've got to go into hospital which is always fun. I just hope things turn out okay for me on the latter problem eeek. Like I said, I'll try my best to update as soon as possible, but please be patient for those reasons.**

 **Freak outs aside, feel free to let me know what you guys think of this chapter in a review. It's always a huge help and I really appreciate the feedback. Fingers crossed I'll see you guys soon.**


	6. Cruel Illusions

**I have returned! So sorry about the longer wait for this chapter but thank you so much for being patient with me. I guess I should reveal the truth of what happened as I've been a bit secretive about it, just saying I needed to go into hospital. Long story short, I had a little bit of a cancer scare and had to go into hospital for some tests, so yeah, it was pretty terrifying. Turns out, I do have a tumour, but it's not dangerous or cancerous, so I'm fine. Epic amounts of relief! I had a final essay to write on top of that as well; you can imagine how hard that was. But yeah, maybe this can be a lessen to all of you guys as well. Check your bodies. Any suspicious lumps and bumps, get them checked and don't just brush them off. Better safe than sorry. This has been a Pixie PSA.**

 **Now that that's out of the way, thank you so much for being so supportive guys! Thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes, it was really lovely of you. Also holy moly, thank you so much for all of the reviews! Feel free to keep 'em coming, it really spurs me on to write. This story has already reached over 100 favourites and 200 followers so wow! Thank you!**

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 **Chapter 6: Cruel Illusions**

The further he ran and leapt away from her, the more the gaping hole in Chat Noir's chest seemed to pulsate and throb. As he continued to leap from one roof to another, he brought a hand up to clutch at his chest, hoping in vain that it would somehow sooth the pain.

Why was he feeling like this?

Marinette was nothing to him. It was like something powerful and dark had overcome him in Marinette's room. She was stomping on the fingers that helped prevent him from falling into oblivion. He should hate her…he did hate her…didn't he? It felt like the fabric of his mind had been torn, his already unstable mind becoming even more fragmented.

Like flesh eating bacteria, images of Marinette poured into the wound of his mind, infecting it, and festering in every inch of his brain, eating away at him. Once again, it felt like there was an invisible rope tied to him. A metal hook was wrapped around the end, inserting itself into the void of his chest and painfully latching onto his dead, withered heart. It pulled, and it pulled, and Chat Noir wanted to listen. He wanted to give in and let it yank him back towards Marinette.

He said he would be watching her, and some twisted part of him was telling him to do so. To go back there and never let her out of his sight. Yet the more rational part of his brain was demanding to know why he should care.

However, that rational voice was becoming weaker and quieter. It was barely a whisper over the menacing snarling and roaring that demanded he go back. To be near Marinette. To soothe the aching.

But what was so special about Marinette? What had she done to him? This urge to protect, the immense fear of failing to do so like he had done with his lady…where had it come from?

He was so drawn to her, it was like she was a powerful magnet. Had he been starved of his lady for so long that the unstable part of his mind had now latched onto a girl who looked and almost acted just like her? Was it because he could almost relate to her?

Marinette had clearly been through a lot and had changed a great deal…just like he had.

She looked almost as broken as he felt. That shouldn't be right. Marinette had done nothing wrong as far as he knew. She couldn't have. She was always so sweet and innocent at school. Marinette deserved to be fixed. Chat Noir didn't. Chat Noir had brought this all on himself and it was a punishment he was willing to accept.

Shaking his head in the hopes of dispelling Marinette from his mind, Chat Noir leapt down from the roof of the building he was running on, down onto the streets in the hopes of finding some prey to release his frustration.

That idea was revealed short lived though, when a small figure dropped to the ground in front of him, catching him slightly off guard before he smirked.

Rena Rouge slowly rose up from her crouched landing position, standing up straight and clutching her flute tightly in her hand. She glared at Chat Noir with narrowed, suspicious eyes. Chat merely continued to smirk at her, folding his arms across his chest as he kept his eyes glued to her every movement.

"Well this is a _purrleasant_ surprise." Chat chuckled. "My little fox friend trying to chase my tail again."

"I am no friend of yours!" Rena Rouge snapped.

"Touchy touchy." Chat's chuckle morphed into unhinged laughter.

"I'll be touchy thumpy in a minute." The fox hero gripped her flute with both hands, crouching, ready for a fight.

"So what do I owe the pleasure this fine evening? Oh no no no, wait!" Chat giggled like an excited child. "You want me to hand over my miraculous."

Rena Rouge smirked. "Got it in one, alley cat."

Chat Noir pretended to think.

"Nah, I don't really feel like it," he replied as he began to slowly circle her, his cat-like green eyes glowing ominously in the darkened, deserted Parisian street. His footsteps as he paced around his foe echoed all the way down the street.

Rena Rouge remained stiff and calm, her hazel eyes following his every move as he continued to circle her. Chat had to admit that he admired how brave Rena Rouge had become. A few years ago, she nearly fell to pieces at the sight of him, unsure and inexperienced as a hero, taken off guard by just how much Chat Noir had changed. Scaring her like that had often worked to Chat's advantage, but now it worked less and less.

"So where's the rest of your gang?" Chat inquired, still circling her.

"It's just me tonight." Rena Rouge glared at him. "Though you haven't exactly been on your own most of the night, have you?"

This caused Chat Noir to freeze in place. He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously.

"What are you talking about?"

"What were you doing with Marinette?" Rena Rouge demanded, clenching her teeth together as her glare turned more menacing.

Chat Noir remained unintimidated, though he was caught off guard by the fox hero's question. How did she know that he had spent most of the night with Marinette?

That thought caused a growl to rumble deep in his chest. Rena Rouge had been near Marinette. She had been watching them both. Spying on them. Spying on Marinette. His thoughts went wild. It was like a ferocious beast was clawing at the cage of his mind, yanking and pushing at the bars, desperate to break free and sink its claws and teeth into Rena Rouge for daring to do such a thing to his princess.

"What's the matter?" Rena Rouge teased. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Shut up!" Chat Noir snarled as he struggled to battle against the less rational part of his mind, against the caged beast within.

Maybe he _should_ unleash it. After all, Rena Rouge had been spying on them. She had been nothing but a thorn in his side since he had begun terrorising Paris. The fox hero definitely more than deserved to face his wrath.

There was a sane, old part of him that always held him back though. Since his lady's – it was like his mind had split in half. One half fought for dominance and control over his body, and each side whispered in his ears, giving him opposite advice. Chat Noir wasn't sure how much longer it would be before his whole body was ripped in half by this. Right now, as he stared at Rena Rouge, he felt like that might very well happen.

"I saw everything, Chat," Rena Rouge continued.

"So I gathered."

"You…you saved her."

Chat said nothing.

"Why?"

Chat Noir crouched down even lower, placing his hands against the cold concrete, ready to pounce. His pupils dilated, and his eyes continued to glow as they followed Rena Rouge's every movement. The fox hero only took one automatic step back as she kept her glare firmly placed on him. She looked beyond angry, yet there was a curious light in her eyes that Chat Noir didn't like. She sure was full of questions tonight. It was starting to bore and annoy him.

"Stay away from, Marinette," Rena Rouge suddenly threatened darkly. "How do you even know her anyway?"

"How do _you_?" Chat Noir retorted, snapping his teeth together to glare at her sinisterly.

Rena Rouge glowered at him.

Chat Noir was far from happy that Rena Rouge seemed to know Marinette. Panicked thoughts began to swirl around in his head like a giant whirlpool, pulling him under and drowning him.

What if Rena Rouge now tried to hide Marinette from him? What if she tried to take her away from him?

No!

He couldn't let that happen!

In those few moments that they had spent together since seeing each other again after all those years, Chat had already found himself hooked on her. It was like the mere sight of her, her mere presence was like a drug that somehow managed to cover most of the giant hole in his chest, protecting it from the elements, offering him shelter. He needed that! He couldn't lose that! Rena Rouge would take his Marinette away from him!

"You can't take her from me!" Chat Noir suddenly growled menacingly.

Rena Rouge blinked. "What?"

Chat Noir began stalking slowly towards her on all fours, and the fox hero slowly backed away for every step forward he took. Her eyes were starting to look slightly confused and panicked, though for the most part, she managed to keep her composure.

 _Let's see if we can break that,_ Chat Noir thought as he smirked to himself.

"If you go anywhere near Marinette, you, little fox, will be _culled._ "

"And if _you_ go anyway near Marinette, I'll put your nine lives to the test."

Chat Noir chuckled humourlessly. "Your threats are almost as bad as your puns."

Then he leapt at her.

He took immense satisfaction in the fearful sharp inhale she took as he easily had her pinned to the ground. Chat was about to swipe at her with his claws, but Rena Rouge took full advantage of one of her arms now being free. She reached up and punched him as hard as she could across the face. Chat growled as the force knocked him off her, before he rolled a few feet away.

The fox hero swiftly jumped back onto her feet and clutched at her flute, smiling at him in satisfaction.

"That's for my nose yesterday," she hissed.

Chat Noir reached a hand up towards his throbbing nose and lightly wiped his finger under it before bringing it away from his face to look at it. The thick blood dripped down between his fingers, trickling down the back of his hand before small little droplets splashed on the ground below him. It felt like his nose was out of place – dislocated perhaps. He never knew Rena Rouge could throw such a good punch.

Chat Noir smirked at her which caused Rena Rouge's smile to falter slightly. He reached up with both hands and snapped his nose back into place, not once wincing at the pain. That pain was nothing compared to how he felt at the thought of Rena Rouge preventing him from seeing Marinette.

He was going to make sure she didn't get the chance.

"Big mistake," Chat growled before he leapt towards her again.

The fox hero just barely managed to dodge him, stumbling backwards before turning around to run down the street. Chat followed, easily catching up with her. Pushing forward again, Chat Noir just missed properly pouncing on her, instead grabbing hold of her leg as she pushed it backwards to sprint away.

He gripped her limb tightly, and Rena Rouge yelped as she was tripped over. Her body collided with the ground with a loud thud, and her second of disorientation allowed Chat Noir to easily climb over her. He pinned her legs down with the weight of his own, and reached up to pin her arms to the ground. Rena Rouge fought against his vice-like grip, shuffling one of her arms up as she began struggling to reach for the ring on his finger.

"No no no." Chat chuckled, scolding her lightly as if she was a mere child.

Yanking on her arm, Rena Rouge yelled out in pain as Chat Noir brought her arm around to pin it against her back, keeping his ring out of reach as he kept her other arm pinned down against the road. Not willing to make the same mistake again, Chat slowly brought one of his knees up, letting it hover just above her leg. Rena Rouge kicked with her now free leg, but it wasn't getting her anywhere. He had her pinned stomach down against the road, rendering her own knees and legs useless against him.

Satisfied she wasn't going to break free, Chat Noir pinned the arm he hand behind her back with his knee, freeing his hand. Rena Rouge gasped in alarm as he brushed her ponytail out of the way, her red and white hair now sprawled out on the ground next to her. Chat Noir's grin widened as he reached for her neck, dragging his claws lightly against her dark skin before hooking his fingers around the string of her necklace.

"NO!" Rena Rouge screamed, using the last ounce of her strength to pull the hand which contained her flute towards her. She pressed her lips against her flute and began to play a short tune. Chat Noir ignored it and began to pull on her necklace, ready to rip it off from around her neck.

"Chat Noir!"

He froze.

That voice.

That beautiful, familiar voice.

No!

"Chat Noir!" She called for him again, sounding more pained this time.

He knew it was a trick.

He knew it was an illusion.

And yet…he couldn't help but bring himself to look up.

The need to see her face, to confirm the source of the voice incinerated every cell in his body, consuming and taking control of his free will. Green eyes met blue eyes. Blue eyes that were surrounded by a red mask, decorated with black spots. Rosy cheeks tinted her living flesh, her dark raven hair, held up in pigtails blew around in the light, night breeze. A bright smile graced her lips as their eyes met, and Chat gasped.

His heart erupted, restarting and thumping erratically in his chest, bringing a feeling of life back into him. Chat's eyes hungrily traced every inch of her body. She was alive. She was standing right there! Her arms reached out for him, and Chat's grip on the fox hero below him weakened.

That was all it took.

In the blink of an eye, Ladybug vanished, scattering into tiny atoms to then be blown away by the breeze. Still frozen, Chat Noir suddenly felt all of the oxygen being forcibly expelled from his body by a sharp pressure in his chest. Rena Rouge had reached her arm up to elbow him as hard as she could in the chest.

With both arms now free, the fox hero pushed herself up, sending Chat Noir flying backwards. He grunted as he fell back against the ground before he shook his head to snap himself out of it. His heart once again thudded to an abrupt stop in his chest, once again becoming a dead, useless organ, withering away to nothing more than thin, fragile scraps of muscle. The hole in his chest violently ripped itself open again, the force almost causing Chat Noir to stagger slightly as he stared at Rena Rouge with a cold, dead expression.

Though her miraculous beeped, signalling her time limit, the fox hero barely reacted to it. Instead, she kept her wide, panicked eyes firmly locked on Chat Noir. She knew what she had just done. Chat Noir knew that she knew. But still, that wouldn't stop him.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Chat screamed at the top of his lungs, his pained cries echoing throughout the streets of Paris.

Rena Rouge gasped and instantly began running away.

Chat Noir gave chase, his vision becoming blinded by tears as his claws ached to sink into Rena Rouge and make her pay for what she just did. His whole chest felt like it was on fire, and it throbbed as if it was being squeezed to a point where it felt like his ribcage might shatter.

Chat was so blinded and distracted by the pain that he barely noticed Rena Rouge jump up onto a nearby building. When he finally realised, it was too late. Rena Rouge had managed to put enough distance between them for her to disappear from sight.

Chat Noir slowed to a stop, heaving and quivering as he struggled to erase that image from his mind. His lady…smiling at him and opening her arms out for him.

His stomach twisted and entangled itself, and the world around him began to spin. Chat staggered over to the nearest building and leaned against it before he lurched forward and dry heaved, coughing and choking before spitting out nothing but hot stomach acid that burned his throat and nose. There was nothing in him, and once his stomach finally seemed to accept that fact, he was able to stop heaving.

Gasping for air, Chat Noir looked up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Tears finally spilled over his eyes as he continued to gasp for air. His chest and throat felt tight, as if a large snake had coiled around him, squeezing him, suffocating him. Chat's fingers and toes tingled as he struggled to get his breathing under control.

His lady…that's what she could have been like today. She could have been standing right there in front of him today, happy and smiling…maybe even in love with him…if he hadn't done what he had. He was the reason his lady could not be like that right now…the reason she was… _gone._

Letting out a loud, animalistic scream, Chat Noir pulled his arm back before smashing the window of the small shop he had been leaning against. The alarm immediately began blaring, making Chat Noir's ears ring but he didn't care.

 _The pain._

He needed to get rid of the pain.

It was too much!

Continuing to scream and yell, Chat Noir began smashing up the entire street. He threw rocks through windows, smashed up shops, and knocked down trees. As his hands been to throb from pain, he switched to using his baton, breaking everything, and causing absolute choas. That was all he was good for, right? He possessed the miraculous of bad luck and destruction, so why not use it to cause what it was meant to cause?

He'd destroyed his own life, destroyed his father, destroyed his mother, destroyed Paris, destroyed everything he had ever believed in…destroyed… _Ladybug._

His whole life was nothing but endless destruction.

Chat Noir weakly smashed one last window before standing still and hunching over to catch his breath. Glass was scattered across the entire street, and alarms blared yet no one dared to show themselves. Not a single civilian or even the police.

They were all terrified of him. As they should be.

Chat Noir…who brought nothing but destruction. It was best that people were scared and stayed away from him. He was a monster. Marinette was right…his lady would be disgusted with him. She would hate him for what he had done…she had hated him that night. The night she… _died…_ her last moments had been filled with nothing but hatred and fear. She died believing that he…

It was all his fault.

Maybe if he had just talked to her before that night, things would have turned out differently. If he hadn't been so blinded by pride, by rage, and by greed…none of this would have happened. Ladybug would have been here right now, by his side, just like Rena Rouge's illusion. Except that illusion would have been reality.

Now the pain was all he had left of her.

A small shuffling sound in the distance caused Chat Noir's ear to twitch, and he instantly snapped out of his self-loathing state. He looked up and glanced around the empty street before the movement of a shadowy figure in the distance caught his attention. A sinister smirk now re-plastered onto his face as he began stalking towards the figure.

As he grew closer, Chat could see that it was a man, and it looked like he had just finished robbing a store. It appeared he was carrying a few expensive items of technology: phones, tablets and a few small laptops. He was dressed all in black, though Chat's night vision provided the man with very little camouflage.

Chat Noir continued to stalk towards him, the criminal scum not noticing him as he tried his best to walk away carrying handfuls of expensive and fragile equipment which he kept nearly dropping. The man just managed to catch one of the phones before it fell, and that's when Chat decided to make his presence known.

He began to tut, and the criminal froze.

"Naughty naughty," Chat Noir taunted, revealing himself from the shadows.

Both Chat and the thief gasped.

"You!" Chat growled as he recognised him as the man who had tried to attack Marinette the previous night.

He actually dared to show his face again at night after what happened? His face was still badly beaten and scratched up, though Chat Noir could still recognise the piece of filth. At the sight of Chat Noir recognising him, the thief dropped all the things he had stolen and began sprinting down the street, screaming for help.

Chat Noir smirked, letting him continue to run and get a head start. He stretched out his arms and cracked his fingers before crouching down and sprinting after him. Chat easily caught up and pounced, digging his claws into the man's shoulders, making him scream in agony. Chat pushed the man forward, knocking him to the ground, his head cracking against the concrete causing Chat Noir to smirk in satisfaction. Pulling his claws out, Chat grabbed the man by his black sweater and twisted him around so he was facing him. Blood began to pour from a fresh cut on the criminal's forehead as he struggled to break free from Chat Noir's grasp.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face again." Chat Noir laughed excitedly. "No worries though, I've been dying to sink my claws into someone after the night I've had, and you'll do just the trick. At least this time," Chat Noir leaned down to whisper in his ear, "there'll be no young girls to save your sorry ass."

The man screamed. "No, please!"

Without hesitation, Chat Noir punched him in the jaw, hearing the bone crack as his fist connected with it. This man had wanted to hurt Marinette. For that, he would pay. Like he said, Marinette wouldn't be around to stop him this time. He'd been dying to unleash some of his anger on someone, and seen as Rena Rouge had managed to slip away, this was the next best thing.

At the thought of Rena Rouge, the image of the illusion of _her_ polluted his mind again. That sly, pest of a fox. How dare she do that?! Tonight she may have managed to get away, but next time he would be more prepared, and he would catch her. He would catch her and make her pay for what she did tonight.

Spurred on by those thoughts, Chat Noir smirked down at the criminal scum beneath him, watching happily as the man tried to cower away from him, the side of his jaw starting to turn red and swell up after Chat Noir had punched it so viciously.

Chat ran a claw lightly over the man's cheek where the previous cut from the night before remained. It looked like the man had tried to stitch it up himself. With a devious smirk, Chat dug the claw of his index finger into the already wounded flesh. The man scream and thrashed around as his wound was re-opened. Chat easily cut through the thin stitches as he dragged his finger down, the flesh feeling like he was cutting through butter.

"Getting sick kicks through stealing and attacking innocent girls in the night," Chat purred as he tilted his head curiously to one side, pulling his finger out of the now deeper cut on the man's cheek. Blood stained his black claws, but he didn't care. In fact, he enjoyed it. This piece of scum was getting nothing less than he deserved.

"What must your mother think of you?" Chat Noir continued to taunt.

"And what would Ladybug think if she was alive right now?"

Chat Noir froze, his eyes widening. Was everyone just actively trying to push his buttons tonight?

One swift punch to the face soon had the man screaming and crying out for help again.

"Care to repeat that?!" Chat Noir snarled as he grabbed the man by the collar of his sweater and pulled him up off the ground slightly so Chat could get right into his face.

"N-no." The man's speech was muffled by fear and a now broken jaw.

"Are you sure?!" Chat's eyes were wild, his pupils large, barely any green iris visible beneath the fiery rage that scolded people with a mere glance. "Because I could have sworn you just said something about an old partner of mine?"

"N-no!"

"No?" Chat repeated, sounding less and less sane. "Are you sure?"

"Y-yes!"

"LIAR!" Chat screamed, his voice echoing and bouncing between the tall buildings surrounding them. "I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO KEEP SECRETS. I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO TELL LIES. IT ONLY ENDS IN FIRE!"

The man looked confused, but continued to try and shrink away from him. As Chat's obvious grip on sanity slipped, he began to thrash about even more, one hand reaching down, trying to grab something in his pocket. His knife probably, Chat Noir thought. He still retained the cut on his cheek from when he had tried it last night.

Not this time. This time he would make sure he finished what he started.

Growling, Chat Noir swung at him again, punching him across the nose. Blood squirted out, splattering onto the ground next to them and the man cried out again. The cracking sound of the bone and cartilage was music to Chat's ears. Chat continued to punch and scratch, unleashing most of his anger on that scrap of humanity that had tried to probably do much worse to Marinette the night before.

The sky eventually began to grow lighter. The man had stopped screaming and was now lying limp and unconscious on the ground, covered from head to toe in blood. There was so much blood, his injuries were now barely visible.

Chat Noir stood up, looking down at the body in pure disgust. He then looked towards the rising sun and grimaced. It would be light soon. His kwami would likely be getting slightly tired, as was he. People would be getting up and going about their daily lives soon. Something he would never get to indulge in again – being normal.

Oh, how wonderful that must feel. So many people took normality for granted, and it made him sick. They didn't know what it was like to live with never ending guilt…never ending trauma and anguish. They didn't know what it was like to have to constantly battle against their own mind. They didn't know what it was like to lose that fight. To be totally and utterly consumed with dark feelings of never ending hopelessness and intense anger that could never be quenched.

Chat Noir resented them. He had resented their normal lives when he was a young teenager. Now, he resented them even more.

With a bitter and angry sigh, Chat Noir bent down, gripping the unconscious man's thick locks of hair before dragging him along the road behind him as he walked. A long trail of blood followed him until he reached a small, nearby police station. Chat Noir easily tossed the man over his shoulder by his hair, and he landed with a loud thump at the main entrance of the police station where the officers unlucky enough to be landed with the night shift were still cowering inside.

"Oops," Chat Noir said, completely monotone, when he realised that he had thrown the man harder than originally intended.

Satisfied at his little present waiting for the police, Chat Noir extended his baton and began hopping and leaping from rooftop to rooftop, heading home to the day. Once he arrived back at his mansion, he looked around to make sure no one had seen before heading inside. He released his transformation, replacing Chat Noir with a dishevelled looking Adrien Agreste.

Plagg never said a word, and Adrien could feel his bright green eyes watching his every move as he hovered next to him, floating slowly forward as Adrien trudged upstairs towards his bedroom.

Thoughts of Marinette and his lady kept whirling around in his head, battering his mind to the point where it felt like his brain had turned to mush inside his skull. The sight of Rena Rouge's illusion seemed to have torn his mind apart even more.

Maybe it was best just to let go and fall into oblivion. What was the point in fighting on when you had nothing to fight for? When everyone and everything just seemed to keep kicking you while you were down? If the rest of the universe wasn't going to make any effort, then why should Adrien?

Finally reaching his room in his large, empty house, Adrien tossed Plagg some cheese without sparing his kwami a glance. Plagg's loud chewing were the only sounds that filled the room. His eyes felt dry, and his throat still burned and felt sore from his earlier dry heaving. His chest throbbed and pulsating like it always did, and Adrien gripped the gaping hole with his hand as he collapsed onto his bed, burying his face under his sheets and pillows.

Despite closing his eyes, his mind continued to spin. It felt like the whole bed was rotating beneath him, like the Earth was falling to one side, and at any moment, he would be sent sliding to the other side of his room. His tired eyes began to burn, his whole body weak and drained after the night he had endured.

Opening his eyes in the hopes of reassuring his brain that the world wasn't tilting onto its side, Adrien was shocked to suddenly find himself outside in his garden at night. The whole area was burnt black. The once beautiful green space that surrounded the Agreste mansion had been completely wiped out, replaced with nothing but black soot and hot, white ash. There no stars twinkling above, no moon to shine down and illuminate the area. There was nothing above him but dark clouds – or was it smoke? Everywhere was deserted.

Adrien looked back at his home…or the house he was supposed to call home anyway. It had been burnt to the ground. A few pillars and columns still stuck up from the ground, but most of the walls had disappeared completely. There was nothing left but the foundation. A few swirls of smoke continued to dance into the cold, night air which already felt thick and heavy. Adrien coughed, finding it difficult to breathe.

That's when he noticed them.

Groups of ladybugs were scattering away from an area that was towards the side of his house, climbing over the debris and ash that covered the ground. With a deep feeling of dread, Adrien couldn't help but head in the direction the ladybugs were fleeing from. He carefully stepped over them, trying his best not to stand on and squash any of them.

He reached the far side of his mansion, and paused before he stepped around the corner. It was like there was a voice whispering in his ear, begging him not look, not to go around and see what was on the other side.

But he had to know. He had to see. He needed confirmation…

Slowly stepping around the corner, Adrien gasped at the sight, his legs almost giving way beneath him. A body was sprawled out beneath the window of what had been his father's lair. It was covered in glass, and surrounded by a pool of blood.

Forcing his legs forward, Adrien kept walking closer and closer, feeling his stomach twist into knots, and like his heart was trying to pound its way out of his chest. He felt sick. The red suit that was barely visible beneath the ash and debris gave it away.

" _No_ ," Adrien chocked out as he fell to his knees and began pushing debris off her body.

Her body was twisted at an odd angle, parts of her suit had been ripped and burnt, the intense heat of the fire had actually managed to penetrate through the tough material.

The blood…so much blood.

Where the suit had torn, the skin had been singed, leaving nothing but burnt and exposed red muscle.

Adrien pushed the last of the debris away to reveal her face, and at that sight, Adrien stumbled backward and fell over, tripping over a piece of charred wood.

Her mask was gone. Her blue eyes had rolled back into her head. However, instead of the face of Ladybug, or the face of a stranger, it the lifeless face of Marinette.

Adrien screamed and bolted upright in bed, panting and sweating. He was instantly blinded by the bright mid-morning sun shining directly into his room, and he immediately held an arm up to shield his eyes.

Despite the familiar sight of his room around him, the image of the lifeless body of Marinette still lay on the floor in front of him, and Adrien screamed again, pulling his sheets up to cover his eyes. He struggled to catch his breath, too scared to come out from under his sheets like a frightened little child.

No! He couldn't have lost Marinette as well! Not after everything! He couldn't have failed her as well!

The minutes ticked by, and Adrien knew that he had to peer out from under his sheets sooner or later. He could hear Plagg snoring from the corner of his room. The birds were chirping outside, and he could hear the sound of traffic on the nearby street. Everything sounded so normal. His house was no longer just charred remains, and the day outside was bright and sunny, no hint of a smoke covered sky.

Very slowly, Adrien peeked his head out, letting his eyes peer over the edges of his sheets, forcing himself with every ounce of his willpower to gaze back down at his bedroom floor.

Marinette's lifeless body had disappeared.

A dream. It had all just been a dream.

Those thoughts did nothing to calm Adrien's panicked thoughts though. His mind raced, thinking of every possible harm that could come to Marinette while he wasn't around to protect her. He wanted – no – _needed_ to see her.

With his mind quickly made up, Adrien leapt out of bed and darted towards Plagg. He picked his little kwami up by his tail and shook him. Plagg grunted in annoyance, but his eyes remained stubbornly closed.

"Plagg!" Adrien yelled desperate. "I need to transform!"

"Night time already?" Plagg stirred, lazily opening one eye.

"No, but there's something I need to do."

Plagg looked him up and down. "You're gonna go after that girl, aren't you?"

Adrien frowned at him before dropping him back down on the little cushion he slept on. He wasn't about to justify himself to his lazy, uncaring kwami.

Clenching his fist, Adrien summoned his transformation, much the disgruntlement of his kwami who screamed, yelled and protested the whole time he was being drawn into the ring.

Chat Noir smirked as he stalked towards his bedroom window to gaze out at the city. "Don't worry, my princess. _I'm coming to find you._ "

* * *

 **Okay, so now that I hopefully have the scary stuff in my life currently out of the way, updating should return to about once or twice a week. Of course, barring nothing else happens, touch wood. Feel free to let me know what your thoughts in a review, it always helps me out immensely. I'll see you soon. Hope you guys have a nice weekend.**


	7. Falling to Pieces

**Hi everyone and welcome back! I can't thank you guys enough for how supportive you've been. I'm so lucky to have such nice and kind readers like you guys. Thank you so much for all of the awesome reviews. I read every single one of them and take your opinions on board. I really appreciate you guys letting me know your thoughts.**

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Falling to Pieces**

The cool water of the bath blissfully soothed Marinette's skin as she laid back and closed her eyes. Tiny waves and ripples splashed over her as she continued to just let herself float and relax. With her eyes closed, Marinette felt like she was in the middle of a vast ocean, floating along for what felt like an eternity. She would be more than happy to float here forever.

Nothing could hurt her here.

There would be nothing but an endless floating sensation; peaceful tranquillity. The salty water tingled against her damaged but finally healing skin. Her throat burned slightly from swallowing any and every potion Master Fu forced down her throat. Her body was starting to look like her own again. Her skin was repairing itself at last, her hair was growing back, and she could finally walk around again.

Marinette just wished the same could be said for everything else.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

Ever since she had arrived here, Marinette could barely bring herself to say a word. It felt like she was now living in a never-ending nightmare. Maybe she did die that night. This was a version of hell that had been made especially for her; a punishment for failing the city of Paris. If this _was_ hell, it was certainly doing a good job of torturing her.

Marinette had no idea how long she had been here. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. Ever since that night, time seemed to almost stand still. She had little to no idea what was going on in the outside world. To be honest, Marinette wasn't even sure she wanted to know the answer to that question.

Sighing, Marinette sunk herself deeper into the water, just leaving her nose above the surface so she could breathe. Her eyes remained closed, longing to remain floating across that endless ocean which would carry her away from reality.

As tempting as that sounded, Marinette knew she had a job to do. She had to fix the mess that she had allowed to be created. She should have kept a better eye on Chat. Something had clearly been bothering him for days, yet she never pressed him on the issue, just assuming that he would come to her in his own time like he typically did.

Never in a million years did she see it coming.

The endless night terrors were a constant reminder that she hadn't been smart enough, that she had failed Paris…she had failed Chat.

Why? Why would he do that to her? Why would he betray her after everything that had been through together?

Whispers filled Marinette's ears, the ghosts of the promises Chat Noir had made to her. The ocean Marinette was floating on turned blood red, and the sky above her turned dark and stormy as waves threatened to pull her under and drown her.

After everything they had been to each other. The way he had held her that night…it never meant anything. He was just reeling her in. It had all been a ploy. A ploy to get his hands on her miraculous.

Marinette could feel her heart shattering into millions of tiny pieces once again at the thought. The vast amounts of questions that whirled around in her mind were starting to make her feel dizzy. But she would get her chance to ask him soon. Master Fu was more than happy with the progress she was making. Now it was only a matter of time.

Opening her eyes once again, Marinette screamed, only for the scream to come out muffed under the water, sending bubbles racing to the surface as she did so. Chat Noir sat on the edge of the bath tub, leering over her and grinning down at her.

Out of reflex, Marinette's arms reached up to cover her bare chest before she began trying to squirm as far away from him as possible. Chat's manic grin only widened as he reached out with one hand and placed it on her head.

Marinette noticed what he was doing much too late.

She attempted to suck in a deep breath, accidentally inhaling a mouthful of water instead. As if she had been placed under a vice, Marinette's throat squeezed itself shut as water entered her lungs. Her vision went blurry, and her arms thrashed around attempting to grip onto the hand that Chat Noir still had placed on her head, forcing her down under the water. Panic completely engulfed Marinette. No longer did she care about covering her nude body, instead, she began scratching and clawing at Chat Noir's arm in the hopes of making him let go. Her nails barely made a dent in Chat's tough leather suit as he continued to hold her under.

Marinette's vision began to blur even more. Her head began pounding as it became starved of oxygen, and Marinette's attack on Chat Noir's arm grew weaker and weaker. Her throat and lungs burned as if they had been rubbed against sandpaper.

This was it.

Chat Noir had returned to finish what he had started. It seemed he might have succeeded as Marinette's body involuntarily tried to gasp for air, filling her lungs with even more water, and causing her throat to constrict even more painfully. At this, her eyes began drifting closed, and she felt the weight of Chat Noir's hand leave her head only to feel his fingers softly stroking against her cheek before she felt herself become complete paralysed.

She couldn't move.

She couldn't feel.

She was floating in absolute nothingness.

" _Marinette,_ " a soft voice gently called.

Marinette's eyes snapped open, and she stared up at the dark, smoke clouded sky above her. The air was so thick, it was causing her to choke violently. Sitting up the hopes of clearing her lungs better, Marinette looked around in panic, her fear only growing once she realised where she was: the Agreste mansion. What was left of it anyway. The whole mansion had been burnt to the ground, leaving nothing but ashes and charred remains.

" _Marinette,_ " the weak, high pitched voice called again.

"Tikki?" Marinette managed to squeak out.

" _You've given up on me_."

"No!" Marinette called out, her eyes scanning her surroundings wildly for any sign of her beloved kwami. "Never!"

" _Everyday I wither away just a little bit more. I don't know how much longer I can hold on, Marinette._ "

Tears cascaded down Marinette's cheeks like vast waterfalls before a violent sob escaped her lips. "I keep trying, Tikki! I've tried everything! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S BROKEN?!"

" _Broken things can always be fixed._ "

Clenching her teeth together, Marinette balled her hands into fists by her sides, digging her nails so hard into the palms of her hands she ended up drawing blood. She didn't care though. This was crazy. She was going crazy. Tikki was gone. Marinette had long accepted the likelihood that her kwami was never coming back. Lost that night along with herself. Balance was lost. Creation had been lost. Now there was nothing but destruction. Endless destruction.

"Not always," Marinette mumbled in response to Tikki.

" _Marinette, please don't give up. You never give up._ "

Marinette collapsed onto her knees and began sobbing into her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Tikki. This is all my fault."

" _Marinette._ " Tikki's voice grew more distant, sounding much weaker.

"Tikki!" Marinette screamed. "I love you, Tikki! Please don't leave me!"

The red kwami's voice along with her own screams continued to echo around her head as her eyes once again snapped open, coming face to face with the metal railings of her bed. The pillow beneath her was wet, and Marinette brought a hand up to her face to wipe her cheeks. She had been crying in her sleep again.

She'd had a nightmare about Tikki _again._ Although these nightmares were now becoming few and far between, as if Tikki really was getting weaker.

Sitting up, Marinette looked suspiciously over to the drawer of her desk, narrowing her eyes. She stared at it for a while before sighing and wiping the rest of the tears from her cheeks. You would think that after all of these years, Marinette would be used to having nightmares by now. Marinette could not even find peace and refuge in sleep. Her mind had to torment her then as well.

Marinette finally managed to get her bearings slightly, her heart slowing to a steadier rhythm, and her breathing had calmed down at last. The sun shining in through her window felt warm against her face. A few years ago, that sight and feeling would have had Marinette jumping out of bed, excited for the day. She would have grabbed her sketchbook and headed towards the park to draw some ideas for some designs.

That was the old Marinette though.

The hollow shell that had replaced her just stared out of the window apathetically. She had no will to do anything. No energy. It was like there was a heavy weight sat on her shoulders, sapping everything out of her. The bright rays of the sun could not penetrate the dark cloud that constantly hung over her.

Getting over her nightmares, Marinette gasped as the memories of the night before came flooding back, pushing past the weak barriers of her mind, and gushing its way to the forefront, washing her away. Her breathing hitched again, feeling Chat's warm body pressed against hers again as if he was still there right that very second. The intense, mad, crazed look in his green eyes had her cringing back in fear, wrapping her arms around herself in attempt to control her shivers. Her heart felt like a hand was wrapped tightly around it, squeezing her vital organ, causing her to gasp and splutter.

Chat Noir had saved her. He had taken her home and made sure she was okay, despite her stubborn, hostile protests.

Marinette nearly found herself melting. There were moments when…he almost seemed like his old self. It was sickening, it taunted her, it disgusted her, it…had her longing for the good old days.

Those words he had spoken to her last night. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen Chat Noir so exposed and vulnerable with the way he talked about Ladybug. He…he really had cared about her. That much hadn't been a lie. Despite her fear and her anger, his words had in fact deeply touched her once she had calmed down enough when he left. She had never realised that he paid that much attention to her. She knew that he had a crush on her, but she never realised that it had run that deep.

The way he spoke…it was if…it was if he _still_ had feelings…for her.

 _No!_

Marinette violently shook her head. If he still truly had feelings for Ladybug, then why did he betray her? Why did he side with Hawkmoth? Why did he try to take her miraculous? He made it perfectly clear that night where his loyalties lay. When you love someone so much, you don't betray them like that.

The final knife in the stomach had been the moment she plunged to her death. Chat did nothing. Merely watching in shock as she was thrown through the window towards her fiery demise. He hadn't tried to save her. He just stood there and watched, leaving her for dead. That was all the confirmation Marinette needed.

So what was with the way Chat looked when he thought about Ladybug? Why did he say those things he did? Why did he care about Ladybug's memory so much? Marinette let out a dry laugh as she could think of only one possible reason why: he felt guilty. The nerve of him. Had his conscience finally caught up with him when the rumours began to spread that Ladybug was dead?

Still, that didn't quite make sense. Marinette wasn't quite sure what happened that night after she managed to get away. All she knew was that Hawkmoth's identity was exposed as Gabriel Agreste. He was found broken, bleeding and insanely mumbling to himself when the police managed to get inside. Gabriel was arrested, tried, and sent to a psychiatric hospital where he remains to this day. Chat Noir had somehow managed to get away.

The thought of Chat Noir sent Marinette into another panicked state as she remember his threat to her last night. The insane sparkle in his eyes as he uttered those frightful words: he would be watching her.

With a gasp at that memory, Marinette flung herself out of bed and pulled her curtains closed, not daring to look outside in case, somewhere, she would find a pair of green cat-like eyes staring at her. Once she had finished closing her curtains, Marinette let out a shaky breath, leaning her back against the wall before slowly sliding down into a foetal position on the floor.

Why did he have to come back into her life? Why did he have to terrorise her this way?

Marinette cursed herself for staying out so late that night. If it hadn't been for that, none of this would be happening. She never would have encountered Chat Noir again. If she hadn't stormed out last night, he wouldn't have become so fixated on her.

That thought had Marinette clasping a hand over her mouth in horror.

Did he know?

Had he somehow figured out who she really was?

Surely not.

If he had, Marinette was petty sure that she would be dead by now. He would hunt down her miraculous and finish what he had failed to do all those years ago. Not that he would be able to achieve the former. How would he have been able to have found out anyway? She gave no indication, and Master Fu had made a promise to her. So it would be almost impossible for anyone to figure out the truth. Marinette had made sure to meticulously cover her tracks.

Relaxing a little at that realisation, Marinette got up and sat on her desk chair, turning her computer on. News headlines immediately bombarded her, all of them about Chat Noir. How another criminal had been badly beaten and dropped off at the police station. How witnesses claimed to have seen Chat Noir and Rena Rouge fighting that night. It looked like Chat Noir had also almost destroyed an entire neighbourhood last night as well. Thankfully, no one seemed to have seen what happened between her and Chat Noir that night though.

Sick and tired of seeing anything that involved her old partner, Marinette switched her computer back off and slouched in her seat. Her ears became oversensitive to every sound around her, wondering if any small thump she heard, or any creak, was Chat Noir landing somewhere on the building to come and find her.

Marinette began to panic, wondering if she had remembered to lock the door to her balcony, however, she was too frozen with fear and paranoia to get up. What if when she went to check he would suddenly reach in and grab her?

"Gah!" Marinette yelped, her heart leaping into her mouth at the sound of a light knocking on her bedroom door.

Words became stuck in her throat as she fearfully stared at the trapdoor that led into her room. Her fingers tightly gripped her desk chair as she kept her startled blue eyes firmly locked on the door.

"Marinette, I know you're in there," Alya's voice called up, "don't tell me your still asleep?"

Again, Marinette found herself unable to answer, her eyes darting back towards the door of her balcony.

"Well I hope you're not getting dressed or anything because I'm coming in, girl," Alya announced before barging in, making Marinette jump slightly.

Alya kicked the door shut behind her before her hazel eyes sheepishly met Marinette's who was starting at her in shock and annoyance.

"Alya!" Marinette shrieked.

"I'm sorry, I just…I wanted to apologise for yesterday." Alya sighed.

"You already did." Marinette grabbed her phone and waved it.

"You never replied though."

"I…I got side-tracked."

Alya's eyes narrowed. "Side-tracked?"

"Errr, yeah. University applications and all that," Marinette mumbled, turning away from Alya to lean her elbows against her desk, staring blankly at the wall.

There were a few seconds of heavy silence before Alya spoke again.

"Is there anything you'd like to tell me, Marinette?" Alya asked, a hint of suspicion in her tone.

Marinette turned around to stare at her friend in confusion. "Nooo?"

"Get up to anything else interesting last night?"

Marinette could feel little droplets of sweat forming in her forehead. What exactly was Alya getting at? Had she seen everything that had happened last night? But she couldn't have. Marinette had seen the news earlier, she was busy fighting Chat Noir as Rena Rouge, so surely she couldn't have seen. If she had seen, then surely Alya would have come to her defence as Rena Rouge. She wasn't the type of hero just sit back and watch things play out. She was always quick to jump in; fight first and ask questions later.

"Not really," Marinette lied awkwardly, "just sorted my applications out and headed straight to bed."

Alya sighed, relaxing her tense facial expression to stare at Marinette sympathetically. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Marinette remained silent.

"I know you've had it hard these past few years. I wish I knew why so I could maybe be there for you more, but I do understand if it's difficult for you to talk about." Alya moved to lean against Marinette's desk, directly over the drawer which Marinette watched nervously. "If someone is bothering me, you can tell me, and I'll help you out."

Marinette's mind immediately jumped to Chat Noir, but kept her mouth clamped shut. She would love nothing more than to tell Alya. That would effectively be telling Rena Rouge, then maybe she could provide some sort of protection for her. Chat Noir had threatened that he would be watching her so it would be the perfect trap to capture his miraculous.

Yet something was stopping her, and Marinette couldn't figure out what it was. Besides, no doubt Chat Noir would catch wind of what was going on. He was smart. Unbelievably smart like he always had been. He would easily figure it out. Marinette would rather it was her that got into trouble with Chat, and not Alya. If anyone was going to get themselves killed in this situation, it should be Marinette.

"No one's bothering me." Marinette sighed before letting out a small shriek as Alya opened her curtains.

Alya shot her an odd look. "You can't keep shutting the world out, Marinette."

Marinette darted forward and wrestled her curtains out of Alya's hands before shutting them again. She clung onto the curtains for dear life, panting as her pulse continued to pound in her ears. Alya's eyes burned holes in the back of Marinette's head which helped her snap out of it. She slowly released her curtains and sat back down, her face draining of colour as she blankly stared ahead with wide eyes.

Alya rested her hand on Marinette's desk and was about to say something when she became distracted as she realised she had leaned against a small pile of torn paper. Marinette sighed, knowing what was coming as Alya picked a piece up and tried to read the text that was visible on the small torn pieces.

"Mari…are these…your application forms?" Alya managed to squeak out.

Marinette shrugged. "I did tell you I was sorting them out last night"

"Marinette!"

"What's the point though, Alya?!" Marinette shrieked, pushing away from her desk and knocking her chair over as she stood up. "I've got nothing going for me, so who in their right mind would accept me?! I've got no work to show them. I can't even concentrate on designing anymore so what's the point?"

"But, girl, you can't give up on your dreams," Alya pleaded.

"All my dreams died a long time ago." Marinette looked down, closing her eyes as a single tear escaped and trickled down her cheek.

Chat Noir had made sure of that.

Alya stepped forward, reaching her hand out to cup Marinette's cheek and gently wipe the tear away. Marinette reached up, attempting to knock Alya's hand away but instead, she found herself clinging onto it.

As if sensing what was about to happen, Alya wrapped her arms tightly around Marinette as her best friend began sobbing uncontrollably against her shoulder. Marinette buried her face there, wrapping her arms around Alya, and clinging on as tightly as possible, staining Alya's shirt with her tears. She didn't seem to mind though, and just rubbed soothing circles on Marinette's back, never once saying a word, just making gentle shushing sounds every few minutes.

As she continued to sob, Marinette was terrified that if Alya let go of her, then she might break apart into pieces. Parts of her body would scatter across her bedroom floor, unable to be put back together; the pieces damaged beyond repair.

Finally, like always, Marinette soon ran out of tears to cry, hiccupping and sniffing every so often as her eyes began to dry out. Alya loosened her grip on her friend and pulled back to look at her. Marinette almost yanked on Alya's arms in an attempt to pull them back around her, terrified of falling to pieces, needing someone to hold her, to keep her together.

Marinette's terrifying vision didn't come to fruition though. Her body didn't break apart into pieces when Alya let go of her. She was still in one piece. Well…physically at least.

"Feeling a bit better after that?" Alya asked, smiling gently at her.

Marinette shrugged. Yes, she did feel better in a sense now that what had been building up for a while had been expelled from her. But Marinette knew how it went by now. The ticking time bomb inside her had just re-started itself, and soon, everything would build up once again. It was a never-ending cycle that Marinette had come to accept at this point.

The sudden sound of Alya's phone ringing made Marinette jump, and Alya shot her an apologetic look before answering her phone.

"Hey, Nino."

Marinette pulled her desk chair back up and sat back down, bringing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them while Alya was busy conversing with Nino. Marinette suddenly didn't feel so good. It didn't quite feel like she was ill, it just felt like something was…off. Her gut instinct was suddenly screaming at her, and Marinette couldn't figure out why. However, she didn't have much time to ponder this as Alya hung up and came to stand next to her again.

"Is everything okay?" Marinette asked.

"Yeah." Alya sighed, looking worried. "Seems like you're not the only one having a bad day. Nino just told me he headed round to see Adrien, but he wouldn't answer the door."

"Maybe he's gone out?"

"Considering he hasn't left the grounds of his mansion since his father was exposed, I highly doubt that Marinette. Adrien is terrified of going outside," Alya explained, "and he's not looking good these days. He'll barely see me anymore, it's only Nino he'll occasionally see. I'm worried about him."

"That's awful," Marinette whispered.

She hadn't really had much of a chance to properly think about Adrien since everything had happened. He pulled himself out of school and sealed himself away from the world. From what Nino could get out of him, he was deeply ashamed that his father was Hawkmoth, and couldn't bring himself to leave the house out of fear of being seen by someone. He didn't want to be associated with his father.

Marinette was deeply worried for Adrien, but this was often overshadowed by her own problems. It had been so long since she had last seen Adrien. Did she still have feelings for him? Marinette wasn't too sure. She couldn't bring herself to even think about anything like that anyway. Besides, who would be interested in Marinette now? A damaged shell of her former self, broken beyond repair. No one ever bought the broken item on the shelf, so why would Marinette be any different?

"Anyway, Nino says he's going to head to some DJ gig instead, so I'm all yours for the day," Alya smiled.

"Really, Alya, that's not –"

"So I'm going to look after for you for the day, and look after you I shall." Alya looked her up and down. "First and foremost, get dressed." She picked up some clothes and threw them in Marinette's face. "I can't take you out wearing your pyjamas."

"Out?" Marinette gasped as she removed a shirt from her face. "Out where?"

"Girl, we're going for some retail therapy," Alya explained excitedly. "You're in dire need of some fresh air as you've been locked in your room for almost the entirety of the school break. I'll treat you to some lunch and we can go shopping."

"But –"

"No buts."

Marinette growled. Was there even any point in arguing with her? Alya always won. Marinette really didn't want to go out and do anything today. Especially with Chat Noir's threat constantly at the back of her mind.

Maybe it had been an empty threat though? How could Chat Noir go around at night hunting criminals, and then spy on her during the day? It didn't exactly seem feasible. Maybe he had just said it to scare her. Why would Chat Noir obsess over her anyway? She was nothing special. If he didn't know that she was Ladybug, then why would he have a need to spy on her and keep watch? Besides, if he was telling the truth, what harm could he do to her in public? It was the middle of the day, and Marinette would be in crowded public places. There was no way he could do anything.

Alya left the room to give Marinette some privacy to get changed. Once Marinette was ready, she slowly made her way downstairs, her parents clearly tried to act natural, despite the obvious shock on their faces. Alya smiled as Marinette reached the bottom of the stairs, gripping her purse nervously as she struggled to think of something to say.

"Much better." Alya nodded in approval before wrapping her arms around Marinette's shoulders and leading her towards the front door of her apartment.

"Have fun, sweetheart," her mother called, and Marinette turned around to offer her a small, brief smile before Alya all but dragged her down the stairs and out of the bakery.

Marinette had almost forgotten how bright it could be when the sun was out during the day. She shielded her eyes as Alya grabbed her arm and dragged her down the street towards some cafés and some stores. Marinette just let Alya guide her, feeling really unsure about doing this. She really wasn't in the mood, but she knew arguing with Alya would be futile. When Alya was on a mission, there was no stopping her.

However, the uneasy feeling Marinette had in her room suddenly returned, only more forceful this time. Her stomach felt like it dropped all the way down to her feet, and her heart pounded nervously. Instinctively, Marinette gazed up towards the roof of a building on the other side of the street. It was so quick, Marinette wasn't sure she had seen anything at all, but it looked like a dark figure darted behind one of the chimneys.

Letting out a squeak of fear, Marinette clung to Alya's arm like a frightened child. Alya offered Marinette a comforting squeeze.

"It's alright, Mari," Alya soothed, failing to notice what had Marinette so scared.

Marinette didn't say a word as she continued to cling to Alya. Marinette could feel it now. That unmistakable sensation of being watched. Her instincts were screaming at her to run, but she had nowhere to run to. It would only raise Alya's suspicions, and provide Chat Noir with this so called 'fun' that he was after. Marinette was sure that Chat Noir would find nothing more fun than chasing her through the streets of Paris.

But then what? If Marinette hid from him, he would only find her and make her more of an easy target. If she ran home, he would just break into her room. She couldn't make a scene either, she didn't want the whole of Paris knowing that Chat Noir had seemingly developed some weird obsession with her. That in turn risked exposing Marinette's own secrets. She had to act natural. She was safe in this crowded place for now. He could watch her all he wanted, Marinette wasn't going to react to it. That's what he wanted.

Letting go of Alya's arm, Marinette walked confidently alongside her which Alya smiled at. Alya then led them towards a small café for some lunch. She sat them both outside much to Marinette's annoyance, but Alya ignored her friend's protests, practically forcing Marinette down into a chair, dumping a coffee and a pastry down in front of her.

Alya sat down on the opposite side as Marinette began picking at her food, only occasionally putting a tiny portion in her mouth while she tuned out her best friend's babbling.

"I'm still annoyed at those false leads on the Ladyblog."

"Yeah…wait, what?" Marinette nearly choked on her food.

"Those online trolls, haven't you been listening?" Alya explained in frustration. "People leaving comments saying they know where Ladybug's grave or her body is, or that they have her miraculous. Some people even try to claim that Ladybug is still alive and that they've seen her. I mean, crazy right?"

Marinette chuckled nervously. "Yeah…crazy."

"It does make you wonder though," Alya mused.

"It does?"

"I mean, no body has ever been found, and neither has her miraculous, so it makes you wonder…what happened to her? What happened to her miraculous?"

Marinette shrugged, smiling awkwardly. "Search me."

Alya sighed. "I even attempted to ask Adrien once if any hint of any remains had been found somewhere on or near the mansion. Once I managed to make him stop freaking out, he said nothing was ever found. Not one trace of her. It certainly is strange…and it makes you wonder…" Alya narrowed her eyes.

Marinette chuckled nervously again. "Careful. You're starting to sound like one of those crackpot online conspiracy theorists."

Alya laughed before sighing sadly. "You're right. I guess I'm just being too hopeful. Ladybug would _never_ abandon Paris, or let Chat Noir get away with what he's doing, so I guess she must really be…gone. Hey, Mari, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Marinette squeaked.

"I've never seen you go so pale before."

"I just…I think I might be coming down with something." She faked a cough.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Alya apologised, "here's me babbling away about Ladybug again when today is supposed to be about you. I'm really sorry Marinette, it's just…I miss her."

"Yeah." Marinette bit her lip and looked away.

Marinette felt sick to her stomach, unable to look her friend in the eye. Oh, if only Alya knew. Then her best friend would hate her forever. Alya would never be able to understand what happened. Hell, Marinette could barely bring _herself_ to understand the situation.

It was all such a mess.

A mess that Marinette would never be able to get herself out of, and she would have to live with that haunting fact for the rest of her life. Ladybug would always be looming over her, like a sharp knife loosely strapped to the ceiling with Marinette tied down beneath it. At any moment, it could give way, stabbing her, and causing her pain all over again.

Marinette thought Alya would be over it by now. That she would mourn the death of her favourite hero for a few months and then get over her, especially with her own superhero identity to distract her.

But no.

Four years later, and Alya still clung onto Ladybug. She still ran the Ladyblog, and updated it regularly. Though Marinette could never understand why. Ladybug was nothing to celebrate or honour. She had failed in her duty. Why couldn't the rest of Paris see that? Why couldn't they see Ladybug for what she really was? Instead, they all had this angelic view of her, as if she could do no wrong, as if she was some sort of saint. It was sickening.

"Are you finished?" Alya asked.

Marinette sighed and looked down at her half-eaten food and barely touched coffee, her stomach twisting at the sight of food and drink. She nodded and got up as Alya did, letting her lead her away from the café and down the street towards the main stores of the area.

Following along silently as Alya continued to chat about something she couldn't bring herself to pay attention to, Marinette couldn't shake off that feeling that someone was watching her. Maybe it was Chat. She had thought she'd seen a figure dart behind a chimney. At this point, Marinette might as well have been dragging her stomach along behind her, that's how much it had dropped. Fear and anger consumed her, though Marinette fought hard not to let it show. She didn't want to give Chat the satisfaction.

Soon, Alya and Marinette reached a busy point where they could no longer walk side by side. To let other people pass, Marinette ducked behind Alya as they continued walking. Many people who were busy on their phones nearly crashed into Marinette which had her sinking even further behind Alya as they walked past many stores and alleyways.

Something large and warm grabbed hold of Marinette's arm just as she nearly finished walking by a small, tight alleyway between two stores. Marinette was about to involuntarily yelp and yank her arm away from the creepy stranger who dared to do this to her, when she was suddenly pulled backwards and into the dark alley.

A leather covered hand clamped itself over her mouth, preventing her from screaming. Another arm snaked its way around her waist as her back was pressed tightly against a broad chest, completely restricting her movement no matter how much she tried to angrily and fearfully thrash around.

Marinette looked up at her attacker, her screams once again muffled by the large hand over her mouth as blue eyes met glowing green ones.

A deep purring sound vibrated in Chat's chest against her back, causing Marinette to freeze in place as her captor leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Hello again, my princess. I've missed you."

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 **Uh oh! What do you guys think is going to happen next? By the way, some people have pointed out some small grammar mistakes I might occasionally make and I'm really sorry about that. They're just typos that I miss while proofreading. I proofread my chapters a good few times, but some mistakes still manage to slip through and I'm really sorry about that. I do try and catch them all, but mistakes happen and I don't really have the time or resources to communicate and send documents back and forth with a beta reader at the moment.**

 **Anyway, as always, feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think. I read every single one of them and enjoy reading your thoughts and opinions. I'll see you guys soon.**


	8. Raging Inferno

**Welcome back! Thank you so much for the amazing reviews, I'm so glad to see so many of you are enjoying this story. I really appreciate it. Also thank you to those who have added this story to their favourites and also those who have followed the story. It all inspires me to keep writing.**

 **CAUTION: This chapter may contain descriptions that may be slightly disturbing and upsetting.**

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 **Chapter 8: Raging Inferno**

Marinette held her breath, not daring to move after hearing Chat Noir's deranged voice whispering in her ear. His purring continued to vibrate against her back as she stared straight ahead at the opposite wall of the alley, unable to bring herself to look at him. He kept her pinned against his chest, and Marinette had to fight off the urge to vomit at being so close to him after everything he had done. His arm remained wrapped around her waist, and Marinette struggled not to shiver, afraid that her disgust would be mistaken for fear which would likely only spur him on even more.

"I've been worried about you all morning, my princess," he whispered in her ear as he kept his other hand firmly pressed against her mouth.

Desperate to get away, Marinette began thrashing against his hold again, but it was like Chat Noir was made out of titanium. She could barely get him to budge even slightly. His grip tightened on her like a boa constrictor, not leaving her much room to breathe. Her head was beginning to pound, and her heart rate skyrocketed in her chest, pumping adrenaline throughout her body. This was just like how she used to feel when she was Ladybug. Captured by an akumatized villain, her miraculous there for the taking, all the while fear coursed through her veins, desperate to get away.

Marinette shook her head, growing even more panicked at that familiar feeling. Chat Noir was all of the reminders that she didn't need. Ladybug was gone and never coming back. Marinette wanted to bury those memories and never let them surface again. Yet Chat Noir seemed to be thwarting her efforts at every turn.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Chat Noir leaned his face closer to hers, and Marinette let out a squeak that was muffled by his hand. Marinette thrashed harder as it felt like Chat was pressing his nose into her hair, and she felt his intake of breath against the skin of her neck.

What on earth was he doing?! As well as turning into a villain, had he also morphed into some sort of creep?

"You even smell like her…" Chat noted in a harsh whisper. "I don't understand…"

Marinette squeezed her eyes tightly closed, feeling tears welling up in her eyes, willing them not to fall. A deep, sinking, foreboding feeling consumed her like a tall, violent wave was pulling her under, dragging her to the crushing depths of the ocean.

Ladybug's head abruptly looked up from the roof she was standing on in alarm. Her blue eyes widened, and she almost stumbled back slightly at the sudden sensation that overcame her. Her instincts were screaming at her, the words of her subconscious unintelligible as it flailed around, yelling incoherently.

Something was wrong.

Very very very wrong.

But Ladybug couldn't quite put her finger on it. Was an akuma about to attack? It had been quiet these past few weeks, so maybe they were due for one? Maybe she was on edge because Hawkmoth was being so quiet lately? It certainly wasn't sitting right with her that Hawkmoth seemed to have disappeared off the face of the Earth at the moment.

Yet it didn't feel like that was reason Ladybug suddenly felt incredibly on edge. This was something much bigger. Every part of her suddenly felt like it was on high alert. Alarms were blaring in her head, begging her to run, to escape and never look back. But why? Where the hell had that feeling come from?

"Everything alright, my lady?" Chat Noir asked, noticing Ladybug's sudden change in position and facial expression.

"I…I'm fine. I think?" Ladybug frowned before looking back at the view of Paris in front of them, both of them keeping an eye on the city.

The setting sun felt warm against Ladybug's face. The Eiffel Tower was beginning to light up ahead of them, putting on a spectacular display, sparkling like a beautiful beacon in the middle of the vast city. Ladybug studied each individual sparkle, hoping to keep her mind distracted from the terrifying feeling she was getting in her gut.

"You _think?_ " Chat Noir repeated, not buying it.

"It's just…I've got a funny feeling," Ladybug tried to explain.

"Funny how?" Chat frowned.

Ladybug turned to look at him with a worried expression. "Like something bad is going to happen."

Chat Noir looked away from her, staring out into the city with a deep, pained frown on his face. It looked like he was trying to solve a difficult equation in his head, and if he got the question wrong, he would be electrocuted. Staring at Chat, the alarms continued to blare loudly in her mind, almost deafening her.

Was something wrong with Chat? He had been acting strange lately. No, surely it wasn't something to do with Chat. He could never do anything that would cause her instincts to react like this. He was her partner, her best friend. Maybe it was some sort of false alarm like the time she had been so sure that Gabriel Agreste was Hawkmoth. She had been wrong then, so she was likely wrong about this. Maybe his strange behaviour was just freaking her out or something. Chat just probably had a lot on his mind like he sometimes did.

"Anyway, I should be asking you that question." Ladybug smiled gently at him. "Are you okay? You've been seeming kinda distant lately, like you have something on your mind?"

Chat Noir sighed, clenching his hands into fists.

"It doesn't matter." His tone seemed a lot harsher than usual.

"Well, it clearly does if it's bother you."

"I said, it doesn't matter!" Chat snapped as he turned around to glare at her.

Ladybug stared at him with wide eyes, taken aback by his sudden and dramatic mood change. Chat Noir had never snapped at her like that before. This really wasn't like him. Something was obviously wrong to cause Chat Noir to turn on her like that. He was always so carefree and easy going. What was bothering him so much that it was causing him to act so out of character? Clearly it was something he didn't want Ladybug pry on. Maybe it was something to do with his civilian life?

Chat then stared at her like a deer caught in headlights and began trembling slightly.

"L-Ladybug…I'm s-sorry, I just…I have a lot on my mind. But that was uncalled for, and I'm so sorry."

Sighing, Ladybug waved him off. "It's fine. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have put too much pressure on you to tell me. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. Problems in your civilian life I'm guessing?"

"You have no idea," Chat growled and stared back out towards the city.

"Leading a double life can be difficult." Ladybug sighed, shifting to stand closer to her partner. "There are times where I struggle to handle it, and it can make my civilian life pretty difficult sometimes. But you know…I wouldn't give up being Ladybug for the world." She smiled.

Chat finally turned to face her with a curious expression. "Why?"

"Well, I enjoy saving Paris; I like the fact that I'm doing something good. Not to mention, if I hadn't have become Ladybug, then I never would have met you." She beamed at him, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

Chat Noir stared at her in shock before he smiled back. "And now you're stuck with me."

Ladybug laughed. "Is that a promise? I can't imagine myself working with another Chat Noir."

There was a long pause, and Ladybug began to grow worried before she gasped as Chat Noir suddenly pulled her into a tight, unexpected embrace. After getting over the shock, Ladybug wrapped her arms around him in return, burying her face in his chest, feeling almost…complete.

Ladybug and Chat Noir rarely displayed that much affection with each other, but the times that they did, it always had Ladybug feeling strange. It was part of why she kept her barriers so high with Chat Noir. Whenever he did hold her, she found herself wanting him to never let go. She felt safe. She felt like she was home. Those feelings startled Ladybug beyond belief.

Was this normal? Should she be feeling this way? Ladybug wasn't sure, and it frightened her. It was the same feelings she got whenever she was around Adrien. But she didn't have a…crush on both of them…right? That just wasn't possible.

"I promise." Chat whispering in her ear interrupted her thoughts.

His tone was so intense and fierce that it made Ladybug jump slightly. He kept his arms wrapped around her, tightening his grip slightly which had Ladybug frowning slightly. What had gotten into him? He'd never embraced her like this before, not even when she had jumped into the mouth of that dinosaur.

 _Something's wrong! Something's wrong! Something's wrong!_

Her instincts continued to scream at her, and Ladybug's whole body tensed up, and she found herself gripping Chat Noir even tighter in fear. He buried his own face in her hair, swaying them back and forth slightly as they continued to stand, wrapped in each other's arms in what Ladybug felt like was some sort of long goodbye. She didn't like the vibe it was giving her. Ladybug just wished she could pin-point the source of what had her instincts screaming at her like they were. It had never been this intense before.

"Do you live in a candy factory or something? Because you always smell really nice." Chat Noir chuckled.

"Errrr thanks?" Ladybug mumbled, still distracted by the feeling in her gut.

As if sensing this, Chat Noir pulled back, moving to place his hands on her shoulders so that he could look at her. Ladybug stared back in confusion, letting her own arms fall limply against her sides as Chat Noir's green cat-like eyes felt like they were staring into her very soul. She had never seen him look so determined before. He was always so playful, rarely ever taking his job as a hero that seriously. It was intense that it had Ladybug almost stumbling backwards. Who was this imposter and what had he done with her kitty? She wanted to make that joke but the words became caught in her throat at the intense look in his eyes as he stared at her.

"Do you trust me?" Chat asked her out of the blue.

"Chat, wha –?"

"Do you trust me?" he repeated a little more desperately.

Ladybug frowned suspiciously. "Of course I trust you, kitty. I trust you with my life."

Chat continued to gaze at her intensely. "And you know that I will never _ever_ let anything happen to you?"

Marinette blinked. The vision of Paris at twilight faded before her eyes, floating up into the sky and breaking up into individual atoms. The sight of the dark alley took its place. Chat's presence however, didn't fade. In fact, it remained exactly the same. His hands were firmly placed on her shoulders and he was staring at her intensely, his eyes wide with panic as they scanned every detail of her face.

Remembering where she was and what was happening, Marinette tried to back away, but Chat Noir's grip on her was too strong. Grabbing hold of his arms, Marinette tried to push them off her and run away. Her efforts were futile though as Chat Noir easily wrapped his arms around her again, restricting almost all of her movements.

"Let me go!" Marinette hissed, staring down the alley at the crowd of people walking by as if nothing was wrong only a few feet away.

"No! I need to know you're safe!" Chat demanded desperately, sounding almost like his old self.

It spooked Marinette beyond words to hear him talking to her like that. It reminded her so much of how things used to be. How Marinette would do something dangerous or push herself to the limit in order to save Paris, much to the chagrin of Chat Noir who would often watch things fold out. He would scold her afterwards before telling her how amazing she was and demand to know whether she was hurt or if she was safe.

Marinette could feel bile rising up in her throat. It truly was sickening how much he sounded like his old self sometimes. It was like the universe was playing one huge, cruel joke on her. All Marinette had wanted to do was get on with her life as best as she could. Now that Chat Noir had fixated on her, she didn't seem to be ever getting much chance of that.

"You're insane!" Marinette shrieked, struggling to free herself.

"Why is it so insane for me to want to protect you, Ladybug?!" Chat Noir yelled back, his eyes sparkling dangerously before he froze at the realisation of what he had just done and said.

Marinette felt her heart come to a complete stop in her chest at Chat Noir's words.

No.

No no no no!

 _He couldn't know!_

Could he?!

It was impossible!

Chat Noir didn't even know Master Fu existed, and he had promised her, so it couldn't have been him that Chat found it out from. No one else knew apart from Master Fu and herself. Could she have accidentally given it away by mistake? Marinette didn't see that as likely, but she didn't exactly have the most stable mind at the moment, so maybe she had given it away without realising?

This was it.

She was dead.

Chat Noir was going to kill her.

But at least she would die knowing that Chat would never be able to get his hands on the ladybug miraculous.

"I-I didn't mean that. I didn't mean to call you _her_ name," Chat growled.

"What?" Marinette gasped.

"It's because of you! You look, act and sound just like her!" Chat's eyes began to sparkle dangerously again as they looked Marinette up and down in a way that made her feel extremely nervous and uncomfortable.

"Why?! Why are you torturing me like this?!" His fingers dug into her skin as he clung onto her like she was a piece of floating debris in the middle of a stormy ocean.

"Why do you care anyway?" Marinette demanded, glaring at him with all the anger she had kept pent up for years. "You betrayed her, so why does she matter so much to you?"

Chat snarled, and was about to say something when he suddenly froze and his face fell slightly. Marinette found herself trying to automatically lean away as Chat seemed to completely space out for a few moments. So many emotions crossed his face in such a short space of time that Marinette wasn't able to pick up on any of them.

After a few moments, Chat Noir seemed to snap out of it before baring his teeth at Marinette, leaning close to her face while she did her best to lean away from him. His nose almost touched hers as his fiery gaze bore into her.

"Wait a second…" Chat Noir growled through clenched teeth as he reached up to grab hold of Marinette's chin, making sure she continued to face him. "How do _you_ know I betrayed Ladybug?"

Marinette swallowed loudly. As much as she didn't want to and willed her body to stop, she began trembling in fear as Chat Noir kept her gaze locked on his. He was searching her eyes for something, and Marinette had a bad feeling she knew exactly what he was searching for.

Marinette did her best to try and not give anything away through her eyes and body language, but her intense fear was preventing her from doing so. Maybe it would be best if he did find out. Then he could kill her right here and now and it would all be over with. Marinette could finally be at peace.

No! She wasn't going to die by his hands. She refused to give Chat what he wanted after everything he had done to her.

"There are r-rumours about what happened that night," Marinette lied, trying to move her chin out of his grip, but he kept a tight hold.

Chat Noir chuckled. "Is that so? Well, you and everyone else can whisper as much as you want, but only I know what _really_ happened that night."

Marinette frowned in confusion.

"So I would appreciate it if you stopped trying to tip me over the edge, little princess." He moved his thumb up to gently stroke her cheek. "Even _I_ wouldn't trust myself around you if I was provoked enough," he threatened.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Marinette found herself begging.

Chat smirked as he continued to stroke her face. It looked like he wasn't all there. Like he was half human, half animal, almost completely consumed by his subconscious and his instincts, doing whatever he pleased and whatever suited his survival.

Was this why he had betrayed her? Because he thought Hawkmoth was going to win and he wanted to protect himself? That thought had Ladybug feeling even more worthless as a hero. Even her own partner didn't trust her abilities enough to protect Paris. She really had never been worthy of being Ladybug.

"Because I _need_ to see you," Chat purred, devouring her with his eyes.

Marinette squirmed more violently, trying to wiggle herself free while Chat laughed at her attempts.

"You think you can escape me, princess?" Chat laughed, now sounding less like his old self and more like the deranged animal Paris had known for years now. "I'll always come looking, and I'll always find you. You're mine."

Eyes widened in terror, Marinette froze at how dangerously crazy Chat Noir was sounding. What had happened to him? What had caused him to lose his mind like this? Nothing was making any sense. It was like there were two versions of him, the other friendlier version of him was slowly disappearing, only to be replaced by the monster that now held her in his arms.

"Now come on, we're leaving," Chat announced, tightening his grip around her waist.

"WHAT?!" Marinette screamed before Chat Noir clamped a hand across her mouth again, silencing her.

"Sssssh," he crooned into her ear, "I need to stash you somewhere safe where no one can ever get hold of you and hurt you." He gently kissed her temple.

Marinette thrashed around as violently as she could, trying to yank her arms free which were pinned to the side of one of Chat Noir's arms. Stash her? Stash her where?! Chat Noir really had completely lost his mind! Why her?! Why couldn't he just leave her alone?! Why was he so obsessed with keeping her 'safe'? None of this was making any sense!

She was beginning to feel dizzy with panic and confusion. Had Alya noticed that she was gone by now? Surely she must have! Marinette desperately needed a way out of this situation.

"Hold on tight." Chat smirked as he pulled out his baton, ready to extend it and carry them away.

Marinette screamed as loud as could, but it remained muffled by Chat's hand.

"Marinette!" A familiar voice screamed at them from above.

Chat Noir froze, and both he and Marinette looked up to see something orange and white falling towards them. Rena Rouge landed before them, her face possessing an expression of pure thunder as she stared at Chat Noir.

Marinette felt herself relaxing slightly in relief. Hopefully Rena Rouge would be able to get her out of this. No doubt this situation would raise a lot of awkward questions Marinette didn't want to answer, but right now she was more concerned with Chat Noir being prevented from carrying her off to some unknown location – practically kidnapping her.

Rena Rouge's hazel eyes then landed on Marinette, held captive by Chat Noir's arms, and her face turned to one of pure horror.

"I knew it," Rena Rouge whispered before yelled, "let her go!"

"You again," Chat growled.

"I said, let her go, Chat!"

"NO!" Chat clutched Marinette possessively to his chest.

"Don't make me use force!" Rena Rouge threatened.

"If you hurt Marinette, I'll kill you!" Chat Noir yelled insanely before smirking. "And I still need to enact my revenge for that little prank you pulled on me last night."

"No one wants to hurt Marinette, you crazy cat!" Rena Rouge screamed at him.

Chat didn't budge as he glared menacingly at the fox hero.

Rena Rouge growled before she charged towards Chat Noir, her flute held tightly in her hand. Chat Noir pushed Marinette away from him, though he kept hold of her arm, making sure she didn't try and escape. Chat Noir extended his baton and held it up as a barrier, however, Rena Rouge managed to duck under it just in time, twisting around to kick Chat Noir in the chest. He lost his grip on Marinette's arm as he was sent flying backwards into the building behind him, almost entirely breaking through the brick wall. Dust and rubble rained down around them, and Marinette coughed as she tried to back away.

Marinette then screamed when she felt someone grab her before it turned into a sight of relief once she realised it was just Rena Rouge. Within seconds, Rena Rouge had scooped Marinette up into her arms, carrying her bridal style as she backed away from a disorientated Chat Noir as quickly as she could.

"Don't worry," Rena Rouge reassured her, "I'll get you out of here."

Marinette nodded, clinging onto her shoulders as Rena Rouge was about to leap away from the scene. The fox hero had barely made it a few feet into the air when something grabbed hold of her foot. Rena Rouge and Marinette both yelped as they were pulled back down to the ground. Rena Rouge twisted to land on her back, trying her best to cushion Marinette from the fall. Marinette panicked as she heard the air get knocked out of the fox hero as she slammed against the hard concrete beneath them.

Rena Rouge's eyes fluttered back open which caused Marinette to sigh with relief before gasping as the fox hero yanked her by the waist, rolling them both to the side as she felt Chat Noir make a grab for her. He narrowly missed, and he growled as he did so; he was losing more and more of himself. Marinette recognised this and began panicking even more.

The fox hero pulled herself back up, dragging Marinette up with her like a rag doll. Rena Rouge pulled Marinette behind her, acting as a human shield as she slowly backed them away from Chat Noir. He extended his baton again, making it act like a barrier between Rena Rouge and Marinette. Easily knocking the fox hero to the side, Chat Noir dove forward and grabbed hold of Marinette's arm again.

"Your palace awaits, _purrincess._ " He laughed before bending his knees slightly, ready to take off.

Marinette glared at him before twisting her arm in his grasp so that she was the one who now had hold of him. She grabbed his arm with both hands and twisted it around, pressing it against his back. Chat Noir yelped in surprise, dropping his baton in the process as he tried to use his other hand to free himself. Marinette wrapped her other arm under his free arm, restricting its movement as he tried to grab hold of her again.

"I don't think so, kitty," Marinette growled out.

Chat Noir gasped and froze at her words.

"Whoa, Marinette!" Rena Rouge gasped as she pulled herself up again. "Where did you learn to do something like that?!"

Marinette froze. "I…errrr…"

Chat Noir saw his chance and took it. Sensing Marinette's frozen and loosening grip, he yanked both of his arms free, nearly knocking Marinette over with the force in the process. He grabbed hold of her again though, steading her, and this time, he pinned her to his body so she couldn't pull any tricks this time.

Marinette yelled and thrashed around as Chat reached down to pick up his baton, pointing it towards Rena Rouge in warning as she looked like she was ready to pounce on him.

"Two against one?" Chat Noir laughed. "That's hardly fair. I must confess, I'm slightly disappointed in you, princess. I can't believe you would betray your prince and savour. We'll discuss it later," he growled at her before tightening his grip and jumping into the air.

"NO!" Marinette screamed.

Rena Rouge grabbed his leg.

"Let's see how you like it!" she shouted before pulling him back down with as much force as she could muster.

The force of the landing caused Chat Noir to let go of Marinette, and both of them were sent rolling further down the alley. Marinette crashed into a brick wall, her head colliding painfully with the hard surface as she did so. Her vision blurred slightly as pain shot throughout her scalp. Something warm began to trickle down her neck as Marinette blinked rapidly, forcing her vision to clear to pay attention to what was going on. The ringing in her ears began to quieten down slightly as Rena Rouge stalked towards Chat Noir, who was pushing himself up off the ground, shaking the rubble out of his blond locks.

"I'll take that!" Rena Rouge bent down to try and take Chat Noir's miraculous, and Marinette held her breath as she watched.

The fox hero's fingers came so tantalisingly close to touching the black and green ring on Chat Noir's finger. Barely a millimetre separated her from taking the miraculous. His identity would be exposed. Paris would finally be safe. Marinette might finally be free.

 _Smack!_

Chat Noir had abruptly snapped out of his disorientated state and punched Rena Rouge right across her face. Rena Rouge yelled in pain and stumbled to the side from the force. Blood squirted from her nose before she clutched it with one hand and glared at Chat Noir. He merely winked at her before launching himself at her. Rena Rouge rolled backwards, kicking Chat Noir in the stomach, sending him flying over her where he crashed into a wall again, sending more rubble tumbling down towards them.

Marinette coughed from all the dust as pain shot throughout her head again. What was this stuff that she could feel trickling down her neck? Marinette brought a shaky hand up to touch the back of her neck before pulling it away to look at it. She gasped. Blood. Her whole hand was stained almost completely red.

Pulling out her communicator, Rena Rouge coughed, blood pouring from her nose as she began to speak into it.

"Hello? Carapace, Queen Bee, can anyone hear me? Hello? I need urgent back – _AHHHH!_ " She screamed in pain as Chat Noir clawed at her face, causing her to drop her flute.

Rena Rouge grabbed hold of Chat Noir's arms, holding him back as he snarled at her like a wild animal. Marinette whimpered as pain shot through her head again; it felt like it was getting worse.

Upon hearing her whimpers, Chat Noir froze and turned to look at her. He gasped at what he saw as blood began to drip from Marinette's head onto the concrete ground beneath her. He pushed Rena Rouge away, sending her flying backwards a few feet before he twisted around and rushed towards Marinette, a panic-stricken look on his face.

"Marinette!" Chat Noir cried, reaching out for her, his green eyes completely wild.

Marinette screamed and tried to shuffle away as her vision went slightly blurry again before clearing. However, Chat Noir was soon stopped in his tracks, unable to run forward anymore, his hands almost touching Marinette before he was yanked backwards slightly. Marinette peered around a snarling and beyond angry Chat Noir to see Rena Rouge fighting to keep a hold of his tail and keep him away from Marinette.

"Run Marinette!" Rena Rouge screamed as Chat Noir growled at her. "RUN!"

Not needing to be told again, Marinette stumbled her way to her feet, almost immediately falling down again as the pain in her head began to travel throughout her body. By placing a hand on the ground, Marinette just barely managed to right herself again before she sprinted out of the alley. She could hear Chat Noir and Rena Rouge attacking each other behind her, but Marinette didn't dare look back in case she fell over and was never able to get back up.

Some citizens gasped at the sight of her as she pushed her way through the crowd of shoppers, blood continuing to drip off her. Her vision blurred again, seeing double of everything before it cleared itself again. Marinette stumbled and pushed her way through the busy street until a few distant screams caught her attention.

Confident that she had blended in with the crowd, Marinette turned around to see Chat Noir leap out of the alley they had just been in, his eyes scanning the crowd desperately as he landed on top of a lamppost. As if he could sense her presence, Chat Noir's eyes soon found hers and he smirked at her. The way he looked at her…it was like he was a predator and she was his prey.

The crowd instantly began screaming at the sight of him.

"It's Chat Noir!" somebody yelled.

"What's he doing out during the day?!"

The screaming crowd instantly began running away from him just as Rena Rouge appeared, distracting Chat Noir long enough for Marinette to turn around and run away with the large crowd. People pushed and shoved each other in their desperate attempts to get away. A normal day had turned into complete chaos. Everyone was screaming, yelling, and crying as they lost loved ones in the panicked crowd that was trying to desperately get away from the scene.

Marinette yelped as a tall man elbowed her in the face, worsening the pain in her head. Some people were pushed, and others collapsed onto the ground to then be trampled on. But Marinette could barely pay attention. Suddenly, it sounded like she was underwater. The screams of the crowd became muffled, and the air around her felt heavy. Her head continued to throb with every frightened beat of her heart. She could still feel blood pouring down her neck, meaning that whatever she had done to her head during the fight in the alleyway, it hadn't stopped bleeding yet.

Her vision blurred again, only this time, it didn't clear. An intense dizzying sensation overcame her, and it was like whole planet was suddenly tilting sideways, making Marinette lose her balance.

In what felt like slow motion, Marinette stumbled, her face hitting the back of the woman who was running in front of her before the person behind her stood on the back of her foot, preventing Marinette from going any further forward. Completely losing her balance, Marinette fell to the ground, her hands and knees grazing the concrete below her. Someone ran over her, their feet pushing Marinette further down, rendering her unable to get back up.

Her vision fogged up completely, and the sound of the screaming crowd grew even more distant. Her skin suddenly felt like it was on fire, and Marinette looked up to see shards of glass sticking out of her flesh as her whole body erupted into unimaginable pain. The flames continued to lick her skin, setting her body ablaze. Blisters formed on her skin, immediately popping, sending pus and blood flying everywhere as the flames continued to burn her alive.

Marinette screamed, reaching one hand forward to pull herself along the dirt covered ground. Her exposed arm in front of her was almost completely red and yellow, barely any intact skin left. Smoke choked her lungs, causing her scream to morph into a violent coughing fit. Marinette whimpered as she coughed up blood, pulling her white shirt up to try and protect her face from the fire.

Wait…

Shirt? Why was she in her civilian clothes?

Before she had lost consciousness, she was so sure she had been in her Ladybug attire. Marinette gasped before coughing as that caused her to inhale even more smoke. She weakly reached her other hand up to feel her ears.

Her miraculous was still there.

Relief washed over Marinette for a brief moment before she ran her finger across her earring. She yelped and pulled her finger back as she felt something sharp stab into it.

"Tikki?!" Marinette cried out, continuing to try and pull herself away from the fire.

Luckily, the wall of the Agreste mansion had been destroyed and burnt down by the fire. Marinette pulled herself towards it, shuffling along the ground, screaming as the intense heat singed away her skin, leaving nothing but muscle. She pulled her jacket off and tore it in two before wrapping it around her hands to hopefully help pull her along without burning her hands.

Big mistake.

" _AHHHHHHH!_ " Marinette screamed louder than she had even screamed before in pain that she didn't think was possible to experience.

The flames incinerated the skin of her arms in a matter of seconds, cooking Marinette inside her very own body. She choked again on the smoke before extracting every last ounce of energy she had to pull herself out of this.

Why hadn't she died? She was so sure when she felt herself hit the ground that she had died. She was ready to die. She had wanted to die.

"TIKKI!" Marinette cried out again, her eyes desperately scanning around her from her kwami.

But Tikki was nowhere in sight. Marinette could barely see anything over the bright pillars of flames and the thick, dark smoke above her. Had Tikki managed to get out? Had the little kwami gone to get help? Marinette couldn't see her anywhere.

Finally, Marinette managed to pull herself through the gap in the wall. At last, she was away from most of the flames. Yet it still felt like she was trapped in there. Her skin still felt like it was on fire. She continued to bleed out onto the street, her exposed skin stinging incredibly painfully as it touched the dirty concrete beneath her. Marinette coughed and choked, bringing up more blood as she did so. Her breathing came out in short gasps as smoke had polluted her lungs, rendering breathing properly almost impossible. Her vision blurred as the pain became unbearable, as if every cell in her body was on fire.

Reaching forward one last time, Marinette completely collapsed, the last piece of her strength gone. Now all that was left was pain. So much unimaginable pain.

Chat Noir had betrayed her.

He had watched as she was thrown down into the fire below.

He hadn't come to save her.

Now it was even too late for Marinette to save herself. It was like she could practically feel death leaning over her right now, watching, waiting, ready to take her at any moment.

Marinette had failed. So maybe, this way was best. Maybe she deserved to die.

A dark wall closed in around her vision as she fought to keep her eyes open, but she didn't have any fight left in her. Marinette could just barely make out what looked like a small figure moving towards her in the distance, closing in on her.

Marinette smiled to herself as thought of all the faces of her loved ones. Alya, her parents…Adrien…

Imagining his smiling face, the feeling of being in his warm embrace, Marinette allowed her eyes to gently close, shrouding her in peaceful darkness.

* * *

 **I wasn't feeling too well when I wrote this chapter so I hope it hasn't come out awful. I apologise if it is. Action scenes are always so dizzying to write. Anyway, feel free to let me know your thoughts and opinions in a review as they always help me out so much. I appreciate any and all feedback I get. I'll see you guys soon.**


	9. Detached From Reality

**Guess who's back, back again. I was hoping to have this chapter out sooner, but me being the moron that I am, managed to somehow give myself some form of food poisoning. Fun times. Thank you so much for all of the awesome reviews on the last chapter. Feedback is always much appreciated.**

 **Just as a quick note because a few people have pointed this out. The fact that there's no clear line between flashbacks and reality which makes it confusing is entirely intentional. It's supposed to represent how confusing and jarring it can actually be to experience a flashback so you experience the jolting, confusing feelings with the characters as they do. A lot of you had picked up on the intentionality of it, but just in case some people haven't, I thought I'd best quickly explain.**

 **CAUTION: This chapter contains descriptions of a panic attack that may be upsetting to some readers.**

* * *

 **Chapter 9: Detached From Reality**

" _Marinette."_

Marinette stumbled around in the darkness, reaching out blindly. Slowly and cautiously taking small steps forward, Marinette shuffled her feet along on the ground in the hopes that she wouldn't trip and fall. The high-pitched, weak voice that called to her echoed all around her, rendering her unable to make out which direction it was coming from. All around was nothing but a dark void. Empty and black like the furthest reaches of deep space. Had Marinette gone blind? Was this some sort of limbo? Was she…dead?

There was no sound, no smells, and the only thing Marinette could feel was the ground beneath her. It was the only sensation that assured her that she was in fact awake and alert. That and the occasional weak call of her name from an unknown distance. A voice that was normally familiar and comforting to Marinette. It was warm, reassuring and chimed like a clear bell. A voice that so often called to Marinette in her dreams, crying out for her, pleading with her…never letting her forget.

" _Marinette."_

Breathing in a shaky breath, Marinette took another small step forward, almost feeling herself lose her balance slightly as there was nothing around her to allow herself to get her bearings. It had felt like the voice was getting closer. Her ear had tingled as the sound of her name reached her. The sound caressed her skin, causing her hair to stand on end and a shiver to run down her spine.

Why couldn't Marinette just be allowed to forget?

" _Marinette."_

"Tikki?" Marinette's voice was raspy, rendering her unable to shout.

Her throat felt incredibly dry like it had been rubbed with sandpaper. She suddenly became aware of a dull, throbbing pain at the back of her head. Her limbs felt weak as if they were made of jelly. Marinette forced herself to press on though, trying her best to ignore the painful sensations travelling throughout her body.

" _Please help me, Marinette."_

"I'm trying!" Marinette called back. "Just tell me where you are!"

" _You know where I am."_

"Tell me how to help you!"

" _You must fix what is broken."_

"I don't understand!" Tears began streaming down Marinette's face, and she pulled at her hair in frustration.

At this point, it sounded like Tikki was right next to her, talking directly into her ear. But Marinette couldn't see anything. Nothing but an endless darkness.

Marinette shakily raised her hand and reached out towards the area where it sounded like Tikki's voice was coming from. Through the empty air, Marinette slowly felt around for her small red kwami. Not once did she come into contact with anything. Around her was nothing but an empty abyss. She was completely alone. Isolated in a never-ending void. Doomed to always reach out for things that were not there. The longing for her faithful kwami would never be quenched.

She was gone.

Likely gone forever.

Marinette had tried everything. But…Tikki was never coming back…

An explosion of aching and longing tore through Marinette's chest, leaving her body feeling exposed to the elements. It was like someone had reached a hand into her chest and churned her organs up inside her, leaving her there broken and damaged beyond repair. Marinette was unsure how she hadn't bled to death at this point. Everything was slowly chipping away at her brain, taking a piece of her mind and sanity away with it, leaving the inside of her skull filled with nothing but pink mush that couldn't function properly as a human being.

Her burns could be healed. The psychical wounds could disappear. But the scars would always be there. Her mind would always remain damaged. There was no cure for the mental wounds that night had left her with. No hope of ever getting better. No hope of ever being normal again.

At those thoughts, the sensation of Tikki floating next to her disappeared. No longer could Marinette hear her sweet, reassuring voice. Now Marinette felt more alone than ever. Tikki was growing weaker, much like herself in some respects. It was all her fault that Tikki was in this mess. Marinette would never forgive herself for what happened to her kwami companion. Her dear friend.

A white light suddenly and gently radiated down towards Marinette, causing her to squint and look up at the source. It shone bright above her, starting off tiny before growing larger and larger and larger…

Marinette's eyes gently fluttered open before she abruptly closed them again, blinded by the brightness of her surroundings. Everything initially appeared white, burning her eyes as they struggled to adjust, having been shrouded in darkness for so long.

It took a few seconds for Marinette to realise that she was lying down on something soft, though from her chest upwards, she was angled up slightly at what felt like a forty-five degree angle. Her whole body felt heavy, like it was made of lead. She also felt sore and achy, like she had just been run over by a bus, and the dull, throbbing pain in the back of her head continued as it had done in her dream. Much like in her dream, her throat felt like she had swallowed a mouthful of sandpaper, leaving it feeling incredibly dry and scratchy.

Slowly, Marinette allowed her eyes to flutter open again, making sure to give them time to adjust to the bright light. The room around her was mainly white in colour. White ceiling and white walls which were occasionally interrupted by colourful posters warning against flu and other bacteria. The floor, however, was a light blue, reminding Marinette of a hazy sky on a warm summer's day.

She was alone in the small room, laying down on a large bed with crisp white sheets pulled up over her body. On the footboard at the end of her bed was a small soap dispenser, and plain counter tops were next to her, along with a red emergency button.

A hospital room?

What had happened? What was going on?

Panicking, Marinette looked down at herself to see a large needle sticking out of her hand, wrapped carefully in bandages, keeping it in place. Nothing was connected to it and the needle looked empty. She twisted her hand at every angle, looking at the needle in confusion before she noticed her bare arms. Her bare arms exposing her…

NO!

Gasping, Marinette pulled her sheets up as she realised she had been dressed in a hospital gown, her clothes neatly folded in a chair towards Marinette's right. Marinette could see the blood staining her white shirt.

Without thinking, keeping her eyes firmly locked on her black jacket, Marinette flung herself out of bed. Her vision blurred, turning slightly red around the edges as it suddenly felt like she was underwater. As that happened, Marinette stumbled forward, reaching her arms out to collapse onto the chair, burying her face in her clothes as she tightly gripped her jacket with her fingers.

Her vision finally cleared, and the dizzying sensation slowly went away, leaving her capable of lifting her head back up and picking up her jacket. Marinette carefully slipped herself inside, making sure not the knock the giant needle sticking out of her hand as she did so. Marinette sighed with relief once she was safely inside, but had the damage already been done? What if someone she knew had seen?

At those thoughts, Marinette's heart leapt into her throat, almost choking her.

Hearing footsteps echoing down the corridor outside getting closer and closer, Marinette swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and jumped back into bed, pulling the sheets over herself to hide as much of her body as possible. She grew increasingly uncomfortable and warm in her jacket, but she didn't care. She needed to keep it on.

The footsteps stopped outside of the door to the room where Marinette was before the door opened. A woman walked in, dressed in doctors' attire, and carrying a clipboard in her hand which she continued to read, not looking up as she closed the door behind her. Marinette watched her with wide frightened eyes as she approached the bed.

Finally, the doctor looked up and jumped slightly before smiling once she realised that Marinette was awake.

"It's good to see you wake, Miss Dupain-Cheng." The doctor smiled, pushing a strand of brunette hair behind her ear.

She looked over the papers on her clipboard again before looking back up and raising a confused eyebrow as the collar of Marinette's jacket peeked out from behind the sheets she was under.

"I –" Marinette rushed to try and explain.

"Don't worry," the doctor continued to smile warmly at her, "we doctors have seen much worse, trust me."

"It's not that, it's just…ha-has anyone else seen? Other than doctors?" Marinette stuttered, afraid of the answer.

Thankfully, the doctor shook her head.

"No one's been allowed to see you for the time being. I think your parents and a friend of yours are waiting, but we just need to give you another check-up before we let anyone in. It'll probably be another half an hour before they see you I'm afraid," the doctor explained before writing something down, biting her lip as she did so.

"Now Miss Dupain-Cheng, can you tell me where you are?"

"A hospital?"

"Very good. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I…" Marinette trailed off as all that came back to her were brief flashes.

Chat Noir grinning at her, pinning her against his body in the alleyway. The moment where Chat Noir had tried to take off with her, rambling insanely about how he needed to stash her away somewhere. Rena Rouge coming to her rescue before yelling at Marinette to run. After that, it was all a blank. Whenever Marinette tried to force herself to remember anything after that, it was like her mind kept hitting a brick wall, preventing her and locking her out from seeing those memories. Obviously something bad had happened for her to end up in hospital. Her whole body continued to ache, and the back of her head kept throbbing painfully.

"A little bit of memory loss is perfectly normal after a head trauma." The doctor kept writing.

"Head trauma?!" Marinette gasped.

"Oh don't worry, dear, it's nothing serious. You just required a few stitches, that's all," she explained, "they should dissolve on their own in a few weeks. You got trampled on by the crowd fleeing Chat Noir, Miss Dupain-Cheng. I'm guessing you must have hit your head as you fell. As for the rest of your body, you were quite lucky; just some minor bumps and bruises. You weren't the only one injured though. The hospitals of Paris have been so busy these past few hours with victims."

Marinette glanced downwards in shock, taking everything in that the doctor was telling her. Memories of terrified screams filled her mind. The blood covered face of Rena Rouge after Chat Noir had attacked her. The blood that seeped between her own fingers after she had touched the back of her head, wondering what the warm sensation had been.

Wait…Chat Noir…out during the day?! Had…had he been following her…just like he had promised? Was this disaster all Marinette's fault? If she had stayed inside like she normally did, then none of this would have happened. Or maybe she should have just let Chat Noir take her away. She had no clue what exactly he had wanted to do with her, but at least the citizens of Paris would have been safe. No one would have got hurt in the stampede of frightened civilians, fleeing the terrifying ex-hero in fear for their lives.

"You may regain all your memory, part of your memory or none at all. I'm afraid when it comes to amnesia, all we can do is guess I'm afraid." The doctor sighed. "Now I just need to assess how severe it is."

The doctor asked Marinette many questions. What day of the week it was, what month it was, and even the year. She asked Marinette who the current president of France was, who the mayor of Paris was, what school she went to, along with the names of her parents and friends. Marinette managed to answer them all. The doctor was confident that her memory loss only extended to the minutes leading up to her falling unconscious.

Once she was done questioning an exhausted Marinette, the doctor pulled something out from the pocket of her jacket before pointing it at Marinette's face.

"If you could just keep your eyes on my finger please," the doctor instructed, holding her finger up.

Marinette did as she was told, jumping slightly as a bright light was shone directly into one of her eyes. Marinette followed her finger any time she moved it, all the while the doctor shone the light into her eyes, assessing her.

"Looking good," the doctor mumbled to herself before writing everything down on her clipboard before perking up and smiling at Marinette. "You're doing fine, Miss Dupain-Cheng. You would probably be doing a lot worse if it wasn't for your guardian angel."

That caught Marinette's immediate attention.

"What?"

"The boy who saved you," the doctor explained. "Apparently he found you and carried you all the way to the hospital. Is he a boyfriend of yours?"

"Boy? What boy? I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh." The doctor frowned. "Well he certainly seemed to care a lot about you. I don't know who he was, he didn't leave a name. He wore jeans and a black sweatshirt with the hood up, so I'm afraid I couldn't tell you what he looked like other than the fact he was tall and thin. He dropped you off here and then he just seemed to disappear."

Marinette frowned in confusion. Could some random person on the street have saved her? Why would they carry her all that way to the hospital? That must have been quite an arduous journey while carrying her dead weight. Surely it would have been easier to have just sat with her while waiting for an ambulance? And why Marinette? Out of the all the victims of the event, why was she singled out by this one strange boy? It all seemed so weird and unbelievable.

"Anyway," the doctor said, interrupting Marinette's deep thoughts, "I need to go and update your records and speak to your parents. I'll send them in to see you shortly. In the meantime, if something happens, just push that red emergency button next to your bed and a doctor will be with you swiftly."

Marinette nodded before the doctor turned and walked out of the room. She snuggled down into her sheets, making sure that her jacket was hidden from view so her parents wouldn't ask her any questions about it. No one she knew had seen, thank goodness. She was beginning to sweat from the heat, but she didn't care. Instead, she continued to stare up at the ceiling, frowning as she thought of the boy who had seemingly saved her. Who was he? Why didn't he leave a name? As weird and confusing as the situation was, Marinette would still like to thank him for what he did.

 _Tap tap._

Startled, Marinette whipped her head around towards the window on the left side of the hospital room and nearly screamed at the sight of Chat Noir grinning at her from the other side of the glass. Once she had spotted him, her carefully opened the window and climbed inside. His grin faltered as his green eyes took her in laying there on the hospital bed, and something flashed behind his eyes.

"You're okay," he gasped out quietly, but Marinette ignored him. Her thoughts were focused on waiting for the appropriate time to reach down and press the emergency button. She didn't want that crazy cat anywhere near her. All he continued to do was bring nothing but trouble and pain into her life.

Why couldn't he just leave her alone?!

Unfortunately, it seemed like Chat Noir immediately caught onto what she was trying to do. Faster than a bolt of lightning, he leapt around her bed, swiped hold of the button, and waved it in the air, smirking at her. Marinette gazed at him with wide eyes before glaring at him.

"You weren't going to tell on little old me, were you, my princess?" Chat pretended to sound upset.

"Give that back," Marinette demanded flatly, forcing herself to sit up, ignoring the dizzying sensation in her head as she did so.

Chat Noir gasped. "And have the whole world know that the legendary Chat Noir is after you?"

"That's blackmail!" Marinette hissed.

"Or better yet," Chat Noir held the button out towards her. "Press it. I _want_ the whole world to know about us. I want everyone who could possibly cause you harm to stay away from you. I want all of Paris to know that you belong to me. No one will dare touch you once they know."

Marinette felt her breath get caught in her throat and almost choke her.

"You really are completely insane!"

Chat Noir grinned from ear to ear at her, flashing his perfect white teeth which glittered in the bright light of the room. Marinette continued to glare at him, her eyes darting from the button to his face and back again. Her hand twitched, ready to seize the button off him.

If she called for help, the doctors, nurses, and security would likely get hurt. Not to mention, it would give Chat Noir the satisfaction of the whole of Paris knowing. Marinette wasn't going to give him what he wanted. At those thoughts, Marinette relaxed back down into bed and glared up at the ceiling.

"Good girl," Chat purred.

"Don't patronise me," Marinette hissed and cringed in disgust.

"You're looking and sounding a lot better," Chat noted, sounding almost…normal?

This took Marinette by surprise. She dropped her glare and turned to stare at him, and all the while he stared back, his eyes scanning her body, taking every inch of her in. He frowned as he caught sight of her wearing her jacket before he stepped towards her, reaching his arms out to grab it.

"Aren't you warm in that?"

"NO!" Marinette yelled, shuffling as far away from him as possible, clinging onto her jacket like her life depended on it. "Leave me alone!"

"It was only a suggestion." Chat rolled his eyes. "No need to go all crazy on me."

"You've got a lot of nerve," Marinette growled.

"Grape?" Chat Noir grinned, ignoring her comments, holding up some grapes.

"What?"

"I believe it is common practice to bring a hospital patient some grapes." Chat Noir smiled at her innocently.

Marinette laid there, completely speechless at how utterly insane Chat was behaving. It shouldn't come as a surprise at this point, yet it always did. There were brief moments where he almost looked and sounded like his old self. Like the Chat Noir she used to know. The playful, cocky, easy going and fun loving boy who would always be by her side as her partner and friend.

It pained her. Mocked her with memories that had her constantly yearning for what was. Yearning for the beautiful and peaceful lie that Chat Noir would always be there for her.

Marinette guessed it really was true that ignorance was bliss. She wanted to rewind time. To go back to where everything was fine and normal. To when she was still an innocent teenager, bumbling about, trying to balance school and her secret identity as one of Paris' most beloved heroes.

However, Chat still mainly was the insane villain Paris had now forced to become accustomed to. The Chat Noir who now seemed completely detached from reality. The insane Chat Noir who had betrayed her all those years ago and very well nearly caused her demise. The same Chat Noir who was now a plague on her life, serving as a reminder of her failures and the mental scars which refused to heal. Marinette couldn't afford to start associating Chat Noir with his old self. That would be dangerous beyond words.

Marinette found herself brought out of her thoughts by Chat Noir waving a gape in front of her face, laughing childishly before trying to gently force one into her mouth. Marinette growled and smacked his hand away before folding her arms across her chest, glaring straight ahead, refusing the look at the crazy cat next to her.

"No thanks," Marinette huffed.

Chat Noir shrugged. "Suit yourself."

He stabbed one of the grapes with one of his claws before biting it off, chewing slowly as he kept his eyes firmly locked on Marinette.

"Mmm, juicy," he purred, "want a taste?"

He leaned down towards her, pursing his lips slightly and closing his eyes.

Marinette yelped and pushed his face roughly away from hers while Chat Noir burst out laughing at her reaction.

"Will you just suffocate me with my pillow already and get it over with?" Marinette mumbled with dry sarcasm as Chat Noir continued to laugh.

At her words, Chat Noir abruptly stopped laughing and glared at her. "That's not funny."

Marinette grabbed hold of her pillow and pulled it over her face. "I've got better things to do than babysit an insane stray cat. Like going home and never coming out of my room again. Because every time I seem to leave my room, stuff like today always happens. It's so unfair."

"Who said _you w_ ere babysitting _me?_ "

"Your childish attitude," Marinette huffed.

Chat scoffed. "Says the girl whining about how unfair life is."

Marinette could feel tears welling up in her eyes, ready to spill over at any second. Sobs rose up in her throat, and Marinette pressed her lips tightly together to prevent them from escaping. Hearing his voice. Hearing him talk like this. Bantering with her almost like the old days. It was becoming too much to bear.

How could he have done this to her? Betray her and then keep coming back into her life like this to continuously hurt her with painful reminders. It really was like the universe was playing a cruel joke on her. Fate just had to stick the knife in even more by having Chat Noir not leave her alone.

"Marinette?" Chat's voice sounded distant.

He easily wrestled the pillow off her and gasped as he caught sight of the tears in her eyes. His own eyes softened, staring at her just like the way he used to stare at Ladybug years ago. Chat Noir thought that she had never noticed him doing it, but she did. It had pained her that she could never return his feelings like that. Marinette had always hoped that Chat Noir would move on. Well…she got her wish alright. He moved on way too far. Siding with Hawkmoth to steal her miraculous – the ultimate betrayal.

Those memories tipped Marinette over the edge. Her grip on reality loosened as those painful memories flashed before her eyes. Her breaths came out in harsh gasps, desperate for air as it felt like a snake was coiling around her throat, squeezing her neck in its vice like grip and preventing her from breathing. Her heart began pounding to the point where it felt like she would go into cardiac arrest. Surely it was impossible for a heart to beat this quickly? She must be having a heart attack or something!

"Hey, shhhh." Chat climbed into bed next to her, scooping her up into his arms and holding her close to his chest. "Calm down, it's okay."

He cuddled her close to him, rubbing soothing circles on her arm as he gripped her tightly.

But Marinette could barely register what was going on. Her eyes remained wide and unblinking as she struggled to breathe. This was it. She was dying. At least, that's how it felt. The snake around her neck squeezed even tighter, causing Marinette to gasp for even more air. The tips of Marinette's fingers felt like they were going numb as they tingled from what felt like little pin pricks. Her stomach twisted into tight knots, and Marinette worried that she might be sick. All the while she barely registered Chat Noir rocking her back and forth.

The way he held her tightly. It was just like the way he held her the night before he betrayed her. Instinctively, Marinette breathed in his familiar, intoxicating scent and nuzzled herself against him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

It was him. It was the old Chat. Things were back to the way they used to be. This had all just been one long nightmare. Chat Noir would _never_ betray her. He was her partner. Her best friend. He was here with her right now, holding her and comforting her like normal. Her kitty…

Gradually, the snake that had coiled around Marinette's neck loosened and she could breathe again. Her heart slowly calmed down, maintaining a steady pace in her chest. As everything calmed, it left Marinette feeling completely and utterly exhausted. The spinning in her mind slowed, sending her crashing back down to reality with a painful bump. Someone was holding her tightly in their lap, and Marinette panicked, remembering everything.

Chat Noir gasped as Marinette pushed him away and all but leapt off his lap like he was infected with a horrible disease that she didn't want to catch. Being in his arms like that…being so close to him…Marinette felt disgusted with herself. She was supposed to be staying away from Chat Noir as much as possible, not letting him back into her life and letting him embrace her like that.

He was a traitor. He was a monster. He was insane. He was pure evil. Marinette needed to hammer it into her head again that, despite the fact that he might sound like it sometimes, he wasn't the Chat Noir she used to know.

"My la – princess?" Chat Noir quickly corrected himself, sounding dazed and confused.

Marinette caught his initial error though, and she balled her hands into angry fists, struggling to resist the urge to lash out at him. Was he projecting? Was that what this was _really_ all about? It wasn't Marinette he was obsessed with, it was Ladybug.

Of course.

Why did she expect anything different?

Marinette knew she needed to push him away and put a stop to this for good. If he was projecting Ladybug onto her, then did that mean he had some suspicions? Marinette couldn't allow him to find out for sure.

"Please leave," Marinette commanded, refusing to look at him.

"This again." Chat Noir chuckled maniacally.

And he was back again.

That gave Marinette all the resolve she needed.

"I said, leave me alone!" Marinette yelled. "Haven't you caused enough trouble for one day?! All of this happened because of you!" She jabbed a finger into his chest which he caught before he gripped her wrist tightly.

"It happened because of that stupid fox," Chat growled, "if she hadn't have interrupted, I would have got you to safety. If she hadn't been chasing after me and forcing you away, I wouldn't have had to reveal myself to the crowd. You can't keep blaming me for all your problems."

Marinette froze before glaring at him.

"But fine, I'll leave the room, but this doesn't mean I'll be leaving you alone." He leaned down to whisper in her ear, "far from it, little princess."

A shiver ran down Marinette's spine as his words and close proximity sent tingles throughout her entire body. Chat let go of her arm and leaned away from her again before grabbing something he had stored behind him in his leather belt. He pulled out a small, red rose that had yet to bloom, and left it on the counter next to Marinette's bed. All Marinette could do was watch with wide eyes as he then turned and walked back towards the window. With one final smirk, Chat Noir winked at her before climbing out the window and disappearing from view.

Marinette remained frozen for several more minutes, trying to process what had just happened, but failed to do so. Finally, Marinette managed to shake her head slightly before frowning as she slowly reached towards the rose Chat Noir had left for her. Attached to the green stem with a thin piece of string as a small note folded in half. Curiously, Marinette opened the note to find one word written in black ink from what looked like a fancy, expensive pen.

 _Sorry._

Sorry?

Sorry for what? For treating her like he did? For terrorising her? Terrorising Paris and causing the panic fuelled disaster he had earlier? He had told her a few minutes ago to stop blaming him for everything and now he was apologising? Marinette couldn't get her head around it. It was like two polar opposite personalities existed inside him, each one battling for dominance.

Marinette looked up to stare out of the window Chat Noir had vanished out of before a knock on the door made her jump. Hastily, Marinette hid the rose under her sheets just in time. The door opened and in walked the same doctor, closely followed by a very determined looking Rena Rouge. Marinette watched them both in confusion, wondering what was going on.

"Miss Dupain-Cheng, Rena Rouge needs to speak with you," the doctor explained.

"Okay?" Marinette agreed, confused.

"Your parents will be in a moment and your friend Alya said she needed to go outside and make some quick calls to your other friends to let them know that you're okay." The doctor then looked to Rena Rouge. "I'll leave you both to it."

The doctor left the room, and Marinette gasped as Rena Rouge finally faced her full on. Her face was covered in scratches and she looked in pretty bad shape. Guilt overwhelmed Marinette as she stared at her best friend's face. She was the reason this happened. Chat Noir was right. She needed to stop blaming him and take responsibility for her own actions. If she had just done what Master Fu had said and done her duty from the beginning then none of this would have happened. Maybe if she had tried harder with Tikki…

"I'm sorry to disturb you and keep you from your friends and family, but this couldn't wait," Rena Rouge began formally, leaning on her hands against the footboard of Marinette's bed.

"What is it?" Marinette asked slightly timidly.

"It's about Chat Noir. I've had my suspicions, but today they were confirmed. It would seem Chat Noir has developed some sort of obsession with you. Though I'm sure that's no news to you." Rena Rouge raised an eyebrow at her, daring her to even make an attempt at lying.

Marinette sighed. "Yes."

"Do you have any idea how or why this started?"

Marinette shook her head.

Rena Rouge ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "None of this is making any sense. The only person who has ever sparked this kind of behaviour in him was…well…Ladybug."

Marinette cringed at the name.

"So…Chat Noir went crazy after Ladybug died?" Marinette inquired as innocently as possible.

"Yeah."

"Well…how do you know it wasn't before Ladybug died that he went crazy?"

Rena Rouge frowned and leaned forward slightly. "Why? Do you know something I don't?"

"No," Marinette answered a little too quickly, "I was just wondering."

"He was perfectly normal…well…as normal as possible after the whole thing had happened. Back when there was still hope that Ladybug would be recovered and that she would be alright. It wasn't until the city began to lose hope and after the funeral was held that he lost his mind," the fox hero explained.

Marinette frowned in confusion.

"I wish she was here." Rena Rouge sighed. "Ladybug would know exactly what to do. She wouldn't let Chat Noir get away with all of this. She'd seize his miraculous and save the city." She then looked down sadly. "She'd do a much better job than what I'm currently doing."

"Don't think like that!" Marinette gasped. "You're doing your best, and that's what's most important. You give the city hope."

Rena Rouge's eyes widened before she smiled and chuckled. "That sounds like something Ladybug would say."

Marinette gulped.

Rena Rouge then frowned again. "There's definitely something strange going on. After beginning to look into things, there's just something about what happened all those years ago that just isn't adding up. Chat's strange behaviour now is making me question things even more."

Marinette bit her lip, praying that Rena Rouge would leave that train of thought alone.

"Anyway," Rena Rouge said as she smiled again, causing Marinette to let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding, "thank you for your time. I won't keep you from your parents any longer. I was just wondering if you knew why Chat Noir was suddenly obsessing over you."

"If I knew, I'd certainly tell you," Marinette said.

"I know." The fox hero sighed. "Stay out of trouble, and I'll try and get Chat Noir off your back. It doesn't _seem_ like he might hurt you at the moment. But if he tries to take you away again, just yell and scream and I'll come running."

"Thanks, Rena Rouge." Marinette smiled gratefully.

Rena Rouge nodded before turning around to walk out of the door. After visiting Marinette as her civilian self for appearances sake, she would need to have a word with Queen Bee and Carapace about this whole situation. Not to mention, she definitely felt like she needed to have an urgent talk with Master Fu.

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 **Eeeek, this chapter went on a little too long, but there was nothing unimportant I could omit without it causing it to make little sense. Oh well. Hmmmmm. Me thinks Alya may be starting to smell a rat. I hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter. Feel free to let me know your thoughts and opinions in a review as they always are a great help to me. I make sure to read every single of them and take on board what you say. Thank you for reading, I'll see you guys soon.**


	10. Unhinged Desires

**Hi everyone and welcome back! I hope you've all been having a lovely week. It's a perfect, beautiful rainy day to be writing a chapter for this story. Once again thank you so much for the awesome reviews. They really help me out. Also thank you to everyone who has followed this story or added it to their favourites. I really appreciate all of your support.**

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 **Chapter 10: Unhinged Desires**

The cool night breeze blew gently through Chat Noir's hair as he stared up at the large full moon above him. The city of Paris was laid out before him, quiet and deserted with nothing but a few lights from buildings to illuminate the city in a dull, yellow glow. The Eiffel Tower's sparkle was just about visible near the horizon as he remained perched on a tall building, Notre Dame's silhouette standing tall just to his left. The river Seine flowed as black as night below.

Despite the eerie darkness and silence, Chat Noir felt content, so much so that he leaned back, resting against his hands, enjoying the presence of his lady beside him. Ladybug said nothing, maintaining the silence of the night as she stared up at the moon.

Chat Noir couldn't resist turning to look at her. His eyes scanned every inch of her perfect body, always unable to keep his eyes away from her for extended periods of time. It was like Ladybug was his sun. Too dangerous to look at, but too powerful and bright to resist. Now that he was looking at her, there was no looking away. Once again he had fallen victim to her strong gravitational pull, for he was a mere humble planet. A dull rock, forever circling her and basking in her light and warmth. Depending on her for life. She was his everything. She was what brought his world to life.

Unable to resist her pull, he shuffled slightly closer towards her to a point where their shoulders were touching. A pleasant shiver travelled from Chat's shoulder to his brain and to his heart, making it beat faster in his chest. He continued to watch her looking at the moon. A small smile teased her features, her eyes closing, and her cheeks turned pink as she sensed him staring at her.

Chat didn't care that he had been caught though. His eyes continued to drink in every inch of her being, yearning to reach out and touch her. Clenching his hands into fists under his weight, Chat Noir forced off the urge, terrified of scaring her away. Ladybug wasn't exactly the best when it came to emotions and demonstrations of affections.

"What are you thinking of?" Chat asked softly, sensing the gears turning in her head.

Ladybug sighed. "Just how I don't want this night to end. It's so beautiful out tonight."

"Yes it is." Chat smiled at her, still not taking his eyes off her.

Ladybug giggled. "You're not even paying attention to the night."

"Why would I want to when you're sat there?"

A delicate blush coated Ladybug's cheeks as she bit her lip and continued to look away. Chat Noir didn't like that. He wanted to see her beautiful blue eyes. He longed for them to look at him the way she looked at him. Desiring nothing more, Chat reached out and gently cupped one of her cheeks with his hand, slowly bring her face around to look at him.

Ladybug relented, still biting her lip, which had Chat craving to know what her lips tasted like. Did she taste just as sweet as she smelled? Chat _needed_ to know. His whole body and ached and longed for her.

Ladybug's blue eyes twinkled slightly in the moonlight, her facial expression giving very little away as always. In that moment, Chat Noir wished he was Adrien, so he could feel her soft skin beneath his bare hand.

Ladybug licked her lips slightly, bringing his attention back down to them. His burning desire could not be controlled any longer. Completely losing control, Chat Noir found himself slowly leaning down towards her as if his body was on autopilot; he was a slave to his instincts. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to just lean in. He was slightly spurred on by the fact that Ladybug did not lean away. She remained frozen and unmoving next to him. Her eyes fluttered slightly, and a slight dent formed between her eyes in uncertainty.

Still, Chat Noir leaned closer, their lips tantalisingly close as he became completely engulfed in her intoxicating scent.

Whatever ounce of control Chat Noir had left became lost as he drowned in her sweet scent. With one last gasp, he closed the last inch of teasing distance between them, pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was slow and unsure first as Chat Noir tested her. Ladybug responded to the kiss gently and innocently at first, seemingly unsure of what to do. Chat took the lead, moving his lips slowly against hers before reluctantly pulling away, licking his lips in the hopes of a taste. Ladybug did indeed seem to taste as good as she smelled, and it had Chat Noir instantly craving more and more and more. He wanted it all, for always and forever.

Surprisingly, and much to his internal delight, Ladybug seemed to automatically lean forward, silently begging him for more. Chat Noir was more than happy to oblige. With a wild urgency, Chat Noir pressed his lips against Ladybug's once again, this time more confidently and fiercely. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, pinning her body against his. A shiver went down his spine as Ladybug's fingers entangled themselves in his messy blond hair. Their lips moulded perfectly together, and soon, Chat Noir couldn't resist tracing his tongue along them, desperate to taste her some more.

Ladybug whimpered at his actions, and Chat Noir was worried he had gone too far when Ladybug slowly opened her mouth slightly, deepening the kiss and allowing him to explore some more. Kissing Ladybug was better than anything Chat Noir had ever imagined. He explored her mouth hungrily, their tongues blissfully dancing together, unable to get enough of each other.

Much too soon, they needed to break apart for air. They both pulled apart, maintaining only a few inches between them, making sure they weren't kept apart for too long as they panted, their chests brushing each other's as they did so.

Once they had enough air, their lips desperately clashed again and they were free to passionately explore each other's mouths again. Chat Noir moved one hand up to grip her hair, pushing her face even more against his own as he desperately tried to taste every inch of her. She was a drug that he just couldn't get enough of, longing for the high that the smell of her, the taste of her, the feel of her brought him.

Ladybug pulled back, gasping for air, but Chat Noir refused to be parted from her. He trailed kisses down from her lips down to her neck before nibbling and suckling at her delectable skin. He knew it would leave marks, but he didn't care. Chat wanted the world to know. Wanted Ladybug to proudly sport the marks he had given her, proclaiming to the whole world that she was his and he was hers. At this new sensation, Ladybug's back arch slightly and she gasped.

"Chat…" she moaned breathlessly while trembling beneath him.

Chat Noir moved from her neck and back to her lips. Time seemed to stand still. He wasn't sure how long they had been in passionate embrace with each other. Minutes. Hours. Days. He didn't care though. Chat Noir could spend an eternity like this, exploring his lady's body, tasting and worshiping every inch of her. He slowly moved his hand down, tracing every inch of her hourglass waist.

But then something made him stop.

Despite his leather suit he could just about feel something warm staining his hands as he traced her body.

Startled, he broke away from the kiss and glanced down at his hand. Red liquid dripped between his fingers, the little droplets staining the roof beneath them.

Blood.

Where had it come from? Panicked, Chat looked back at his lady's waist. Her suit was torn and covered in blood. Shards of glass protruded from her skin, piercing her skin like sharp blades. Blood poured from these wounds, but that wasn't the only thing that had Chat Noir gasping in horror. Patches of Ladybug's skin appeared to be missing as if someone had attempted to skin her alive. Red muscle was exposed and bleeding out onto the roof and onto his suit, drenching him in hot, red blood. Her skin was gruesomely blistered, the yellow blotches standing out in nothing but an ocean of crimson blood.

His heart leaping into his mouth, and deep feeling of terror forming in his gut, Chat Noir looked up to his lady's face, scared and horrified over what was going on. Marinette's bright blue eyes stared back at him, a grimace visible on her face, twisting from one emotion to the next in a concoction of anger, disgust and pain. Chat Noir stared at her, his eyes wide in horror as Marinette leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"You did this to me," she whispered as the bells of Notre Dame chimed.

"Adrien, wake up!"

"GAH!" Adrien cried out as he was startled awake, sitting bolt upright in the chair he had fallen asleep on.

The living room of the Agreste mansion was dark around him, all of the curtains drawn to keep the outside world away from him. Plagg hovered over him, glaring at him before he began floating slowly away.

"Someone's at the door," Plagg explained flatly before zooming off, likely to hide with a stash of cheese.

As his kwami disappeared, the doorbell rang again, this time slightly more aggressively. Adrien frowned, wondering if he should just ignore it and hope that they would go away. He laid back down, allowing his eyes to flutter closed again, feeling completely and utterly exhausted. He reached into his jean pocket and clung onto Ladybug's ribbon, tears burning in his eyes as memories of his dream came flooding back to him.

It had just been a dream.

Ladybug wasn't alive. She wasn't kissing him. She had never loved him like that. She hadn't been given a chance to develop those feelings. And it was all thanks to him. Adrien moaned in pain at that thought. He would never get to feel those sweet lips against his own now. He would never feel her touch again. Now all that he had left was the never ending pain.

The doorbell rang again. Clearly this person wasn't going to give up. With a huff, Adrien reluctantly got to his feet before stumbling as a dizzying sensation overcame him. His vision turned red, and purple veins were visible in the corners of his eyes. Adrien groaned and closed his eyes before opening them again. The sensation finally disappeared, and his vision went back to normal.

That was weird.

However, Adrien thought little of it as he trudged his way to the security system. The doorbell rang loudly again causing Adrien to growl. Why couldn't people just leave him alone?!

Switching on the outside camera, Adrien sighed when he realised it was only Nino. His best friend looked pretty desperate to see him, jumping around outside, trying to get a better look over the fence. Adrien stared at the microphone next to him, debating for a few seconds before he reluctantly switched it on.

"What do you want, Nino?" Adrien asked miserably.

"Ah, Adrien, I knew you were in there, dude. I came by this morning, but you didn't answer," Nino explained quickly.

"I was asleep," Adrien lied, Marinette's face beginning to intoxicate his mind once again.

Adrien twitched at the thought of her, the unhinged desires within him begging him to just transform now and go and see her. Every second he was away from her was torturous agony, not knowing whether she was safe or not. She had told him to go away, and like a fool, he had listened to her command. It was like he completely lacked free will whenever he was around her, losing what was left of his mind, desperate to keep her safe.

He had no idea what he had been thinking when he tried to steal her away. Being away from her allowed him to clear his head slightly. In that moment, it was like he was looking at Ladybug again, and that time, he was determined to keep her safe and make sure nothing happened to her. Where he would have taken her, he didn't know. He just knew that he had to get away with her. To be by her side. Being around her made him feel both better and worse at the same time. She unlocked something within him. Something that had long been stashed away and forgotten about.

"Dude…?" Nino's voice rescued Adrien from the depths of his own mind.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said, can I come in, man? I've got some important news," Nino practically begged.

Adrien sighed before opening the gates. He watched on the screen as Nino practically ran towards the front door. Adrien made sure the gates closed behind his friend before heaving himself up and heading towards the front door. He opened it, allowing a now nervous looking Nino inside. Adrien watched as Nino looked around the mansion, concern on his features, before he nervously looked at Adrien.

"Hey, Adrien, are you okay?" Nino asked slowly.

Adrien felt himself twitching again slightly as his mind once again became distracted by thoughts of Marinette. Was she safe? Had she been released from the hospital yet? Were her parents looking after her properly? Had she gotten his little note?

At that thought, Adrien's eyes became drawn towards the ink pen on the cabinet next to the main entrance. The pen he had snapped in half after writing that one word on the piece of paper. He had meant that word. He was sorry that for some reason, Marinette had become an obsession of his lately. He wasn't sure why. But no matter how sorry he was over the whole thing, especially since him stalking her that day had led to her getting injured, he knew he would never be able to stop.

Adrien had little to no energy left to fight the madness within him. He was gripping onto that ledge only by one finger now. Soon it would be too late. Adrien would be gone. At least at the moment he had _some_ semblance of control. But that wouldn't last much longer. What did he want with Marinette? Adrien wasn't sure. He just knew that his instincts and subconscious were crying out for her. He _had_ to be near her.

"Adrien!" Nino snapped a finger in front of Adrien's face, looking more and more panicked.

Adrien shook his head. "Sorry, what were we talking about?"

"I asked if you were okay?" Nino repeated, narrowing his eyes as he examined his best friend's pale face.

"I'm fine," Adrien lied again.

He knew he looked like a wreck, and he knew he wasn't fooling anyone. No longer did he make any effort with his appearance like his father had forced him to do all his life. He just wore simple clothes that felt comfortable. He also only ate when Plagg finally decided to force feed him, so Adrien knew he must have lost an unhealthy amount of weight over the years. In fact, he wasn't even sure when the last time he showered was. Usually he only did it when Plagg or Nino made a complaint.

The days were such a blur. Every day he would just lay in bed or lounge around on the couch, nothing in the world interested him any longer. It was like he was surrounded by a thick mist that permanently shrouded his world in darkness. Ladybug had been his sun, and she was no longer there to illuminate his world and provide warmth. He had lost the ability to support life.

But with Marinette…he could almost feel some of that warmth again. Adrien was now a rogue planet, starting to feel the gravitational pull of a new sun: Marinette. She was slowly breathing some semblance of life back into him. Maybe that was why he was so desperate to protect her. He had already lost one sun, Adrien certainly wasn't going to allow himself to lose another.

But what did he feel for Marinette? A dangerous obsession was the obvious answer. But she was just a friend and always had been. He had never really looked twice at her. She was just a quiet, shy girl who used to sit behind him in class. Adrien almost felt guilty. Obsessing over this girl for seemingly no reason. He felt like he was betraying…

Squinting his eyes shut to force the tears back, Adrien turned away from Nino. He opened his eyes again, staring at the large mirror in the main hall of the mansion before his eyes widened in horror. Standing behind him in the mirror, was the reflection of Ladybug. She stared at Adrien through the reflection, her eyes angry and betrayed as she watched him, as if she had read his thoughts.

Screaming, Adrien twisted back around to see nothing but the terrified face of Nino. No sign of Ladybug. Adrien stopped screaming, gasping for air instead as he turned back to look in the mirror, sweat dripping down his forehead as he reached into his pocket to cling to the ribbon again.

Ladybug was gone.

"Ummm…" Nino squeaked, "that didn't look or sound okay to me, Adrien."

"I –" Adrien gasped, his eyes still wide as he looked around the room for any sign of Ladybug. "I just thought I saw something."

"Right," Nino replied, sounding slightly spooked as he looked at Adrien as if he had suddenly grown an extra head. "Maybe it's best if you sit down. You look a little ill today."

"Yeah…sit." Adrien continued to look around the room, though he tried to be more subtle about it this time, afraid that Nino would start asking questions.

Trying to keep as calm as possible while he internally screamed, Adrien followed Nino back into the living room, both of them collapsing onto the couch.

Nino gave Adrien one last wary look before he cleared his throat to speak. "Did you hear about Chat Noir yesterday?"

"No, what?" Adrien lied, trying to look as innocent as possible while his hands twitched in his lap. Adrien clasped them and unclasped them in a desperate attempt to hide the tremors and twitching from Nino.

"He came out during the day!" Nino exclaimed. "Alya was shopping nearby when it happened, but luckily she's okay…Marinette on the other hand…remember her?"

Adrien gulped and nodded. The mention of Marinette had him twitching even more. He ran a shaky hand through his hair, trying desperately to contain the feelings bubbling up in his chest again. _Need to see her, need to see her, need to see her,_ his insane, obsessive subconscious kept screaming at him, begging and pleading to get its fix of the girl.

No!

Adrien desperately fought it back, determined not to slip in front of Nino. Then Nino would figure out everything and it would be game over. His miraculous would be taken and he would likely be thrown into the same mental hospital as his father, never to see Marinette again.

 _Keep it together,_ Adrien begged himself.

"Yeah." Adrien tried to sound as normal as possible. "I remember her."

"Well she got caught in the stampede," Nino explained, "someone must have hit her head in the process and knocked her unconscious. Apparently some random citizen carried her all the way to hospital. I wish I knew who that guy was so I could thank him. Even though I don't see her much now, Marinette is still a dear friend to me."

Adrien's mouth twitched into a smirk, but he fought it off before frowning in confusion. "How come you don't see much of Marinette now, I always thought you, her and Alya were close?"

"Yeah, we were, still are I guess." Nino sighed. "It's just Marinette hasn't been herself these last few years. She went away for a while and no one knew where she went. She just said she had stayed with some family in China, but then her story changed to her being on a fashion course. When she got back, her hair had been cut short and…she had just completely changed. She wouldn't speak to anyone and wouldn't want to hang out anymore. When she wasn't in school, she just locked herself in her room. Alya and I have tried to help, but…nothing seemed to work. I think she might be depressed or something."

"What happened to cause her to change?" Adrien certainly was curious to find out why the once sweet and innocent Marinette had turned into a cynical, damaged shell of her former self. Maybe now was finally his chance as Nino still ventured into the outside world unlike Adrien.

"We don't know, that's what has us all so confused." Nino frowned. "I wish we did know because then maybe we could help her. Marinette's like a sister to me now and I hate seeing her in so much pain."

Adrien frowned as well. It must have been something big and bad for Marinette to keep it a secret from her closest friends. Marinette had never really struck Adrien as a big secret keeper. From what he could remember, Marinette had always worn her heart on her sleeve and never really kept her problems to herself. She was always grateful for the help of a friend, and if she had a problem, she fixed it. It was something Adrien had always admired about her. Her confidence, her will power, her desire to always do the right thing. It had always reminded him of…his lady.

"I'm sorry for barging in," Nino apologised, "I've just been so stressed trying to be there for Alya. She was in bits when she found out what happened to Marinette, and I know you have your own issues to deal with and I'm really sorry."

"It's fine," Adrien reassured him, "it distracts me from my own problems."

Memories of a broken Marinette when she was in hospital began pounding on the inside of his skull. The way she had clung onto him…in a way, Chat Noir had liked that. Being a pillar of comfort for her felt nice. Making her feel better almost made him feel better.

 _Almost._

Soon enough, Marinette had quickly retreated back into herself after having given Chat Noir an accidental glimpse of what was going on inside herself. Her pain, as she lay sobbing and quivering in his arms, had reminded him of how he felt every day.

Shaking his head, Adrien repressed a groan as once again the insane side of him began begging and pleading once again to see Marinette; he needed to see that she was okay. What if she was crying on her own right now and he wasn't there for her?

Losing control of his body for a split second, Adrien stood up, ready to summon Plagg to transform him, but he managed to stop himself just in time. He looked down to see Nino looking up at him in confusion before slowly standing up as well.

"Sorry." Adrien placed a hand on his forehead and closed his eyes, willing himself to try and get a grip. "I thought I saw something again."

"It's okay, I need to get going anyway," Nino said, "I just wanted to come and see if you were okay and to tell you the news about what happened earlier today."

"Thanks." Adrien held back a sigh of relief at the fact that Nino was leaving.

He deeply cared for Nino, but he just didn't have any energy left in him to maintain friendships anymore. He appreciated that Nino still cared enough to come and check on him, but Adrien felt like Nino was fighting a losing battle at this point. There was nothing anyone could do for Adrien now. Unless they owned a magic wand they would wave and make these last four years disappear and change what happened that night. But Adrien would never be so lucky. This was the never ending nightmare he found himself tormented by.

Feeling slightly guilty over being a terrible friend, Adrien followed Nino towards the front door. As the door opened, Nino stopped as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out and checked it, smiling when he read whatever message he had received.

"That's awesome news! Marinette has been discharged from hospital."

That caught Adrien's immediate attention. He tried to make sure to try and act as normal as possible, while on the inside, his stomach was doing excited flips, while the other half of him that he kept buried and hidden away from Nino began begging once again to go and see Marinette. The news that she had been discharged was music to his ears. It meant that she was getting better.

Nino turned back to say goodbye to Adrien before he froze as he caught sight of something on Adrien's black sweatshirt.

"What's that?" Nino asked before his eyes widened. "Is that _blood?!_ "

Adrien looked down and sure enough there was what looked like a dark bloodstain just beneath his shoulder. Marinette's blood. Feeling sick at the thought, Adrien quickly searched through his brain for an excuse.

"I-I cut myself a few days ago, I didn't even noticed it had stained," Adrien lied.

"That looks like a lot of blood for a simple cut. Are you sure you're okay?" Nino asked, not looking convinced as he narrowed his eyes at the stain.

"It's fine. Nothing to worry about." Adrien forced a smile.

Though Nino remained unconvinced, he checked the time on his phone and gasped before quickly giving Adrien a rushed goodbye. Adrien stood at the door, watching as his friend left, once again making sure the gates closed behind him and sealed him away from the world once again. No one could see Adrien. The son of the man – the villain – who had been terrorising Paris for years, akumatizing their loved ones and using them for his own means.

He was deeply ashamed, sickened at the thought of his father's actions. His father had been the one to deliver the fatal blow on Ladybug. The fatal blow that led to her hurtling out of the window to her death below. His own father had murdered the love of his life in cold blood. And Adrien had let it happen.

With tears forming in his eyes, Adrien once again glanced down at the blood stain on his shoulder. He then glanced down at his hands, blood also staining his black, leather gloves. It stained almost every inch of his body, dripping down his suit and onto the ground beneath him. Smoke choked the air around him, but Chat Noir breathed none of it in as he stood there, unable to breathe over what he had just done.

But now was not the time to dwell on that. His father had gotten what was coming to him. His priority now was finding Ladybug. He needed to make sure she was safe. He needed to explain everything to her. He just hoped it wasn't too late for her to listen. This whole plan had been a huge mistake.

Stepping out from the mansion, the whole building almost completely burnt to the ground, Chat Noir watched as the firefighters kept fighting the blaze that was now mostly extinguished. Small flames still danced off the charred remains of the ground. The air around him felt hot and dry, while the smoke filled his lungs causing Chat Noir to cough. He was vaguely aware of some police officers running into the house behind him as his eyes scanned the area. Ladybug had to be around here somewhere. Maybe she was helping the emergency services? Or worse, what if she was injured from her fall?

Chat Noir was about to take off running when he heard a commotion behind him. Hoping to see Ladybug, Chat Noir twisted around, but instead was only met by the sight of the police restraining a very badly beaten Hawkmoth. The villain was covered in blood, his face starting to swell slightly from the scratches and punches that Chat Noir had landed on him. He was being dragged towards a police van, his hands bound by handcuffs. Hawkmoth's grey eyes scanned the area before they finally landed on his son.

"Chat Noir, please!" he begged. "Help me! I'm sorry! I'll help you find Ladybug, I promise! I can't lose you as well!" His cries were full of pain and anguish. "We can still do this! We can still get Emilie back!"

Chat Noir watched, hatred burning in his eyes as his father was forced into the police van, still trying to break free and crying out to him.

"Please!" Hawkmoth cried. "I love you! I did this for us!"

"Save your crazy ramblings and get in the van!" one of the police officers ordered.

Heart squeezing painfully in his chest, Chat Noir took a step backwards, tears finally breaking free and cascading down his cheeks as he watched his father, the only family he had left be loaded into the back of the van. He was no true father. What kind of father would do everything that he had? All those years of emotional neglect came toppling down on top of Chat Noir, almost making him stumble slightly as he continued to slowly walk backwards, his own father's blood still dripping down his suit.

Ladybug. He needed to find Ladybug. She was his family now. She was all that he had left. She was his everything. At that thought, Chat Noir gave his father one last icy glare before turning on his heel and sprinting towards the other side of the mansion.

"NO! NOOOO! ADRIEN! ADRRIIEEEN!" His father's sobs echoed through the air.

Chat Noir choked back his own sobs, biting his lip, instead forcing himself to focus on finding Ladybug. She had to be around here somewhere. A few firefighters were still putting out flames in the area as Chat Noir stared up at the smashed window Ladybug had been pushed through. Shards of glass were scattered across the ground and there was blood everywhere.

Chat Noir stumbled and nearly fainted at the sight.

 _Please…no…_

 _Please don't let that be Ladybug's blood!_

Chat Noir's breath started coming out in gasps as his eyes scanned the area. There was no sign of her. A firefighter walked past him, and Chat Noir quickly grabbed his shoulder to get his attention. The firefighter stopped and turned to Chat Noir with a concerned look on his face.

"You shouldn't be here, Chat Noir, it's not safe." The firefighter's voice was muffled under his oxygen mask.

"Have you seen Ladybug here?" Chat demanded, ignoring the firefighter's advice.

"No, I seriously doubt anyone's been here," The firefighter explained. "This is where the worst of the fire was. If Ladybug was here, there'd be nothing left of her but charred remains. I haven't seen any sign of her anywhere."

The firefighter walked off, and Chat Noir found himself slowly collapsing into a crouched position like someone had just punched him in the stomach. He stared at the area where Ladybug had fallen with wide eyes. He could feel bile rising up in his throat, and right now, Chat Noir was wishing the flames were still there so that they could engulf him in their hell where he belonged.

This was all his fault. Had…had Ladybug managed to get out? She didn't have her yo-yo. Hawkmoth had taken it from her and mocked her with it as she was sent crashing out of the window. She would have had nothing to save herself with.

That's when Chat Noir noticed something fluttering in the slight breeze on the ground. There, situated in the middle of a pool of blood was a sign that Chat Noir had hoped not to see. Slowly, he reached down and picked it up, cradling the bloodstained, ribbon in his hands. The red ribbon that Ladybug wore in her hair to keep her twin pigtails in place.

"NOOOOOO!" Adrien screamed as he clawed at the ground beneath him, digging his nails into the threshold of the front door to his mansion.

Tears streamed down his face at those haunting memories that continued to torment him. He was vaguely aware of hearing Plagg fly down and ask if he was alright, but Adrien couldn't bring himself to respond.

The sun set over the city, shrouding him in darkness. All he could think about was that night. How he had failed to protect her. She was gone and it was all his fault. She was never coming back. That thought always felt like dry swallowing a huge pill and sent his head spinning.

No no no no no!

He couldn't let that happen again. He couldn't fail Marinette like he had failed Ladybug. He needed to see her! More than anything he needed to set eyes on her beautiful face. Only the sight of Marinette would soothe him.

"Plagg, claws out!" Adrien ordered.

His kwami flew into the ring, and soon, Chat Noir was leaping through the streets of Pairs. Only this time, he had a goal in mind. She was all he could think about. She was totally and completely consuming his every thought. The insane side of him, the side that was spilling over and winning control over his body, purred at the thought of seeing his princess again. There was just something about being in Marinette's presence that made him feel…almost whole again. He needed that. _He needed more if it!_

Finally, Chat Noir came to a stop as he landed on the roof of the bakery. Her light was the only light in the house that was on, which seemed like a normal occurrence. Would she still be awake? Sliding down the roof, Chat Noir decided to find out. He peered in through her window. Her room was quiet and still with no sign of her.

That's when he looked up towards her bed, sighing with relief at the sight of a small form sleeping in her bed. A few strands of black hair were visible beneath the pink covers as Marinette tossed and turned in her sleep, kicking the covers off her in the process. She was sweating, though that was to be expected. Chat Noir frowned as he noticed she was sleeping with a thick jumper on that was likely the cause of her disturbed sleep.

Just seeing her like this wasn't enough though. Chat Noir needed to be near her, drinking in every inch of her features, protecting her from harm. He climbed back up the roof and onto her balcony before heading towards the door that led down into her bedroom. Chat tried the door gently at first, frowning as he realised it was locked. He wasn't about to let this thin piece of wood separate him from his princess.

With a grunt, Chat Noir pulled on the door with much more force, snapping the weak, old thing off its hinges before smirking and climbing down into her room. He carefully and quietly placed the door back in place, blocking the night air from Marinette's room once again.

Marinette stirred slightly in her sleep as the door clicked back into place. She turned onto her back and mumbled something in her sleep that Chat Noir couldn't quite understand. Maybe something about fixing something that was broken.

Chat Noir slowly crawled over her body, allowing himself to hover over her, watching her as she slept. Her face was scrunched up in discomfort, and beads of sweat dripped down from her forehead causing her bangs to stick to her skin. Her face was slightly flushed as both her hands rested next to either side of her head, her fingers occasionally twitching.

Even in sleep it seemed she couldn't find peace. Chat Noir related to that a great deal.

He smiled down at her, his eyes hungrily tracing and memorising every inch of her face. She was beyond beautiful. She was absolutely breath-taking.

Unable to resist, Chat Noir rested all his weight on one hand while he brought the other hand up to gently and tenderly stroke her cheek with his finger. At this sensation, Marinette seemed to relax slightly in her sleep. Her expression softened, and she mumbled something else that was incoherent.

Feeling bolder, Chat cupped her cheek with his hand. It felt exactly as Ladybug's cheek had felt in his dream. It was the same size, shape and everything. Her scent engulfed him, the sweet smell intoxicating him and driving him wild.

Marinette leaned into his touch, a small smile forming on her face as she unconsciously nuzzled herself into Chat Noir's hand. Chat Noir couldn't help but smirk at that. She was behaving like she was drawn to him, just as he was drawn to her.

As he smirked, Chat Noir made the mistake of inhaling her scent again, breathing it in deeply through his nose, closing his eyes blissfully as he felt a fire deep within him ignite itself. He had to know if that was how she tasted. If she tasted as delectable and as addictive as she smelled.

Drunk on her scent, a sweet smell that was so comforting and familiar to him, Chat Noir smiled and leaned down before capturing Marinette's lips with his own.

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 **These chapters just keep getting longer and longer. Oh well, you guys seem to like that. I kept swapping and changing ideas for this chapter. I completely abandoned my original plan, thinking that this direction would work better, so I hope it's paid off and that you guys enjoyed this chapter. Don't know why I bother making story plans. I rarely stick to them ahaha. Also I hope there's not too many glaring typos, the editing process on this chapter was a little on the rushed side.**

 **Anyway, feel free to let me know your thoughts on this chapter and the story so far. It really helps me out. I'll see you guys soon.**


	11. Tangled Web

**Hi again, I hope you're all well. Sorry about the longer wait than average for this chapter. I'm trying to get another fanfiction finished at the moment (which if you ship Adrienette, Ladynoir, Marichat and Ladrien and like my writing, I recommend checking it out). Plus I have another Marichat/Adrienette story idea stuck in my head at the moment that won't leave me alone so I've been working on planning that. Anyway, thank you so much for the awesome reviews, I really appreciate feedback.**

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 **Chapter 11: Tangled Web**

In all her time of being a hero, Marinette had never really been able to bring herself to think of the dire consequences of accepting the responsibility of Ladybug. She just got on with her job. She did it for the sake of people of Paris. She did it because Tikki had insisted she was especially chosen for the job. She did it for… _him._ For Chat Noir.

The thought of his name caused bile to rise in her throat which she quickly swallowed back and balled her hands into fists as she remained sat on a stool, waiting for Master Fu to tell her that everything was going to be okay.

Because surely, everything had to be okay, right? Marinette and Tikki could get through this. From what Master Fu had told her, Hawkmoth had been arrested now. The people of Paris had to be wondering where their beloved hero was, surely? Marinette couldn't let them down again. She had already done so by allowing Chat Noir to switch sides like he had. By letting Hawkmoth defeat her. Now it was up to her to make things right again. She needed to find Chat Noir and take his miraculous and make sure he could never cause harm again. Maybe in the process, she could try and understand why her beloved partner betrayed her, betrayed Paris like he had.

Did this mean that Master Fu would now choose a new Chat Noir? Would she still get to continue being Ladybug? Ladybug fought back tears as she struggled to imagine her life with a different Chat Noir. A Chat Noir who couldn't make her laugh like _her_ Chat Noir had. A Chat Noir who she couldn't work as well with.

Marinette sighed as she tried to remind herself that he wasn't the Chat Noir she knew and loved anymore. He was evil now. He led her right into a trap. Hawkmoth had very nearly got hold of her miraculous because of him. She had nearly _died_ because of him, and not once did he come to her rescue.

Marinette tugged at the sleeve of her jacket, further hiding her arms from view. It was going to be difficult living with what happened, but that didn't mean she couldn't. Just as soon as Master Fu was finished with Tikki, everything would be alright again. Surely Master Fu wouldn't make her give Tikki up? Not after everything they had been through together. She didn't see Master Fu as that cruel.

Together, her and Tikki, her pillar of reassurance and strength, could make it through this awful situation. It had greatly pained Marinette that she had not been able to see or talk to her kwami these past few weeks. But Master Fu was doing his best, and Marinette was confident that he would be able to fix things for her. He had one idea left, but Marinette was sure it would work.

This was all Chat Noir's fault.

Marinette reached up to pull on her pigtails, but her hands grasped at air, instead, her fingers only brushed very short strands of hair that now only once again covered her whole scalp. Marinette wiped her forming tears away as visions of her nightmares about that fateful night continued to assault her mind.

How could Chat had done this to her? He was her best friend. Her partner. The one person who she trusted more than anyone else in the entire world. And that trust had ultimately been her downfall. He had abused it and led her right into that trap. She was going to get him for this.

However, Marinette's angry and betrayed thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door in front of her sliding open. Master Fu's red Hawaiian shirt was the first thing that stood out as she looked up, a small smile on her face, relieved that she was finally going to get to see Tikki again and that hopefully her kwami would be alright.

All it took was the sight of the look on Master Fu's face.

That one look was enough to make Marinette sway on her feet slightly and almost pass out as a wave of unimaginable pain washed over her. The pain almost knocked her off her feet, its current threatening to carry her down its tempestuous river for miles and miles, her body being constantly battered by the raging torrent as she slowly drowned.

The grave look on Master Fu's face was all it took to turn her world upside down. Wasn't it bad enough that Marinette already had defeat, humiliation, Chat Noir's betrayal and extensive injuries to deal with? The universe couldn't grant her this one ray of sunshine in her dark circumstances.

" _No,_ " Marinette gasped, stumbling backwards slightly.

"I'm sorry, Marinette." Master Fu sighed. "I've tried everything I can think of for now, but your miraculous…Tikki…"

"No! Please, no!" Marinette begged as large tears began cascading down her cheeks, and uncontrollable sobs began escaping from her chest.

She found herself unconsciously backing away from Master Fu, terrified, and not wanting to hear him finish his sentence. It couldn't be true! Master Fu had to be lying to her! This was all just some big, sick practical joke. Tikki was fine. She had to be. She was a kwami! Kwamis couldn't be harmed or killed…right? They were gods! And Tikki was one of the most powerful of them all.

No! There had to be some kind of mistake!

It was like Marinette's heart had stopped working in her chest, leaving her feeling cold and dead. Her breathing became rapid as air came in and out of her in harsh gasps. She couldn't think. She couldn't feel. All she could do was remain frozen, panting and shaking. Master Fu's lips moved as he said something to her that Marinette couldn't hear over the ringing of her ears.

Ignoring Master Fu's extremely concerned expression, Marinette slowly turned on her heel and began walking down the corridor. One step forward, two steps forward, three steps forward. Her footprints echoed on the wood of the floor down the quiet never ending corridor. The further she walked, the darker and darker it became until Marinette could barely see her feet beneath her. Shakily, she kept on walking, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to control her trembling.

Master Fu's words continued to echo around inside her mind, refusing to relent in their constant reminders of her dear friend and kwami. This was all her fault. If she hadn't landed the way she had. If she hadn't let Hawkmoth get the better of her, then Tikki would be fine right now. They'd both be together, here, right now, facing whatever Chat Noir wanted to throw at them next. Defending the city of Paris just like they always did together.

Lost and blinded by tears and grief, Marinette cried out in alarm when she felt her body collide with something relatively soft in front of her. She felt hands grab hold of her forearms to steady her. Large, warm hands that felt so familiar. She looked down at the tanned skin of the hands that had hold of her much paler skin, the always present silver ring on his finger. Blinking away her tears and letting them trickle down her cheeks as she continued to hiccup and gasp, Marinette slowly brought herself to look up to see the deeply concerned green eyes of Adrien Agreste.

"M-Marinette? What's the matter?" he gasped out, moving his arms down to wrap them around her waist and pull her closer, pressing her against his chest in comfort.

Marinette reached up and gripped his white shirt, digging her fingers into the fabric as her tears stained the black t-shirt he wore underneath. She pressed her face against his chest, breathing in that intoxicating scent that always comforted her and drove her crazy. His scent was all around her, engulfing her, and helping to calm her shaking form.

"I've done something really bad, Adrien," Marinette whimpered like a child.

"I find that hard to believe." Adrien chuckled, pulling back slightly to look at her.

"But I have. I've done the worst things imaginable and I'm never going to be able to forgive myself. I'm a terrible person," Marinette sobbed. "I don't deserve to be alive!"

Adrien's eyes widened. "Don't ever say that!"

"But it's true." Marinette continued to cry.

His scent continued to overwhelm her, making her dizzy. He pulled her closer, and Marinette felt like there was a slight weight pressing against her chest. Marinette's eyes widened slightly in panic, her heart beating erratically at their close proximity. Adrien smiled softly at her before reaching one hand up to gently cup her cheek. Marinette found herself automatically leaning into his touch as she continued to breathe in his scent, letting it wash over her and calm her.

With hooded eyes, Marinette continued to stare at Adrien's face, memorizing every inch of his beautiful features. Marinette almost forgot about all of her worries and problems in that moment. It was just her and Adrien. Her and the love of her life. With Adrien, Marinette could conquer anything. She could get better. She could feel whole again.

Remaining hypnotised by his eyes, Marinette barely registered him leaning slowly down towards her. Both of their eyes fluttered closed as their faces moved closer and closer together. His warm breath washed over her face, making her automatically lean in as if he was a powerful magnet.

Finally, he pressed his lips softly against her own, and Marinette felt like her heart might explode. But instead, it felt like her heart was starting to slowly sew itself back together after having been left shattered by everything that had happened. It was painful, but Marinette could not bring herself to stop kissing Adrien to make the pain stop. Not caring about the pain, Marinette deepened the kiss, reaching a hand up to clutch at Adrien's blond locks, shuddering as his tongue traced the outline of her lips.

For some reason, Marinette felt her eyes automatically flutter open. The familiar blond hair remained, but her surroundings seemed to have been replaced by her bedroom. White fabric beneath her fingers had been replaced with black leather. Instantly, Marinette's lips froze, and the startled and confused face of Chat Noir soon filled her vision as he pulled away.

Marinette screamed.

Chat Noir seemed just as confused and terrified over what he had done, but Marinette didn't care. Within the blink of an eye, she had raised her knees underneath him before her hands pushed against his shoulders. With all the power she could muster, Marinette violently pushed Chat Noir off her and he yelped as he was sent flying over the railings of her bed to the wooden floor below. The loud thump his body made as he collided with the floor caused the whole apartment to shake, and Marinette peered over her railings at his body on the floor.

Chat Noir groaned and pushed himself back up so he was sitting on his knees, his chest rapidly rising and falling as his breathing remained panicked. He abruptly twisted his head around to look at Marinette in alarm, his eyes looking her up and down before he looked back into her eyes and winced as if he had just been slapped.

"What are you doing?!" Marinette hissed.

"I…I don't know," Chat Noir stuttered, looking disgusted with himself. "You just…you smelled so much like her."

"WHAT?!"

"Marinette?" her mother's concerned voice called up to her, slightly muffled by the door that separated them.

"Oh no," Marinette gasped.

She quickly looked around her room, down at the frozen form of Chat Noir, and then down at her covers next to her. Panicked and not thinking straight, Marinette grabbed hold of her covers and leapt down from her bed, draping her covers on top of a startled Chat before pining him down to the ground with them. Making sure that his body was completely covered, Marinette sat on top of him just in time for her mother to open her bedroom door.

Sabine walked up the final steps into Marinette's room and looked down at her daughter, her expression concerned but also slightly suspicious. She was wearing her white robe and her hair was slightly messy from having been suddenly woken up. Luckily, Chat Noir seemed to be playing along and remained completely still, not saying a word. Marinette wobbled slightly as his back wasn't the most stable surface to sit on, and she smiled awkwardly at her mother, though she was sure that she looked almost insane in the process as it unintentionally came out as some sort of weird grin.

"Are you alright, honey?" Sabine asked.

"Y-yeah," Marinette stuttered, trying to come up with a lie. "I just…fell out of bed." Okay…that seemed pretty plausible. She just hoped her mother would buy it.

"I could've sworn I heard you talking?"

"Oh yeah, I was just talking to myself," Marinette lied a little more smoothly.

"Right." Sabine narrowed her eyes before looking from Marinette's bed to the position she was currently in on the floor. "Are you alright, that had to be a nasty fall. Did you hurt your head again? Have the stitches come out?" Sabine began to ask in panic, moving to dash towards her daughter.

Marinette held her hand out in panic. "No!" she cried which halted Sabine in her tracks, causing her concerned expression to morph into a frightened one as her eyes tried to examine Marinette.

"I'm fine!" Marinette quickly reassured her. "Everything is fine! I'm not hurt, I just fell out of bed because I had another nightmare."

"Another one?" Sabine's eyes widened and began to glisten slightly.

Marinette bit her lip and looked away. She couldn't stand the worry that she was putting her parents through, but there was nothing she could do about that. She couldn't tell them the truth. It would put them all in danger. Marinette was a lost cause, and the sooner she could move out of her parents' apartment and get her own place, the better. Then she could be free to break apart and not have to worry about attempting and struggling to put on a façade for her parents' sake. She could lock herself away from the world just like she deserved. Marinette would slowly fade away and disappear. It would be better for everyone.

"Look, Mari, your father and I have been talking." Sabine looked away, folding her arms across her chest and squeezing her eyes tightly shut in an attempt to keep herself together. "We spoke to a doctor while you were in hospital and we think…maybe you should get some counselling."

"What?" Marinette gasped and blinked, shaking her head slightly as she was unable to process what her mother had just said.

"We think you need help, Marinette." Sabine sighed, making another attempt to move closer to Marinette, but at the sight of her daughter flinching away, she stopped and looked down in dismay. "The doctor recommended an excellent therapist."

"I don't need help!" Marinette yelled, her breathing growing heavier as she began to panic.

"Now listen here, young lady!" Sabine suddenly exploded, causing Marinette to shrink back like a small child. "You have been putting your father and I through hell these past few years and we're at our wits end! We're so worried about you! You've not been eating properly, you've not been sleeping properly, you keep having nightmares, you don't go out with your friends anymore and I just don't even recognise you anymore."

"Well, maybe it's the new me," Marinette spat.

"I'm trying to help you, sweetheart." Sabine's tone turned more pleading. "I want to understand what's wrong with you, but how can I do that if you don't let me in?"

"Maybe I don't want to let anybody in." Marinette looked away, trying to hide the tears that were welling up her eyes.

She didn't deserve to be helped.

No one could help her.

She couldn't exactly admit to a therapist that she was Ladybug and that she had screwed up big time. She'd lost Tikki, she'd lost Chat, and lost her sanity in the process. Everything that had happened…it was all her fault. How could she even begin to explain that to someone? She was trapped inside her own head and it would likely be that way for eternity. Damaged goods walking down the streets she used to protect.

Now she was reduced to a shell of her former self, barely able to function enough to keep herself alive. Tikki was gone, and Master Fu resented her and disapproved of her actions, she knew he did. Paris would never forgive her for disappearing. Paris would never forgive her for losing to Hawkmoth. She was reduced to locking herself in her room, too terrified to look at her own reflection lest she see the grim reminders that covered her body of what happened that night.

She was reduced to sitting on top of her old partner, the partner who had betrayed her, arguing with her mother who she knew only wanted the best for her. But she couldn't let her mother in. She couldn't let anybody in.

No one would understand.

 _No one._

"Marinette…" Tears began trickling down Sabine's cheeks.

"Can you please just leave?" Marinette tried to keep her tone as neutral as she possibly could in her state. "I want to be left alone."

Sabine sighed, defeated. "Well, the offer is still there, if ever you want to take it. And you know your father and I are always here if you want to talk. I just want the old Marinette back."

Marinette buried her head in her hands before dragging them down her face, removing any evidence of tears as she did so. Sabine looked back up to Marinette's bed again before she frowned slightly as she caught site of Marinette's trap door. Marinette followed her gaze and balled her hands into fists when she caught sight of the broken hinges of her door. She was going to kill that stupid, insane cat!

"Looks like the hinges on your door are broken." Sabine sighed as she turned back around to leave the room. "You might want to get those fixed as I doubt you'd want any stray cats getting into your bedroom."

Chat Noir sniggered beneath her, vibrating her entire body. Marinette growled and slammed her fist down on the lump beneath her that was Chat Noir. He yelped in pain underneath her, and Marinette froze, her eyes darting to her mother who had just begun to descend the stairs that led back down into the kitchen. Sabine paused and looked at Marinette in confusion.

"Did you say something?" Sabine asked.

"Errr, no," Marinette lied before holding her breath.

Sabine then shook her head before heading back down, closing Marinette's bedroom door behind her. Marinette finally let out the breath she was holding and listened carefully to her mother's footsteps as they made their way through the kitchen, down the hall and into her parents' bedroom. Marinette sighed in relief before squealing as the mass beneath her began to move again.

Chat Noir pushed himself back off the floor, knocking Marinette to the side, causing her to squeal. Marinette closed her eyes bracing for impact, expecting pain to shoot up her side as she collided with her bedroom floor. But nothing happened. No pain came, nor did any impact. Slowly, Marinette opened one eye to see a smug Chat Noir looking down at her. One of his arms was around her waist, keeping her from falling as she remained in a dipped position, like she and Chat Noir had just been dancing.

The feeling of Chat's hand on her waist caused her whole body to shudder, with what, she didn't know. But soon enough, the familiar disgust began to course through her body, unable to stand being in the presence of he who had betrayed her.

The familiar flirty and confident look in his green eyes…it reminded her so much of the old days. Reminded her of the playful banter they always had together. This felt just like one of those times. And it made Marinette feel sick. How could he still be the same yet so different? It wasn't fair. It was like he was purposefully mocking her. Hadn't he caused her enough pain? Hadn't he destroyed her life enough without coming back for seconds?

"That was a close one, _purrincess._ " Chat smirked. "But it's nice to see that you've _fallen_ for me."

Those painful puns sliced through Marinette like a sharp knife. The jagged edged pierced her flesh, making the wound even worse, and soon, she was bleeding out again. Just as she patched herself back up again, something else always happened that re-opened those old wounds that never had the time to properly and fully heal. Chat Noir was the most deadly knife of all, and it sliced through her chest multiple times, piercing her heart in the process, leaving Marinette for death to take.

"Let me go!" Marinette hissed her demand, trying to wiggle out of his grip while trying to make sure that she didn't fall over in the process.

Chat Noir winked it at her and pulled her back upright before letting go and holding his hands up in surrender. Marinette backed away from him as much as she could, which seemed to hurt Chat slightly as his ears drooped and his eyes watched her longingly. This only scared and angered Marinette even more. What was so special about her? Marinette had only interacted with Chat Noir a handful of times before everything that had happened years ago. He barely knew her. So why wouldn't he leave her alone? All he was doing was bringing up more painful memories for her, serving as a reminder of her failures.

"Now get out!" Marinette ordered, pointing towards her door that he had now broken.

" _Meowouch,_ and after I came all this way to see you?" Chat purred.

Marinette's eye twitched. "See me?! More like assault me in my sleep!"

Chat Noir winced. "Says the girl who kissed me back!"

"I was half asleep, I didn't know what I was doing!"

"Quite the good kisser you are too." Chat winked at her causing Marinette's face to erupt into a bright red blush.

She fumbled around for something to say, but all she could splutter out was random, angry noises. How dare he?! How dare he treat her this way! How dare he flirt with her like this! Flirt with her just like he did with… _Ladybug._

Chat Noir suddenly froze, and Marinette couldn't help but wonder if he had just had the same thought path as she had. His smug grin faltered and morphed into shock and dismay. Frowning, he then turned away from her, one of his hands gripping her desk tightly, and Marinette found her eyes nervously drifting to the drawer that his hands were so close to. She looked back up in time to see him close his eyes and sigh. His other hand twitched slightly, and he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw. His claws dug into the desk, leaving scratches in the paintwork.

"I'm sorry about that," Chat apologised, taking Marinette off guard as he once again sounded almost normal again, "I really didn't mean to do that, it's just…you look, you sound, you even _smell_ just like her."

"Who?" Marinette narrowed her eyes, already knowing the answer, but still needing verbal confirmation.

"Ladybug," Chat Noir whispered her name as if she was the most sacred person in the world.

Marinette flinched at the mention of her superhero's name coming from Chat Noir's mouth again. It made her struggle to keep her temper under control. To keep her wild emotions in check as they rapidly alternated between angry, hurt, upset and back to angry again. Instead, she tried to focus on Chat Noir's face, trying to read every inch of his expressions. He looked so pained, just like how she was feeling. The nerve of him. He never cared about Ladybug when she was 'alive' so why did he suddenly care so much now? None of it made any sense.

"I'm…n-not L-Ladybug." Marinette forced herself to say, fighting off the feelings of nausea.

"I know!" Chat Noir snapped. "Ladybug is dead and it's all my fault! She's never coming back!"

He then stormed towards her, and Marinette shrunk back, whimpering as Chat reached out and gently ran a hand through her hair, studying every detail of her face. She felt completely naked under his gaze and wrapped her arms around herself self-consciously. H-he admitted it. He knew it was his fault. He wasn't bragging about it either, he sounded like he was genuinely grieving. Marinette really couldn't understand.

"I just don't get it." Chat narrowed his eyes at her face.

Marinette glared back at him, cringing away from the hand that remained in her hair, twirling random strands of it between his fingers.

"You're acting as if you're still in love with her or something," Marinette growled out.

She found out years back that Chat Noir had a crush on her. She had always hoped it would fizzle out over time and that he would move on, because Marinette knew she could never love Chat Noir like she loved Adrien. Back then, in her mind, Adrien had always been the one for her. And maybe, deep down, she still did have feelings for him, as even today, she still continued to dream about him. Even though there was no hope for their relationship now.

Adrien had retreated into his mansion, never wanting to see anyone, and she was broken beyond repair to a point where no one could ever love or put up with her. Her heart was broken beyond use at this point. Marinette had always assumed that Chat Noir's feelings for her had indeed vanished in order for him to betray her like he did. Because if you truly loved someone, you could never willingly and knowingly betray them like that. _Never._

Chat Noir said nothing as he leered over her, his facial muscles tightening as he continued to stare down at her. Marinette's eyes then widened, his silence providing her with more answers than words ever could.

"Y-you are…aren't you?" Marinette gasped. "But…but…"

"You don't know anything!" Chat Noir suddenly snapped at her, leaning down to get right in her face. "Ladybug was my world! And you…you mock me by being just like her! The look, the sound, the smell of you disgusts me!" Chat then let go of her hair and turned around, leaving Marinette to stare at his back in shock. "But yet, I can't resit it at the same time. I can't stand being around you, but I _need_ to be around you. There's something about you that drives me insane, but…you also make me feel better again."

Marinette blinked in shock.

"All I can think about is how much I want to protect you," Chat continued,"you even got me into a deluded state where I thought I could take you away in order to prevent you from getting hurt, yet when you did get hurt, it snapped me out it. You had me doing the right thing."

Marinette gasped. "It was you, wasn't it?!"

Chat Noir didn't say anything.

"You're the one who carried me to hospital…in your civilian form…b-but why?"

"Haven't you got in into your head yet?" Chat turned around to snap at her again, making Marinette jump. "I…I…I _care_ about you. I shouldn't, but I do. I can't stop myself. I _need_ you."

"You can't need me!" Marinette screeched. "I can't be what you need, Chat! Whatever you want, I am not that person! I've got my own issues, my own problems. You think you can just waltz back into my life as if nothing hap –" Marinette quickly stopped herself, but Chat Noir waited patiently for her to continue.

Marinette then took a deep breath. "Thank you for saving me…for taking me to hospital when you could have just easily made off with me." Marinette then froze before frowning as she watched Chat Noir's face carefully. "T-there's still good in you, isn't there?"

Chat said nothing.

They just continued to stare at each other for what felt like an eternity. Finally, Marinette felt herself crack. It was all too much information. Too much to process. It was all so ridiculous. The fact that she had gotten herself into this mess was beyond belief. Only she could have the power to royally mess up her life so badly.

The giggles erupted from Marinette's chest before she had a chance to stop them and register what was going on. Soon enough, Marinette was clutching her stomach as she bent over and just laughed. Laughing louder than she had laughed in a long time.

"What's so funny?" Chat asked, sounding slightly spooked by Marinette's behaviour.

Marinette's laughter then morphed into sobs as she burst into tears, collapsing onto her knees before she covered her face with her hands. The palms of her hands were soon drenched with tears as sobs violently shook her chest, leaving it slightly difficult for her to breathe. Meanwhile, Chat Noir hovered over her, but at this point, Marinette was past caring.

"What's wrong?!" Chat exclaimed, now sounding even more alarmed.

"It's just…" Marinette wiped her tears away with her fingers. "I'm just as insane as you are. It's hilarious." She giggled humourlessly. "I've made such a mess of things."

"Then let me help you," Chat Noir offered. "You help me, it's only fair I return the favour."

Marinette had started shaking her head before he had even finished talking. "No. There's no help for me."

"I'm sure that's not true."

Marinette said nothing before Chat Noir sighed and reached a hand out to grab hold of Marinette's chin, forcing her to look up at him.

"Well, I'm not going to give up. I'm going to help and protect you, my princess. I'll always be in the shadows if you need me," Chat vowed to her, taking her off guard slightly.

She didn't want him doing this. She wanted him to stay away from her forever. But she knew saying that would not get her anywhere. Chat Noir would get bored sooner or later and move on to obsess over something else. Until then, she guess she'd just have to deal with him lurking there.

Heck, maybe it would even keep Chat Noir off the streets and tormenting people who were caught out at night. Even though he just attacked criminals, it didn't mean she still approved of his actions. This might be the one final little act of heroism she could do. A small repayment to the city for her failures in the past. As much as she despised it, she couldn't exactly win in a fight against him…not when…Marinette glanced over Chat Noir's shoulder at the drawer of her desk.

Jolting her out of her thoughts, Chat Noir had grabbed hold of both of her hands and placed a tender kiss on the back of each one, grinning wickedly at her as her cheeks turned red at his actions. She snatched her hands away from him which only cause Chat Noir to chuckle.

And his insane side was back.

That sure didn't take long, Marinette thought to herself in annoyance. She should have known him talking sense wouldn't last long.

"If you need me," Chat Noir purred as he slowly climbed up her bed and opened the now broken door that led to her balcony, "Just yell and I'll come running." And with that final word, he disappeared, her door closing behind him, once again sealing Marinette off from the world.

.

Rena Rouge sat nervously opposite Master Fu, barely touching the tea that had been offered to her. She knew that Queen Bee and Carapace would be waiting impatiently for her, but Master Fu had insisted on her sitting down and pouring her some tea, no matter how much Rena Rouge had tied to protest. She watched as Master Fu took a slow sip from his cup before sighing and opening his eyes to look at the fox hero.

"So, what can I do for you today? I take it that it is something very important?" Master Fu asked calmly.

"Yes, Master," Rena Rouge replied seriously. "It's about Chat Noir."

"Go on."

"Something's happened that's…a little hard to explain."

Master Fu smiled at her encouragingly. "Well, try your best, my dear."

"He's become…obsessed with someone. He won't leave them alone. Apparently he's been stalking her, and he even tried to kidnap her until I intervened and she got away. I don't understand what he wants with her; it makes no sense. I've never seen this kind of behaviour in him before. I knew he had gone crazy, but not that crazy. He even came out during the daytime," Rena Rouge explained.

"Ah yes, I remember seeing the news regarding that. His changing behaviour is most troubling indeed."

"What do we do, Master? Something weird is going on, I can tell. And I don't want this girl to get hurt."

"Who is this girl?" Master Fu asked, picking up his tea cup again, blowing on the hot tea inside.

"Her name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

The teacup in Master Fu's hand wobbled as his hand shook before it slipped out of his hand entirely and shattered on the table underneath him. Rena Rouge gasped before looking at Master Fu in concern and alarm.

"Master?!"

Master Fu then seemed to snap out of whatever daze he had been suffering. "Oops, clumsy me." He chuckled nervously. "I'll clean that up later. Marinette Dupain-Cheng you say?"

Rena Rouge nodded.

Master Fu looked like he was in shock as he stared down at the hot tea that had spilled all over the table. Rena Rouge frowned at him, wondering if there was something wrong. Something definitely didn't feel right, that much her instincts were telling her. She had never seen Master Fu behave so strangely. Was he just as startled by Chat Noir's odd behaviour as she was?

"We have to put an end to this obsession," Rena Rouge suggested.

"No," Master Fu stated firmly, "we must let things run their natural cause."

"Say what?!" Rena Rouge gasped, not believing what she was hearing.

"In fact," Master Fu continued, ignoring Rena Rouge's outburst, "this may work to our advantage."

"What do you mean?"

Master Fu frowned as he stroked his grey beard while he remained deep in thought. "We _do_ really need to get that cat miraculous back."

Rena Rouge frowned in confusion before her eyes widened. "Oh no! No no no no! You're not seriously saying what I think you're saying?!"

Master Fu said nothing as the corner of his lips twitched into a determined smile.

"Make Marinette do it? Are you insane?! Marinette's my friend! There is no way I'm letting that happen! It's too dangerous! She's just an innocent civilian, why would you expect her to do such a thing?! That's not like you!"

"It may be the only way," Master Fu explained, his tone final.

"But –"

"Rena Rouge, we need that miraculous back, and Chat Noir has just presented us with a weakness that can be exploited. As a hero, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep Paris safe."

"Including putting friends in danger?!"

Master Fu smiled. "Your friend will not be in danger. I am sure of it. Chat Noir will not hurt her."

"What makes you so confident?" Rena Rouge demanded.

"As a guardian, you must trust my judgement. As a guardian, I must get the cat miraculous out of unstable hands, whatever it takes." Master Fu's tone turned incredibly serious. "I suggest that you go and inform Queen Bee and Carapace, and talk to Marinette as soon as possible."

Rena Rouge forced her anger back, instead looking down, defeated. "Yes, Master."

The fox hero took that as he cue to leave, practically storming out of the room with her hands clenched into tight fists. What on earth was Master Fu thinking?! Using Marinette, a powerless civilian, as bait! She didn't care what Master Fu said, there was still the chance of Marinette getting hurt. She had gotten hurt just yesterday by trying to run away from him. Chat Noir's mere presence brought nothing, but disaster, how was her clumsy friend going to stand a chance against that?

This was all wrong, and Rena Rouge was not comfortable with it _at all._ There was something about this situation that really didn't feel right to her. It was almost like Master Fu knew more than he was letting on, and Rena Rouge didn't like that feeling. It made her incredibly nervous and paranoid. If Master Fu did know something, then what was it? Why was he so confident that Chat Noir wouldn't hurt Marinette? That Marinette could be able to perform such a task?

Feeling confused and angry, Rena Rouge leapt onto the roof where Carapace and Queen Bee were waiting for her. They both stood up straight when the fox hero arrived and looked at her expectantly. Rena Rouge merely sighed while looking uncomfortable.

"Well?" Queen Bee demanded. "What did he say?"

"Rena?" Carapace urged gently when the fox hero couldn't bring herself to say anything.

Rena Rouge clenched her teeth together. "He wants us to use Marinette as bait."

"What?!" Carapace gasped.

Queen Bee merely shrugged. "Makes sense I guess."

Rena Rouge glared at her.

"Hear me out!" Queen Bee held her hands up defensively. "We need that miraculous, right? And we haven't exactly been on a winning streak with Chat Noir, and it's been four years! We haven't made any progress! At least this way, we have the element of surprise. And if Marinette does take the ring, he can't hurt her. He'd be powerless."

"But what if it goes wrong? What if he catches onto what Marinette is doing?" Carapace asked worriedly.

"As much as it pains me to say this, Marinette is a smart girl," Queen Bee sneered. "She's managed to hold her own plenty of times."

"You know Marinette?" Rena Rouge's eyes widened.

"I…may have crossed paths with her several times," Queen Bee huffed.

"So, are we all going to pay her a visit then?" Carapace asked.

"No," Rena Rouge quickly responded. "I'll go. Just me. Marinette hasn't exactly been well lately and I don't want to overwhelm her." Rena Rouge then sighed, staring towards the sun that had just risen over Paris, illuminating the city in intense light. If she squinted enough, she could just about make out the roof of Marinette's family's apartment in the distance.

She could not believe what she was about to do.

* * *

 **A long chapter as a little treat for keeping you guys waiting. I just hope it's not arduously long. Writing a chapter while your allergies are playing up and you have a headache is an absolute nightmare. But I powered through. Feel free to leave your thoughts and opinions in a review. It helps me to know what you guys think. Thank you so much for reading this chapter and I'll see you guys soon. Hope you all have a good week.**


	12. Insane Jealousy

**Yo! Wow, the number of people following this story suddenly exploded. This story now has over 300 followers which is awesome! Welcome to all of those new readers. I really appreciate your support. Also massive thank yous to those people who reviewed. I always enjoy reading feedback and it's lovely that you take the time to leave me some.**

 **Also, I published my new Miraculous Ladybug Marichat fanfic if anyone is interested in reading it. It's called** _ **Immortal Bond**_ **,** **but I feel like I have to include a small warning about dark themes and scariness seen as a few people have commented on how creeped out it's made them so far hahaha. Feel free to check it out if you like that sort of thing.**

* * *

 **Chapter 12: Insane Jealousy**

Sleep had completely evaded Marinette for the rest of the night. She had tried going back to bed, but all that resulted in was her tossing and turning for hours until she gave up when small rays of light began to seep in through her windows. At least she had been kept away from the realm of nightmares. Though Marinette had yet to decided which nightmare she preferred to experience: dreams or reality?

The choice was almost impossible as they were both as terrifying as each other in their own special ways. They were usually always the same. Painful memories of what had happened mixed in with dream logic that made things even scarier. Though that was the first time Adrien had appeared in her dreams in a while.

Marinette shook her head before sitting upright in bed, banishing all thoughts of a life long forgotten now. The old Marinette had been madly in love with Adrien. This Marinette could only feel pain and resentment when she wasn't trapped in void of complete nothingness. Nothing but a state of pure apathy; no room for love in there.

Marinette had almost forgotten what a positive emotion felt like. So much so, that she didn't even have the ability to fake it even more. She was getting worse. She knew she was. Her mother could clearly see that by offering her therapy. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't take that offer. Marinette could do nothing but keep everything bottled up. She wasn't worthy of help anyway. Not after everything she had done.

With a sigh, Marinette climbed down from her bed and began her monotonous morning routine. The apartment was quiet. It was really early in the morning, Marinette could tell, but she couldn't bring herself to check the time. She didn't care. Instead, Marinette peaked behind the curtains, slowly pulling one of them back, terrified of possibly seeing two green, cat-like eyes, watching her, waiting for her. There was nothing though, and Marinette breathed a sigh of relief.

A rumble of thunder in the distance made Marinette jump before peering out of her window even more. The morning sun was starting to become obscured by dark storm clouds in the distance; a perfect representation of how Marinette was feeling about today. It was her first day back at school, and every time, Marinette found it more and more difficult to face. Watching everyone around her carry on as normal while her own world had fallen apart. They laughed and mindlessly talked to each other while Marinette was constantly screaming on the inside. She wasn't sure how long she could keep up a façade before she cracked. It was becoming more and more arduous.

But still, like it or not, Marinette knew she had no choice but to continue on. Life kept on going, dragging Marinette across the concrete behind it, leaving her with constant bloody scrapes that never got the chance to heal, rendering Marinette always unable to catch up.

As the distant thunder continued to echo across the city, Marinette closed her curtains again and carefully opened her bedroom door and tiptoed downstairs and into the bathroom, making sure not wake her parents in the process. She turned the shower on and let her hand hover under the water, waiting for it to warm up.

Once the water had warmed up enough, Marinette made sure her back was turned to the mirror before stripping down and climbing inside. The warm water felt nice against her skin as, for a brief moment, Marinette closed her eyes allowed herself to imagine that the water was washing everything away. All of her problems were sucked down the drain and she would never have to see them again.

However, the temperature of the water continued to climb. Steam formed around the room, becoming almost as thick as smoke. Marinette began to almost choke on the hot air that surrounded her, and the water began to scald her skin. Scalded her skin like hot flames, tearing away at her skin and burning her. Cooking her flesh and leaving muscle exposed to the raging inferno.

 _No! No no no! She can't be back there. No!_

Marinette gasped and opened her eyes to the see the wall of her shower instead of the walls of flames that had surrounded her that night. But the water was still very hot, and Marinette yelped in pain, stumbling backwards slightly, luckily managing to catch herself on the shower curtain before she could fall. The shower curtain pulled itself open, leaving Marinette's naked body completely exposed to the large mirror that hung over the sink.

"No!" Marinette screamed as she sank to her knees in the middle of the shower before she closed her eyes and forced herself to look away.

She couldn't look.

It was too awful.

Too much of a reminder.

"You can't make me look. I'm scared! Master Fu, you can't make me look!" Marinette pleaded, wrapping her arms around her legs and burying her face into her knees.

The hot shower water continued to run over her. The droplets of hot water pounded against her skin like small pellets from a gun. Marinette covered her eyes as much as she could, refusing to look down at her own body and refusing to look in the mirror that was now right in front of her.

She didn't want to look. She couldn't look.

It was too much. It was a horrible sight!

She wasn't beautiful any more. She wasn't cute. She was damaged. No one picked the damaged item in the store. No one plucked the withered flower. The disgusting items were left to rot. Their flaws sneered at. Marinette was just like that now. Broken. Damaged. Withered. Scarred…

At least you couldn't see the mental damage. Mental damage was easier to hide. All you had to do was put on a smile and people automatically thought that you were okay. A smile is the most common lie of all. Dangerously deceptive as you could hide anything behind it. No one questioned a smile. But this…this was something that people _would_ question. The surface damage of what had happened that night, forever engraved onto her skin to serve as a constant reminder of her terrible failures.

Marinette whimpered as she knew she couldn't stay like this forever. Slowly and carefully, she stood back up, making sure that the mirror didn't catch her eye, before she turned the shower back off. She quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself. As usual, she closed her eyes as she dried herself, wrapping the towel around her back as she grabbed her clothes and put them on as quickly as possible. Once she was done, Marinette sighed with relief and turned back towards the mirror. Her long jeans and sweatshirt completely covered her, leaving no trace of the damage underneath.

Nodding to herself, Marinette left the bathroom and headed back towards her bedroom and closed the door behind her. However, when Marinette looked up, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw that her bedroom was not empty, and that she was not alone.

"I'm sorry, Marinette," Rena Rouge apologised. "I didn't mean to scare you or break in, but I urgently need to talk to you."

Marinette took a deep, calming breath and placed a hand over her now racing heart. If Rena Rouge was here, then it was likely she only wanted to discuss one thing, and Marinette really wasn't in the mood to deal with anything Chat Noir related today. It was bad enough that she had to face going back to school. That was stressful in and of itself. Psycho kitties weren't on her agenda. In fact, they never were, he just now had an annoying habit of following her everywhere. She wanted him to leave her alone. She wanted to forget about him. After everything he had done, he didn't even deserve to have any fond memories in the deepest parts of her mind.

"Is it about Chat Noir?" Marinette guessed miserably.

The fox hero nodded. "I'm afraid so."

Marinette sighed and moved to sit on her desk chair, waiting for Rena Rouge to explain everything. Had she figured out why Chat Noir had become so fixated on her? Even better, had she found a way to make Chat Noir leave her alone? Though Marinette knew better than to get her hopes up. The universe always had a funny way of making sure that she suffered. It was like it had a personal vendetta against her or something.

"Marinette…I…" Rena Rouge tried to begin, looking unusually nervous.

Marinette frowned at her in confusion, patiently waiting for Rena Rouge to continue.

"We need your help," Rena Rouge finally explained.

" _My_ help?" Marinette asked, confused.

"I'm sorry, Marinette. I really don't want to have to do this, but we're running out of options."

Marinette groaned in confusion and panic. "Will you please tell me what's going on?"

"I need you to try and take Chat Noir's miraculous."

There were a few seconds of silence before Marinette chuckled humourlessly.

"W-what? You can't be serious?"

Rena Rouge sighed. "I'm afraid I am. Chat Noir seems to have developed some sort of fixation on you. I don't know why, but he has. Me and the others have been trying to capture Chat Noir's miraculous for years, but to no avail. What it seems we need is the element of surprise. He lets his guard down when he's with you and we need to take advantage of that," Rena Rouge explained gravely. "He won't hurt you. We're pretty sure of that. If you could lure him in, get close to him, then maybe you could take his miraculous and then all of this will be over."

Marinette felt sick. Was she hearing what Rena Rouge is saying correctly? This must have been Master Fu's idea! There was no way that Alya – Rena Rouge – would put her through this. Whatever stupid plan Master Fu had, it wasn't going to work. He had promised to leave her alone. Promised to stay away from her and allow her to live a normal life, away from anything to do with the miraculous.

Now he was dragging her into it all over again. He was breaking his promise.

Those thoughts threw Marinette into a huge tidal wave of panic. It washed over her and tossed her about in the waters, burning her lungs as it prevented her from breathing.

"Marinette! Breathe!" Rena Rouge's worried voice snapped her out of her state.

Marinette gasped for air, her knees wobbling slightly as she nearly collapsed. Please, no! She couldn't go through all of this again. She couldn't involve herself in superhero business. Not again. He had promised her! Why after all this time was he breaking that promise? It wasn't fair! She couldn't do this anymore. Tikki was gone! She was just a normal civilian now. A normal human who was powerless and couldn't do anything. Someone who didn't want to be a part of this life anymore.

"I-I can't do this," Marinette gasped out.

"Marinette, I'm so sorry. But we really have no choice." Rena Rouge wrapped her arms around her.

Marinette trembled in the fox hero's arms, tears burning in her eyes as she tried to force them back. Marinette wrapped her arms around Rena Rouge, and in that moment, she wasn't some faceless superhero, but her best friend Alya. She nuzzled into Rena Rouge's neck and kept forcing back the tears of fear.

It didn't seem like Marinette was going to have much a choice in this. Master Fu seemed to have made sure of that. If Marinette refused, Paris would be at risk. As much as she hated it, the hero side of her refused to let any harm come to Paris. Chat's reign of terror needed to end. She had to get his miraculous. Maybe then, Marinette could finally live out the rest of her life in peace.

"Just tell me what to do," Marinette mumbled into Rena Rouge's shoulder, feeling numb to everything.

Rena Rouge pulled back and began to explain. "Chat Noir seems to follow you around, so you don't have to exactly worry about catching his attention."

"What if he's listening right now?" Marinette gasped and looked out the window.

"Don't worry," Rena Rouge reassured her, "I've done a complete scout of the place and there's no sign. Chat Noir may be a lot of things, but he's still human underneath and he needs rest. I can't remember the last time he got sleep, so I'm sure he's passed out right now."

"I still think it's best to talk as vaguely as possible," Marinette whispered.

Rena Rouge raised an eyebrow at her. "Wow, Marinette. You really know how to think like a hero. Ever thought of joining our team?"

Marinette winced and shook her head.

"Anyway," Rena Rouge said as she shook her head as if to rid herself of a certain thought, "just lure the mouse in and then you can take the cheese back." The fox hero winked at her.

Marinette nodded her head in understanding.

Rena Rouge placed a hand on Marinette's shoulder. "Paris is counting on you, Marinette. Good luck."

With those final words, Rena Rouge climbed out of Marinette's room through the balcony door, and Marinette sighed as she watched it swing closed behind the hero. She really needed to get that door fixed thanks to Chat Noir breaking it.

Once again, Marinette was left on her own. The thunder grew louder as the storm approached even closer. The sudden wind slammed against the side of her family's apartment which made Marinette jump slightly.

She couldn't believe what was happening. This was so unfair! All she wanted to do was get on with her life. But yet…maybe this would be her final chance. To finish what she had meant to start all those years ago. She could finally be free. Free of Master Fu, of Chat Noir and of anything to do with miraculous magic.

And go back to what? A life that didn't feel like a life? A life that felt like she was constantly on autopilot?

As much as it pained for her to admit her, her days of being a hero were some of the happiest times of her life. But she was a civilian now with no kwami. Would she really stand a chance against him?

Could she manage to take Chat Noir's miraculous?

.

Adrien wandered around his dark, empty mansion. The only hints of light he received were from the odd flashes of lightening that leaked in through the windows, illuminating the dark hallways for a brief moment. His footsteps echoed around him, and the thunder rumbled outside. The storm was getting worse.

Why Adrien was wandering, he wasn't so sure. His feet just seemed to automatically carry him forward, towards the room that had been his father's office and had led down into his lair. Adrien shuddered at the memory. He had that part of the building removed when the mansion had been rebuilt. It had been filled with layers and layers and cement. Buried and forgotten like it should be. But how could Adrien forget? That was the room where everything had all gone very wrong.

The door of the office was slightly ajar. Adrien very rarely entered that room as there were too many bad memories. Now the room just sat empty with no furniture inside apart from that old portrait of his mother that kept the family safe hidden from sight. Adrien paused outside, not wanting to enter, but it was like some unseen force was pushing him forwards.

Cautiously, Adrien pushed the door further open, and nearly collapsed at the sight inside. The whole room was covered in blood. Fresh and red, it stained the whole room, yet despite this, Adrien felt like he was drawn inside. The room was dark, and he couldn't see much apart from the lakes of blood that were scattered across the floor and smeared all over the wall. It was like a murder scene, and Adrien nearly gagged at the sight.

What had happened? He was so sure that this room had been left empty and no one had ever ventured inside?

That's when Adrien felt his shins collide with something soft.

Adrien froze, and he didn't dare look down, terrified of what he might see. However, it was still like his body was on autopilot as his head was forced downwards to look at what he had collided with.

Adrien screamed when he saw that it was the bloody and lifeless body of his lady.

Her body looked mangled and twisted, with glass sticking out of almost every inch of her skin. Parts of her suit were burnt and torn, exposing singed flesh where all of the skin had been burnt away, leaving nothing but muscle. Her head was titled to the side on the ground, her eyes closed and her face frozen in a permanent state of the intense pain she would have felt as she was dying.

"NO!" Adrien screamed, trying to back away, but he felt two hands on his shoulders, pushing him forwards again and forcing him to look. "LADYBUG!"

"Take a good look, Adrien."

That voice. _That familiar voice._

"This is where your stupid plan got me!"

Adrien couldn't fight the urge anymore. He had to turn around. He had to see who that voice belonged to. The voice that sounded like it could only possibly belong to two people.

To make sure she wouldn't force him to look away again, Adrien quickly whipped his head around, and his heart lurched in his chest the sight of Marinette standing behind him and fiercely glaring at him. Like Ladybug, she was covered in blood, bits of broken glass and severe looking burns almost covered her entire body. Adrien stumbled backwards at the sight, bile rising in his throat.

"Look at what you've done to me!" Marinette hissed.

"NOOOO!" Adrien cried out, covering his eyes before a flash of lightning startled him and forced his eyes to shoot open once again. Much to his confusion and terror, he was no longer in his father's office, but was instead in his bedroom, lying down in his bed.

Adrien sat bolt upright and looked around frantically. Plagg stirred awake next to him before curling back up again, wrapping his tail around himself; he was used to Adrien's night terrors by now.

Lightning flashed once again, making Adrien jump out of bed, cold sweat dripping down his face as his heart pounded, and his breathing came out in harsh pants. Rain began pounding against his large, glass window as Adrien stared out into the storm, finally coming to grips with the fact that it had just been another nightmare.

He was in his room. He was safe. Wasn't he?

Gasping, Adrien ran out of his bedroom and all but leapt down the grand staircase before dashing towards his father's abandoned office. Adrien kicked the door open and looked around frantically.

Empty.

No blood. No lifeless body of his lady. No Marinette.

Just an empty office that held too many bad memories.

At that thought, Adrien staggered out of the room, his head pounding from having gotten up too quickly. His body felt completely and utterly exhausted, but Adrien ignored its protesting. Every muscle ached, and as Adrien stepped forward to head back up to his room, he froze as the room around him began to spin slightly. The world suddenly felt like it was on a slight slant, and the edges of his vision turned red as other different colours swirled before him. Adrien grabbed hold of one of the cold pillars in the hallway, pressing his head against the cool material.

As quick as it had started, the strange sensation disappeared, leaving Adrien feeling semi-normal again.

Shrugging it off, Adrien made his way back upstairs and into his bedroom. Plagg was snoring away on his pillow, but Adrien knew that there was no way he could get back to sleep. Not after that nightmare. He settled for staring out of his window at the storm instead. His dreams had certainly taken a strange turn lately by including Marinette.

Then Adrien began to wonder. What if it was some sort of premonition? Was he going to lose Marinette the way he had lost Ladybug?

No!

He couldn't allow that!

He wasn't going to lose his princess!

He would be there for her, unlike what had happened with Ladybug. He would stay by her side and protect her! He had to find her! He had to see if she was okay!

"Plagg, we're leaving," Adrien growled out his command, glaring in the direction of the Dupain-Cheng bakery.

"Can't," Plagg mumbled. "Sleeping."

"I wasn't asking, I was telling!" Adrien yelled desperately. "Plagg, claws out!"

"Whoa, wait!" Plagg begged as the magic of the miraculous began to pull him inside. "What's gotten into you?" he cried as he was pulled into the ring.

Adrien quickly transformed, and Chat Noir wasted no time in launching himself out of his window and heading towards where Marinette would be. He needed to check on her. He needed to make sure that his special little princess was okay. He hated that he had to be parted from her. Leaving her alone made him so nervous.

But yet, when she ordered him to leave, he often found himself obeying. It was like Marinette had complete control over him, and he couldn't understand why. There was something so special and endearing about her. He wanted to know what had the usually optimistic and friendly Marinette so damaged and cynical.

Chat Noir grew more and more excited the closer he got the bakery. His heart began doing little excited leaps in his chest, coming back to life at the thought of seeing Marinette again.

Why? Why did she do this to him?

She was nothing special. He should just turn around right now. But he couldn't. It was like she had attached a hook around the hole in his chest and kept pulling him in mercilessly. The closer he got, the more the pull loosened up, making Chat Noir feel like he could breathe again. Soon, he would see his princess, and he would almost feel whole again.

He landed on her roof as quietly as he could. He placed his baton back on his belt and climbed down the roof so that he could see into her bedroom. It was empty. He climbed further down and peered into the house. That was empty too.

Chat Noir's heart sank in his chest and he began to panic with a furious intensity. He climbed back up to the roof and yanked Marinette's balcony door open, jumping down into her room to double check that she wasn't there. He climbed down from her bed and stood in the middle of her room. She definitely didn't seem to be here. He listened as intently as he could, his cat-like hearing unable to detect any sign of her nearby.

Had someone taken her?! He needed to find her!

Frantically, Chat Noir looked around the room for clues, and that's when he realised that her pink backpack was missing. Then he remembered what day it was. School would have been starting back up. Marinette was likely at school. Chat Noir had almost forgotten that school existed after he dropped out and retreated into his mansion. Time had seemed to almost stand still after what happened all those years ago. He forgot that everyone on the outside lead normal lives.

Still determined to see his princess, Chat Noir extended his baton and propelled himself out of the room, closing the balcony door behind him. His old school was just down the road, and it didn't take Chat Noir long to leap over the rooftops before landing in one of the many trees that decorated the perimeter of the school. He peered in through every window, growing even more panicked when he couldn't seem to find any sign of Marinette.

Finally, he did manage to find her, and Chat Noir breathed a huge sigh of relief.

She was okay. At least she seemed to be.

Chat Noir tilted his head and watched his princess curiously, thinking that this would be a good time to try and get to know Marinette a little bit better, and maybe even find out what had happened to make his old friend change so much. His green eyes locked onto her as she sat slouched in her seat while Alya and Nino chatted away in front of her. Alya and Nino both looked incredibly tired, and Chat Noir almost felt like he had been punched at the chest at the sight of all of his old classmates.

During his time at school, he had become quite good friends with a lot of them. Having normal friends was something that he had always dreamed of. But now he couldn't be around them. They would likely be disgusted with Adrien Agreste for having such a villainous father.

Chat Noir closed his eyes, knowing that he would never be able to face the shame. They had all been akumatized because of his father. How could he ever look them in the eye again?

Shaking away those thoughts, Chat Noir stared back at Marinette who looked incredibly exhausted. She had dark bruises under her eyes, and the sweatshirt she was wearing practically swallowed her up. Marinette looked so frail that it shattered Chat Noir's heart into even tinier pieces than what it had already been broken into. It didn't look like she was paying much attention to what was going on in class. She just sat there, staring straight ahead with an almost dead look in her eyes. It was almost like she was a mannequin. Chat Noir frowned at that.

He had been so focused on how much she looked like Ladybug that he never really looked at her properly beyond her similarities. She looked…ill. Like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Was no one else noticing this? Why was no one asking her if she was okay? Why wasn't Alya looking after her? Wasn't she supposed to be her best friend? Instead, Alya was busy scrolling through her phone under the table, looking like she was reading something intensely.

Chat Noir growled at this. If no one else was going to look after his princess, then he certainly was going to do it, whether Marinette liked it or not.

The angrier Chat Noir became, the tighter his grip became on the tree he was sitting in until the edges of his vision turned red again. His grip loosened slightly as he was once again overcome by a strange wave of intense dizziness. Chat Noir shook his head in attempt to clear it. It seemed to do the trick, and soon, Chat Noir's vision returned to normal again and he no longer felt dizzy.

He went back to watching Marinette, knowing that soon it would be lunchtime and that he could see her properly when she went home to eat. Chat Noir peered at the clock and smirked as he only had half an hour to go. He strained his ears in order to try and listen to what was going on, as at last, Alya had finally turned around to talk to her.

"I just don't get it. The more I dig, the more things don't make sense." Alya frowned, keeping her phone hidden under the table so the teacher wouldn't see.

"What?" Marinette asked.

Nino groaned. "Alya this is all you've been talking about lately. Ever since those trolls started bugging you on your blog."

"But for once, I think these people have a point," Alya said, looking deadly serious.

Marinette gasped. "Please don't tell me you're talking about those L-Ladybug conspiracy theorists?"

Alya looked down sheepishly. "What if they're right though?"

"Alya, I know it's hard, but…Ladybug isn't coming back." Nino placed a comforting hand on top of Alya's, talking to her as gently as possible. "I feel like you're hoping to see things that aren't there."

"But why hasn't her miraculous been found?" Alya questioned. "And, even more suspicious, why hasn't any body been found?"

Chat Noir winced at the direction their conversation had taken. He had seen those conspiracy theories too. It's why he no longer went on the internet. Those morons didn't realise that they were just re-opening old, painful wounds. His lady was dead. Even Chat Noir could accept that fact. It had taken him a long time to do so, so to have people claiming that she was still alive would only cause a retrograde in his grieving process. Now Alya seemed to be at it as well. Still, Chat Noir fought off the intense feelings of anger and pain, continuing to listen in.

"Maybe someone moved it?" Nino suggested.

"But who? And why? And why would that person never come forward and confirm that Ladybug is actually dead?" Alya questioned. "I'm telling you, there's something strange going on here and I'm going to get to the bottom of it!"

"Please don't, Alya!" Marinette begged desperately.

Chat Noir growled as he watched Alya narrow her eyes at his princess.

"And why not?" Alya demanded.

"Because you're chasing something that isn't there." Marinette's voice became awkward sounding. "I don't want you causing yourself more unnecessary pain. These conspiracy theorists are either online trolls or people just grasping at straws."

"Maybe you're right," Alya admitted, though she didn't sound too convinced by what Marinette had said.

Marinette shuffled nervously in her seat, and Chat Noir wondered what had her so rattled all of a sudden. She tugged on the sleeves of her sweatshirt and looked around the room wildly. Chat Noir gasped as her chest began to rapidly rise and fall as her breathing became more laboured. Her face turned incredibly pale. She then abruptly raised her hand.

"Miss Bustier? Can I be excused for a moment? I'm not feeling too well," Marinette said, and Miss Bustier immediately agreed, gasping at how pale Marinette had suddenly become.

Marinette quickly got out of her seat, and Chat Noir hopped over to the next tree to decrease his chances of being seen by her. She left the classroom, and Chat had expected that she would just stand outside the classroom or got the bathroom, but he was surprised to suddenly hear the main door of the school open. He peered around the corner to see Marinette stumble out of the building, one hand clutching her chest as she tried to control her breathing. She then leaned her head back and closed her eyes, seemingly enjoying the cool wind of the storm against her face.

Chat Noir gasped as she stepped out into the rain, letting it almost completely soak ger. What was she doing?! She was going to get sick! Chat Noir could handle it, but his fragile little princess certainly couldn't.

He was about to jump down and approach her, to maybe shield her from the rain when he was forced to freeze by the sound of the main entrance door opening again. Much to his surprise, Nathaniel stepped out, making Marinette jump slightly, but she seemed to force a soft, friendly smile to appear on her face.

"Miss Bustier sent me to see if you were alright," Nathaniel explained.

Chat Noir dug his claws into the trunk of the tree he was currently gripping, sending bark flying everywhere. He narrowed his eyes at the back of Nathaniel's head, a strange sensation clawing at his chest at the sight of Nathaniel comforting _his_ princess.

That was _his_ job and _his_ alone. Marinette was _his._

Chat Noir nearly fell out of the tree at the direction his thoughts had taken. What was this insane emotion he was feeling? Was this it? Had he finally snapped? Had his fingers finally lost their grip and he was falling into that endless, dark abyss?

No…this was something else. This was something much more monstrous. Whatever it was, it was clawing at the inside of his chest, begging him to just pounce forward right now and take Marinette away with him where no other man could ever look at her. She was _his_ princess.

He knew Nathaniel had a crush on Marinette some years ago. Maybe he still did have feelings for her. Marinette didn't need weasels like him around her, especially in the state that she was currently in. The only person who understood the pain Marinette was in was Chat Noir. He was the only one who could handle her and look after her. Any other guy would hurt her.

Yeah…that must be the emotion he was feeling. He was just being protective over her. Looking out for his princess because she was so fragile.

Then Nathaniel placed a hand on Marinette's shoulder.

Chat Noir's vision turned blood red. Before he even had time to register what was happening, he had leapt down from the tree and stalked up behind both Nathaniel and Marinette. He wasted no time in grabbing hold of Nathaniel's arm and yanking it away from Marinette, nearly ripping his arm out of its socket in the process.

Nathaniel screamed and Chat Noir smirked at him, still gripping his arm.

"C-Chat Noir?" Nathaniel gasped in fear.

"What are you doing?!" Marinette yelled.

Chat Noir ignored her, leaning in to growl sinisterly in Nathaniel's face. "Don't touch _my_ princess."

"W-what?" Nathaniel's eyes widened before he tried to yank his arm out of Chat Noir's grip which only ended up causing him more pain.

Chat Noir laughed at his pain and flexed his fingers, showing off his claws as he pretended to think, smirking at Nathaniel playfully.

"Let's see what purr-etty patterns I can carve into your face," Chat Noir purred.

"Chat Noir, stop it!" Marinette grabbed hold of his free arm in an attempt to hold him back. "Leave him alone!" she commanded.

Chat Noir didn't budge, no matter how much Marinette tried to make him loosen his grip on Nathaniel's arm. Nathaniel looked like he was about to pass out as he stared at Chat Noir with pure fear.

Marinette then looked deeply into Chat Noir's eyes, her own eyes full of anger and revulsion. "I said, let. Him. Go."

Chat Noir found his grip automatically relaxing despite his brain screaming at him to teach Nathaniel a lesson for touching his princess. Yet his body obeyed Marinette's words. He still had all of this angry energy to get out though. His whole body was practically shaking. His grip on his sanity was loosening again, and his dangerous subconscious was leaking through, overpowering the more rational side of his brain. He felt like a caged animal. He needed to destroy something. He needed to hurt someone. He needed to get away before Marinette could stop him.

Growling, Chat Noir turned on his heel and stomped away, walking down the middle of the road, causing cars to screech to a halt. People leapt out and began screaming as they ran away. Pedestrians fled while screaming as well, but Chat Noir kept marching forward, once again not caring that he was out in the daylight.

Unable to resist for much longer, Chat Noir began smashing up everything in his sight. His anger and the other strange emotion took complete control of his body as he dug his claws into the metal of cars as easy as if he had been digging his nails into butter. Car alarms began blaring as he smashed them all up, throwing pieces of scarp metal through the windows of the small businesses he passed on his rampage.

It wasn't enough. He needed to destroy more things! He wanted Paris to be full of nothing but chaos and destruction!

Sirens could soon be heard in the distance, and Chat Noir turned around in shock to see police cars skidding to a stop behind him. Roger Raincomprix stepped out of the leading police car, carrying a megaphone before speaking into it.

"Chat Noir, you are under arrest. I order that you must surrender yourself immediately," he commanded, though there was clearly fear in his eyes.

"Arrest me?" Chat Noir sneered. "I thought you cops knew better than to interfere when I'm around?"

"We're not afraid of you anymore, Chat Noir. We're tired of your reign of terror." Roger's voice began to shake slightly.

"Oh yeah?" Chat Noir smirked before lunging at them.

The braver police officers ran forward as well, trying to make a grab for him. Chat Noir laughed and easily dodged all of them, trying to get towards Roger. One got close to grabbing hold of him, but Chat Noir easily punched him in the face, leaving the police officer with a painful and bloody broken nose.

Now this is what he had needed!

Chat Noir finally reached a trembling Roger and, grabbing him by his collar, leered down at him as he growled like a wild animal. Roger whimpered and shrunk back slightly. So much for that small amount of bravery he had displayed earlier. This wasn't going to make things as much fun now, but oh well. Chat needed at least something to sink his claws into and release some of this energy.

With his claws just inches from Roger's face, Chat Noir froze. This was Sabrina's father. A friend and classmate of his from when he went to school. He was just a police officer trying to protect the city. Chat Noir had saved him from an akuma once. This wasn't right.

No! He must destroy! _Must…destroy! Must…cause chaos!_

No!

Chat Noir gasped and dropped Roger who fell down to the ground before scooting away from Chat Noir as much as he could. Chat Noir stared down at his own hands in panic. This was it. He was slipping! He needed to get out of here! He needed to get to someone who could help! The only person who could sooth this and save him!

Without a second though, Chat Noir fled towards the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Marinette would likely be home by now, and Chat Noir needed to see her. He needed to talk to her. He needed to apologise. He had no idea what had come over him. He needed her help! There was something very wrong with him, he could feel it!

Chat continued to fight with himself as he landed rather clumsily on Marinette's roof. He could hear her in her room below. The thought of her presence was already beginning to comfort him and calm him down slightly.

He all but ripped her balcony door open and leapt down into her bedroom. Marinette yelped at his sudden appearance before her blue eyes began to burn in anger. Chat Noir stumbled down to stand in front of her, drinking in her appearance as much as he could.

She was so beautiful. She was so calming. Why was she soothing him? His need for destruction was vanishing, only to be replaced by a more intense emotion that Chat Noir couldn't quite place. He had felt it before. He knew he had felt it before, but what was it? It felt like something that had the potential to heal his shattered and dead heart.

"Marinette…" he gasped out, ready to embrace her, but he was prevented from doing so by Marinette's sudden outburst.

"WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!" Marinette screamed. "Attacking Nathaniel like that?! I thought you only hurt criminals! You truly have become evil, haven't you?! I was wrong! There is no good in you! You do nothing but destroy everything you come into contact with!"

Marinette's fists pounded against his chest, but Chat Noir found himself unable to pay attention to her actions or her words. The world around him began to spin again at a frighteningly fast pace. His vision blurred, and a wave of dizziness pulled him under. He swayed on his feet before it felt like he was falling backwards. Then everything went black.

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 **The thunderstorm that started when I began to write this chapter couldn't have timed itself more perfectly. I write better when it's rainy and stormy. I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for reading it. As always, feel free to leave a review and let me know your thoughts. I always appreciate feedback. See you later.**


	13. Conspiracy Theories

**Hi again and welcome back. I hope that you're all doing okay. Thank you so much for the awesome reviews. Welcome to all of those new people who have just found this story and I'm sorry to those who lost sleep while binge reading it. I've been there myself. Also thank you to everyone who has added this story to their favourites and have followed it. This story now has over 200 favourites which is astonishing. Thank you so much, guys! It means a lot to me to see so many people enjoying this story.**

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 **Chapter 13: Conspiracy Theories**

Marinette couldn't bring herself to move. All she could do was remain frozen, unable to even breathe. The sickening thud of Chat Noir collapsing onto her bedroom floor continued to echo through her mind as if the inside of her skull was completely hollow. Marinette stared down at Chat Noir in a state of complete alarm and fear, unsure of what she should do. Should she call for an ambulance? Why had he just collapsed like that? Questions and uncertainty kept buzzing around her head as she continued to stare at him with wide eyes.

Chat Noir lay in a heap on the floor. He had collapsed backwards and was now laying awkwardly on his back, his head falling to the side slightly. His wild, blond hair covered most of his face and his mouth hung slightly agape. Marinette was slightly comforted by the steady rise and fall of his chest, indicating that he was still breathing okay. Part of her was pained to see her old partner in such a condition, but she forced herself to remember that he wasn't her partner anymore. He wasn't her friend. He had betrayed her, and he was evil.

Shaking her head slightly, Marinette continued to stare at him, trying to figure out and process what had just happened. One moment he was breaking into her room and she was shouting at him, and the next he just fell backwards and passed out.

He was passed out.

Chat Noir had passed out in her room, right in front of her and there was no one else around.

He was completely vulnerable right now.

At that thought, Marinette's eyes travelled down from his face and down his arm before finally locking on his hand. His ring was where it always was on the second finger of his right hand. The green paw print in the middle glowed brightly.

It was right there.

Chat Noir was unconscious, and his miraculous was right there, ripe for the taking. It would be so easy to just walk over to him, bend down and take it. Chat Noir would be no more. His identity would be revealed to her. She could hand the miraculous over to Rena Rouge just like they had planned and she would be free. This situation was almost too perfect.

Biting her lip and stepping forward very slowly, Marinette's eyes darted back towards Chat Noir's face to make sure that he wasn't going to stir. With each creek of the floorboards beneath her, Marinette cringed, pausing to wait and see if any of the sudden sounds woke Chat Noir up. He remained completely still and unconscious beneath her.

Feeling more confident that he wasn't going to wake up, Marinette crouched down and gently took hold of his hand. It felt just like it always had. Large and warm, often completely engulfing her own hand when he had took hold of it. Small feelings of static travelled from the points where his hand touched hers, and they made their way up her arm and towards her shattered heart.

For a second, it was almost as if her heart had been jump-started, only to then remain not beating in her chest, eternally withered away. The feelings of static electricity disappeared as quickly as they came, and Marinette quickly shook her head to snap herself out of it.

Biting her lip again, she gripped his ring with her thumb and index finger, ready to prise it off him. She glanced at his face one last time to make sure that he hadn't woken up. Sure enough, his eyes were still peacefully closed, strands of his hair falling from his face to reveal it in full detail. Marinette froze at the sight of how almost peaceful he looked. There was the ghost of the person he used to be. Her old partner. It was almost as if he was in the room with her again.

His face was relaxed and his eyes were gently closed. His skin was a lot paler than normal and his face was almost gaunt looking, his cheeks becoming hollow with seemingly little to no fat or muscle left. Marinette remembered how rounded his cheeks used to be. They were often pulled back by his cheeky grin as he made a pun or had attempted to flirt with her. Memories of those days began assaulting Marinette's mind, pulling her under and threatening to drown her once again. Her heart lurched in her chest, longing to reach back in time and bring the old Chat back. Her kitty who had been her trusted partner. The partner who Marinette could never imagine would betray her in a million years.

An involuntary whimper escaped her mouth and she gripped the ring even tighter, closing her eyes in a futile attempt to banish all of those memories and thoughts from her mind. Chat Noir could wake up at any moment. She had to do this! For Paris' sake! For her own sake! Once she did this, she would finally be free! She would never have to see Chat Noir again. She would never have to deal with anything miraculous related again. Maybe Master Fu would finally leave her alone as he had promised and she could get on with her life…whatever was left of it anyway.

All it would take was just to remove Chat Noir's ring right now. The source of his power would be gone and he would never be able to terrorise Paris and cause destruction again. Maybe he would even be arrested. Could Marinette really expose his identity? Should she take the ring and then hide his unconscious body somewhere and call an ambulance? Or should she keep him here, call Rena Rouge and have her collect both the ring and the person responsible for Ladybug's demise? Marinette would finally see the face of the boy who had betrayed her. Who had allowed Hawkmoth to try and murder her and abandoned her to the flames below.

Marinette gripped the ring tighter again.

 _She could do this._ All she had to do was pull it off his finger.

 _Come on, Marinette! You'll finally be free! Maybe you could even get something close to closure._

But her arm remained unmoving, Chat's ring still on his finger as he continued to lay there unconscious. Sweat dripped down from Marinette's forehead and her fingers began to ache from tightly holding onto his ring.

Unable to stop herself, she glanced at his face again, her eyes once again being drawn to it. He still looked so peaceful. For the first time, a completely neutral expression was on his face instead of a sadistic smirk or intense anger. It jolted her slightly to see him looking so…normal. So much like his old self. Because he still was the same person. The same boy who had reassured her when they first became heroes all those years ago. The same boy who made her laugh with his terrible puns and frustrated her with his over the top flirting. The same boy who frequently dived in front of her, protecting her from the attacks of the akumas they fought together.

No!

He had changed. Something had happened somewhere and he turned to the dark side. Perhaps it was her own fault he turned out this way, she didn't know. All she knew was that his actions nearly cost her life. Nearly brought about Hawkmoth's victory. Placed Paris in incredibly danger. Destroyed Tikki. Chat Noir was a monster. He needed to be stopped. She needed to take his miraculous. She didn't care why he had done it. It didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that he needed to be stopped. He was no longer worthy of his miraculous. She could finally atone for her failures by doing this right now.

So why couldn't she do it?

Growling to herself, Marinette clung onto the ring even tighter, forcing herself to begin sliding it down his finger. The further down his finger it slid, his body began to become enveloped in a bright green light. His mask began to disappeared from his face. The skin of his arms were becoming visible, and Marinette held her breath. Just a little bit more…she could do this…

More skin and clothes became visible, and Marinette didn't dare look up at his face. She purely concentrated on his hand, watching as his leather gloves disappeared in a bright, glowing green light, exposing pale, ill looking skin beneath, and hands that almost looked like they barely had any muscle left. He was almost nothing but skin and bones. He looked so ill…so fragile…

It almost reminded her of herself. The way she had been after everything that had happened until she started trying to force herself to act more normal for the sake of her family and friends. Forcing herself to eat again and to smile, putting on the show of a lifetime in order to try and pretend that nothing was wrong. But she knew she wasn't fooling anyone. Anyone that knew her well could see through the cracks. And she knew Chat Noir better than anyone…at least she thought she did anyway.

There was clearly something major that was wrong with him. What if…what if there was a chance that she could help him? To get to the bottom of what had happened all those years ago now? A chance that she could save him despite everything he had done? Had Hawkmoth had some sort of hold over him?

She had spent all of these years hating him without ever really trying to put herself into his shoes and understand what had happened. What if something bad had happened to him to make him like this? She had always shared such a close bond with Chat Noir that surely there had to be a hugely substantial reason for him to turn on her like he did. Maybe as Marinette, she could finally put the missing pieces of the puzzle together and look at the big picture.

Sighing to herself, Marinette slowly slid the ring back onto his finger, squinting her eyes slightly as he once again became engulfed in a bright green light. Soon, leather replaced skin again, and Marinette stared down at his ring sadly.

Perhaps she had gone mad for considering such a thing. She should take his ring, she knew she should. But…she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Something in her gut was screaming at her that this was wrong. This wasn't what she should be doing. And the last time Marinette had refused to listen to her gut, it had almost gotten her killed. She just hoped that her instincts were right.

Marinette then gently placed Chat Noir's hand back down and then sat still, staring at his face, unsure of what to do next. He still hadn't stirred, and Marinette found herself growing increasingly worried. Maybe she should call for an ambulance? But what if they took his ring off and his identity was exposed? What if he kicked off when he woke up and harmed on of the doctors or nurses? Should she take him to Master Fu instead? Marinette groaned to herself in confusion.

Forcing herself to calm down, share leaned forward to check on him. She brushed some strands of blond hair out of his face and placed her hand against his forehead. It didn't feel like he had a fever, so that was a relief. He seemed to be breathing fine as well. That's when Marinette noticed how skinny he looked again. He probably hadn't eaten in a while, and if he was eating, then it wasn't much. He was probably exhausted and weak from lack of nutrition and that was why he collapsed. The same thing had happened to Marinette years ago just after she came back home. She couldn't eat and kept passing out from not doing so. He should wake up at any time if this was the case. Then after a few hours, if he showed no sign of recovery, then maybe she should take him to Master Fu.

With her plan firmly set in her head, Marinette wrapped her arms under Chat Noir's unconscious body and lifted him up as best as she could. Despite being so skinny, he was still a lot bigger and heavier than she was. Marinette remembered a time when she could pick up Chat Noir easily, but those days were long gone. She was a lot weaker now, and out of practice.

Grunting under his weight, Marinette carried him as best as she could towards her bed. She climbed up the ladder, amazing herself that she didn't fall over and injure the both of them. She hoisted him over her railings and laid him gently down on her bed. Climbing up the ladder further, she reached over him and grabbed her pillow before carefully lifting his head up and sliding the pillow underneath him. Then she reached for her blanket and laid it down over him.

It was so strange and almost comical seeing the villainous Chat Noir, dressed head to toe in black, laying snugly underneath bright pink blankets. Marinette shocked herself when she found herself chuckling over the humorous sight.

However, Marinette quickly stopped herself before shaking her head and climbing back down her ladder. She collapsed onto her desk chair and spun it around to glance over at Chat Noir again. He was still out cold and was showing no signs of waking up. She tilted her head slightly as she stared at the portion of his face that was left exposed by her blankets. She wondered who he was beneath the mask. Had something happened in his personal life to make him turn out this way? It felt like anything was a possibility, and Marinette hoped that she could get the bottom of it soon.

If only she had woken up when he had been carrying her injured body through Paris to drop her off at the hospital. Maybe then she could have captured a glimpse at his face. But she knew that would be wrong. After all this time, she still found herself conforming to the strict rules of keeping their true identities a secret.

No doubt Chat Noir would finish what he started if he found out that she was Ladybug. It was imperative now that Chat Noir didn't find out who she was. Not that he would be able to get his hands on her miraculous, but there was still the risk that he might want to kill her. Perhaps he would do it in revenge for what happened to her miraculous or perhaps he would do it out of pure evil.

She was sitting in her room with her potential murderer.

Marinette blinked in shock at that thought. She really had gone crazy. What was she thinking? There was no way this stupid plan of hers – whatever it was – was going to work. She should just take his miraculous right now or call Master Fu or Rena Rouge or something. What was to stop him from harming her when he woke up? Sure, he claimed to want to protect her, but what if when he woke up, he finally snapped? Chat Noir was so unpredictable right now and she was playing in fire. And Marinette knew exactly how she felt about fire.

 _Buuuzzzzzz._

Marinette yelped and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard her phone vibrate as a text message came through. However, Marinette barely had time to calm down when she heard footsteps heading up the stairs towards her room. Marinette gasped and looked over at the unconscious Chat Noir who was clearly visible on her bed. Squealing, Marinette darted out of her chair and ran towards her bedroom door, opening it just as her mother was about to. Marinette kept walking forward, forcing her mother to back up slightly as she looked up at her daughter, looking startled and concerned.

"Marinette, what's wrong?" Sabine gasped.

"Oh – ummm – nothing," Marinette stuttered out, "it's just…my room is contaminated right now, so you don't want to go in there."

Sabine's grey eyes widened. "Contaminated?"

"I'm, errrr…sick." Marinette faked a cough for good measure before sniffing.

"You are looking a little peaky," Sabine noted, examining her daughter's face carefully.

Was she? Marinette forced herself to focus. "So I – umm – I won't be going back to school this afternoon."

"That's probably for the best," Sabine agreed. "Can I get you anything?"

"Nope, I'm good." Marinette faked a yawn. "I think I just need some rest."

Sabine sighed. "Your father and I were hoping to go out and get some supplies for the bakery this afternoon, but if you're not feeling too well, I can stay home with you and your father can go on his own."

Marinette panicked. "Don't be silly! I can look after myself. You go help papa." Marinette twisted her mother around by the shoulders and began pushing her towards the front door of her apartment. She grabbed her mother's handbag off the counter by the door and forced it into her hands.

"W-well…as long as you're sure." Sabine sounded even more concerned.

"Dad needs your help more than I do." Marinette chuckled awkwardly. "I just need some rest, that's all."

"I could make you some of uncle Cheng's Marinette soup?" Sabine offered.

"Really, I'm fine," Marinette kept insisting, "don't wanna keep dad waiting."

She ushered her mother out of the door and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before shutting the front door in her mother's confused and concerned face. Marinette instantly slammed her head against the door and sighed to herself, feeling incredibly guilty over forcing her mother out like that. Now she had probably given her mother even more cause for concern.

But what could Marinette do? Her parents finding out she was harbouring Chat Noir in her room probably wouldn't exactly go down well. At least this way, her parents should hopefully be gone long enough for Chat Noir to recover and leave.

Marinette tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat as it suddenly felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest. She turned her back to the door and slid down it, sitting down on the floor and tucking her knees under her chin. Reaching her hands up, she gripped her hair and tried to calm her erratic breathing.

Chat Noir was up there in her room. What was she thinking? She couldn't do this. Why did her life have to have turned out this way? She was so happy before. So innocent. She wanted her rose tinted glasses back.

After a few minutes of sitting on the floor, trying to fight to control her breathing, Marinette knew that she had to go back up to her room sooner or later. Sighing, she forced herself back up and slowly made her way back upstairs. She peaked over the edge of her door and felt slightly relieved yet worried that Chat Noir was still passed out. Relieved because it meant that she didn't have to face him right now, but worried that something more serious might be wrong if he hadn't woken up yet.

Forcing back her worry, Marinette climbed back into her room and closed her door behind her. Once again she was all alone with Chat Noir. Frowning at his sleeping form, Marinette made her way back over to her desk and sat down, keeping her back towards Chat Noir, too scared to even look at him in case she got any doubts over her plan. She picked up her phone, remembering that someone had messaged her, and unlocked it. Alya's name lit up her screen and Marinette opened the message.

 _Check out the Ladyblog,_ was all it said.

Marinette's heart leapt into her mouth over the mention of the Ladyblog. She tried desperately to stay away from that website as it served as too many reminders. Alya's message seemed very blunt and to the point, so it must be something important. Did Marinette dare look? She didn't want to, but part of her was morbidly curious.

Sighing to herself, she woke her computer back up and went onto the Ladyblog. It looked like Alya had done many updates to the site since Marinette had last looked at it before…before everything bad had happened. The background had been changed to black instead of the usual red and black spots, probably as an act of mourning. It looked like Alya had just posted something as it was the first thing that came up on the home page, and Marinette could feel her stomach churning in horror as she began to read it.

 _IMPORTANT NEWS UPDATE:_

 _Fellow Ladybug fans,_

 _I am calling upon you to help me and our favourite superhero._

 _I am looking for other people who are good at investigating to help find out what_ really _happened to Ladybug that night of the fire and the final battle against Hawkmoth. Does anybody else not find it strange that a body was never found? That her miraculous was never seemingly recovered? That no official announcement was ever made by anyone who knew her that she was dead, not even by Chat Noir? We all just seemed to have jumped to the conclusion that she was dead after she remained missing for weeks on end._

 _I, for one, want to know what happened. Paris deserves to know what really happened. Ladybug deserves to have her story told. I am calling upon you to help me search through visual and written evidence to find any trace of Ladybug. Did she really die that night? Was she captured? Send any and all evidence to me either through the comment section or via email. The people have a right to know, and if Ladybug is alive, then it's up to us to help her._

 _Ladybug, if you're still out there and reading this, don't worry. We're coming to find you. We're coming to help you. Stay strong._

 _Alya._

All Marinette could do was stare at her computer screen, completely frozen.

No no no _no no NO NO!_

 _WHAT WAS ALYA THINKING?!_

She couldn't launch some freelance investigation?!

Could she?!

Would there even be any evidence to find apart from the fact that a body and the ladybug miraculous was never recovered? Marinette couldn't believe that Alya had actually let those conspiracy theories convince her that Ladybug was still alive. Ladybug was gone and she was never coming back. The very person responsible for that was sleeping behind her right now.

They couldn't possibly find anything…could they?

Panicking, Marinette picked up her phone again and instantly called Alya. Alya picked up almost immediately, not giving Marinette time to even say anything.

"Marinette? It's great isn't it?! I know some people might think this is clutching at straws, but seriously, once you start to really think about it, the whole situation just seems really odd. There's too many holes in the official story. Apparently the official story they went with was the one Chat Noir told the police. Hawkmoth went insane afterwards and hasn't said a coherent word since. Chat Noir apparently did an interview with a journalist, only it never got aired because Chat Noir lost his mind not long afterwards. But I had Max look into it and he actually managed to get hold of a rare copy of the video. Hang on, I'm posting it onto the site now as evidence," Alya explained excitedly.

Marinette was speechless. Words became caught in her throat. She had wanted to chew Alya out for buying into this stuff and, though she didn't know it, putting her best friend at risk. If it ever got out that Marinette was Ladybug…she didn't know what she would do…

"There. It's up!" Alya exclaimed happily. "Let me know what you think."

Gulping, Marinette refreshed the page and sure enough, now at the top of the home page was a video. Marinette held her breath and clicked play. The set was simple, obviously they had never had a chance to add in the effects as green screens were everywhere. It was just Chat Noir and Nadja sat on two simple looking chairs with red cushions. Marinette's eyes widened at how much of a mess Chat Noir looked.

"Good evening, I'm Nadja Chamack, here today with Chat Noir to talk about the final battle against Hawkmoth," Nadja spoke grimly.

Chat Noir visibly cringed.

"So tell me, Chat Noir, just what happened that night?"

Chat Noir remained silent for a few moments and Marinette watched him intently, narrowing her eyes as she examined every tiny movement he made. He looked so lost, so vulnerable, so pained. It looked like he had lived a thousand years just by looking at his eyes alone. It was if he was trying to make himself look as small as possible in that chair. It looked like he was trying to force back tears as he finally made himself speak.

"Well…we were fighting Hawkmoth and…"

"LIAR!" Marinette screamed at the screen without thinking.

"Marinette?" Alya's voice questioned in concern from the other end of the line.

Marinette gasped, realising her horrendous mistake. She really needed to learn to control her outbursts, especially with Alya's suspicions currently being on high alert. She stuttered down her phone to Alya, pausing the video to make sure she didn't miss anything.

"Errrr, I think he's lying," Marinette choked out.

"Really?" Alya sounded really intrigued. "Why's that?"

"I've just…got a feeling?" Marinette lied awfully.

Alya sighed in frustration. "Girl, I thought you had some amazing evidence then! Don't get my hopes up like that."

"Sorry," Marinette mumbled awkwardly before pressing play again.

"It all happened so fast." Chat's voice shook as he spoke. "He managed to get her yo-yo off her before he used his cane to send her flying through the air where she broke through the window and…and…"

"It's okay Chat Noir," Nadja comforted him gently, "I know this is very traumatic and hard for you to talk about."

"I couldn't get to her in time." Chat Noir began sobbing which left Marinette completely stunned. "I tried to get to her, but I couldn't. Hawkmoth grabbed hold of me and pinned me down and I couldn't get to her. I managed to fight him off and by the time I got back outside, the firefighters had managed to put most of the fire out. I went looking around where Ladybug fell, but…I…I couldn't find her! It's all my fault!"

Marinette narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"It's okay," Nadja comforted him again, placing a hand on his slumped shoulder while handing him a tissue with her other hand. "I'm sure she's out there somewhere recovering and doesn't blame you for what happened. The only person responsible for all of this is Hawkmoth. His trial will commence in a few months, and justice will be served."

Chat Noir then turned to look into the camera, startling Marinette as it felt like his green eyes were staring directly into her own with such a fiery intensity that she had never witnessed before. She remained hypnotised by his gaze, despite it only being a small image on her screen. It was like he was staring into her very soul and it had her squirming uncomfortably.

"Ladybug, if you're out there," Chat Noir spoke to the camera, "I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for it to go this far. Just please…come back to me and I'll explain everything. You mean everything to me, and I…I…I can't lose you! I'd go insane!"

He abruptly stood up from his seat and ran off, leaving a shocked Nadja sitting frozen in her chair. She looked down at her papers before looking awkwardly at the camera when the video ended.

Marinette didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think. She had never seen Chat Noir behave so…so oddly before. Back at the mansion…he had sounded so evil…so heartless. Yet in this interview, he appeared normal apart from clearly going insane with worry. Worry for _her._ For Ladybug.

Why was he worried? Why was he pretending to worry when he had been the one responsible? When he had betrayed her? None of this was making any sense. Was this all just a ploy to get her to come out of hiding so he could try and get his hands on her miraculous?

She turned around to stare at the unconscious Chat Noir with wide eyes. If that had been him acting during that interview, then he was one hell of a good actor. For a moment, Marinette was almost convinced that he still cared about her. That he truly was sorry over what happened and that there was a genuine reason behind it. There may have been a reason, but Marinette was sure that it would never be good enough.

"Well?" Alya's voice snapped Marinette out of her deep thoughts and she turned back around so she could speak into her phone properly.

"What did you think?" Alya asked.

"It was…weird," Marinette admitted honestly.

"Tell me about it!" Alya exclaimed. "He talked about wanting to explain something to her. What do you think that could mean?"

"It could mean anything."

"True…" Alya mused to herself. "I'm going to get to the bottom of it!"

Marinette felt like she was about to have a heart attack. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"What do you mean?"

"Doing this little investigation. I don't think it's a good idea, Alya."

"Why?" Alya demanded suspiciously.

Marinette tried to keep a panicked stutter out of her voice. "I…I just think your suspicions are for nothing. I don't want you getting obsessed with this and ending up disappointed. I know how much you want Ladybug to be alive and I just don't want you to end up upset. You're my best friend Alya, and I would hate for something like that to happen. Not to mention if you go snooping in unauthorised places, you could end up getting into trouble."

"All part of being a good journalist," Alya replied confidently. "Seriously girl, don't worry about me. I can handle it. The people have the right to know the truth. I think Ladybug is out there somewhere alive. If we can help her, then we've got to try."

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?"

Marinette took a deep breath. "Let's just say for one _wild_ moment that Ladybug _is_ alive. What if…what if she doesn't…want to be found?"

There was a few moments of silence which cause Marinette to panic even more.

Finally, Alya broke it. "Why would Ladybug do something so horrible and heartless though? Ladybug would never abandon Paris and let us all believe that she's dead."

At those words, Marinette felt like someone had taken a sharp knife and sliced her heart in half. Was it even humanly possible to feel this much pain without dying? It had Marinette wanting to curl up on the floor and just let herself bleed out. Maybe it would be best for everyone if she did die in that moment. It would be what she deserved.

Alya was right. Marinette had been cruel, horrible, heartless, despicable and any other awful word in the dictionary someone could be called. But she couldn't stop. She couldn't stop herself from doing this horrible act. She was in too deep. She was at the mercy of the ocean current now and these were the consequences of her actions.

But even if she had wanted to come back as Ladybug, she couldn't. Would anyone ever understand that? Would Alya understand? They all saw Ladybug as this perfect hero when really that was far from the truth. Since her 'death', Ladybug had become almost a god-like icon. Someone perfect. Someone who could do no wrong. Someone the children of Paris looked up to and aspired to be like. If only they knew the horrible truth…

"I'm sure she has her reasons," Marinette mumbled.

There was another few seconds of silence.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Alya asked, sounding incredibly suspicious.

"What?!" Marinette gasped. "Me? No! What would that even be? I know nothing about what happened to Ladybug. How _could_ I know anything? I mean –"

"Relax, Mari, I was only teasing." Alya chuckled, though it sounded forced. "I've got to go. I've got a ton of emails coming through. Catch you later, girl."

Alya hung up, leaving a very flustered and terrified Marinette frozen in place. Her phone was still pressed to her ear and her blue eyes were staring forward, wide and unblinking. Her heart was beating incredibly fast as if she had just run the most arduous marathon in the world. Her stomach was doing somersaults and tying itself into knots as she began to process what had just happened.

However, Marinette's heart soon thudded to a halt in her chest the instant she heard the creak of her bed behind her.

"And just what was all that about, princess?"

* * *

 **I was running on four hours of sleep and was stressed up to the eyeballs when I wrote and edited most of this chapter so I just hope that it doesn't show. If there are extra errors that I missed and the chapter quality isn't the best, I really am sorry. Most people have adopted to messaging me if there's a typo I've missed ahaha, so thank you guys for that. Please feel free to leave a review as it really helps me out a lot. See you soon.**


	14. Understanding

**Hiya! I hope that you guys are all having a good week so far. Thank for the awesome response I got on the last chapter! It was amazing to see so many new readers letting me know what they thought of the story so far. Welcome to all of you and sorry for making you lose sleep. Also, thank you to those who have added this story to their favourites or have followed it. Every little bit of support helps me.**

 **CAUTION: This chapter contains descriptions of a panic attack.**

* * *

 **Chapter 14: Understanding**

In that moment, it was like the world suddenly stopped. Everything froze, including Marinette as she couldn't even bring herself to breathe. Her lungs burned in protest, but breathing was the last thing on Marinette's mind right now. Her back remained to Chat Noir, so she couldn't judge his facial expression. However, his tone had been enough to give it away.

What had Marinette been thinking openly discussing Ladybug when she knew Chat Noir was in the room and that he could wake up at any time? Did he suspect her? Had her cover been blown? Surely she would be dead by now if that was the case. Or he would have seized the chance to search her room for her earrings.

At that thought, Marinette's eyes darted towards the top drawer of her desk nervously.

Marinette wasn't sure how long she remained sitting there in a frozen state of silence. A second. A minute. An hour. Time seemed to stand still as an intense fear Marinette had never felt before began coursing through her veins, burning every cell in her body. Fight or flight kicked in, and Marinette wasn't sure what she should do. Should she try to run and get out of there just in case Chat Noir had figured it out? Or should she stay and confront him?

Either option was way too risky, so once again, Marinette remained as still as a statue. Her fingers gripped the bottom of her chair, digging into the cold, hard plastic, making the palms of her hands start to ache. The room was so silent that Marinette could hear the erratic beating of her heart in her ears.

She could just imagine Chat Noir's green eyes burning holes in the back of her head. He had barely moved an inch since he had said those words. Eyes darting towards her computer screen, Marinette barely managed to contain her gasp as she realised the evidence was still on her screen, and there was no doubt in her mind that Chat Noir could see it. The video and its title were clearly displayed. This only made Marinette's heart beat even faster. Was this it now? Was her secret blown? Was the whole world about to find out what a horrible hero Marinette was?

"I'm waiting," Chat Noir sang, and Marinette heard the bed creak as he sat up.

Words became stuck in Marinette's throat, blocked by the lump that was forming there. It felt like Marinette was being strangled. Her throat closed in on itself, rendering her unable to speak or even breathe. The tips of her fingers and toes began to tingle, and her mind raced at the speed of light, unable to settle on one panicked thought for even a second.

"Is that the video I think it is?" Chat Noir was beginning to sound less playful and more sinister now.

This only served to worsen Marinette's state. This was it. He was going to find out. She was about to die. Her heart rate increased even more, rattling around inside her damaged chest cavity, pulsating as Alya's words began to echo around in her mind. Maybe death was what she deserved. Alya was right. She was selfish and heartless. She had let everyone down. She had abandoned Paris. She…she had failed Chat Noir. Her best friend. Her partner. He was this way because of her. Because she hadn't insisted on talking to him about something that was clearly bugging him. She could have stopped all of this. She _should_ have stopped it. Instead, she took the cowardly way out. She hadn't pushed Chat on what was wrong. She had allowed him to lead her into a trap. She had allowed Hawkmoth to defeat her. She had destroyed her miraculous forever…she had lost Tikki. She had ran, hid and lied to everyone. What kind of person did that make her?

Marinette closed her eyes. It didn't make her a person.

It made her a _monster._

"What are you doing with that?! What's going on?!" Chat Noir yelled aggressively as he jumped down from her bed and dashed over to Marinette as quickly as possible.

Marinette yelped as Chat Noir leaned over her, practically shoving her out of the way as he looked at her computer screen more closely. Marinette risked moving her eyes to subtly look up at him and examined his face carefully. So many emotions flickered across his face that it was hard to keep up with them and pin-point exactly what they were. His hands clenched into fists as he leaned them against her desk, his claws leaving slight marks in the paintwork. His teeth were clenched together as he continued to stare at the video in horror, anger and…guilt?

When Chat Noir's eyes flickered down to look at her, Marinette looked away as quickly as possible, her cheeks flushing slightly as she knew she had been caught staring at him. Her throat began to close up even more, as if a snake had coiled around her neck and constricted itself even tighter with every breath Marinette tried to take. Numbness spread up Marinette's fingers towards her hands, and from her toes to her feet before making its way up her legs.

Panicking at the sensation, Marinette tried to subtly scratch at the back of her hands, just to make sure they weren't about to drop off. Despite feeling like she had lost all sensation in her hands, the scratches still stung and left visible red marks.

"Answer me!" Chat Noir demanded loudly, making Marinette jump.

"I…ummm…you're awake?" Marinette stuttered in a high pitched voice.

"That doesn't answer my question!" Chat Noir barked.

Marinette frowned, not liking the way he was talking to her. "None of your business. This is my room, I can watch and do what I want," she replied grumpily.

"This video was never released!" Chat Noir growled. "How do you have access to it? And what were you talking about with Alya?!"

"I…" Marinette trailed off, not knowing what to say.

So it seemed that Chat Noir hadn't managed to hear most of their conversation, nor had he seemed to have busted her as Ladybug. That was…something at least. But what would happen if Chat Noir became convinced by Alya's conspiracy theories? Would he then try to hunt her down? Would he be able to do such a thing?

Marinette thought hard for a moment, her mind spinning and panicking over all of the possibilities. She was so sure that she had managed to cover her tracks. She was so sure that all evidence had been destroyed or hidden. But what if there was something she missed? What if Marinette herself accidentally gave something away? Marinette had been careless a few minutes ago by having that conversation with Alya while Chat Noir was in the room. If Chat Noir had woken just a few minutes before when she had called him a liar…would that have been all he needed to figure out her little secret? Was this how it was going to be for the rest of her life now? Constantly trying to stay ahead of conspiracy theories and websleuths?

Chat Noir narrowed his eyes at her, making Marinette's head spin even faster. Finally giving up on trying extract answers from her, he turned his attention back to the screen and began scrolling through the web page. He gasped when he noticed that it was the Ladyblog, his face turning an even more ghostly shade of white. He kept scrolling, and Marinette watched as his eyes followed the text of Alya's latest post.

As if he had just been punched in the stomach, Chat Noir made a choking sound before stumbling backwards, curling in on himself slightly as he did so. He shook his head slightly as his eyes were wide with horror before they melted in a blaze of anger. His hands clenched into fists at his side, and Marinette winced when she heard his teeth snap together. His face darkened, and he stood completely rigid a few steps behind her.

"That girl is despicable!" Chat Noir growled out through clenched teeth. "Ladybug is DEAD! Why is she bringing everyone's pain back up by claiming that she's alive?! It's vile! It's disgusting!" Chat Noir's voice began shaking towards the end as if he was struggling to hold back sobs. He slowly relaxed his fists and brought his arms up to loosely wrap them around his chest like he was trying to hold himself together.

"I'm sure Alya doesn't mean any harm," Marinette tried to defend her friend. "I tried to talk her out of it."

"Oh yeah," Chat Noir snapped, "by claiming that Ladybug might be in hiding and that she doesn't want to be found!"

"You heard that?" Marinette gasped.

"Yes!" Chat Noir growled, stalking towards her slightly.

Intimidated, Marinette pushed her chair back slightly until it collided with the edge of her desk. Chat continued stalking forwards before he slowly leaned down slightly and placed both of his arms on either side of Marinette, leaning against her desk and blocking any form of escape.

"Ladybug would _never_ do such a thing."

Marinette frowned. "You don't know that. You don't know her. What if something happened?"

Chat Noir leaned in further so that their noses were almost touching. His warm breath drifted across her face, and his scent surrounded her, making her mind spin even more. Her throat closed up even more, and Marinette's breathing was starting to come out in shallow pants, though she tried her best to hide it. The numbness continued to travel up her body, leaving Marinette to feel like she was floating across a stormy ocean. Her head bobbed up and down on the violent waves, drowning her, and making her feel sick and dizzy.

"I know Ladybug better than anyone," Chat Noir growled in her face, "and she would never abandon Paris. She would never hide from her responsibilities."

In that moment, with those words, Marinette felt like something snapped inside her head. The last remaining pieces of her heart were torn apart until nothing but atoms remained. A tidal wave pulled her under, and no matter how hard Marinette tried to swim to safety, the current kept pulling her under. Water filled her lungs and her throat closed up completely. She was dragged further down into the dark waters below into dangerous and unexplored territory.

Marinette was powerless to stop it.

All she could do was try and gasp for air, her chest being violently yanked back as she did so. Marinette wanted to run. She wanted to scream and cry until there was nothing left in her. Her ears rang loudly as large tears began cascading down her cheeks, blurring her vision and leaving nothing but a smudge of colours in front of her. It felt like her whole body was about to break apart as if she was made of fragile glass that had just been dropped onto the hard floor below. The snake around her throat gripped her tighter and tighter, causing Marinette to gasp even more violently for air. It felt like at any moment she might vomit up the little contents of her stomach.

She could barely register anything that was going on around her. All that Marinette could register was Alya's and Chat Noir's words buzzing around her brain like a swarm of angry bees. The words stung her brain relentlessly, and Marinette gripped hold of her head, hoping to stop the awful sensation.

Marinette was a coward. She had run from her responsibilities. She had caused so much pain to so many people who looked up to her. She was a failure. Probably the worst superhero in the history of humankind. Tikki and Master Fu were wrong when she had been chosen. All Marinette did was cause destruction and devastation wherever she went.

Marinette had always felt like she was never truly cut out to be a superhero, and her theory was proven right the night of the final battle with Hawkmoth. She had failed to spot the signs with Chat Noir that something was wrong. She had failed in her mission against Hawkmoth. She had failed to protect her miraculous. And she had failed to protect Paris.

But it was too late now.

There was nothing Marinette could do. She was in too deep. Even if she wanted to come back as Ladybug, she couldn't. Tikki was gone and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Tikki kept begging her to try in her dreams, but Marinette had run out of options. She and Master Fu had tried everything to bring Tikki back, but nothing worked. Even Master Fu had been at a complete loss at what to do.

She couldn't reveal her secret identity either. Not to mention, everyone would hate her for what she did, and Marinette knew that she just couldn't face that. Alya would never be able to look at her the same again. Her parents would be extremely disappointed in her. She would never be able to show her face in public again. Not that any of that would matter anyway as Chat Noir would likely kill her the instant he found out. Without her miraculous, she would be powerless to stop him from doing so.

Marinette couldn't help but feel like that maybe she should have died that night. Maybe this was her punishment for not meeting her destiny. Was it her fate to die that night and now the universe was punishing her for not doing so?

But Marinette wasn't even sure why she had survived that night. Even Marinette herself had been convinced that she was dead. She had angled her fall so that she would die a quick death rather than let the flames consume her. Maybe she should have just stayed in the fire and allowed herself to burn to death. She shouldn't have tried to crawl away.

If Marinette had died that night, at least she wouldn't have to face the shell of a life she had now. She wouldn't have had to deal with the look of shame on Master Fu's face. Tikki would still be here. Marinette wouldn't have to wake up every day to a living nightmare and carry all of this guilt on her back. If she had died, there would have been a body to find. Paris would be able to grieve properly, and then maybe these conspiracy theories wouldn't have gained so much traction.

Marinette would have done the world a favour if she had died. She would have done herself a favour.

Lost in her thoughts, Marinette barely registered the feeling of something warm wrapping around her. Somewhere deep in the ocean, something warm engulfed her. It was almost like someone had placed an oxygen mask on her face, allowing her to try and breathe again. She felt protected in the warmth. For the first time in a long time, Marinette felt safe. Her breathing became more and more stable, and her head began to gradually stop spinning. It was like someone had reached into the water and had pulled her to the surface. Whatever had saved her, Marinette clung onto it like her life depended on it. She shivered against its soft warmth and used it to keep herself afloat.

"It's okay, I'm sorry," Chat Noir whispered comfortingly while also sounding slightly panicked.

Wait…what was going on?

Marinette was no longer drowning in an endless ocean, but was instead back in her room. The pink walls were a comforting sight that helped keep her grounded. Her head was no longer spinning, and she could breathe properly again. That's when Marinette registered that it felt like she was pinned to the back of her chair. Something soft and warm was wrapped around her waist, rendering her unable to move.

Finally, Marinette snapped out of her state enough to look down to see that Chat Noir had nuzzled himself into the side of her waist. If Marinette hadn't been so shocked, it would have been rather amusing to see Chat Noir nuzzled into her side just like a real cat. He was leaning down on his knees against the floor, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist while he leaned the side of his face against the side of her stomach.

The position looked rather awkward. But Chat didn't seem too bothered. He just simply stared straight ahead, his eyes glazed over and unblinking, lost in his own mind as he simply held her. That was what had grounded her. _Chat Noir_ had grounded her. He had rescued her from drowning in the ocean just like he rescued her from drowning in the river all those nights ago now.

But why?

Why was he doing this for her?

He was evil. He had teamed up with Hawkmoth. So why did he claim he wanted to help her? Why did he continue to save her despite the way she acted towards him? Why was he so fixated on her? Marinette had thought that it was because she reminded him of Ladybug and he was projecting the superhero onto her, but…it really was starting to feel like there was more to it than that.

Marinette's head began to spin with all the confusion. He still loved Ladybug. If that was the case, then that must mean that he never stopped loving her. So…why did he betray her? Marinette really needed to try and get the bottom of this.

All these years, she had been thinking the situation was purely black and white. But maybe it was more grey than she could have imagined. Did Hawkmoth have some sort of hold on him? Was he tricked or manipulated in some way?

Marinette closed her eyes as she thought. She knew that she could probably never forgive Chat Noir for what he did. They're relationship could never go back to the way it used to be. He thought Ladybug was dead and that was the way it was going to stay. Not that Marinette had much choice in the matter. But maybe she could try and attempt to understand what had happened that night. Attempt to understand why Chat Noir had suddenly turned on her. Attempt to understand where everything went wrong.

Marinette opened her eyes again and looked down, jumping slightly once she realised that Chat Noir was now looking up at her. Those eyes…the way they shimmered slightly when he looked at her. It was nearly almost as if she was looking at her old partner again. Only now his eyes were haunted. Frightening ghosts lurked behind his eyes, revealing the trauma underneath all his anger and confident bravado. In this moment, he looked completely lost. His eyes subconsciously begged her for guidance that sadly Marinette would never be able to give. Because she was just as lost herself. Lost in a twisted and gnarled forest, trying to escape the hungry predators that surrounded her. Trying to find her way through the thick mist and find a way out. All the while, the sharp branches and thorns cut and tore at her skin, leaving her skin constantly bleeding and broken.

"I'm sorry," Chat Noir whispered again, not letting go of her.

"For what?" Marinette asked, her voice cracking slightly.

It took a while for Chat to respond as he stared up at her intensely.

"Everything."

Marinette froze in shock, becoming locked in Chat Noir's gaze. Did this mean that he was going to leave her alone now? Had he seen the error of his ways? Much to her horror, Marinette couldn't help but feel slightly sad at the possibility of Chat Noir leaving her and never seeing him again. She hated to admit it but…she had missed him…a lot.

But that was just her longing for the good memories they had together. Chat Noir had changed now. _She_ had changed now. They were both two completely different people. He chose his path and she chose hers. But clearly their paths had crossed again. No matter what, she and Chat Noir always bumped into each other one way or another.

Was it just a coincidence? Was it fate? Marinette wasn't sure. All she knew was that maybe she had been given a chance to potentially get the answers she had been craving since Chat Noir had led her into the trap that fateful night.

"I should go," Chat suddenly announced shakily.

He released Marinette and quickly stood up. However, he wasn't on his feet for more than a millisecond before his legs began to tremble beneath him, and his skin turned a sickly shade of white. Marinette gasped and quickly stood up and caught him before he could collapse again. She hooked her shoulder under his arm while using her other arm and prop his chest up. At least Chat Noir didn't fall unconscious this time, though it certainly looked like he might do at any second.

"You're in no fit state to be going anywhere," Marinette noted with a frown, still holding Chat Noir up, though he seemed to be recovering from this latest dizzy spell. However, he still looked incredibly frail and sickly.

"I've caused you enough trouble for one day," he said sadly, closing his eyes.

Marinette sighed. "It's no more than what I'm used to." Marinette then looked him over again. "Judging by how skinny you've gotten and how weak you seem, I don't mean to pry, but I'm gonna hazard a guess that you haven't been eating much recently."

"I _have_ been eating," Chat Noir protested stubbornly.

"Like what?" Marinette challenged, raising an eyebrow at him.

Chat Noir thought for a moment, growing slightly flustered. "Like…ummm…a bowl of cereal?"

"Oh yeah? And when did you eat that?"

"This morning," Chat Noir replied too quickly.

Marinette frowned at him.

His black cat ears drooped slightly. "Okay so maybe it was yesterday…the day before…three days ago…"

Marinette sighed again. "It's no wonder you've been feeling dizzy and passed out today, Chat. You stupid cat, I'll fix you up something to eat."

Confident that Chat Noir could stand on his own now, Marinette slowly let go of him and began making her way towards her bedroom door. She opened the hatch and was just about to start heading downstairs when Chat Noir seemed to snap out of his shock and run over to her. Marinette was shocked that he had any energy left to do such a thing.

"That's not necessary!" Chat Noir tried to protest.

"It's no trouble," Marinette dismissed him and began walking downstairs into the kitchen with Chat Noir hot on her heels. "I'm not going to make you anything major. You'd be sick if you stuff your face now. Your stomach needs a chance to adjust to having food in it again. I'm just going to make you some soup; start off nice and simple."

Marinette began opening and rummaging through the cupboards, looking for a saucer. Once she had that, she filled it with some water and placed it on the stove. Then after washing her hands, she began rummaging through the refrigerator and pulled out a handful of vegetables and other ingredients. Marinette stared down at everything in her arms, in a state of complete disbelief over what she was doing.

Cooking a meal for the boy who had nearly killed her. Had she gone mad? In fact, Marinette couldn't even remember the last time she had cooked anything. Probably before…before that night. After what had happened, Marinette didn't really eat much herself.

Despite how mad she was for doing this, maybe this _would_ be a good idea. Maybe through actions like these, Chat Noir might finally start to let his guard down and open up to her about what had happened. It was worth a try anyway. And despite how much him being near her right now made her skin crawl, she couldn't help but long for times gone by. She hated him, yet she still deeply cared about him at the same time. These paradoxical feelings were scrambling her brain, making her feel like two separate ropes were tied to each arm, pulling her in the opposite direction and ripping her apart.

Shaking her head and trying to push all of the complicated stuff to one side for now, Marinette focused on chopping some vegetables up. She wasn't quite sure if she remembered her great-uncle's recipe properly, but she knew it would be the best type of soup to help Chat Noir get his energy back.

Speaking of Chat Noir, Marinette thought to herself, he was being unusually quiet. Pausing so she didn't cut herself, Marinette slowly turned her head to peak at what Chat Noir was doing. He was stood by the shelves in the corner of the living room staring at something. Marinette leaned over slightly so she could look over his shoulder and frowned in confusion once she realised he was staring at a picture of her family.

It was a photo taken years ago of her and her parents. They were both smiling happily at the camera. Feelings of hopelessness and sadness began to overwhelm Marinette again. How she longed to jump back into that picture. Back into a time where everything was simple.

"What are you doing?" Marinette couldn't help but ask.

Chat Noir seemed slightly startled by her words as he quickly turned around with his eyes wide and his lips pressed into a tight thin line. He quickly changed his expression though, hiding whatever he was thinking behind a cocky grin as he strode towards her again.

"Just being a curious cat." He chuckled before leaning against the counter and frowning at her. "How come you know so much about what to do if you haven't eaten in a while anyway?" He regarded her suspiciously.

Marinette bit her lip as she scraped the vegetables off the chopping board and poured them into the saucer. She added some seasoning and began to stir, trying her best not to look at Chat Noir as she did so. However, she could feel his eyes burning holes in the back of her head.

"Let's just say I'm no stranger to not eating for days on end," Marinette admitted, her voice shaking slightly before she took a deep breath to calm herself down. "It used to be really bad. I refused to eat anything. I _couldn't_ eat anything. When you feel empty all over, it's hard to register things like hunger and thirst. I used to almost pass out like you're doing now. I scared my parents to death and they were terrified I was anorexic or something. So now I just force myself to eat when I can for their sake.

"I had no idea," she heard Chat Noir say quietly behind her, "you're so different from how I remember you. I remember how happy and optimistic you used to be. You were so brave when you faced off against Evillistrator. Heck, you were almost as good as…as good as…Ladybug…that day. It's a shame you're not a superhero. You'd make a good one."

Marinette's hand slipped slightly as she was stirring, knocking the saucer slightly and spilling a small portion of burning hot soup onto the back of her hand. Marinette yelped and quickly pulled the saucer back into place over the stove. She dropped the wooden spoon into the saucer and clung onto her wrist, staring at the back of her hand in panic. The skin felt red hot and was already turning slightly red. Marinette screamed as the flames began dancing before her vision.

No!

Not now!

Marinette kept screaming.

"Stop the fire!" Marinette screamed, barely registering the sound of Chat Noir gasping and nearly knocking a stool over as he ran towards her. "Get me out! GET ME OUT! HELP ME!"

The fire surrounded Marinette, torching and blistering her skin, cooking her alive inside its inferno. Marinette continued to grip her wrist and she looked down at her hand to inspect the damage again. Broken glass shards protruded from her skin leaving large gashes that oozed blood. Blisters and burns travelled from her hand all the way up her arm, and Marinette began coughing, chocking, spluttering, and desperate to breathe some air in the thick cloud of smoke that surrounded her.

"Marinette!" someone called her, and Marinette felt something grab hold of her arm.

"Chat Noir?" Marinette gasped out.

He hadn't decided to leave her in the flames. He had come back to save her. He had seen the error of his ways and come back to her.

With a small smile on her face, she let herself be pulled out of the fire and then gasped as her vision cleared again. She was back in her kitchen. Chat Noir had grabbed hold of her arm and was pulling her towards the kitchen sink. He began running the water before pulling Marinette's hand underneath it. She winced as the water stung her skin, but felt slightly better when Chat Noir wrapped his free arm around her, rubbing soothing circles into her arm.

"It's just a small burn, nothing to worry about." He smiled at her reassuringly, though it looked strained. "I never thought you of all people would be squeamish over such a thing."

Marinette smiled awkwardly despite the pain. "I have a very low pain threshold," she lied.

Chat Noir pulled her hand out from under the running water and inspected the small red mark on the back of her hand, gently stroking the side of her hand with his thumb as he did so to keep her calm. Marinette couldn't bring herself to look at the burn and instead focused on Chat Noir's face. She focused on the small little dent that formed in the middle of his forehead when he was concentrating on something. Once again, he was seeming…almost like his old self. Granted, he wasn't joking around as much as he used to, but at least he wasn't acting like a psychopath. That had to be something at least.

However, as if sensing her eyes on him, Chat Noir's eyes flickered towards her, and Marinette quickly looked away, her cheeks turning slightly pink as she did so. She extracted her hand from his and rubbed it slightly, trying to ignore the stinging sensation.

"The soup is ready," she announced, not looking at him as she walked back over to the stove and switched it off.

She got two bowls out of the cupboard and poured some for Chat Noir and some for herself – making sure not to burn herself this time. She could feel Chat Noir watching her intently the whole time, but she tried to ignore it. Pulling out two spoons from the drawer, Marinette set the bowls on the counter and pointed at a stool for Chat Noir to sit down.

He obeyed, but then stared down at the soup with a stubborn look on his face. Marinette sat down next to him and picked up her spoon before frowning at Chat Noir's reluctance.

"Please try and eat it, Chat," she urged. "You'll feel better once you have done. It's my great uncle's secret recipe you know."

Chat Noir nodded. "Yeah, I remember," he mumbled quietly before shakily picking up his spoon and stirring it around in the bowl.

Marinette shot him a sad look before she dipped her spoon in and raised it back up slightly before blowing on it. She offered Chat Noir a small smile before she spoke.

"Together on the count of three?"

Chat Noir bit his lip, but reluctantly nodded.

"One, two…three." Marinette put the spoonful of soup in her mouth, barely registering the divine flavours as she watched Chat Noir place a spoonful into his own mouth.

She smiled, satisfied that he was eating something and would hopefully get some of his energy back. Chat Noir seemed to cringe at first, unable to swallow. Finally, he did so and smiled slightly, stirring it around in his bowl some more.

"I had almost forgotten how good your uncle's soup was," he reminisced which shocked Marinette slightly.

"You've had his soup before?" Marinette couldn't ever remember having the soup with Chat Noir. The only person she had dined with after her great-uncle was akumatized was Adrien. She was sure that Chat Noir had never sampled a taste during the whole incident.

Chat Noir looked awkward for a moment. "Errr…yeah. I had it at the restaurant in the Mayor's hotel."

"Oh," was all Marinette could respond with as she kept eating, all the while watching Chat Noir out of the corner of her eye to make sure that he was eating properly, and that he wasn't going to try and think of some way to get out of it.

The stinging sensation on the back of Marinette's hand was slowly disappearing, and the soup was making her feel slightly better. Marinette hadn't even realised how chilly she had begun to feel, and how much her muscles and bones had begun to ache. She sniffed slightly as her nose began to run, however she was soon distracted by Chat Noir talking again.

"You have a lovely family," Chat Noir stared longingly towards the photograph on the shelf again.

"Huh?" Marinette said before looking towards where Chat Noir was staring. "Oh, yeah…thanks."

"You're very lucky to have parents who love you so much," Chat Noir breathed.

Marinette stopped eating her soup and just began playing with it as she looked down sadly. Her parents did love her. Though she didn't understand why right now. She rarely spoke to them these days and had little to do with them. She knew that she was scaring them with her weird behaviour. Yet, despite all that, they did continue to love and care for her. Her parents really were one in a million, and she was very lucky to have them. A lot of parents would have just thrown her into a hospital and be done with it. But not Tom and Sabine. They were willing to try and be there for her.

Marinette then turned her head slightly towards Chat Noir. "I'm sure your family loves you very much too."

Chat Noir visibly tensed next to her before slamming his spoon back into his now almost empty bowl. Some soup splashed onto the counter, and Marinette jumped slightly at his abrupt action.

"I don't have a family," Chat Noir growled out, " _not anymore._ "

Marinette gasped at his words before Chat Noir abruptly stood up with a dark expression on his face.

"Thank you for the soup," he muttered flatly, "but I really have to get going."

"No, Chat, wait!" Marinette pleaded, but it was too late.

Chat Noir had already leapt up into her bedroom and was already likely out of her balcony door by now. Marinette sighed to herself, sitting on her own in silence for a few minutes, her mind trying to catch up with everything that had just happened. Her heart ached at Chat Noir's words. Was he telling the truth? Had he really lost his entire family? Marinette couldn't imagine life without her parents. She couldn't even begin to imagine how Chat Noir must feel.

His words continued to haunt her mind as she cleaned up the kitchen. By the time she was done, her parents had got back and were walking through the front door. Marinette stood in the kitchen waiting for them. Her dad didn't seem to register her standing there as he collapsed onto the couch and turned the TV on. Sabine took her coat off and hung it up before gasping when she caught site of Marinette standing in the kitchen.

"Oh, Marinette, dear." Sabine stared at her daughter in concern, and Tom turned to look at her in shock. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine, mom." Marinette smiled softly. "I just finished cleaning the kitchen up."

"Oh, well, thank you sweetheart, but you didn't have to clean up." Sabine smiled awkwardly, talking to Marinette as if she might shatter into a million tiny pieces at the wrong word. "You go back up to bed and rest if you want. Don't worry, your father and I won't disturb you."

They both shot her worried glances.

Marinette thought for a moment. "Actually, I was thinking I might spend some time with you guys tonight. If that's okay at least?"

Sabine and Tom both stared at Marinette, completely speechless.

"Ummm…yes! Of course it would be, dear." Sabine beamed.

"You know we're always happy to have you around," Tom said, and Marinette smiled at both of them before sitting down on the couch next to her dad.

Both Tom and Sabine exchanged hopeful glances that Marinette couldn't see.

Marinette smiled slightly to herself as she curled up next to her father just like she used to do when they would spend evenings together. It felt surreal but… _good_ to be partaking in a normal ritual again. For the first time in a while, Marinette felt…content. For a moment, Marinette almost felt like she could forget about everything and just spend some much needed quality time with her long neglected parents.

 _Almost._

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 **I graduated university today! Managed to sneak in some time to finish the chapter, edit and post it. I'm probably gonna go collapse now ahaha - I'm so exhausted. Also, whoever invented high heels is an asshole. I feel like my feet have been forced into a blender. Feel free to let me know what you guys thought of the chapter. I always really appreciate feedback as it really helps me out a lot. See you again soon!**


	15. Strange Sensations

**Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all of your amazing reviews! It never ceases to amaze me just how many people read this story and enjoy it. And even if you're just leaving constructive criticism, thank you for that as well as one of the main reasons I started writing fanfiction was to try and improve my writing skills. Also, thank you so much to all those people who congratulated me on my graduation. It was really sweet of you.**

 **CAUTION: This chapter contains descriptions some may find disturbing.**

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 **Chapter 15: Strange Sensations**

"Everything I have done, everything I will do, is not out of evil my son," Hawkmoth's voice echoed through his lair.

Streaks of sunlight shone onto his back through the round window, casting a shadow in the shape of a butterfly beneath his feet. White butterflies glowed and fluttered all around them. It was such a beautiful sight in an otherwise sinister and terrifying situation. It only served as more of a reminder of what his father was. Of what his father had done.

The villain leered over the collapsed figure of Chat Noir as he lay on the ground, completely numb to everything. The black cat hero was curled up into a tight ball, trembling beneath his father's gaze as blood dripped down from his nose. The bruises ached across his body, but Chat Noir couldn't bring himself to care. For nothing could hurt more in this moment than the pain and betrayal that he felt inside his heart. The pain was so unbearable that Chat Noir could no longer bring himself to move. He didn't even twitch in pain, he just lay there motionless on the ground, terrified and defeated. His baton had been knocked to the other side of the room, glistening slightly in the limited light that the one and only window above them provided.

 _His own father_ …

All this time…his own father had been Hawkmoth.

His arch enemy had been his _father_.

It couldn't be true, it just couldn't.

Yet there he stood. Chat Noir had seen him transform in front of his very own eyes. The evidence was undeniable, yet Chat Noir still didn't want to believe it. It seemed that curiosity really did kill the cat. Only this time, satisfaction wouldn't bring it back to life. The painful truth had sent him to an eternal hell where he was being tortured. Demons poked and prodded at him, laughing as they mocked and reminded him of the ugly truth that smiled a deranged smile down at him.

Why did Chat Noir allow himself to spy on his own father? He had been suspicious of his father's strange behaviour for a while, and deep down, Chat Noir always knew that he probably didn't want to know the answer.

Why did he let Plagg encourage him? He had found his father's lair. He remained hidden as he watched Gabriel Agreste transform into none other than Hawkmoth. He had seen his used and abused kwami, shaking and completely terrified in Gabriel's presence. Referring to his father as his _master._

That's when Hawkmoth had turned around and spotted him.

Without thinking, and feeling nothing but pure anger and rage, Adrien had transformed into Chat Noir, exposing his own identity to the very villain he had been fighting since day one. In that moment, Chat Noir didn't care. All he had wanted to do was hurt his father. To inflict all the pain that he had inflicted onto everyone in the city of Paris. His own father had used his friends. Akumatized them and forced them to do his bidding. He had hurt his lady and put her life in danger. All those times Chat Noir himself had nearly been killed by an akuma. His father was _evil._

 _Pure evil._

"You monster!" Chat Noir screamed, blood dripping from his mouth from when his father had struck him with his cane during their fight. It felt like he might have busted his lip. Parts of his face were starting to painfully swell, and Chat Noir placed a hand against his nose and mouth before pulling it away, watching in horror as the blood his father spilled dripped between his fingers before staining the ground beneath him. He then clenched his hand into a tight fist before glaring murderously up at his father.

Hawkmoth stared down at him, his grey eyes as cold and hard as steel. He stood completely straight, leaning both of his hands on top of his cane. However, his father's expression soon morphed into pity as he stared down at his son. Looking down his nose at him, Hawkmoth finally sighed before turning around to stare out of the window. It was almost as if he was mocking Chat Noir. He knew Chat was too injured and weak to do anything right now. Hawkmoth mockingly let his guard down, presenting Chat Noir with the perfect opportunity to strike him.

Chat Noir reached a hand up and tried to push himself towards the villain in front of him, but instead fell back into a heap on the floor. His arms and knees wobbled before collapsing under his own weight, and his face scraped the floor. Defeated, Chat Noir simply lay there as his father let out a light chuckle.

"Pathetic," Hawkmoth scolded, twisting slightly to look down at his son. "You've been given one of the most powerful miraculous in the universe and you don't even use it to its full potential. You have no idea the amount of power you possess. Instead, you and Ladybug waste it. But I…oh, I know how to use it." He smirked.

"You'll never get the chance," Chat Noir weakly choked out before he spat out more blood.

Hawkmoth ignored him. "I suspected that you were Chat Noir some time ago. I should have followed my instincts. All this time, the ring was right under my nose. Did you enjoy your little time being a superhero?"

Chat Noir said nothing, merely glaring up at him.

Hawkmoth narrowed his eyes. "You're too precious to me to allow you to continue. I love you too much to see you waste all of your potential like that."

"Love me so much that you beat me to a pulp," Chat Noir sneered.

"Just like I said…pathetic. I'm trying to show you that your potential is being wasted. You could barely hold your own against me, self-taught in miraculous magic, whereas you…you haven't got a clue, have you? If you really want to continue being a miraculous holder, I could help you, and in return, you could help me…help both of us."

"Deluded as well as psychotic," Chat Noir chuckled humourlessly. "You want power just like any other stereotypical villain, like a moth drawn to a flame."

Hawkmoth smirked. "I don't care about power. There's something dangerous hidden deep with you, Adrien. You possess the power of destruction and that power is longing to burst out of you. I can help you unlock that. Together, we can use that to get your mother back."

Chat Noir narrowed his eyes. "Mom's dead."

It cut through him to state that in such a matter-of-fact manner, but it was the truth. His father was completely deluded. If he could just find the energy and strength to push himself upwards, maybe he could try and reach for his baton. He needed to call Ladybug. As much as he wanted to face his father alone beforehand, his brain finally caught up with his emotions, and he knew that wouldn't be possible. His father was too strong and too cunning. He needed Ladybug. Together, they could finally stop Hawkmoth.

The thought of defeating his father painfully stabbed him in the heart, letting warm blood seep out inside his chest, flooding his body with the thick liquid and drowning him from the inside. He was angry. More angry than he had ever been in his entire life. It tore his body to shreds with its sharp teeth and consumed every inch of him. He'd lost his mother, and now he had lost his father as well.

After he and Ladybug took his miraculous, it was clear that his father would be arrested. His father had been the only family he had left. He was only fourteen. What would happen to him afterwards? What would he do? Where would he go? He wasn't old enough in the eyes of the law to look after himself. Nathalie had been in on this whole thing, so she would be arrested too, so she couldn't look after him either.

Chat Noir dug his claws into the ground, leaving deep scratch marks. His father had often made his life a living hell. He had spent most of his life locked away inside their family mansion, lonely and unhappy. Chloé had been his only friend, though he had only rarely seen her over the years. His father had controlled every inch of his life, never allowing him any freedom to be just a normal teenager.

And now…now his father had taken his life into the palm of his hand and tore it into a million tiny pieces. He had taken a great, big hammer and shattered the fragile rose tinted glass Chat Noir had viewed the world from behind. Chat Noir had never felt more alone in that moment. More alone than the time his father had flatly broken the news that his mother was gone before slamming his office door in his face. More alone than all the times he had been locked and abandoned in his room with nothing but material possessions to keep him company. So alone, that it felt like he was in the middle of an endless desert with no sign of life anywhere. The intense heat burned him, and the dry sand blew into his face, stinging his eyes as he looked in every direction for any sign of somebody he could just reach for.

But nobody came.

Just like he had been most of his life, Chat Noir was alone.

"For now she is, yes." Hawkmoth frowned before holding his hand up and clenching his fist. "But with the power of yours and Ladybug's miraculous, we can get her back. Possessing both the ladybug and cat miraculous grants you absolute power. You can wish for anything in the universe. The universe will bow to your will."

Chat Noir's eyes widened, no longer able to contain the tears as they streamed down his cheeks, mixing with his blood, creating thick, red waterfalls that cascaded to the ground.

Hawkmoth then looked down at his son with a dangerous glint in his eyes. Chat Noir looked hopelessly down at the ground before squeezing his eyes shut. He needed to figure a way out of this. His father was completely and utterly deranged; completely beyond help. It was really starting to seem hopeless. Would Ladybug and Chat Noir even stand a chance against him?

His father fought dirty. There was nothing Chat Noir would love more than to have his mother back, but to risk handing his father his miraculous? Plus, there was no way that Ladybug would ever agree to such a thing. There was nothing Chat Noir could do.

Or was there?

Adrien's eyes fluttered open, feeling as heavy as lead. His whole body felt like it was drenched in a layer of cold sweat, and when he tried to move his limbs, he began to panic when he realised he couldn't. It was like his entire body was pinned to his bed by an enormous weight that was pressed against his chest. He desperately tried to wiggle his fingers and toes, but they wouldn't budge.

Eyes wide with panic, Adrien could only look up as a ghostly figure hovered above him.

He gasped as Ladybug smiled down at him, floating above him as if she was underwater. Her black hair held in pigtails billowed out next to her, as did the red ribbons that kept her hair in place. Her blue eyes sparkled as she continued to smile at the paralysed form of Adrien below her.

She waved her arms slightly which sent her slowly floating down towards him. All Adrien could do was watch in shock, completely transfixed by the sight of those gorgeous bluebell eyes that he was so sure he would never see again. Tears began to form in his eyes, and his heart leapt in his chest at the sight of her. He longed to reach up and touch her pale skin and feel its softness beneath his fingers again, only he remained completely paralysed, powerless to do anything but watch her.

Down she continued to float until her arms reached for him, stretching them until they cupped both of his cheeks. Soon, her chest was pressed against his own, and Adrien's heart exploded at the sensation. She was so tantalisingly close to him. He just wished that he could reach up and wrap his arms around her and never let her go again. He would keep her protected forever. Safe from harm unlike what he had failed to do that fateful night.

She had come back to him. All those years of longing for her. All those years of his heart reaching out for her, only to forever grasp at nothing. Now she was finally back and he would never let her go again.

Cold as ice, her lips gently pressed against his own, sending shivers across his entire body. Adrien closed his eyes, savouring this beautiful moment. How long had he been desperate to feel his lady's lips against his own? Too long. Way too long.

He wanted so desperately to reach up and press her body even closer to his own. To run his fingers through her dark hair and savour its softness. He wanted this moment to never end. His tears mixed in with the kiss, making her lips taste salty, but underneath, there was still that delectable and addicting taste of his lady. He wanted more. He _needed_ more.

Too soon, Ladybug pulled away, and Adrien's eyes fluttered open, a happy and content smile on his face, before his eyes widened and he gasped in horror. Ladybug still hovered above him, only she now looked completely disfigured. She laughed down at him maniacally as grotesque burns travelled up her arms and towards her chest, burning away her suit and leaving nothing but charred and blistered flesh. Blood and puss oozed from her body, making Adrien scream and try to thrash around, but he was still powerless to move, completely paralysed and at her mercy.

"You did this," Ladybug hissed down at him. "You did this to me!"

She then laughed again as her flesh continued to melt away. Blood and bits of muscle dripped down onto Adrien, staining his body and his sheets. Her skin and muscle sizzled and burned, yet all the while, Ladybug continued to laugh down at him. Her bones became exposed, her skull still laughing as her eyeballs melted out of their sockets, becoming nothing more than a red and white liquid that dribbled and oozed down onto Adrien's horrified form.

Her laughter died down, becoming nothing more than an echo in his room as her bones turned to nothing more than ash before disappearing completely.

Adrien screamed and could finally move again, sitting bolt upright in bed, panting and sweating as he quickly looked down to inspect himself. There was no blood, no bits of flesh…nothing. He and his bed were completely clean as if nothing had just happened.

Still gasping for air, Adrien frantically looked around before freezing when he caught sight of his kwami fast asleep on his pillow next to where his head had just been. Plagg stirred slightly in his sleep before wrapping his black tail around himself and snuggled further into Adrien's soft pillows, snoring away loudly.

Ladybug wasn't here. She hadn't come back to him. She hadn't burned and melted away in front of him.

Was…was that what it had been like for her? How long was she screaming in pain, completely alone among the hot flames of the blaze? Had…had that been how she was killed? How her flesh had melted away until there was nothing left for them to find?

Adrien's stomach churned and bubbled in his abdomen, and his knees wobbled beneath him. He then gasped and darted towards his en suite, slamming the door open and running straight towards the toilet. Collapsing to his knees, Adrien vomited up the small contents of his stomach, mainly consisting of the soup Marinette had made for him yesterday.

He heaved violently as the horrifying images of Ladybug continued to assault his mind. His throat and mouth burned, but it didn't take him long to finish. However, Adrien was still dry heaving for a good few minutes afterwards. His chest contracted painfully, like someone had placed him in the middle of a huge vice and was trying to squeeze the life out of him. He gasped for air loudly as he leaned on his hands against the seat of the toilet, the bathroom tiles feeling amazingly cold beneath his legs as the coolness seeped through the fabric of his jeans.

Once he was sure he was finished, Adrien flushed the toilet, however, he continued to sit slouched on his bathroom floor, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to fight off the horrible images he had just witnessed.

 _That…that had been the fate of his lady._ That was what he had allowed to happen.

 _He_ had done that to her.

"Hey, kid, you okay?" Plagg's voice made Adrien jump slightly, and he looked up to see his kwami hovering above him, looking down at his holder with a tired and apathetic expression. However, Adrien could still see the love and care hidden deep within Plagg's green eyes.

"I'm fine," Adrien lied, wiping the tears off his cheeks with the back of his hand.

"Yeah, and I hate cheese," Plagg mumbled sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

Adrien sighed. "Just another bad dream that's all."

Plagg said nothing as he continued to hover above Adrien. Adrien finally sighed and forced himself to stand up, wobbling slightly as he did so before righting himself. He stumbled over towards his sink before brushing his teeth and rinsing his mouth out as much as he could to get rid of the foul, acidic taste in his mouth.

Once he had spat out the contents of his mouth for the final time, Adrien leaned against the sink and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He could see Plagg watching him cautiously from behind. Adrien looked like a complete wreck. Marinette was right, he had lost a worrying amount of weight.

"She was right there, Plagg," Adrien whimpered out, "I could almost reach out and touch her, but I couldn't. Then she…" Adrien cringed, unable to continue.

Plagg remained silent, looking away from Adrien with a deep frown on his face. Meanwhile, Adrien felt like he was on the verge of collapsing again. His stomach burned and his whole body ached as if he had just been run over by a huge truck. His eyes were heavy with exhaustion, and his heart longed for his lady.

However, the face of Marinette invaded his mind instead. Adrien quickly shook his head. He wanted Ladybug. So why did his mind keep automatically going to Marinette?

Once again, Marinette was all he could think of. She engulfed his mind and deep down, Adrien knew that she was the only person who could make him feel better. In this cold, dark void, she was his only source of light and warmth. The only person who gave him meaning by his unfathomable and intense urge to protect her and keep her safe.

"Listen, Adrien…" Plagg spoke quietly. "I didn't want to tell you before, but…"

"I've gotta go see, Marinette," Adrien gasped out desperately, ignoring his kwami. "We've got to get going right now. Plagg, claws –"

"No, Adrien, listen –" Plagg tried to protest.

" _I said_ ," Adrien replied threateningly, interrupting his kwami again, " _claws out_."

His ring activated, and Plagg sighed as he began to be pulled towards it. He folded his arms across his little chest with a stubborn and frustrated expression on his face.

"Fine, have it your way," Plagg mumbled as he was sucked into the ring.

Adrien was shocked by his lack of protesting and screaming over not wanting to transform him, but he decided to ignore it. Once he had transformed back into Chat Noir in a burst of green light, he wasted no time in dashing out of his mansion and into the crisp, afternoon air of Paris. The leaves were starting to turn orange and red, looking like small flames beneath him as he flew over the streets.

However, Chat Noir was being unusually careful this time. Normally, he wouldn't care about being spotted, but this time, he definitely wanted no disturbances. He just wanted a quiet day and to quickly find his princess. As always, she was the only person who could make him feel better. After his terrifying dreams and hallucinations, he just had to make sure that she was okay as well. The way the leaves had turned the colour of fire certainly weren't helping him feel any better. Long before, Chat Noir always enjoyed the beautiful colours that autumn brought. But not anymore. Their haunting colours now only reminded him of…what happened.

Growling to himself as a tight knot formed in his chest, he pressed on, using his baton to hop from one roof to another. Judging by the sun, it looked like it was starting to approach the afternoon, so Chat Noir knew that Marinette would likely be at school at this time. He wasn't sure whether it would be best to approach her at some point in the day. As much as he desperately wanted to, he didn't know whether Marinette would want him around. He had caused her enough pain and trouble with his weird obsession with her.

It was so strange. He was beginning to find himself caring more and more about Marinette's feelings and what his behaviour was doing to her. Up until now, when he needed his fix of her, he just went and found her without caring too much about scaring her, but it was like…something was changing inside him. It was like…he was finally caring about another person again. The feeling felt so strange and foreign to him after all these years.

Shaking off his confused thoughts, Chat Noir finally arrived at the school and began trying to peer through every window of the building without being seen, looking for any sign of Marinette's class – his old class. Luckily, it didn't take long, and Chat Noir finally located Nino and Alya sitting at the front of their science class.

Chat Noir scanned the classroom and grew increasingly more panicked when he realised that Marinette was nowhere to be seen. The desk behind Alya and Nino was completely empty. Everyone else seemed to be there, so why wasn't Marinette? He scanned Alya's and Nino's faces, but they didn't look too worried as they were busy whispering and giggling amongst themselves.

Chat Noir could feel himself beginning to pant in fear. His heart pounded in his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again, hoping in vain that maybe Marinette would just magically appear at her desk and that she would be okay. But she didn't. Her seat remained empty and there was no sign of her bag.

Maybe she had gone to the bathroom? Chat Noir continued to wait, clinging onto the tree branch tightly as worried sweat dripped down from his forehead. The minutes ticked by, but Marinette never walked through the classroom door. Finally, the bell rang and everyone began packing away their things.

If she wasn't at school, where was she? Had something terrible happened to her? Marinette was so fragile and vulnerable. Chat Noir knew he would never be able to forgive himself if something had happened to her. What if he had failed again? What if he had failed to protect another person who was extremely important to him? He needed to find her!

Leaping off the tree, Chat Noir knew that the first place he should look was the small apartment that she shared with her parents. The bakery looked busy, so Chat Noir was extra careful while leaping from rooftop to rooftop, making sure that no one waiting outside the bakery spotted him. If the bakery was open, that meant her parents couldn't be too worried.

That thought did nothing to help calm him down though. He shuffled down the roof as quietly as he could before dropping down onto Marinette's balcony. Without thinking, he yanked open her balcony door before he froze and sighed with relief.

She was here.

She looked completely fine.

Before Chat Noir had the chance to happily jump down and greet her, he froze again at the adorable sound of her sneezing. She sniffed before blowing her nose into a tissue before throwing it into her now overflowing trash can. Despite it being the afternoon, she was still dressed in her pyjamas and she kept tugging on the sleeve of her shirt before picking up her pencil again and staring down at the many pieces of paper in front of her.

Curious, Chat Noir quietly jumped down and landed on her bed, however, he wasn't quiet enough, and ended up startling his princess. Marinette gasped and twisted around to stare at Chat Noir with wide eyes. Her face was completely pale and covered by a thin layer of sweat. Chat Noir gasped at the sight of her. She was sick. That's why she wasn't at school today.

"Chat! You scared me!" she gasped, placing a hand on her chest in an effort to calm her racing heart.

"Sorry, I just…I needed to see you," Chat Noir admitted, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

"What's wrong?" Marinette frowned at him worriedly.

She was worried about him? When had she seemingly suddenly started to care for him? It had come to a huge surprise to him yesterday when she had helped him after he had passed out. He had been so stupid. He could have fainted anywhere and then anyone could have taken his ring and his identity would be exposed. Hell, he was surprised that Marinette hadn't taken his ring. But…she didn't.

Despite not understanding why she hadn't, Chat Noir still found himself feeling incredibly grateful. No doubt once his identity was exposed and he no longer had his miraculous, he would be thrown into a maximum security facility for the criminally insane, just like his father. It looked like insanity ran in the family. Chat Noir was insane for doing what he was. But he just couldn't stop himself. He _needed_ to be around Marinette.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that question, princess?" Chat Noir asked, his voice full of concerned as he jumped down off her bed and walked towards her.

Marinette backed away slightly before holding herself in place. She flinched slightly when Chat Noir placed a hand against her forehead, brushing strands of dark hair out of her face. He frowned worriedly when he realised how warm she felt.

"You're burning up, princess," he noted, frowning down at her.

Marinette rolled her eyes. "It's what I get for standing out in that storm yesterday."

Chat Noir looked away and bit his lip. It was all his fault that she was ill. If he hadn't acted so stupidly and let his strange emotions control him, she wouldn't have been out in the storm that long. He had attacked Nathaniel, an old friend of his. What had he been thinking? He had terrified Marinette, and then terrorised Paris afterwards, not caring about other people other than his need to destroy.

 _Destroy._

Chat Noir winced backwards slightly, instinctively placing a hand on his head as it began to throb painfully. He could feel something bubbling up inside him again. Something unknown…something terrifying. It was the very ravenous feeling he had felt when he had attacked Paris yesterday. His head began to spin, and once again, it felt like his knees were going to buckle out from beneath him at any second.

Marinette gasped and placed a hand on his arm. The feeling of her touching him seemed to be enough to chase that strange feeling away, but not entirely. It was as if Marinette was some sort of weak pain killer, and through his blurred vision, he could just about make out her concerned expression as she stared up at him.

He stumbled forward slightly, his mind a tornado of pain, anger and a strange need. His hands twitched, and his claws tingled with a desire to dig themselves into something. He'd been having this strange feeling for years and he had always embraced it. Letting his anger and the need to destroy consume him. Up until now, it was the only thing that reminded him that he was alive. That he wasn't just floating down a raging river of pain and grief that left him empty inside.

But now…now that he had Marinette, something was beginning to feel wrong about it. That feeling was beginning to feel like it was growing out of control as it got worse.

His head still pounding, Chat Noir stumbled forward slightly until his hand was leaning on top of Marinette's desk, just above the chest of drawers underneath. His eyes found themselves drawn to the top drawer, and Chat Noir frowned in confusion. He could feel something. Like something was calling to him from a distance, yet Chat Noir couldn't quite pick up its frequency.

"Chat?" Marinette's voice brought him out of his thoughts again as she grabbed hold of his hand and slowly moved it away from the drawer, looking slightly nervous as she did so.

Chat Noir shook his head, finally clearing it. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Marinette didn't look convinced as she stood up and placed herself between Chat Noir and her desk, looking at him with suspicion.

"Anyway, never mind me." Chat Noir frowned at her. "If you're sick, you should be in bed."

"Yeah, but I –"

Marinette yelped as Chat Noir reached under her legs before picking her up bridal style. She squealed in fright, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck before glaring at him in confusion. Chat Noir ignored her though, and began walking them both back towards Marinette's bed.

"What are you doing?!" Marinette gasped. "Put me down!"

"You shouldn't be up and about when you're feeling like this. You need to rest," Chat Noir ordered before easily lifting Marinette up over the bars of her bed as if she was as light as a feather.

He then gently placed her down on her bed, however, Marinette quickly sat up again, glaring down at Chat Noir before he gently pushed her back down again. It was nice to know that despite everything else that had changed, her stubbornness had remained the same.

Marinette was too weak to fight him off, and Chat Noir quickly pulled her covers up and over her, tucking her into bed like a small child. The whole time, Marinette glared at him, and Chat Noir shot her a large, innocent smile in return.

"There's no need to treat me like a child," she protested stubbornly.

Chat Noir chuckled and patted her on the head, much to her further humiliation and dismay. "Hey, you looked after me yesterday, so I think it's only fair that I return the favour."

"There's no need!" Marinette tried to insist before Chat Noir held his hand up.

"It's no trouble."

Marinette thought for a moment. "Paris' most terrifying villain as my nurse for the day? Could this day get anymore weird?"

"I'm no villain," Chat Noir frowned at her, wincing slightly at her words.

Marinette bit her lip, seeming to realise she had gone too far. That made a surprising change. Normally, she didn't hesitate to try and push his buttons, just to see how far she could get with him. Chat Noir was grateful though. The last thing he currently wanted to do was have another fight with her. Yesterday had been so good. He had briefly seen the old Marinette. The warm and caring side that he always used to admire from afar all those years ago.

Then he had to go and ruin it. The reminder of a happy family had been too much for him. Staring at that photo had made him so jealous of Marinette. She had such a loving family. Chat Noir could barely remember what love felt like. The only person in his life who had ever properly provided him with it was his mother. But she was gone.

Chat Noir had almost felt that warmth and affection again yesterday when Marinette had took care of him. It felt strange. It felt scary. And like the coward Chat Noir often was, he fled from it. Because he could never hold on to a good thing. He always had to destroy it or run away from it. Well not anymore.

He was going to cling onto Marinette with everything he had. Starting with repaying her for the way she had treated him yesterday. He would look after her the way she had looked after him. From now on, he was always going to take care of his special princess.

Something in Marinette was beginning to change. Something inside _himself_ was beginning to change. He was going to do everything within his power to nurture that, he thought to himself as he couldn't help but gently stroke a strand of Marinette's hair while she was busy trying to get comfortable. He was going to do everything in his power to help Marinette, not just protect her from danger.

Chat Noir was going to fix her.

* * *

 **But will things be that easy? I ended up having to split this chapter into two. I'm so excited for the next chapter now. All the fluff and cuteness is coming your way! I started feeling ill halfway through writing this chapter, so getting this finished felt like hell. Stupid heat. I really don't cope well in it. Sometimes I feel like packing my bags and moving to Antarctica. Probably the only thing stopping me is that I'd have no internet lol.**

 **Also, does anyone have any creepy sleep paralysis stories like poor Adrien? I've had it twice and thought I saw the ghost of a dead relative and another time I hallucinated that there were giant spiders next to my bed *shudders*. Feel free to me know what you thought of the chapter in a review, as it really helps me out if you're kind enough to do so. See you guys soon and I hope you all have a lovely week.**


	16. Discoloured

**Hi everyone and I hope that you're all having a lovely week. I apologise that this chapter took way longer than normal. I have a lot going on at the moment and I've been super stressed. Finding time to write this chapter was extremely difficult. On that note, when stuff like this happens, can people please not boss me about and order me to update? I don't mind people telling me how excited they are for the next chapter and hoping that I update soon, that's fine. But I've had a few people bossing me around on here lately and I don't like it so please maybe show a bit of consideration? This story in particular may have larger gaps between updates as this story can be draining and difficult to write due to the themes that are involved.**

 **On that note, Squish, you're so sweet to me. I only wish you had an account so I could message you to say thank you for all of your kind words. I really appreciate all your feedback and words of encouragement. They're a big help to me, thank you so much!**

 **Thank you to those of you who were patient and understood that I had a lot going on. Thank you so much for all of your awesome reviews! They are all so amazing to read and feedback is always what keeps me writing. Also, this story has now reached over 400 follows which is just…wow! Thank you so much guys!**

 **CAUTION: This chapter contains descriptions of a panic attack.**

* * *

 **Chapter 16: Discoloured**

"Look, I can look after myself okay?" Marinette grumbled for the eleventh time, sulking as she stared up at the ceiling with her arms stubbornly crossed over her chest.

Chat Noir wasn't surprised. As soon as he laid her down on her bed and tried to tuck her in to make sure she was warm enough, the inevitable pout formed on her face as she refused to let him help her out in any way. All he had done was ask if she needed extra blankets. Her slight tremors betrayed her continuous insistence that she was fine when she was obviously still slightly cold.

It made Chat Noir almost panic to see her in such a state. This was all his fault. If he hadn't gone crazy at Nathaniel, Marinette would have likely got back inside sooner instead of standing out in the rain. Looking after her was the least he could do. He wanted Marinette to get better – physically and mentally.

He had promised himself that he was going to fix her.

And he intended to keep that promise.

For some strange reason, he felt a deep connection with Marinette. He had always found her endearing years ago when they had both been to school together, but he had never really given her that much thought. She was his first friend, yet they often had very little to do with each other. Honestly, he had always wondered if Marinette was secretly still mad at him over the chewing gum incident. She had always stuttered around him and seemed to get flustered. But Chat Noir had always brushed it off. After he dropped out of school, she rarely if ever crossed his mind.

But when he had seen her that night after saving her…it was like he felt drawn towards her.

It was like she was a powerful magnet, completely oblivious of how she constantly drew him to her. Chat Noir couldn't make sense of it, but…maybe it was because he could instinctively tell that she was almost as broken as he was on the inside. He could tell from the moment he set eyes on her again that something wasn't right.

She had lost weight, despite being quite skinny to begin with. She no longer wore her hair in the bouncy, bubbly pigtails that perfectly represented her cute and happy personality. Instead, it looked like she had cut her hair, simply wearing it in a short bob that barely touched her shoulders. It was like she had given up making an effort with herself.

As far as Chat Noir could tell, she didn't wear make-up anymore. Back at school, she normally just wore some eyeliner and lip gloss, but now there was nothing. She used to design all of her own clothes that were often brightly coloured and unique. He remembered the cute, pink and white pyjamas she used to wear that she had accidentally forgotten to change herself out of long ago when he had been desperate to see his mother's movie.

Now she just simply wore black leggings and a large sweatshirt, like she was trying to hide as much of herself as possible. The dark grey colour of the sweatshirt only served to highlight how small and skinny she had become, along with how pale her skin was. It was like she hadn't seen sunlight in years. It made her skin look papery and delicate, as if one wrong move would cause it to tear. All the colour had completely drained out of her, making her a mere shadow of her former self.

The way she behaved…it reminded Chat Noir very much of himself.

It was clear that something had happened to Marinette. Something had happened that had twisted her into what she was now. Curiosity ate away at him, and he longed to know what had happened that had caused the once optimistic and friendly girl to become a shell of her former self. The drastic personality change was incredibly jarring. But the old Marinette had to be in there somewhere. The real Marinette, not the hollow, cynical, ghost of a girl she had become.

Chat Noir would find some way to help her find herself again. She looked as lost as he felt. Without… _Ladybug_ …nothing in his life made sense anymore. He'd lost everything that night. His mother, his father, his friends and the love of his life. But it felt like Marinette gave him some sort of purpose. Being in her presence almost made him feel like he could breathe again. Like someone had placed a hand over the hole in his chest to stop the endless bleeding. It wasn't perfect, and it wasn't healed, but it was a start.

That feeling alone was enough to make him want to stay by her side. To help her as much as she was helping him, and she wasn't even trying. Being with her was like seeing small rays of sunshine after years of being locked away in a dark room. It wasn't the same as seeing the actual sun though. Ladybug was his sun and she always would be. But to just get a hint, a taste of that light again, no matter what small form it came in was enough to make him feel slightly better. And Chat Noir would take feeling slightly better any day. Anything beat the constant feeling of clinging onto the edge of that cliff. Despite her previous attempts to push him off the edge, it was like Marinette had suddenly grabbed hold of his hand, providing him with a small sense of safety and strength.

But could he trust her though? Could he trust that she wasn't going to simply just let go of his hand and send him plummeting down into the unknown?

With all his heart, he wanted to believe that Marinette was what he needed to help pull him away from the dangerous cliff edge. But his head told him to trust no one. His head was telling him that Marinette was not Ladybug. He couldn't selfishly use her as some sort of substitute.

Was that what he was doing?

Chat Noir found himself blinking in confusion at that thought.

He knew Marinette wasn't Ladybug. He knew that Marinette could never hold a candle to his lady. What was he thinking? It was almost as if he was acting as if he had feelings for Marinette – which he didn't. He felt…drawn to her, but that was it. He was obsessed with making sure that she was okay since she seemed so fragile and vulnerable.

Marinette was just a friend though.

Nothing more.

She could never be anything more.

Chat Noir knew that no one could replace Ladybug in his heart.

 _No one._

 _Not ever._

At those thoughts, Chat Noir squeezed his eyes tightly shut and almost doubled over in pain. What would his lady think of him now? Marinette had been right. It almost seemed Marinette knew Ladybug almost as well as he did. She would hate what he had become. She would hate that he terrorised Paris just to feel something other than endless pain and grief for once. She would hate that he locked himself away from the world. She would hate him for what he did to her that night. That thought always caused his chest to pulsate painfully…the thought that…she had died thinking that…

It was too late now.

She would never know.

But did she know now, wherever she was? Was there some sort of afterlife? Was Ladybug watching him right now? If she knew the truth, would she forgive him for it? Would finding out the truth finally allow her soul to rest in peace? But Chat Noir had never told anybody so how would she know?

He was pretty sure that his father had figured it out, though he never directly admitted that he knew. He probably easily put the pieces together when Chat Noir had attacked him and just silently accepted it. Chat Noir had never wanted to go and see his father to explain. He wasn't worth it. He didn't deserve it.

The last time Chat Noir had seen his father was at the trial. His grey eyes had easily picked his son out, hidden at the back of the audience, his face covered by his hood. What sickened Chat Noir was that his father's eyes held no remorse. Despite going insane, his father had been declared fit to stand trial. Everyone always knew that the verdict would be guilty. The question was, what was going to happen to him afterwards? His miraculous was seized by authorities before it went missing. Though Chat Noir didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.

Until Marinette…

The sound of Marinette coughing finally snapped Chat Noir out of his deep thoughts as she sat up slightly in bed to help clear her congested chest. She placed her hand over her mouth which muffled the sound, and Chat Noir couldn't help but stare at her, completely transfixed. Despite looking ill, she really was quite pretty.

Chat Noir longed to see her healthy again, both physically and mentally. He longed to see her smiling up at him like she used to smile all those years ago. There had always been something contagious about her smile. It made everyone feel optimistic, like they could do anything. Chat Noir knew that seeing that smile would also help him feel better. To know that he had done something good in helping her get through this dark patch she seemed to be going through. To know that one of his oldest friends was now feeling better.

"If you keep digging your claws into my bed, there's going to be nothing left of it," Marinette commented, raising an eyebrow as she stared down at Chat Noir's hands.

Chat looked down to see what she was talking about, and quickly relaxed his hands when he saw that he had indeed been digging his claws into her mattress, leaving tiny holes in the process.

"Are you okay?" Marinette asked slowly, regarding Chat Noir with suspicion.

"I'm fine." Chat plastered a smile onto his face, though Marinette didn't look convinced by it. "But today is not about me, it's about you. I'm here to look after you, not the other way around."

"Really, that's not necessary," Marinette tried to nervously protest.

"Hey, you looked after me, it's only fair that I return the favour," Chat Noir insisted before he looked Marinette over again.

She looked away awkwardly in response, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink that finally brought some beautiful colour to her otherwise sickly pale skin that looked practically devoid of life. She chewed on her lip before she gasped as Chat Noir pushed her back down into bed and pulled the covers back over her.

"Hey!" Marinette exclaimed an annoyance, "I'm not an invalid."

Chat Noir rolled his eyes. "You're sick and I'm going to be taking care of you whether you like it or not, so just stop being stubborn. Princesses deserve to be taken care of."

He winked at her before flashing her a smirk as her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of pink. Her eyes were slightly wide before she shook her head and went back to pouting, though thankfully, she didn't try and protest and sit up again.

"Whatever you say nurse Noir," Marinette mumbled, half joking, half annoyed.

Chat snorted before he assessed her again. "Okay, so get the patient to rest, check." He thought for a moment. "Have you eaten anything?"

Marinette shook her head. "I was too busy being sick this morning to eat. My mom has left me some soup in the microwave, but I don't think I can man –"

"Say no more," Chat interrupted her, running towards her bedroom door.

"What?!" Marinette gasped. "Chat, no! I don't wanna be sick again!"

Chat Noir paused by her bedroom door just as he was about to open it. He looked up at Marinette who had sat up in bed again with her hand outstretched, begging him to stop. Her eyes were filled with worry, and her whole body seemed to be trembling weakly.

His heart lurched in his chest slightly at seeing her like this. She looked so worried and frightened. Chat Noir never would have guessed that Marinette was someone who had a fear of being sick, but it seemed like she did. But he wasn't going to let her starve herself just because she was afraid. She needed the energy, otherwise she would never get better.

"When was the last time you were sick?" Chat Noir asked seriously, frowning at her slightly.

"I don't know…" Marinette thought for a moment. "Early this morning I guess?"

"Well then I think you should be fine. You need to eat, princess, you need to get your strength back otherwise it'll take you longer to get well again."

Chat Noir refused to listen to her further protests; he was determined to make her well again. If anyone deserved to be well and happy again, it was Marinette. Whatever she was going through, she didn't deserve it. She was one of the kindest people he had ever met. He wished he knew what had happened to make Marinette this way. Whatever it was, Chat Noir would make sure that he was going to do everything within his power to help Marinette overcome it.

Ignoring Marinette's protests, he quickly jumped down from her bedroom and down into the kitchen, not even bothering to use the stairs. It felt incredibly weird being alone in the Dupain-Cheng apartment. He couldn't help but feel like some sort of intruder. But this place always helped him feel so relaxed. Everything about this apartment just screamed that it was owned by a happy and content family. Every object in the room radiated love and it once again had Chat Noir longing for a life and family like the one Marinette had.

She was so lucky. Her parents were kind and loving. Marinette had grown up surrounded by love and had led a completely normal life. That's what made Chat Noir so confused as to what could have happened to Marinette to make her like this. He would have to remember to ask Nino the next time he visited.

Shaking off the melancholic feelings Marinette's apartment produced, Chat Noir made his way into the kitchen and easily spotted the soup in the microwave, just like Marinette said it would be. Chat Noir then briefly looked towards the front door of the apartment. He selfishly hoped her parents wouldn't come up to check on her, or even stay with her. He wanted Marinette all to himself, and he didn't want to be disturbed while he was looking after her. They probably couldn't look after her the way he could. They likely sometimes gave into her stubbornness, whereas Chat Noir wouldn't. He refused to let Marinette let herself get any worse.

Chat Noir wasn't exactly one hundred percent sure how to use a microwave. All of his life he had personal chefs, and after his father's arrest, Chat Noir had pretty much fired all the household staff, wanting to remain alone and isolated, too embarrassed to face anyone. He managed on his own with the occasional uncooked meal. It never bothered him. He never cared. But Chat Noir was pretty sure he'd seen enough on TV to at least try and figure it out.

Biting his lip, Chat pressed the button that seemed to make the most sense, and soon, random numbers lit up the screen. He stood and stared at it in confusion for a few seconds, not too sure what to do next. The microwave suddenly felt like an advanced piece of alien technology that would take a genius to figure out how it worked.

However, he knew that Marinette would be waiting and that she needed food. He couldn't let his patient down. Finally, Chat Noir decided to turn the knob at the bottom, and the random numbers on the screen began to change. Chat Noir then wanted to slap himself once he realised it was displaying a timer. He hummed in thought as he carried on altering it. Would ten minutes be enough for soup? That sounded about right. It was just a liquid that needed heating up.

Feeling confident, Chat Noir pressed start and watched as the microwave lit up and began turning the bowl of soup around inside. He began feeling rather proud of himself at having tried something new. Maybe he should try taking up cooking back home since he never learned while he was growing up.

Chat Noir instantly froze at that thought.

He was…he was thinking about doing stuff.

He _wanted_ to do things?

The long forgotten sensation felt completely foreign to him. What was going on? What was happening? It had been so long since Chat Noir had felt like taking up a hobby. When he hadn't been terrorising Paris, he just slept the day away or just sat on the couch and did nothing. He could never bring himself to do anything, like he had no purpose anymore and that everything would just be pointless.

"Chat?" Marinette's voice startled him slightly as he twisted around to see her peering down from the top of the small staircase that led to her bedroom. "What's going on? It doesn't take that long to heat some soup up."

"Hey, get back in bed!" Chat Noir ordered, frowning at her in frustration. "You're supposed to be resting and I'm supposed to be waiting on you."

However, Marinette didn't seem to be concentrating on him as her eyes zeroed in on something behind him before they widened in shock and fear.

"CHAT!" she screamed, pointing at whatever it was that was behind him.

Chat Noir smelled it before he could turn around and look. It instantly filled his nostrils, and he coughed slightly as the smoke began to pollute his lungs.

He twisted back around and gasped in horror at the sight of dark smoke seeping out through the gaps in the microwave door. What was going on? What had he done?

Yelping, he quickly dashed back over and yanked the microwave door open. More smoke poured out the instant the door was open, and Chat Noir quickly pulled out the bowl of soup, grunting slightly as he burned his hand even through his superhero suit, before panicking and switching the microwave off at the outlet.

Smoke still poured out from the microwave, but at least it seemed to be slowing down. Chat Noir breathed a huge sigh of relief before he turned back around to look at Marinette. He blinked in shock at the sight of her cowering on the stairs as her eyes remained locked on the microwave. Her knees shook beneath her, as if they were going to buckle underneath her weight at any second. She gripped onto the bannister of the stairs so tightly that Chat Noir could see the joints of her hand. Her eyes looked faraway, like she wasn't even seeing the room in front of her. All Chat Noir could do was stare at her in confusion before he ran towards her, terrified that she was about to faint or something.

"Marinette?" he called out to her, stopping just in front of her as she continued to stare at the microwave as if terrified it was about to explode.

Her breathing was beginning to come out in harsh pants, and her chest heaved up and down rapidly as a result. One hand gripped the wall while the other hand continued to grip onto the bannister like a lifeline. Her whole body continued to tremble, and her eyes looked haunted and distant.

"Marinette, what's wrong?" Chat Noir gasped out, beginning to panic.

He gazed down at her hand that was gripping the bannister, watching in horror as her knuckles began to turn white. It was a wonder the wood didn't snap under her grasp.

Seemingly not hearing Chat Noir's words, he watched in horror as Marinette began wildly panting, creating harsh sounds within her throat as she did so. The whole time, her eyes remained glued to the microwave as she desperately gasped for air.

Chat Noir instantly freaked out and ran up the last few steps towards her, his arms raised in mid-air slightly, as if ready to embrace her, but he wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do.

"Marinette?!" Chat Noir yelled in panic.

Should he call an ambulance? What was happening?!

He had seen this sort of thing happen with Marinette before, though he was never quite sure what was going on. She would seem to get these random episodes where she would just start acting weird and freaking out, though Chat Noir wasn't too sure what was causing them. He wished he knew so he could take away whatever was frightening her so much. Was that what was going on? Was she frightened? Was it…a panic attack?

Chat Noir's eyes widened at that thought. He had no idea how to calm someone down who was having a panic attack, but for Marinette's sake, he was going to try.

Still feeling panicked and unsure, Chat Noir slowly placed his hand down on Marinette's that still gripped onto the bannister tightly. He gently stroked the back of her hand with his fingers, and he gulped at how much Marinette was trembling beneath his touch.

"Princess, ssssh, it's okay, just breathe with me," Chat Noir tried to soothe her, taking exaggerated deep breaths, hoping that Marinette would match his rhythm.

Finally, Marinette's eyes seemed to snap back into reality before they looked wildly around the room before resting on Chat Noir's face. He gave her a small reassuring smile which morphed into an expression of relief when Marinette seemed to start trying to mimic his breathing. Her hand let go of the bannister and instead began gripping his own hand.

The feeling of her small hand in his own sent a tingling sensation up his spine, making him shiver, but Chat Noir ignored it. He rubbed soothing circles onto Marinette's hand with his thumb, and he sighed with relief when Marinette's breathing seemed to return back to normal.

Marinette looked visibly shaken up as her whole body continued to tremble. She looked around the room in confusion before she looked down awkwardly, seemingly lost for words. Her whole face flushed slightly as she seemed unable to look Chat Noir in the eye. She pulled her hand out of Chat Noir's, though he was too relieved to notice. She looked so frail. So scared. So lost. Just like him. It was like she was the only other person in the world who would understand what he was going through. And he understood her too. He understood how terrified and alone she must be feeling right now.

Letting out a shaky breath, Chat Noir leaned forward to pull her into his arms, however, Marinette quickly ducked under him, wrapping her arms around her chest as if she was trying to hold herself together, and shuffled her way into the kitchen. Once again, it seemed she was too ashamed to look at him, and Chat Noir glanced at the back of her head sadly. Her shoulders were raised slightly, and her entire posture had grown stiff. It hurt Chat Noir that she had ducked away from him, and he wanted nothing more than to ignore her silent gesture and just pull her into his arms and never let her go.

No.

He couldn't be selfish anymore.

He couldn't cling onto her and use her for himself like he had been doing these past couple of days. He couldn't put her through it. She was clearly still very uncomfortable around him. Chat Noir had nobody to blame but himself for that. The way he had treated her…it certainly couldn't have helped her fragile mental state.

Feelings of guilt began to consume him as he glanced down sadly. However, those feelings were quickly pushed aside for a newfound determination. He would help Marinette. He would get her to trust him. Then maybe he could figure out what had happened and help her overcome it. From now on, everything had to be about Marinette. He would atone for what he had done.

However, Chat Noir was soon brought out of his thoughts by the sound of Marinette taking a deep breath and wandering further into the kitchen towards the microwave. Chat Noir watched nervously, gulping when he took in the damage he had caused. He walked back into the kitchen awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head as Marinette turned to stare at him incredulously.

"Sorry." Chat Noir chuckled nervously as he stared at the damage with wide eyes. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid and careless. "I'll buy you a new microwave, I promise."

Marinette remained speechless as she turned back around to inspect the blackened soup that was beginning to harden on the surface. It looked like liquid from a swamp, and Marinette hesitantly picked up a spoon before poking it, watching with morbid fascination as bubbles floated to the surface and popped, spraying tiny droplets of black ooze onto the counter.

"H-how…?" Marinette gasped out.

"I have no idea what happened!" Chat Noir rushed to explain. "I'm so sorry!"

"I-it's okay?" Marinette sounded incredibly shocked and confused as she began to pour the black liquid into the sink before rinsing the bowl with water. "I just…I don't understand how you could do something like that?"

"Me neither." Chat Noir shrugged, just as stumped.

"Well…you must have left the soup in way longer than it needed to be."

Marinette placed the bowl down in the sink and turned the water off before turning back around to look at Chat Noir with a puzzled expression on her face. She folded her arms across her chest again, and Chat Noir began to grow worried about her being out of bed for so long, especially since she just seemed to have had a panic attack.

It seemed as if Marinette was just trying to pretend that the whole thing never happened. Chat Noir was content to play along for now, but he knew he would have to ask her about it sooner or later. It made him incredibly uneasy to know that she was going through all of that on her own.

"Hey, I only left it in for ten minutes," Chat Noir tried to defend himself.

"Ten minutes?!" Marinette shrieked before sighing and facepalming.

"Is that…not right?" Chat Noir trailed off in confusion.

Marinette dragged her hand down her face before she leaned back against the counter, and Chat Noir was shocked to see an amused glint in her eye. At last, her eyes finally seemed to be lighting up and were no longer the dull blocks of ice they had become. They seemed to be melting slightly as she continued to stare at Chat Noir with an amused perplexity.

As glad as he was that she seemed to be finding this whole situation amusing, Chat Noir still couldn't help but feel guilty for destroying her microwave and feel embarrassed over seemingly not even being able to simply heat up some soup. What on earth would she think of him? That he was childish probably. He could feel his cheeks heating up slightly as she continued to stare at him.

"Chat…have you ever cooked anything in your life?" Marinette chuckled.

Chat Noir looked to the side awkwardly, and his eyebrows furrowed slightly as his heart lurched in his chest. He hadn't. He had never needed to. His family had never really thought he should learn since they were so rich. He had briefly learned a few baking skills from when Marinette's father had visited the school, but that was about it.

The painful memories washed over him, and Chat clenched his hands into fists as he once again tried to cling onto the edge of that cliff. Marinette still had hold of him, but she had yet to help pull him away from the dangerous abyss. She simply stood there on the edge, looking down at him with a blank expression as he clung onto her hand and silently begged her with his eyes.

Chat Noir quickly shook his head to snap himself out of it.

"No," he admitted awkwardly at last.

He turned back to look at Marinette, unable to hide the sad expression on his face, despite his best efforts. Upon seeing his facial expression, all traces of amusement disappeared from Marinette's face and she gazed back at him sympathetically, her eyebrows lowering into an apologetic, glum expression. Her mouth opened a few times as if she wanted to say something before she quickly closed it again. However, Chat Noir just wanted nothing more than to move on from the subject. He couldn't think of his family and wallow in self-pity right now; not when Marinette needed him.

"You still need to eat though." Chat Noir frowned at her, daring her to object.

Marinette rolled her eyes. "Fine, but toast is probably the only thing I could manage."

Chat Noir smiled. "Toast it is then. Hey, wait just a sec!" he quickly added as Marinette turned around and began to prepare everything.

He easily picked Marinette up from under her arms and twirled them both around so he was standing between her and the kitchen counter. Marinette looked around in confusion before glaring at him and quickly extracted herself from his hold on her.

"You're not lifting a finger, get back to bed." He pointed towards the stairs.

Marinette raised an eyebrow at him. "You sure you can manage the toaster?"

Chat Noir rolled his eyes before smirking cockily. "I know how to use a toaster. I'm not _that_ dense."

"Silly kitty." Marinette shook her head before walking back over to the stairs.

Chat Noir gasped and froze at her words.

Those words…the very words that _she_ used to use… _Ladybug._

They flowed past her lips just like Ladybug. The playful tone, the soft voice. It echoed around in his mind, and all Chat Noir could do was watch Marinette's retreating form as she climbed back up the stairs and into her room. His heart began to squeeze and contract painfully in his chest, as if the organ might suddenly burst into a bloody mess. It sounded so much like her, it was if Marinette was trying to mock him. Trying to taunt him with the reminders of the love of his life. The way Marinette had said those words felt so natural…as if she _was_ Ladybug.

No! Chat Noir shook his head. Marinette wasn't Ladybug; he needed to stop projecting. It was all in his head. Ladybug was… _gone._ Gone forever. It had just been a coincidence. People called him 'kitty' all the time, it wasn't a nickname that only Ladybug used. Yeah. That was all it was. Just a cruel, horrible coincidence. Because the universe was always trying to torture him.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Chat Noir turned back to making Marinette some food at long last. The words continued to echo around in his mind as he stared at his own reflection in the grey, metallic toaster. _Just a coincidence, just a coincidence,_ he kept repeating to himself, _a cruel and horrible coincidence._

Of all the words she could have chosen, it had to be those ones.

 _Ladybug was gone._

Chat Noir's hands twitched at that thought as a raw energy pulsated through him. He needed to let loose. He needed to _destroy._ It felt like the very fabric of his mind was about to snap. It felt like everything inside him was building up, like a volcano ready to erupt. Sooner or later, the lava would explode free, leaving nothing but devastation and destruction. He hadn't let himself loose and destroyed anything for a while now. He'd never gone more than a day, and every time, this was the result. It all just built up and built up.

No! Marinette needed him. He wasn't going to let his insane urges get the better of him.

Chat Noir took a deep breath and tried to force his hands to stay still as he began buttering the toast. He bit his lip, and his eyebrows furrowed deeply as he could feel sweat dripping down the side of his face. It was like the whole of his body was vibrating, but Chat Noir forced himself to ignore it. He could feel his body heating up like he had just been standing under the red hot desert sun.

Gasping and dropping the knife onto the counter, Chat Noir shuffled over to the sink before running some water, cupping his hands under it and splashing it over his face. It helped somewhat, but not completely. If he could just get back to Marinette to distract himself, surely he would be fine again. Everything was fine, he was probably just tired and exhausted. He hadn't exactly been getting much sleep since…well…since everything that had happened.

Once again forcing himself to ignore the strange feeling vibrating within him, Chat Noir picked up the plate full of toast and headed back upstairs. Just as his head popped back up into Marinette's room, he instantly caught sight of her sat in the middle of her bed.

He frowned and froze as she didn't seem to notice him enter, and he watched in confusion as she tugged the sleeve of her sweatshirt back and poked at something on her arm. Chat Noir squinted, but all he could see was what looked like a discoloured bit of skin. Or maybe something was stuck to her arm? Whatever it was, it was darker than the skin of her hand.

Still watching her curiously, Chat Noir climbed back up into the room, and this time, Marinette did notice his presence. She seemed startled as she gasped and quickly pulled the sleeve of her sweatshirt back down, which only served to intensify Chat Noir's curiosity over what she was doing. Her eyes were wide and her face grew even paler before she looked away awkwardly, folding her arms across her lap as if she was trying to pretend that nothing was wrong.

Never mind curious, Chat Noir was now officially suspicious.

"What were you doing?" Chat Noir asked as he narrowed his eyes slightly at her, stopping at the bottom of the ladder that lead up to her bed.

"Nothing?" Marinette responded, innocently blinking at him, trying to look confused.

It made her look pretty cute actually. Damn this girl was going to be the death of him. However, he quickly shook his head and maintained his suspicious expression.

"There was something on your arm," Chat pointed out, shifting the plate so that he was now holding it with one hand.

"No there isn't."

Was it Chat Noir's imagination, or did Marinette sound incredibly nervous all of a sudden? He could definitely tell that she was hiding something. But what? What could possibly be on her arm that she felt the need to hide?

Marinette sure was a strange creature sometimes. But that only made her all the more endearing in his eyes. However, her attitude right now was making him nervous. He didn't like how uncomfortable and shifty she suddenly looked. It didn't sit right with him, and his gut instinct was screaming at him that something was very wrong.

"Let me see then," Chat Noir demanded flatly, challenging her.

Marinette glared down at him. "No."

"If it's nothing then you won't mind me looking." He reached up for her arm before his frown deepened as Marinette snatched it away.

"It really is nothing," she insisted, glaring at him as she cradled her arm against her chest, "please just drop it."

Chat Noir regarded her doubtfully for a moment before he sighed and decided to let the subject drop for now. He didn't want to push her too much – she was ill after all. But that didn't mean he was going to completely give up on the subject. Was she hiding something up there? What could she possibly hide on her arm? It wasn't making any sense. But there was definitely something there; Chat Noir had been able to catch a glimpse of it. Though what it was, he couldn't tell. And whatever it was, the mention of it sure seemed to make Marinette nervous for some reason.

Brushing it to the side for now, Chat Noir climbed up the ladder and sat himself down next to Marinette on her bed. She still glared at him slightly and kept her arms close to her chest before watching as Chat Noir handed her the plate full of toast. She stared at the plate with wide eyes before looking back up at Chat in alarm.

"Chat, I can't eat all this!" Marinette gasped out.

"Well, at least try to eat some of it," Chat Noir begged, thrusting the plate further toward her.

Marinette then frowned at him slightly. "Maybe you should share it with me? I bet you haven't eaten anything since what I made for you yesterday."

Chat Noir didn't say anything.

"Aha! I knew it!" Marinette shot him an accusatory glare.

Chat Noir sighed in defeat. "Fine, if I promise to eat some of this, do you promise to eat some as well?"

Marinette then smiled slightly at him, though it looked slightly strained as she drew a cross pattern across her chest before holding her hand up. Chat Noir smirked back at her before easily pushing Marinette further up her bed so he could sit down next to her, to which she shot him a playful glare in response.

Marinette then looked down at the food and sighed, slowly picking up a slice and putting it against her lips. Chat Noir watched her intently, wanting to make sure that she didn't try to hide it or something. Looking disgusted, Marinette then slowly nibbled on the corner of it before biting off a small mouthful and chewed slowly.

Satisfied, Chat Noir also picked up a slice and began slowly eating, not wanting to unsettle his own stomach any further. Marinette finally forced herself to swallow and groaned in response, clutching at her stomach. She leaned back into her pillows so she was half sitting up, half lying down, and her skin seemed to grow even paler. Chat Noir hovered the plate under her chin, and Marinette shook her head vigorously in response.

"Come one, princess, you've got to try and eat a little bit more than that," Chat Noir urged as gently as he could.

Marinette stubbornly shook her head again.

"I feel sick," she complained. "I knew this would be a bad idea."

Chat Noir sighed as he watched Marinette curl up into her pillows by his side. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut as she appeared to be trying to curl into the smallest ball possible. Growling in defeat, Chat Noir twisted around slightly so that he could place the plate onto one of the small shelves next to her bed. He turned back around to glare down at her small, frail form.

"Fine, but you're gonna try and eat something again later."

"Yes, nurse Noir," Marinette whispered sleepily, and Chat Noir's face softened as he watched Marinette's face completely relax.

She curled up even tighter in the bed next to him. Her fingers uncurled themselves and her whole body began to grow limp. Soon, her heavy breathing filled the room, and Chat Noir blinked down at her, wanting to slap himself for not forcing her to get some sleep sooner; she clearly needed it.

In awe, he couldn't help but just simply sit there and stare at her for a few minutes. Her soft breathing was the only sound that filled the room. That, and the sound of Chat Noir's rapid heartbeat. She looked even prettier when she was asleep. It was the only time that Chat Noir ever saw her face when it was completely relaxed and devoid of any pain, misery or anger.

It was enchanting to watch, just like it had been all those nights ago. Chat Noir longed to stroke her delicate cheeks and savour this peaceful moment with her. If only she could feel this peace all the time. He would find a way to make it so.

However, Chat Noir's eyes couldn't help but trail back down to her arm that lay limp next to her head. He titled his head slightly, using his heightened hearing to listen to her breathing and her heartbeat. They both sounded so calm and slow, indicating that she was deeply asleep. Should he do something like this? Was it the right thing to do? Marinette would kill him, but he needed to know. The concern and curiosity was eating away at him.

Cautiously, Chat Noir reached down and gently grabbed hold of Marinette's wrist, pulling it up slightly so that he could see better. Marinette didn't even stir. Holding his breath, Chat Noir gripped the end of the sleeve of her shirt between two of his claws and began to slowly pull the fabric back, nervous and worried about what he might find.

However, he soon gasped as Marinette yanked her arm back out of his hand. Chat Noir's wide eyes instantly flickered back to Marinette, who, much to his relief, seemed to still be asleep. He sighed with relief before he soon began worrying again as she began to fidget in her sleep. Her face scrunched up into a pained expression, and she shook her head in her sleep, groaning and gasping for air.

All Chat Noir could do was watch, unsure of what was going on. Was she dreaming? Even worse, was she having a nightmare?

" _No…_ " Marinette whimpered in her sleep.

Chat Noir stared at her, shocked and unblinking.

" _Please, Master Fu…no more…_ "

Huh? What on earth was she talking about? Who was this Master Fu that she was mumbling about? Chat Noir frowned down at her in confusion before he assumed that she was just having a nightmare. Marinette's mother's side of the family was Chinese, so maybe she was talking about something related to that? Deciding that was the most likely explanation, Chat Noir gently placed a hand on Marinette's shoulder and began shaking her slightly, hoping to wake her up.

"Marinette, princess, it's alright. It's just a dream," he soothed her as best as he could.

However, Chat Noir's heart dropped in his chest and his eyes widened in horror at her next words.

" _No…Chat Noir, please…how could you betray me?!_ "

* * *

 **Finding time to write this chapter was like pulling hens teeth, so I just hope that the quality of this chapter hasn't suffered as a result of my lack of time. This chapter took well over a week to write, it was such a pain. I hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter and please feel free to let me know what you thought in a review. It always helps me out a lot. See you guys soon!**

 **P.S. I planned this story before *spoiler alert* Adrien met Master Fu in the show, so in this story, he never met him nor knows of his existence.**

 **Also, guest reviewer who I can't reply to through PM, I'll quickly answer your question here. I honestly have no idea how to describe my writing process. I have quite an obsessive personality and I constantly need a Miraculous Ladybug fix, which is probably why I'm able to update so many stories regularly. I get an idea, plan it out and write obsessively to get it out of my system. Also, it helps that I have no life. Friends and family who never wanna hang out with me? Pfffft, who needs 'em? *sobs* And sleep is for the weak anyway. Writing is also a hobby and coping mechanism for me, not to mention I'd love to have my own original work published one day, so I see fanfiction as practice. Silliness aside, I hope that all made sense?**


	17. Running Away

**Welcome back everyone! I hope that you're all well. I really appreciate all of the support that you guys have been giving me lately. It really means a lot to me and thank you so much for understanding all of the stress that I've been under. Also, thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews that you guys have left. They always help me out a great deal and inspire me to keep writing. I still can't believe the overwhelming response this story has gotten, I really can't thank you all enough.**

* * *

 **Chapter 17: Running Away**

Lying on the cold wooden ground clutching at her stomach had become the norm for Marinette lately. She wasn't sure how long she had been there. Each second passed by at an excruciatingly slow pace as her insides churned, and her body ached all over like she had just been run over by a large truck. Soaking herself in the herbal water she didn't mind as much. But swallowing every and any potion that Master Fu could force down her throat was the worst part. Sometimes it was like drinking acid. Some of them would have the foulest taste where even the smell would cause her to puke.

Her stomach wobbled again, and Marinette wrapped her arms tighter around herself, curling into the smallest ball possible, wishing that she could just disappear right now. Her whole body felt like a hollow shell. There was a vast empty space in her chest right where her heart had been.

Chat Noir had torn it out that night.

Marinette wasn't sure how long it had been, but everything still felt very fresh as if it had all happened merely moments ago. When she had passed out that night, she was so sure that she had died. So it was incredibly confusing to her when she woke up at Master Fu's.

For a brief, heavenly moment, she had been relieved. Because she was so sure that the whole, terrible ordeal had been nothing more than a horrendous nightmare. Chat Noir would never betray her. Marinette still had a chance to defeat Hawkmoth and save Paris.

That was when the agonising pain hit her.

Her skin, blistered and burned to a crisp, rendered it impossible for her to move. While unconscious, Master Fu must have wrapped almost the entirety of her body in layers of bandages that had been coated with a substance that made her skin burn even more, as if acid had been poured all over her. Master Fu had rushed over to her with a glum expression, but Marinette refused to accept it. It all had to have been just one bad dream.

There was no way any of that could have happened.

Marinette cringed at the memories and tried to force them out of her mind as tears streamed down her cheeks. She twitched and moaned as her insides continued to churn around, like someone had reached inside her abdomen and was twisting everything around inside her. Nothing insider her was where it should have been. Everything was wrong. Everything about her felt so out of place. It was almost like Marinette was in the wrong universe. A universe where the worst case scenario had come to pass. Marinette thought that Ladybug was supposed to be lucky? So why had everything gone so wrong?

The sound of glass bottles clattering together made Marinette jump slightly, but she remained facing away from the direction Master Fu was working in. Instead, she stared down at her arms that were pulled tightly against her chest, still wrapped in fresh, clean bandages that stung her skin. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. She should have died that night. That would have been better than enduring all of this torment.

Marinette had been ready to accept her fate. It was the only just punishment for letting Chat Noir be consumed by the dark side, for failing to talk to him about what was bugging him, for allowing Hawkmoth to easily manipulate and defeat her.

But maybe this was her punishment instead? A life of never ending pain. To never know true happiness again. To live with the consequences of everything that had happened.

However, Marinette's thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of Master Fu clearing his throat along with his light footsteps against the wooden floor, quickly approaching her.

Marinette squeezed her eyes tightly shut, knowing what was about to come next. Why did Master Fu have to find her and help her? He should have left her to die that night. He should be disgusted with her over what had happened.

But he wasn't.

That killed Marinette even more; the fact that he was so understanding and kind. He had no reason to be. She had allowed Chat Noir to be corrupted by evil, she had allowed Hawkmoth to win, and… _Tikki_ …

Marinette choked and whimpered, flinching slightly as Master Fu placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. He lowered a small blue bottle in front of her face, and Marinette cringed away even more, sealing her lips tightly and shaking her head. The smell soon reached her nose, and Marinette gagged, her stomach rumbling painfully as it knew what was about to happen.

Master Fu sighed. "Marinette, please, you need to drink it to regain your strength."

Marinette shook her head again.

"Do you wish to make a recovery? It is absolutely paramount that we retrieve the butterfly and the cat miraculous," Master Fu reminded her patiently, however, there was a strong edge of seriousness in his tone that made Marinette shudder.

"Is…is Tikki…?" Marinette couldn't help but ask.

Master Fu sighed again. "I'm afraid there's still no sign."

Marinette whimpered before a small sob escaped her mouth. She curled further in on herself, shaking as she tried to hold back even more sobs. It had been too long. Too long. There was still no sign of Tikki improving. Marinette was quickly losing hope. She felt so guilty for feeling this way; she should have more faith in her beloved kwami.

But what was she supposed to think when nothing was happening?

This was all Marinette's fault…she was the reason Tikki was…was…Marinette couldn't bring herself to think of such finalising words. It was too much. She wasn't ready to face it. Would she ever be ready to face it?

Master Fu still seemed confident. Kwamis were supposed to be immortal after all. But Marinette wouldn't put it past herself and her luck to have disproven that theory. How was she going to live with herself knowing that she the reason Tikki was…?

"You should have just left me to die," Marinette gasped out, feeling her throat closing in on itself.

"Such negative thoughts are something you can't afford right now, Marinette," Master Fu sighed out, "as someone who tries to be a good person yourself, you very much know why I saved you."

"Why am I alive?" Marinette questioned, raising her head slightly to finally look at Master Fu, who was gazing down at her worryingly, "that fall…the fire…the smoke…it all should have killed me."

Marinette watched as apprehension danced behind his eyes while he stared down at her, his worried expression morphing into one of great sadness. He suddenly seemed unable to look her in the eye which had Marinette frowning in confusion.

He was hiding something from her.

But what? And why?

Marinette was about to ask when Master Fu seemed to sense this and quickly interrupted her.

"You're alive, and to receive the gift of life is the greatest luck of all."

Taken aback by his words and behaviour, Marinette didn't have time to protest and question him further before he held the blue bottle in front of her face again. Marinette grimaced and tried to shuffle away, but soon winced in pain and remained still. The smell drifted up Marinette's nose again, engulfing her senses and making her eyes water. She held her breath, unable to stand it any longer.

"Drink," Master Fu ordered gently.

Knowing there was no getting out of this, Marinette weakly took the bottle out of Master Fu's hands, though he didn't take his eyes off of her, used to Marinette's tricks that she used to try and get out of taking her medicine.

Sighing and bracing herself for what was about to come, Marinette squeezed her eyes tightly shut and slowly brought the bottle towards her lips. She tried her best to not breathe in through her nose so that she wouldn't smell the disgusting liquid before it entered her mouth. The glass felt warm against her lips, until finally, the thick liquid inside entered her mouth.

It was incredibly warm and tasted as bitter and foul as ever. All the while, Master Fu's eyes remained locked onto her. Guzzling it down as quickly as she could, Marinette gasped loudly for air as she pulled the bottle away from her lips, her throat burning. She could practically feel the warm, thick liquid making its way down her oesophagus and towards her stomach which instantly began twisting and recoiling.

Trying her best to ignore the pain, Marinette wordlessly handed the now empty bottle back to Master Fu, who, with a pleased smile, bowed his head to her before making his way out of the room. He knew well at this point that Marinette liked to be left alone, especially after drinking Master Fu's foul medicine. Though Marinette couldn't deny that whatever Master Fu was forcing her to drink, it was making her recover quickly.

Marinette's stomach rumbled loudly, and she clutched at it, groaning in pain as she once again curled up into a foetal position, just wishing that this was all just a bad dream. She tugged at a loose end of her bandage, hoping to distract herself from the pain and sickness the medicine caused her. She could still taste the liquid in her mouth, as if it had left a fine coating inside it, leaving Marinette forever doomed to taste the nauseating potion.

However, Marinette gasped at the sound of the door behind her sliding open once again; she thought she was going to be left alone. Marinette whipped her head around to see what was going on, only to squeak in horror at the surreal sight of Master Fu sliding into the room without moving his legs at all. He smiled a deranged smile at her, holding a large potion tightly in his hand, his eyes glowing a bright green colour as he stared down at her.

Squealing in fear, Marinette tried her best to shuffle away, however, her movements were once again almost completely restricted by the bandages wrapped tightly around her skin, along with the pain moving around caused her. Her stomach quivered, rumbling and gurgling as Marinette could almost feel acid rising into her throat. She pressed her lips together, her body growing hotter and hotter as if she had just been placed into an oven. Sweat began to drip down her face, and her heart pounded fearfully at the sight of another bottle of medicine.

"No…" Marinette gasped out, terrified.

Master Fu chuckled darkly as he stalked towards her, his movements suddenly becoming incredibly graceful and cat-like. He effortlessly slid one foot in front of the other, smirking as his eyes continued to glow a strange, yet familiar green hue.

He said nothing as he continued slowly creep up on her, as if he was a dangerous predator, and Marinette was nothing more than helpless prey, ripe and ready for his taking.

"Please, Master Fu…no more…" Marinette begged, gagging at the thought of having to consume anymore of that horrible medicine.

Her stomach gurgled again, this time almost making Marinette retch forward, before she placed a hand over her mouth. Her entire stomach felt like it had turned to mush, and the gelatinous remains were now just sloshing around inside her.

"But don't you want to get better, my lady?"

That voice…

That wasn't Master Fu. It was the very voice that had haunted her dreams for so long now.

It sent her heart into a frenzy of fear. The way he spoke to her in a mocking tone…it was just like that night. Every inch of Marinette's skin began to tingle, as if thousands of spiders were crawling across her. Her stomach kept churning, and her skin stung.

Gasping, Marinette tried to force herself up to try and run away, but her knees immediately gave way underneath her, making her collapse back onto the wooden floor again.

Marinette gazed back up at Master Fu, whose body began to distort. He dropped the bottle that was in his hands, and Marinette watched as it smashed into hundreds of pieces on the floor. The sound echoed around the room and vibrated through Marinette's entire body. The contents of the bottle splashed out across the floor, the liquid staining the wooden panels bright red like spilled blood. It oozed towards where Marinette lay, and soon she was staring at her reflection as she gazed down into it.

 _Beep beep beep._

No!

Not the beeping!

Marinette cried out and placed her fingers in her ears, trying in vain to drown the sound out.

 _Beep beep beep._

It was like it was coming from inside her own head, but Marinette didn't dare open her eyes because she knew what she was see. She couldn't look. She couldn't see it again. It only served to remind her of what she had done. Her whole body began to shake at the thoughts, at the horrible memories. All the while, the beeping continued, only growing louder and louder the longer Marinette squeezed her eyes tightly closed. It became almost deafening, and soon Marinette couldn't take it any longer.

Slowly and fearfully, Marinette opened her eyes, gazing down at her reflection in the red liquid. Her superhero suit only existed in blotches across her body. Her mask was only half on her face while her exposed skin was covered in blisters and blood. Her earrings flashed and beeped on her ears continuously, causing Marinette to cry out.

She couldn't take it! She couldn't take the reminders of what she had done!

Master Fu appeared in the reflection as he took a few slow steps towards her. His reflection morphed and twisted into a blur before the colours and shapes began to settle again. Marinette froze in fear and watched as Master Fu's reflection morphed into that of Chat Noir. He glared at her through the reflection, looking completely disgusted with her.

Finally, Marinette looked up, and her heart leapt at the sight of her former partner standing before her. There was no kindness in his face, and no signs of his usual playfulness. Now there was nothing but evil, malice and hate in his eyes as he stared back at her, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked her up and down.

"Look at you. You're so pathetic," Chat Noir continued to mock her. "I don't know what I ever saw in you. You're so weak and such a pathetic excuse for a hero. You couldn't even save yourself, let alone Paris."

Marinette whimpered, the words hitting her like a slap across the face. But she knew they were true. The fact that they were coming from Chat Noir's mouth made them hurt even more. She _was_ pathetic. She _was_ weak. She had failed in her job as a hero and she had failed Chat Noir. She didn't know how she was going to live with herself.

But why had Chat Noir changed so much? How and why did he become the monster that now stood in front of her? Before he killed her and finished what he had set out to do, Marinette at least wanted to know the answer to that question.

He stalked towards her again, a smirk forming on his face as he did so, flexing his claws, ready to swipe at her. Marinette tried to back away slightly, but once again her broken body rendered her unable to do so. Her eyes widened, and her heart thudded painfully at the sight of one of her closest friends stalking towards her to kill her.

Why? Why was he doing this? He had been her best friend, her partner, and the one person she trusted more than anyone in the world. What had happened to him?

"No…" Marinette begged, "Chat Noir, please…how could you betray me?"

But Chat Noir ignored her pleas and her questions. He leapt forward, and Marinette barely had a chance to scream before he clawed at her stomach, easily piercing her flesh as if she was made of butter.

Her stomach rumbled, and pain erupted across her abdomen, forcing Marinette to lurch forward, gagging as her organ twisted itself into knots.

Her eyes snapped open, the brightness of her bedroom almost blinding her, but Marinette didn't care at that moment. Sweat dripped down her face as her whole body felt like it was on fire. Her stomach gurgled and twisted itself around inside her, and Marinette groaned before throwing herself out of bed, faster than the speed of light.

She darted down her ladder and ran towards her sink as fast as she could. Marinette retched and her throat burned as she vomited up the little contents of her stomach. She gasped for air as it would seem to stop for a second before Marinette would gag again and more would follow. Her throat and nose burned as she finally seemed to stop throwing up. However, Marinette kept her head bowed over the sink as she groaned. Her head pounded, and her whole body ached.

Two warm hands suddenly gripped her shoulders, and Marinette yelped and twisted her body around to scramble away from whoever had just touched her. Her eyes widened even more at the sight of Chat Noir stood behind her. He looked just as frightened as she felt, but it barely registered with her. All she could think about was the pain he had caused her, and that he was very likely here to kill her right now.

She needed to get away. He was going to kill her. _He was going to kill her._

Marinette shoved herself away from the sink and tried to make a run for it. However, she was prevented from doing so by strong hands grabbing hold of her arms and pinning her against Chat Noir's body. Marinette cried out in fear, thrashing around as she attempted to get away. He had found her. He was about to kill her.

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, ready and waiting for the fatal blow. However, Chat Noir's hands remained wrapped tightly around her as he kept her pinned against him. His grip was tight, but not enough to hurt her. Her heart raced, but her mind finally cleared. Memories of the day came flooding back to her. Chat Noir taking care of her, her falling asleep after he had forced her to try and eat something. She was back in her room. She was no longer with Master Fu, and years had passed since those awful days.

It had all just been another nightmare.

Finally, Marinette forced herself to open her eyes.

Chat Noir towered above her, his face a sickly shade of pale as he stared down at her with an odd expression on his face. He looked like he had seen a ghost and he didn't even appear to be blinking. It was like he had turned into a statue.

The look on his face made Marinette panic slightly. Was he okay? What was going on?

"Chat…?" Marinette gasped out as she finally fully got her bearings.

Chat Noir didn't response as he continued to stare at her.

"Chat, what's wrong?" Marinette asked, beginning to panic.

He finally blinked and let go of her arms, though the odd expression remained on his face as he backed away from her slightly, while Marinette remained frozen in place. He swallowed, and his mouth opened a few times as if he wanted to say something, however he quickly closed it and shook his head slightly.

Meanwhile, Marinette grew even more worried. Was something wrong? Chat Noir truly looked like he had seen some sort of ghost and was now in a state of shock. Marinette wasn't sure what to say to him as he didn't seem to be responding to anything else she had previously said. His whole body began shaking slightly, his skin now completely draining itself of all colour.

"Chat!" Marinette cried out, grabbing hold of his shoulders in panic.

Her touch seemed to help snap him out of it slightly, and his eyes finally refocused, flickering back up to stare at her. Marinette gulped as his shocked expression morphed into one of anger and suspicion. He had been so kind to her today that she had almost forgotten the insane psychopath that he had turned into. She had gotten too comfortable around him. He wasn't _her_ Chat Noir anymore – the kind, fun-loving boy from years gone by. He was different now. He was evil and twisted. And Marinette needed to make sure that she remembered that.

"You were talking in your sleep," Chat Noir finally growled out, and Marinette gasped, instantly letting go of his shoulders as if he had electrocuted her.

He glared at her with an intense fire behind his eyes that Marinette had never seen before. She shivered as memories of her dream invaded her mind, and that's when her heart stopped in her chest.

 _She had been talking in her sleep. Oh god…what had she said?_

Was this it? Had she been discovered? Was this the end?

She had been so stupid for letting Chat Noir stay and for falling asleep while he was around. She had no idea that she talked in her sleep, and she shouldn't have taken any chances. She knew that she had nightmares about the incident. She could have said and revealed anything! And now it looked like she had!

Her chest tightened and restricted her breathing as those thoughts ran through her mind faster than a bullet.

"Marinette…" Chat Noir began before taking a deep breath, "why you were talking about me betraying you?"

He watched her carefully, and Marinette tried her best to keep her facial expression as blank as possible. Was he testing her? Either way, Marinette would have to try her best to lie her way out of this. She hated doing it. Her life had been nothing but lies for the past few years. But her life had always depended on it, and her life _certainly_ depended on it right this second.

Surely if Chat Noir was that sure of the truth, then he would have killed her by now. The fact that he was questioning her must mean that he was unsure. Or maybe he was just drawing it out in a sick attempt to enjoy the moment, to enjoy Marinette's last moments of pain and desperation.

"I…" was all Marinette could squeak out.

"Were you trying to run away from me? Were you having a nightmare… _about me?_ "

"I…I…" Marinette's chest tightened up even more as her throat closed up.

Her head began to spin uncontrollably at the thought of being found out, at the thought that she was about to die at the hands of the one person she thought she could trust more than anyone. Chat Noir would finally finish the task he was supposed to accomplish all those years ago; Marinette had always known she was running on borrowed time.

"I'm waiting," Chat Noir growled at her.

"You…ummm…you betrayed me in my dream…by…all of a sudden…turning on me," Marinette gasped out.

It technically wasn't a lie, she was just leaving out the crucial details. Surely there was no way that he could tell she was Ladybug just from uttering that in her sleep. As far as Chat Noir or anyone else knew, Ladybug was dead. Chat Noir proved he was convinced of that fact by getting offended over Alya digging into the conspiracy theories that Ladybug had survived that night and was secretly in hiding.

Though Chat Noir looked alarmed, angry and confused, he didn't look murderous right now like she had seen him look a few times.

But still, the look in his eye was enough to make Marinette shiver in fear. He didn't quite look like he believed her, and that was enough to make the whole of Marinette's body go cold.

This was it. This was the end. Her borrowed time was up. This was the moment she was going to die.

Marinette's vision swirled and blurred into a variety of bright colours, like ink on wet paper. Her head spun around even faster, and her throat completely closed up, preventing her from speaking and breathing. Her knees felt like jelly, wobbling as if the bones inside of her legs had completely vanished, until finally, they gave way underneath her.

Marinette barely had the chance to brace herself for impacting the floor, however, her heart lurched in her chest once she realised she hadn't.

Instead, warm arms were wrapped tightly around her, pinning her against a soft warm body. Her vision began to clear enough for her to see Chat Noir staring down at her in panic. He looked like he was shouting something at her, but Marinette couldn't hear it as her ears felt clogged up as they muffled any sound that reached them. It was like she was floating underwater. Everything felt like it was in slow motion as she couldn't breathe.

Chat Noir placed a hand on her cheek and stroked it gently with his thumb, clinging onto her tightly as if he was terrified that she was about to float away.

Didn't he want to kill her? Hadn't he just found out her dark secret?

"Marinette!"

Her ears finally cleared enough for her to hear him yelling her name down at her in panic. Marinette blinked and shook her head slightly, trying to dispel the feelings of intense fear that had washed over her. Chat Noir embraced her tighter, and looked slightly relieved as he watched Marinette's eyes refocus again.

He sighed before closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead against her own.

"You're gonna give me a heart attack one day, princess," he gasped out before pulling away to look down at her properly again.

"I…I thought you were…gonna…kill me," Marinette muttered in a daze.

She still didn't quite feel like she was in the realm of reality as her heart continued to race and her mind spun in circles. She had barely even registered what she had just said. All she knew was that she felt weak and terrified. Her secret could be about to be blown. She could be about to die. At those thoughts, all her body wanted to do was shut down and never have to face any of it.

Chat Noir looked horrified as he stared down at her. "How could you even think such a thing?!"

"Y-you were angry with me."

"Only because you don't trust me enough to not hurt you to a point where you have nightmares about me," Chat Noir explained desperately. "The thought of you having nightmares about me pains me more than you could ever imagine. The thought that you don't trust me…that you fear me..."

"Can you blame me?" Marinette mumbled sadly, starting to feel more alert, relieved that everything seemed to be fine.

Well, as fine as it could be anyway.

Fine as in, Chat Noir hadn't found out her secret and wasn't going to kill her just yet.

But Marinette knew the clock that counted her borrowed time was ticking away, forever reminding her that the more involved she got with Chat Noir, the more difficult the secret was going to be to keep. She really needed to step up her game in getting information out of him about what had happened that night. Then she could finally move on with her life and stay away from Chat Noir; then he would never be able to find out the truth.

However, the thought of never seeing Chat Noir again tore her broken heart into even more pieces. The pain was like a sudden stab to the chest. Her heart leapt out and yearned for him to stay by her side forever. Marinette quickly shook her head at those thoughts. She was probably just mourning and yearning for the old Chat Noir again. But Chat Noir had betrayed her. He was not the good person and hero he once was. Once again, Marinette really needed to make sure that she remembered that.

"No, I don't," Chat Noir whispered, her words causing a look of intense anguish and guilt to appear on his face.

"So…that's what you were angry about?" Marinette carefully asked, desperate for peace of mind.

"Yes. I'm so sorry, princess." He hung his head.

Marinette found herself relaxing slightly in his arms before gasping as Chat Noir pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair, and causing Marinette to freeze in place. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to respond. It reminded Marinette of that time they had been fighting Animan, and she had jumped into the dinosaur's mouth. Chat Noir had hugged her so tightly afterwards. Marinette could feel tears welling up in her eyes at the memory.

It was like she had the old Chat Noir back, and before she could stop herself, she found herself embracing him back just as tightly. Her head was screaming at her to stop, that this was dangerous, but she couldn't resist her heart. She clung to him as tightly as possible, hoping to maybe hold the old Chat Noir in place and prevent the new, deranged one from returning. Her heart did somersaults in her chest, and her body relaxed in contentment. She weaved her fingers through his thick, blond hair, breathing in his scent and savouring this old, familiar moment.

It was like she had gone back in time. Back to when everything felt normal. When she saw the world through rose tinted glasses. He felt just exactly as he used to. He smelled exactly like he used to. For a brief moment, Marinette wondered if these past few years had all been one long nightmare that she had now woken up from. He felt so warm and soft under her touch. For once, she had something – someone – comforting to cling onto. Someone who understood.

However, like always, everything came crashing back down again.

"Marinette, I could never, ever betray you," Chat Noir vowed fiercely, sending Marinette hurtling back down to reality.

His words popped the temporary bubble she had built around herself in that moment. It shattered around her like the fragile glass it had been made out of.

Those words.

How could he say those words when he had done just that?

Marinette couldn't trust him. She knew she would never be able to trust such words.

"Is that what you told Ladybug?" Marinette blurted out angrily without thinking.

Chat Noir abruptly let her go and pulled away, staring down at her in shock and disgust.

"Marinette…" Chat Noir warned, his whole body beginning to shake as his expression grew dark.

However, Marinette could feel her anger and betrayal bubbling up inside her. It hadn't gone away. It could never go away. What he had done was permanently etched into her skin for all eternity. There was no recovering from a betrayal like that. Marinette could never trust him again. He had broken her beyond repair and now all of a sudden he wanted to help her? Chat Noir had a lot of nerve!

"Your words are empty…meaningless!" Marinette growled out, "Ladybug paid the price for that!"

"You don't know anything!" Chat Noir screamed at her. "It's not what everybody thinks! I…I didn't…"

Marinette froze, her eyes narrowing slightly. "What are you talking about?"

"You'd hate me! You'd all hate me even more if you knew –" Chat Noir cut himself off, running his hands through his hair as his eyes widened and he began panting hysterically.

"Knew? Knew what?" Marinette demanded desperately.

What was he talking about?

She knew it. She knew that there had to be more to his betrayal than met the eye. He was hiding something from her. He had been hiding something from everyone. His behaviour had never added up. But now…now Marinette was finally starting to get the first signs that she had been right. She knew there was no possible way that Chat Noir would just decide to turn to the dark side on a whim.

Chat Noir didn't say anything as he stared down at the floor, still clutching at his hair and panting wildly.

"You're hiding something, aren't you?" Marinette asked slowly.

"Chat?" she called his name worriedly when he didn't respond.

"NO!" Chat Noir shouted, making Marinette jump.

She then watched as Chat Noir darted away from her and began scrambling towards the entrance of her balcony.

"No, Chat, wait!" Marinette begged desperately, but it was too late.

The balcony door slammed shut behind him, leaving Marinette all alone with the thoughts of what had just happened.

What had Chat Noir been talking about?

She had almost gotten some answers out of him, but he immediately shut himself off again, running away. But it did confirm to Marinette that there was more to the situation than Chat Noir simply just betraying her.

Marinette found herself shaking at those thoughts. It brought everything back. Memories of what happened that night charged towards the forefront of mind, screaming and smashing everything in its path. Her fragile mind cracked a little more at the thought of there being one huge conspiracy that Marinette had been missing.

Had she just been the pawn in all of this the whole time? Even if there was a reason, why would Chat Noir allow himself to be swayed by said reason and betray his partner?

It was all becoming too much as the pain washed over her like a tsunami. Marinette drowned in the dark waters, and the debris slammed against her, pulling her further under and entangling her in her thoughts. She thrashed about, trying to get free, but the more she thrashed around, the tighter they gripped onto her, just like a boa constrictor, wrapping around her in the middle of a thick jungle where no one could hear her screams or her cries for help.

She was all alone.

Alone in the middle of the vast wilderness, cursed to live with these thoughts for the rest of her life. There was no getting peace from this. Despite how much she didn't want to believe it, Chat Noir was still the same person who had destroyed her all those years ago.

What on earth was she doing? How could she even begin to kid herself that she could let him back into her life in any way, even if it was to get information out of him and steal his miraculous? All it did was tear open old wounds. Old wounds that were never given the chance to heal, leaving Marinette eternally bleeding. Marinette didn't know how much more blood she would be able to lose.

She was tired. Tired of trying. Tired of being reminded every minute of every day of what she had done. Of what Chat Noir had done to her.

The realisation that she had come so close to being discovered today suddenly hit her. Marinette gasped like the air had just been knocked out of her. She doubled over as her chest constricted and her stomach churned. Her body grew cold again. She had been so close to death yet again. Marinette didn't know how much more of this she could take. She was walking on egg shells now. One wrong move and the fragile ground beneath her would shatter.

That had very nearly happened today.

Her mind spun around and around with panic. Her breathing turned into desperate pants for air. That was way too close for comfort. No one could know. No one could ever know what had happened that night. No one could never know what she had done.

From now on she would need to be _very_ careful. She had to keep running away from her life as Ladybug.

Her life depended on it.

* * *

 **Oh dear. Seems like it's always one step forward, three steps back with these guys. But that's the unfortunate reality of living with trauma. Chat Noir is still none the wiser for the most part. Is he dense? Yeah, but the poor guy is still convinced Ladybug is dead. It's difficult to change a convinced mind. I hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter and feel free to let me know what you guys think in a review. Reviews really help keep me writing and I always really appreciate your support. It's so exciting to see you guys questioning everything that's going on. I love reading your theories on what could possibly happen next or possible plot twists that might happen. Keep them coming! I love to read them! I'm super excited for the next chapter, in fact for the rest of the story as a whole. Fluff and angst for all. Question everything guys. I hope that you all have a lovely week and I'll see you all again soon.**


	18. Digging For Information

**Hello again! I apologise for the extra long wait for this chapter. I was focusing on trying to get this other fanfiction of mine finished, which I finally managed to do. This means I can hopefully devote more time to this story and update a bit more often, so no more nearly month long waits for the next chapter. Thank you so much for the awesome reviews on the last chapter guys! I really appreciate all of your feedback. Also, thank you to those who have followed this story and added it to their favourites. This story has now hit over 300 favourites, yippee! I didn't even think such a thing was possible! Thank you!**

* * *

 **Chapter 18: Digging For Information**

Adrien wasn't sure how long it had been since he had last seen Marinette. A day. Two days. A week. He had no concept of time when he was locked away in his family's mansion where it had all happened. It was like the house was cursed. Everything that could possibly go wrong in his life had happened here. Adrien couldn't bear to live here, yet at the same time, he couldn't bear the idea of leaving. He almost felt closer to _her_ while he was here. Closer to the love of his life. But also closer to his mother. Two of the most important people in his life who he had betrayed. This house was his own personal hell. He stayed here to torture himself.

And he definitely deserved to be tortured after what he had nearly let slip to Marinette.

He had been so stupid. Marinette was a smart girl and now she knew that something was going on and that he was hiding something. So that's why he had been doing his best to stay away. He couldn't risk anyone figuring out the truth of what really happened that night. Then people would hate him even more than they already did. They would see him for what he really was: a selfish monster. Him having to live with what he had done was surely punishment enough. If Marinette figured it out, she would be horrified by him, disgusted by him. He couldn't bear the thought of seeing that look on her face as she stared at him, watching as her eyes would widen with realisation, staring at him with nothing but distain.

He had come so far with her. She had seemed to be making the first steps towards being better. She had been more talkative and some of her normal feistiness was returning, not the cynical type that she had seemed to have developed. He had managed to make sure she was well looked after while she was ill. She was more comfortable around him, no longer seeming to be too afraid of him or angry with him – though he had no idea why she would be angry with him. Maybe it was just down to the internal conflict she seemed to be experiencing. She was ill, that much Adrien could determine. Something had happened to her, making her behave the way Adrien often felt. He understood the pain she was experiencing, though Adrien was sure that it was nothing compared to what he was experiencing. But still, he had wanted to be there for her. Marinette was worth fixing; she was worth saving. Adrien was not.

But now, Adrien knew it was for the best that he stayed away. He couldn't have her finding out the truth. As much as it tortured him. He had become way too involved with Marinette for his own good – for her own good. What had he been thinking? Getting close to her like that was way too dangerous. If anyone found out…if Marinette got hurt…he would never be able to live with himself. He would never be able to live with himself if Marinette found out the truth…

He had to protect her. He had to protect her from everything.

Marinette was the only thing that mattered to him anymore, though he had no idea why. But at the moment, Adrien didn't care about why he had grown so obsessed with Marinette. All he knew was that she made him feel better. She calmed his destructive urges, she understood him, she was his opportunity to do something good for the first time in a while. Marinette was the only person who was worth it. She was the one pure thing in his life.

But he couldn't be with her now.

Not when she had almost found out the truth. Not when it placed her in danger.

Adrien really needed to try and get her out of his mind, but he knew that was now impossible. She had firmly planted herself at the forefront of his mind and there was no removing her. Every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was her face. His whole body felt like it was reaching out and yearning for her.

But no. He couldn't go back.

Adrien let out another sigh as he fidgeted around on the couch again, trying to find a more comfortable position, while also hoping that his movements might help erase Marinette from his mind. But no matter how many times he tried, it didn't work. The more time went by, the more his body ached to see her again. He was becoming increasingly twitchy and agitated the longer he went without checking up on her. Was she okay? Was she safe?

No!

That was none of his business. He had already interfered in her life too much. That interference had nearly cost him everything. He had nearly let everything slip. Why should he care about Marinette anyway? The only person he had ever felt this way about before was…was… _Ladybug._ So why did he feel this way about Marinette? Why was her wellbeing his concern? She was a very old friend of his, but if that was the reason, then why didn't he feel this way about Nino or Alya? There was something about Marinette that called to him and it sent shockwaves of confusing feelings vibrating throughout his entire body.

This was insane. He was letting Marinette get to him too much. He should have just walked away from her that night. Adrien should have just dealt with that criminal and then left, not bothering to engage Marinette in conversation in any way. But it was her voice that had made him freeze in place. As soon as he heard her voice, that was when he had found himself infatuated. She sounded so much like _her._ Like Ladybug. It had been so strange. But Adrien knew that Marinette wasn't Ladybug. She wasn't anything like Ladybug at all. Was…was Adrien just projecting his feelings for Ladybug onto Marinette?

No. He couldn't be. He didn't love Marinette. Ladybug was his soulmate. He could never love anybody ever again. She had been the only woman for him. Marinette had just been a distraction for him and nothing more. A stupid little project. He thought he could make her better to at least atone for some of the heinous acts he had committed. But no. It was too risky.

Adrien let out another sigh, pulling at his hair, hoping in vain that it would somehow yank the thoughts out of his mind in the process. No such luck though. Instead, all Adrien accomplished was making his head feel incredibly sore. His whole body felt weak and drained. His cold, dead heart contracted painfully in his chest, though Adrien had no idea why.

"If you sigh one more time, I swear I'm gonna shove this cheese so far up your –"

"Shut up, Plagg," Adrien hissed, interrupting his kwami.

"Touchy, touchy," Plagg disparaged, "all of this because lover girl isn't around; this is Ladybug all over again."

Adrien's eye twitched as he suddenly sat bolt upright to glare at Plagg who was sat on the coffee table, chewing his way through a giant piece of camembert. Plagg knew what he had done, Adrien could tell, only it seemed like his kwami didn't care anymore. He knew better than to mention her name around Adrien. Why was Plagg being like this all of a sudden? This whole time, he had wordlessly followed Adrien's will, never once trying to push his buttons. What had changed? Like Adrien, Plagg just seemed to be getting angrier and angrier and less able to control his temper.

"I told you not to mention her name!" Adrien yelled, reaching forward to knock the empty cups and dirty dishes off the coffee table, narrowly missing Plagg in the process. The cutlery and crockery tumbled to the floor, some of the plates smashing as they did so, creating a loud crashing noise that echoed around the entire room. Plagg stared at the damage with wide eyes before narrowing them and turning his head back around to look at his holder.

Adrien stared down at the table, his eyes unfocused and unseeing as he panted in anger, his chest heaving up and down as he did so. His teeth were clenched and his entire form was shaking. His chest contracted painfully as images of her face began to dance across his mind, taunting him, mocking him. Why did Plagg have to mention her name? Why did people have to push his buttons like this? Why couldn't he just forget everything? Why did he have to do what he had done?

Collapsing to his knees on the floor, Adrien buried his head in his hands, trying to fight back the tears and violent sobs that were threatening to burst free. Everything hurt. Everything ached. He was so tired. Tired of existing. Tired of just trying to survive from one day to another. Whoever came up with the lie that time healed all wounds, Adrien wanted to scratch their face off. They had lied. Time did not heal all wounds. Adrien's never got any better. In fact, the more time that seemed to pass, the worst they seemed to get. No matter how many times Adrien tried to bandage up the gaping hole in his chest and keep moving forward as if nothing had happened, the bigger the hole grew before it tore the bandage off, leaving his wound open to the elements once again.

"I'm sorry," Plagg mumbled, causing Adrien to freeze.

Adrien looked up at his black cat kwami who was still sat on the coffee table, his back now facing towards him as his ears drooped forward slightly. Adrien couldn't see his face, but he knew that his kwami was feeling remorseful over what had just happened. It pained Adrien that he never stopped to think about how Plagg must be feeling in all of this.

Plagg had stood by him through everything. He had tried to warn him. Warn him that his idea was incredibly dangerous and reckless. He had been there for Adrien when it had all gone wrong. He had been there for Adrien when Ladybug was missing, and when the authorities finally decided to declare that she was dead. Plagg had been there for Adrien during the funeral, sitting in silence with Adrien when it was all over as the rain poured down on them. Her cenotaph in the centre of Paris had served as a gruesome reminder that there was nothing of Ladybug left – that it was Adrien's fault. Plagg had been there for him during that horrible realisation. He had been there for him through those long days and nights, alone in his mansion as all of the staff, including Adrien at one point, were arrested and interrogated for possibly having links to Hawkmoth and his actions. He was there for Adrien as his mental state began to deteriorate further and further.

But yet, Adrien never stopped to think about what Plagg had lost. Plagg was there for Adrien, yet Adrien wasn't there for him in return; he was completely and totally selfish. It was obvious from what little Plagg revealed of his thoughts and feelings that he and the kwami of the ladybug miraculous were close. Ladybug and her miraculous had both gone missing that day. Whereas it was obvious that Ladybug had died in the fire, what happened to the ladybug miraculous was a mystery. Plagg wasn't sure that it could be completely incinerated, and no one knew what would happen to the kwami if such a thing could happen. Plagg said that a miraculous could definitely be damaged, but if that was the case, then surely the earrings would have been found at the scene. Had they been stolen? If so, then by whom? Surely if they had, a new ladybug hero or villain would have shown up.

Though to be honest, as guilty as these thoughts made him feel, Adrien couldn't bring himself to care about what had happened to Ladybug's miraculous. He was sure that it was likely fine somewhere. All Adrien cared about was his lady, and what he had done to her. In her dying moments, Ladybug might have even done something to protect it from falling into the wrong hands, Adrien thought to himself with a sad smile. She was certainly smart enough to do such a thing. Just not smart enough to see through him that night…

"No," Adrien replied sorrowfully, " _I'm_ sorry. I rarely think of you in any of this."

Plagg shrugged. "You've had a lot on your own mind without me adding to it."

"And you haven't?" Adrien sighed before continuing. "You lost the kwami of the Ladybug miraculous and it's all my fault that happened. Things can't be easy for your either. I have no idea how you put up with me. I'm surprised you haven't tried to escape me or something."

Plagg finally turned around and let out a small growl before flying over to angrily hover directly in front of Adrien's face. "Now you listen here! What happened was not your fault! Did you make a stupid and dumb decision, yeah, but how was anybody to know what was going to happen? How were you supposed to know that your father had it in him to do…" Plagg trailed off and paused before looking down sadly, "to do something like that?"

Adrien looked down sadly, tears welling up in his eyes again. "I've been horrible to you these past few years, and I don't know why. Well, I do know why, but I just keep getting these strange feelings."

Plagg looked confused. "What strange feelings?"

"I just…" Adrien paused, not really knowing how to explain how he had been feeling, "I just get these uncontrollable urges. I feel so angry, like I always constantly need to destroy things. It's been going on for years now, but it seems to be getting even worse lately…" Adrien trailed off as he caught the odd look on Plagg's face. He couldn't quite read his kwamis expression, but he almost looked…worried? Plagg had stopped eating his cheese and was instead, frozen in place right in front of Adrien, the piece of cheese dangling beneath him as he loosely clutched onto it. His green eyes stared into space and Adrien was about to click his fingers in front of his kwami's face before the loud ringing of the doorbell made them both jump.

Adrien froze as he wondered who it could be; he didn't think he was expecting anyone. Should he just pretend he wasn't in? Though he knew that would never work as everyone in Paris probably knew that Adrien Agreste didn't leave his home now after everything had happened. He wasn't sure he could face anyone today, let alone a potential total stranger. No one could ever see him. Adrien Agreste, the biggest national scandal in French history, the son of Hawkmoth who had been terrorising the city of Paris, enslaving and using their loved ones for his own gain. The shame was too much to bear.

Gulping, Adrien slowly walked towards the hallway to his security system that was positioned fairy close to the front door. Activating the camera, Adrien then sighed with relief when he realised that it was only Nino. Though he still wasn't comfortable with seeing anyone right now. But he knew Nino wouldn't give up and that his best friend would want to check on him. He wouldn't leave until he was sure that Adrien was alright, well, as alright as he could be anyway.

Taking a deep breath as he unlocked the gates to let Nino in, he then moved slowly towards the front door, ready to quickly part them just enough to let Nino in without potentially letting any nosey neighbours see into the mansion. As soon as he heard Nino knock on the door, Adrien quickly opened the doors before slamming them shut behind Nino once again. His best friend knew the drill by now and quickly ducked out of the way in time, gazing down at Adrien with his familiar concerned expression.

"Dude, you look even worse than you did the last time I saw you," Nino gasped, moving his cap up slightly and pushing his glasses up his nose so that he could get a better look at Adrien's face.

"Gee, thanks," Adrien muttered sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he led Nino further into the house and into the large living room. Plagg had likely already flew off to hide in Adrien's bedroom with his giant stash of cheese like he always did. Adrien was more grateful for his kwami's actions that usual. He wanted to be alone with Nino. His best friend's presence gave Adrien an idea: maybe Nino was the perfect person to ask about Marinette. Maybe he knew what had happened to her to make her this way.

What was he doing? He was supposed to be staying away from anything related to Marinette. But at the same time, he had to know. He had to know what had happened to her. He had been too afraid to ask Marinette in case he upset her. Despite the fact he was supposed to be staying away from her, Adrien guessed that it couldn't do much harm to ask about her. After all, Marinette had been Adrien's friend once upon a time.

"Sorry, man, I don't mean to offend, it's just you do look a bit worse than you normally do," Nino noted, sitting down on one of the couches as he gazed up at Adrien worriedly. Adrien merely shrugged his shoulders as he took a seat opposite his friend, collapsing down into the cushions and leaning back in the hopes that maybe the couch would swallow him up.

"I've just been having a bit of a rough time is all," Adrien mumbled as he ran his hands over his face before trying to smooth his hair back, hoping that fixing his appearance slightly would help ease Nino's concerns.

"What do you mean? You never leave this house or talk to anyone?" Nino looked confused.

Adrien internally growled, hating having to come up with lies all the time. "It doesn't matter," he quickly dismissed.

Nino thought for a moment. "Oh, I get it."

Adrien's eyes widened as they flickered up to Nino worriedly.

"It's coming up to the anniversary of when…when everything happened," Nino spoke softly, gazing at Adrien with nothing but concern in his eyes.

Those words caused Adrien to blink. It…it was approaching the anniversary? Adrien had almost completely forgotten with everything that had been going on with Marinette lately. The thought that he had nearly forgotten sent a stab of pain through Adrien's already bruised and battered chest. How could he have forgotten?! How could he have forgotten his lady just like that?! He really was turning into some sort of monster lately! His breathing began to rapidly pick up at that thought and his heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest.

"Whoa whoa whoa, Adrien, dude, take it easy, it's okay, I'm sorry for bringing it up," Nino panicked, sitting forward in his seat, ready to jump up to try and help calm Adrien down.

Adrien swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to calm his breathing. He couldn't break down now. Not in front of Nino. Nino could never see just how broken he was. No one could. He was honestly surprised that Nino still wanted anything to do with him after everything. Who would want to hang around with the son of Hawkmoth? But Nino was a good person. Adrien knew that Nino would never see him that way; all Nino would see is his friend. But if only Nino knew what Adrien had done. Then he would never want anything to do with him ever again.

"Sorry," Adrien whispered.

"No, I'm sorry," Nino sighed, "I had no idea that it still affected you that badly. I should have realised and I'm sorry for that. I'll tell you what, let's talk about something else, shall we?"

Adrien managed to shoot Nino a small, fake smile.

"Like…" Nino trailed off awkwardly as he tried to think of something, "how's the Agreste fashion business doing?"

Adrien internally groaned, wishing that they were talking about anything right now rather than business. Adrien didn't care. He just left his father's company to pretty much run itself and only chipped in when he absolutely had to. He would do so from the safety of his mansion, never properly interacting with any members of staff. Honestly, Adrien was seriously considering just selling the company at this point. He renamed the company years ago to Agreste, hoping to remove the stain that was his father from the brand.

"Don't know, don't care," Adrien answered honestly and apathetically.

"Adrien…" Nino lightly scolded.

"What?" Adrien demanded. "I don't know anything about running a fashion business. I just worked as a model. My father was hoping that I would take over the company someday, but he hadn't begun to teach me anything yet. I don't care about fashion. I don't care about the company. It has too many bad memories."

"But won't it go under if you keep up that attitude?" Nino asked. "I've already noticed that one of the stores has closed down."

Adrien shrugged, not caring. Maybe it was best if the business just died. It probably wouldn't last now anyway due to its association with Hawkmoth. Share prices in the business plummeted as soon as Gabriel Agreste was exposed as Hawkmoth, as well as sales. The business was struggling, that much Adrien knew. No one cared enough to save it. There was no one who _could_ save it. It was permanently tainted. Members of staff were quitting left, right and centre, and finding good designers to work for the company was incredibly hard to come by now. No top end designer wanted to work for a business that was associated with Hawkmoth.

"I don't want to talk about business," Adrien scrunched up his nose in disgust.

"Okay, well, what do you want to talk about?" Nino asked patiently.

Adrien took the opportunity to seize his chance. "How is everyone?"

Nino blinked before he thought for a moment. "Everyone is fine. Alya is still just as obsessed with finding out the truth about Ladybug."

Adrien winced.

"She's meeting up with some random guy she was speaking to online. He reckons that he has found some really interesting footage for her. I keep trying to tell her that all of this is a lost cause, but she won't listen to me. But I guess this is just her way of dealing with things. I'll just have to be there for her when she ends up disappointed," Nino explained as he glanced down sadly, twiddling his fingers awkwardly.

"That's Alya though," Adrien mumbled, clenching his fists into tight balls. Why did she have to go meddling and bringing all of this up? Sometimes Alya was almost as bad as Rena Rouge. That stupid fox hero had tried to question him relentlessly about what had happened when they first met, desperate for any clue on where Ladybug and her miraculous might be. Why couldn't people just let the topic of Ladybug drop? Why did everyone in the world have to keep reminding him? It was like everyone was on a mission to torture him.

"Yeah," Nino sighed, "I wouldn't have her any other way though. If anyone can get to the truth of what happened, it's Alya."

Adrien regarded his friend suspiciously. "You don't believe this crackpot theory, do you?"

Nino's eyes widened. "Of course not! We all saw that fire on the news, there was no way anybody could get out of there alive, at least not without being seen anyway. If Ladybug was alive, we would have heard from her by now. The police investigated all of the girls who were admitted to hospital that day or days after for any signs of injuries that may match what Ladybug would have experienced falling from that window and into the fire –"

"Pushed." Adrien interrupted to correct Nino through clenched teeth.

"What?" Nino asked, confused.

"Ladybug didn't fall, she was pushed," Adrien growled.

"Right, sorry," Nino apologised, though he still looked slightly confused as to why Adrien had such a reaction to what he had said. "But I think something else Alya wants to know is how Ladybug even ended up in that situation in the first place. How did she find out that Gabriel was Hawkmoth? How did she end up so easily defeated? Especially seen as Chat Noir was there with her. To be honest, that's something I'm kinda interested in finding out as well. The only people who know for sure what happened that night are Ladybug, Chat Noir and Hawkmoth. Ladybug is dead and well, there's no talking to or reasoning with Chat Noir right now, and Gabriel seems to have gone just as insane while he's been in jail. Sadly, I don't think we'll ever know to be honest."

Adrien shrunk further down into his couch, feeling incredibly nauseous all of a sudden. The feeling only grew worse the longer Nino spoke. Intense feelings of guilt completely overwhelmed him like a powerful current was sucking him beneath the waves of a raging river. He tried to gasp for air, but all he inhaled was water. His vision blurred as the image of Ladybug's face that night danced across his vision, eternally haunting him.

"Adrien?" Nino's worried voice brought Adrien out of his deep, horrifying thoughts.

"Sorry, what?" Adrien shook his head.

"I was just saying that everyone else at school is okay. We're all stressed with applying to universities and stuff, but we're getting there," Nino explained while watching Adrien uneasily. "The people of Paris have been feeling slightly more at ease now that Chat Noir seems to have disappeared. No one has seen him for a good few days and no one can figure out why. However, this does mean there's been a spike in crime though. Rena Rouge, Carapace and Queen Bee have been having a hard time keeping up with everything."

Adrien had to force himself not to sneer at the mention of the names of those pathetic heroes. When he and Ladybug patrolled the streets of Paris, they never had a hard time keeping up with criminal activity. They had always been so in sync with each other, working and fitting perfectly together like yin and yang. Both of them seemed to know what the other was thinking at any given second. So natural was their bond that no criminal or akumatized victim stood a chance against them. These new heroes were nothing but a joke.

"H-how's Marinette?" Adrien finally forced himself to ask.

Nino blinked in surprise. "You've never expressed an interest in Marinette before."

Adrien rolled his eyes, growing impatient. "Is she okay or what?"

"She's fine…" Nino trailed off in confusion before grinning at him suspiciously, "does a certain someone have a soft spot for the baker girl?"

"No!" Adrien hissed, throwing a cushion at his friend, his cheeks growing warm.

"I'm just saying, you always seemed to have a soft spot for her while we were in school together," Nino chuckled.

"She was just a friend!" Adrien protested, frowning in annoyance. There was no way he had, nor could he ever have feelings for Marinette. But, Adrien found himself thinking, what if it was possible for move on from Ladybug one day? What if it was possible for him to love someone again? Marinette seemed to be the one person who made him feel better. Not healed, but at least Adrien felt like he was able to breathe again while he was around her. Marinette meant a lot to him, that much Adrien knew he had to admit to as there was no denying it. But could Marinette ever feel the same way about him? Anything they would have would be a lie as long as Adrien never told her what really happened that night. Would Marinette understand? Would she forgive him? Would he have a relationship with her as Adrien, or as Chat Noir? Both were as equally impossible.

Digging into his pocket, Adrien's hand finally brushed against the red, blood stained ribbon he kept in there. The whole reason that ribbon was in his pocket was because of him. If Marinette knew the truth, she would run a mile. So what hope did he have in being with her?

No! What on earth was he thinking? Ladybug was the one and only girl for him. How could he even be thinking about Marinette this way?! She was just a girl that he had been trying to help. She was an old friend and nothing more. He couldn't betray Ladybug…not again…

"If you say so," Nino laughed again, "that girl certainly thought the world of you."

Adrien froze before blinking at Nino in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Errrrr," Nino suddenly looked horrified and incredibly uncomfortable, "j-just that she was a…a…a huge fan of yours." Nino smiled awkwardly making a finger gun gesture towards Adrien. "She loved fashion and the Gabriel brand was her favourite. She loved your father's work."

"Huh," Adrien frowned, "I never knew that about her." He knew that Marinette had a talent for art and designing things, but he had no idea that she was that into fashion. He never knew that she had been a huge fan of his father's. No doubt she was devastated when she found out that her idol was really the villain who had been terrorising Paris. That Adrien Agreste, another idol of hers, was Hawkmoth's son. Adrien couldn't help but feel deflated at the thought of Marinette hating him.

"Marinette's a sweet girl. It's a shame you never really got the chance to get to know her better."

"Yeah," Adrien murmured.

"She hasn't been in school these past few days though," Nino continued, "she's been pretty sick. Alya has been visiting her everyday and she says that she's getting better. Well…as best as she can get anyway."

"What do you mean?" Adrien feigned ignorance.

"Well…" Nino looked away awkwardly, "it's hard to explain."

"Just try your best," Adrien urged.

"It was the weirdest thing," Nino began after a brief pause, "she just suddenly left to go on this fashion course for a few weeks. The teacher called her parents to explain and apologise over the whole thing being last minute, and that Marinette was just too talented for him to not give the opportunity to. Marinette's parents were really worried though, and so were Alya and I as it's not like Marinette just drop everything and disappear. Plus we had no idea who this guy was, so we were worried that something might have happened to her. So Tom and Sabine got the police involved, only for Marinette to then call and explain that she was okay and that she was still on the fashion course. The police saw no reason to be alarmed and saw no further need to pursue it, as they were all still busy trying to find Ladybug at the time. They just assumed Marinette was going through a teenage rebellion phase and had just simply neglected to tell her parents about this fashion course. It was just after Ladybug's funeral that Marinette finally came home, but she was…different."

"How do you mean?"

Nino's eyes were distant and haunted as he recalled that time. "She was…odd. She rarely spoke, didn't want to hang out with us anymore, and it was just like she had become a hollow shell. She'd cut her hair really short and she stopped wearing the clothes she designed herself. She makes no effort with her appearance now, just wearing leggings and large sweatshirts, even in the middle of a hot summer's day. She acts incredibly weird too. Freaks out of the strangest things and we're constantly walking on eggshells around her."

"Didn't you ever try to ask what was wrong?" Adrien demanded in shock. "Or try to help her?"

"We tried," Nino sighed, "we asked her continuously what was wrong and tried to use other methods of getting what was wrong out of her. But she had just completely closed herself off to the world. She wouldn't talk to us about anything, she would just sit there, looking like she wasn't even paying attention when we tried to ask her questions. We were all terrified and didn't know what to do. Tom and Sabine tried taking her to a doctor, but Marinette ended up completely freaking out when they told her. She trashed her room and threw most of her old stuff out, mumbling nonsense under her breath. Sabine called Alya and I, hoping that we could talk some sense into her, but nothing worked. In the end she just broke down crying, and all Alya and I could do was just sit there and hold her."

Adrien's eyes were wide as Nino recounted what happened.

"In the end, we decided that maybe Marinette would just tell us when she was good and ready. We decided to just treat her how we always treated her, hoping that a bit of normality might help her. It seemed to work as she calmed down a little bit, however, she's never been the same and is still showing no signs of getting any better. All Alya and I can do is continue to be there for her, ready and waiting for whenever she wants to open up. Trying to force it out of her and treating her different only seems to make her worse, so we can't really think of anything else to do."

"So she went on this fashion course and came back completely different?" Adrien reiterated, checking to make sure he had heard everything right.

Nino nodded. "It was like a completely different Marinette came back. It was terrifying."

"And you have no idea what happened to her?" Adrien asked again.

Nino shook his head. "At first we just thought she was really sad over Ladybug's passing and missing her funeral, but her behaviour was way over the top and weird. Besides, I don't think Marinette was ever that much of a fan of Ladybug. She never really expressed an interest. The only time she would perk up during a superhero conversation was when she was defending Chat Noir, so I guess she was more his fangirl than she was Ladybug's."

The corner of Adrien's lips twitched at that. However, his smirk soon faltered as he realised how devastating it must have been for Marinette as soon as he became the new villain of Paris, terrorising the city. But still, Adrien hardly thought that something like that could cause Marinette to act the way she was. Something had happened to her. Something big and traumatic, and Adrien longed to know what it was. Then maybe he could help her better.

No! Adrien screamed at himself again. He was having nothing more to do with Marinette.

Nino sighed. "We do worry about her. Worry about what could have happened and what she's going through. All sorts of horrible images whirl around your head when a friend suddenly has a breakdown out of the blue. This really isn't like Marinette. She was normally so strong and optimistic. It's awful to see her this way."

"I had no idea," Adrien breathed, staring straight ahead in shock.

"Hey, you were going through your own issues," Nino offered him a reassuring smile. "But maybe one day, you could talk to Marinette. Maybe she'd be more likely to open up to you."

"I very much doubt that." Adrien's face fell again as he glanced back down towards the floor.

"You've got to stop associating yourself with Hawkmoth," Nino got up and walked towards Adrien, placing a hand on his shoulder. "The only person who's doing that is you. No one in Paris believes that you had anything to do with it and everyone's worried about you. Nobody hates you Adrien, and you have no reason to be ashamed."

"I do, Nino." Adrien could feel tears welling up in his eyes again. "You have no idea. I've done some terrible things."

"What are you talking about?" Nino frowned down at him in confusion.

Adrien froze. The words became caught in his throat. Oh how much he just wanted to unload everything onto someone right now. To get the truth about what had happened off his chest. For someone in this world to know what he was really like. He wanted Nino to know who he was _really_ friends with. That he was friends with Chat Noir. A monster. That he was the one who had led Ladybug to her death that night through his own selfishness.

However, the sound of Nino's phone vibrating in his pocket made them both jump. Nino took his hand off Adrien's shoulder and reached down to pick up his phone and glance at it. All the while, Adrien didn't dare move. He didn't dare breathe. He had just nearly revealed everything to Nino. How could he be so stupid? No one could know. He couldn't burden his best friend with something like that. Nino deserved to live in blissful ignorance.

"It's Alya," Nino sighed, "I hate to leave you, but she wants to see me urgently. She says she's found something."

"Better not keep Sherlock waiting then." Adrien abruptly stood up and began walking towards the front door with a confused Nino trailing behind him, trying his best to keep up as he clumsily attempted to answer Alya's text at the same time.

"I don't have to go you know, not if you're feeling like this."

"Like what?" Adrien struggled to keep his temper under control. "This is just how I always feel day in and day out. I'm used to it. I can look after myself, Nino. I don't need babysitting."

Nino raised an eyebrow. "Y'know, you and Marinette sure are alike. I'm starting to wonder if she was there that night seen as she behaves so similarly to you." Nino half-joked.

"Very funny," Adrien muttered sarcastically before opening the door and gesturing for Nino to leave.

Adrien could feel that familiar destructive anger bubbling up inside him again. It was like he was an active volcano that was ready to explode. _Destroy, destroy, destroy._ Those were the only coherent words that continued to run through his mind. His hands twitched and he wanted to break the door he was holding in his hand so badly, to watch in satisfaction as splinters of expensive wood shattered and flew in every direction.

"Adrikins!" A familiar high pitched voice called from the distance.

Both Adrien and Nino froze.

"Did you leave the gate open?" Adrien narrowed his eyes at Nino who looked away guiltily.

"I've gotta go, you know where I am if you need me," Nino uttered quickly before running down the path towards the gate. Adrien glared at him as he stopped to meet Chloé halfway down who had been running up towards him, a happy smile on her face and her arms outstretched.

"I think Adrien just wants some space, Chloé," Nino tried to patiently suggest to her.

Chloé sneered. "Nonsense, Adrien's always happy to see me, aren't you Adrikins?"

Adrien said nothing as he glared at both of them.

"I'm here to help him!" Chloé boasted proudly. "Afterall, I am his best friend."

Nino glared at her before marching off. Chloé squealed in excitement and ran towards Adrien, jumping into his arms. Instinctively, he caught her, but leaned away from her as much as possible He could feel his anger rising to dangerous levels and the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Chloé. But right now, she was really testing his patience and self-control. She had been visiting him over the years, trying to get him to come out of the house. However, he never let her stay long, just holding a quick conversation with her to be polite. But right now, he wasn't even sure he could do that.

"Oh, Adrikins, I just knew you would let me in to see you sooner or later. I stop by as often as I can, but I guess you must be sleeping when I ring the doorbell." Chloé spoke at the speed of light.

"Err, right," Adrien mumbled awkwardly.

"I wish you would come back to school, it's not nearly as fun without you," she pouted, "I just don't understand why you have to lock yourself away here all the time. I mean, it's awful that your father was Hawkmoth, but nobody blames you. And if anybody does say anything to you, I'll just have daddy deal with them."

Adrien growled and pushed Chloé off him. He'd really had enough for one day.

"Please just leave me alone," Adrien mumbled as he began turning back around to head inside.

"But why?" Chloé gasped. "Nobody really gets to see you anymore and I miss you."

"I know, and I'm sorry Chlo," Adrien sighed, "but I just want to be left alone. I can't handle seeing anyone right now. You can come and visit later in the week, I promise."

"Really?!" Chloé's eyes lit up. "Oh that will be amazing. I could come over on Friday! I could bring a movie and we could curl up and watch it together and –"

"Yeah, that's great Chlo," Adrien interrupted, not paying attention to a single word she was saying. "I'll see you later." He quickly dashed back inside his house and slammed the door before collapsing against it. His whole body broke out into a cold sweat as he began panting, placing a hand on his chest, hoping to calm his erratically beating heart. His whole body twitched and the anger soon began to explode out of him again. The urge to transform and wreak havoc in the city again was almost unbearable. It became an even more powerful instinct than the need to eat and drink.

Before he could stop himself, Adrien was running towards his bedroom and, without even giving Plagg a chance to react, transformed into Chat Noir. He burst out of his window, the feeling of the wind against his face as he ran through the city helped to cool him down slightly, though it didn't quell his urge for destruction. It seemed the longer he went without terrorising Paris, the more it built up and the worse he felt.

But no! He didn't want to destroy anything! He didn't want to hurt anyone!

He needed another way to get rid of this feeling. There was only one person who could. Screw, refusing to see her, Chat Noir wasn't sure he could stand being away from her any longer. His whole body breathed a sigh of relief at the thought of finally seeing her again. Even the mere thought of her made him feel slightly better. He selfishly needed her. He needed her more than anything. It was like she was drug and he was now addicted to her. Seeing her again would sooth his cravings. It would give him that fix he needed. She would help make the pain go away. That was enough to fully make up Chat Noir's mind. So he quickly extended his baton and ran across the city towards Marinette's.

* * *

 **Poor Adrien just couldn't stay away from her. I ended up having to split this chapter in half which is annoying, but oh well. Please feel free to let me know your thoughts and opinions in a review as it always helps me out immensely. I hope that you all have a good week and I'll see you all again much sooner this time. Once again, I apologise for the month long wait for this chapter.**

 **ANNOUNCEMENT: I've started my very own blog, full of fanfiction and Miraculous Ladybug related content. You can read about the inspiration behind my stories, read my fanfiction recommendations, and I'll also be talking about the show in general, including episode reviews and fan theory discussions. You can now read about what inspired Madness Within and see my real life notes on past chapters. If you're interested, you can find it at tauruspixie . blogspot. com (just remove the spaces as fanfiction is allergic to links). Anyone can leave a comment on my posts there.**


	19. Emotional Tempest

**Welcome back! I had been hoping to update this story a week ago, but my jaw mysteriously started swelling and it was really sore so I was wallowing around feeling sorry for myself. I went to the doctor and you know what caused it? My anxiety disorder. I'd been poking my face during attacks, causing it to become bruised and the swelling was all in my imagination. Ugh. *facepalm* Plus, my internet then died on me so I was cut off from everything for a few days while I waited to be reconnected. It was torture! Torture! So yeah, I've had a week from hell, lol. How have you guys been? Any interesting stories?**

 **Anyway, thank you so much for all of your lovely reviews. The amount of people that enjoy this story never ceases to amaze me, and people taking the time to leave their opinions always means a lot to me. Also, thank you to everyone who has followed this story and added it to their favourites. This story now has over 500 followers. When I saw that number, I nearly fainted. Thank you so much!**

* * *

 **Chapter 19: Emotional Tempest**

Raindrops slowly began to create a light pitter patter sound against her window as Marinette remained slumped at her desk. She stared out of her window as the rain began to grow heavier and heavier, the individual drops trickling down the glass of her window, creating thick streaks as they blurred the outside world from view.

It had been just over a week since she had last seen Chat Noir. Marinette had thought that not seeing him would make her feel better. Instead, it only made her feel worse. It was like a part of her had broken off and was now missing. Though why she was feeling that way, she had no idea.

Back when they were partners, she had always felt very much in sync with Chat Noir. They really had been the perfect duo, despite how much it broke her heart that she could never return his feelings. It had always been like they could read each other's minds and feel what the other was feeling, allowing them to work together in almost perfect harmony. Who would have thought that years later, after so much time spent hating him for everything he had done to her, Marinette could still feel the exact same way?

How could that even be possible?

The more and more time she had spent around him, the more confused she had become. Why had she been helping him? Why was she bothering to give him the time of day? He had betrayed her. He had nearly killed her. But yet, Marinette found herself stupidly letting him in. She caved in whenever he was around, helping him and being nice to him.

That was _not_ what he deserved.

Did she think that she could get through to him? Make him change his ways? Get to the bottom of what happened that night? Figure out why he had betrayed her? Trying to achieve all of those goals were futile. Chat Noir was beyond help. He was evil. What he had done was evil. She was doing the right thing by trying to stay away from him. It was for the best. She was only torturing herself by being around him.

Marinette should have just taken his miraculous when he was passed out. Then all of this would have been over by now, she thought to herself as she slumped further down in her desk chair, her hands buried deep in the pockets of the large sweatshirt she was wearing. Her expression was blank as she continued to stare out of the window at the rain. However, no matter how hard Marinette tried to make herself focus on her school work, her mind kept wandering back to Chat Noir.

Was he okay? Was he looking after himself?

Vigorously shaking her head, Marinette then growled to herself before sitting up straight and picking up her pencil again. Why should it matter to her? Why should she care whether Chat Noir was looking after himself? He had brought her nothing but pain and misery. She hoped that stupid cat was starving to death!

However, Marinette's heart quickly lurched at that dark thought, and tears began to sting the corner of her eyes at the thought of Chat Noir suffering. Okay, maybe she had gone too far with that. All she wanted was for him to leave her alone. No matter what Chat Noir had done to her, even from the very beginning, she just couldn't bring herself to wish for any bad harm to come to him. She was just weak and pathetic like that. No matter how many times she tried to switch her feelings off, Marinette couldn't help but care for him. He had been her partner, her best friend, her most trusted ally. Those were feelings that can't just be switched off. And that only made her suffer even more, leaving her to drown in a pool of confusion as two opposite currents tried to pull her in different directions.

But…he seemed to be changing lately. It was almost as if he was the Chat Noir she had known and loved. There was something about what had happened all those years ago that Chat Noir was hiding – that he had been hiding from everyone. He had almost let it slip to her the last time they had spoken.

Was there more to what happened than met the eye? Because never in a million years did Marinette believe that Chat Noir could just betray her on a whim.

If he had truly become her enemy, then shouldn't Chat Noir have rejoiced at the news of Ladybug's demise? Instead, he went on television, appearing to be incredibly upset over what had happened. But that could have just been a trick for the masses. But if that was the case, why did he continue to openly grieve for Ladybug, even when the two of them were alone together?

It just wasn't making any sense.

There had to be something that she was missing.

However, Marinette's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a loud thump above her head.

Startled, Marinette froze in place before forcing herself to take a deep breath, rationalising that it was probably just something being blown across her balcony by the stormy winds outside.

Once again trying to push Chat Noir to the back of her mind, Marinette chewed on the end of her pencil as she stared down at her homework in front of her. What was the point of even trying? What was the point in trying to get good grades when she already knew that she wasn't going to get into university?

She didn't care about fashion anymore. She didn't care about designing.

None of it mattered anymore.

She should just stay in her bedroom forever and waste away.

A sinking feeling, like she had swallowed a heavy weight, slowly seeped down from her chest and all the way into her stomach. A great tempest formed over her mind, just like the one above Paris right now.

Everything was pointless.

Why did she even bother trying to exist?

"GAAAHHH!" Marinette yelped and fell backwards out of her chair when her balcony door was suddenly yanked open before Chat Noir collapsed into her room, tripping over the railings of her bed and falling to the floor with a loud thump.

He groaned as he lay in a heap on the ground, and all Marinette could do was stare at him with wide eyes as she too laid in an awkward position.

The wind quickly slammed her balcony door shut again, and the room was silent apart from the noise of the rain hammering against the window. Marinette's heart thudded in her chest, refusing to calm down as she continued to stare at Chat Noir, unable to take her eyes off him or even move.

What was he doing here?! He'd left her alone for over a week, so why all of a sudden had he decided to show up?

But she couldn't bring herself to shout at him or say anything. All she could do was watch as his body twitched, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. What was wrong with him?

Marinette went into even more of a panic. She had never seen Chat Noir like this before. Had something happened? However, before she could run over to him, the more rational and cautious part of her brain ordered her to stop. What should it matter to her? She had vowed to stay away from him. It was too risky. She couldn't have him finding out her secret. She couldn't constantly have him around anymore, serving as a torturous reminder of everything that had happened…of everything that he'd done…of everything that she'd done…

So instead, Marinette continued to remain frozen in place, her mind torn in two over what she should do. One half screamed at her to help him, the other yelled at her to remain where she was and order him to go away again.

She couldn't risk going near him. She couldn't risk letting him back into her life. She had already taken such a huge gamble with everything she had done so far. At any moment, he could figure it all out and discover her secret.

Her eyes darted towards the drawer of her desk at that thought, and she gasped as Chat Noir's head also seemed to tilt in that direction, his eyes completely wild, as if he wasn't even human anymore. Marinette quickly looked away, worried that Chat Noir had caught on to the fact that she was hiding something there. If he sprang up and looked now, it would be game over. She'd be dead.

But would she?

Chat Noir had seemed truly devastated at the loss of Ladybug, and it wasn't him who had defeated her that night, but in fact Hawkmoth. He was the one who had stolen her weapon. He was the one who had pushed her out of that window into the flames below.

Maybe Chat Noir had never intended for Ladybug to die that night? But if that was the case then why didn't he save her? Why had he let her fall? Why hadn't he pulled her from the fire? What had he been doing all that time? Marinette had watched it on the news time and time again. She remembered Chat Noir leaving the house just after Hawkmoth was apprehended and arrested. According to eye witness accounts, he had been looking for her. Why would he do that? To make sure she was dead?

Marinette shook her head. She was starting to sound like Alya. But little did Alya know, she was right about her own conspiracy theories. Was it a far-cry for Marinette to be right about there being more to Chat Noir's betrayal than met the eye? Would it be possible for her to even find out?

She stared at him as he continued to stare at her desk drawer, seemingly completely transfixed. Growing increasingly worried, Marinette quickly stood up. This sudden movement seemed to snap Chat Noir out of his trance, and he pushed himself up slightly, sitting in a cat-like position as he stared up at her, looking like a deer caught in headlights. He was as still as a statue, almost as if he didn't dare move.

That was new. Normally he didn't hesitate to push Marinette's buttons and hang around her, not caring what Marinette thought of the whole thing. Her own eyes widened again as she stared back at him, blinking as she wasn't sure whether she was dreaming or not. Once again, he almost looked like his old self again. It caused her both pain and happiness at the same time, however the pain quickly won the inner emotional battle, causing Marinette to glare down at him.

"What are you doing here?!" Marinette snapped, her heart still thudding loudly in her chest in fear.

"I…" Chat Noir struggled to speak, looking away and down at the floor.

His black, leather ears drooped slightly under Marinette's gaze, causing Marinette's eyes to widen once again. What was going on?

"I…needed to see you," Chat Noir finally admitted, his face lowering even more to hide his features.

His whole body was trembling as he curled in on himself even more. It looked like he was trying to make himself look as small as possible. Marinette's hands twitched at the sight, longing to reach out and wrap her arms around him in comfort, wanting nothing more than to help and make him feel better. But she resisted the urge.

"Chat, you can't just keep barging in and out like this. One moment you're running away from me, and the next minute you say that you need to see me. I don't understand what it is that you want from me. Why can't you just leave me alone?!" Marinette's voice rose towards the end, her tone becoming more and more hysterical as the confusion and pain overwhelmed her.

Why was he doing this to her? Why did he always have to cause her so much pain?

"I…I don't know…" Chat Noir trailed off as he slowly stood up and stared down at his hands, sounding like he was experiencing just as much confusion and pain as Marinette was. "T-there's…something…w-wrong with me…"

"That has to be the biggest understatement ever." Marinette could feel herself getting more and more wound up. "You follow me around, break into my home, attack my friends, stalk me around Paris, try to kidnap me, and not to mention all of the people around Paris that you've hurt and attacked. You betrayed Ladybug and your responsibilities as a hero, you sided with Hawkmoth, and only now you admit that something might be wrong with you?!"

"And once again you are speaking about things that you do not understand," Chat Noir growled out, clenching his hands into tight fists as he continued to look down, hiding his expression from view. Though Marinette had a pretty good idea of what his face would look like right now.

She was tired of Chat Noir's confusing and ambiguous behaviour. She was tired of being caught in the middle of it all. She just wanted to get on with her life. She wanted to try and forget about what happened. But she couldn't do that with Chat Noir constantly in her life, bringing up all of these old, strange and foreign feelings.

She was supposed to hate him. She should hate him. She needed to hate him.

"I understand more than you could ever possibly know," Marinette snapped through clenched teeth without thinking.

However, her eyes widened as soon as the words left her mouth, and Chat Noir looked up in alarm and confusion. His expression quickly morphed back into a frown, though his eyes remained locked on hers as they narrowed and shone dangerously.

Marinette's heart almost stopped in her chest. That was too close. She really needed to keep herself in check, but she couldn't do that with Chat Noir constantly bringing everything back up and provoking her. So much for him sounding and acting like his old self again. He had reverted right back to the deranged Chat Noir who had plagued Paris for the past four years. He was the Chat Noir who had trapped her that night. The Chat Noir who had hunted her around the Agreste mansion before capturing her and dragging her back into Hawkmoth's lair.

"Get out," Marinette ordered.

Chat Noir's eyes widened in panic.

"Get out!" Marinette yelled louder this time, storming towards him.

He still didn't budge as he continued to stare at her like a wounded animal, almost weakening Marinette's resolve. For some reason, she wanted nothing more than to beg him to stay, especially because of how much he had been like his old self lately. He had been so… _kind_ to her.

But she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't take all of this confusion. She couldn't take all of the horrible reminders.

"Marinette…" Chat Noir gasped out, sounding incredibly worried.

"I hate you!" she screamed as she began slamming her fists against his chest. "You ruined my life and I hate you!"

Hot tears streamed down her cheeks as she continued to slam her fists against him, though Chat Noir remained standing completely still as he stared down at her, not doing anything to stop her. No! He was Chat Noir! He should be killing her for doing this! Why wasn't he hurting her? From the very beginning, although he had psychologically messed with her, he had never physically attacked her. Why?! Why was Chat Noir such a frustrating enigma who played with her feelings and her mind?!

"What do you mean I ruined your life?" Chat Noir asked, his voice low and frightened.

Marinette didn't answer him as she slammed her fist against his chest one last time before raising and tensing her shoulders as she struggled to contain the violent sobs that were threatening to claw their way out of her chest. There he went again sounding like his old self, only more vulnerable and frightened. Marinette couldn't keep up, and it was starting to take its toll. She didn't know how much more confusion and pain she could take before she shattered into a million tiny pieces. She already felt like she was dangerously close to that breaking point.

"You mean the way I kept following you after that night?" Chat Noir asked.

Marinette still didn't say anything, allowing him to believe that was the reason. She'd opened her stupid big mouth again. But in that moment, she just couldn't help herself. All of a sudden it was like she was ready to burst. It was like she had transformed into a soda bottle and everything kept shaking her none stop while Marinette tried desperately to keep a lid on everything. If she burst, she would only cause devastation, and cause an even bigger mess than the one she was in. She needed to keep a lid on everything, no matter how much energy it took, no matter how much her body begged for it all to be unleashed.

Chat Noir couldn't find out the truth.

No one could find out the truth.

"M-Mari…I…I'm so sorry about everything I've done to you. It's just, after everything that happened these past few years, I really haven't been myself. Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me, but I know I can't use that as an excuse for what I did to you, or anyone else. But…being around you…for some reason…it made me feel better. You would numb the pain for a while. And that was selfish of me." Chat Noir sounded close to tears as he spoke. "At first I was…just using you I suppose. Trying to fill the giant hole in my chest and at least numb the pain for a few hours. But then –"

Chat Noir was quickly cut off by the sound of Marinette gasping as her eyes drifted down to his right hand that was clenched into a tight fist at his side. Her blue eyes locked onto the small object that was held tight within his grasp.

No…it couldn't be…

Looking confused, Chat Noir followed Marinette's gaze before he too gasped. Bile rose up in Marinette's throat, but no matter how much the sight sickened her, she still couldn't take her eyes off the little red ribbon that remained in Chat Noir's hand. Her eyes followed it as he raised his hand up to inspect the object, seemingly just as startled to see it in his hand just as much as Marinette was.

But in that moment, Marinette didn't care. Her vision turned as red as the ribbon, her mind continuously flashing back to that night, making her feel dizzy. Her heart almost leapt out of her chest, and it felt like her lungs had shrivelled up inside her, leaving little room for the air she was trying to gasp at and breathe in. Her chest grew impossibly tight, like someone had placed her in the middle of a huge vice. Her whole body trembled, and the room around her grew as hot as the fire that night.

"W-where did you get that?" was all Marinette could squeak out.

Chat Noir looked terrified as he watched her. "I…I found it…that night…"

"Why do you have it?"

"I…"

"Is it some sort of sick trophy?!" Marinette screamed, her vision going blurry as fresh tears welled up in her eyes. As soon as she blinked them away, more would form, thankfully hiding that awful reminder from view. A reminder of who she used to be. Of the mistake she had made.

"What?!" Chat Noir cried out.

"You betrayed Ladybug that night and led her to her death! Now you keep her hair ribbon as a trophy of her defeat!" Marinette tugged at her shorter hair, the hair she had lost that night because of what he had done.

Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe Chat Noir had intended for her to die that night. She was a fool to try and rationalise him. She was a fool for thinking there may still have been good in him. That maybe he had been deceived or controlled by Hawkmoth. Chat Noir was the most sick and twisted individual she had ever met.

"No!" Chat Noir screamed, sounding like an animal in pain. "You don't know anything!"

Marinette's eyes widened once again as Chat Noir collapsed back onto his knees, clutching the ribbon tightly to his chest as if it was the most precious object in the world. Like a child clinging to its favourite toy or comfort blanket. Like someone clutching a loved one they were trying to desperately protect.

The bloody, torn up ribbon was now buried in his hand, hiding it from Marinette's view, allowing her to think more clearly again. However, all she could do was watch as Chat Noir collapsed in on himself, his sobs filling her room and drowning out the loud sound of the wind and rain.

"I LOVED HER!" Chat Noir cried out before howling in pain. "She was my world! I had never meant for any of this to happen. I never wanted anyone to get hurt, let alone _her_! It's all my fault…it's all my fault…it's all my fault…"

All Marinette could do was watch in horror as Chat Noir began rocking back and forth, his face ghostly pale as his eyes grew distant. She recognised that look. She recognised what was happening better than anyone. She too experienced these things. She had been brought back to that night a million times. It completely stunned her to know that Chat Noir experienced the same thing.

However, Marinette soon found her heart fluttering at his initial words. He…he loved her…

No. He had loved _Ladybug_.

He still did love her.

So why had he switched sides? Why had he joined Hawkmoth? If he loved her so much, why did he abandon her?

Marinette found herself collapsing to her knees as she took in the sight of the broken Chat Noir before her. He said…he said that he'd never meant for anyone to get hurt. What did that mean? Did that mean that Marinette's hunch had been right? That there was more to what happened than met the eye? Judging by Chat Noir's words and the way he was behaving, there had to be.

Marinette was now surer than ever. Something had happened to Chat Noir. Something that made him join Hawkmoth. Something that made him want to take her miraculous. But what? Marinette was now more determined than ever to find out. If she could find out what happened, then maybe she could finally have peace of mind. Maybe she could finally get through to him and get him to hand over his miraculous willingly instead of her having to steal it. Then she could finally move on. She would know the truth, and Chat Noir would be no more. The person beneath the mask could then maybe work on fixing his own life.

Swallowing nervously, Marinette began to slowly shuffle towards Chat Noir, crawling across the floor until she was sitting directly next to him. His whole body trembled, and Marinette's heart broke at the sight of just how lost and vulnerable he looked right now. Whatever had happened must have really taken its toll on him.

What horrors had he experienced? What horrors had he endured without Marinette ever giving him a second thought or coming to the conclusion that maybe Chat Noir had gotten himself into a very bad situation? Had he needed her help that night? Had he been trying to give her some sort of code and she had been too busy worrying about Adrien to notice?

Those thoughts began to make Marinette feel incredibly guilty. Was what happened to Chat Noir… _her_ fault?

It was all starting to make sense now. He had been acting weird a few weeks before that night, and Marinette had always wished that she had spoken to him about it. But she was so caught up in her own dramas and just figured that Chat Noir would tell her when he was ready. She didn't want to push him, but now, she desperately wished she could go back and ask him. Maybe then all of this could have been avoided.

Pushing those thoughts aside for now, Marinette decided to focus on Chat Noir who was still curled up and sobbing on her bedroom floor. She had never seen him this way before. It was almost scary. But it looked like Marinette had finally broken through his amour. Was this how Chat Noir really felt underneath? Was the villain he portrayed himself as now just a persona to hide his pain and grief?

Cautiously, and feeling slightly unsure, Marinette reached her hand out and gently touched Chat Noir on the shoulder, hoping to be of some comfort. However, she was still worried that he could turn on her at any second. She was still mad at him over everything he had done, but at least now she might finally get an understandable reason. It was clear that Chat Noir wasn't lying when he said that he had never meant for anyone to get hurt. There was no way someone could say those words with that amount of pain and not mean them. Marinette knew Chat Noir better than anyone, and it seemed that she still did. She always knew when there was something wrong. She always knew when he was lying.

She gently rubbed his shoulder until Chat Noir's sobs and shaking subsided slightly. His head still remained bowed, and Marinette couldn't see his face behind his wild, golden blond hair, but she knew that he couldn't look good right now. She shuffled closer to him slightly, and Chat Noir leaned towards her, as if she was a powerful magnet.

Being near him like this again almost made Marinette feel like she could breathe again. She never realised it before, but she had been feeling slightly better with Chat Noir around, despite how confused she would often feel. This past week without him, she had been feeling empty and hollow again. Maybe her making Chat Noir feel better worked both ways…

Marinette quickly shook her head to force herself to focus.

"Chat…" she began slowly, "something happened between you and Hawkmoth, didn't it?"

It took a while for Chat Noir move, but when he finally did, he slowly nodded, still making sure to hide his face.

Marinette's heart almost came to an abrupt stop in her chest at his confirmation. She froze, and all she could do was stare at Chat Noir, hoping that he might say and reveal more. However, he never did. His sobbing had stopped now, and he was instead sitting completely still on her floor, still refusing to look up at her. His whole body had gone slightly limp as Marinette stopped rubbing his shoulder, hoping that it might help him focus a bit more.

"W-what happened?" Marinette found herself asking before she could stop herself.

Once again, it took a while for Chat Noir to respond, however, his next words sent an unexplainable shiver down Marinette's spine.

"You'll hate me."

Marinette blinked in shock.

What did he mean she'll hate him? As if it was possible for the people of Paris to hate him anymore than they already did. So why was he keeping so tight lipped about what had happened? Maybe it was incredibly traumatic and he couldn't bring himself to talk about it? Maybe he was in a similar situation to what she was in?

Either way, it broke her heart.

If he had been tricked or manipulated by Hawkmoth in some way, then how could she hate him for that? Hawkmoth must have done something diabolical in order to get Chat Noir to join him. Chat had admitted that he still loved Ladybug – he always had done – and that he had never meant for anyone to get hurt.

Despite still being hurt over everything, Marinette could at least bring herself to understand his circumstances, and maybe even forgive him one day. However, she couldn't do that until she knew the truth. And it didn't look like Chat Noir was going to reveal it anytime soon.

"I understand if you don't want to tell me," Marinette soothed him. "I can't think of what might have happened that would make me hate you, especially if something bad happened between you and Hawkmoth. I'm still angry and upset – and I probably will be for a long time – that you betrayed m – Ladybug. You can't just erase all of those feelings."

Chat Noir curled even more in on himself before he whimpered.

Without thinking, and before she could stop herself, Marinette reached over and pulled Chat Noir against her. Part of her cringed at having the friend who had betrayed her so close to her, but it soon relaxed and left her alone. Chat Noir fell limply against her. Touching him and being so close like this sent small electric shocks throughout Marinette's entire body. It shocked her broken and dying heart back into motion, and pleasant tingles danced across her skin. His head rested against her chest, just over her frantically beating heart. Though he had started out laying limply against her, his arms soon wrapped around her, pulling himself even tighter against her.

It felt…nice…

In that moment, Marinette almost completely forgot about everything. She forgot about all the pain and all the heartache. Chat Noir wasn't an enemy to be feared, he was her trusted friend again. A friend who was in desperate need of her help. Marinette may not be Ladybug anymore, but she could still do this one final act before she moved on with her life – or at least tried to anyway.

She would help Chat Noir. She would get to the bottom of what really happened, and hopefully get Chat Noir to willingly hand over his miraculous. Then all of this would finally be over.

"I'm so sorry, Marinette," Chat Noir whispered again, his voice choking slightly.

"I know," Marinette choked back, unable to resist burying her face in his hair.

He smelled so intoxicating, so familiar. It brought back happy memories. Happy memories of their time together as the superheroes of Paris, protecting the citizens from Hawkmoth's akumas, and any other criminals out and about in the city. How they would laugh together and chase each other through the city when they went out on patrol together. How they would sit together and watch the sun set over the city, talking about everything and nothing.

Weirdly, Chat Noir had always been her rock. He was the very first person to give her confidence in herself as a superhero. He had comforted her when she was scared and unsure of herself. He had always had her back, taking blows for her, making sure she never got hurt, sacrificing himself so that she could save the city.

What had Hawkmoth done to her kitty?

"I don't think it helped that you looked and sounded so much like Ladybug," Chat Noir admitted, causing Marinette to freeze. "I suppose that maybe, I was partly projecting her onto you. But I know that you're not her. I see you for the kind, sweet girl you really are, and I hated seeing what you had become. I wanted to help you. Making you feel better made me feel better. I still want to help you, Marinette."

Marinette sighed. "Maybe I don't want help. Maybe I don't want to get better. I deserve everything I get and I deserve everything I feel –"

"How can you say that?!" Chat Noir abruptly pulled away from her, glaring at her as he grasped her shoulders and started into her eyes for the first time in a while, causing a shiver to run down Marinette's spine. "You are one of the most wonderful and strong people I know. Nobody else in this city would have helped me, but _you_ did. Despite everything I've done to you, you were still there for me. You're a very special girl, Marinette."

"But you can't waste all of your energy on me!" Marinette exclaimed in frustration. "You need to focus on getting better yourself. I don't know what happened to you, but it's obvious that something went very wrong somewhere. But I can see now, that deep down you're still the same Chat Noir. The hero who saved Paris on a regular basis, and who was always willing to do anything to keep people safe." Marinette placed a hand on top of one of his hands that was gripping her shoulder. "And if you need someone to be there for you, I'll gladly do it. I may not be a hero, but I'd never want to abandon a friend when they're in need. You're very special too, kitty."

Chat Noir sat there in stunned silence as he stared down at her. Marinette was worried that she had gone too far, and that he might run away again. The last time she had pushed him, he fled. However, Chat Noir didn't move. Their eyes remained locked together, and Marinette got lost in them that, in that moment, felt so comforting, so safe, and so…familiar.

Her heart fluttered in her chest, and a strange wave washed over her body the longer they stared at each other. However, this wave didn't threaten to drown her. It simply and gently carried her away to another, unknown shore. The waters were warm, and it sent pleasurable shivers through her body as it caressed her skin.

A rumble of thunder boomed loudly above them, but neither of them flinched. Marinette watched as Chat Noir's pupils dilated slightly, and an emotion that Marinette couldn't quite recognise crossed his face as well as a look of uncertainty. She barely registered that he had begun to lean forward slightly. It wasn't until she found herself mirroring his movements that she realised how close their faces were becoming. Her lips tingled as she found her eyes flickering down towards his own. His mouth was parted slightly, an unsure expression still on his face, but it wasn't long before his eyes became hooded.

Instinctively, Marinette's own eyes fluttered closed, her whole body suddenly reaching out and yearning for the boy sat in front of her. Her mind went blank, and her whole body was acting without her input, drawn to Chat Noir as if he was a bright, warm star, and she was a lost, rogue planet, looking for a place to belong.

Their faces grew closer and closer, and Marinette desperately longed to quench that deep thirst and hunger that was now ravaging her from the inside.

However, a knock on her bedroom door soon had Marinette's eyes snapping open before she launched herself away from Chat Noir breathlessly. Chat Noir remained where he was and looked just as startled by the sudden sound.

Marinette's heart then sank at the sound of a familiar voice drifting up from behind her door.

"Marinette?! It's Alya! I've got something important to show you!"

* * *

 ***gasps* What were Marinette and Chat Noir about to do?! Please don't kill me! If you do that, you won't get to find out what happens next! This chapter was a little on the shorter side as this was originally supposed to be a part of the previous chapter, so I apologise for that. As always, please feel free to let me know what you thought of this chapter in a review as it's always a huge help to me. Also, if you want to take a break from my serious, dark stuff, I've written a light-hearted one-shot in which Marinette discovers Alya's LadyNoir fanfiction titled 'Secret Shipper'. See, I can write more happy, funny stuff, I'm not all doom and gloom…most of the time. See you guys soon.**


	20. Entangled

**Ugh, maybe at some point I'll get my writing back on track. I had been hoping to start updating this story more regularly, but so far that's not exactly going to plan. But thank you guys so much for being patient with me, I really appreciate it, and I hope that you're all doing okay. Thank you so much for all of your lovely reviews and thank you to everyone who has followed this story and added it to their favourites. Your support means the world to me.**

 **Guest reviewer: I'll answer your question here seen as I can't PM you. This story will probably be around 40 chapters long, however, this estimate is subject to change given that some chapters in my plans end up getting split up or joined together. But roughly right now, it looks like this story will be around 40 chapters in length. So we're around the halfway mark right now.**

* * *

 **Chapter 20: Entangled**

"Marinette?" Alya's confused voice continued to shout from the other side of Marinette's bedroom door.

The loud knocking continued, and the door jiggled as Alya tried to enter, however, Marinette had thankfully locked her door, hoping that she would have been left alone all day. All she could do was sit there and stare at the door in fear. What was Alya doing here?! Whatever it was, it sounded pretty urgent.

Another much louder knock finally snapped Marinette out of her terrified frozen state. Her eyes immediately darted towards Chat Noir who was sitting where he had been before, staring at the door in confusion before his eyes finally flickered up to meet her own. He didn't seem too worried. He just remained calmly sitting there, seemingly waiting to see what Marinette would do next.

That thought made Marinette freeze again. What _was_ she going to do? If she just ignored Alya, would she go away? No, that didn't seem likely. Alya was stubborn. How did she even get in the house anyway? Her parents must have sent her up, so that must mean that Alya knew that she was in there.

"Marinette, I know you're in there!"

 _Well that answered that question_ , Marinette thought to herself as her heart began thudding even more erratically in her chest.

She wasn't going to go away. It sounded like she was on a mission.

Finally forcing herself to unfreeze again, Marinette leapt up off her floor and quickly grabbed Chat Noir by the wrist and pulled him up with her. He followed with an amused smirk on his face as Marinette pulled him towards her bed, trying her best to come up with some sort of plan. Her head was still a foggy mess from everything that had happened earlier, and her sudden panic at Alya's unexpected arrival certainly wasn't helping either.

"Quick, Chat, hide!" Marinette hissed at him as she began pushing against his back with all her might, trying to force him to climb up the ladder that led to her bed.

"Am I to be your dirty little secret, _purrincess_?" Chat Noir playfully purred at her.

Marinette growled in response. "Just get up there and hide!"

"Marinette?" Alya sounded confused and slightly worried now.

Cursing under her breath, Marinette shoved a giggling Chat Noir up the ladder. She was glad that at least one of them was finding this hilarious. If Alya found her with Chat Noir, it would certainly cause a lot of problems. As Rena Rouge, Alya had already entrusted Marinette with the mission of seizing Chat's miraculous. If she found out that Marinette had had plenty of ample opportunity to do so, then it would raise a lot of uncomfortable questions.

Marinette was already walking a thin and worn enough tight rope as it was. The web she had trapped herself in all those years ago was becoming increasingly more tangled. The more Marinette tried to wiggle herself free, the more ensnared she became. The more she thrashed around, the more attention she drew to herself. And soon, it wouldn't be long before the giant, poisonous spiders arrived to devour her.

Sweating and panting in panic, Marinette reached through the bars of her bed and yanked Chat Noir down so that he was lying down. He let out a muffled yelp as his face hit her cushions before Marinette quickly grabbed hold of one of her blankets and draped it over him. It was the most obvious hiding place in the world, but luckily Alya very rarely went up to her bed. They usually just stayed in the lower area of her bedroom, and from down there, it would be difficult to tell if someone was hiding up there.

"Marinette! Seriously girl, you're not dead are you?" Alya continued yelling and knocking.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Marinette yelled back, quickly running over to her bedroom door. Feeling incredibly flustered, she reached down and unlocked it before opening it. Marinette had barely opened her door an inch when Alya suddenly barged through, almost causing Marinette to lose her footing and fall down the hole and down the stairs. Luckily, Alya grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her back into her room and dragged her towards her desk.

"What on earth were you up to, girl? Why was your door locked?" Alya demanded, her eyes narrowing at her best friend suspiciously.

Marinette pulled her arm out of Alya's grasp before sticking her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt awkwardly. "I – errrr – I wanted to be left alone and I ended up falling asleep."

Her words caused Alya to look at her weirdly.

"Oh…well…who were you talking to?" Alya looked around the room as if she was expecting to see someone here, and only grew more uneasy and suspicious when she saw that no one was there.

Her hazel eyes turned back to Marinette, and she folded her arms across her chest as she continued to grip her phone in one hand. She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes even more, her glasses falling down her nose slightly as it scrunched up slightly in distrust.

"Oh – ummm – myself," Marinette quickly lied, biting her lip and looking away towards her bed where Chat Noir was currently hiding beneath her sheets and blankets.

As if sensing her eyes on him, Chat Noir quickly peered out from behind a bright pink blanket and gave her a quick, cheeky wink which caused Marinette's cheeks to immediately heat up and turn bright red. Her breath caught in her throat, and Marinette nearly choked and stumbled forward. Luckily, Alya had her back turned against Chat Noir, so all she saw was her best friend freaking out for seemingly no reason.

Chat Noir quietly snickered and hid back under the blankets while Alya stared down at Marinette with a confused, concerned and suspicious expression on her face. Once Chat Noir was safely hidden again and showing no signs of reappearing to make Marinette's life hell again, she quickly flashed Alya an awkward smile. Alya unfolded her arms and frowned as she looked Marinette up and down, scrutinising every detail of her.

Marinette tried to remain as calm as possible, but it was difficult knowing that Chat Noir was only hiding a few feet away. Not only that, but this seemed to all be just a game to him, and didn't seem to care if he got caught. But Marinette did. She very much did. It would be all over if Alya found out. She would get into so much trouble. And that would only be the start…

"Marinette? Hello? Are you okay?"

The terrifying visions that were dancing cruelly before Marinette's eyes were brushed away by the sight of Alya waving a hand in front of her face. Marinette blinked before her eyes flickered to Alya nervously.

"Are you sure you're not still sick?" Alya frowned in concern, attentively placing a hand on Marinette's forehead.

"I-I'm fine," was all Marinette could stutter, feeling more and more terrified of the situation she had found herself in.

"You don't sound it," Alya replied thoughtfully, "you're acting even weirder than usual today."

"I'm fine, like I said, I've just woken up, so I'm feeling a little disorientated," Marinette lied again.

She had hoped that when she stopped being Ladybug, all the lying would stop. But it seemed she was lying more now than she ever had done during her time as a superhero. And it had only been getting worse lately. Especially now that Alya seemed to be falling for all of those Ladybug conspiracy theories. The conspiracy theories that were technically true…

Alya stared at Marinette with narrowed eyes for a few more moments, seemingly not sure whether to believe her best friend or not. Marinette met her gaze as calmly as she could, praying that whatever Alya was looking for in her eyes, she wouldn't find it.

Thankfully, Marinette's intuitive friend seemed to decide to let the current matter drop as she relaxed and released Marinette from her intense, sceptical gaze.

However, Marinette didn't even get the chance to breathe a small sigh of relief before Alya had wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in close, holding up her phone triumphantly. Marinette squeaked as she was pressed tightly against Alya's form, struggling to breathe as her face ended up crushed against Alya's shoulder.

"Now for the reason I'm here!" Alya cried out, ignoring Marinette's attempts to wiggle free. "Girl, you will not believe what I've found!"

"It would…help…if I could…see and…breathe!" Marinette gasped out as best as she could.

"Oh right," Alya chuckled before loosening her grip on Marinette slightly, though she still kept her pinned close, making sure that she was looking at her phone.

Alya typed in her password and soon a dark and grainy looking video filled the screen. It was paused at the beginning and Marinette frowned at it in confusion, squinting to try and get a better look at the poor quality image.

It looked like some sort of dark room, however, the open door was providing just enough light to see the small figure in the corner of the room who looked like they had just come into shot. The camera was mainly pointing towards and focusing on a small object in the centre of the small, otherwise empty room. Despite it being hard to see, there was no mistaking the small object that was being held in a glass case. The butterfly brooch shone slightly in the light, and Marinette's heart sank all the way down to her feet as she almost instantly recognised the scene in front of her.

"Just watch and tell me what you think," Alya said as she pressed play.

Marinette had to resist the urge to close her eyes, but she knew that Alya would probably be watching her reactions carefully. So Marinette had no choice but to put on her best poker face. She tried to keep her mind blank. Tried to keep herself from panicking.

Where had Alya found this footage?!

Marinette hadn't even been aware that there _was_ footage of this.

All she could do was watch as the petite figure slipped further into the room. It was incredibly hard to make out the details, but it looked like the figure had something round strapped to their back. They slipped stealthily further into the room before looking around and looking back towards the door. The light from the door lit up their face, but only slightly. The image quality was still too poor and pixelated to make out too much detail other than the fact that this person had pale skin. A dark green mask covered most of their face, hiding any more potential facial detail.

Marinette continued to watch, trying to keep a straight face and not show any hint of panic. The mysterious figure then pulled the round object off their back and used it to smash their way through the glass and grab the butterfly miraculous. The video had no sound, but Marinette could still hear the alarm whirling around in her mind, almost deafening her.

The figure then ran out of shot just as the video ended.

All Marinette could do was swallow and wait to see what Alya had to say.

How in the hell did she get that footage?

As far as Marinette had been aware, she had managed to deal with all of the security cameras to make sure that she wouldn't be seen. But then again, she wasn't exactly herself during this time. It shouldn't really surprise her that she had been careless and missed one. Now it had come back to bite her. More and more spiders continued to surround her as Marinette once again became more and more entangled. The web was sticky and unforgiving. Every movement, every small effort she made to try and break free, the worse she seemed to make the situation.

"Well? What do you think?" Alya asked.

"I…I…" Words became stuck in Marinette's throat as she struggled to think of something to say.

"I know, I was speechless too." Alya sighed, completely misinterpreting Marinette's reaction.

"W-where did you get that footage?" Marinette whispered.

"Ah, well you see it looks like I now have friends in high places." Alya smirked and winked.

"Huh?"

Alya looked around before leaning in closer to Marinette. "Don't you dare ever breathe a word of this, but it looks like one the supporters of my theory that Ladybug is alive works for the DGSI, you know, the intelligence agency?"

"I-I know what it is." Marinette gulped.

"Well, the police were forced to hand this footage over to them after this mystery person broke in and stole Hawkmoth's miraculous. They were worried that it might be a new supervillain that posed a threat to France. However, when no new hero or villain showed up, this guy grew suspicious and he analysed the footage as much as he could. He leaked the information to me privately because he's convinced that I'm onto something with Ladybug being alive. Until reading my blog, he had never really thought much of it, but people are starting to realise, Marinette. The story of Ladybug being dead literally makes no sense," Alya explained in hushed, harsh whispers.

Marinette felt sick.

"Even the higher ups agree with me it seems. This agent has analysed the footage as much as he can, comparing it to old videos of Ladybug. The heights and body proportions match completely."

"B-but that's not going to prove anything, surely?" Marinette asked desperately.

Alya sighed. "You're right, it isn't. But it's something. I mean think about it. The butterfly miraculous gets stolen, but yet we never see anybody use it. Not for hero or villain work, so what would this person want with it? Unless they were instructed to get it back and take it to where it originally belonged. Because in the hands of the police, the secrets of the miraculous would be at risk."

Marinette stopped breathing.

"It doesn't look like Ladybug's typical costume, but you know what it does look like?" Alya asked.

"W-what?" Marinette squeaked.

"Carapace's," Alya answered firmly and confidently. "This video was recorded weeks before the current Carapace made his first appearance, and this person is definitely female."

Marinette's head began to spin.

"I think this video gives us all the answers we need. Ladybug is alive, and for some reason, she's not able to use her miraculous, that's why we haven't seen her. That's why both her and her miraculous are still missing. If Ladybug had died, her body would have been found, as would her miraculous. But instead, they both simply vanished," Alya explained excitedly. "Ladybug can't use her original miraculous, so instead, she used the turtle miraculous in order to take back the butterfly one. This explains everything! Something must have happened to the ladybug miraculous!"

Marinette collapsed.

"Marinette!" Alya yelped as the full weight of her friend collapsed against her.

However, Marinette could barely register anything she was saying. The world around her blurred and everything sounded muffled. Everything apart from Alya's conclusion which kept ringing in her ears like loud bells, deafening her, overwhelming her.

No.

No no no no.

Please, no!

Alya couldn't have gotten all that information from that? Could she? T-there was no solid proof. Was she rumbled? Was she going to be found out? Was this the end?

The ringing in Marinette's ears continued as she felt herself finally slowly collapse onto the floor as Alya wrapped her arms around her shoulders and waist, holding onto her tightly and shouting something incoherent. Gradually, Marinette's vision began to clear and her eyes immediately locked with the glowing, green ones that were peering at her from underneath her bed sheets. Marinette yelped and flinched back slightly, terrified that Chat Noir had figured it all out. However, his eyes only held concern as they stared at her. The only time anger flashed within them was when they would occasionally flicker towards Alya.

"Marinette?! Please tell me what's wrong?!" Alya continued to freak out. "Do I need to call an ambulance?!"

"What?! No!" Marinette shrieked as Alya's words finally helped snap her out of her petrified state.

She quickly looked away from Chat Noir, hoping that Alya wouldn't realise that she had been staring at him. Marinette then shakily tried to get back on her feet with Alya clinging onto her the entire time, seeming too terrified to let her go. Alya's hazel eyes were filled with fear and worry as she stared down at Marinette. She clenched her hands into tight fists, hoping that Alya wouldn't notice them shaking.

"I-I'm fine…I just…I haven't eaten in a while, that's all." Marinette tried to come up with the most believable excuse possible.

Alya sighed with relief, though she still sounded incredibly concerned when she spoke again. "Ugh, girl, seriously, you're going to be the death of me. You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"S-sorry," Marinette mumbled.

"And here was me thinking my theory knocked you off your feet." Alya laughed, and Marinette chuckled awkwardly in response.

"But of course all of this does beg the question…" Alya trailed off, still holding onto Marinette, making sure she didn't fall again.

Marinette could feel her knees growing weak again. "What?"

"If all this time Ladybug was able to access other miraculous, why did she never set us all straight? Why did she never let Paris know that she was okay? Something else must be stopping her…"

Marinette looked down as she felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm sure she would have her reasons."

Alya hummed in deep thought. "Yeah, but it won't be for the reasons you said the other day. There is no way Ladybug would ever willingly abandon Paris. I mean, it takes a special kind of messed up person to allow an entire city of people who loved you to believe that you were dead. I'd say doing something like that would make her more evil than Hawkmoth."

Those words…it was like Marinette had been stabbed in the chest with a jagged piece of broken glass. The shards became lodged in her chest and locked the weapon into place, ripping and tearing at all of her internal organs. She was sliced and diced before being left to bleed out on the ground.

Suddenly, it was like all the eyes of every citizen of Paris were watching her right that second. Staring at her…judging her…accusing her…she had let them down. Alya was right. She was a sick and twisted person. She was more evil than Hawkmoth. She had allowed an entire city to believe that she was dead. She had watched as they had mourned her. Any sane, caring hero would have spoken out. She should have spoken out.

But she couldn't…

"But Ladybug is not that type of person."

Alya's words interrupted Marinette's daydreaming, though it didn't stop the painful, stabbing sensation in her chest.

"What if she is?" Marinette whispered.

"No." Alya shook her head vigorously. "There's no way. Ladybug is a good person. If she could, I'm sure she would have told us all that she was okay. There has to be something major that's stopping her, like, I don't know, like she's being held captive or something?"

Marinette remained silent.

"But whatever it is, I will find out!" Alya declared. "I will help save Ladybug!"

"Y-yeah…g-great…"

"Listen, are you going to be okay on your own? I can stay if you want, but there's just so much more research that I need to do," Alya offered as she placed her phone in the pocket of her jeans and stared at Marinette with a worried expression.

"Oh – ummm – I'll be fine, don't worry about me," Marinette responded nervously.

She wanted to beg Alya to stay. She wanted Alya to stay within her sight and away from any other potential leads. She wanted to beg Alya to stop looking into this and leave well enough alone. But she feared that if she did, she would only arouse suspicion. No matter what Marinette tried to do now, she only ended up more entangled.

"Are you sure?" Alya asked.

Marinette gulped and nodded before she gasped as she unexpectedly felt Alya's hands gripping her shoulders.

"It's going to be okay you know." Alya smiled at her in reassurance. "I'm going to find Ladybug and I'm going to get her back. You've got nothing to worry about. I know what I'm doing. I will never let this rest!"

However, both girls jumped at the sound of a low growling noise.

"What the hell was that?!" Alya gasped as she frantically looked around the room.

Marinette's eyes flickered towards the glaring eyes of Chat Noir before they quickly disappeared behind the blankets again. How could Marinette have been so stupid? She was letting Alya babble on about Ladybug, almost completely forgetting that Chat Noir was in the room. Though she wasn't going to lie, Marinette was incredibly impressed by Chat Noir's self-control so far. Before, he would have attacked Alya at the first mention of her name. But now he seemed to be getting a much better handle on his temper.

"Ummm…my stomach?" Marinette lied pathetically.

Alya's head whipped back around to Marinette in disbelief. "Wow, you better get some food then, girl! But…it's strange…" Alya began looking suspiciously around her room again.

"What?"

"It didn't sound like a stomach growl…it sounded almost…familiar?" Alya began to glare in Chat Noir's general direction, causing Marinette to panic even more.

"Familiar? I don't know how a growling noise can be familiar." Marinette faked a laugh as she began pushing a startled Alya towards her bedroom door. "And you're right, I really should get something to eat, and I can imagine you're desperate to do some more research, so good luck! Illuminati confirmed and all that jazz!" Marinette continued to laugh nervously as she opened her door.

"Marinette, this is serious," Alya lightly scolded.

"Umm, yeah…sorry."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Alya narrowed her eyes at her again.

"I'm fine, now go on! You can't keep the truth from people much longer!" Marinette overenthusiastically encouraged.

" _Riiiight_." Alya raised an eyebrow at Marinette suspiciously. "I guess I'll see you at the party in a few days then since there's no school for the rest of the week? Shall I meet you here?"

"Yeah…wait…party? What party?" Marinette gasped in horror.

"It's Kim's eighteenth remember? Don't tell me you've forgotten?"

Marinette's eye twitched. "Of course I haven't!" She thought for a moment. "Where is it again?"

Alya smirked and rolled her eyes. "It's in that new club. Businesses are opening later at night again now that Chat Noir seems to have disappeared."

Marinette was too busy internally freaking out to notice Alya glancing around her room with a guarded expression.

"A club?" Marinette gulped. "Alya…I can't…"

Alya's eyes flickered back to Marinette and she smiled at her reassuringly. "Of course you can. I'll be with you the whole time. You're going to have to loosen up at some point Marinette, you can't keep locking yourself in your room for all eternity. This might help you and be good for you. Besides, Kim invited you and it would be rude to just not show up."

"Will Chloe be there?" Marinette asked nervously.

Alya sighed. "I imagine so, and if she is, we'll just stay away from her."

"But is it really safe? What if Chat Noir decides to show up? Just because he hasn't done so for a while, doesn't mean he's gone for good." Marinette tried every excuse she could think of.

Alya groaned. "Mari, I love you to death girl, but you are terrible at coming up with excuses, and there's no way I'm letting you get out of this. Everything will be fine. I promise that I will not leave your side the entire night if that makes you feel any better?"

Marinette thought for a moment. "Well…I guess, but –"

"Great!" Alya quickly interrupted. "So it's settled then. I'll meet you here at around nine, see you then!" Alya yelled as she ran down the stairs.

All Marinette could do was listen in shock as the front door to their apartment closed behind her. Unable to do nothing but stare blindly ahead, Marinette kicked her bedroom door shut before freezing in place. Everything that had just happened came crashing back down on top of Marinette. The shards of glass were still lodged in her chest and Marinette was still bleeding from Alya's words. It was too much. It was all too much.

"Princess?"

Chat Noir's voice made Marinette jump, and she gasped and quickly turned around in the direction of his voice. He had climbed down from her bed and was walking towards her, a startled and worried look on his face. His eyes widened and his pace quickened as he caught sight of the look on Marinette's face.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" His arms reached forward slightly, seemingly not knowing whether to risk grabbing hold of her or not.

However, Marinette couldn't concentrate on his words. All she could think about was what Alya had said. How she was sick and twisted. How she was evil for doing what she had done. She had let Paris down. She had cruelly deceived all of them.

But if only they understood…if only they understood her reasons.

Would they understand though? Or would they be unable to look past how their favourite hero had betrayed them? That had always been what Marinette had feared. She always thought it was best that Paris lived in ignorant bliss. Better that than to see what their hero was truly like. What she had done. What she had failed to do.

"Marinette!" Chat Noir's voice was muffled.

The spiders were closing in on her. Marinette thrashed and thrashed until the web was pulling on her so tightly that she couldn't breathe. The thin threads burned her skin, cutting into her flesh and drawing blood. The spiders approached before they leaned down and sunk their large, sharp teeth into her. All Marinette could manage was a muffled scream in response, her energy soon draining from her as she collapsed into the ally way behind Master Fu's home.

The turtle miraculous let out its final beep, a sound that now forever haunted Marinette, causing her to flinch. Her transformation gave way and Wayzz was soon released from the bracelet. It took the little green kwami a few moments to get his bearings before he gazed at Marinette in concern, not saying a word.

Marinette stared at the wooden door in front of her before slowly glancing down at her hand that was clenched into a tight fist. The shiny brooch of the butterfly miraculous stared back at her, her face just about visible in the reflection of the purple jewel. Her dead, blue eyes stared back at her.

"Marinette?" Wayzz cautiously asked. "Is everything okay? The mission was a success, wasn't it?"

Marinette said nothing as she clenched her fist around the butterfly miraculous again. Her throat felt tight, like it was closing in on itself. Her knees wobbled, her body still weak despite all of those weeks spent recovering.

It had now been five days since the funeral. Five days since _her own_ funeral. Four days since Chat Noir decided to show his true colours to the world at last and began attacking people, terrorising the city. Three days since Master Fu had deemed her well enough for service again and since the final day of Gabriel Agreste's trial. Two days since he asked her to get the butterfly miraculous back. One day since…he told her she would need to face Chat Noir again and seize his miraculous.

She could barely handle taking the butterfly miraculous from powerless civilians. She had failed against Hawkmoth. She had let Paris down…and now they thought she was dead. How could she come back and face Chat Noir? How could she reveal to Paris that she was nothing but a weak and pathetic coward? How could she fight on and continue to be a superhero without… _without Tikki?_

"It's because I'm not Tikki, isn't it?" Wayzz asked sadly as if the wise turtle kwami had just read her mind.

"It's not just that." Marinette's voice cracked as she spoke, tears burning the corner of her eyes. "I've made such a mess of _everything._ I lost to Hawkmoth, I allowed Chat Noir to become consumed by the dark side, I let Paris down, and I destroyed Tikki. I'm…I'm…" Marinette's heart leapt into her mouth as she caught sight of the skin of her arm before she quickly pulled down the sleeve of the sweatshirt Master Fu had bought for her. "I'm a hideous monster."

"It's going to be okay, Marinette," Wayzz tried to reassure her. "We can do this. You can and you will get through this, it's just going to take a bit of time and…"

"You don't understand!" Marinette screamed. "I failed as a hero! I let everyone down and I put everyone in danger! I should have followed my instincts in the beginning and never accepted the miraculous. From the very beginning it's cursed my life! My school work was suffering, I had to lie to my friends and family every day, and everyone depended on _me!_ But why me?! I'm useless! I'm a walking disaster! Now my life is ruined forever! I can't take this anymore!"

"What do you mean?" Wayzz asked worriedly.

A single tear trickled down Marinette's cheek as she looked down at the ground, her eyes slowly closing, and her expression conveying the pain of a thousand lifetimes of torment. "I can't live like this anymore."

"But Marinette, you were chosen –"

"Well then Master Fu can just un-choose me!" Marinette cried out. "There are people out there who will be better heroes than me! People who won't make the same mistakes that I did; they will succeed where I failed. Because _me_? I'm just nothing…I've lost everything…I'm nothing…" Marinette began to whisper as more tears cascaded down her cheeks.

"I can't do this anymore," Marinette repeated, this time sounding surer than ever. "Wayzz, I renounce you."

"What? No wai –"

But it was too late.

Wayzz disappeared as if he had never existed. The bright green glow of the turtle bracelet dimmed until it was nothing more than a lifeless piece of jewellery.

Shakily sighing to herself, Marinette slowly slipped the bracelet off her wrist before marching through the back door. She wasted no time in finding Master Fu who was sitting quietly in front of the Miracle Box with his eyes closed in concentration. However, they slowly opened upon Marinette bursting into the room. She strode forward with purpose before slowly placing both the turtle and the butterfly miraculous on the small wooden table between them.

Master Fu looked down at them before looking back up at Marinette with a neutral expression, already seeming to know exactly what was going on. His eyes tightened slightly, though he never said a word, simply bowing his head as Marinette found herself growing increasingly more hysterical.

"I can't do this anymore!" Marinette gasped out.

"Whatever do you mean, Marinette?" Master Fu asked calmly.

"You know exactly what I mean!" Marinette snapped, tugging at her now much shorter hair, another painful reminder of everything that had happened. "I'm not cut out for this, I never was! Continuing on, after everything that's happened…I just can't do it!"

"You're giving up on all of your responsibilities?"

Damn, Master Fu always found a way of using words that made Marinette feel even guiltier than she already did.

"How can I continue to be a hero after everything I've done? How can I continue to be a hero without…without Tikki? How can I face Chat Noir? How can I face _anybody?_ I can't handle this responsibility and I never could. All the pain I've cause…all the pain that I feel…I can't go on…I just can't…"

Master Fu stared at her for a moment. "You know, Marinette, responsibility and destiny are something you can never run away from. It will always find a way of catching up to you in the end. By taking this path, by running and hiding, you force everything to run at you much faster in order to catch up with you, so much so, that it will slam into you agonisingly. Whereas if you embrace it now, it will lessen any future pain."

"I'll take my chances," Marinette replied, trying hard not to start sobbing. "I'm sure you can find other, better heroes to replace me. I'm sure they can get you the cat miraculous back no problem. I just want to try and get on with my life…what's left of it anyway. I'm done with the lies, I'm done with magic, I'm done with Chat Noir, and I'm done being a hero! I just want to be left alone!"

Marinette's yelling echoed around the room, though Master Fu never once flinched or grew angry with her. He simply stared at her in silent acceptance, his heart aching for the broken girl in front of him.

At Master Fu's lack of reaction, Marinette finally broke down and collapsed onto the wooden floor, gasping for air as she struggled to contain her sobs.

"And this isn't a rash decision? This a decision you intend to stand by?" Master Fu asked.

"Y-yes, Master," Marinette sobbed.

"Then I thank you, Marinette. I thank you for everything you have done for me, for Paris, for the world. The sacrifices you have made will never be forgotten."

Those words only made Marinette cry harder. She buried her face in her hands, her chest aching from the sobs that were finally bursting free. The pain shredded her from the inside. Shredded her into tiny pieces, consuming all of her, leaving no cell in her body safe and untouched. The more they talked about her, the more they talked about what had happened and what she had done, the more her mind screamed and begged her to run. To run away from all of this and pretend that it never happened. Pretend that it never existed. Pretend that she was just Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Just a normal girl, with a normal life. She had no secret.

"Please just…promise me that you'll leave me alone and that I can live out the rest of my life in peace…" Marinette begged, hoping that Master Fu would grant her one final request. "I just want to forget all of this ever happened."

Master Fu took a few agonisingly long seconds to respond.

"I promise."

Marinette gasped in relief.

"But please, I must insist that you take this. I know you want to forget, but I thought she would be best with you." Master Fu turned around and reached for something before turning back towards her, walking around the table and towards the collapsed Marinette on the ground.

"What?" Marinette whimpered in confusion.

Master Fu gently took hold of her hands and lowered them away from her face so that her palms were facing upwards. He gently placed two very small objects in her hands before slowly backing away and bowing his head.

A small whimper of pain escaped Marinette's lips as she stared down at the object in her hands.

A single tear dripped down from her cheek and landed on small, dark, lifeless jewels. Her heart shattered into a million tiny pieces, and all Marinette could do was watch as her tear began seeping into the deep cracks of the broken ladybug earrings.

* * *

 **Speaking of chapters having to be cut in half, this was one of them. As always, I love to read your theories. Also, feel free to let me know what you thought of this chapter in a review. Reviews always help me out a great deal. I hope that this chapter is okay and up to my usual standard as I've not exactly been having the best week which made concentrating difficult. I'm really sorry if it isn't. I'm trying to sort myself out, but some things aren't exactly making it easy for me. But here's hoping I can get back on track *sweatdrop***

 **Also, I've finally sorted out a proper schedule for my blog. On Mondays (though this might not be a weekly thing depending on what ideas I have), I will be posting Miraculous Ladybug related content such as fan theories, fanfiction reviews etc. And on Fridays I'll be posting weekly updates about where I'm at with my writing, when to roughly expect story updates and any new ideas I have in the works. I've just posted a theory on my blog which is quite relevant to this story: will Adrien/Chat Noir switch sides? If you wanna check out that theory then head on over to my blog. The link for my blog is available on my profile.**

 **I have also published a new Miraculous Ladybug one-shot called 'Ladybug's Lullaby.' So if you like a bit of Ladrien or something short and cute, then feel free to check it out. It would mean a lot to me if you did. Okay, I'm done shamelessly plugging myself now, sorry about that. See you guys again soon.**

 **P.S. Don't steal my work. I'll always find out if you have.**


	21. New Feelings

**Yaaay, faster update! I surprised myself. I hope that you're all doing well? Thank you so much for all of your kind and amazing reviews. They really help keep me writing. It's also nice to see loads of new faces in the review section, so welcome to you guys, I'm glad that you're all enjoying the story so far. You're all so sweet and amazing to me. Also, thank you to those who have followed this story and added it to their favourites.**

* * *

 **Chapter 21: New Feelings**

" _Marinette… You can do this, Marinette… You can bring me back… Together, you can bring me back…_ "

At those words, those familiar, torturous, echoing words, Marinette yelped and gripped her hair with her fingers. Tears streamed down her cheeks before she had the time to force them back. Her throat immediately began closing up, and the guilt tore her apart, digging its claws into her chest and ripping her open, leaving her bare and vulnerable to the great storm that surrounded her. Her vision began to blur, and her head spun as if she was caught inside a powerful tornado.

" _Marinette!_ " she called out again.

Marinette wanted to answer. She wanted to help. She had tried everything, but she never got anywhere. The ladybug miraculous was broken. Destroyed forever by her own carelessness and stupidity. Why would Tikki keep crying out to her when she had been the one who had done this to her? Tikki should never want to speak to her again. Yet she kept calling out, begging for Marinette to help, to get better.

But how could she?

Ever since she had walked out of Master Fu's place on her final day as a hero, the ladybug miraculous delicately inserted into her purse, Tikki had haunted her. But over the years, her voice and presence had weakened. But now, during these past few weeks, it was almost like Tikki was getting stronger again. Her voice sounded more powerful – healthier.

Was it all in Marinette's insane and decrepit mind? Was this just her guilt talking? Or had Tikki really been reaching out to her all these years? Marinette would probably never know. It wasn't like she could tell anyone about it.

"Marinette!" another different, yet familiar voice called out to her.

This one was lower, and comforting. The voice sounded alarmed and desperate, and just as that voice had called out to her, Marinette could feel something warm wrap around her. Someone's arms perhaps? The feeling it gave her was pleasant and soothing. It was like someone had grabbed hold of her in the storm, preventing her from being swept up by the hurricane force winds that surrounded her, and tried to drag her away for all eternity.

Whoever had grabbed hold of her pulled her in close, helping to quell her uncontrollable shaking. It was like a warm blanket had been draped around her, keeping her safe and warm, once again protecting her from all of those harsh outside elements. Marinette couldn't help but nestle in closer to the source of warmth and comfort, desperate to try and catch her breath.

Tikki's voice had vanished once again as if it had never been there, further making Marinette question her sanity. Normally, she only heard Tikki's voice in her dreams, it was rare she heard her while she was awake, and this is the strongest and clearest she had ever sounded. It was like her former kwami had been floating right beside her, just like she always used to do before everything that had happened. She could almost feel the little red kwami's breath against her skin as she spoke. But as quickly as the presence had appeared, it had vanished.

As the feelings of guilt over Tikki continued to crash over her like a huge tidal wave, so did the feelings of guilt over what Alya had said. It was like Marinette was being assaulted and attacked from all angles. She was standing in the middle of no-man's land, being attacked from enemies from both sides. They shot and stabbed at her, leaving her to collapse, bleeding in the mud before they sneered down at her dying form.

Maybe that's what it would be like if everyone found out. She would be attacked from all angles, angry mobs of betrayed Parisians storming after her, lusting after her blood after everything she had put them through. Angry that she had lost to Hawkmoth and placed them all in danger. Angry that she had made them mourn for her when she was in actual fact still alive. Angry that she had allowed Chat Noir to turn to the dark side and terrorise the city for years when she could have done something about it.

Alya was right…

She _was_ evil…

That was precisely why no one could ever find out.

They would never truly understand why Marinette had to do what she did.

Was she sick and evil like Alya had suggested? Yes. But the people of Paris, her friends, her family, might never be able to see past that and see the reasoning behind Marinette's decisions. Marinette was in too deep. She had to keep running. It was too late to come out and admit the truth. No one would ever understand. They would all hate her. They would all come after her. No one would try and understand her side of things. All they would see is a selfish person who had betrayed them and let them down.

Which was exactly what she was, Marinette thought to herself, causing herself to begin shaking again.

She was a monster.

Surely the daily torture she endured over knowing that she was selfish and pathetic was punishment enough? Just like she had believed that day she had quit, Marinette knew that she never deserved to be a hero. How could a true hero do something like this? She knew that there had been a mistake when Master Fu had chosen her to be Ladybug. But at the time, becoming Ladybug was all she could do to save her friends and family. Despite growing more confident, Marinette had always had her doubts over being a hero. But Tikki had always reassured her and told her to trust herself.

But look where that had gotten Tikki…

At those thoughts, fresh tears cascaded down her cheeks like a dam inside her had burst. All her grief over Tikki, all her hatred towards herself for what she had done to her…it all came bursting free in a violent torrent of water, washing away anything that got in the way. The force of it almost knocked Marinette off her feet if it wasn't for the strange, warm sensation that held her in place.

Whatever it was that was wrapped around her, Marinette clung onto it for dear life. It was the one floating, safe object in the middle of the vast flood that Marinette had found herself in. It was the only thing keeping her upright in the now raging river. The only thing that was just about allowing her to keep her head above the water and breathe.

The more air she was able to steadily breathe, the more her vision began to clear. Her mind began to slow down gradually to a point where Marinette could finally make sense of her surroundings once again. It was like she had been trapped on a roller coaster and now the wild ride was finally slowly coming to a stop.

Now that she was back in reality again, Marinette grew increasingly aware of the strong, warm arms that were wrapped around her, holding her steady as her body continued to tremble slightly. A familiar scent filled her nose, and her eyes finally focused on the black leather that filled her field of vision. She then became aware of the sensation of something stroking her hair gently, and the steady breathing of the person she was clinging onto helped calm her down even more. Until Marinette realised just who it was that she had been clinging onto this whole time.

"C-Chat?" Marinette stuttered, feeling her cheeks grow warm at the thought of having been embracing him this whole time while she fell to pieces.

Memories of the past few hours came flooding back to her. Chat Noir breaking into her room, arguing with him and realising that something had happened between him and Hawkmoth that had caused him to switch sides. How they had nearly…

At that strange and bizarre memory, Marinette quickly pushed herself out of Chat Noir's arms in fear, panic and embarrassment. Chat Noir was startled by her abrupt actions, but nonetheless released his grip on her and stared at her with wide eyes, watching her every movement as if she was a bomb whose explosion was imminent. To be honest, he wouldn't be too far off the mark with that thought. Marinette really needed to try and get better control of herself and stop breaking down on Chat Noir like this. What if she aroused his suspicions?

Marinette opened her mouth and then closed it again, unsure of what to say, quickly wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweatshirt to eliminate all traces of her tears. Chat Noir seemed just as lost for words as they both continued to stare at each other before awkwardly looking away, his cheeks turning slightly pink. Marinette had to admit that he looked weirdly adorable.

Freezing in place, Marinette nearly slapped herself. What was she thinking? Sure, she wanted to help Chat Noir and get to the bottom of what happened, but that didn't mean she could ever be friends with him again, let alone find him _adorable._ Where had that even come from? Was it because he was starting to look and act like the old Chat Noir that she used to know again? But even back then she didn't find him cute. She had always considered him to be a fairly handsome and nice guy, but she had been too busy drooling over Adrien to really pay attention to Chat Noir. She knew that he had a crush on Ladybug back then – a crush on _her._ But Marinette had always known that she could never return those feelings.

So what had happened between her and Chat Noir before Alya had interrupted them? Marinette wasn't entirely sure. The moment showed all the tell-tale signs of Chat Noir leaning in to maybe kiss her. More importantly, had she wanted him to do it? Had she been leaning in as well?

It seemed so ridiculous, it almost felt like Marinette had dreamed up the whole moment between them. Why would Chat Noir want to kiss her? Why would she want to kiss _him?_ Marinette must have her wires crossed somewhere, and in her panic and confusion, she had miss-read the situation.

Yeah…that had to be the reason.

Bashfully, Marinette's blue eyes flickered up to glance at Chat Noir again, not noticing that she had begun to awkwardly look away from him while she became lost in her thoughts again. Her eyes were instantly met by his green, cat-like ones which were watching her with worry and confusion. His hands were hovering in the air slightly, as if he wasn't sure whether to reach out and touch her. There were no signs on his face that he was interested in making a move on her, or that he was thinking about that weird situation before Alya had arrived.

Her conclusion caused Marinette to sigh with relief: she had imagined the whole thing.

"A-are you okay?" Chat Noir cautiously asked, breaking the awkward silence between them.

Marinette looked away again, rubbing her arm up and down while chewing on her lower lip. "Y-yeah, thanks. Sorry for…for what just happened…"

Marinette could feel tears prickling the corners of her eyes again as she thought about how weak and pathetic she must look to him. This wasn't the first time she had broken down on him. Though Marinette wished she knew why she always did this in front of Chat Noir. It was like he was the only person in the world who could breach her defences. Like he was the only person that she could expose the madness within to, despite how much the conscious part of her brain didn't want her to. But yet her subconscious deemed Chat Noir the perfect person for her to reveal her inner turmoil to. She just wished that she knew why.

Chat Noir's face softened at Marinette's words and he finally seemed to grow the courage to reach out and touch her, bringing his hand up to cradle her chin in his hand and gently force her to look up at him again.

"Don't be," he soothed, "I don't mind; I've been through worse breakdowns. Trust me," he added cryptically.

"Over what happened that night?" Marinette couldn't help but ask before she could stop and think about it.

Chat Noir's eyes flashed briefly, however, he remained calm and simply lowered his hand and looked away.

"Y-yeah," he admitted before falling silent again.

He didn't look up again either, and Marinette knew that was probably all she was going to get out of him for now, but it was a start. Her mind was already reeling. So…he was affected by what happened that night just as much as she was? That thought almost knocked the air out of her. All this time, Marinette had thought that Chat Noir was a heartless monster who didn't care about what happened that night.

Was that why Chat Noir had been acting the way he had all these years? Now that Marinette thought about it, the way Chat Noir often behaved was often no different from how she behaved. Of course she didn't go around terrorising the city, but she could sympathise with his frustrations with the world, which she now often felt completely out of sync with. She'd seen him crack and break down a few times, just like she had done with him. It was almost as if they were re-living the same experiences. It was uncanny. And now, it looked like they were.

"Why does Alya have to meddle?"

The sound of Chat Noir growling snapped Marinette out of her deep thoughts.

"What?"

"Alya. Why does that girl have to keep dragging up painful memories? She's the sick and twisted one, giving people false hope that L-Ladybug is still alive and out there somewhere. And now she's trying to force you to go along with it, refusing to listen to reason. She's going to upset and piss off a lot of people…including me," Chat Noir growled again, glaring at Marinette's bedroom door where Alya had left.

Chat Noir's eyes were filled with a raging fire, and Marinette looked down to see that his hands were now clenched into tight fists, trembling slightly as he continued to bare his teeth.

"S-so…y-you don't believe her?" Marinette asked cautiously, watching his facial expression carefully.

Chat Noir's head whipped back around to face her with a disgusted expression. "Of course not!" he exclaimed. "I was there! I saw the whole thing!" His trembling increased. "Ladybug's…L-Ladybug's gone! I watched it happened!" Chat Noir's voice began to shake, and Marinette gasped as she could have sworn that she saw tears in his eyes again.

" _I let it happen_ ," he added in a heartbroken whisper.

Before she could stop herself, Marinette had closed the distance between them again and delicately wrapped her arms around Chat Noir, burying her face in his chest. He seemed to sound…almost genuinely haunted about what had happened. What was going on? Marinette was desperate to know what had happened that night, why Chat Noir had done what he had done, but she knew that she couldn't push him. He had already opened up more than she could have ever imagined. However, that didn't quell her constant need to know the truth. Was this how Alya was feeling right now? Was Chat Noir just as determined to have no one ever find out the truth just like Marinette was?

"I'm sorry," Marinette whispered, "I had no idea," she went on to half-lie.

Was it her imagination or did Chat Noir sound guilty about what happened? Maybe…he really didn't want her to get hurt that night. But why? And what did this mean for Marinette now? Should she reveal that Ladybug had survived that night to ease Chat Noir's guilt?

No.

That would be stupid.

It would be suicidal.

There was still always the chance that Chat Noir really had turned against Ladybug, and that he had been after her miraculous that night. If she revealed herself, he could want to fight her again, and this time, he would more than easily take her down. He could despise her even more for hiding out all this time, making everyone believe that she was dead.

But it wasn't her fault. It was Paris that had chosen to believe that she was dead without giving her the chance to recover and maybe return. They had all just assumed. What choice did Marinette have but to go along with it? Especially since it _was_ technically the truth – Tikki was _gone._ The ladybug miraculous was broken beyond repair.

Of course there was also always the high risk that he wouldn't believe her and think she was sick or insane. That could spell even more trouble.

Marinette was done being Ladybug.

She had meant every word she said to Master Fu.

All she wanted to do now was hopefully find out what had caused Chat Noir to turn against her. That was it. She wouldn't involve herself any more than that. Once she knew the truth, maybe she could finally move on with what was left of her life. It was better that Ladybug stayed dead. It wasn't technically a lie that she had died that night. That part of Marinette had died and was now lost forever.

Chat Noir was grieving for a girl who didn't exist – a girl he didn't truly know. Once Marinette had helped him, he could leave her alone and move on with his life.

However, the thought of pushing Chat Noir out of her life once again sent a painful jolt through her chest. It was like she had just been punched. It almost knocked the air out of her. The strange sensation was so painful and frightening that she instinctively found herself clinging onto Chat Noir even tighter before she could stop herself.

Chat Noir remained still at first, however, he soon wrapped his arms around her again and buried his face in her hair. Marinette hated to admit it, but she almost liked the sensation. It felt strange…to have someone holding her together like this and her holding them together in return. For the first time in a long time, she felt completely safe and content in Chat Noir's presence.

He…he almost made her feel better. He helped calm the storm that raged inside her mind, and Marinette could almost think and breathe normally now that he was around. Like there was a break in the clouds and Marinette could finally bask in the sun once again. The wind had calmed to a light, tropical breeze, leaving Marinette feeling safe and warm. The birds were chirping and singing again after the seemingly endless howling wind and pounding rain had vanished.

Quietly sighing to herself, Marinette pressed her ear against the steady beating of Chat Noir's heart, and it was almost like his organ was working for both of them now. His heart was pumping new life into her again, replacing her dead and decaying one. It was like Marinette now suddenly had a new energy inside her. It felt strange and foreign. But Marinette knew that she never wanted to let go. She didn't want to be separated from Chat Noir's warmth and security.

The longer they stood there together, the more Chat Noir's shaking calmed down until he was completely still and relaxed. But still, Marinette couldn't bring herself to let go of him. He had been so much calmer lately. So much like his old self. Marinette wanted to cling onto that with as much strength as she could muster. It was like she was holding him in place.

It felt like he was clinging onto her tighter too. One hand was wrapped around her waist while the other was wrapped around her upper back as he buried his face even more in her hair. She felt him gently intake some air through his nose before he stiffened. Startled, Marinette blushed at how weirdly intimate this all felt, and, worried that she was making Chat Noir uncomfortable, quickly pulled away, her arms hanging stiffly at her sides and her eyes wide as saucers. She stood like a soldier standing to attention, in a state of complete shock over what she had just done.

Chat Noir, however, was too busy looking away to notice. His eyes held pain, and whatever else he was feeling right now, he was successfully hiding it from Marinette. She frowned at him, trying to read his face, wondering why he had stiffened like he had. Had she gone too far? Was she freaking him out?

 _Say something, Marinette,_ she screamed at herself.

"I…I should probably get going…sorry for crashing in on you like this," Chat Noir mumbled sadly, angling his body towards the door that led onto Marinette's rooftop balcony.

"Wait!" Marinette quickly pleaded desperately, reaching out to grab him by the arm. "You don't have to go!"

Chat Noir turned around and looked startled and shocked at first, though his expression soon morphed into a smirk as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I-I mean…" Marinette immediately began stuttering, her cheeks turning a delicate shade of pink. "I-I'm guessing you haven't eaten in a while? W-why don't I make us something to eat?"

What was she doing? Why was she trying to make excuses for Chat Noir to stay? What was she thinking? She should be alone. She should always be left on her own. She hated having other people around her now, so what was so different about Chat Noir all of a sudden?

"Awww does my princess want to feed a stray?" Chat Noir teased before huffing as Marinette playfully elbowed him in the stomach.

"Well if you want to turn down the opportunity of free food and the opportunity to bask in my great company, then that's your loss," Marinette giggled.

What was this feeling? Why did she feel so weightless? Did…did she just make a playful joke that wasn't just cynical sarcasm? Was she…getting playful? Was she…having fun?

All of these concepts felt so foreign to her now. It was like her first time experiencing them all over again. She had almost forgotten what those feelings felt like. She had been so used to feeling empty and void of any feelings of happiness, motivation and fun. Now she almost felt weightless.

Chat Noir jokingly gasped. "Meouch! There's the feisty, fiery Marinette I know."

Marinette winced and Chat Noir looked at her oddly as she did this.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Chat asked worriedly.

Marinette plastered on a fake smile. "I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? C'mon, let's go get some food," she said a little too quickly, grabbing hold of Chat Noir's wrist and pulling him towards her bedroom door. She opened it and pulled them both downstairs and into the kitchen before she let go of Chat Noir's wrist and began looking through the cupboards for something to eat. All the while, she could feel Chat Noir staring at her intensely, though she didn't dare look up to meet his eyes.

Finally, Marinette decided to just make them both some sandwiches, knowing that was probably all that their stomachs could handle. She really didn't want to go through the hassle of making soup again, but still wanted something that was fairly light.

"What if your parents come up?" Chat Noir asked.

"They won't," Marinette replied as she began slicing up the fresh bread that her father had made for them earlier in the day, "they're pretty rushed off their feet today."

"What are you making?"

Marinette jumped at the sound of Chat Noir's voice suddenly behind her. She had been so focused on not cutting herself with the knife that she hadn't registered the sound of Chat Noir walking towards her. She turned around to playfully glare at him, however, she froze once she realised just how close he was standing to her. That strange weightless feeling began to consume her again, and all she could do was stare at him. At the moment, Chat Noir was too busy staring down at and fiddling with the ingredients in front of her.

It was for the first time ever that Marinette began to notice just how much Chat Noir had changed and grown over the years. He was a lot taller now, while she had barely grown at all, staying fairly short just like her mother. He had lost some of the roundness in his face, however Marinette wasn't sure if that was down to his face maturing or him not eating properly. His blond hair was thicker and wilder now. His eyes, while still the same, held a lot more haunted years within them now. The crazed look in his eye that she had been used to seeing these past few weeks seemed to be slowly fading away. The bright, playful sparkle that used to be in them all those years ago appeared to be returning once again, albeit it was currently still dull, but it was there.

Upon closer examination, Marinette began to realise just how handsome Chat Noir actually was. He had always been pretty easy on the eyes. All the girls of Paris had certainly fawned over him when they both worked together as heroes, but Marinette had never really paid attention. Despite the stuff he seemed to have been through, and his apparent inability to look after himself, he had still retained his good looks. Yet weirdly, there was also something strangely familiar about him. Though Marinette was sure that it was just in her imagination.

Though it did make Marinette wonder who was beneath that mask. She knew that she wasn't supposed to know, but it didn't stop her contemplating. Sometimes it was easy to forget that behind the mask and costume was just an ordinary boy. Chat Noir had mentioned that he didn't have a family, and Marinette couldn't help but wonder why that was. Was his family something to do with why Chat Noir had switched sides?

"I know I'm devilishly handsome, princess, but it's still rude to stare," Chat Noir's devious chuckle immediately snapped Marinette out of her thoughts.

She could feel her cheeks turning bright red, and she quickly looked away feeling flustered. She glared down at the counter, too embarrassed to meet Chat Noir's obviously amused and teasing gaze.

"I was not staring!" Marinette spluttered as she slapped some cheese out of Chat Noir's hand.

"Suuuurrreeee you weren't," Chat Noir laughed. "You were totally drooling over my good looks."

Marinette couldn't help but wipe her chin self-consciously, but of course there was nothing there.

"I was not drooling over your good looks, if that's what you call them." Marinette stuck her tongue out at him before trying to focus on making the sandwiches again rather than the sudden, rapid beating of her heart and the heat that was filling her face.

"I'll have you know, this face has made me millions," Chat Noir chuckled, pouting at her.

Marinette rolled her eyes. "If you wanna be alone with yourself, all you have to do is ask."

Chat Noir playfully gasped. "Are you implying that I'm full of myself?"

"Implying? I'm practically screaming it at you," Marinette laughed, her mind becoming lost in the wonderful, carefree situation.

She was _laughing._ She was genuinely _laughing._

Chat Noir of all people was making her _laugh._

What was going on?

"Well then why were you staring at me?" Chat Noir laughed as he began juggling tomatoes, sticking his tongue out adorably in concentration as he did so.

"I…" Marinette's hand almost slipped and cut herself with the knife. "I was…just thinking."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Well, what were you thinking about?" Chat asked curiously. "My face _has_ been known to be _inspurrational_."

Marinette groaned and rolled her eyes again.

Chat Noir chuckled. "No, but seriously, what were you thinking about?"

"Oh just…things."

"Things?"

Marinette bit her lip, her thousands of bottled up questions threatening to burst free.

"Chat?"

"That's me," Chat Noir chuckled as he continued to juggle.

"What…what happened to your family?"

The sound of the tomatoes falling to the floor echoed around the kitchen. Marinette watched in worry as Chat Noir froze, his eyes becoming wide and haunted as he stared straight ahead at nothing in particular. However, his eyes soon set ablaze in anger and he quickly looked down, clenching his hands into tight fists.

"Too many questions," he responded as if he had just tasted something incredibly bitter.

The air in the room immediately became heavy, and words became stuck in Marinette's throat. The only sound in the room was the sound of Marinette cutting ingredients up on the chopping board. She gripped the knife tightly, trying to focus one hundred percent on what was in front of her instead of the slightly intimidating presence of Chat Noir next to her. She was terrified that her question might cause him to snap and revert back to his crazy side. She sincerely hoped that she hadn't just blown all of his progress. Her and her big mouth. She shouldn't have said anything. But she was just too damn nosey. Marinette wanted to hit herself.

"Anyway, you never answered _my_ question. What are you making?" Chat Noir suddenly asked, sounding like nothing had just happened.

"Oh – umm – sandwiches," Marinette replied quickly, deciding it was best to let the subject drop for now.

At least Chat Noir seemed to be keeping his cool and hadn't gone back into deranged mode. He seemed more like his old self than ever today. But rather than that thought upsetting her, it actually made Marinette feel almost…happy.

"Since we're still without a microwave." Marinette shot Chat Noir a playful accusatory glare.

Chat Noir's cheeks turned red. "Oh, right – umm – yeah, I'm sorry about that." He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "I _will_ buy you a new one, I promise."

"It's alright, there's no need. I just told my parents that I did it by accident," Marinette explained as she began to finish making the sandwiches.

"I still feel bad." Chat sighed.

"Awww, don't," Marinette chuckled, "it was quite funny." She finished placing the last sandwich on the plate. "There – done."

"Looks like the storm finally cleared," Chat Noir announced as he stared out the window.

Marinette turned to check. "Huh…yeah."

"Let's eat on your balcony," Chat suggested cheerfully.

"What?" Marinette gasped. "Oh, I don't know…"

"Aww come on," Chat Noir begged, pouting at her like a desperate overexcited child, "It's been so long since I've been out during the day and it would be great to do it with a friend."

"A…a friend…?" Marinette wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"Errr…yeah…" Chat Noir replied awkwardly. "I'm sorry! I was too forward! I got overexcited and I wasn't thinking!"

Marinette chuckled as she picked up the plate of food. "It's okay…let's go then… _friend_."

Chat Noir's face lit up and he smiled softly at her before leading the way. Marinette followed him up the stairs and watched as he looked around her room in confusion. She almost bumped into him when he stopped still in his tracks in the centre of her room. Luckily, Marinette managed to catch the plate of sandwiches in time before she dropped them.

"Chat?" Marinette asked worriedly before she followed his gaze towards her desk.

"What's over there?" he abruptly asked.

"My desk?" Marinette responded, confused.

"No, I meant what's in it?"

Marinette's heart sank all the way down to her stomach like a heavy anchor. All of a sudden it was like all of her insides were made of lead, and she instantly began sweating nervously. What was he talking about? Why was he asking what was in her desk? Did he know? Was he testing her to see if she would lie? But if he knew what was in it, why was he acting all nice to her beforehand? Had he just been playing with her and Marinette had fallen for all of it? But if he knew, then when did he find out? As far as she knew, he hadn't gone through her desk while he was here today.

"Just – errr – just stationary and stuff," Marinette squeaked out her lie. "Why?"

Chat Noir frowned. "It's just, I know this is going to sound weird, but I keep getting funny feelings when I'm in your room sometimes, and the source of it seems to be your desk."

"Oh," Marinette laughed out nervously, "how strange. I have no idea why."

Was it possible?

Chat Noir shrugged. "Maybe it's nothing, but it sure is weird. Do you mind if I have a look? It keeps worrying me."

He began walking towards her desk and Marinette immediately jumped in front of him.

"NO!" Marinette yelled.

Chat Noir stared at her with wide eyes.

"Errrr…" Marinette quickly shrank back in fear. "It's just…there's private stuff in there!"

"Like a diary and stuff?" Chat Noir raised an eyebrow.

"Y-yeah…amongst… _other things._ "

Chat Noir's face turned bright red. "Oh…right…sorry."

He then turned around and quickly marched up towards Marinette's bed and out of her balcony door faster than she had ever seen him leave that way before. Meanwhile, Marinette breathed a huge sigh of relief. She would make herself feel embarrassed and awkward over potentially revealing the truth any day of the week. That was way too close. She would seriously have to try and do something about that. She was stupid enough not to in the first place. There weren't enough defibrillators in the world for the amount of heart attacks she had been having lately.

Glancing at her desk one last time before taking a deep breath, Marinette followed Chat Noir out onto her balcony to see him already lounging in one of her sun chairs, traces of blush still slightly visible on his face. The sun was now setting over Paris, giving the city a beautiful orange glow that Marinette hadn't enjoyed or appreciated in a long time. She sat down on the free seat next to Chat Noir and began nibbling on one of the sandwiches, offering the plate to Chat Noir, which he took.

"I forgot how beautiful it could be out here sometimes," Marinette breathed.

"What do you mean?" Chat Noir's head whipped around to look at her in shock. "You mean you don't come up here anymore?"

"Not really," Marinette admitted sadly, "I don't really get out of the house much now."

Chat Noir sighed. "No, me neither."

"But you're out as Chat Noir all the time?" Marinette pointed out.

"Yeah, as _Chat Noir,_ " he explained, "I don't dare go out as my normal self. I'd rather receive the judgemental and fearful looks that Chat Noir gets rather than the ones…" He quickly stopped himself. "Let's just say the city of Paris won't take as kindly to the real me."

Marinette stared at him, her mouth slightly agape in shock. "So you don't go outside as your civilian self?"

"Nope." He took a bite of his sandwich as he stared at the sky.

"But…why would Paris hate you? I can't think of any one individual that the city would hate?"

Chat Noir chuckled. "They just would, and I wouldn't blame them."

"You mean you don't know for sure?"

Chat Noir remained silent.

Marinette gasped. "Then how can you know unless you try?"

"You wouldn't say that if you knew." Chat Noir sighed.

"Knew what?"

"My true identity."

"I'm sure that's not true," Marinette tried to comfort him, but Chat Noir was already shaking his head before she had finished speaking.

"Anyway, what's your excuse? Why do you stay cooped up all the time?"

"I…I'm hiding."

"Hiding?" Chat Noir looked at her, almost as if he didn't believe her. "Hiding from what?"

Marinette shrugged apathetically as she began picking at her sandwich. "From the world I guess. That's all I'm good at these days: running and hiding."

"Now I know that that's not true," Chat Noir said, "I remember you used to be an amazing designer."

Marinette burst out laughing, though it was fake and almost deranged sounding. Chat Noir stared at her in confusion before he glanced down into her room and looked back up at her again. Marinette could see that he was connecting the dots in his mind. Chat Noir had been in her room before many years ago. He would have seen all of her designs, her mannequins and all of the material that she would leave laying around. Now all of that stuff was gone.

"Key words there being ' _used to be.'"_ Marinette sighed.

"That's a load of bull, Marinette, I'm sure you're still amazing. I always thought you'd be applying for the big fashion colleges by now."

Marinette looked away and bit her lip.

Chat Noir gasped. "But that was always your dream!"

Marinette quickly turned back around to stare at him in confusion and shock. "How do you know that?"

"I…" Chat Noir froze and began stuttering weirdly. "I just always sort of figured…because of how talented you were…"

Marinette frowned at him. "There's no point in me applying to university. I haven't created anything new in years. I just…I just can't. I can't think. I can't imagine anymore. I'm no good. I have no samples, no portfolio to send them because everything is years old and awful. I'm not good enough, I never have been. What big fashion company would hire someone like me anyway?"

Chat Noir looked away with a thoughtful expression on his face.

However, Marinette turned her attention back towards the sunset, hoping that Chat Noir would drop the subject now. She hated talking about fashion now. It only reminded her of how inadequate she was. She couldn't bring herself to design anymore, so how the hell was she going to cope doing it at university? They would see her work for what it really was. Ever since she was a little girl, she had always dreamed of working for Gabriel Agreste. However, those dreams quickly died that fateful night just like every other part of her.

The two of them continued to sit in peaceful silence, just watching the sunset until it faded away behind the old, tall buildings. Marinette sighed, strangely longing for this evening to last just a little longer. She didn't want Chat Noir to leave, as much as she hated to admit it. She was beginning to find his company quite enjoyable, especially because of how much he was behaving like his old self. She had spent so many years hating him that she had almost forgotten how much she had liked and admired him at one point. She had forgotten just how much of a dear friend he was.

Finally, Marinette sighed and broke the silence. "I always hated how I could never fully watch the sun set from here. All of the other buildings always get in the way."

Chat Noir was silent for a moment before he smiled and stood up, holding his hand out to Marinette.

"Chat?" Marinette asked in confusion.

"Grab on," he said, reaching out to pull her up.

"What are you doing?" Marinette panicked as he pulled her up before pulling her against his back, grabbing hold of her legs and hoisting her up so that he was carrying her on his back.

"Chat!" she yelped, thrashing around slightly. "What are you doing?!"

"Taking you on an adventure," he responded happily.

"Don't you dare! What if someone sees you?!"

Chat Noir chuckled. "You worry too much."

Marinette let out a small scream as he took off, jumping from her balcony all the way to the rooftop of the building opposite her house, jumping over roads and cars as he continued on, hopping from one building to the next. She clung on as tightly as she could, burying her face in his shoulder, too terrified to look and be reminded of the very thing that she used to enjoy doing as Ladybug. She gritted her teeth and tried to force the memories out of her mind. Her throat began to close up, and her heart began to pound once again.

All the while, she could feel the familiar breeze blowing through her hair as Chat Noir jumped from one building to the next, making sure to keep a tight grip on her. The breeze against her skin felt just like it always did: comforting and freeing. It felt so amazing and familiar that Marinette couldn't resist taking a peak at the city she used to love exploring and protecting.

She very slowly opened one eye and then the other, staring in awe at how little the city had changed over the years. It was still magical, still romantic, and still historically beautiful. A beauty that no other city in the world could capture. A uniqueness that had always called to Marinette and made her feel at home.

Soon, Marinette had raised her head to enjoy the view some more. Her breathing began to calm, as did her heart. The feeling of running through the city, instead of being a painful reminder, it was like she had never left. It was like she had never stopped. Things were just as they were.

Marinette angled her face towards the breeze, closing her eyes peacefully again and savouring the moment that she had long forgotten and abandoned. The weight pressing against her chest lifted again, blown away by the breeze and the speed of which they were moving through the city.

However, the moment didn't last nearly as long as Marinette hoped it would. Her eyes snapped open as she felt Chat Noir land, only to stand still this time. She looked around, dazed and confused, the wind more powerful this time as it blew through her hair. A view of Paris surrounded her, the sun setting just over the horizon, bathing the city in its warm, final glow of the day.

"See, that wasn't so bad," Chat Noir chuckled, releasing his grip on her so that Marinette could slowly slide down his body and onto the metal ground beneath them.

That's when Marinette finally registered where they both were. She instantly gasped and ran forward, clinging onto the railings of the balcony of the Eiffel Tower, and stared towards the sunset, squinting her eyes as she tried to take in the splendour before her.

Chat Noir simply stood back, staying where he was, though Marinette could feel his eyes watching her.

Feelings of awe immediately began to fill her. She had forgotten just how beautiful and magnificent the world could be. She had locked herself away for so long that it almost felt like she had just awoke from a long coma, and was only now just seeing everything again after years of endless darkness.

"Oh, Chat…thank you!" Marinette exclaimed. "I haven't been up here in years!"

Chat Noir walked up from behind her and stood next to her, taking in the view with a look of melancholy on his face. He didn't smile, he just simply stared, wrapping his fingers around the railing before he looked down, closed his eyes and shrugged. Marinette watched him as he opened his eyes again and continued to stare down at the vast drop beneath them, not even glancing up at the view once.

"This was…was…Ladybug's favourite place. I…I thought you might like it as well," Chat Noir struggled to explain. "It's a nice place to come and watch the sun set."

Marinette froze. He remembered? He cared enough to take her here, despite how much emotional turmoil it put him through? Maybe Chat Noir wasn't totally selfish and heartless like she had thought. He…he really was still a good person underneath. Hawkmoth must have found a way to twist him and warp him into the villain who had tried to attack her that night and steal her miraculous. Chat Noir wasn't the bad guy. At least…he wasn't the bad guy anymore.

For the first time in a long time, Marinette smiled a genuine, warm smile that filled her body with a pleasant heat that helped melt away the ice that had formed inside her. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she reached up slightly to give Chat Noir a quick kiss on the cheek.

Chat froze at her actions, reaching up with one of his hands to rub the spot where Marinette had just kissed him.

"Thank you, Kitty," Marinette whispered as she wrapped her arms around one of his arms and leaned her head against his shoulder, watching as the sun finally set over the horizon, allowing the darkness of night to surround them.

"Y-you're welcome," Chat Noir mumbled before once again staring down at the sheer drop below them, though he soon looked up again and chuckled as Marinette began to yawn.

"I think it's best we head back."

"Awww," Marinette moaned.

"I know, I know, but we can always come back another night," Chat Noir laughed as he bent down slightly to allow Marinette to climb onto his back again. This time she did it without hesitation.

"I'll hold you to that," Marinette responded sleepily, feeling the most relaxed she had in years.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Marinette buried her face in Chat Noir's neck, breathing in his scent as he took off back towards her apartment. Though Marinette tried to fight it, she couldn't resist closing her eyes, the feeling of flying through the air lulling her to sleep. The run back didn't seem to take nearly as long as the run there, and it wasn't long before Marinette felt warm air hit her face as Chat Noir slowed down and climbed down into Marinette's bedroom. He gently unwrapped her arms from around him, and she felt herself being delicately laid against the soft sheets of her bed.

"Thank you, Chat," Marinette mumbled, nearly asleep.

"No," Chat Noir whispered, and Marinette could have sworn she felt his lips brush again her cheek, "thank _you._ "

But Marinette was already quickly falling into the most peaceful, dreamless sleep she had experienced in a long time. The whole time, she clung onto Chat Noir's wrist as he sat next to her, both of them completely unaware of the shadowy figure watching them from the other side of her bedroom window.

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 **Dun dun duuun. Uh oh, what does this mean, guys? Who was watching them? Great to see Marinette and Chat Noir getting along now more, I bet? Phew, this chapter ended up being super long. 8000 words. Yikes.**

 **As always, feel free to let me know your thoughts and opinions on the story so far in a review; it always helps me out. I hope that you all enjoy the rest of your week. I'm not too sure when my next update will be as I've just received some rather upsetting news, so future updates at the moment will depend on how things go. I apologise if this chapter's quality has suffered as a result. I'll try and keep you updated on my blog about updates and what's going on. Anyway, for now, I'll see you again soon.**


	22. Bizarre Behaviour

**Hey everyone and welcome back! Luckily I managed to write and update…yeah I shocked myself that I managed to pull through and get it done. But hey, I'm not complaining. It was a slug, but I did it. I think it helps that I had such an overwhelmingly awesome response to the last chapter! See? Reviews really do make a difference hahaha. But seriously, I cannot thank you guys enough. I really can't believe how much you all seemed to enjoy the last chapter. It means a lot to me. We also hit over 300 reviews…which…I just…asdfghjkl. Thank you!**

* * *

 **Chapter 22: Bizarre Behaviour**

No.

She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

She just…couldn't.

There was no way.

Her eyes must be playing tricks on her.

That had to be the only explanation.

But no matter how many times she blinked, no matter how many times she rubbed her eyes or tried to squint through the window, wondering if the reflections in the glass were maybe causing her to see things, the scene before her didn't change. The longer she stared, the more her fingers dug into the bricks of the building she clung to, until her fingers began to cramp under the intense pressure. Her heart leapt into her mouth, and her stomach dropped.

Surely not…

There…there was no way…

She had her suspicions when she had been in Marinette's room earlier that day. But she had desperately hoped that she had been wrong. Chat Noir had been there. He had been hiding somewhere in Marinette's room the whole time she was there. That's why Marinette had taken forever to let her in. That's why Marinette had been acting so strange while she was there. It was why Marinette couldn't wait to get rid of her.

But she didn't want to believe that it was true.

The growl she heard was unmistakable. She had heard that growl directed at her a million times. She would know it anywhere. Chat Noir had been there. He had been watching and listening. But surely that was impossible? She trusted Marinette. There was no way that Marinette would be foolish enough to hang around Chat Noir and keep him as some sort of secret. There was no way that Marinette would betray Rena Rouge…betray the mission…betray Paris' heroes.

She couldn't believe it. She _wouldn't_ believe it.

Rena Rouge squeezed her eyes tightly shut again before opening them, once again trying to take in the sight of Marinette curled up in bed, her hand tightly wrapped around Chat Noir's as he sat next to her sleeping form, staring down at her with a small smile on his face. His green eyes were glistening slightly as he stared down at her, and Rena Rouge had never seen him look or act this way before. At least, not after everything that had happened.

Was…was this part of Marinette's plan? Was this her way of trying to lure him in or something? But…she didn't need to. He had already been weirdly obsessed with her. Surely by now, Marinette had been given plenty of opportunities to steal Chat Noir's miraculous? That's why Rena Rouge had come here tonight – to check on Marinette and see how she was doing. Because the fox hero had honestly never suspected it would take this long. With the way Chat Noir constantly followed her around, Rena Rouge had thought this task would be a breeze for Marinette.

Had she expected too much? Marinette had been…ill…for a while. Maybe the task was too much for her. That thought had caused Rena Rouge to grow worried. Maybe she had expected too much of Marinette; she was just a civilian after all. Marinette had no experience of hero work or helping heroes. To expect Marinette to steal a miraculous that even Carapace, Queen Bee, and Rena Rouge herself couldn't get hold of…was that really fair?

Worried and feeling guilty, Rena Rouge had quickly transformed, long before her patrol of the city was due to begin, and that's when she had caught sight of them. Chat Noir, gliding through the city with Marinette on his back, both of them heading back towards the Dupain-Cheng bakery.

The fox hero couldn't believe it. What was Marinette doing? Did she have a death wish? At first, Rena Rouge was terrified that Chat Noir had kidnapped her, but it very soon became clear that whatever was going on, Marinette was a willing participant. Rena Rouge had wanted nothing more than to leap towards them and rip Marinette out of Chat Noir's insane clutches. However, she couldn't resist watching them and remaining unseen. She wanted to see what was going on. She wanted to try and figure out what Marinette or Chat Noir were playing at.

She had watched as Chat Noir brought Marinette back home from wherever they had been, watched as he had gently tucked her into bed and kissed her on the cheek, holding her hand as she slowly drifted off. Was it Rena Rouge's imagination, or did it almost look like Marinette and Chat Noir were developing some sort of…bond? They almost looked like some sort of couple!

Rena Rouge recoiled slightly in disgust.

No.

Surely not.

Surely Marinette would never do such a thing. Surely Marinette wouldn't be stupid enough to fall for Chat Noir. How could she? All her life, all she had ever known was Adrien, and then after that, she had been too ill to even think about things such as love and forming relationships.

Marinette had been terrified of Chat Noir. There was definitely the unmistakable look of pure fear on her face when they had faced against Chat Noir that day in the alley before the stampede. Marinette had been screaming and fighting back, determined not to let Chat Noir anywhere near her, let alone take her away.

So what had changed?

Why was Marinette now so…comfortable around him? She wasn't putting up much of a fight when Chat Noir had been carrying her through the city. In fact, she happily clung to him, resting her head against his shoulder. She clung to him even now in her sleep.

And what had Chat Noir so transfixed by Marinette?

Rena Rouge had thought it was strange and bizarre since the beginning, but she rarely had time to question it after she decided to use it to her advantage. Why would his obsession matter when Marinette could easily take advantage of it and steal his ring while his guard was down? After that, he would be powerless to do anything.

But now, Rena Rouge really was starting to question it. Was he planning on hurting her? Did he have some sick and twisted purpose in store for her?

Whatever was going on, Rena Rouge knew that it couldn't be good.

However, the fox hero didn't get long to sit and contemplate before movement in Marinette's room caught her attention again. She watched as Chat Noir once again leaned down and brushed a stray strand of dark hair out of Marinette's face before tenderly placing a kiss on her cheek.

Rena Rouge's eyes widened. There _was_ something going on. Were the two of them…together? Their body language certainly made it look that way. But how? When? Why?

Rena Rouge wanted to hit herself. She should have kept a better eye on things. She should have looked after Marinette, not just as a superhero, but as her friend. What had she been thinking letting her get involved in her conflict with Chat Noir? What had she been thinking encouraging her to get close to him? Now it had all ended in disaster. Whatever it was Chat Noir had wanted out of her, he was either getting or nearly going to get it. It was a good job that Rena Rouge had decided to check in before it was completely too late.

The fox hero had to repress a groan. How could Marinette be so stupid?

No…she quickly stopped that thought in its tracks. Marinette was ill, that had been very much clear for a long time. Chat Noir was taking advantage of her. Whatever he wanted, he was using Marinette's vulnerability to get to it. Those thoughts almost made Rena Rouge see red and burst into Marinette's room to knock his head off. How could he be so sick…so cruel…?

How could he do this to Marinette? To her best friend? How could she have let this happen?

Whatever was going on, Rena Rouge had to do something.

Growling, she snapped her attention back towards Chat Noir, who was now slowly crawling across Marinette's bed and up towards the door that lead onto her balcony. He quickly slipped out, and Rena Rouge pushed herself away from the wall slightly to watch as Chat Noir stood in the middle of the balcony for a few moments, staring up at the full moon in the sky. His face was completely neutral and unreadable, but it wasn't long before he sighed and took his baton off his belt and extended it, pushing himself away from the building and out into the night air.

No. Rena Rouge wasn't going to let him get away. She couldn't let him get away.

Unhooking her flute from her belt, she launched herself towards him, tackling the unsuspecting Chat Noir in mid-air. Chat Noir yelped, but quickly growled, immediately realising what was going on. Rena Rouge had intended to push them both to the ground, but Chat Noir quickly spun them around, and the fox hero cried out in pain as her back painfully collided with the cobbled street below them.

Chat Noir kept her pinned down, however, Rena Rouge soon managed to yank her legs up, and, ignoring the intense pain traveling down the back of her body, kicked Chat Noir in the stomach, sending him flying backwards.

"So, someone let the cat out at last," Rena Rouge managed to growl out as she forced herself to stand up. Her back was screaming at her, but she tried her best to ignore it. "I've been wondering where you've been."

Chat Noir said nothing as he slowly walked towards her again before coming to a stop a few feet away, glaring at her. The street was quiet and deserted, with tall buildings hanging over them at each side, and only a dim street light a few metres away provided them with light. Chat Noir's eyes glowed ominously in the dark as they stared directly at Rena Rouge, almost making her shiver in fear. He wasn't taunting her like he usually did. In fact, he looked fed up which caught Rena Rouge off guard. She held her flute in front of her defensively, waiting for Chat Noir to make the first move like he always did, but instead, he simply continued to stand there, as if waiting for her to get bored and move out of the way.

But Rena Rouge wasn't going to allow this. She was here for a fight. She was finally going to take Chat Noir's miraculous and end his reign of terror over the city. People were only now just beginning to feel safe again since he disappeared. A lot of people were now able to go out at night without fear of Chat Noir attacking them. People had thought that he had given up. That he had finally gotten tired of terrorising the city, or that he had somehow been defeated.

But now Rena Rouge knew the truth. It was because he was busy with whatever it was he wanted with Marinette.

Well she wasn't going to let him get away with it.

"What's the matter?" Rena Rouge taunted. "Cat got your tongue?"

Chat Noir sighed and folded his arms. "Pathetic. I don't have time for this."

"Busy are we?" Rena Rouge continued to yell at him, growing more and more impatient with his bizarre behaviour.

Chat Noir frowned. "None of your business."

The fox hero smirked. "Is that so?"

"Just get out of my way!" Chat Noir snapped, taking Rena Rouge by surprise.

Why was he acting like this? Normally, Chat Noir wouldn't be able to resist the opportunity of a fight. Any other time, he would have attacked her by now, and they would be battling until he got bored and escaped. That was how their nightly battles used to go. It was a song and dance routine that Rena Rouge had long gotten used to. So for Chat Noir to now suddenly be completely and entirely disinterested was something new and totally strange.

It had to be some kind of trick. There was no doubt in Rena Rouge's mind that he was up to something sinister. There was no good left in him. Something about Ladybug's disappearance changed something within him. It made Rena Rouge wonder…if Chat Noir knew more about that night than he was letting on. Did he know some sort of secret? Rena Rouge's eyes widened the more she began to think about it. Did…did he know what really happened to Ladybug that night?

Since Chat Noir seemed to be almost acting sane tonight, maybe this would be the only opportunity that Rena Rouge would get to ask him. But she knew that she would have to do it carefully. She had no idea how insane Chat Noir still was. He seemed to be acting almost normal and rational right now, but that didn't guarantee the fact that he wouldn't change at the flip of a coin. And of course, he had already heard herself as Alya asking questions and probing into what really happened to Ladybug. She also needed to protect her identity, otherwise it would be game over. But she really needed to try and take advantage of this opportunity.

"Did you have a personality transplant while you were gone or something?" Rena Rouge tried to bait him for answers.

Chat Noir said nothing.

"Because you sure are acting different," she noted, "normally you wouldn't be able to resist sinking your claws into me by now."

"Don't tempt me," Chat Noir hissed, "now leave me alone."

"You know that I can't do that," Rena Rouge sighed. "You know that it's my job to take back your miraculous."

The former feline hero smirked. "Yet you never succeed."

Rena Rouge stared at him, examining every inch of his eyes and face, trying to read him, but it was like he was a book written in an ancient, forgotten language. His eyes, while still holding some of the crazed expressions she was used to seeing, were now also looking fed up, and sad. However, at the same time, it was almost like there was a healthy light just beginning to glow inside them again. A light that Rena Rouge had not seen in Chat Noir's eyes in years. It looked and felt incredibly odd, but Rena Rouge dared to let it bring her hope. Hope that maybe Chat Noir could be reasoned with. Hope that maybe it was possible to make Chat realise what he was doing. That whatever was going on in his head, things didn't have to be this way.

But the first step in all of this, was figuring out what had happened to him, and figuring out what had caused him to change.

"What happened to you, Chat?"

His face dropped at her question. Rena Rouge tried to contain her smile as she realised she'd hit a nerve with him and might be getting somewhere, especially when he remained still and didn't try to attack her. Something was definitely going on. Why was he being so patient? None of this was adding up, and Rena Rouge was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"You were once such a great hero," she tried to sound as calm and as understanding as possible, lowering her flute to show that she did indeed just want to talk to him. "Everyone admired you and looked up to you. What happened to you, Chat? What made you change?"

Chat Noir growled and looked away.

"So you want to play psychologist now?" he huffed as he folded his arms across his chest, a look of disgust and annoyance on his face. "Like you'd ever understand."

"Try me," Rena Rouge offered, taking a slow and cautious step forward.

This was the most that she had ever gotten out of him. He was talking to her. He was actually partly answering her questions. Sure he wasn't giving anything away yet, but he wasn't attacking her, and he was letting her ask questions. It was great start. Rena Rouge just hoped that she could keep this up.

Chat Noir finally looked at her again and chuckled. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing."

"What?" Rena Rouge replied innocently, once again trying to remain as calm as possible. "I'm trying to help you, Chat. I'm not you're enemy, I never have been. The only reason we need to take your miraculous is to save you from yourself. You were once such a good hero. You can be like that again."

Chat Noir chuckled again and closed his eyes, looking down slightly. "It's too late."

"No…it's not," Rena Rouge tried to reassure him. She paused for a moment and took a deep breath before she spoke her next words, bracing herself for what could possibly happen next. "Think really hard about this…is this what Ladybug would have really wanted?"

There was a deafening silence.

Rena Rouge didn't dare move, she didn't dare blink, and she didn't dare breathe. At those words, it was like the whole world fell silent, anxiously waiting and listening for Chat Noir's reply, bracing itself for the possible carnage that was about to follow.

Chat Noir's eyes remained hidden by the shadow of his wild blond hair. All Rena Rouge could do was wait. She knew it was a gamble to ask him such a question, but it needed to be done. Especially since Chat Noir seemed to be suddenly able to be reasonable. He hadn't attacked her so far, so why not take the chance?

"No."

Rena Rouge took a sharp intake of breath and her eyes widened. She was almost sure that she had just imagined that sound – that word. But she had seen Chat Noir's lips move ever so slightly. He remained as still as a statue, his face neutral and unreadable, and his eyes still hidden. The world around them continued to remain still and silent, as if they were the only two living creatures in existence.

The fox hero was too shocked to speak. It had been the answer she wanted, but not the answer she expected. However, despite her shock, she knew that she couldn't afford to let her guard down.

"This isn't what she would have wanted," Chat Noir whispered so lowly, that Rena Rouge almost didn't catch it.

She took a deep breath. "I know you loved Ladybug. Anyone with eyes can see how much you cared about her. So that's why you doing this doesn't make any sense," Rena Rouge did her best to calmly explain and reason with him, "Ladybug wouldn't have wanted this. She would have wanted you to continue to be a hero, she would have wanted you to continue serving Paris and its citizens. I'm sure she deeply cared about you too, Chat, and she wouldn't want to see you this way –"

Rena Rouge cut herself off as Chat Noir began laughing hysterically, bending over and clutching his stomach as he did so. All Rena Rouge could do was watch him in confusion, her hand tightening around her flute, ready for if he decided to try anything. He was beginning to sound like the insane Chat Noir they had all grown accustomed to.

Finally, Chat Noir stopped laughing enough to speak, though he still sounded hysterical. "No…no she didn't. In fact…she wouldn't be surprised to see me this way."

"What are you talking about?" Rena Rouge narrowed her eyes.

"Ladybug _hated_ me," Chat Noir chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye. " _Hated_ me."

"I'm sure that's not true…" Rena Rouge tried to comfort him, however she was cut off again.

"You know nothing." Chat shook his head. "You know nothing about what really happened that night."

Rena Rouge gasped…could it be…that she was right? There _was_ more to that night than what people knew.

"W-what are you talking about?" Her voice began to shake with nerves.

Chat Noir laughed again, sounding more and more unhinged. Rena Rouge took a step back as she could almost feel some sort of energy radiating off him. Something felt incredibly wrong all of a sudden. The fox hero wasn't sure what it was, but her instincts were telling her that she was in an incredibly dangerous situation. There was something about Chat Noir right now that looked and sounded more twisted than it normally did. It was almost like he was possessed. His body became almost limp in the way that he moved, like he was a puppet with invisible strings pulling him from the air. It was like he was some sort of rag doll. A manic smile appeared on his face, but this time, Rena Rouge held her ground despite her growing fear.

"I don't have to answer to you!" Chat Noir snapped.

"If something happened that night then I need to know!" Rena Rouge yelled back desperately. She cursed herself afterwards, but there was no taking the desperate sound in her voice back now.

"Why so desperate?" Chat Noir demanded.

"Because you literally just confirmed to me that something happened that night that we don't know about. Is it…is it to do with Ladybug?"

"Not really."

Rena Rouge frowned in confusion before she narrowed her eyes at Chat Noir suspiciously.

"Is it something…to do with you?"

Chat Noir didn't say anything as he straightened up and glared at her.

"What…what did you do, Chat?" Rena Rouge demanded

Again, he remained silent.

"You did something, didn't you?" Rena Rouge gasped in horror, the guilty look on Chat Noir's face telling her everything that she needed to know.

Chat Noir continued to remain silent. His lips were pressed in a firm line, and his eyes were narrowed. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists, and his pupils expanded to a point where his irises were no longer visible. He was beginning to look more animal than human, and it quickly made Rena Rouge realise that maybe there was no hope for Chat Noir. That maybe all of this was just a waste of time. Because if Chat Noir really had done something that night, and it had contributed to whatever had happened to Ladybug, then Rena Rouge refused to help him.

Anger began to rush to the surface inside her again, like liquid lava rising up inside an active volcano. Chat Noir was a sick, twisted villain who was beyond help. Was he just playing with her right now? Was him not attacking her from the beginning just to lull her into a false sense of security? Was all of this just some sort of evil game?

Rena Rouge's mind instantly went back to Marinette. Her best friend was ill and vulnerable; she couldn't let Chat Noir take advantage of that. She would protect Marinette, no matter the cost. But just what did Chat Noir want with her? That was what was confusing and worrying the young hero the most.

"What's gotten into you, Chat?" Rena Rouge asked, narrowing her eyes.

Once again, Chat Noir remained silent.

"It seems ever since a dark haired girl appeared in your life, you've been acting a little differently," Rena Rouge remarked suspiciously.

One of Chat Noir's ears twitched and his eyes narrowed.

"Marinette's her name, right?"

"Don't," Chat Noir growled in warning.

"You seem to have taken quite a shine to her," Rena Rouge carried on prodding, "I've never seen you act like this around anyone before. This is a whole new level of crazy, even for you."

Chat Noir glared menacingly, a low growl rumbling deep in his chest.

"But I'm warning you now," the fox hero threatened darkly as she took a few steps towards him, "you are to stay away from Marinette. I don't know what you want with her, but whatever it is, I'm not going to let it happen."

"Are you threatening me?" Chat Noir chuckled, tilting his head to one side.

"I mean it, Chat Noir!" Rena Rouge yelled. "If you don't stay away from Marinette, I'll…I'll…"

"You'll what?" Chat Noir laughed. "Steal my miraculous? Arrest me? Kill me? Good luck."

"You don't know what I'm capable of," Rena Rouge tried to threaten again, grabbing hold of her flute with both hands and standing in a fighting position.

She was tired of Chat Noir running circles around them. This time, she would do everything that she could to get his miraculous. He would no longer be a threat to Paris. He would no longer be a threat to Marinette.

"No one tells me what to do," Chat Noir snapped, "especially where Marinette is concerned."

"What do you want with her anyway?" Rena Rouge demanded. "I saw you with her earlier. What were you doing?"

Chat Noir immediately went silent again.

"The way you were with her…" Rena Rouge said more to herself than to her opponent. She frowned as she briefly stared down at the ground, deep in thought before gasping and looking back up to gaze at Chat Noir in horror and disgust. "You…you haven't developed some sort of feelings towards her…have you?"

It couldn't be love, Rena Rouge reasoned with herself as she watched Chat Noir's expression carefully. At this point, she was willing to bet that Chat Noir was incapable of such a thing. It might explain his weird obsession with her: he'd developed an unhealthy infatuation with her.

But why? What was so special about Marinette? As far as Rena Rouge knew, Chat Noir and Marinette had never interacted much in the past. He had saved her from akumas a few times, but that was pretty much it. The confusion and mystery surrounding this situation was so frustrating. Rena Rouge felt like she was missing one huge, obvious puzzle piece that, when inserted into the right place, everything would suddenly make sense. It really was beginning to feel like that something obvious was staring her in the face. One huge clue that would cause everything to make sense. But Rena Rouge just couldn't seem to spot it.

"Either way, I don't care," Rena Rouge yelled at him, "because I'm not going to let you anywhere near her again!"

In response to Rena Rouge's threat, Chat Noir snapped his teeth together, and before the fox hero had time to react, Chat Noir had charged towards her in a black blur of rage, grabbing hold of her and pinning her against the nearest wall.

Rena Rouge gasped, blinking in shock before shaking her head to get her mind to focus.

However, before Rena Rouge could wiggle her way free, Chat Noir had raised a hand up and pressed it against her throat. She gasped for air as he began to put pressure against her neck, snarling at her as he kept her pinned against the wall. She stared into his wild eyes in fear; she had never seen him look this unstable and demented before. His eyes were wild and wide as they stared down at her, and Rena Rouge didn't think she had ever felt more afraid and more incensed than she did in that moment.

"If anyone is going to stay away from Marinette," Chat Noir hissed through clenched teeth, "it's going to be you."

He raised his other hand, and Rena Rouge squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself.

"Rena!" a familiar voice cried out.

Rena Rouge's eyes snapped open just in time to watch as Chat Noir's eyes snapped closed as he grunted in pain, his whole body flying forward, colliding with the wall next to Rena Rouge. She gasped and looked up to see Carapace and Queen Bee running towards them, Carapace's shell rolling across the ground after having just hit Chat Noir on the back of the head.

"Are you alright?!" Carapace gasped out, running towards her and pulling her away from the disorientated heap that was Chat Noir on the ground.

"Much better now that you guys are here," the fox hero smirked.

"What did you think you were doing taking Chat Noir on alone?!" Queen Bee sneered. "You should have called us!"

"I had a personal score to settle," Rena Rouge growled out as she gazed back down at Chat Noir who was just beginning to shakily pick himself up off the ground.

He reached around and touched the back of his head before pulling his hand back around to look at it. It didn't appear that he was bleeding, despite how hard Carapace's shell had struck him.

"The cavalry arrives at last," Chat Noir grunted as he finally stood up straight again.

"Tonight's the night, Chat Noir," Rena Rouge announced as she stood side by side with her partners, "tonight's the night we take back your miraculous."

"Is that so?" Chat Noir chuckled.

Rena Rouge, Carapace and Queen Bee wasted no time in charging towards him. Chat Noir merely smirked and extended his baton before spinning it around and tripping both Queen Bee and Carapace up, sending them both flying across the street. Rena Rouge, however, was ready, and leapt over the metal staff, instantly diving towards Chat Noir's hand.

Growling, Chat Noir quickly swung his baton around again and held it up in defence. Rena Rouge crashed into it, her stomach taking the full force of the impact, making her feel sick, though she did her best to ignore the pain. She kept reaching for Chat Noir's ring, keeping her eyes obsessively on the prize. She couldn't let him beat them tonight. She had to take his miraculous back. Marinette's life could be depending on it. However, Chat Noir always managed to keep his hand just out of her reach, laughing at her feeble attempts to duck and dive around his baton in order to get to it.

Growing frustrated, Rena Rouge reached around for her flute before striking Chat Noir across the face with it. He hissed in pain and stumbled backwards, his hold on his baton weakening enough for Rena Rouge to knock it out of the way. She grabbed hold of his wrist and quickly twisted it behind Chat Noir's back, immobilising him. His ring was right there. So tantalisingly close. Rena Rouge's fingers tingled as she reached for it, ready to pull it off his finger and finally end all of this once and for all. Her heart was in her mouth, and her eyes were firmly glued on it when all of a sudden, Chat Noir kicked himself off the ground, back-flipping over Rena Rouge's head, and yanking his arm out of her grip in the process.

Rena Rouge growled loudly in frustration, but just as she spun around to attack him again, her vision suddenly blurred as something hard and metallic struck her on the temple. The fox hero yelped as she staggered to the side, just about managing to keep her balance. Pain exploded on the side of her head, sending shockwaves throughout her entire body.

"You're really testing my patience tonight," Chat Noir snarled like a wild animal before Rena Rouge once again felt something collide with her nose. Something warm began to trickle down from her nose and dripped onto the ground beneath her.

The fox hero barely had time to register what was going on when she felt her legs get knocked out from underneath her, her body colliding painfully with the ground. Luckily she managed to keep her head up, saving herself from most likely being knocked out by the force of the impact. The rest of her body screamed in pain, aching and throbbing in levels of agony that Rena Rouge had never thought possible.

Gasping in horror, Rena Rouge felt herself be picked up off the ground by her necklace, the cold metal digging into the skin of her neck, once again causing her to grunt in pain. Her vision finally cleared, revealing a smiling Chat Noir looking down at her, his hand locked around her miraculous as he picked her up off the ground by it.

"Let's find out _your_ real identity instead," Chat Noir laughed as he pulled harder on the fox tail necklace, causing Rena Rouge to scream and grab hold of his hand to try and push him off, her necklace so close to being ripped away from her.

Just as Rena Rouge became certain that Chat Noir was going to manage ripping her miraculous away from her, a green and yellow blur glided in front of her vision, knocking Chat Noir away from her. The fox hero let out a shaky breath she didn't realise she was holding, clutching at her stomach and her head as she continued to sit in a crouched position, trying to get her bearings. She could hear Chat Noir fighting Carapace and Queen Bee not too far from her.

Her head continued to pound, and her vision continued to occasionally blur. The world kept feeling like it was tilting to one side, causing Rena Rouge to almost collapse completely onto the ground. Fighting off the sensation, the fox hero grabbed her flute. She couldn't pass out. She couldn't give into the pain. She couldn't let Chat Noir win. She had to do this for Paris. She had to do this for Marinette. She had to do this for _Ladybug._

Shakily, Rena Rouge got to her feet with her flute clasped tightly in her hands. She turned towards the action only to see Chat Noir easily taking down her partners. Queen Bee looked to be in a pretty bad way. She swung her spinning-top towards Chat Noir, only for him to wrap the wire around his baton and yank her forward before swinging her around in the air above him.

Queen Bee yelped as he flung her away from him, the bee hero coming to an abrupt stop as she collided with a lamppost. The sickening _clang_ noise as her head collided with the metal pole echoed down the otherwise empty Parisian street.

Carapace yelled out incoherently in response, running towards Chat Noir with his shield held protectively in front of him. Chat Noir swung at him, though Carapace managed to block each and every hit, but was unable to get closer to him. Growling in annoyance, Chat Noir instead pointed his baton towards Carapace and extended it. The metal baton pushed against the turtle hero's shield, propelling him backwards.

Seeing red, Rena Rouge had had enough.

This ended tonight.

She was going to make sure it did.

And if she had to fight dirty, then that's what she would do.

Spinning her flute between her fingers, the fox hero then pressed it against her lips and began to play a tune. She could feel the power flowing through her and through the wooden instrument in her hand. The image she wanted to project filled her mind as a glowing orange ball was produced by the end of the flute.

Rena Rouge pulled her lips away before flinging the glowing light in Chat Noir's direction.

"Mirage!" Rena Rouge cried out, and her heart stopped in her chest as the image began to form.

Meanwhile, Chat Noir and Carapace continued to fight, seemingly unaware of what she had just done.

"How could you, Chat Noir?" a sobbing voice filled the empty street.

Both Chat Noir and Carapace froze and turned to look at the illusion that was now walking towards them. Her red suit was torn and the exposed skin was covered in blood. She walked with a limp, her arms wrapped around her torso in pain as tears streamed down her face. Her dark hair was messy, wild and matted with blood.

A tear trickled down Rena Rouge's cheek as she watched her own grotesque creation limp away from her and towards Chat Noir. Chat immediately went limp, collapsing to his knees on the ground as he was unable to take his eyes off the sight of the broken and injured Ladybug limping towards him.

"You could have saved me that night," Ladybug sobbed, wobbling slightly as she nearly collapsed.

"I tried to!" Chat Noir screamed as he began clutching and pulling at his hair. "This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real!"

Rena Rouge's eyes widened at Chat Noir's words.

"None of this was meant to happen! You were never meant to get hurt!" Chat Noir pleaded, beginning to choke on his own sobs.

"I thought you loved me, Kitty," Ladybug gasped out, reaching towards him with both arms.

"I did! _I do!_ " Chat Noir screamed.

"Then why are you going after Marinette?" Ladybug asked, sounding heartbroken.

"I…I…" Chat Noir stuttered. "No! This isn't real! THIS ISN'T REAL!"

Chat Noir began to shake his head vigorously, still clutching his hair. He began to back away, causing Rena Rouge to panic, thinking he was going to flee.

"Carapace, now!" Rena Rouge ordered.

Carapace hesitated for a second, looking slightly guilty as he lunged forward to grab hold of the screaming and crying Chat Noir. He managed to grab his wrist before Chat Noir shook himself free and began growling and snarling again. He kept shaking his head, his hands trembling before the vibrations began to spread throughout his entire body.

Carapace instinctively took a step back in alarm, as did Queen Bee and Rena Rouge.

The illusion of Ladybug disappeared, giving Rena Rouge a full view of Chat Noir. His whole body continued to shake as he panted and twitched. Her eyes widened as she had never seen this kind of behaviour before. She didn't dare give out any orders, she didn't dare try and approach him. She remained frozen in terror as Chat Noir began screaming.

"MY LADY!" Chat Noir howled in pain before he raised his fists above his head and slammed them back down onto the ground again.

The whole street around them began to violently shake. The three heroes lost their balance as the ground beneath them began to rumble like a powerful earthquake. Car alarms were set off, and water pipes burst, sending jets of water gushing to the surface. Rena Rouge's eyes widened as giant cracks began to appear in the ground, travelling from Chat Noir's fists towards her.

The ground beneath her was ripped apart, and Rena Rouge's screams echoed through the night air as she lost her balance, falling into the black abyss below.

* * *

 **Well things certainly got intense in that chapter. And guess what? I had to split this chapter in half. Honestly at this point, this story is going to end up being 100 chapters long. I hope this chapter is ok as I hate writing action scenes; they're incredibly hard to write. But I hope it all made sense and that I did an alright job. It always looks and flows so much better in my head.**

 **Anyway I'll stop with the annoying paranoid ramblings now. As always, thank you so much for reading and I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter. Please feel free to let me know your thoughts in a review as reviews always help me out a lot. I hope that you all have a nice week and I'll see you all again soon.**


	23. Writing On The Wall

**Welcome back, guys! It was seriously like fate was conspiring against me to stop me from releasing this chapter. I don't know if that's a bad omen or not. I'll explain those fun antics on my blog on Friday. But anyway, thank you so much for all of your awesome reviews on the last chapter! It really means a lot to me. I also can't believe that this story now has over 600 followers! My brain stopped working as soon as I noticed that. I really can't believe it, thank you so much! It's this kind of support that helps me keep writing.**

 **Also, stop panicking, guys. The whole 'this story might end up being 100 chapters long' thing was just a joke ahahaha. There's no way I'd ever let a story be that long as I think it's a bit much. I was being sarcastic due to the amount of chapters I'm having to split in half lately.**

* * *

 **Chapter 23: Writing On The Wall**

As she fell down into the earth that had opened up beneath her, Rena Rouge's stomach lurched forward, and her heart leapt into her mouth. Her mind became a scrambled mess of confusion and panic, and her thick auburn hair whipped around her face, making it difficult to see the opening in the ground above her. The fox hero yelped as she felt her body begin to slam against the tight, narrow walls of the fissure, scraping and bruising her skin underneath her orange and white suit.

Snapping out of her state of shock, Rena Rouge extended her arms and grabbed hold of the rocky walls, slowing down her fall to an eventual stop. The ground around her continued to roar and shake, making her feel dizzy and disorientated. She didn't know which way was up, or which way was down. She panted breathlessly as she tried to get her bearings, her hands burning from the friction of her falling body weight, and her head still throbbed from when Chat Noir had struck her earlier, though she did her best to ignore it.

What on earth was happening?

Did…did Chat Noir do this?

It certainly looked that way. All of a sudden, the former feline hero had just completely lost it, screaming into the night before slamming his fists against the ground, causing the street around them to crumble and shake. Since when could Chat Noir use his powers like that? Something was seriously wrong somewhere. Was Chat Noir's insanity starting to affect his powers? Had he learnt some new tricks with his miraculous?

But Rena Rouge didn't have time to contemplate that. She needed to get out of there. She had to make sure that Carapace and Queen Bee were okay. She had to make sure that everyone on the street was okay. She had to capture Chat Noir and seize his miraculous. He was obviously becoming way too dangerous and unhinged. She needed to get him before he had a chance to escape.

The shaking suddenly came to a stop, though the ground still occasionally continued to crumble from all of the chaos. Rena Rouge coughed as she accidentally inhaled some dust and dirt. She still wasn't sure which way was up and which way was down. Pitch blackness surrounded her, and Rena Rouge couldn't even make out her hand pressed against the wall next to her face. Pressing her foot against the wall and leaning all of her weight against the opposite shoulder, Rena Rouge felt for her ponytail in the darkness. Soon, she could feel it draped down her back. That had to mean that the surface was above her and that her feet were facing down.

Grunting, Rena Rouge began to climb back up the crack in the ground blindly. Every now and again, her foot would slip, causing her heart to leap into her mouth in panic. But luckily the fissure in the earth she had fallen down was narrow enough that she could catch herself quickly enough before she fell too far. It was a long, arduous climb, and Rena Rouge soon began to pick up the pace in worry, caring less about slipping and losing her grip.

She sighed with relief when she began to see what looked like the dark sky above. There was no longer any glow from the street lights. Just a few tiny stars, barely visible in the sky that acted as Rena Rouge's guide. But finally, her hand reached the surface and she pulled herself up and out of the giant crack that had appeared in the middle of the narrow road.

That's when Rena Rouge gasped at the sight that greeted her on the surface.

Car alarms were blaring as some of them had been turned over, with windows smashed and dents in the metal. The ground had opened up in a variety of places, some holes larger than others. Water gushed out of the ground from the broken water pipes like great geysers, but luckily, Rena Rouge was sure that she couldn't smell any gas leaking out from anywhere. House and store alarms also blared, with some buildings now having cracks in the brickwork, and a few apartment and store windows had also been smashed.

Curious and frightened people began to flock towards the windows, peering down onto the street below to see what had happened. Some lampposts were bent at odd angles, and it looked like the whole neighbourhood was now without power as phone and powerlines had collapsed in the street. Sparks flew out of some of them, but luckily nothing seemed to have caught fire.

Upon registering all of the damage around her, Rena Rouge began looking frantically around for her partners. She spotted Queen Bee first who was clinging to the lamppost that Chat Noir had thrown her against, trembling slightly while her blue eyes were wide with fear as she stared down at the damage below her.

Just as the fox hero began to panic at not being able to see Carapace anywhere, he suddenly emerged from under an overturned car, his shield protecting him from any serious harm. He too looked around in a state of complete shock and worry. As soon as his brown eyes met Rena Rouge's, they both ran towards each other, each of them looking the other over, checking for any possible injuries before they grabbed each other's hands and continued to look around.

No one seemed to dare say a word. In fact, no one _knew_ what to say. This was completely unprecedented. As Rena Rouge continued to look around, it finally dawned on her that Chat Noir was nowhere to be seen. The ground beneath where he had been standing was completely mangled and smashed up to a point it looked like a meteorite had hit it. Looking around at all of the damage, you would think that was exactly what had happened. The three heroes were speechless as they all continued to look around.

They had no idea that Chat Noir had been capable of causing such damage.

Queen Bee finally seemed to snap out of her frozen state, sliding down the lamppost back down onto the ground again. She slowly drifted towards them, the three of them standing together, unable to take their eyes off all of the damage that surrounded them. It all felt incredible surreal. Surreal and terrifying.

"What…the hell…was THAT?!" Queen Bee shrieked, finally breaking the silence between them.

"I… I don't know…" was all Rena Rouge could whisper in shock.

"Where's Chat Noir gone?" Queen Bee asked, looking around more frantically, her body poised and ready for battle again.

"I don't know," Rena Rouge repeated her previous answer, gazing down at the ground.

It was like the cogs within her mind had become jammed. Her miraculous beeped, but she once again ignored it. She was struggling to process what exactly had happened. Everything was just too much to comprehend. But more importantly, she had allowed Chat Noir to get away _again._ He could be anywhere by now. Who knows how long it had been since he took off.

"I'm pretty sure I saw him flee a while ago," Carapace said, sounding like he was deep in thought.

"Any ideas where he went?" Rena Rouge forced herself to snap out of her shocked state.

Carapace shook his head slowly.

"Damn," Rena Rouge growled as she clenched her hand into a tight fist.

Tonight they had gotten closer to taking his miraculous than they ever had before. Rena Rouge had also never been so close to maybe getting some form of truth out of him than she was tonight. Chat Noir had something to do with Ladybug's disappearance. The fox hero was sure of it. His actions tonight told Rena Rouge all that she needed to know. If she had just managed to take his miraculous back, she might have been able to interrogate the man behind the mask. Maybe once he was made helpless, he would have finally spilled everything. It could have been the break in the case that Rena Rouge had been waiting for.

"We should go find him!" Rena Rouge yelled, ready to take off before Carapace grabbed her by the arm, holding her in place as he frowned at her.

"No," he replied flatly, causing Rena Rouge's eyes to widen at his tone.

Queen Bee huffed. "That psycho is probably long gone by now. You're about to transform back at any minute, plus we should probably see if anyone in the neighbourhood needs our help."

"But –" Rena Rouge was about to protest when Carapace interrupted her.

"Queen Bee's right Rena, besides, the last thing we want to be doing is antagonising Chat Noir in the state he's currently in." He shot Rena Rouge an accusatory glare to which she narrowed her eyes at him in response, confused as to why he was suddenly sounding so sharp with her.

"Let's go," Queen Bee ordered before darting off.

Rena Rouge was about to sulkily follow before she felt Carapace grip her wrist again, preventing her from taking off anywhere. She turned around to look at him in confusion before snatching her wrist out of his grip. Carapace was staring at her seriously and worriedly.

What on earth had gotten into him? Why was he behaving this way? Why was he suddenly acting as if she had done something wrong?

"What?" Rena Rouge snapped, not liking the way Carapace was treating her at this moment.

Carapace sighed before taking a deep breath. "Why do you always have to provoke him?" he asked, sounding both worried and frustrated.

Rena Rouge's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"Using your illusion powers like that," Carapace explained, "you know that it sends Chat Noir crazy and is often detrimental to the mission."

"Oh I'm sorry," the fox hero gasped out sarcastically, "but I could have sworn that I saw you getting your ass kicked by him. A simple thank you would suffice for potentially saving your life."

Carapace took another deep breath. "And I am grateful to you for helping me, but did you have to be so…so…" Carapace trailed off, biting his lip and looking away guiltily.

"Go on," Rena Rouge urged, folding her arms over her chest, while narrowing her eyes at him, "spit it out."

"Cruel," Carapace finally said.

" _Cruel?!_ " Rena Rouge repeated, seething in anger. "What would you have done in my situation?! It was the only thing I could think of that could possibly distract him! I was trying to save you! I was trying to save Paris and complete our mission! I was trying to save Marinette!"

"Marinette?" Carapace frowned in confusion. "What does Marinette have to do with all of this?"

Rena Rouge sighed as she rubbed her forehead with her fingers in frustration. "From when Master Fu told us to use her as _bait,_ " she sneered the final word.

"And I'm guessing that hasn't exactly gone to plan?" Carapace sighed.

"I thought that Marinette could handle it. I thought she would be able to get it over and done with quickly," Rena Rouge explained. "I was wrong."

"I knew that this whole thing would be a bad idea."

"I was so sure by the way that Chat Noir was acting that he wouldn't hurt her," Rena Rouge growled out.

"What?! He's… He's not…?"

"I don't think so!" Rena Rouge quickly answered. "But he's obsession with her certainly hasn't disappeared. That's what I found out tonight. I went to try and visit Marinette to see how things were going, as I honestly thought she would be able to manage the task. Only that's when I saw Chat Noir carrying her around the city, the two of them looking like they were having a cosy time before they hung out in her room."

"Well from now on, using Marinette is out of the question!" Carapace demanded. "I don't know what we were thinking letting Master Fu talk us into that plan. What kind of friends were we for going along with it?! Marinette is ill, and obviously can't handle it. Now we've just gotten ourselves into an even bigger mess! Chat Noir is still obsessed with her, and now he seems more powerful than ever before. Is Marinette okay?"

"At the moment she seems to be," Alya huffed, "in fact, she now seems to be rather enjoying Chat Noir's creepy stalking."

"So, what? Marinette has some sort of Stockholm syndrome now?" Carapace groaned sarcastically and in exasperation.

"I…I don't know… I don't know what's going on Carapace, and it's starting to scare me," Rena Rouge admitted. "He must want something from her or need her for something. Why else would he be obsessed with her? Marinette has never had much to do with Chat Noir."

"And yet you thought it would be a good idea to confront him and provoke him, potentially placing Marinette in even more danger," Carapace accused.

"Oh come one, what else was I supposed to do? What else would have distracted him?" Rena Rouge demanded. "I needed to save you and Queen Bee. I needed us to finally seize his miraculous."

"Yes, but look where that got us!"

"How was I supposed to know he could cause that much damage?!"

"You mentally tormented him with that illusion, what did you expect was going to happen?!" Carapace yelled.

Rena Rouge could feel her anger starting to reach boiling point. Why was Carapace treating her this way? She could feel her heart starting to break at the sight of Carapace, Nino, her boyfriend of four years, looking at her and speaking to her this way. Why couldn't he understand? She never intended to intentionally place anyone in danger. She was just doing everything she could to protect everyone and finally put an end to Chat Noir's reign of terror. Yet Carapace was treating her as if she was the bad guy. Why was he defending Chat Noir so much?

"Oh so, what?" Rena Rouge demanded, placing her hands on her hips, forcing back betrayed tears as her necklace began to beep its final warnings. "You're on Chat Noir's side?"

"What? No!" Carapace took a deep, calming breath before speaking in a lower voice. "Look, babe, I just don't think we should be so hard on Chat Noir, that's all. Whatever he's done, it…it seems like he's been through a lot. I think there's something wrong with him. It's obvious he's really effected by everything that's happened, and I think it's our job as heroes to try and help him rather than make things worse."

"Carapace, the stupid cat is insane!" Rena Rouge shrieked. "He has something to do with what happened to Ladybug, I know it!"

"What do you mean?" Carapace asked.

"Before you arrived, I confronted him about what happened that night and –"

"Oh, so is that what this is all about?" Carapace cut her off, growing frustrated again.

"Huh?"

"Your Ladybug conspiracies?"

"No! I mean…" Rena Rouge stuttered, "not exactly anyway."

Carapace placed his hands on Rena Rouge's shoulders. "Rena, I'm worried you're beginning to meddle in things that are seriously dangerous. You saw Chat Noir tonight. It's clear that we have no idea what he's capable of. I just don't think you should be charging into these things and prodding what is now, quite obviously, a sleeping bear – errr – cat."

"I'm telling you, there's something going on!"

"But you can't keep barging into these things recklessly!"

"I need to find out the truth!"

Carapace groaned in frustration. "But sometimes you just need to let things go. Babe, you know I'll always support you, but on this one, I'm advising you to calm down. No more Ladybug investigation, no more tackling Chat Noir on your own, and no more provoking him. I think we need to come up with a new strategy."

Rena Rouge knocked Carapace's hands off her shoulders. "So you're saying I should just give up?!"

"Since it's now obvious that it's placing lives in danger, yes," Carapace tried to remain calm and patient.

"But finding out the truth will help _save_ lives!" Rena Rouge pleaded. "Ladybug is alive out there somewhere, I know it! I can't just give up on her!"

Carapace finally lost his cool and cried out in vexation, throwing his arms up in fury. "Rena, this is crazy!"

Rena Rouge stared at Carapace in shock, tears once again stinging the corners of her eyes. "Y-you think I'm crazy?"

"No, I said _this_ is crazy," Carapace tried to reassure her, going back to trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

Rena Rouge bit her lip and looked away. "I don't see any difference."

"All I'm saying is that you need to back off a little bit and leave all of these conspiracies alone," Carapace tried to patiently suggest.

"No," Rena Rouge growled. "You might be willing to give up on Ladybug, to give up on ever finding out what happened, to give up on finally taking the cat miraculous back, but I'm not. But at least I now understand where your loyalties lie. I'm your girlfriend. You're supposed to trust me and support me. But whatever. I'm going to find out what happened, I'm going to save Ladybug and defeat Chat Noir, with or without your help."

"Alya –" Carapace gasped out, reaching a hand out towards her before Rena Rouge slapped it away and quickly cut him off.

"You and Queen Bee can have your understanding, safe cosy moments with Chat Noir," Rena Rouge choked out, "meanwhile I'm going to do what a true superhero does and never give up, or take the safe, easy route. Not when so much is at stake."

The fox miraculous beeped for the final time, so Rena Rouge, doing her best to remain strong and hide her tears, turned her back on a stunned and wounded Carapace to sprint off before dropping into a distant, dark street. In a burst of orange light, her miraculous de-activated, leaving a broken and confused Alya leaning against the brick wall. Every time Carapace's words of doubt echoed around in her mind, the tighter the vice around her heart began to squeeze.

Luckily, it didn't seem like anyone had run after her, so Alya allowed herself to slide down onto the ground, burying her face in her knees as the tears began to finally flow free. How could Nino doubt her? After everything they had been through? Though she did feel bad about how she had handled some things, it was only because she was doing what she thought was best at the time. Hindsight truly was a wonderful gift that Nino just couldn't seem to see past.

"Alya, are you okay?" Trixx tapped Alya's shoulder gently.

Alya raised her head slightly to meet the confused, concerned purple eyes of her kwami.

"H-how could he?" Alya managed to choke out.

"How could who what?"

"Nino doesn't believe me," Alya answered more specifically with a shaky voice.

"I don't think that was quite what he said," Trixx replied.

"He as good as said that." Alya slammed her fist against the wall. "Of all people I thought I could count on, who would trust me no matter what, who would understand my reasoning, who would understand the need for answers and to do whatever it took to keep Paris safe."

"The guy holds the turtle miraculous," Trixx sighed, "of course he would want to play things safe."

"Well I don't," Alya growled, "I'm determined to get to the bottom of this! With or without his help or approval! I'm my own woman! My own superhero!" Alya wiped away her tears before standing up straight and pulling some food out of her bag for her little orange kwami.

"And do what?" Trixx asked, unsure, nibbling on his food.

Alya sighed, slumping against the wall in exhaustion.

"I have no idea," she said, "but I'm more convinced than ever that Chat Noir had something to do with whatever happened to Ladybug. I just can't quite figure out what. I need to figure out a way of finding out the truth and keeping him away from Marinette."

"But still, I am a bit worried about you going this alone. Maybe if you just talked to Carapace and Queen Bee –"

"No!" Alya quickly cut her kwami off. "I already tried to explain things to Carapace and look where that got me. He thinks this whole thing is crazy. I have no choice but to go it alone. I've already made some huge breaks in the case. There was that footage of that mysterious hero stealing the butterfly miraculous, Ladybug's body or miraculous has never showed up, and now, Chat Noir seems to definitely be hiding something."

"Even so, I think Carapace might have a point when it comes to provoking Chat Noir. I dunno, something just seems…wrong about him," Trixx responded nervously.

Alya narrowed her eyes in thought. "You might be right. Do you have any idea what it might be?"

Trixx suddenly shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not sure if I'm allowed to discuss it with you."

"What?!" Alya gasped. "You're telling me that kwamis keep secrets from their holders?!"

Trixx winked. "All the time."

Alya's face turned thunderous, and Trixx panicked before rushing to try and explain everything.

"It's not like we have a choice! There are rules!" Trixx exclaimed.

"So you're not allowed to discuss what might be going on with Chat Noir? Can't you break that rule or find some way to work around it?" Alya pleaded desperately. "Please, Trixx! I need to try and get an idea of what might be going on! It might finally help us capture Chat Noir's miraculous and put an end to everything!" Alya then gasped. "Do you know Chat Noir's real identity?!"

"No!" Trixx frowned. "And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to tell you. It's impossible."

"Huh?"

Trixx groaned. "It'll take forever to explain."

"Do you know something about Ladybug then?" Alya asked. "I know I've asked you a million times, but –"

"Alya, all I know is that the ladybug miraculous is missing. I haven't seen or heard anything from the ladybug kwami in a long time. What that means, I cannot be certain."

Alya sighed in frustration. "So what exactly do you think might be going on with Chat Noir? Please tell me as much as you can. I'm sure that you want to least help the ladybug kwami?"

"Well…" Trixx rubbed the back of his head, his purple eyes narrowing in concentration. "It might possibly be linked to the ladybug miraculous."

Alya's eyes widened. "So it _is_ still out there?!"

"It's possible, and it's likely that it's having a huge effect on Chat Noir, more so than usual lately it seems for some reason. You see, the ladybug and the cat miraculous are linked in ways you could never imagine. They're slightly different from us other kwamis and miraculous. They're more interconnected than the rest of us, and by extension, so are the holders of those miraculous. They have to be; they are yin and yang. The balance of the universe depends on it," Trixx explained as best as he could.

"But…why now?" Alya frowned in confusion. "What's changed?"

Trixx shrugged. "It's quite possible that this is something that has been building for a long time."

"If Chat Noir is suddenly becoming a lot crazier and destructive…that must mean the universe is becoming unbalanced; creation is not there to balance out destruction." Alya gasped in horror. "That means something must be wrong with the ladybug miraculous! That's why Ladybug can't come back!"

"I didn't say or imply anything like that." Trixx winked.

"That's it, that's got to be it! Thank you so much, Trixx! We're one step closer to solving all of this!" Alya then paused. "But wait…I thought a miraculous was indestructible?" Alya asked in confusion.

"It's difficult, but not impossible to damage one," Trixx admitted, sounding uncomfortable.

"We've got to get this news to Master Fu right away!" Alya cried out urgently. "Trixx, let's pounce!"

"Whoa, hey, wait!" Trixx tried to beg, but it was too late. The little fox kwami was already being pulled towards the fox tail necklace that hung from Alya's neck.

In a burst of orange light, Alya was Rena Rouge once again. She may not be able to chase Chat Noir down and make Carapace see sense tonight, but if one person was going to help her, it was definitely Master Fu. He would know what was going on. He would know what to do.

However, as Rena Rouge began running over the Parisian rooftops, it suddenly dawned on her that it was strange that Master Fu hadn't seemed to have already worked some of this out. As the guardian of the miraculous, surely he would know what was going on with the ladybug miraculous. Why had he never said anything? And if something had happened to the ladybug miraculous, then surely he would know what the results would be for Chat Noir? Why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he warn them? None of this was making any sense, and the more Rena Rouge thought about it, the more apprehensive she became about talking to Master Fu about it.

Had…had he been…keeping things from her?

But even still, there was only one way to be certain. So Rena Rouge kept sprinting towards his home. She still needed to get this news to him. And if he was keeping things from her, Rena Rouge might be about to find out for sure.

As she ran, the fox hero kept an eye out for Chat Noir or any of her superhero partners. However, there was no sign of any of them. Chat Noir had probably used all of the chaos as an opportunity to escape while Carapace had probably gone off somewhere to lick his wounds. Rena Rouge nearly tripped over a roof tile at the thought of Carapace. The feelings of betrayal were still stinging her deeply, but she forced herself to focus. She could deal with her personal life later. This was far more important.

Rena Rouge slowed down as Master Fu's street approached. She quickly looked around to check if anyone was watching before she jumped down from the roof, instantly knocking loudly on the front door. When she got no answer, she kept knocking, desperate for Master Fu to wake up and answer.

Finally, her sensitive fox ears twitched at the sound of movement from inside the building.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" Master Fu called sleepily from behind the door.

The fox hero stepped back from the door as she heard Master Fu speak. The lock clicked and the door finally opened to reveal a very tired and confused Master Fu, dressed in a stripy nightgown and cap. However, his eyes instantly became wide and alert as soon as he registered just who it was who was knocking on his door in the middle of the night.

"Quickly, get inside!" Master Fu commanded, grabbing hold of Rena Rouge's arm and roughly pulling her inside his house. Master Fu quickly shut and locked the front door behind them before sighing with relief and plastering on a welcoming smile.

"Judging by the early hour, I'm guessing this isn't a social visit," Master Fu chuckled, leading Rena Rouge further inside. "I'll make us some tea. You certainly look like you could use some."

"Errr, thanks, but I need to talk to you about something really important!" Rena Rouge exclaimed.

"Is that so?" Master Fu yawned, beginning to heat the small, old fashioned kettle on the hob.

"Tonight, the three of us battled Chat Noir again," Rena Rouge explained, "but this time…I don't know…it almost seems like he's getting more powerful?"

Master Fu froze for a second before he continued to make the tea. "Please explain to me exactly what happened."

"Well, he was attacking Queen Bee and Carapace, so I used my illusion powers to conjure up an image of Ladybug to distract him long enough for them to take his miraculous. Only it kinda…sent him crazy," Rena Rouge admitted apprehensively before continuing. "All of a sudden, he just slams his fists on the ground, not even using his cataclysm, and the whole neighbour begins to shake. Everything starts getting destroyed, it was like there was a giant earthquake!"

"I see," Master Fu replied casually, causing Rena Rouge to narrow her eyes at him before she continued again.

"Lately, he's been acting strange. He disappears for weeks on end and then when he finally comes back, it was like he didn't even want to bother fighting with me, only when he did, he's more powerful," Rena Rouge revealed. "But I do have a theory. I think it has something to do with the ladybug miraculous."

Master Fu froze again before watching Rena Rouge carefully out of the corner of his eye. "Go on."

"I think there's something wrong with it and it's causing problems with the cat miraculous as a result. I always heard that the ladybug and cat miraculous were always supposed to be in balance, but if there's something wrong with the ladybug miraculous, how can there be balance? It might explain why Chat Noir's powers are going haywire, and it might explain why he's been acting so strange," Rena Rouge gushed.

"I see," Master Fu replied casually again.

"T-that's all you have to say?" Rena Rouge gasped.

"It is certainly an interesting theory; I will give it much thought," Master Fu continued to talk as if they were merely discussing the weather. He began pouring the now hot water into two small teacups, and Rena Rouge could feel her jaw dropping to the floor at Master Fu's reaction.

"You mean…that idea has never crossed your mind before?" Rena Rouge asked incredulously, growing increasingly suspicious.

"It has."

Rena Rouge raised an annoyed eyebrow, trying desperately to keep her cool. "So why didn't you say anything? You could have warned us."

"How is your friend's mission going?" Master Fu asked, completely disregarding Rena Rouge's questions.

"Oh – ummm – that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about," Rena Rouge replied worriedly. "You see, that hasn't exactly gone to plan. Marinette hasn't been able to take back Chat Noir's miraculous. He seems to be more obsessed with her than ever before, and Marinette now seems to be going along with it – enjoying it even. I caught them tonight spending a cosy time together!"

Master Fu nearly dropped his cup of tea.

"It all looked very…intimate." Rena Rouge shuddered.

" _It's finally happening."_ Rena Rouge could have sworn she heard Master Fu mumble.

"What?"

"I said I see," Master Fu frowned in thought.

Rena Rouge narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously before continuing to speak. "We need to do something! We can't let Marinette do this mission anymore. It's clear that Chat Noir is up to something and I don't want Marinette to get hurt. We have to keep Marinette away from him!"

"No!" Master Fu ordered.

"What?!" Rena Rouge gasped in horror.

"You must leave them be!"

Rena Rouge didn't think she had ever heard Master Fu sound so stern.

"But…Master…Marinette…he'll…he'll hurt her!" Rena Rouge stuttered in shock and fear.

"Do you think that I would carelessly place an innocent girl in danger?" Master Fu challenged.

"No, but –"

"Then you are to trust my judgement." Master Fu calmly sipped his tea.

Rena Rouge frowned. "No."

Master Fu placed his cup down on the saucer before closing his eyes.

"Forgive me, Master, but I think you're hiding something from me, and I don't like it," Rena Rouge growled out, unable to control her temper any longer. "How can you expect me to work on this mission when I don't know all the facts? How can you think that I would want to place my best friend in danger and let Chat Noir continue to get away with everything? And you know what? I think you know more about Ladybug than you're letting on!"

"Enough." Master Fu held up his hand to silence her. "You are speaking of things that you do not need to be involved with. You are to leave Marinette and Chat Noir alone. Fate will take its course. Now here, have some tea." Master Fu pushed the second cup towards her.

"I don't want tea!" Rena Rouge yelled, knocking the tea off the table while Master Fu watched without flinching. "I want answers!"

"Shouting and being demanding like a petulant child will get you nowhere, Alya," Master Fu lightly scolded. "Sometimes you must not seek the answers, but let the answers seek you."

"What does that even mean?!" Rena Rouge cried out in frustration.

Master Fu continued to drink his tea without saying a word.

Seething, Rena Rouge huffed and began to storm out of the room, her heart pounding in her chest and her face heating up in anger. Her teeth snapped together, and just as she was about to storm out of the door, the sound of Master Fu's voice suddenly caught her attention again.

"Oh, and Alya?" he called. "If I hear that you have been interfering with Marinette and Chat Noir, or causing any trouble that will result in their, and your partners', endangerment, I will be forced to confiscate your miraculous," Master Fu threatened casually, his eyes burning into her own as he peered at her from behind his cup of tea.

A cold shiver ran down Rena Rouge's spine and her heart came to an abrupt stop in her chest.

No… Surely he was bluffing?

She couldn't lose her miraculous! Being a superhero meant everything to her. She loved her duty and responsibilities. But Master Fu had given her this power, and what he had given, he could take away. He was the guardian after all. That thought began to fill her with even more panic.

He was asking her to choose between finding answers and being Rena Rouge.

An impossible choice.

Why was he doing this? Why was he potentially purposefully jeopardising Marinette's safety? Why was he purposefully preventing her from finding out the truth of what happened to Ladybug?

The answer was now clear and obvious.

Master Fu knew something.

He knew more than he had been letting on. So what was her place in all of this? It suddenly made Rena Rouge feel incredibly vulnerable and exposed. Was she nothing more than some pawn in a very long game of chess? How long would it be before she was taken away or discarded? That was essentially what Master Fu had just threatened her with. He knew how much she had wanted to be a hero. And now he was using that against her. It was sick.

No longer did she see Master Fu for the sweet, innocent looking old man he portrayed himself to be. That man was up to something. There was something bigger, much bigger, going on than Rena Rouge could have ever possibly imagined. Was everything linked? The puzzle pieces were beginning to fall into place – that was for sure. The writing was on the wall all along that Master Fu had something to do with whatever was going on. Of course he was now trying to prevent her from getting to the bottom of things. He was an accomplice of the evil that was going on that lead to Ladybug's downfall. Rena Rouge could no longer trust him.

But Rena Rouge was the fox; quick, sly and cunning. She didn't care what Master Fu said. She would just have to be more careful about how she went about all of this. She was going to try her very best to find out what was going on. And rest assured, she, Rena Rouge, Alya Césaire, _would_ find out.

* * *

 **Oh dear. Well it seems like if Alya didn't smell something amiss before, she definitely does now. Sorry that this chapter was once again in Alya's point of view, I know a few of you weren't too happy with that in the last chapter. But this was meant to be part of the last chapter, but of course, I had to split it, which meant that we had two Alya chapters. It was necessary for plot. But don't worry, we'll be back with Chat Noir in the next chapter.**

 **Also, is Trixx a boy or a girl? I heard that in the French dub, Trixx's voice was male, but yet in the English, Trixx sounds female? I know kwamis don't technically have genders, but I'm super confused over what pronouns to use. If anyone could help me with that, that would be great.**

 **Anyway, please feel free to let me know your thoughts and opinions as it always helps me keep writing. I also have another fanfiction now out called 'Chat Vert', so if you want to read something more light-hearted, then feel free to check that out. I hope that you guys have a lovely week and I'll see you all again soon.**


	24. Endless Nightmares

**I'm back! I really do apologise about the month long wait for this chapter. I really appreciate those of you who were being patient and who weren't treating me like their robot slave. I can't believe I once again have to reiterate this but…stop bossing me around. Seriously. It doesn't make me update any faster. It just stresses me out. So to the small minority of my readers who keep doing this, I appreciate that you love my work, but please be more polite to me in the future. No more demanding me to "hurry up!" please.**

 **But anyway, once again, I am sorry for the wait. I bit off more than I could chew when I decided to make a Christmas present for my friends. I wrote them a fanfiction, and I thought I would be able to handle updating that story daily while also still working on this one. Turns out I was an idiot and I couldn't do that. So I had to prioritise the story that was a gift for my friends. Then I was so exhausted that I just had to take some time off from writing to recuperate. Also, I know I said on my blog that I'd update this weekend, but some stuff came up, so yeah, that further delayed things.**

 **Thank you so much for all of your reviews! I really do appreciate them. Also, thank you so much for the now over 400 favourites! This story now also has over 100,000 views as well which is just…mind blowing! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

* * *

 **Chapter 24: Endless Nightmares**

The rumbling could still be felt from a good few streets away. It vibrated through every inch of his body, constantly reminding him of what he had just done. It felt like his brain was rattling around inside his skull from all of the shaking, the poor organ rendered unable to settle after being shaken around by the raw energy that felt like had pulsated through him moments ago. He had always felt like he had been a volcano ready to erupt, but he didn't think that would be something that would literally happen.

All that Chat Noir could do now was drag himself down the streets, towards his home. Luckily, he hadn't been that far from it when this whole thing had happened. He just hoped that those three heroes weren't searching for him right now, because no doubt they would easily find him and take him down.

Paradoxically, Chat Noir had never felt so weak yet so strong at the same time. He felt like he could blow up the entire city if he wanted to, but he could sense that if he did so, he would be taking himself out with it.

In the moment all of that strange energy seemed to erupt from him, it was like his insides had been torn apart along with the street. It was almost like Chat Noir had been struck by lightning. He could feel the hot, intense energy coursing all the way from his ring before it burst out of his body, longing to break free and cause havoc.

Chat Noir knew that this wouldn't go unnoticed. The three heroes had seen the whole thing, not to mention the countless other witnesses on the street. He knew it would likely cause a new, more intense terror to grip the city once they saw what Chat Noir was capable of. But Chat Noir felt just as terrified, if not more so.

Nothing like this had ever happened before. It had felt like the feeling Chat Noir got when he was about to use his cataclysm. It had all begun with that same, familiar sensations. Only this time, Chat Noir had no control over it. It was almost like it was tied to his emotions. The angrier he got, the more the feeling began to grow. It felt hot and molten, just like lava. He could feel every inch of his skin heating up, as if he had just stepped into a roaring fire. It almost felt like his finger was swelling underneath his ring, which then travelled around his body, scorching him and tearing him apart.

The pain became too much. Seeing the image of Ladybug, Rena Rouge's cruel and disgusting illusion, it felt like it had finally sent Chat Noir flying off the edge of that abyss he had been clinging onto the edge of these past few years. He could feel himself falling, the cold air of nothingness stung his already scorched skin. It was like that moment had suddenly ignited a chain reaction. He felt the explosion inside himself, felt the energy gurgling and swelling towards his hand, making him slam it down to the ground.

Chat Noir had never terrified himself so much in all of his life.

What had happened? What was going on with him?

He had never really thought about it too much before, but this all felt like it had been building for years. Now it was reaching boiling point and was erupting out of him. It was like it had been a disease festering inside him all of these years. The signs had always been there, and only now he finally decided to pay attention to it. It had been eating away at his flesh, desperate to consume him until there was nothing left of him.

Every day, every time he was provoked, Chat Noir lost a little bit more of himself. Until he had almost been entirely consumed today. Upon seeing Rena Rouge's illusion, it was like a huge part of himself had broken off, like a melting glacier. That sane, innocent part of him was then carried away by the ocean, leaving almost nothing behind as the last parts of him that stubbornly remained clung on for dear life, terrified of what he would become if they resigned themselves and let go.

Horror-stricken, it was then that he knew that he had to get away. He had to get away from the three heroes who always seemed to be the main cause of this frightful feeling. He didn't want to be like this. He didn't want to be like this anymore. Marinette had helped him realise that. But Rena Rouge always had to insist on tormenting him. Always had to insist on provoking him and causing him to revert.

Chat Noir didn't stick around long enough to see the damage he had caused, but he knew that it would be a significant amount. All he knew was that he had to get away. To get away from Rena Rouge before he did something else he regretted. Because in that moment, he could have quite happily sunk his claws into her, and his dark thoughts terrified him. He didn't want to be like this anymore. But he didn't know how to stop. Something was seriously wrong with him, but he didn't know what.

Groaning in pain, Chat Noir continued to pull himself along the road, thankfully not hearing any sound of a pursuit behind him. He figured that if they had been after him, they would have found him by now. He just needed to try and get home. Once he managed that, he would finally be able to talk to Plagg about what was going on.

His ring still felt painfully tight around his finger, and he could still feel it pulsating with energy. Chat just hoped that Plagg was okay. If that was some sort of cataclysm, then shouldn't he have transformed back by now? His ring wasn't beeping or losing any of its light. Instead, it seemed to be shining brighter than ever.

What did this mean? Was there something wrong with his miraculous? With Plagg?

He was nearly home. His vision was blurring slightly, but he could see his mansion in the distance. The whole street remained dark and quiet as Chat Noir pulled himself along, desperate to make it home. He could feel himself growing weaker and weaker, and the last thing that he wanted to do was pass out in the middle of the street. As soon as he got home, he would be fine. He could de-transform, and then he could ask Plagg about what the hell was going on.

At last, he made it to the wall that surrounded his house, so he summoned the last of his strength to force himself to shakily stand up before grabbing his baton from his belt. He extended it, and clumsily launched himself over the wall, landing in a heap on the ground just outside his front door. He could feel his whole body twitching and shaking as sweat dripped down from his forehead. His body continued to feel really hot, and his miraculous was beginning to feel like it was squeezing the life out of his finger.

Chat Noir pushed his door open and crawled inside before kicking it shut behind him. It felt like a giant block of lead had been placed in the middle of his back, preventing him from rising. Each tiny movement was incredibly arduous, like he had no energy left within him whatsoever. He continued to hear his erratic heartbeat in his ears, and his eyes kept trying to force themselves to close, but Chat Noir fought back.

"Claws in," he mumbled weakly and out of breath.

He felt his transformation release, and already it felt like that huge block of lead had been lifted off his back. His whole form suddenly felt light and more relaxed, like he had just stepped into a warm bath after a long, hard day. However, Adrien still felt incredibly weak, and he continued to fight off the urge to close his eyes and just let himself go.

Plagg was ejected from the ring and sent spiralling around the room like always. The small, black kwami was then slammed against the floor just in front of Adrien, who began to panic when he could see little to no movement from him.

"Plagg!" Adrien cried out, feeling tears well up in his heavy eyes.

Still too weak to get up, Adrien crawled towards his kwami before gently picking him up and cradling him in his hands. He sighed with relief upon seeing that his kwami was still breathing before his green eyes fluttered open slightly.

Plagg was breathing really heavily as if he had just run a long marathon. His little body twitched and writhed around in Adrien's hands, and his eyes kept darting back and forth, as if he was watching something that Adrien couldn't see.

"Plagg, please! Speak to me! What's going on?!" Adrien begged.

There was no response.

Adrien gasped for air in panic before looking up and around the room frantically. What should he do? He didn't know that kwamis could get sick. _Was_ Plagg sick? He certainly looked it. But what was he sick with? What was wrong with him? Would human medicine work on kwamis? All of these questions continued to buzz around in Adrien's mind, causing him to freeze in place, unsure of what he should do.

Finally, Adrien's brain gave him an idea. Keeping Plagg gently tucked in the palm of his hand, Adrien dashed towards the kitchen. Once inside, he grabbed a chunk of camembert and waved the cheese under Plagg's nose, hoping to get some sort of response out of him.

Much to Adrien's horror, Plagg didn't react. The black kwami just continued to stare up at the ceiling, and it was beginning to sound like he was trying to mumble something. He shivered in Adrien's hand, and each little shiver sent a huge wave of panic throughout Adrien's entire body.

"Come on, Plagg! Please!" Adrien cried out, breaking the camembert into smaller pieces before trying to force one of them into Plagg's mouth.

But Plagg remained unresponsive.

Maybe he just needed stronger cheese. With that thought, Adrien began frantically searching the rest of the kitchen, but frustratingly, it looked like Plagg had already got to most of the stronger cheese he kept in the house, likely either having hidden it or already eaten it.

"Just hang in there, Plagg!" Adrien called to his kwami who he left laying down on the kitchen counter. "Please hang in there; I can't lose you too!"

"Tikki?"

"What?" Adrien gasped out as he turned around to face Plagg again.

The small kwami was still lying down on the counter, only this time, he was thrashing around more and more. He kicked his legs out and outstretched his arms as if he was trying to reach out for something. His green eyes were completely wide and wild, flickering back and forth, rolling backwards and forwards in his head as if he was trying to fight off complete unconsciousness.

"I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen to me!" Plagg yelled desperately.

"Plagg?" Adrien asked shakily, taking a few cautious steps towards him.

"He's the worst Chat Noir I've ever had!" Plagg continued to yell. "All he ever does is makes mistakes. He got you and your Ladybug killed. He doesn't deserve to have me. It's because of him that you're not here anymore! I hate him, and I wish that he had died that night instead of Ladybug! It was all his fault! It was all his stupid plan! I tried to tell him!"

Adrien felt like he was about to choke up the shards of his broken heart. His stomach tied itself in an impossibly tight knot. Each word Plagg uttered was like a powerful punch in the abdomen, knocking Adrien backwards until his back slammed against the counter, knocking over the pots and pans that had been messily left there.

"Plagg…" was all Adrien could whisper as the tears finally began to break free and steak down his face.

He had always had a feeling that this was what Plagg really thought of him. He saw it in the glances that his kwami would shoot his way every time he thought that he wasn't looking. But Adrien saw them. He knew that this was all his fault. That Plagg blamed him for everything that had happened that night. He had every right to. It was Adrien that had caused all of this after all. Plagg was right…it should have been Adrien who died that night. It was no less than he deserved. Then Ladybug would still be here. The city of Paris wouldn't be a terrified wreck.

Adrien then stared towards the door, feeling unworthy to even look at Plagg right now. Four years ago, he had stood in that very doorway, watching Ladybug as she searched this very kitchen for Adrien, oblivious to the fact that he had been standing right behind her all along. This was one of the very last places he had seen Ladybug alive. And in those moments, he had been chasing her, tormenting her, terrifying her.

He could see it now…the angry and terrified look in her eyes as they fought in here.

If only Adrien had done things differently…

"He's nothing but a disgusting monster!" Plagg screamed, still thrashing about.

Adrien glanced down, tears blurring his vision as he stared down at the pots and pans that surrounded him, the silver shining brightly in the intense light of the kitchen. His distorted reflection stared back at him, face thin and gaunt looking, eyes red and swollen. He really was starting to look like the monster he had become. He was looking just like…like…

Frozen, Adrien watched as his reflection began to morph and change before his eyes. His golden blonde hair turned silver, his face grew longer, and his eyes turned to a steely grey. The angry, disgusted face of his father stared back at him, his eyes eternally judging him. Gabriel Agreste stared up at Adrien with the same scathing expression he always used to.

Adrien yelped and leapt backwards, startled, struggling to breathe under the intense gaze of his father's reflection. The reflection did not move, still staring at Adrien, his hard eyes always locked onto him, never allowing him to escape. But Adrien finally forced himself to look away, Plagg's screaming growing more and more distant as the lights in the room began to flicker.

Feeling freaked out, Adrien stared up at the light, mentally begging it to stop flickering. Instead of stopping, the light too seemed to morph and contort, swelling up and turning white before bulging out slightly in the middle. The bulge began to turn grey, forming a smaller, black circle in the middle.

Adrien screamed and pressed himself against the kitchen wall as the cold, grey eyeball dangling from the ceiling blinked before it flickered towards Adrien, the same judgemental look in at as had always been in his father's.

Soon, most of the objects in the room began to swell and contort until most of them resembled giant eyeballs that all turned to glare at Adrien, their gazes burning deep into his very soul. Terrified, Adrien turned back towards the huge silver pot where he had seen his father's reflection. Gabriel was still there, frozen, unblinking, his gaze turning to one of hatred as he continued to stare at his son.

"I am profoundly disappointed in you, Adrien," Gabriel scolded.

Those words. Always those words. They constantly echoed around in Adrien's mind, reminding him of how useless and pathetic he was. That he was never good enough in the eyes of his father. That he was a terrible son. That he would never have his father's approval. That Adrien was just as much responsible for what happened to his father as what had happened to Ladybug.

"You let your mother and I down, Adrien," his father continued, "you betrayed us."

"I had no choice!" Adrien screamed, trying to put his hands over his ears to block out his father's voice. But it didn't work. His father's voice continued to speak, only this time, it sounded like it was coming from inside his own head.

"Your mother is still gone because of you. We could have saved her. We could have been together again. We could have been a family again."

"Stop!" Adrien cried out, beginning to sob.

"Everything I did was for _us,_ " Gabriel growled out. "But the whole time, you had your own selfish agenda. You cared more about Ladybug than you did your own mother!"

"That's not true!"

"Now both of them are dead. Both of them are dead and you saw to it that I was locked away forever. Now you have no one. _You are no one,_ " Gabriel taunted.

"Father…please…"

"And yet I protected you." Gabriel paused before laughing. "I could have told that whole courtroom what you had done – I could have told the whole world! But I protected you, my ungrateful, pathetic son."

Adrien whimpered.

Gabriel sneered. "You're even more evil than I am."

Unable to take it anymore, Adrien shook his head, desperate to try and get rid of his father's voice. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and ran out of the kitchen and back into the corridor. He opened his eyes again, relieved to see that the giant eyes of his father had vanished, and his voice seemed to have disappeared with it.

That's when Adrien heard the sound of something wet beneath his shoe. He glanced down and gasped in horror when he saw that he had stepped in a dark pool of blood. From that pool of blood, there was a trail that seemed to be leading down the corridor and towards the main hall of the house.

Adrien dared to glance back into the kitchen to see that it was now completely dark and quiet in there. No sign of the giant eyes, no sign of his father, and, even more worryingly, no sign of Plagg. Had his kwami got up at some point and managed to leave the room? Had Plagg left this trail of blood?

Panicking, Adrien began to follow it, his heart pounding in his chest as he began to hear the sounds of distant voices and crying. Adrien wasn't able to recognise the voices, but there seemed to be a lot of them. Had Plagg been taken? Adrien hadn't seen anyone come into the room, let alone hear anyone come into the house.

"Plagg?" Adrien whispered, hoping for some kind of response.

Nothing.

The walk through the corridor grew more and more difficult, each of his legs suddenly feeling like they weighed as much as a huge truck. It was like Adrien was trying to walk through water. But he needed to hurry and find Plagg! His kwami needed his help! Adrien wasn't just going to give up on him, no matter what Plagg thought of him. He had put his poor kwami through enough, so the least he could do was try and help him now when clearly he needed it most.

Growing frustrated, Adrien grabbed hold of the wall, trying to force his body to speed up. It kept feeling like there was elastic tied to his back that was straining more and more the further he walked. It felt like at any second it would snap back, pulling Adrien all the way back to where he started. But Adrien pressed on, determined. He grit his teeth together and kept dragging himself along, his body floating even more into the air the more he attempted to fight the forces that kept trying to pull him back.

Finally, Adrien reached the door that led into the dinning room, only to become shocked at the sight of the door having been replaced with bars. Adrien quickly clung onto them, still trying to make sure he didn't end up being pulled backwards. He frowned at the sight of the dinning room having been replaced by a small prison cell. Nathalie, his father's old assistant, sat on the lower bunk, staring down at what looked like a picture of his father. She looked completely dishevelled. Her hair was no longer neat and tidy, and the red dye was beginning to fade from it. She wasn't wearing any make-up, and it looked like she had lost a lot of weight. She looked completely hopeless as she stared longingly at the photo.

Adrien frowned and shook his head before continuing on, dragging himself along the walls of the corridor, still desperate to follow the trail of blood and maybe try and find Plagg. However, Adrien soon once again found himself coming across another door. A door to the living room. Only this time, once again, the door had been replaced with bars.

He grabbed hold and peered inside once again to see what looked like a prison cell. Only this one was more simple with most of the surfaces having been rounded. Adrien's heart lurched at the sight of his father sat in the middle of the floor, wrapped in what looked like a straight jacket. He didn't even look up as Adrien stared in, simply gazing down at the ground, his whole body shaking with what looked like sobs. His light hair was sticking out all over the place, and it sounded like he kept mumbling something under his breath that Adrien couldn't quite make out.

But Adrien couldn't bear to look at him a moment longer, and quickly looked away before continuing on. The trail of blood continued as Adrien finally reached the main hallway of the Agreste mansion. The trail seemed to be leading him out the font door, and the sounds of voices and crying became even louder, as if whoever these people were, they were stood right outside his door.

The strange heavy pulling sensation vanished, and Adrien was finally able to firmly keep his feet on the ground. He ran towards the front doors of the mansion, yanking them open. However, instead of seeing his front garden, Adrien blinked at the sight of Paris' town hall. Crowds of people, dressed in black and red were stood in neat lines, facing the building. The trail of blood led down the centre, and Adrien continued to follow it, growing more and more uneasy as this scene began to feel familiar to him.

The people around him sobbed and cried, while others simply stood frozen as if they were struggling to process something. Adrien finally looked towards the town hall where everybody was facing, and he gasped at what he saw.

 _No._

He couldn't be back here…

He didn't want to be back here!

Displayed just in front of the town hall was a coffin. A coffin that was decorated with the French flag as well as many beautiful irises. The Mayor was stood in front of it, his whole body frozen in place as if he was a mere statue. The sobs of the crowd continued, and that's when Adrien gasped at the sight of himself stood just to the side of the Mayor, dressed as Chat Noir, a haunted look on his face as he stared straight ahead, as if he wasn't seeing anything that was in front of him.

Was that how he had looked?

There were cameras and helicopters everywhere as the whole city wept, and Adrien finally turned his attention back towards the trail of blood. It led straight towards the coffin where it pooled around the bottom while some dripped over the edge as if the coffin was overflowing.

The clock of the town hall chimed loudly, vibrating the air around Adrien and hurting his ears as he slowly and cautiously stepped forward, drawn towards the coffin as if it was a powerful magnet. Adrien finally reached out and found himself unable to resist peering inside, knowing that the coffin should have been empty. After all, no body had ever been found. The city of Paris had just used an empty one for the sake of the funeral service.

Adrien screamed and fell to his knees at the sight that awaited him. She lay in the coffin, dressed in Ladybug's suit, her expression peaceful and serene. Nothing could hurt her anymore. Certainly not Chat Noir anyway. But her mask was missing, revealing the girl lying there to be…Marinette.

The bells chimed again, and Adrien felt sick. The bells kept ringing and ringing and ringing, invading his mind and causing his whole brain to shake within his skull. He stumbled away from the coffin, terrified of what lay inside. What was Marinette doing in there?! Had he failed to protect someone else? Had his actions led to her demise as well?

 _Riiiiiinnnnnngggggg!_

Adrien screamed in pain as he clutched his head, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as the bell of the town hall continued to toll, drowning out every other noise around him. It just kept ringing and ringing and ringing, refusing to stop. It felt like the air around him was violently vibrating, causing his whole body to shake and tremble.

Finally, Adrien's eyes snapped back open, only for him to come face to face with a hard, tiled floor. The whole right side of his face was aching, and the rest of his body wasn't feeling too brilliant either. Every muscle ached, and his skin was drenched in cold sweat. His breathing was slightly laboured and his heart was still racing, terrified over the visions he had just seen. The white tiled floor that was now below him was instantly recognisable, and that's when Adrien finally realised where he was. His head snapped up so that he could look around.

He was…back home? It was morning now? How and when did he get here? He…he had just been at Ladybug's funeral. However, it didn't take long for the confusion to clear as he realised that the whole thing had been nothing more than a dream. He was back home, and it looked like he had passed out in his hallway just in front of the front doors. He was facing towards the inside of the house so…had that whole thing with Plagg not been real?

Plagg!

Adrien gasped in panic, looking frantically around to see if he could spot any sign of his kwami, still feeling slightly disorientated. Finally, his eyes caught a small and tiny movement. Sat on one of the sofas munching on a piece of camembert was none other than Plagg. He looked like his normal self, at least from where Adrien was standing anyway.

So…none of that had happened? Plagg was okay? Was anything about last night real?

"Plagg!" Adrien called out in relief, stepping forward, only to be immediately halted by the sound of his phone ringing in the back pocket of his jeans. So that's where that noise had been coming from. Someone was trying to call him. But who? And why?

Adrien quickly grabbed his phone to find out the answers, watching as Nino's name lit up his screen. Why on earth was Nino calling him? That was a rarity. Nino usually only visited him about once a week just to make sure that he was doing okay. But Adrien had more important things to worry about right now. He rejected the call and immediately switched his phone off only to look up and see Plagg quickly get up and fly towards his bedroom, not saying a single word.

That's when Adrien knew that something strange was definitely going on. He ran after his kwami and skidded to a halt in his room when he found him lying in the middle of his bed, stuffing his face with cheese again. Plagg looked like he was pretending not to notice Adrien as he continued to gorge himself on his favourite treat. But Adrien wasn't going to have any of that.

"Plagg," Adrien spoke firmly, "what's going on?"

Plagg gulped down a huge bite.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He took another huge bite.

Adrien was used to seeing Plagg stuff his face, but it seemed there was an extra eagerness to the way Plagg was eating. He was acting almost like he had been starved for over a century. Adrien had never seem him get through a huge pile of cheese so quickly and yet he kept reaching for more.

Adrien frowned. "I think you know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

"Nope!" Plagg spoke with his mouth full before swallowing. "Not a clue."

"Oh, so what happened last night, that was all just a dream as well?" Adrien growled out.

Plagg remained silent.

"I've been going out of my mind! Ever since what happened last night, I've been terrified, wondering if you were okay or that something might be wrong with you, yet here you are, acting as if nothing happened!" Adrien yelled, all of his emotions bursting to the surface. "I don't know what's gotten into you!"

"Nothing. I'm fine," Plagg stated flatly.

It was obvious that it was a lie, and that only caused Adrien to frown at his kwami even more.

"What happened last night?" Adrien asked, trying to remain calm. He knew that getting angry with Plagg would never get him anywhere.

"Well, you used your cataclysm against those heroes, you overexerted yourself, you made it home before immediately passing out," Plagg explained as nonchalantly as possible.

"That wasn't a cataclysm and you know it! That was something more!" Adrien yelled in panic.

Plagg remained silent again.

"I don't understand," Adrien said shakily, "why won't you tell me what's going on? Why do you always feel the need to constantly hide things from me!"

Plagg squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

"If there's something going on that I need to know about –"

"There's nothing okay! Nothing is going on! Now would you please just leave me alone!" Plagg yelled, startling Adrien slightly.

Plagg never yelled. He was often too lazy to get angry. He just shrugged everything off, not caring. This only served to make Adrien even more suspicious. Plagg definitely knew more than he was letting on, and he was purposefully hiding it from Adrien. That thought made Adrien increasingly uncomfortable. Why would his kwami hide something from him? Didn't he trust him? Then again, Adrien shouldn't really be surprised by that after everything he had put Plagg through.

And it had been this very day four years ago.

Today was the day it all happened.

The thought finally sunk in, causing Adrien to collapse onto his knees and stare out of his window, where the thick smoke had once been rising from the flames below. He had chased Ladybug into this very room as well. He knew from the moment he had walked in exactly where she was hiding. But he didn't pounce. He couldn't bring himself to do so. He had secretly hoped in that moment that she would be able to slip away from him. That she would be able to stop him and his father. That she would be able to stop what he had planned…

Adrien felt a single tear trickle down his cheek before he heard Plagg gasp.

"Kid…I'm sorry…I…I didn't mean to shout…" Plagg stuttered out.

"It's not that," Adrien breathed, pushing himself backwards so that he could slump against his wall.

They were both silent for a moment before Plagg managed to figure it out.

"Oh…Adrien…I'm sorry…I didn't think…"

"It's okay." Adrien tried to keep himself sounding sane and upbeat, but it didn't work. "You've got nothing to apologise for. This whole thing is my fault –"

"I'm going to have to stop you right there, kid," Plagg interrupted him, holding up his hand.

"Why though?" Adrien replied miserably. "It's what you're secretly thinking."

"I don't think that. I've never thought that," Plagg explained. "You've got to stop blaming yourself for everything that happened. What you did…was stupid I admit, but how were you to know that this would be the outcome? You didn't know what your father was capable of."

"But you did," Adrien sighed out. "You tried to stop me."

"I tried to stop you not because I foresaw this outcome, but because I thought you should have told Ladybug the truth from day one. But I get it, you were caught in a difficult position. I don't know what I would have done if I was you, but then again, kwamis don't have parents, so we don't really understand these things." Plagg played with a piece of cheese absentmindedly. "But what's done is done now. Your plan could have just as easily worked and gone smoothly. But that's life. It's all down to chance. You've got to remember that what happened to Ladybug was Hawkmoth's doing. You did everything you could for her, but it just…wasn't enough. Hawkmoth was always going to have the upper hand."

Adrien stared at Plagg, feeling a lump forming in his throat. "Is that what you really think?" he asked.

"It's what I've always thought," Plagg admitted. "I was so distant and cold because I wanted to give you space. Not to mention, I was grieving myself. I let you get on with everything that you were doing because I knew that you had a lot that you needed to get out of your system. I'm a kwami, I just do my master's bidding. It wasn't like you were hurting innocent people, albeit your methods for catching criminals were a little…unconventional."

"I did so many bad things, Plagg…so many bad things…"

"Be that as it may, what matters now is how you make up for those bad things and change for the better," Plagg explained. "It's not enough just to admit what you've done and apologise, but your actions need to show that you really mean it."

"You're being unusually wise today," Adrien noted, raising an eyebrow at his kwami.

"Hey, when you've been around for a few thousand years, you do pick stuff up. Believe it or not, I do pay attention." Plagg stuck his tongue out. "And…I'm sorry for how I was a few minutes ago. What happened with you last night…was just a cataclysm gone wrong. Your emotions wreaked havoc with the miraculous magic. You passed out because that amount of destructive energy exhausted you. But I knew that you would be fine, so I just left you to rest."

Adrien regarded his kwami suspiciously. If Adrien was being honest, that didn't sound true. Something in his gut was telling him that Plagg was lying. But why would he lie? Surely he had no reason to. Adrien supposed that Plagg's explanation did kind of make sense, given that the weird stuff always did seem to happen when he was overcome with intense emotions. But Adrien still had a feeling that there was something more to it than that. But then again, Plagg could also be telling the truth, because what reason would he have to lie?

For now, Adrien guessed that he would just have to accept Plagg's explanation.

Adrien wiped the tears away from his cheeks. "Thanks Plagg." He reached up to gently pat his kwami on the head.

"Yeah, yeah, let's not get too mushy. I'm just glad to see you finally snapping out of it, kid." Plagg waved him off.

"I don't know if I would go that far." Adrien collapsed back into a slump again.

The two of them were silent for a few moments before Plagg perked up again.

"Hey, why don't you go see the baker girl? She always seems to make you feel better."

Adrien glared at him. "Her name is Marinette. And I thought you hated transforming me, especially when it was for personal reasons?"

Plagg shrugged. "Who said anything about transforming?"

"Huh? But –" Adrien paused for a brief second. "What? Go see her as Adrien you mean?" The mere words tasted incredibly bitter and sour in his mouth, instantly sending a shot of fear through his chest. His lungs felt like they were being squeezed, and Adrien stared at the outside world in panic.

"What? Do you think you can build a long lasting relationship in a superhero form?" Plagg quizzed.

"Relationship? Who said anything about a relationship? We're just friends!" Adrien quickly protested.

Plagg smirked. "I wasn't talking about a _romantic_ relationship. You came up with that one on your own."

Adrien froze, rendered speechless before he grunted and turned away from his kwami, his face growing warm.

"Very funny," Adrien said, sounding salty. "But even so, seeing her as Adrien would be impossible. I can't…I just can't…I can't let anyone see me. They'll all be judging me, knowing that I'm the son of Hawkmoth. They'll either pity me or they'll hate me, and I don't know which one I won't be able to stand more. Marinette certainly won't want anything to do with me," Adrien trailed off, feeling miserable before adding, "so I think I'll just stick with being her friend as Chat Noir for now."

Plagg rolled his eyes. "Here it comes."

"Plagg, claws out!" Adrien yelled, ignoring Plagg's annoyed sighs as he was drawn into the ring.

Chat Noir was back, however, he couldn't resist checking himself over just to make sure that everything was okay. In his excited haste to see Marinette, he had forgotten to check with Plagg whether it would be okay for him to transform. But surely if it wasn't safe, then Plagg would have made sure to tell him and protested a bit more seriously when he was about to transform. He felt fine and he didn't have any weird sensations. He felt like he always did when he was Chat Noir. Maybe Plagg was right then. Maybe it was all just down to his emotions.

Feeling a bit more reassured, Chat Noir smirked and grabbed his baton before leaping out of his window, ready to check in on his princess.

* * *

 **Sorry for torturing all of your favourite characters, but hey, it makes for an interesting story that seems to have a lot of you hooked. I'm certainly hooked on writing it. Words cannot describe how excited I am for the next coming chapters. You guys are in for a treat. As always, feel free to let me know your thoughts and opinions in a review as it always helps me out a lot. To make up for the huge gap, I will be updating much faster this time; I just hope I haven't jinxed myself by saying that. I hope that guys all have a lovely week and I'll see you again soon.**

 **QUESTION: Okay, so it seems that communication is a huge problem between me and my readers, especially when it comes to people questioning me over when the next update is. I feel bad that I can't respond to anonymous questions on here, and I realise that some people might not have time to check my blog posts, so I had an idea: what if I created a Twitter account? I figured at least this way, I could get information to people quicker, and if you ask me a question, I can get back to you a lot quicker. How does that sound? Would anybody be interested if I created a Taurus Pixie Twitter account?**


	25. Just a Normal Day

**Welcome back! I hope that you've all been having a lovely week. Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews on the previous chapter. Your feedback always helps me to keep writing and I always really appreciate it. Also, thank you so much to everyone who has followed this story and added it to their favourites. It means a lot to me.**

* * *

 **Chapter 25: Just a Normal Day**

As was usual for these past few days, Marinette could barely concentrate on her work as she tried to force her eyes to stay focused on the worksheet on the desk in front of her. She tapped her pen against the paper, unable to shake the strange feeling in her stomach that just wouldn't go away. But she just couldn't find the source of what was causing it. This strange feeling had been bothering her for days at this point. It was like her whole body was on red alert, yet she didn't know what she was supposed to be on the lookout for.

Shaking her head, Marinette tapped her pen more furiously against her desk, using her other hand to reach down under the table and gently grab her stomach, applying a gentle pressure to maybe quell the strange feeling of dread. This feeling went way beyond nerves. It was like the feeling you get when you know you're about to receive devastating news, like you know that something is about to go terribly wrong and that there's nothing you can do to change anything.

But everything had been fine. Honestly, the only strange phenomena that had been occurring lately was that Hawkmoth seemed to be rather on the quiet side. Though Marinette kept trying to tell herself that this was a good thing, she couldn't help but shake the feeling that it might mean that Hawkmoth was up to something. Though Marinette had no idea what this could possibly be. Or Hawkmoth could be literally on the verge of giving up. There was only so many people he could akumatize, and her and Chat Noir always managed to easily beat them. If Marinette was Hawkmoth, she knew that she would be doubting herself and on the verge of giving up.

However, she didn't quite know how Hawkmoth's mind operated. He had pulled a few strange tricks on them in the past, and Paris' villain didn't seem like the quitter type to Marinette. He was desperate for the ladybug and cat miraculous. But why? It was likely just the typical desire for absolute power and the ability to control the universe. The usual motivation of greed.

But no matter what Hawkmoth was planning, there was no way she and Chat Noir would ever let him get away with it. They would be ready for whatever Hawkmoth was preparing to throw at them next. They had to be. Because there was no way they could ever let him get his hands on their miraculous. They had to defeat him. They had to seize his miraculous and rescue the butterfly kwami. They had to stop him from terrorising the city of Paris, and using people for his own means.

Despite trying to reassure herself though, that strange feeling still wouldn't go away. Something was nagging and tugging at her, but Marinette just couldn't quite pin-point what it was. It could just be nothing though. She had had feelings like this before and nothing had ever come of them. Maybe she was just stressed and anxious because of everything that was going on lately. Yeah, that was probably the most likely explanation, she kept trying to reassure herself. She was just being silly and she shouldn't let this feeling get to her so much.

"If you don't stop tapping that pen, I'm going to throw it out of the window," Alya hissed her threat at Marinette, who jumped slightly at the sudden sound of her best friend's voice in her ear.

"Sorry," Marinette apologised as she placed the pen down on her desk, staring out the window at the clear day.

School was almost over for the day, and the sun was now beginning to hang low in the sky. It bathed the normally blue sky in a yellow glow, almost as if the sky was on fire. It was very beautiful and breath-taking, yet Marinette's stomach continued to do frightened somersaults. She bit her lip nervously, the chatter of the class around her was nothing but white noise to her as she continued to become lost in her own thoughts.

"Hey, Mari, are you okay?" Alya asked, snapping Marinette out of her daydreaming again.

"Hmm?" Marinette hummed in confusion as she turned around to face Alya again.

Her best friend was staring at her with an expression of confusion and slight worry on her face. Alya raised an eyebrow at Marinette, her hazel eyes looking her up and down. Marinette couldn't bring herself to care though as she picked up her pen and began absentmindedly tapping it against the desk again. This time, Alya huffed and snatched the pen off her.

"Hey!" Marinette yelled.

"I warned you to stop tapping," Alya said as she held Marinette's pen as far away as possible as she tried to lunge for it, "and I asked you a question, remember?"

Marinette huffed, giving up trying to get her pen back before slouching back in her chair. "Sorry, I was miles away and didn't hear you properly."

"I can see that," Alya noted as she analysed her friend again. "I was asking if everything is okay? You've seemed really distracted lately."

Marinette shrugged. "I'm fine. Though I do wonder if I might be coming down with something."

"Uh huh." Alya smirked. "And are you sure that it has nothing to do with a certain Adrien Agreste?"

"Ssssssh!" Marinette clamped her hand over Alya's mouth before worryingly glancing down at the blond boy sat in front of her who was busy staring down at his work.

Luckily, it didn't look like he had heard anything Alya had just said, which caused Marinette to let out a huge sigh of relief before she shrieked as she felt something wet against the palm of her hand. Marinette quickly whipped her hand away from Alya's mouth as if she had just been burned before blushing as everyone in class turned to stare at them, including Miss Bustier, who looked up from her work with a slight frown on her face, her eyes instantly zeroing in on Marinette and Alya.

"Is everything okay you two?" Miss Bustier asked, looking firm but confused at the same time.

"Errr, yeah, we're fine – sorry," Marinette gasped out, her face growing even hotter under the gaze of all of her classmates, especially after having been called out by the teacher.

Alya just sat there trying hard not to giggle over the whole situation as Marinette wiped her hand against her pink jeans, trying to get all of the Alya germs off her hand as soon as possible. She couldn't believe Alya had just done that and made her look crazy in front of the whole class. Her best friend was so dead. She loved her, but she was dead.

"Well, please try to keep the noise level down or I'll be sending you both to the principal's office," Miss Bustier warned, the whole class sniggering at them before moving on and getting back on with their work and conversing with those around them.

The only person who hadn't seemed to care over what was going on was Adrien. He never once turned around to look at them, instead continuing to stare down at his worksheet, not writing anything in particular. Unable to resist being nosy, Marinette peered over her crush's shoulder, noticing a lot of scribbles on the side of his paper. It didn't seem like Adrien was concentrating at all which was unusual for him. Normally, Adrien loved school. He breezed through all the work, having pretty much already learned all of it himself when he was home-schooled.

But today, Adrien seemed different. He'd been off school for over a week and no one, not even Chloé, knew what was going on. Marinette, Nino, and Alya had called around to his house to check if he was okay, worried that he might be sick, however, Nathalie had simply, and rather coldly, told them to go away and that Adrien wasn't up to seeing anyone.

To be fair though, this wasn't too unusual. Adrien's father was forever pulling him out of school for a variety of reasons. It seemed to be Gabriel's favourite line of punishment whenever Adrien did something he didn't agree with. It also wasn't unusual for the Agreste household to be all enigmatic and secretive. But things seemed even weirder than usual this time.

And ever since he came back to school yesterday, Adrien hadn't been the same. He had been more withdrawn, barely saying a word to anyone, even blanking Nino most of the time. He was polite and answered questions when spoken to, just simply explaining to his friends that he had been ill with the flu, and that's why he had missed several days of school and wasn't allowed to see anybody. But that didn't explain why Adrien was acting so odd all of a sudden. Maybe he'd had another argument with his father?

"Hello? Earth to Marinette!"

Marinette blinked, and her eyes finally refocused back on reality just in time to see Alya waving a hand in front of her face and chuckling slightly as she did so. Looking around in confusion, Marinette's eyes finally settled back on Alya who was smirking at her again before looking towards Adrien and then back again.

"So it is to do with lover-boy!" Alya gasped. "It all makes sense now! You have _both_ been acting weird lately after all."

"What? No!" Marinette protested. "And I can't believe you licked me!"

Alya rolled her eyes. "Don't cover my mouth with your hand then."

Marinette lowered her voice to a harsh whisper. "I only did that so Adrien wouldn't hear you."

"Chillax, Marinette, Adrien seems too distracted to notice what we're talking about." Alya chuckled again. "But just what exactly is he distracted over, hmmm?" Alya leaned towards Marinette with a coy smile on her face.

Marinette waved her off. "Whatever it is, it's got nothing to do with me." She then sighed, her tone growing sad and concerned. "But I am worried about him."

"I'm sure it's just because of tension between him and his father again or something," Alya dismissed.

"I know, I just…I hate to think of him hurting." Marinette gazed at the back of Adrien's head with a worried expression again.

Alya sighed. "Nino's tried to talk to him about it, but Adrien always insists that he's still feeling a bit weak from the flu. I mean, he could be telling the truth for all we know. The guy has rarely interacted with people, it's no wonder sickness hits him hard."

"I guess…"

"And if you're that worried," Alya teased, "you could always go over and talk to him about it."

"Are you nuts?!"

"What? It'll be the perfect way to get talking. Plus, Adrien might find it cute that you're so concerned about him," Alya suggested.

"Or he might find it suffocating and invasive," Marinette countered.

She could just see it now: Adrien getting frustrated with her and thinking she was nosy. Marinette being in his face was probably the last thing that Adrien needed right now. There was nothing that Marinette would love more than to offer Adrien a comforting shoulder and a listening ear if something was indeed bothering him and making him upset. But were they close enough for Marinette to do such a thing? Would he find it weird? Would he be comfortable opening up to her?

Marinette couldn't help but shoot Adrien a worried look again. She wanted to help him, she really did, but she also didn't want to risk making things worse for him. If she was going to try and comfort him and figure out if it really was more than just flu that was bothering him, she would have to be careful about it. If Adrien didn't want to open up to Nino, then why would he want to open up to Marinette?

"Marinette, you're the kindest most sensitive person I know," Alya praised, "so if anyone is going to help Adrien feel better about whatever it is that might be bugging him, it's you."

"I don't know…"

"Seriously, girl, just go for it," Alya urged, "I hate seeing Adrien like this too, and if anyone can help him, it's you."

"Okay," Marinette said as she took a deep breath and forced a smile onto her face, "I'll try."

Alya gave Marinette a playful nudge on the shoulder just as the final bell rang for the day. The class immediately began packing their things away, eager to go home. Everyone immediately began dashing out of the classroom and into the locker rooms to collect all of things they needed, and Adrien was one of the first to dart out of the room, mumbling a quick goodbye to a confused and concerned Nino.

Marinette sighed as she knew there would be no chance of her catching up to him now. If she ran after him, then no doubt it would look weird. He hadn't even spared her and Alya a glance when he had left. It was like the world around him didn't exist. It was like he was on autopilot, going about the day's normal activities, all the while he remained completely switched off from the world.

As Marinette stood up from her desk and swung her backpack over her shoulder, her stomach painfully twisted again. It was so sharp and so sudden that it almost had Marinette doubling over in pain. That strange feeling carried on looming over her. Something didn't feel right. It was like Marinette suddenly felt out of sync with the rest of the world. A dark sense of anticipation consumed her, like waiting for a jump-scare in a horror movie or waiting for the roller coaster to go plummeting downwards. Only nothing ever came. So the anticipation only built up to dizzying proportions, causing a lump for form in Marinette's throat that she just couldn't swallow back.

"Hey, dude, are you okay?" Nino asked, him and Alya having both frozen as they had started walking down the steps towards the front of the now empty class, noticing that Marinette had not started to follow them.

Marinette gulped. "Y-yeah…I'm fine…"

"Are you sure?" Alya asked. "You're looking a little pale."

"Maybe I definitely am coming down with something. Sorry, I just…I've been feeling strange all day," Marinette tried to explain as best as she could.

"So we've noticed," Alya tried to joke, however, there was no denying the slight concern that seeped into her tone.

"I'm sure I'll be fine," Marinette tried to reassure herself more than her friends, "I think I just need a relaxing evening and an early night."

"If you say so," Alya responded, reaching to grab hold of Nino's hand as they all finally began heading out of class together.

Meanwhile, Marinette trailed along behind the pair of them, staring down at her feet as she walked. Her stomach continued to twist and contort while Marinette did her best to ignore it. However, that was difficult when it kept sending shockwaves around the rest of her body, causing her fingers and toes to tingle slightly. It really did feel like she was about to receive some bad news or something. But everything was so normal. This day had been about as normal as a day could get. The only thing that was slightly out of the ordinary was Adrien's behaviour, yet there was likely a perfectly logical explanation for that.

The crisp autumn air hit Marinette's face as soon as she exited the school, and she couldn't help but once again stare up at the brilliant yellow sky. That was until she bumped into Alya's still form in front of her, snapping Marinette out of her deep thoughts. She frowned in confusion, looking down to meet Alya's eyes as she subtly motioned with her head to look to the side.

Marinette followed Alya's instructions and looked down to her left to see Adrien sat on the steps to the school, resting his chin on his hand and his elbow on his knee. From this angle, Marinette couldn't see his face, but judging by the way he was just sitting there, Marinette could now definitely tell that there had to be something more than illness that was bothering him.

Nino and Alya then quickly dashed off, leaving Marinette all alone with Adrien just a few steps down in front of her. The breeze was chilly, and Marinette was surprised that Adrien wasn't feeling cold just sat there in his typical attire. Surely that had to be a bad idea, especially if he had been ill with the flu.

Marinette watched as Adrien's shoulders sagged even more. Her heart broke, and she wanted nothing more right now than to be able to wrap her arms around him and reassure him that everything was going to be okay. It hurt her that he was hurting. But even though she couldn't embrace him, she could still at least try to help and be there for him as a friend.

"H-hey, Adrien," Marinette stuttered awkwardly and nervously as she approached him from behind, slowly bending down so that she was sat next to him on the steps.

Adrien seemed startled by her presence, but he didn't look up at her. Marinette could now see his face properly, and she had to contain her gasp at what she saw. His face was ghostly pale, almost translucent, and his eyes looked hollow and dead. His hair was slightly darker and unkempt, like he hadn't washed or brushed it properly in days. He had large, dark circles under his eyes, and his whole form looked willowy and fragile, as if he would snap like a twig at the simplest touch.

It appeared that words became stuck in his throat, rendering him unable to reply. Meanwhile, Marinette twiddled her fingers, trying to think of something to say. She really didn't want to come across like she was trying to pry into his personal life, but at the same time, Adrien was her friend, and she wanted to make sure that he was okay at least. Though to be honest, he looked far from okay right now.

"W-what are you still doing here?" Marinette tried to start a conversation. It was very odd that Adrien was still here after all.

"My bodyguard got stuck in traffic and is late picking me up," Adrien explained in a monotone voice.

"Oh – ummm – that sucks."

"Yeah."

Marinette bit her lip, trying to desperately think of a way to keep the conversation going. "You could – errr – you could always come over to my house and wait? I'd hate to think of you sitting out here in the cold all on your own."

"That's very kind of you," Adrien sighed out, "but my bodyguard will be here any minute now and I need to be straight off to a photoshoot my father needs me to attend."

"Umm, okay," Marinette mumbled.

There were a few seconds of awkward silence between the two of them.

"So – errr – how have you been?" Marinette asked. "I heard you had the flu?"

"Yeah."

Marinette stared at the side of Adrien's face sadly before she looked down towards the ground, pulling her jacket tighter around herself as the breeze once again picked up slightly. Adrien, however, seemed completely unphased by everything that was going on around him. Marinette could see goosebumps starting to form on his bare arms, but he didn't seem bothered at all by the cold. Judging by his distant eyes and blank expression, Marinette was willing to bet that Adrien was lost in his own mind right now.

"Adrien…I have a feeling there's a lot more to this than just the flu. I don't mean to pry, but…you haven't exactly been yourself lately." Marinette found the words leaving her mouth before she could stop herself. "I'm really worried about you, Adrien, we all are. You don't have to tell me or anyone what's wrong if you don't want to, but I at least want to know that you're okay."

Adrien turned around to face Marinette for the first time all day. His eyes were slightly wide, but other than that, his expression still remained blank in an almost perfect poker face. His eyes were difficult to read, no matter how much Marinette tried to scan them, ignoring the growing heat in her face as she did so. She couldn't let her embarrassment and awkwardness get to her right now. Adrien needed her, and she needed to remain serious.

"I-I'm fine…" Adrien answered, his voice going slightly higher, "I-I just have a lot going on right now."

"I see," Marinette murmured. "Do you want to talk about it? Get anything off your chest?"

Adrien sighed, his expression turning dark. "You have no idea."

"Is it something to do with your father?"

Adrien chuckled humourlessly. "Something like that." He was silent for a few moments before he spoke again. "Do you ever just wish you could turn back the clock? That you could have done things differently? When you find yourself stuck in a hole that you've dug for yourself, and now you're trapped and you can't get out? When you know you're doing something bad, but you just can't stop yourself, especially when you're doing it for someone you love?"

Marinette's eyes widened as she didn't know what to say.

"Sorry," Adrien groaned as he leaned further forward to run his fingers through his hair. "I guess it all just kinda burst out of me. I didn't mean to bombard you like that."

"No, no, it's okay," Marinette quickly reassured him, "if ranting helps, then rant to me as much as you want. I can be your chief person thingy that you can rant to…" Marinette trailed off, wanting to slap herself for sounding so weird.

Adrien shot her an odd look before smiling at her sadly. "Thanks, Marinette. You're a good friend."

Marinette tried to pretend like she hadn't just been shot in the heart right that second. But she was glad that Adrien seemed to be starting to open up to her, and that he trusted her enough to rant to her about his problems. Even if he did just see her as friend, Marinette would take what she could get, and no matter how Adrien felt about her, she would always be there for him.

"It'll all be over soon anyway," Adrien continued, "I'm going to sort everything out."

"That's the spirit!" Marinette tried to happily encourage.

"It's going to be tough, but there's some things that I just have to do. It has to be this way. It's the only way I can –" Adrien cut himself off, looking away before balling his hands into tight fists.

Marinette tilted her head to one side, but decided not to push him for more information. It was definitely clear that Adrien had indeed had a lot on his mind lately. It kind of almost reminded Marinette of the way Chat Noir had been behaving lately. He too had been acting really strange lately, and the way he had held her last night…it was almost like…he was saying goodbye. It had given Marinette the chills, but she tried not to think too much about it. Maybe it had just been his way of apologising for being so snappy and weird with her lately.

"I'm sure you can do it," Marinette reassured. "Whatever it is that you need to do, I have every faith in you."

"But how do I know that I'm doing the right thing?" Adrien asked, still looking away.

"Well, sometimes we just _don't_ know these things," Marinette sighed out, "sometimes we just have to roll that dice and deal with the outcome. As long as you're not purposefully hurting anyone, then I suppose all you can do is listen to your gut and try and make sure that you get the best possible outcome."

"I never knew you were so wise, Marinette." Adrien turned around, attempting to smile at her, but failed miserably.

Marinette shrugged. "I don't really think so."

"You are," Adrien reassured her, "and you've helped me make up my mind. Though I'm not going to lie, I'm still terrified."

Marinette returned his reassurance. "I'm sure everything will work out fine. Trust yourself."

However, Marinette's breath soon hitched in her throat she felt Adrien's warm hand wrap around her own. It sent shivers up her spine, and sent a tingling sensation around the rest of her body. It was like she had just been electrocuted, but Marinette managed to stop herself from instinctively pulling away. Her shock soon settled down though, and the shivering and tingling were soon replaced by warm waves, as if she had laid down on the shore of a tropical beach, the ocean washing over her as she basked in the heat of the sun.

Adrien smiled down at her, though his smile still looked incredibly strained. So many thoughts danced around behind his eyes, and Marinette longed to catch a glimpse of what he might be thinking. She wished that she knew what had him so worried and afraid. She longed to be by his side as he faced it, helping him and supporting him. She hated the thought of him being scared and on his own. She wished that she could take Adrien's pain away and that she was suffering in his place.

But Marinette didn't get a chance to ask Adrien more about what was going on. She didn't get the chance to enjoy the moment of his large hand engulfing hers, as it wasn't long before Adrien's bodyguard pulled up next to the school in his usual silver car. Her heart sank, and by the looks of it, so did Adrien's, as his face immediately drained of colour upon sight of the car.

Adrien turned back towards Marinette. "Well…I guess I better go."

Yet, Adrien made no move to head towards the car, nor let go of Marinette's hand.

"You sure?" Marinette half-joked. "Because you can always hide out with me at my place?"

Adrien chuckled, but it sounded more sad than amused. "Don't tempt me," he said before slowly standing up as his bodyguard got out of the car and made his way around to open the door for him.

They were still holding hands as Adrien began to walk away, their arms reaching out towards each other, their fingers still clinging together. But it wasn't long before their grasp on each other loosened, hands straining to reach for each other and still hold on. Soon, their fingers finally parted, and they were no longer touching each other. Adrien's hand swung limply back down to his side while Marinette's still hung in the air, reaching out for him as she watched his retreating form.

He didn't look back at her, not even once. He didn't even say goodbye.

Marinette could feel her heart aching as she watched him climb into his car. His face was once again completely blank and devoid of emotion. His eyes were hidden behind his hair, and he continued to stare straight ahead as his bodyguard climbed back into the driver's seat before speeding them both off.

Unable to move or think properly, Marinette sat on the steps of the school for a while longer, her hand still warm and tingling from Adrien holding it. She stroked it with her other thumb, cradling it and staring down at it, unable to believe or process what had just happened. Adrien had held her hand. And it was even better than she had dreamed it would be. It was just a shame that the whole thing had happened because Adrien was upset over something.

But Marinette soon stared off to where he had disappeared, feeling slightly happy that she seemed to have managed to help Adrien out slightly. That had been what she had set out to do. Though she couldn't help but wonder what he meant by everything that he said. It was all rather enigmatic. But whatever it was, Adrien now seemed more sure over how he was going to deal with things. Marinette considered that a huge achievement, and for the first time in a while, she felt like she and Adrien had bonded a little bit more and grown closer. She felt like she had finally seen a more vulnerable side of him and was now truly getting to know him. And that only made her love him more.

Marinette didn't feel like anything could spoil this day for her now.

Feeling elated, but still retaining that strange feeling in her stomach, Marinette got up and began to skip home, flexing the fingers of the hand that Adrien had held just moments before. She could still almost feel its grip on her, and it continued to send warm waves up her arm and into her heart, which was still beating rapidly over the whole thing.

Trying to get herself to focus again, Marinette opened the door to the bakery, whistling to herself as she closed the door behind her. However, Marinette hadn't made it far in when she noticed her mother struggling to move a huge sack of flour around. Smiling, she quickly dashed over to help her mother, who was startled slightly by the sudden ease at which she could move the flour around, though it wasn't long before she noticed why.

"Oh, you're finally home, dear," Sabine grunted as they both pushed the flour into the corner of the room, ready for Marinette's father to use when he opened the bakery again in the morning.

"Yeah, sorry, I got talking to a friend," Marinette explained as she dusted herself off.

"That's alright," Sabine said as she looked around the bakery to see if anything else needed doing before turning back to her daughter. "Thank you for the help, sweetheart. Where would I be without you."

She pinched Marinette's cheeks who playfully swatted them away before kissing her mother on the cheek.

"Good thing I'm not going anywhere then," Marinette joked as she began to head towards the stairs.

"Oh, dinner will be a bit later tonight," her mother quickly explained, "I need to head out now to help your father with some supplies. You'll be alright on your own for a few hours?"

Marinette rolled her eyes. "I'll be fine, mom, what could happen?"

"Alright." Sabine smiled before getting ready to leave. "I'll see you soon, sweetheart."

"Bye," Marinette called as she began to run up the stairs and into their apartment.

She headed straight up to her room like she usually did just after school, dumping her bag down on her chaise lounge before collapsing on top of it herself. School always took it out of Marinette, and it made her wish that she was as smart as Adrien was. With the little akuma attacks they'd been having lately, Marinette could almost feel herself adjusting to normal life again. In fact, today was the most normal she had ever felt. That was until her beloved kwami Tikki made an appearance.

"Did you hear everything that happened, Tikki?" Marinette asked, unable to keep the squeal out of her voice as Tikki headed towards where Marinette kept all the cookies. "Adrien held my hand!"

"That's great, Marinette," Tikki mumbled with her mouth full.

"I mean, don't get me wrong," Marinette continued to babble, "I feel awful that Adrien feels so sad, but…he held my hand!"

Tikki smiled and shook her head before taking another huge bite out of the cookie.

Marinette then sighed. "I just wish I could have been of more help to him. I wish I could have made him feel one hundred percent better. All I really did was behave like an idiot, yet Adrien still seemed to find comfort in what I said. I wish I could be there for him more."

"Well, maybe you will be in the future," Tikki reassured her. "I was really proud of the way you handled talking to him today. Not too much stuttering, and you were just being yourself and being there for him. I know that Adrien really appreciated that."

"Do you really think so?"

Tikki nodded.

Marinette sighed happily and relaxed back into her chaise, staring up at her ceiling with a dopey grin on her face. For the first time, it felt like things were finally starting to move forward. Like her life was now finally starting to head in a completely positive direction. Right now, Marinette felt like she was on top of the world and like she could conquer anything.

She turned her head slightly to stare at her latest designs. Maybe one day, she could impress Gabriel Agreste enough that he would hire her. Then she would be able to work closely with her favourite fashion designer and get to hang out with his model son. The two of them would grow closer as he would wear and model some of her designs. All of her dreams would come true. She would get her happily ever after.

"Huh, I wonder what's going on over there?"

The sound of Tikki's voice interrupted Marinette's daydreaming. She turned around, feeling slightly disgruntled over having been disturbed, when her eyes caught sight of what Tikki was talking about. Marinette sat up and blinked at the strange looking clouds in the sky. The day had been mostly clear, and rain wasn't forecast, so it made no sense as to why there were huge dark clouds in the distance.

Marinette heaved herself up before walking towards her window where Tikki was sat observing the clouds. Squinting, Marinette watched as the dark clouds rose into the air, swirling around as they ascended from what appeared to be an orange glow in the distance.

Wait…those weren't clouds…

"It's smoke!" Marinette cried out in horror and confusion.

"Smoke?" Tikki repeated, sounding just as confused. "But what could cause that much smoke?"

"Let's find out," Marinette mumbled nervously as she switched her computer on.

Immediately, news filled her screen of an akuma alert, which only made Marinette panic even more. She should have known. She should have known that it wouldn't be long before Hawkmoth attacked again. He had been quiet for way too long. Marinette should have been more alert. She should have been keeping a better watch over things. Now that akuma had been raging around the city for goodness knows how long, all the while she had been squealing over what happened between her and Adrien today.

It appeared that there was a live broadcast covering what was going on, and Marinette wasted no time in clicking play.

"Parisians flee in terror as the city is attacked by what is possibly the most dangerous and deadly akuma yet," Nadja's voice instantly filled Marinette's room. "It appears that this akuma has the ability to control fire, and his main target appears to be the Agreste mansion."

Marinette and Tikki gasped in horror as the camera zoomed in on the fire that was beginning to surround Adrien's home.

"It is not known whether Gabriel Agreste and his son, Adrien, are in the house. Fire fighters are attempting to control the fire, but at the moment it's looking like a losing battle. Chat Noir is already on the scene, however, there is still no sign of Ladybug –"

Nadja's voice was cut off by Marinette quickly shutting off her computer.

"We've got to get there, Tikki!" Marinette yelled desperately. "I can't let him hurt Adrien or anybody else!"

"Be careful, Marinette," Tikki warned, "this akuma looks especially dangerous."

Marinette ignored her, desperate to get going and save Adrien. "Tikki, spots on!"

Ladybug had barely given her transformation time to finish before she was leaping out of her balcony door and flying through the city as fast as she could. She could smell the smoke in the air even from her apartment, and that only caused Ladybug's heart rate to skyrocket. If only she had been paying attention. She could have gotten the alert sooner and she could have been there in time to stop the akuma.

As she pushed herself towards the scene as fast as possible, Ladybug prayed to every god that she could think of that nobody was in the house and that they were all safe. The smoke in the air continued to grow thicker and thicker, and soon, Ladybug couldn't help but cough as it began to fill her lungs the closer she got to the blaze. The distant orange glow grew brighter, and it wasn't long before Ladybug could see the tall flames rising into the air, completely surrounding the mansion.

Fear completely engulfed her, and Ladybug began to lose all sense of rational thought. What if Adrien _was_ in there? He must be terrified right now. She had to get there! She had to make sure that he was okay. She couldn't believe that Hawkmoth had given someone powers this dangerous. She would definitely have to make sure that she put a stop to this akuma before it could cause any more damage and endanger anyone else.

The mansion soon came into view, and it was completely surrounded by flames. The air was thick with black smoke, causing Ladybug to cough and choke as she landed on the adjacent building, watching the scene unfold with wide eyes. Her heart was beating so fast, that Ladybug was worried she was going to go into cardiac arrest.

A loud knocking sound echoed within her ears, causing her to shake her head slightly in confusion and alarm. The noise was so loud, that it could only have resonated right next to her. However, when Ladybug looked around, she couldn't see anything. It was just her standing alone on the roof.

However, Ladybug soon focused her attention back on the fire, the heat of the flames radiating against her face. She stared at the house in horror, knowing that Adrien could be trapped in there somewhere. She just had to rescue him! She had to stop this akuma! She had to find Chat Noir! Everyone was in danger! It was all resting on her!

Ladybug leapt forward, however, it was like her whole body was suddenly made out of lead. She floated slowly through the air, the fire and the mansion growing ever more distant.

 _Marinette._

Ladybug gasped at the sound of someone calling her name. The scene before her continued to shrink as she remained floating in the air, her stomach then twisting in fear as the flames rose up even higher, heating up her whole body, making her feel like she had just been placed on top of a giant stove.

It was too hot! She was on fire!

She was too hot!

 _Marinette!_

All Ladybug could do was scream as the flames engulfed her, scorching and burning off her skin.

"Marinette!"

* * *

 **I'd kinda been dreading writing this chapter because I really wanted to try and get it right, so I hope that you guys feel like I did a good job. Please feel free to let me know your thoughts in a review as it always helps me out a great deal. I hope you guys have an awesome week!**

 **Also, I decided to go with the idea of creating a Taurus Pixie Twitter account. It is now brand new and up and running. So now if you have a question that you want quickly answered, want to message me, keep up with what I'm up to and when I'll be updating, you can now follow me and interact with me! My username is Taurus_Pixie.**


	26. A Big Mess

**Oopsie daisy. I really didn't mean to make you guys wait over two weeks for an update. If you keep up with my blog then you know exactly what happened last week. And this week, I've been having a few technical problems with my laptop and the software on it, which prevented me from finishing this chapter for Monday like I had originally planned. Oy vey. But luckily, despite being tired, being ill, and the temperature of my house being below freezing, I finally managed to get it done. Thank you so much for being patient with me, and thank you for all of your awesome reviews! They always really help me out!**

* * *

 **Chapter 26: A Big Mess**

Marinette gasped as her eyes shot open, causing her to be instantly blinded by the sun shining brightly in her face. She quickly shut her eyes again and groaned, bringing her hands up to cover her face. Her whole body was covered in a layer of sweat as the sun began to bake her inside her blankets. It was too hot. It was way too hot. She was burning again!

Yelping in panic, Marinette suddenly sat bolt upright, desperate to try and get away from the intense heat and away from the fire. However, Marinette didn't manage to sit up very far when her forehead instantly, and painfully, collided with something hard.

"GAH!"

"OUCH!" another familiar voice cried out as Marinette allowed her head to fall back against the pillow, rubbing her now sore forehead with her fingers.

"Chat?" Marinette questioned, worried and confused as she brought her hand away from her forehead so that she could try and see what was going on.

She felt completely disorientated, but it wasn't long before her eyes rested on Chat Noir sat at the other end of her bed. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut, and he was still groaning to himself as he nursed his head by rubbing it like Marinette had been doing. He was hunched over in the tight space, and Marinette looked around the rest of her room, confused as to what was going on. Her dream, her nightmare, her memory blurred her reality, and she had no idea what she was doing, what time it was, or even what day it was.

Her heart continued to pound in her chest as she tried to force herself to sit upright once again, much more slowly this time just in case she accidentally headbutted Chat Noir again. At the thought of Chat, memories from the previous night finally came back to her. He had been so kind to her, he had taken her to watch the sun set from the top of the Eiffel Tower. It contrasted so much with the Chat Noir she had grown to hate over the years. He really was acting like his old self lately.

Her dream only served to reinforce the fact that something had gone terribly wrong somewhere with Chat Noir. She knew for a while that he had been acting strange. If only she had done something about it. She could have saved them from all of this. However, she couldn't focus on that fact until she knew for sure. Chat Noir seemed more comfortable and normal around her than he ever had before. Last night was like she had stepped directly back into the past. She thought it would have her running scared. That it would repulse her. But it didn't.

Instead it felt…nice.

It reminded Marinette that she could be happy and that she could have fun. Chat Noir seemed to be bringing her out of the shell she had long been hiding inside. Ironically, Chat Noir had been one of the main causes of her breakdown, but now, he also seemed to be the cure.

Normally, Marinette would have awoken screaming from such a dream. She hated it when she closed her eyes and her brain sent her back to what happened before…to what happened that night. It mocked and tortured her. Marinette could never escape from it. Every morning she would wake up terrified, feeling the fear she had felt that night. And while she still did experience all of those things, Marinette almost felt like she could face it. That she could stare that fear in the face and ride it out.

These past few weeks, she had been feeling much worse than normal, but now, it was like Marinette could almost see a light at the end of the tunnel. And all of this had happened since Chat Noir had come back into her life…

Shocked and still slightly confused, Marinette once again turned back to gaze at Chat Noir who was still busy groaning in pain, completely oblivious to the strange realisation that Marinette had just had. A split second had past, yet Marinette had realised so much. She didn't quite understand what was going on, but at the moment she was just elated to be awake and away from those dreadful memories. That's all they were: memories. They didn't have to define her. She didn't have to re-live them day by day and let them control her. She would have to face them. Especially on today of all days.

Without thinking, Marinette launched herself forward and wrapped her arms around Chat Noir as tightly as she could. He stumbled back slightly in surprise before he slowly wrapped his arms around her in return. Pressing her ear against his heart, Marinette squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as possible, just focusing on that one soothing sound to remind her that she was in the here and now. She wasn't back there. She was in the present, and she knew so much more now than she did before. She knew there was more to Chat Noir's actions than met the eye. She was grateful that he had woken her up and rescued her. She would figure things out. Then she could hopefully get on with her life.

"Of all the strange greetings I've ever had, yours is definitely the weirdest." Chat Noir chuckled as Marinette quickly pulled away in slight embarrassment. "First you assault me, then you hug me out of nowhere. I must say I'm getting very mixed messages here, princess."

Her cheeks turned pink and she rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. "S-sorry…I…I was having…"

Chat Noir's expression softened as he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, sending a pleasant electrical tingle down her spine. Marinette forced herself to repress a shudder, but she still couldn't help leaning into his touch slightly, enjoying the feelings of warmth it brought her. She had pushed people away for too long that she had almost forgotten what a comforting touch felt like, not paying attention when people did offer it to her, her body completely shutting down, refusing to register it.

"It's okay, I know," Chat Noir said quietly. "That's why I was trying to wake you up."

"Have you been here all night?" Marinette questioned, the last thing she remembered last night being Chat Noir carrying her through the city and back into her room.

Chat suddenly looked slightly uncomfortable for some reason. "Errr, yeah."

"You didn't have to stay with me all night," Marinette commented, feeling a little awkward about the whole thing. She was touched, but at the same time, it was still a little weird. Did he sleep? Where had he slept? Did he hang out outside on her balcony? Or did he just watch her sleep all night? His appearance did look a little more dishevelled than normal, so any of the options she thought of could be possible.

"Sorry. I just mainly hung out on your balcony all night," Chat explained, looking away from her. "But it was getting late, and I noticed that you were tossing and turning and figured that you were, y'know. So I thought you would probably want to be woken up. Plus you looked really uncomfortable and like you were overheating or something, and no wonder if you sleep in those sweatshirts," Chat pointed out, frowning at her attire. "Seriously, why don't you sleep in something, I dunno, a bit more revealing?"

Marinette's face flushed bright red and she aggressively threw one of her pillows over at him. "You pervert!"

"What?!" Chat shrieked as he dodged the pillow. "No! T-that's not what I meant!" His face also turned bright red. "I just meant if you didn't wear clothes that were as thick and showed off a bit more skin – eeeek!" He immediately shrunk and covered his face defensively as Marinette threatened to throw another pillow at him.

"Keep talking, Kitty, I'm sure there's holes even _you_ can't claw your way out of," Marinette joked, still holding the pillow in the air, ready to throw at him if he said one more wrong thing. Her face was still warm though, and her whole body still felt incredibly hot from having the sun beaming down directly onto her which wasn't helping.

"You know what I mean!" Chat Noir begged, still hiding himself.

Marinette chuckled, finally lowering the pillow, leading to Chat Noir straightening up and sighing with relief. Marinette didn't think she had ever seen Chat Noir's face look so red. He tried to hide it beneath his hair though, but it wasn't enough. However, it was beginning to gradually turn into a lighter shade of pink, and his awkward expression began to morph into one of concern as he continued to stare at her sweatshirt.

"Seriously though, how can you even sleep in those things?" Chat asked.

Marinette frowned, looking away from him. "Don't diss my sweatshirts."

"Oh come on, even you can't deny that they're uncomfortable to sleep in. You were burning up when I got back," Chat commented.

"Got back?" Marinette turned to look back at him with a confused expression. "I thought you said you never left?"

Chat Noir's eyes widened for a split second before he rubbed the back of his head, glancing up to his left. "I did – I didn't! I just meant when I came back into your room from being on your balcony all night, that's all."

Marinette furrowed her eyebrows, shuffling herself further towards him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah!" Chat answered a little too quickly. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Just checking." Marinette narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "Wait…you said earlier that it was getting late…" Marinette then gasped in horror. "What time is it?!"

"I dunno, like midday or something?" Chat shrugged.

Marinette shrieked and immediately pushed past Chat Noir, grabbing her phone off her shelf as she left. As she climbed down her ladder, she switched her phone on to see that Chat Noir's guess had indeed been correct. It was nearly one in the afternoon. She couldn't believe she had slept in so late. Granted she had been up late with Chat Noir, but still! She was so doomed!

Still squealing to herself, Marinette ran over to her sink and immediately began brushing her teeth, staring at the blank wall where her mirror used to be in horror. She brushed her teeth at lightning speed, panicking over how far behind schedule she was. Once she had finished doing that, she ran back into the middle of her room, grabbing the hem of her sweatshirt as she did so, ready to pull it over her head and put some fresh clothes on.

However, she quickly gasped and stopped herself, turning back to wordlessly face a puzzled Chat Noir, suddenly remembering that he was there. She had been so panicked that she had almost forgotten that he was present. She had almost stupidly…

Shaking her head, Marinette quickly grabbed some clean clothes from her drawers and ran downstairs to get changed in the bathroom. She would just have to do her best to try and ignore the mirror that was in there. Upon finishing that, she ran into the kitchen, nearly slamming into the counter as she skidded across the tiles, clumsily dropping a pile of baking trays as she hurriedly pulled them out from the drawer underneath the oven.

"Have you finally cracked?" Chat Noir joked while also sounding slightly serious and worried at the same time.

"No, but I will do if I don't manage to get all of this finished!" Marinette yelled in panic before wincing as she banged her head as the edge of the cupboard that she had been rummaging through.

Growling to herself, Marinette slammed the door shut before looking in the one next to it, sighing with relief when she finally spotted the flour. She was worried that she would have had to dash down into the bakery to get some. She really didn't want to face anyone right now, let alone her parents. Weirdly, Chat Noir was the only person she could bring herself to be around today. She knew what day it was. She had known that it was coming for weeks. But that didn't mean that she wanted to think about it. Despite being incredibly stressed, Marinette was grateful for the distraction.

"Why, what's going on? Why are you suddenly raiding your kitchen?" Chat asked, still looking at her like she was crazy as he leaned over the breakfast bar and watched her.

"It's Kim's birthday party tomorrow and Alya nominated me to bake the cake," Marinette sighed out as she began rummaging through the fridge, pulling out all of the ingredients she thought she was going to need.

She wasn't really sure what kind of cake she was going to make him yet. She had honestly completely forgotten about it until this point. She cursed Alya for making her do this. She knew her best friend was only trying to help, of course it would make sense that Marinette should be the one to make the cake, but still. She was only forcing herself to do this for Kim's sake. As much as it pained her to be doing this, she still didn't want to let Kim down. Marinette hated baking now. She hated anything creative. For these past few years, she had no motivation to do anything like this. But now she was being forced to. But Marinette supposed, just like she had thought a few moments ago, it would provide her with a good distraction today.

Marinette turned around to place the armful of ingredients she now had on the counter before looking up and pausing upon catching sight of Chat Noir. He was staring straight ahead with a completely blank expression on his face. Marinette continued to watch him, slightly worried that he had turned into a statue while she had had her back turned or something.

Finally, Chat Noir blinked, and Marinette let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding when he glanced down to look at her. He furrowed his eyebrows at her worried expression before leaning on his elbows and slouching forward.

"What?" he asked.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Marinette asked, leaning further forward herself to get a better look at his facial expression.

"Yes, I'm fine," Chat insisted, plastering on a smile that seemed fake to Marinette.

She narrowed her eyes at him, watching and waiting to see if maybe he would finally possibly reveal what was bugging him. Something was wrong, Marinette could easily tell. She knew Chat Noir too well. She always knew when something was upsetting him or when something was on his mind. Though Marinette wasn't too sure what it could be if he hadn't left her apartment the entire night.

Chat Noir didn't appear to be budging though, so finally, Marinette sighed and was about to turn around and get back on with her work when she gasped as Chat Noir suddenly tightly grabbed hold of her hand, clinging onto it almost as if it was like a lifeline. Eyes wide, Marinette turned back around to face him, and her heart broke at his facial expression. He once again looked like the Chat Noir she used to know, only this time with the added look of a lost and scared young boy. His eyes were silently pleading with her, and Marinette could just about see the horror and emptiness in them that she felt on a regular basis. It was almost as if her own eyes were staring back at her, eyes that had seen the same things she had. It spooked her, and Marinette couldn't help but stumble backwards slightly, but luckily, Chat Noir's grip kept her from falling far.

"It's just…" Chat Noir began, the words seemingly becoming stuck in his throat. "Do you mind if I stay with you today? I really _really_ don't want to be left on my own today."

Marinette smiled softly at him and took and step towards him again, placing her other free hand on top of the one that was squeezing hers so tightly. He seemed to relax slightly under her touch, and Marinette forced herself to look back into his eyes again, despite how much they were beginning to remind her of everything again.

She should have known. She should have thought. It wouldn't just be her that would be suffering today, Chat Noir would be too. Whatever had happened to him that day, it was the anniversary of that too. Whatever had forced him to change sides, it had happened today. So today would be a tough day for him too. That's why he hadn't left her. That's why he was lingering around her now. He wanted a distraction too.

"You don't even have to ask," Marinette reassured him, before letting go of his hands and organising all of the items in front of her.

She noticed Chat visibly relax even more in front of her, and she could suddenly feel her heart rate begin to pick up. Could she really do this? Could she hang out with the very person who had caused all of this? Who had caused this very day to be one filled with terrifying memories? But…it didn't seem like he had meant for it to be this way. It seemed like Hawkmoth had gotten to him somehow. If regretting everything that happened was all just an act, then it was a very good one. And Marinette remembered how hard it had been for Chat Noir to act like everything was okay before he had turned on her. He was a lousy actor, Marinette knew that.

Marinette just wished that she knew what had really happened that night. She wished that Chat Noir had opened up to her beforehand. She wished that he would open up to her now. But she knew that was going to take time, if not be down right near impossible. She had her own secrets. Her own secrets that she wasn't prepared to give up. Maybe Chat Noir felt exactly the same. Maybe Marinette would never find out the truth.

So what was the point in allowing him to stick around? She had promised herself that once she found out the truth from him, she would make sure that he was out of her life forever and that she would move on. So why wasn't she kicking Chat Noir out right now? He should be the last person that Marinette wanted around her, today of all days.

Yet she couldn't bring herself to do it. At the thought of yelling at him and demanding that he leave, her heart felt like it skipped a beat in her chest, causing her to gasp for air and recoil slightly as if she had just been punched in the chest. The thought of doing such a thing had her shattered and withered heart screaming at her with its last ounce of strength. It was like an elastic band had been tied around her chest, and the further Chat Noir was away from her, the more the band pulled and strained, trying to force her to be near him again to ease that strain. The thought of him not being near sent a wave of fear that came crashing over her, causing her insides to flip and make her feel like she was drowning. It was like she needed him to breathe all of a sudden. Like he was the only person who could save her from everything she was feeling. She _needed_ him. Just like he had said he needed her at the very beginning of all of this. Was this what he had been talking about?

"Whoa! Marinette, be careful!" Chat Noir's cries suddenly snapped Marinette out of her daydreaming.

Her hand suddenly felt incredibly wet and slimy, and she looked down to see that she had squeezed the egg she didn't realise she was holding so tightly that it had begun to crack and leak all over her hand. She yelped and quickly dropped it onto the counter, staring at her now egg covered hand in annoyance.

"Question is, are _you_ okay?" Chat Noir asked as he rushed around to help her clean up.

"Y-yeah, sorry, I was just trying to come up with a cake idea," Marinette lied, dashing over to the sink to rinse her hand. Chat Noir grabbed some tissues and began cleaning up the mess she had made on the counter. He kept shooting her concerned glances that Marinette did her best to ignore. She needed to be careful. If she acted too weird today, there might be a chance that Chat Noir would catch on.

"Do you need any help?" Chat offered as he threw the used tissue away.

"Huh?"

"With the cake?"

"After what happened the last time I let you loose in my kitchen?" Marinette chuckled. "No way."

"Aww, please," Chat begged, dropping onto his knees next to her and clasping his hands together. He pouted at her, trying to look as cute as possible.

Marinette stared at him, completely taken aback by his playful behaviour. He stared at her intensely, and Marinette couldn't help but become lost in his eyes for a few seconds. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, and she could feel her palms becoming sweaty as she gripped the edge of the sink. A strange, feather light feeling overpowered her, and she almost felt like she was floating through a warm sky, surrounded by beautiful fluffy clouds.

She quickly shook her head though before she smirked and chuckled, reaching down to playfully ruffle Chat Noir's hair and scratch the back of one of his leather ears as if he was an actual cat. He purposefully let out a loud purr as a response, which only made Marinette giggle even more. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, moving his head against her hand like a real cat would.

"Silly kitty," Marinette laughed before loudly sighing. "Fiiiine! You can help. But don't do anything without my permission," she warned, grabbing a wooden spoon to point it at him.

"Yes, chef!" He jumped to his feet and saluted, causing Marinette to laugh again.

"Oh, but wait, what if your parents come up?" Chat Noir glanced towards the front door.

"They won't," Marinette reassured. "They would have already had their lunch, and they've been pretty busy with the bakery lately. It's why they couldn't help me with this cake." Marinette then sighed in frustration before collapsing onto one of the stools. "A cake that I've yet to think of an idea for and probably won't even be made at this rate."

"Oh come on, that doesn't sound like you," Chat hopped onto the stool next to her. "Normally you're great at coming up with ideas. You were always so creative."

"Yeah, well I have no creativity left." Marinette slammed her head down against the counter.

She could feel Chat Noir silently staring at her for a few seconds before he spoke up again. "Didn't that hurt?"

"Yes," Marinette moaned, raising her head so she could rub the spot she had stupidly slammed against a tiled counter.

Chat Noir sighed and shook his head. "The last thing you need right now is less braincells. Then how would you come up with an idea? Maybe you should just think about what Kim likes and –"

"That's it! Chat you're a genius!" Marinette yelled as she immediately hopped down from her stool.

"I am?" Chat questioned. "I mean, of course I am! I am the amazing Chat Noir after all!"

However, Marinette ignored him as she raced back up to her bedroom. The question was, where had she hidden it after all these years? She didn't remember throwing it away like she had a lot of her old stuff. Despite wanting to, for some reason, she just couldn't bring herself to part with it. It was way too special to her and held so many memories. And she always told herself that she might need it again one day, despite things looking so bleak and hopeless at the time.

Frowning to herself in concentration, Marinette began rummaging through every corner of her room, throwing things in random directions in the hopes of finding what she was looking for. She vaguely noticed Chat Noir's head popping up from outside the door that led to her room, and she could feel his eyes on her as she continued to search her room.

"What are you doing?" Chat asked, looking completely bewildered as he pulled one of Marinette's old shirts off his face that she had accidentally thrown onto him. He placed it down on the floor before he went back to watching her.

"Searching for something," Marinette tried to explain while she was busy concentrating on a pile of old fashion projects that she had never gotten around to throwing away at the back of her closet. "Ah ha!" Marinette then yelled as her hands finally collided with something hard that was right at the bottom of the pile.

She grabbed onto the edge of it and pulled it out, smiling at her old friend happily. Her old sketchbook had certainly seen better days, but it would do. She then grabbed a pencil from her desk and dashed back towards her bedroom door, and Chat quickly jumped out of the way, allowing her to climb down. She then sat back down on the same stool as before with Chat Noir following her every move, still confused over what was going on.

Marinette began flicking through the book, making sure to avoid looking at any of her old designs in case it set her off or something. Luckily, she quickly found a blank page and began sketching some rough outlines. Chat Noir watched over her shoulder as the cake design began to flow from Marinette's mind, through her pencil and then onto the page. Marinette didn't feel like it was up to her old, usual standard, but she guessed it would have to do due to the small space of time she was working with.

"Finished," Marinette proclaimed as she brushed the page off one final time to remove any eraser pieces that were still there. She then held the book closer towards the light, just to double check that she hadn't missed anything or to see if there was anything else that needed adding or taking away.

The design was pretty simple, knowing that Kim probably wouldn't want anything fancy. She stuck with a sport theme since that was Kim's main passion. The whole cake was covered in green icing with little footballs decorating the edge with the middle decorated like a football pitch. Two little nets were on either side, and in the middle was a figure that looked like Kim, wearing the uniform and everything. He had been obsessed with the World Cup that year, bragging that the French national team were desperate to sign him up, so she figured this would be appropriate for him.

"Hey, that looks pretty good," Chat Noir complimented as he smiled at her design.

"Thanks." Marinette turned serious as she hopped down and headed back into the kitchen. "But the hard part is actually trying to make it."

"Nothing worth doing is easy." Chat Noir smirked, raising one foot to place it on the stool and strike a heroic pose.

Thinking back to Chat Noir's previous kitchen antics, his words didn't make Marinette feel any better. But she guessed that Chat Noir was right. She needed to stop wallowing and actually put some effort into something for once. Because life isn't easy, it was never designed to be. And neither was making a cake, especially since Marinette was so out of practice, but she had to try. It was hard, but it would be worth doing. It was for one of her oldest friends after all, and he was counting on her to make something special for his birthday.

"Okay, first, we're going to need to measure out some flour," Marinette announced as she grabbed hold of the scales and pulled them towards her.

Chat Noir hovered over her, waiting to be given something to do. Marinette began carefully pouring some flour onto the scales while Chat seemed almost transfixed as he watched the whole thing. Had Chat Noir never baked a cake before or something? Though that thought shouldn't surprise her. The silly cat didn't even know how to heat soup up in a microwave. He was like a little kid as he leaned over to catch a glimpse of everything that she was doing. It was weirdly adorable, but at the same time, annoying.

"What are you doing?" Chat Noir asked for the millionth time.

"I'm whisking some eggs," Marinette sighed out before smiling and shaking her head incredulously.

"Oooo, can I do that?" Chat Noir begged as he reached over to take the bowl from her before she could even protest. He took the whisk off her before starting to look a little bit unsure over what exactly it was that he should do, but it appeared he wasn't going to let that stop him as he began whisking the eggs a lot more enthusiastically than he should.

"Just be care –" Marinette was immediately cut off by some of the eggs flying out of the bowl and onto her sweatshirt. She froze in shock as the cold eggs began to seep through the fabric slightly and also drip down onto the floor.

Chat Noir stared at her like a deer caught in headlights, having also frozen as well. "M-Marinette, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!"

Marinette merely frowned and stormed over towards the bowl full of flour and stared down at it wordlessly. Chat Noir shrank back slightly in fear, still cradling the bowl of eggs in his hand. He looked around the room like he was desperately trying to think of something to save the situation. But it was too late. He was in for it now.

Letting out a battle cry, Marinette scooped up a hand-full of flour before launching it at Chat Noir's face. It instantly stained his whole face completely white, making him look like some sort of ghost. He opened his eyes and blinked in shock, which only made the scene look even more comical. Marinette burst out laughing, clutching her stomach as she stared at Chat Noir's face through eyes blurred with tears of laughter. She didn't think she had ever seen Chat Noir look so shocked in all her life. His face was priceless, and it only made her laugh even harder.

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be, is it?" Chat Noir playfully growled at her.

Marinette then screamed as Chat Noir launched himself towards her, but then she laughed as she managed to jump out of the way just in time, using the counter as a barrier between them. Chat Noir grabbed a handful of flour like she had done, smirking evilly at her as he did so. Marinette gulped and backed away slightly.

"Don't you – GAH!" she yelped as she ducked out of the way just in time, the flour landing in a messy pile on the floor. Marinette stared at it before she laughed and taunted Chat Noir, "missed me!"

"That was just a warm up." Chat Noir frowned.

"Yeah yeah." Marinette laughed, backing away again as Chat grabbed another handful of flour, however this time, he had a more calculating look on his face.

Marinette knew that she was completely exposed just standing here as he would easily be able to throw it at her. She didn't want to run the risk of getting flour all over the furniture in the living room, so she knew that she would have to move if she wanted to make sure her parents wouldn't string her up. However, she had completely trapped herself behind the counter. Whichever way she moved, Chat Noir would be able to easily intercept her.

Lurching her body to the left, Chat Noir darted that way also, falling for her rouse. Marinette then laughed as she ran in the opposite direction, but it looked like Chat had been prepared for exactly that. Marinette screamed again as she felt one of Chat Noir's arms snake around her waist, pinning her against him. He then pressed his flour filled hand against her face, making sure to rub as much flour onto her as possible, and Marinette instantly stopped screaming as she squirmed around, trying to break free. A little bit of flour had gotten into her mouth which didn't taste particularly nice, and she knew that she must look as bad as Chat Noir now. She could feel his chest vibrating beneath her as he laughed before dropping her back down and letting go.

"Serves you right." Chat chuckled as Marinette wiped as much flour away from her eyes as she could before she opened them to see Chat grinning down at her smugly.

She giggled as well, feeling more light and elated than she had done in a long time. This was the most fun that she could remember having in years, and the feeling was almost overwhelming. She could almost feel tears beginning to well up in her eyes at all of the strange mixed feelings she was experiencing. It was like she was a boiling, overflowing pot of water, but yet, it seemed like for the first time in forever, it was positive feelings that were consuming her rather than negative ones.

Her chest rose and fell as she was slightly out of breath from laughing and running around. Both her and Chat Noir had been staring at each other for a while without realising, and Marinette's cheeks soon flushed as she looked away, realising what she was doing.

Marinette chuckled as she sat back down to compose herself. "We sure made a mess."

"What's this 'we'? You started all of this!" Chat playfully argued as he sat down next to her.

"Hey, you can talk!" Marinette lightly shoved him. "You were the one who got egg all over me!"

" _You can talk_ ," Chat mocked her comment, shoving her back, smirking.

"No, you can talk!" Marinette shoved him again, only much harder this time – too hard.

Chat Noir yelped as he lost his balance and fell off the stool, landing in a heap on the floor next to him. Marinette burst out laughing again as Chat Noir shook his head before playfully growling at her again.

"Okay, that's it!" he yelled, and Marinette gasped before laughing again as he tackled her off the stool, trying to pin her to the floor.

Marinette managed to squirm out from underneath him though, and soon, both of them were rolling around on the living room floor, each other of them trying to one up the other person and pin them down to win the little fight they were having. Soon enough, Marinette triumphantly sat on top of Chat Noir, folding her arms proudly across her chest as Chat Noir lay defeated on the floor.

"I win!" Marinette announced.

"I wouldn't be too sure, princess." Chat Noir smirked up at her.

Marinette stared down at him in confusion before Chat Noir abruptly reached up and began tickling her. Marinette screamed and tried to recoil away, all without sacrificing her victory over him. However, there was only so much she could take, and she continued to laugh and scream as Chat Noir refused to let up.

"C-Chat…s-stop!" Marinette begged through fits of giggles as she tried to push his hands off her.

"Never!" Chat Noir yelled as he continued to tickle her.

Finally, Marinette couldn't help but collapse and roll over onto the ground in an attempt to get away from him, and that was all Chat Noir needed to seize his chance. Now he had her pinned down onto the ground and finally stopped tickling her. Marinette gasped and fought to catch her breath, staring up in horror as she realised she had lost her victory, and that Chat Noir had managed to best her. That sneaky cat.

"I think you'll find that I win." Chat Noir smirked down at her.

Marinette rolled her eyes as Chat hovered above her, still out of breath from laughing so much, their chests almost touching as she inhaled. Both of them were a mess. Their hair was sticking up all over the place, and they were both covered in flour and other baking ingredients. There was a sparkle in Chat Noir's eyes that she hadn't seen in a long time as he stared down at her. He made no move to get up, and Marinette made no move to get up either. They both stayed there, simply staring at each other in silence.

Once again, Marinette's heart started beating very erratically, and a strange tingling sensation began to travel all the way around her body. A sudden and mysterious need that she had never felt before began to consume her, and it was like something had suddenly ignited inside her, begging her to find something, anything that would sooth the aching need that she was now feeling.

Marinette found her eyes automatically drawn to Chat Noir's lips as he stared down at her with an expression she had never really seen before. Before Marinette could even register what was happening, Chat Noir began slowly leaning down…

However, they both froze when they heard a frantic knock at the door.

They stared at each other with wide eyes, both of them startled and confused. Marinette felt like her heart had just stopped in her chest, and her stomach had dropped all the way down to her feet. Who was knocking on her front door? Surely if it was her parents then they would have just walked in…and then this would have been hard to explain…

"Who is it?" Marinette yelled as Chat Noir climbed off her, allowing her to sit up and stare at the door.

"I-it's Alya," came a broken sounding voice from behind the door. It didn't sound like how Alya normally sounded at all. Alya was always so loud and confident sounding. Now she sounded almost timid and like she was struggling to speak.

Something must seriously be wrong…

"Quick, Chat, hide," Marinette hissed at Chat as quietly as she could.

"Do you have to let her in?" Chat Noir whined as Marinette pushed him towards the stairs that led to her bedroom.

"It sounds like something's wrong." She glared at him, not liking how dismissive he was being of her friend. Marinette didn't really feel like seeing her either, but she could tell from Alya's voice immediately that something was very wrong. And no matter what, Marinette was going to try and be there for her. Her best friend needed her, and she wasn't going to let her down.

"Okay, okay," Chat Noir sighed out as he finally leapt up into Marinette's room.

Taking a deep breath, Marinette tried to brush as much of the flour off herself as possible as she marched towards the front door, honestly surprised that Alya hadn't just entered and made herself at home like she normally would do. Biting her lip in worry, Marinette opened the front door, only for Alya to immediately leap into her arms and begin sobbing.

Staggering under Alya's weight, Marinette managed to kick the door shut before wrapping her arms around her obviously distressed friend. Alya clung onto her tightly, burying her face into her shoulder, staining her sweatshirt with tears, not seeming to care that Marinette was covered in flour. Marinette frowned worriedly as she rubbed Alya's back, trying to help her calm down enough to speak.

"Alya, what is it?" Marinette asked, not being able to handle the worrying anymore.

"It…it's Nino," Alya managed to gasp out between sobs.

"What?" Marinette gasped. "What happened?! Is he hurt?!"

"No," Alya continued to cry, pulling back enough so that Marinette could now see her face which was stained with tears. "Oh, Marinette…i-it's all s-such a big mess! We…we… _we've split up_."

* * *

 **Oh dear. Things just keep getting more complicated. And things are about to get even more complicated, as I have something very special planned very soon. You guys have been asking since pretty much the beginning of the story, and I've never responded to the question. Can you guess what might be coming up? Mwah ha ha! I love teasing you guys. Thank you so much for reading, I hope my lack of sleep and illness didn't ruin this chapter too much. I really need to learn to stop doing this.**

 **Also, IMPORTANT NEWS! Madness Within was always supposed to be just one story, which was always frustrating because I had so many ideas that I had to scrap because there just simply wasn't enough room for them. However, that did get me wondering about possibly creating a sequel for this story. I have the idea for it, but I can't decide whether a sequel would be a good idea, or if I should just stick to it being one story and that's it. And I need to hurry and decide so that I can alter the ending accordingly to suit what I have planned. I figured you guys could help me be the judge of that. So it would really help me out if you guys could vote in the poll that I now have up at the top of my profile. Do you think Madness Within should have a sequel? And of course, if you have any questions, you can ask me in a review or PM, or you can get in touch with me on Twitter or Tumblr.**


	27. Slipping Sanities

**Welcome back! I hope that you guys had an awesome weekend. I had hoped to get this chapter out a few days ago, but you know how life can be sometimes. Thank to you everyone who has voted in my poll so far, please keep those votes coming so that I can come to a decision and start planning things properly. Thank so much to everyone who left a review on the last chapter, it always helps me out a lot and I really appreciate feedback. You guys rock!**

* * *

 **Chapter 27: Slipping Sanities**

All Marinette could do was stand there in shock as Alya continued to bury her face into her shoulder, sobbing her heart out. Those words…those words just simply did not compute with her. Alya…and Nino…they had split up? No. That was impossible. They were always so close…so perfect for each other…they were meant to be together forever. Those were the only thoughts that kept whirling around in Marinette's mind as she wrapped her arms around her best friend, staring straight ahead with wide eyes as she continued to try and process what had just been said to her.

The whole time Alya cried, Marinette remained speechless. But luckily, Alya didn't seem to mind. It seemed that all she needed at the moment was a comforting shoulder to cry on, and Marinette was more than happy to give it to her. However, the news did finally begin to sink in with her, and the words finally embedded themselves deep into Marinette's brain, raising all kinds of new questions.

How had this happened? When had this happened? Why had this happened? Had Nino hurt her? That didn't seem likely, but why else would they break up? Was it all just a huge misunderstanding? Were they going through a rough patch in their relationship and all they needed was a mediator to help them see how stupid they were being and that they needed to get back together? Because Marinette would happily do that job. She had accidentally helped them get together all those years ago, and she was going to make sure they stayed together if that was what they both truly wanted.

Marinette just couldn't believe it. This whole thing seemed so surreal, so unbelievable. It was so out of the blue. As far as Marinette had been aware, everything had been fine between Alya and Nino. Alya certainly hadn't said anything, at least not to Marinette's knowledge anyway. Marinette raked through her brain, looking back on all of the conversations her and Alya had been having lately. Had Alya given any hints at any point that something was wrong in her relationship?

Of course, there was always the chance that Marinette had completely zoned out during one of those conversations. But she liked to think that she would have at least been brought back to reality if Alya had mentioned issues in her relationship with Nino somewhere along the lines. Was Marinette that much of a terrible friend lately? Could she have stopped this if she had been paying more attention instead of wallowing in self-pity all the time? Could she have been there for both of them and helped them through whatever issues they were having?

At those thoughts, Marinette squeezed her eyes tightly shut, refusing to allow her mind to go down that path. She couldn't afford to be selfish right now. She couldn't afford to fall apart or feel guilty. Alya needed her. She had been there for Marinette enough times, now it was time for her to return the favour. Marinette was going to do everything within her power to try and help.

Finally, Alya's sobbing died down slightly and she pulled away, pushing her glasses up so that she could wipe her eyes with some tissue she had stuffed into her jean pockets. Marinette refused to let go of her though, keeping her hands placed on her shoulders. She could feel Alya trembling beneath her touch as the odd sob still continued to break free.

"I…I don't understand…" Marinette finally managed to say.

"I-I'm sorry for barging in on you like this." Alya sniffed. "I know you're probably busy with Kim's cake." She glanced around the kitchen, though she seemed to be looking around the apartment a lot longer than necessary. "I j-just didn't know where else to turn. Your parents let me up here and…and…I just don't know what to do!"

Alya burst into a fresh round of tears again, and Marinette immediately wrapped her arms around her best friend again, pulling her in close. Alya clung onto Marinette impossibly tight to a point where she almost felt like she couldn't breathe, however, she didn't say anything. She let Alya cling onto her as tightly as she wanted, waiting for Alya to get it all out of her system again.

"Oh Alya," Marinette gasped out, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," Alya managed to say, shakily.

"But…how…?" Marinette pulled away so that she could look at her best friend. "Why did this happen?"

Alya looked uncomfortable for a second, and Marinette frowned at her suspiciously. Marinette knew Alya all too well, and she could always easily tell when she was hiding something from her, or was reluctant to admit something. Maybe this was a situation where both Nino and Alya had been as bad as each other, and that maybe Alya knew that. Maybe that was why she was behaving slightly shifty. However, Marinette continued to patiently wait, not wanting to push Alya into talking. She knew that no matter what happened, it was going to be difficult for Alya to talk about, especially if it had only just happened and everything was still feeling incredibly raw.

"D-do you mind if we talk in your room?" Alya asked, finally speaking again.

Marinette gulped and her heart instantly sank. What was she supposed to say? Chat Noir was hiding up there somewhere, and what if he couldn't properly hide himself in time? What if Alya spotted him? What if she said something that set Chat Noir off again? _Oh no_ …there was so many things that could go wrong right now. She should have sent Chat Noir away completely, just to be on the safe side, but Marinette had been unable to bring herself to do that. She didn't want him to leave. She had wanted to keep him close.

Words become stuck in Marinette's throat as she tried to think of some sort of excuse. Her brain remained blank though, stubbornly refusing to help her in this dire situation. It was as if her brain wanted to get caught. It was almost as if Alya was doing this on purpose. But Marinette knew that would be ridiculous. But her paranoid brain couldn't help but cower slightly under the way Alya was now narrowing her eyes at her.

"Ummm…wouldn't it be best to sit down here and talk?" Marinette tried to awkwardly offer. "I'm just a bit worried about getting flour in my bedroom is all."

Alya looked her up and down. "You look fine to me. Plus, I really don't want to worry about your parents overhearing."

Then Alya began running up the stairs towards Marinette's bedroom before she could stop her. Marinette could feel all the colour drain from her face as her heart leapt into her mouth. As her heart jolted upwards, so too did she, and she immediately began running after Alya, spluttering out random noises as she tried to think of a better excuse to try and stop her. Oh she hoped that Chat Noir had found a good hiding place.

Alya all but barged into her bedroom before she stood in the middle. She had her back to Marinette, who was just about peaking her head out from below the door, terrified of what might happen next. Her room looked just a she left it with no sign of Chat Noir anywhere. Marinette tried to hide her sigh of relief before finally fully climbing up into her room. She closed the door behind her as Alya began pacing her room, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks again.

"I just don't understand how he could think of me like that, after everything we've been through together," Alya began to rant. "You should have heard the way he was talking to me, Marinette, it was like I was some sort of mental patient. You know how much I hate being patronised."

Marinette said nothing as she slowly sat down in her desk chair, watching as Alya continued to pace erratically around her room, running her fingers through her auburn hair. Marinette had never seen Alya like this before. She was always so strong and always put on a good front. But right now it looked like her best friend was falling apart at the seams. Marinette had no idea what Alya was talking about, but decided to continue to sit there and listen, letting Alya get everything that she needed to off her chest.

"But I won't be treated this way. I thought couples were supposed to support each other no matter what. Obviously Nino never got that memo –"

"Whoa whoa whoa," Marinette interrupted, "time out." Marinette and Alya both stared at each other with equally confused and annoyed facial expressions. "A boyfriend isn't supposed to just support you no matter what. Nino is entitled to disagree with something you've done. Is that what this is all about? You had an argument because Nino didn't agree with you on something?"

"Listen to yourself," Alya gasped out, "you sound exactly like him!"

"I'm just trying to help, Alya," Marinette said, panicking as she could sense Alya's anger rising. "I'm sure that all you have to do is talk to Nino to try and work something out. I'm sure you'll be able to come to a compromise and find some sort of middle ground –"

"Oh, listen to miss relationship expert over here!" Alya sneered, folding her arms across her chest and glaring down at Marinette. "What exactly do you know about relationships, huh, Marinette? You've never even had a boyfriend!"

Marinette winced away slightly before frowning and looking away, biting her lip as she tried to force back tears of hurt over Alya's insensitive words. Alya was just angry and lashing out, Marinette knew that, but it didn't mean that her friend's words didn't sting any less. Maybe Marinette had tried to speak and offer advice too soon. Maybe she should have let Alya get some more of her anger and pain out, then maybe she would have been rational enough to listen properly. But still, Marinette didn't need anymore reminders of how much of a freak and a failure she was.

The sudden silence between them was incredibly heavy as Alya's words hung in the air. Marinette dug her fingers into the plastic underneath her chair while Alya remained standing completely still. She had no idea what facial expression was on Alya's face right now. She was too scared to look up and meet her eyes. When Alya finally did begin to slowly move, Marinette couldn't help but cower away slightly, feeling unnerved by all of the shouting and hostility.

"Mari…I…I'm sorry," Alya whispered, her voice shaking slightly. "I…I shouldn't have said that –"

"It's fine," Marinette quickly interjected, not wishing to linger on this subject.

Alya sighed and collapsed onto the floor next to Marinette, crossing her legs and staring downwards, wiping a few more stray tears from her cheeks. Marinette glanced down at her out of the corner of her eyes, wishing that she knew what to say to maybe help the situation, but Marinette was terrified to even open her mouth to make a slight noise, just in case it set Alya off again.

"There was a little bit more to it than Nino simply disagreeing with me," Alya finally admitted.

Marinette finally looked down at Alya properly before slowly sliding off her chair so that she could sit down on the floor next to Alya. Before Marinette even had a chance to get comfortable, Alya had already wrapped her arms around her again, almost knocking her over. Marinette managed to regain her balance, wrapping one arm around her best friend while leaning some of her weight on the other to keep them both stable. Once again, she could feel tears staining her sweatshirt, but this time, Alya didn't start sobbing. Marinette did her best to rub soothing circles on Alya's arm, waiting for her to continue explaining what happened.

"I think it's a problem we've been having for a while, ever since I started looking into those Ladybug conspiracy theories," Alya began to explain.

Marinette winced and desperately wished that she could place her hands over her ears, but she knew that would only offend Alya and possibly make her suspicious. It looked like Marinette was just going to have to endure. She should have known. She should have known that this might have had something to do with this. Nino had been trying to sensitively and subtly try and get Alya to stop looking into all of this stuff for weeks now. Both Marinette and Nino could see the effect that it was having on Alya. She was just causing more upset for herself.

But Marinette knew that this was all her fault. Alya had faith and wanted to help her favourite hero, and Marinette should have known that something like this was bound to happen. Everything felt like it was snowballing out of control lately. Hopefully, Alya would never find out anything, but either way, her best friend would be devastated. And it was all Marinette's fault…

"He doesn't believe me when I say that I know Ladybug is alive out there somewhere, he hasn't done since the very beginning," Alya continued, "but I thought that he would support me and help me get to the bottom of it all, even if he didn't believe me. At least then, we would have definitive proof. But last night, after what ha – after what we saw happen with Chat Noir –"

Marinette froze, quickly interrupting Alya. "Why? What happened with Chat Noir last night?"

Had…had Chat Noir lied to her about staying with her all night? Why would he do that? What had he now obviously been hiding from her? Marinette's eyes began darting nervously around the room, looking for any sign of him. Marinette almost regretted asking the question. Was he going to burst out now and attack Alya to stop her from spilling whatever secret he was keeping from her? Her heart leapt into her mouth as she remained on edge, waiting for Chat Noir to appear and go ballistic.

"I don't quite know how to explain it. It was really weird." Alya pulled away from Marinette, frowning down at the floor. "I think there's something wrong with him, and I've been suspecting that to be the case for a while. But last night I – I mean – Rena Rouge confronted him, along with Carapace and Queen Bee. All of a sudden he just went completely crazy and…I don't know how he did it but…he somehow manage to destroy an entire street with one wave of his hand. Then he just disappeared. It was like his cataclysm, only much more powerful. It was unlike anything I've ever seen before. The whole city has been talking about it."

All Marinette could do was stare straight ahead, her eyes wide with horror. Chat Noir had done all of that? Last night? No wonder he had lied to her. How could he? She thought that he was changing. That he was getting back to the way he used to be and that he didn't want to be the villain. He sure had a funny way of showing all of that. Feelings of betrayal once again sliced through Marinette. This was never going to end. Why had she built her hopes up and expected otherwise? She should have known that Chat Noir was never going to change.

Anger continued to bubble up inside Marinette as Alya continued to explain.

"I know that there's something strange going on, and I think that Chat Noir is hiding something."

This once again caused Marinette to freeze.

"Hiding something? What do you mean?" Marinette asked, unable to believe what she was hearing.

She just couldn't believe it. Alya was getting the same suspicions that Marinette was. That there was more to everything that had happened and what was going on than Chat Noir was letting on. Since Alya was almost right with what happened to Ladybug, did that only further validate the theory that Chat Noir was indeed hiding something? It definitely felt like it did, and Marinette immediately began to feel more assured that she was right. There was something about Chat Noir's behaviour and story that didn't add up.

"I'm not quite sure." Alya narrowed her eyes before they widened and turned back to look at Marinette. "Wait…you actually believe me on this one?"

"I…I…" Marinette stuttered, terrified of saying the wrong thing. "I don't know."

Alya sighed in defeat. "Anyway, Nino and I ended up having a bit of a fight last night over the whole thing which ended with me walking away. However, the more I thought about things, the more weird they seemed. Nothing adds up. Chat Noir is hiding something, and none of the stories about Ladybug being dead make any sense. I really think that the city jumped to conclusions when they announced that they believed that Ladybug was dead. A body would have turned up somewhere, or some sort of remains. I looked into this, and do you have any idea how difficult it is to completely cremate a human body?"

Marinette shivered, beginning to feel sick. "You're getting slightly off track. You were talking about what happened between you and Nino."

"Right." Alya frowned and shook her head, looking like she was once again fighting off tears. "So this morning I went to see Nino again, hoping that he would have calmed down after last night. I tried to explain things to him again and apologised for any hurt that I might have caused, but he just didn't want to know. He started getting mad over the way that I was acting again, saying that I was wasting my time digging into all of this and that what I did to C – that I crossed a line last night. He said he was shocked by my behaviour and that I was taking things too far. You should have heard the way he was talking to me, Mari."

Marinette placed a comforting hand on Alya's shoulder as she struggled to contain the sobs that were threatening to break free. Marinette admitted that Alya had been taking things a bit too far with her suspicions lately, but that didn't give the right for Nino to talk to her like Alya was describing. Marinette was beginning to feel slightly torn. Both Alya and Nino were her closest friends. She had known Nino for years, and Marinette knew that he never really got angry unless he had been pushed way too far. Nino had always been a chill guy, so for him to start yelling Alya for just simply getting too obsessed with conspiracy theories seemed a little unlike him.

However, Alya was her best friend and she wanted to believe her. Maybe things finally had got a bit too much for Nino. Marinette knew that Nino was also probably under a lot of stress being Carapace as well. Wincing slightly, Marinette could feel the guilt rising over forcing the fate of a superhero onto two of her closest friends. _She_ had put this pressure on them.

"That's when it turned into a full-blown row," Alya continued, "and I just couldn't handle the way he was talking to me and his lack of faith in me. I don't know if I can be with someone who doesn't believe in me, and in the heat of the moment, I told him that it was over."

Marinette gasped before Alya broke down again, burying her face in her hands.

"And he didn't even try and fight me on it," Alya cried, "he didn't even try to protest or talk me round. He just simply stood there, and that's when I ran off."

Marinette took a deep breath before pulling Alya in close again, letting her friend bury her face in her shoulder again. She couldn't believe this was happening. She couldn't believe that Alya and Nino were fighting like this. They were always so strong and good together. There was no way that this could just be the end for them. Alya obviously still loved Nino and great deal. You don't feel that kind of pain if you never felt that kind of love.

"I'm sure he was probably just in shock," Marinette tried to reassure Alya. "Maybe you ran off before he even got a chance to say anything?"

"So it's my fault?" Alya pulled back to glare at Marinette.

"What? No!" Marinette quickly protested, holding her hands up defensively. "That's not what I was saying at all. I-I just think things got heated and you both maybe said things that you didn't mean. Come on, Alya, you can fix this. You still love Nino, don't you?"

Alya sniffed and nodded.

"Then I'm sure if you go back and talk to him then –"

"Uh uh, no way." Alya was already shaking her head.

"But –"

"Nino hurt me big time. He should be the one who does all the running."

"Alya –"

"Besides…and I know this is going to sound horrible, but…I need to put the cause first," Alya announced, sitting up straighter and drying her eyes.

"Cause?" Marinette gulped, already having a terrible feeling that she knew where this was going.

"Finding Ladybug," Alya stated as if it was obvious. "If Nino is going to be a hinderance to me helping Ladybug, then I'm afraid that I'm going to have to sacrifice my happiness with him. This mission is too important to let personal matters get in the way. There should be no room for doubt in this mission. Ladybug needs us, and if Nino can't accept that, then I'm just going to have to continue on without him."

Marinette's eyes widened as she stared at her friend in shock and horror.

"What?" Alya asked when she caught on to Marinette's facial expression.

"I…ummm…don't you think that maybe…" Marinette trailed off before quickly clamping her mouth shut, too terrified to say much more.

"What?" Alya narrowed her eyes at her. "You think I'm crazy too?"

"No!" Marinette quickly protested. "I…I just worry about you that's all. What if you get to the bottom of everything and you don't like the answer? What if Ladybug _is_ in hiding, but it's for a very good reason? What if you doing this is putting people in terrible danger? What if you get hurt? What if none of this is true and you just ended a wonderful relationship with the love of your life for no reason?"

"Love of my life?" Alya looked confused. "Don't be so dramatic, Marinette. Love might be intense and the be all and end all for you, but I don't let emotions control me like that. I'm a modern woman, and I'm putting my career and my cause first. I…I love Nino…of course I do…but I have to be realistic. Maybe all of this just revealed the cracks that were already in our relationship. Maybe this is fate. Maybe this is supposed to happen so that I can focus more on finding Ladybug."

Marinette sighed. "Who are you trying to convince more, Alya? Me or yourself?"

Alya spluttered for a second before regaining her composure. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Alya, please, just go and talk to him. I'll even come with you if you want and we can talk to him together. Why not be the mature one and make the first move? I'm sure Nino is just as devastated and that he never meant for things to go this far," Marinette tried to persuade her.

"How many more times, Marinette?" Alya was starting to sound annoyed. "He should be the one to make the first move. He should be supporting me in all of this. All I'm doing is trying to get to the bottom of things. To get justice for Ladybug and to help her if she's still out there. She's always been there for us, and we can't just give up on her. I can't be with someone so…so…unheroic."

"Alya," Marinette sighed out as she placed a hand on her shoulder again, "sometimes the hardest and most heroic thing to do is walk away."

Alya sneered, knocking Marinette's hand away. "No way! Never!" Alya cried out as she stood back up, balling her hands into tight fists as she squeezed her eyes shut. "I best get going now. Thanks for talking to me. I'll pick you up at eight tomorrow and then we can both get really _really_ drunk."

"Alya, that's not the answer –"

"I just…I need to be left alone. I need some time to think," Alya growled out. "I'll see you tomorrow," she called as she began running out of the room.

"No! Alya! Wait!" Marinette begged, terrified that she was going to do something stupid.

Her bedroom door slammed shut behind her, and Marinette quickly ran over, ready to yank it open again before a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Let the crazy girl go."

Marinette turned to glare at Chat Noir who was now hanging upside down from her balcony door, his eyes filled with disgust as he stared at door that led downstairs.

"Don't talk about her like that!" Marinette yelled, tears welling up in her eyes.

"And what exactly are you going to say to her?" Chat Noir sighed out as he finally climbed fully back into Marinette's room, moving to sit on the top step that led up to her bed. "She obviously needs to calm down and think about things. Judging by what she was saying, I would bet there was more to what happened between her and Nino than meets the eye."

Marinette folded her arms, continuing to glare at him. "Oh, so then you would have heard her expose your little lie then, huh?"

Chat then looked away awkwardly. "I don't want to talk about it."

Marinette huffed, storming over to him. "Well tough luck mister, because we're talking about it."

Chat Noir glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, a sulky expression on his face as he watched Marinette block his path down the ladder. Marinette continued to stand her ground, making sure that her expression and her stance didn't falter. There was no way Chat Noir was getting away with this. He had some explaining to do, and Marinette wanted answers.

"Why did you lie to me?" Marinette decided to start off.

Chat rolled his eyes, leaning back slightly. "What? You've never told a little white lie yourself?"

Marinette could feel herself turning red, and her heart skipped a beat. "I'm not on trial here. Besides, I'm not the one lying about destroying an entire street!"

"Oh come on!" Chat Noir huffed. "I'm sure you're not exactly a saint. I'm sure you've made mistakes in the past that you hide from people. In fact, I'm willing to bet there are quite a few skeletons in your closet, princess. What do you say? I'll show you mine if you show me yours?" Chat Noir leaned in close, smirking at her.

Marinette recoiled back, beginning to panic. No no no no! He _did_ know that she had secrets. Had he figured it all out and he was just testing her now to see if she would admit the truth to him? Maybe she should just own up to everything. Would he even believe her if she told the truth? He would kill her for sure. Everyone would find out. Everyone would hate her. Chat Noir was right, she had done some terrible things herself and was a hypocrite to judge and get mad at Chat Noir for his behaviour. She had committed much worse crimes, done things far more horrible than he could imagine.

Chat Noir seemed to be merely misguided, while Marinette…Marinette was pure evil…

With that thought, her knees buckled beneath her, and Chat Noir gasped, instantly jumping down and having her wrapped in his arms in an instant. She could feel her heartbeat in her ears and barely registered the fact that Chat Noir had scooped her up, holding all of her weight as her legs suddenly refused to support her own body. There was a loud ringing in her ears as the terrifying thoughts assaulted her mind. If everyone knew…there would be a lynch mob after her…Marinette would never be able to escape what she had done. She was trapped in a cage she had built for herself. If she stayed she would be trapped forever, but if she left, then the lions outside would devour her.

"Sssh, princess, it's okay, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all of those things. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. I was just lashing out because I was mad that Alya had revealed what had happened last night," Chat Noir tried to soothe her, rocking her backwards and forwards slightly.

Marinette could feel herself calming down slightly at his words before she finally looked up to gaze into his bright green eyes. They were filled with nothing but concern for her. There was no sign of any craziness or any coldness that she had been used to seeing in them since the day he betrayed her. He was looking at her just like he used to do before everything went wrong. It was like…he genuinely cared about her.

Finally, Marinette had calmed down enough to support her own weight again before she began fidgeting slightly, letting Chat Noir know that she was okay to stand on her own again. He allowed her to stand again, however, he refused to remove his grip on her waist, keeping her standing close to him just in case. Sighing, Marinette ran her fingers through his hair before stroking his cheek comfortingly.

"And you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to either," Marinette finally sighed out before looking down and closing her eyes.

Chat Noir sighed as well, placing his own hand over Marinette's that was still gently cupping his cheek. Having him so close was so comforting. In that moment, Marinette selfishly didn't care about what Chat Noir had done last night. He was fast becoming a drug to her that she constantly needed a fix of. He was the only person in the world that brought something out of her that Marinette had long presumed to be dead and buried. He simultaneously made her feel both sane yet insane at the same time. It was a confusing feeling, but it beat feeling like a zombie all of the time.

"I'm sorry I lied to you about last night," Chat Noir said after a few moments of silence.

Marinette's eyes snapped open to look up at him in shock.

"I was just so ashamed of what had happened. I thought that I could keep a lid on things. That I would never lose control of myself like that. Apparently I had let my emotions get to me too much, and it had all exploded out of me in a giant cataclysm," Chat Noir explained. "Luckily no one got hurt. I ran off as fast as I could to stop myself from actually hurting someone. It's just after what that stupid fox did –" he cut himself off, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as if he was in pain.

"What?" Marinette gasped. "What did Rena Rouge do?" It felt like her heart was being squeezed in a vice in her chest. If Rena Rouge had done anything to hurt him…

Chat Noir mumbled something too low for Marinette to hear.

"What?"

"She showed me an illusion of an injured and burnt Ladybug," Chat Noir managed to whisper, sounding like he was about to be sick. His skin had turned ghostly pale and a layer of sweat had developed on top of him. He looked completely traumatized.

"No…" Marinette gasped out, looking away to stare in the direction Alya had left.

How could she?

Was that why Nino had started on her in the first place? He must have seen the whole thing and thought that it was immoral. Of course it was. It was sick! Marinette thought that she knew Alya, but clearly not. How could she torment Chat Noir like that? She said so herself that she thought there was something wrong with him, so why provoke things even more?

"That was another reason I didn't tell you." Chat Noir's voice interrupted Marinette's horrified thoughts. "I couldn't bring myself to think about it and remember what I saw. It…it was awful. As if I need reminding of what I did…what I did to her…"

Marinette stared up at him with wide eyes.

"It wasn't your fault," Marinette choked out, bringing her hands up again to cup his cheeks and wipe away his tears with her thumbs. "I know that now. It wasn't your fault. It was Hawkmoth."

"But it was my fault." Chat Noir's voice broke as he spoke. "I…I did something…Marinette I did something very very bad."

"Ssssh," Marinette hushed him, pulling him in close, embracing him tightly, assuming he was talking about how he had betrayed her. "It's okay," she whispered gently in his ear.

"If I could turn back the clock I would," Chat Noir cried into her shoulder.

"I know."

"I never meant for any of this to happen."

"I know."

"I thought that I had everything under control. I thought that things would turn out okay. I thought that it would work."

Marinette pulled away slightly to frown at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Chat Noir looked completely delusional and it seemed like he hadn't registered what Marinette had just said. Not that Marinette expected to get an answer anyway, but it was still a valuable clue to her that something had indeed happened to Chat Noir. His near slip today gave her hope that maybe one day Chat Noir would admit everything. But until then, she was more than happy for Chat Noir to tell her everything when he was good and ready. She was willing to wait if it meant making things easier for him.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, and I don't know what's happening, but…all I know is that I feel better whenever I'm here with you." Chat Noir managed to choke out, offering her a shaky smile as he stared down at her.

Marinette smiled back. "I feel better when you're here with me too."

Chat Noir's smile became more happy and confident as he reached down to pull Marinette into a tight embrace again. Marinette snuggled herself into his shoulder, breathing in as much of his scent as she could, enjoying the feelings of calm and safety that being in his arms brought her. There was just something about Chat Noir's presence that made her feel light, like the weight she had been carrying around on her shoulders was suddenly lifted. Marinette was almost worried that she would float away due to the sudden feeling of weightlessness that she wasn't used to.

Marinette could stay in his arms like this for eternity. A strange sensation began to flutter around her stomach, and her body almost began to heat up at his touch. It startled Marinette to a point where she felt herself pulling back slightly, though still kept her hands placed on his shoulders. Chat Noir pouted slightly at her pulling away which caused her to giggle before she tapped him on the nose.

"We should probably finish that cake," Marinette announced, growing a little fearful of the feelings that were bubbling around inside her tummy. She wanted more of it, but at the same time she was frightened. It was a feeling that she couldn't quite place, but it almost reminded her of how she used to feel around Adrien, only this was much more intense.

Marinette had to contain a sigh of relief when Chat Noir smirked and nodded his head before pulling away. She yearned to be back in his arms again, while at the same time, was relieved that she could finally think a little bit more clearly. It was like Chat Noir had completely clouded her mind in a thick fog that was reducing Marinette down to her bare instincts.

However, she quickly shook her head and followed Chat Noir back downstairs. They finished the cake without any further interruptions, and Marinette tried to make sure that they stayed focused this time. Once they had pulled it out of the oven and left it to cool down, they both fist-bumped each other without thinking before both of them winced and immediately pulled back from each other.

But luckily that moment was quickly forgotten about as they headed back upstairs, sitting on Marinette's bed and just talking as the sun set, casting the room in almost total darkness. But neither of them seemed to noticed, completely distracted by each other. It had been so long since Marinette had talked for this long. It felt…nice. It was nice to feel like she was almost free of that cocoon that she had formed for herself to hide away from the world.

It wasn't long before Marinette found it impossible to fight against her heavy eyelids as she laid against Chat Noir's arm, both of them propped up by Marinette's pillows. Her throat was hurting from having talked and laughed more than she had done in years.

As Marinette's eyes began drifting closed, finally losing the battle against her exhausted state, a warm feeling completely enveloped her, and an orange glow began to fill her vision.

* * *

 **Hmmm, I wonder what the next chapter will be? I'm super super super excited for the next few chapters. Some interesting stuff is going to be happening. I've been dying to get to this portion of the story as this was the section that I first imagined when I first started planning this story. Don't forget to keep voting in my poll if you want to make sure I make or don't make a sequel, I value you guys' opinions immensely. Also, it would really help me out if you left a review as well. You have no idea how much those things help writers out. See you all again soon!**


	28. Incendium

**Welcome back! I was so worried that I was going to have a go on hiatus as both of my computers broke which was super annoying. Luckily though, I managed to get my old laptop to work which really saved my life. However, this does mean struggling to get used to my old keyboard again, so I hope that I manage to catch most of the typos that no doubt will occur in this chapter. But thank you guys for being patient with me.**

 **Also, 500 reviews?! I think I'm dead. You guys have killed me with your kindness and generosity. I really can't believe it! I've never had this many reviews on a story before and I keep having to pinch myself just to check that I'm not dreaming. Thank you so much!**

 **And to the guest reviewer who offered me writing advice but was worried they came across as rude, you absolutely didn't. I always welcome constructive criticism, especially since I would love to be a professional writer one day, so advice is always incredibly helpful for me and I really appreciate it.**

* * *

 **Chapter 28: Incendium**

The heat was intense against Ladybug's face, and it was the main thing that first consumed her mind as she approached the scene. Her eyes were wide in horror, her whole body too terrified and confused to move. This was unlike anything she had ever seen before. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to think. All she could do was stand as still as a statue as her brain refused to process what was going on. It was like she was in denial. All of this couldn't be happening. It was too crazy. Too dangerous.

Tall flames completely surrounded the Agreste mansion, forming a ring of fire, an impenetrable fortress of hell on Earth. The crackle of the fire was loud, almost completely drowning out the screams of civilians as they began to surround all of the commotion, trying to see what they could do to help. Police and fire officers tried to push people back, creating barriers while they worked on trying to assess the situation and put the flames out. But no matter how much water was thrown onto the raging inferno, the fire blazed on, completely unphased by all of the efforts to destroy it.

It was as if the fire had a mind of its own as the flames continued to spread and climb higher and higher into the air, cutting the Agreste mansion off from the rest of the world. The area around Ladybug glowed a brilliant orange, and ashes and embers danced around in the air like literal fireflies. Thick smoke climbed into the air, and Ladybug coughed slightly as she was unable to stop herself from breathing some of it in.

She kept willing herself to jump down there and do something, but she still remained frozen to the roof that she was currently stood on. She didn't even know where to begin. She had never dealt with something of this magnitude before. But she had to. She had to unfreeze. She had to do something.

 _Adrien could be in there._

At that thought she quickly shook her head and forced herself to focus on the scene, determined to end all of this quickly before anyone got hurt. The people outside of the ring of fire were more or less safe, it was Gabriel and Adrien that needed to be her main priority. She wasn't sure whether they would be back from the photoshoot yet, but she couldn't take the chance. She needed to find a way of getting in there and making sure that they were safe.

Swinging her yo-yo, Ladybug managed to narrowly fly over the top of the flames surrounding the mansion before landing on the now charred ground near the front door. All of the plants on the grounds had been burnt to a crisp, and the only colours that surrounded Ladybug now were black, yellow, red and orange. She could barely see the large mansion, even though it was only a few feet away from her, due to all of the thick smoke. The shouting and crying of the crowd became silent, with nothing but the roar of the fire filling Ladybug's ears.

The heat was even more sweltering. It felt like Ladybug had just stepped directly inside an oven, and any beads of sweat that tried to form on her skin immediately evaporated in the intense heat. Her throat and lungs were beginning to fill with smoke, and Ladybug once again found herself coughing and spluttering as she looked desperately around, taking a few hesitant steps forward towards where she thought the mansion might be, now completely hidden by smoke.

"It seems you have a love _heat_ relationship with the Agrestes, but I still can't let you burn the place down," a familiar voice joked from somewhere near Ladybug.

Ladybug gasped, twisting around to look in the direction that Chat Noir's voice had come from. She heard an unfamiliar cackle in the air before Ladybug couldn't contain her yelp of fear as a blast of fire lit up the area around her, the ball of fire further added to the wall of flames that already surrounded them. Ladybug tried to look up at the source of the ball of fire, just about able to catch a quick glimpse of a figure floating in the sky before the thick smoke blocked her view again.

"The Agrestes will burn for everything they have done to me!" another voice growled out.

"Well, _heaters gonna heat_ , I guess," Ladybug heard Chat Noir joke again, though something seemed off about his voice. It was his usual light-hearted, joking manner. His voice almost sounded hostile, as if he was purposefully trying to provoke this new akumatized victim. However, Ladybug quickly dismissed it, figuring that Chat Noir was just under a lot of stress with this powerful akuma.

"Chat Noir!" Ladybug cried out, hoping to try and find him,

"My lady?" His voice sounded strained rather than happy.

"What's going on, where are you?" Ladybug continued to call.

"I'm over here, follow my voice."

Ladybug began to feel dizzy due to the disorientating sensation the smoke was giving her. It clouded her mind as well as her vision, and she quickly shielded her face from the heat as another blast of fire was added to the already rapidly growing and spreading inferno. Chat Noir's voice seemed to be coming from all directions, and Ladybug could not get a sense of where he was.

"Chat!" Ladybug yelled again, her panic increasing.

"It's okay, I'm here," Chat Noir comforted, his voice sounding much closer this time.

Ladybug turned around just in time for Chat Noir to appear out of the smoke and stand next to her. His face was a hard mask as he seemed to be refusing to look at her, instead just simply staring up at the sky where the akumatized victim had just been flying around. His baton was gripped tightly in his hand and his expression was dark, with his green eyes unusually hard. The terrible feeling that Ladybug had been getting in her gut suddenly increased in intensity to a point where it almost had her doubling over in pain.

Something about this situation really didn't feel right, but Ladybug just couldn't quite put her finger on it. Maybe it was just because they had never faced an akuma this deadly and destructive before. Maybe that's what had Ladybug so on edge right now. It was enough to even make the most experienced hero nervous. But for some reason, that still didn't feel right. Ladybug almost felt like she had just walked right into a lions' den, and that at any second, the ferocious beasts would pounce on her. Her fight or flight instinct was kicking into overdrive, causing Ladybug to lose a lot of her concentration over this latest akuma.

"His name is Incendium, and he appears to have a vendetta against Gabriel and Adrien Agreste," Chat Noir explained, still not looking at her.

"What? Why?" Ladybug asked in confusion.

Chat Noir shrugged. "I think they upset him at this photoshoot or something, but anyway, enough questions for now, let's take this guy down!"

"Chat?" Ladybug found herself question in confusion as Chat Noir began running off, following the sound of Incendium's laughter.

He was acting really weird. Ladybug had never seen Chat Noir brush her off this way before. But once again, Ladybug just chalked it up to the seriousness of the situation. Even Chat Noir had to realise sometimes that you just needed to get on with the job. So Ladybug took off after him, the ground beneath her making an unsettling crunching sound as she trampled all over dead plants and destroyed garden decorations. The house still seemed relatively safe for now, much to Ladybug's relief when she managed to catch sight of it in the glow of another one of Incendium's blasts.

This struck Ladybug as odd. Why wasn't he attacking the house? Why was he just attacking the tall wall that surrounded the area, making the flames grow higher and higher? Ladybug couldn't help but slow down to a brief pause, looking around at everything now that she finally had the chance to. Once again, something really didn't feel right about this whole situation.

She watched as Chat Noir continued to try and chase after Incendium. The akumatized villain was finally flying low enough to reveal himself. His hair was bright orange and spiked up to resemble flames while red horns protruded out, making him look like some sort of devil. His eyes were bright red and glowing among the thick smoke. He was wearing a rather posh looking red suit, and a devil-like tail slithered around behind him. He stared at his handy work with a very smug grin on his face, folding his arms as he then turned to glare down at Chat Noir who continued to try and chase him.

"I'll show that Adrien Agreste what a good model I can be and what burning jealousy really looks like," Incendium growled out, and Ladybug once again froze in place.

Adrien had said something like that? No. That couldn't be right. There was no way that Adrien would ever be so cruel. He was always kind and encouraging to others. There was no way he would be purposefully malicious. There had to be more to it than that. Maybe Incendium was blowing some kind advice Adrien had offered him way out of proportion. Or maybe Incendium had just behaved appallingly and Adrien was trying to get him to stop. But there was no way that Adrien would purposefully be horrible to someone. Her Adrien just wasn't like that.

Incendium then blasted some more fire out of the palms of his hand to the already climbing wall of fire that was surrounding the mansion. Ladybug watched worriedly, not only over the fact that Gabriel and Adrien might be trapped inside their house right now, but because at this rate, Ladybug and Chat Noir wouldn't be able to get themselves out.

That's when it clicked.

"Chat Noir! I think he's trying to seal us in!" Ladybug yelled in horror.

Chat Noir followed Ladybug's line of sight, though for some reason, he didn't seem too surprised. The delayed shocked expression he provided Ladybug with seemed really off. His face showed fear and worry while his eyes were showing something else. Something that Ladybug couldn't quite put her finger on.

However, both of their attention was immediately caught by Incendium once again as he blasted a huge column of fire towards the Agreste mansion, hitting it directly. Ladybug screamed as part of the roof burst into flames, images of Adrien trapped in the fire assaulting her mind and causing it to spin uncontrollably in fear. The heat radiated through the air, heat that might currently be baking Adrien and his father right now.

"ADRI – !" Ladybug tried to call out and sprint towards the mansion before Chat Noir stopped her, blocking her with his arm as she looked up at him in horror and confusion.

Chat Noir, however, was busy glaring up at the sky, and Ladybug followed his gaze before her eyes landed on Incendium once again. All of a sudden, it seemed like Incendium was trying to fight against himself. He was clutching at his head, no longer paying attention to both Ladybug and Chat Noir. It sounded like he was screaming in pain, but Ladybug couldn't be too sure over the roar of the fire. He continued to fly around, losing control of himself. The familiar, purple butterfly symbol kept appearing in front of his face, and all Ladybug could do was worriedly watch, never having seen anything like this before.

"N-no! I won't give it up!" Incendium shrieked. "You can't take away my powers! The Agrestes still need to pay!"

"What's going on?" Ladybug asked fearfully, turning to gaze at Chat Noir for any suggestions, but he was just watching everything unfold with a blank expression on his face.

This only made Ladybug more confused. The terrible feeling deep within her stomach continued to gnaw at her insides, screaming at her that something was very wrong somewhere. Rather than distracting her from the horrible feeling she had been experiencing all day, the battle right now only seemed to heighten it. All of her insiders were turning to mush as she struggled to comprehend exactly what was causing it. But the only coherent message she could decipher from it was that something was very very wrong.

"What's Hawkmoth doing to him?" Ladybug continued to gasp in horror, clutching her yo-yo, ready to swing it up and rescue the poor boy should Hawkmoth cause him to fall.

Incendium was still flying erratically around in the air, clutching at his head, looking like he was fighting for control. What could Ladybug do? She was so torn and conflicted. She had never seen or experienced anything like this before. The heat from the fire was frying her brain and causing her to panic even more. She glanced back at the mansion, her eyes wide with fear as she watched as the flames continue to engulf parts of the roof, some of the fire even spreading down some of the walls. The inside still looked relatively fine, but that didn't stop her from worrying about Adrien and Gabriel. Whatever was going on, she needed to end it quickly and use her lucky charm to fix everything before any more damage and harm could be caused.

"Chat Noir, we've got to end this now," Ladybug voiced her thoughts, glaring up at Incendium while swinging her yo-yo, getting ready to use her lucky charm.

"But wait, look!" Chat Noir pointed towards Incendium who had now flown over the wall of fire before landing on a building across the street that was barely visible due to the smoke.

However, the glow of Incendium allowed them to catch a small glimpse of what was going on as it still looked like he was fighting an arduous internal battle. Ladybug had never seen an akuma victim behave like this before and it was starting to freak her out. This was so unlike Hawkmoth's typical behaviour if he was trying to take more control of his victim. Usually he just let them do all of the dirty work. In fact, Ladybug didn't even know that Hawkmoth could take control of an akuma victim like that.

This was all very worrying. Did this mean that Hawkmoth's powers were growing stronger? If they managed to stop all of this, then Ladybug would definitely have to go and talk to Master Fu about what she had just witnessed. Maybe he would know what to do and what was going on.

Incendium continued to cry out and fight against whatever was going on. But it wasn't long before he was engulfed by a familiar dark purple light, and his akumatized form melted away to reveal a very frightened and confused looking teenager. Both Ladybug and Chat Noir gasped at what they had just witnessed. Did…did Hawkmoth just take away Incendium's powers? But why? What was going on?

Ladybug glared at the familiar dark butterfly that looked like it was beginning to fly towards them. This was their chance. She needed to catch it before it could do anymore damage, and then she could hopefully fix all of this fire without needing to rescue anyone. In preparation to catch it, she began swinging her yo-yo again, only to be unexpectedly stopped by Chat Noir.

"What are you doing?!" Ladybug shrieked, almost starting to get annoyed by Chat's weird behaviour.

"Let's just see what it does." Chat Noir watched the butterfly with a frown on his face.

"Are you nuts?!" Ladybug yelled, almost scolding him as she turned her attention back towards the butterfly, the string of her yo-yo now trapped in Chat Noir's grasp.

What was he thinking?! They couldn't just let an akuma run loose like that. They had to capture it, it was their job. They couldn't risk everyone in Paris just because Chat got curious. Why was he being like this? Why was he being way more reckless than usual? There was something about this that really didn't feel right to her. Why were they being sealed in? Why had Hawkmoth taken away Incendium's powers? Hawkmoth had to be planning something. Maybe Chat wanted to watch the akuma to see what he was planning, she didn't know, but all she did know was that they had to stop whatever Hawkmoth was up to, because it couldn't be good.

"Let go, Chat!" Ladybug pleaded, trying to yank her yo-yo out of his grip. "We have to capture it!"

But Chat Noir wouldn't let go, to which Ladybug froze and stared at him in shock. What was he playing at? He usually always listened to her instructions without question. He always trusted her instincts and just followed her lead. So what gives? Why was he being so stubborn all of a sudden?

Chat Noir's expression hardened slightly, refusing to look at her as he maintained his grip with both hands as he continued to watch the butterfly fly towards them. Ladybug watched it in panic before beginning to try and yank her yo-yo free again, her heart beating wildly in her chest as fear began to completely consume her.

"Chat! Please! Let go! What's gotten into you?!"

He still didn't answer. Ladybug was beginning to feel like this Chat Noir was some sort of imposter. A bad replica that was sent to her to try and sabotage the mission, stopping them from saving the city. He had never behaved like this before. It was almost like he _wanted_ Hawkmoth to win or something. But no. He couldn't do. He'd been acting weird for a while, so maybe whatever had been bugging him was really affecting him today, causing him to lose focus. That was the only logical explanation that Ladybug could think of. Nonetheless, it did nothing to ease her panic.

Ladybug then gasped as she looked up again, instinctively ducking as the butterfly flew over their heads, completely ignoring them as it seemed to be flying in the direction towards the Agreste mansion. Chat Noir's grip on her yo-yo began to loosen, and Ladybug finally yanked it out of his grasp, glaring at him over his stupidity.

"Come on, let's follow it and see where it goes," Chat Noir urged, taking off without even waiting for Ladybug's opinion.

"No, Chat, wait!" Ladybug begged before groaning and taking off after him.

This whole situation was definitely starting to not feel right to her. It…it almost felt like Hawkmoth wanted them to follow. Why else would he do this? But it was too late to stop Chat Noir now. He hadn't listened to her at all today, so why would he listen to her now? If Chat Noir accidentally led them into some sort of trap now, Ladybug was going to kill him. Ladybug swore that cat was going to be the death her of sometimes.

Ladybug continued to follow Chat, his silhouette barely visible through all the smoke. She coughed as she ran, still unable to help breathing some of it in. She just hoped that her lucky charm could fix any internal damage that this incident may have caused. She knew smoke inhalation was incredibly bad, and she was beginning to feel lightheaded. She just hoped that she could hold out long enough.

Soon enough, they approached the front door of the Agreste mansion, much to Ladybug's shock and confusion. The butterfly squeezed through the small gap between the double doors as Chat took a few steps back before kicking the doors in with ease, which struck Ladybug as odd. She thought that the Agrestes had state of the art security systems. Surely there was no way it would be that easy to break the front door down.

Ladybug slowed down as she entered the mansion, while Chat kept running off, chasing the akuma.

"Errr, Chat?" Ladybug was beginning to feel increasingly nervous and uneasy. Something about all this just didn't feel right. All of her instincts were screaming at her to turn around and run. That she needed to get out of there because something very bad was about to happen. That she wasn't safe, none of them were.

Now Ladybug really was beginning to feel like they had entered some sort of trap. Why would the akuma lead them in here? Unless there was something else waiting for them, or Hawkmoth was trying to lead them on a wild goose chase to ensure they stayed in the building and burned to death. Ladybug wasn't sure how a miraculous could handle fire, but she wasn't willing to put that to the test, nor gamble with their lives.

Chat Noir finally froze, not turning around to look at her.

"Doesn't this all feel rather strange to you?" Ladybug voiced her concerns.

"Well, yeah, that's why I think we need to follow the akuma to see what's going on," Chat explained, still not turning to face her. His hands were clenched into tight fists and his whole body looked extremely tense. Maybe he was getting the same uncomfortable feelings that Ladybug was.

"What about Adrien? We need to get him out of here!" Ladybug gasped out, glancing up the stairs towards his bedroom.

"He'll be fine once we fix all of this," Chat Noir quickly dismissed, once again taking off after the akuma.

Ladybug groaned again, still deciding to follow him. The akuma then turned and began once again squeezing itself between two double doors. Chat Noir froze outside the door, waiting for Ladybug to catch up, and when she did, she frowned and quickly opened the doors, still completely confused and worried over what was going on, but just hoping that they could sort it and fast.

What greeted her was a dark office and a lone figure standing in the middle of the room with their back facing them. It looked like they were leaning slightly forward against a cane. The figure appeared to be that of a tall man, wearing a dark purple suit with a grey collar that stuck out, and what appeared to be a grey mask that completely covered their head.

Was this…was this…

" _Hawkmoth?!_ " Ladybug gasped out before yelping as she was shoved further into the room.

She twisted around only to see it was Chat Noir who had pushed her into the room. He now had his back to her as he slowly closed the double doors behind them before turning and standing in front of them, blocking the only exit as a smirk began to form on his face. His green eyes were now completely dead as he stared at her. It was like he had suddenly turned into a robot. There was no sign of her Chat Noir in there.

What was going on?

"Chat…?" Ladybug questioned in confusion. "What…what are you doing?"

He didn't say anything, and Ladybug quickly turned back around to face Hawkmoth, who finally turned around to meet her gaze. Cold grey eyes met her frightened blue ones, and a sadistic smirk formed on his face as he watched her. Ladybug had been right. This was a trap. But everything else refused to process. It was like Ladybug was now having some sort of nightmare. There was no way that any of this could be real.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you at last, Ladybug." Hawkmoth spoke politely and with a hint of excitement. "We've been fighting each other for quite a while yet we haven't even been formally introduced. I am Hawkmoth."

" _Gabriel Agreste_ …" Ladybug breathed in shock.

All of the pieces were finally starting to fall into place. She was right. She had been right all along. Gabriel Agreste was Hawkmoth. She had always had her suspicions, but they had been quelled when Gabriel had been akumatized, but that must mean that Hawkmoth had the power to akumatized himself. He had done it on purpose to throw her off the scent. That manipulative conniving villain.

Ladybug almost couldn't believe it. She had always looked up to Gabriel. He had been her favourite fashion designer, and Ladybug had always wished to be just like him one day. She was shocked that such a public figure could be Paris' most wanted supervillain. But at the same time, she wasn't surprised. After all, she had just reasons for suspecting him in the first place. He was reclusive, owned a book on the miraculous, was cold and manipulative, and even his own brand had a butterfly as the logo.

"Excellent deduction skills," Hawkmoth praised, "of course I always knew that you were suspicious of me. That's why I had myself akumatized. I couldn't risk you finding out my secret."

"So what changed?" Ladybug growled, confused as to why he was revealing himself now.

"Now the tables have turned, Ladybug." Hawkmoth smirked. "Now I have a partner that is going to help me succeed in my cause and help me possess the ladybug and cat miraculous once and for all."

Ladybug furrowed her eyebrows in confusion while Hawkmoth turned his attention to Chat Noir behind her.

"Thank you, Chat Noir, you have been most helpful." Hawkmoth grinned manically.

Ladybug slowly turned around again to face Chat Noir, his behaviour finally registering with her. He was staring at her with a very dark expression on his face, viewing her as nothing more than helpless prey. His green eyes glowed slightly in the darkened room, and there was nothing but cold-hearted malice hidden deep within them. He was breathing fairly heavily as his chest visibly raised up and down, and his claws dug into the doors behind him, almost as if he was trying to hold himself back.

"Chat? What is he talking about?" Ladybug demanded, cursing herself for showing any hint of fear.

Chat Noir didn't say anything, he just continued to stare at her, his eyes explaining more to her than words ever could. Ladybug could feel her body slump slightly as she almost stumbled backwards. She felt like she might have collapsed then and there, but she fought it off. It felt like her heart had just been skewered, and it pulsated around the metal that had just been stabbed into it, blood oozing everywhere, decaying inside her with each second Chat Noir looked at her with such cold hatred.

Ladybug wasn't sure how long they stood there staring at each other. Seconds. Minutes. Hours. It didn't matter. However long it was, it felt like an eternity. Words became lost to Ladybug as her mind began spinning in a whirlpool of confused and betrayed thoughts. The room began to spin along with it, and once again, Ladybug had to fight off the urge to pass out. But in the stormy whirlpool of her mind, a coherent thought finally registered with her.

Chat Noir had betrayed her.

His strange behaviour made so much sense now. He had been planning all of this. They had planned it together. They had lured her here and trapped her here on purpose. Chat Noir had purposefully stopped her from purifying the akuma and from fixing everything. He had purposefully led her right into this very room. He had purposefully led her into a trap.

In that moment, at that thought, it felt like the whole room was sinking and tipping onto its side. It was like her whole world was literally turning upside down. Her heart practically thudded to a stop, having lost all of its blood…all of its hope.

 _Chat Noir had betrayed her._

She knew it. And he knew that she knew now.

"C-Chat…" Ladybug just barely managed to choke out, tears burning her eyes. "Why?"

Chat Noir merely shrugged. "He made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

"But why, Chat? I thought that we were friends? We were partners, remember? What did I do wrong? What did I do to make you turn on me this way?" Ladybug begged for answers, her voice cracking with emotion and tears still burning in her eyes, but Ladybug refused to let them fall.

"It's a private matter," Hawkmoth interrupted, making Ladybug remember that he was in the room with them. She had almost forgotten about Hawkmoth completely, lost in her feelings of betrayal and confusion over Chat Noir.

Ladybug backed away slightly, but she was trapped. There was nowhere for her to go. Hawkmoth stood in front of her, while Chat Noir remained standing behind her, blocking the door. She was going to have to fight both of them. So be it. She refused to go down without a fight. She couldn't let them get her hands on her miraculous. The cat miraculous was already practically Hawkmoth's thanks to Chat Noir. She couldn't let them win. She would either have to find a way to escape or find some way of taking both of their miraculous, though the former seemed the most likely course of action she would have to take.

Turning back to Chat Noir, she managed to catch his eye and glared at him with all the hatred that she could muster up. Just looking at him made her feel sick. He was a coward. He was a traitor. He was evil. And she was going to make him pay for all of this.

" _You monster,_ " she spat at him as if she had just tasted something foul.

Something flickered behind Chat Noir's eyes, but whatever it was, he quickly hid at as he stared back at her with just as much distain. He crouched down, removing his claws from the wood of the door, and Ladybug gripped her yo-yo, ready to do whatever she would have to do. She could break down over Chat Noir later. Right now, she had a job to do. She had to save Adrien. She had to save Paris. And right now, she desperately needed to save herself.

"Seize her miraculous!" Hawkmoth ordered.

Upon his orders, Chat Noir pounced at her, and though Ladybug was prepared for his attack, she was completely boxed in and had nowhere to run to, not at least without being captured by one of them anyway. And she would much rather deal with Chat Noir. At least she knew his fighting style and that she stood a good chance against him.

Hawkmoth simply stood back and watched with a grin of anticipation on his face. Ladybug should have known that he wouldn't have wanted to get his hands dirty. He was just using Chat Noir. It was just a shame that Chat Noir was letting himself be used. But Ladybug didn't have time to think about all of that right now. She needed to focus on the here and now, and the here and now involved her making it out of this situation alive and with the ladybug miraculous still safely in her possession.

Chat Noir knocked Ladybug to the ground, her head colliding painfully with the tiled floor as he began pinning her in place, smirking at her, holding both of her arms in place as Ladybug thrashed around, desperate to get away. But Chat Noir's grip on her was too strong, and she couldn't swing her yo-yo with both of her hands rendered immobile.

"Now I'll finally get to find out who you really are beneath the mask," Chat Noir purred, letting go of one of her wrists and gripping it in his other hand. With one hand now free, he gently stroked her earlobe before gripping her earing, sending a shiver of fear and anger down Ladybug's spine.

Big mistake.

Allowing her anger and hatred to take control, Ladybug let out an unintelligent shriek as she managed to bring her knees up and launch him over her head.

Chat yelped up in surprise, and Ladybug quickly used this opportunity to stand back up again. Knowing she had little hope right now of managing to put up a good fight, Ladybug took off running as fast as she could, her feet loudly pounding against the tiled floor.

"Don't let her get away!" Hawkmoth bellowed, and Ladybug's heart lurched into her throat. She could hear Chat Noir behind her, groaning and trying to regain his senses.

Ladybug barged through the double doors so hard, she could feel small splinters of wood stabbing into her skin. The back of her head was beginning to twinge slightly from her head colliding with the floor.

The mansion was almost completely dark, making it difficult for her to see. She gulped, knowing that this would give Chat Noir an advantage over her.

Adrien…where was Adrien?!

She had to find him and get them both out of there!

The fire outside was already beginning to roar ferociously, and she soon knew that the whole mansion would be up in flames. He probably didn't even know his own father was Hawkmoth. It broke Ladybug's heart, but she knew that she had to tell him the truth.

Managing to remember which room Adrien's was, Ladybug didn't even hesitate in kicking the door down. She wasn't sure how far behind her Chat Noir had been, so she wasn't willing to waste time with pleasantries.

Adrien's room was also dark, and Ladybug began looking around frantically. Had he heard the commotion? Had he found somewhere to hide?

"Adrien?" Ladybug whispered as loudly as she could, cupping her hands around her mouth, hiding around the corner from the door in case Chat Noir walked by and spotted her.

There was no response, and Ladybug began to grow increasingly worried. Had he hidden somewhere else in the house? She had to find him!

Briefly gazing out of Adrien's large bedroom window, Ladybug gasped in horror and fear as a wall of fire and smoke completely blocked off the view of the city of Paris. It turned everything a brilliant shade of orange, and Ladybug was beginning to feel the heat, even from behind the glass.

" _Bugaboo,_ " Chat Noir sang from nearby, " _Where are you?_ "

Ladybug struggled to contain her gasp at how different Chat Noir was sounding now. This wasn't her kitty anymore. Perhaps he had never been her kitty in the first place. Maybe he had always been like this and everything had just been an act. How could he have done this to her? How could their friendship have meant so little to him?

Ladybug felt like she was going to be sick.

There was no time though.

Looking around quickly, Ladybug leapt into the air and grabbed hold of Adrien's climbing wall just above the door, holding her breath and praying with everything that she had that Chat Noir wouldn't spot her. She could hear his footsteps slowly approaching as if he was taunting her.

Ladybug held on tightly, gritting her teeth together and watching the door below her. A large, black shadow entered the room and soon enough, the owner of the shadow made his way inside. Chat Noir paused by the entrance, and Ladybug willed him with her mind to move.

His ear twitched backwards, and Ladybug completely froze.

Did he know she was there?

Chat Noir placed his hands on his hips and looked from side to side dramatically.

Ladybug's eyes narrowed, wondering if he was taunting her.

He stepped further into Adrien's bedroom and Ladybug saw her chance.

Dropping down from the wall, Ladybug then darted out of the door, being as light on her feet as possible. Surprisingly, she didn't hear Chat Noir pursuing her from behind. Not that she was complaining. She needed to find Adrien and fast!

Becoming desperate, Ladybug blindly barged into every room she came across in the Agreste mansion, looking for any sign of Adrien. In every room she went in, there was none, and an intense fear began to engulf Ladybug as she wondered where the love of her life could possibly be.

Had he been injured? Was he just that good at hiding?

But she had called his name in every room she had entered, so surely he would've recognised that Ladybug was there and was going to help him get out?

Panicking, Ladybug tugged at her twin ponytails and ran out of the dining room and into the next room. It appeared to be the kitchen. It was large and much fancier than hers, and this room was almost completely shrouded in darkness apart from the light Ladybug was letting in as she stood in the doorway.

"Adrien?" Ladybug called out, still trying hard not to be too loud so Chat Noir wouldn't figure out where she was.

Again, there was no response, and Ladybug grew increasingly worried – if that was even possible at this point.

Frantically, Ladybug began almost tearing the cupboard doors off their hinges in a desperate attempt to maybe find Adrien hiding inside one of them. The adrenaline in her body began to be pumped around at a faster pace at the realisation that once again, Adrien was nowhere in sight.

Tears welled up in Ladybug's eyes as many terrifying images assaulted her mind.

What if Hawkmoth had got hold of him? He wouldn't harm his own son, surely?

Memories of all the close calls that Adrien had had with akumas ran through Ladybug's head, and she clasped both hands over her mouth in horror.

It was a chance she couldn't – wouldn't – take.

Giving the kitchen one final once over, Ladybug yelped when she caught sight of Chat Noir standing in the doorway, leaning one arm casually against the doorframe while he repeatedly tossed his baton in the air and caught it in his other hand.

Ladybug watched him in horror as she wondered how long he had been standing there. Backing away and not taking her eyes off him, Ladybug opened the last cupboard door again, feeling her way inside in the hopes of coming into contact with a warm body huddled up the corner.

Nothing.

"What are you doing?" Chat's expression suddenly turned confused and frantic.

He…he sounded almost like his old self again…

"What do you mean?" Ladybug asked, feeling confused, frightened, and angry.

"You're supposed be –" Chat Noir quickly cut himself off before crouching down and glaring at her.

"Where's Adrien?" Ladybug demanded.

Chat Noir blinked.

"What have you done with him?" Ladybug grabbed hold of her yo-yo and began spinning it in a circle. She glared at Chat Noir with all the hatred she could muster. If Chat had harmed one hair on his head then she would show no mercy. It hurt her deeply enough to know that he was now working for Hawkmoth and had led to her into this trap, but if he had hurt Adrien…Ladybug wasn't sure she would be able to control her actions.

Chat Noir smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Ladybug shrieked angrily, unable to stop herself from violently swinging her yo-yo towards her old partner. Chat easily dodged it though which caused Ladybug to let out another angry cry, swinging her yo-yo again as Chat jumped on top of one of the counters.

The string of her yo-yo sent pots and pans crashing the ground, the clatter echoing so loudly through the kitchen, it caused Ladybug's ears to hurt and begin ringing slightly. Chat Noir continued to smirk at her, and this time, all Ladybug could see was red.

With another incoherent, angry yell, Ladybug charged towards him and leapt forward. Chat's eyes widened before Ladybug crashed into him, knocking him down onto the surface of the counter. Ladybug straddled his waist, pinning his hands down above his head as he thrashed around, struggling to break free. Ladybug glared down at him and he looked back up at her.

Ladybug smiled in satisfaction to see a glimmer of fear behind his now cold, green eyes.

"TELL ME WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH HIM, YOU TRAITOR!" Ladybug screamed at him, fear and anger engulfing her.

Images of Adrien lying in a pool of his own blood, cold and alone somewhere, having been attacked by Chat Noir. His own father not caring about his wellbeing and leaving his son to die, only caring about obtaining her miraculous for his own evil uses.

This was all her fault.

She should have spotted that there was something off about Chat Noir these past few days. She should have expected to have been lead into a trap. She should have listened to her instincts about Gabriel Agreste being Hawkmoth. She should have done a better job at protecting Paris…protecting Adrien…

The fear behind Chat Noir's eyes vanished, replaced with nothing but a cold apathy, and he relaxed underneath her, closing his eyes as if he was sunbathing. This infuriated Ladybug even more and she tightened her grip on his wrists, crushing them beneath her grip. Chat Noir didn't even wince though.

"Oh, just stashed him somewhere." Chat grinned innocently at her.

Without thinking, Ladybug let go of his wrists before clasping them around Chat's neck. He instantly began choking under her vice like grip. He looked completely stunned, and to be honest, so was Ladybug. But right now, all she cared about was making sure that Adrien was safe. She would figure out a way to sort Chat out later and come up with a better plan to defeat Hawkmoth, figuring it would be easier now that she knew who he was. All she had to do was find Master Fu and then maybe he could help her. Help her stop Hawkmoth. Help her bring her kitty back.

"TELL ME WHERE HE IS!" Ladybug screamed at him again, her fingers now acting as tiny boa constrictors, cutting off Chat Noir's air supply one tighter squeeze at a time.

That tactic didn't seem to be working though. Ladybug didn't have it in her to continue squeezing, and her panic further worsened as Chat's face began to gradually turn a deep shade of purple, staring at her fearfully, his eyes seemingly silently pleading with her, unable to speak.

Ladybug's eyes darted towards Chat Noir's ring. If he truly had turned to the dark side then she needed to cut off his source of power. It was what Master Fu would want her to do.

As if sensing exactly what she was thinking, with his hands now free, Chat reached up with both his arms and legs, throwing Ladybug off him. Her back painfully collided with the beautifully detailed tiled wall of the kitchen, some of the tiles smashing and cracking loudly beneath the force.

Ladybug grunted, her vision blurring slightly as she slid back down to the ground, her knees bruising as she did so. Fighting the urge to just give up and allow herself to lose consciousness, Ladybug's vision finally cleared to see Chat Noir stalking towards her. The deranged, playful smirk that had adorned his face was now gone and replaced with nothing but cold-hearted seriousness and a menacing frown. His eyes were dull, and Ladybug felt like she was looking at a complete stranger. It shattered her heart into a million pieces. Her partner…perhaps she was in denial before, but…she had truly lost him…

"Give up, Ladybug," he growled at her, "now, hand me your miraculous."

"Never!" Ladybug gasped out, still feeling winded from her collision with the wall. "I would rather die! You should know that."

Chat Noir's smile returned, and Ladybug wasted no time in darting out of the room. She turned a corner, panicking when she heard Chat Noir calmly walking after her. Ladybug found herself back in the main hall, and she began desperately looking around, trying to come up with an idea.

Chat Noir's footsteps grew closer and closer, each one echoing around the room, making Ladybug feel like she was surrounded on all sides. With a frantic gasp, Ladybug scaled up one of the marble pillars, climbing until her head was almost touching the ceiling. Chat Noir entered the room and frustratingly paused in the centre, just like he had done in Adrien's bedroom.

Ladybug frowned, really beginning to feel like he could just sense her presence and was only prolonging the moment for sick kicks. That thought nearly caused Ladybug to lose her balance and slip, but she caught herself just in time. She slowly released one of her arms from the pillar, keeping her eyes glued to Chat Noir as she reached for her yo-yo, ready to attack as soon as he looked up at her.

He remained as still as a statue though, his back remaining turned to her, his black, leather cat ears remaining turned in her general direction. Ladybug held her breath, her whole body completely tense as she waited to see what Chat Noir would do next. Small chills ran down her spine and a single droplet of sweat trickled down her forehead.

Chat still did not move.

With each painfully slow second that ticked by, Ladybug's heart rate increased to impossible speeds. The sight of Chat behaving like this both terrified and pained her. She needed to find Adrien, and any time she spent playing this sick, twisted game of hide and seek with Chat just left the love of her life in terrible danger.

Growing impatiently, Ladybug decided it was best to risk it. She launched her yo-yo towards the still frozen body of Chat Noir to which he abruptly raised his baton and deflected her strike without even turning around.

Ladybug gulped, her grip slipping even more. Swallowing her fear, she let go and fell to the floor before Chat Noir finally turned his head around to look at her. Ignoring him, Ladybug began attempting to run to the other side of the mansion to look for Adrien, no longer caring that Chat Noir would follow her, instead only caring about getting Adrien out of there alive.

Yo-yo kept in hand, she kept on running not daring to look back.

However, Ladybug screamed when her ankles collided painfully with hard metal. She instantly toppled to the floor with a thud, and Ladybug screamed again, both in pain and frustration as the realisation set in that she might have just twisted her ankle. In the process of falling, she lost her grip on her yo-yo, watching in horror as it continued to slide down the hall and out of her reach.

Ladybug looked back in terror, seeing that it was Chat Noir's baton she had tripped over. He had extended it to match the width of the hall and tossed it beneath her while she had been running.

Chat Noir didn't react to seeing her in pain on the floor, and that sight caused Ladybug's heart to nearly burst in her chest from the pain and betrayal.

He really did no longer care about her.

Ladybug wasn't sure why he kept surprising her with his behaviour; for some reason it just wasn't sinking in that he had turned on her. Ladybug felt like she was living in some sort of nightmare. Only much to her horror, she wasn't waking up.

This was real.

The worst had happened.

Ladybug turned back around and began to try and crawl forward and reach for her yo-yo. However, her attempts were futile. The worst part was, she knew that. Ladybug yelped as she felt Chat Noir grab her by the legs and easily pulled her further away from her weapon. She kicked and screamed as best as she could, all the while Chat remained cold and uncaring as he dragged her back towards Hawkmoth's lair. She tried to arch her back, tried kicking him, but everything hurt too much, and Chat was just so much stronger than her right now.

"NOOOO!" Ladybug screamed, begging and pleading, knowing what was coming next. She clutched at her earrings as Chat continued to drag her along the floor.

However, she began to feel footsteps against the cold, titled ground, and Ladybug looked up again to see that Hawkmoth had left the safety of his office, standing a few feet away from them before slamming his cane against the ground, the vibration almost deafening her and causing her ears to ring. Chat Noir paused as well, still gripping her legs tightly, and both of them watched as Hawkmoth picked Ladybug's yo-yo off the ground, inspecting the weapon with a look of fascination and awe on his face.

"For so long now I have yearned to have this weapon in my hands." Hawkmoth almost sounded giddy with excitement. "And soon it will be mine. Take her to the lair!" he ordered Chat Noir.

Ladybug screamed as Chat Noir began dragging her again, trashing around and flailing her arms. Finally, she managed to twist herself around and arched her back so that she could launch herself off the ground and towards Chat Noir. Chat's eyes widened as he registered her suddenly flying towards him, and Ladybug used her new position to kick Chat Noir as hard as possible with both of her legs. Her feet collided with his stomach, and Chat huffed as he was sent flying backwards, losing his grip at last on Ladybug's legs.

Preparing to run, Ladybug stumbled slightly as she tried to push herself up off the ground, and she thought she was going to finally be able to make a break for it when she felt something slash against her back. Ladybug screamed and was immediately sent crashing back down to the floor again, her back feeling like it was on fire. It felt like a warm liquid was now trickling down her back, and Ladybug quickly reached her hand around to check to see what it was. She pulled her hand away and gasped when she saw that it was blood.

Gasping in fear, Ladybug twisted around despite the stinging and throbbing pain in her back to see Hawkmoth glaring down at her, his cane now having formed into what looked like some sort of sword. Her blood now stained it, and in her panic, Ladybug tried to get up again, only to immediately fall back down, the pain in her back now almost unbearable.

Hawkmoth then growled, reached down to grip one of her pigtails, pulling her up by it and causing Ladybug to scream in pain, grabbing his hand to try and loosen his grip. Tears finally freely cascaded down her cheeks, and she began sobbing fearfully, still trying to thrash her way free from Hawkmoth despite the immense pain that she was in.

Chat Noir stared at her with a blank expression, and honestly, that hurt so much more than the wound in her back.

Hawkmoth continued to drag her back down to his office, with Chat Noir following not too far behind. Ladybug began trying to kick at Hawkmoth's legs, hoping to trip him up, but Chat Noir quickly caught onto her plan and grabbed hold of her legs again, not letting go, despite how much Ladybug tried to thrash around. Her scalp was now in so much pain from Hawkmoth practically dragging her whole body weight by her hair.

They arrived back into the office, and Ladybug was expecting to be pounced on for her miraculous, but was shocked when they both continued on, walking towards a giant portrait of Emilie Agreste. Her kind green eyes stared down at them, along with the hundreds of other eyes in the portrait that almost resembled a peacock's feathers.

With his one free hand, Hawkmoth pressed some of the eyes, in almost like some sort of coded pattern. Ladybug watched, completely terrified but almost transfixed. Then she remember what Hawkmoth had said about a lair. Of course someone like him would have one. In there, he would be safe to terrorize Paris without ever putting himself in danger.

Upon pressing the final eye, the ground beneath them gave way, startling Ladybug and causing her to unfreeze and begin trying to fight against Hawkmoth and Chat Noir again. Her eyes once again looked up and met the green eyes of Emilie.

"What would your wife and son think of all of this?!" Ladybug snapped at Hawkmoth.

Hawkmoth's face twisted slightly. "I'm doing all of this for them."

"And you?" Ladybug turned to Chat Noir, glaring at him like he was nothing more than scum. "What the heck do _you_ get out of all of this?"

Chat Noir didn't say anything, however, Ladybug couldn't help but notice that his face was almost as white as a sheet. But his eyes remained hard as he refused to look at her, simply staring straight ahead, like some robot slave waiting for orders.

The strange elevator finally made it to the bottom, and Ladybug found herself in an empty and dark room that was filled with nothing but white butterflies…akumas. Ladybug gasped as she looked around before staring up at the large, wide window that looked out onto the city. However, the city view was blocked by a tall wall of flames and smoke. The whole house was now beginning to feel hot as fire began to consume it, but Hawkmoth and Chat Noir didn't seem too phased by that fact.

Safely in the lair, and with Ladybug having no hope in escaping, Hawkmoth turned his attention to her once again, grinning as he pulled her up so she was in a semi-standing position. Chat Noir wrapped his arms around her waist and arms to stop her from squirming free. Meanwhile, Hawkmoth stood in front of them, his eyes greedily gazing at her earrings, his hands reaching up, ready to take them.

Sweat poured down Ladybug's forehead as she held her breath. Her eyes were wide with fear as she felt Hawkmoth finally tightly grip her ears, trying to yank her earrings straight out. She could feel their magic beginning to fade. She was engulfed in a bright light as her powers began to fade along with her superhero suit. Any second now, her real identity would be exposed to them.

Her heart had stopped in her chest, and Ladybug knew that she would have to act fast before it was too late. She was losing, but she still had one last chance to try and break free and get out of there. She couldn't let them take her miraculous. She would rather die than let them get their hands on it.

Out of nowhere, Ladybug ducked forward, dragging Chat Noir with her and causing him to head-butt Hawkmoth, knocking the supervillain backwards with a painful start. Ladybug kept going though, ultimately launching Chat Noir over her back and almost knocking both him and Hawkmoth to the other side of the room.

Ladybug saw her chance and bolted. Annoyingly, she was without her yo-yo, but there was no way that she was going to chance fighting Hawkmoth for it. No, she needed to focus on getting out of there. She would just have to leap her way to safety.

Launching herself up into the air, Ladybug began to make a break for the hole in the ceiling where the elevator had dropped down, hopping from one wall to another. The dim light of the office glowed up above, her one hope of escape and safety. She kept her eyes pinned to it, determined to get out of there. But it wasn't long before something flashed in the corner of her eye, and Ladybug turned her head just in time to see Hawkmoth flying towards her, the shine of his sword having been what caught her attention.

His eyes were on fire, as if what Ladybug had just done to him was the final straw, and there was a look of pure malicious concentration on his face as Ladybug flew in front of the window, mid-jump. Everything felt like it happened in slow motion. Blue eyes met grey eyes as Hawkmoth twisted his body and his foot collided with Ladybug's stomach. She felt sick as she was knocked backwards while Hawkmoth simply fell back to the floor, landing gracefully on his feet before Ladybug's terrified eyes met Chat Noir's, their gazes locking together.

Betrayal.

Nothing but a deep burning betrayal that scalded her more than the flames that surrounded her.

How could he?

How could he do this to everyone? To Paris? _To her?_

The look of horror in his green eyes was the last thing she saw as her back painfully collided with the large round window. The glass shattered into millions of pieces upon impact, impaling her skin and painfully stabbing her. Ladybug barely had any energy to cry out.

It was all too much.

Chat's betrayal swirled around in her head, a dizzying whirlpool of emotion: hurt, anger, confusion. Blood trickled down her skin, but in that moment, Ladybug couldn't bring herself to care.

She had failed.

Hawkmoth smiled sadistically at her, still clutching her yo-yo in his hand, waving at her, mocking her with the one tool that would save in her life in that moment. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. Maybe it was. Maybe all of this was just a dream. One horrible nightmare and at any moment, Ladybug would wake up. Everything would be normal.

But no.

This was real.

Making peace with that thought, Ladybug closed her eyes. This was it. This was how it was going to end for her. She was about to die. Perhaps it was better this way. This way, she would never have to face up to her failings. Hawkmoth had won, and she would atone for that with her death.

The wind whipped through her hair as she fell, and hot ash clung to her skin as she fell, burning her – a taste of what was to come. The air around her grew hotter and hotter as she fell towards the raging inferno below. Wanting to make this as quick and painless as possible, Ladybug rotated herself as she fell, making sure her head would be the first to hit the ground. There was nothing on the wall for her to grab and stop herself from falling.

This truly was it.

The faces of her loved ones flashed across her mind…her mother, her father, Alya…Adrien.

She would never get the chance to tell him how she really felt about him. But in this moment, she could at least pretend. As the air continued to grow hotter, she imagined it was Adrien's warm embrace as he wrapped his arms around her, admitting that he loved her too. A small smile crept onto Ladybug's face as she imagined his lips pressed against hers, her whole body igniting under his very touch.

"Adrien…" Ladybug whispered.

A sharp pain that Ladybug had never experienced before engulfed her whole body, completely knocking all of the air out of her body and stopping her heart dead in its tracks. A bright pink light filled her vision, and then everything went black.

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 **10,000 words...**

 **Phew, this was a hard chapter to write. I'm not really one for writing action scenes, getting the detail down and keeping it interesting is always difficult. So I hope that I've done an alright job of things. Also, I apologise for the sections which were a repeat of flashbacks you'd already seen. I didn't want to do it, but it was the only way that I could have the chapter make sense, especially since I thought it was only fair that I finally give you guys a detailed flashback of that night from Marinette's perspective. Plus, there's a lot of important information in that moment that you guys might have missed beforehand that you might find easier to spot now, and I suppose it represents how repetitive flashbacks can be. As always, please feel free to leave a review, and don't forget to vote in my poll if you haven't already. See you guys again soon!**


	29. Confronting Fears

**Hey guys, I'm so sorry about the over month long hiatus. If you keep up with my blog, then you already know why. I just had so much going on and I was in a really bad place, so I needed to prioritise getting better so that I could write properly again. Thank you so much to everyone who sent messages of support, you're all so kind. I really hope that this chapter doesn't come across as rusty as a result of my break. But thank you so much for being patient and for all of your wonderful reviews!**

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 **Chapter 29: Confronting Fears**

Emptiness.

That was all that he felt.

He was nothing more than a hollow shell as he remained sat sunken in his seat, the hole in his chest pulsating, his heart having vanished, stripped away and burned, just like _she_ had been. It was nothing but ashes, lost out there somewhere, with no hope of it ever being found again, leaving him empty and with nothing keeping him alive. But despite being empty, his body felt heavy, and he barely had any energy to even move a finger, especially now that he was here, possibly facing everything that had happened.

Why was he here?

He didn't want to be.

He had told himself that he would never show up here. That he didn't care what happened because all that had mattered to him in this universe was now gone. Maybe that's why he was here. To see the one final thing he cared about being taken away. Maybe it was some sick form of closure. Maybe he was just being selfish, making sure that he didn't talk and expose everything that he had done.

Not that it would matter. If he was arrested and went on trial too, he wouldn't care. In fact, it was nothing less than he deserved. He should be locked away from society too. If anything, he was just as responsible for everything that had happened that night, if not more so.

He could have prevented all of this.

But no prison would ever compare to the prison he was now locked within inside his mind. It was like he was sealed inside his own brain, looking out at the world through his eyes, only he was no longer in control. His body continued to do things, walk about, occasionally feed and water itself, but he never paid attention to those things. All he could concentrate on were the memories…those horrible _horrible_ memories.

Memories of the incident that had sucked all of the life out of him. Memories that would be brought back to the forefront of his mind here today. Luckily, he had missed most of it. It was only today that he had finally decided to show up, to see his cold, grey eyes one final time. To gaze at his face as he was taken away, likely forever.

Then he would have nothing.

The lights of the courtroom felt warm and intense, baking Adrien in his thick sweatshirt that he had worn to try and hide his identity. He sunk further into his seat as people began looking around the room in anticipation. Everyone was silent, apart from the odd person who would clear their throat every now and again. No one dared say anything in case they missed something. You could cut through the tension of the room with a knife, and Adrien's stomach kept twisting itself into tight knots.

He shouldn't be here.

He should leave.

If anyone spotted him here, then he would never be left alone. It would be all over the news. It would make it look like he cared. Adrien was simply here to stare at the man who had murdered the love of his life in the face. The man who had terrorised Paris for nearly a year, who had lied to and manipulated everyone – even his own son. Adrien craved the satisfaction of seeing his face when he would be told that he would be locked away from the world forever, an almost fitting punishment for after all of the years he had locked his own son away. Now he would almost get a taste of what it had been like for him.

But no punishment would ever be enough, and Adrien could feel anger rising from his stomach, and bile rising up his throat as he struggled to contain himself. His fingers gripped the underside of his wooden seat, desperate to prevent himself from standing up and screaming, letting out all of the pain and anger that he was feeling. But such emotions still did nothing to fill the hollowness that was inside him. Nothing would.

The only people who ever could were now gone.

Adrien could barely pay attention as muffled voices began to fill the courtroom. He followed suit as everyone rose to their feet as the judge entered the room. Meanwhile, Adrien kept his gaze firmly on the ground, his black hood falling over his face. He had briefly worried about his casual looking attire raising questions, but people seemed more focused on waiting for what was about to happen.

It felt like he was underwater. His ears felt clogged as they began to ring slightly. His stomach dropped down to his feet as the air in the courtroom continued to grow heavier and heavier. It pressed down on him, making his breathing laboured as beads of sweat began to form on his skin. He felt sick. He wanted to run out, but an invisible force kept stopping him, forcing him to face what was about to happen. It was like little demons had pinned his shoulders down, forcing him to endure this hellish torture.

This was it.

He had to do this.

Gulping down what little saliva had pooled into his dry mouth, Adrien finally dared himself to lift his head ever so slightly, his eyes initially focused on the bottom of the wooden dock. Police officers and guards surrounded it, all of them stood diligently, staring straight ahead. From the corners of his eyes, Adrien could just about make out the lone figure that was being so heavily guarded.

His eyes couldn't help but be drawn towards the figure, yet at the same time, Adrien couldn't bear to look at him. Repulsion coursed through him, causing his stomach to quiver once again. His hands shook, and his mind became a violent whirlwind, making it feel like the room was spinning around him. Everything was a blur until Adrien blinked, causing a few warm tears to trickle down his cheeks.

He sniffed and quickly wiped them away with the back of his sleeve. He couldn't be weak today. He had to see this through. He had to make sure. He had to know. He needed this masochistic form of closure. It wouldn't soothe the pain, but at least he could hope that it would calm him somewhat, knowing that…that… _Hawkmoth…_ was locked up exactly where he belonged.

He needed to see this.

Taking a deep breath, Adrien finally forced himself to look up at the man stood in the dock. His posture was as rigidly still as it always was, with handcuffs pinning his hands behind his back. The dark suit he wore for court contrasted with his now sickly pale skin. His face was slightly thinner and gaunter looking. His usually tidy platinum hair was now slightly unkempt with stray strands sticking up in random directions. His posture gave nothing away, but the façade was beginning to wear away on his face; a physiognomy that now matched his broken mind. A mind that broke long ago when his mother disappeared.

But then his gaunt face began to turn, stormy grey eyes meeting dead green ones. Their gazes locked, and Adrien couldn't help but remain hypnotised, like a snake caught in the wide-eyed gaze of a charmer. Gabriel Agreste stared directly through the crowd, as if he was immediately able to sense Adrien's presence, his eyes boring into Adrien's very soul…

Chat Noir's eyes snapped open, the ghost of Gabriel's eyes still staring at him from deep within the darkness, causing Chat Noir to gasp and jolt upright. He blinked a few times before rubbing his eyes, able to feel the cold sweat on his face despite his leather, black gloves. His heart pounded in panic as Chat desperately attempted to rub his eyes and remove his father's cold gaze from his vision.

The grey eyes disappeared, and Chat Noir finally opened his eyes again, confused as to why he was sleeping in his superhero form before all the memories of the previous day came flooding back to him. Memories of baking with Marinette, the two of them play fighting, the sudden strange urge he had while he had her pinned beneath him, and Alya's insanity before falling asleep with Marinette in his arms.

Chat Noir then gasped, looking down at his arms which were now empty. He quickly looked behind him, but the bed space next to him was empty too, filled with nothing but wrinkled sheets. The room was still dark, the glow from the city seeping into the room between the curtains. Panic immediately began to rise in Chat Noir's chest again as the thought of Marinette being missing began to sink in.

"Marinette?" he immediately called out into the darkness, getting ready to pounce down from the bed and go looking for her. What if someone had taken her?! Was she hurt?! Was she sick again?!

"I'm here," a soft, quiet voice replied from the darkness of the room below.

In his haste to look around the room, he must have missed her. Sitting in her desk chair just below him, was Marinette, her legs stretched out in front of her, her hands resting on her thighs while she stared blankly into the darkness in front of her. Chat Noir then remembered that it was probably almost pitch black in Marinette's room right now, which just made the fact that she was sat frozen in the dark even more odd to him.

"What are you doing?" Chat Noir asked incredulously, but also slightly worriedly, as he reached over to switch one of her lamps on before going back to staring down at her from her bed.

Marinette didn't even flinch as the lamp of the light filled the room. The only movement he could make out was her pupils adjusting to the light. The rest of her body remained completely frozen, a blank expression still on her face, her blue eyes distant. She continued to remain motionless as Chat Noir immediately leapt down from her bed, rushing over to her in worry.

Finally, Marinette flinched when Chat Noir placed a hand on her shoulder, though it was not the reaction that he had been hoping for. Immediately, Chat yanked his hand back as if he had been burned, despite her shoulder being freezing cold. Hurt stabbed at his chest. Was Marinette okay? Had he hurt her? He certainly hoped that she wasn't having some sort of relapse and that she wouldn't tell him to get out again.

He wasn't sure if he could bear it this time.

Before it had all just been one big game. He found it amusing to annoy her, finding her new-found feistiness interesting while also finding it intriguing as to why Marinette had changed so much. But now he deeply cared about her. Her opinion of him meant everything to Chat. He didn't want to scare her anymore. He didn't want to be the terrifying vigilante of Paris. All he wanted to do now was to help Marinette get better. It may be his last and only heroic act. But if anyone deserved all of the help in the world, it was Marinette.

"Are…are you okay?" Chat asked nervously, terrified of her rejecting him again.

"I'm sorry." Marinette took a deep breath before burying her face in her hands. "I just had a bad dream, that's all. I often get jumpy after them."

Much to Chat Noir's shock, Marinette reached down to gently grab hold of Chat Noir's hand again, focusing her gaze on the palm of his hand as she tangled and untangled their fingers together, causing Chat's cheeks to heat up slightly. His heartrate increased, and he became glad that he was wearing gloves as the palm of his hands began getting sweaty.

He stared down at Marinette as she continued to focus her gaze on his hand, continuing to play with his fingers with a furrow forming in between her eyebrows. Her face was pale, and he could still tell that she was incredibly shaken. From spending so much time with her at this point, Chat Noir knew that she would occasionally have nightmares, but he didn't know that they could get this bad.

But he of all people knew how Marinette felt. She was so much like him in so many ways. Chat Noir was almost beginning to feel like that it was destiny that he had met Marinette that night. Like they were meant to come together because they were both experiencing a similar pain. He understood Marinette more than he had ever understood anyone before, and he was beginning to feel like he could be himself once again when he was around her. He couldn't completely forget everything that had happened, but it was almost as if he could accept that part of himself more when he was around her. He could accept the past. He could accept what happened.

He…he could almost let go…

That was until Chat Noir blinked and once again saw his father's grey eyes staring at him from behind his eyelids again. It was such a brief flash, but Chat knew that they were there and that they were always watching him. He would never be able to run away from them. In his dreams they continued to haunt him, just as Marinette continued to be haunted by whatever had happened to her.

"I know how you feel," Chat Noir sighed out, looking away, "I get really bad nightmares too."

"Y-yeah, so I saw."

Chat Noir immediately snapped his head back around to look at her with wide eyes. "W-what do you mean?"

"You were tossing and turning in your sleep," Marinette explained, staring up at him sadly, "you were whimpering and mumbling about things that I couldn't understand."

Chat Noir breathed a small sigh of relief. "I…I can get nightmares about that night sometimes…" he managed to force himself to admit.

It felt…almost liberating to get that off his chest. To admit to something like that to someone. He knew that he appeared weak. Superheroes weren't supposed to be effected by stuff like that. Superheroes were strong. They got the job done and they didn't dwell on things. They weren't supposed to be afraid, let alone be afraid of memories of things that happened a long time ago.

But he wasn't a superhero anymore, Chat Noir thought to himself with a high degree of sadness and shame. He became the villain the instant he came up with his stupid plan and decided to put it into practice. He was the reason his mother couldn't be saved. He was the reason his father had become so insane and obsessed. He was the reason that the love of his life was dead.

"I…" Chat Noir choked as tears began to pool in his eyes. "I…what happened that night…it was all my fault. I was stupid. I…I couldn't save her… _I couldn't save her!_ "

Before Chat Noir even realised what was happening, he broke down in a heap on the floor, unable to contain the sobs that burst free from his chest like an angry beast. It split his ribcage, unleashing howl after howl of never ending pain. Saying those words out loud…knowing and admitting that it was his own fault that he couldn't save her…it was all too much. It was like he had opened a huge flood gate and now everything was trying to come pouring out of him.

He barely registered the feeling of Marinette's arms wrapping around him, her small frame now sat in front of him, unable to keep himself from burying his face in her shoulder, breathing in her sweet scent. It had an instant calming effect on his body, and he felt safe in her arms, however, it still didn't stop all of the sobs of grief that had built up for so long.

What was Marinette doing to him? Why did this feel so wrong yet so right? So good yet so bad? He felt extremely guilty. Marinette was the one upset and had woke up afraid, yet here he was having a mental breakdown on her, and she was the one comforting _him._ It should have been the other way around.

At that thought, Chat Noir instantly began fighting back his sobs again, storing them away in the box inside his chest that was always constantly overflowing, constantly threatening to burst under the pressure. He sealed the lid back onto it tightly, ensuring that no more were going to escape. It immediately began rumbling again, but the pressure was less this time now that he had let some of it out, like a tight belt had been loosened slightly around his waist.

Though getting a grip of himself was on the easier side, willing himself to remove himself from Marinette's embrace was another intense battle all together. He wanted to stay curled up in her arms for all eternity. He wanted to let her look after him forever, never having to face anything, never having to deal with anything ever again. Here, he was safe, loved, accepted. Marinette made him feel better, and the closer he was to her, the more he felt like he could breathe again.

However, when he did finally force himself to pull away from Marinette and look back up at her, he was shocked to find that she was once again frozen in place. Her gaze was firmly planted on the floor again, a furrow between her eyebrows as so many different emotions flashed across her eyes so quickly that Chat Noir didn't have enough time to process and recognise them. It looked like she was fighting back tears as her expression finally seemed to settle on one of unbearable pain and disgust.

"It wasn't your fault, Chat," Marinette said firmly and matter-of-factly.

Chat Noir stared at her in confusion, unable to think of a response in time before Marinette continued.

"I… _Ladybug_ …she…" Marinette clenched her hands into tight fists, closing her eyes as her jaw also clenched.

Chat Noir quickly interrupted her, once again annoyed at himself over the fact that she was the one trying to comfort him and not the other way around. Plus, he still couldn't bear the sound of anyone else mentioning _her_ name. It was still like a stab to the chest every time someone did so. No matter how much he cared about Marinette, no one else was worthy enough to mention her beautiful angelic name.

"It doesn't matter about me," Chat interjected quickly, "you were the one who had the really bad nightmare to a point where it left you shaking. _I_ should be the one comforting _you._ "

Marinette froze for a second in shock before frowning and moving back up to sit on her desk chair again, sitting in the same position once again. Her eyes grew distant, and Chat Noir just knew that she was re-living something…something bad. He knew that look. He had seen it in his own eyes, he had watched himself in mirror as it happened. That distant dissociative look. The haunting blankness, the thousand yard stare, the flickers of fear.

Chat once again tried to place a hand on her shoulder, only this time, Marinette purposefully picked it up and removed it. That stung, and Chat Noir found himself automatically backing away before forcing himself to remain in place. She didn't mean it. It was just the fear. It wasn't anything personal. She just wanted a bit of personal space. That was okay. Chat could give her that.

"I really don't understand why you care so much about me," Marinette finally pondered out loud.

Chat Noir blinked and was about to protest before Marinette interrupted him.

"I'm a bad person. I've done some very bad things. I'm probably the worst and most villainous person alive…" Marinette trailed off as her breathing began to hitch and her eyes began to gloss over.

"Hey," Chat Noir protested softly, bending down so that he could sit crouched down in front of her, cupping her cheeks between the palms of his hands, using his thumbs to stroke away any stray tears that managed to cascade free from her blue eyes. "Of course you're not a bad person."

"But I am though," Marinette chocked out, "I've made some terrible mistakes and done some terrible things. Everyone would hate me if they knew. I hate _myself._ But I just can't seem to stop myself from hurting people and letting bad things happen. All I do is mess up. I keep hurting people and putting people at risk."

Tears continued to fall from her eyes as Chat Noir just watched her, trying to hide his confusion and curiosity under a soft expression. He had absolutely no idea what Marinette was babbling on about right now. But he found it incredibly hard to believe that there was any truth to what she was saying. Something had probably happened and she blamed herself for it. Marinette was a sweet girl who could never do anything as horrible as she was making out that she had.

"Come on, I find that hard to believe," Chat voiced his thoughts, continuing to wipe tears from her cheeks.

"Yeah, but you don't know…" Marinette gasped out, beginning to tremble, "listen, Chat…I…"

"Ssssh." Chat smiled softly at her. "You don't have to tell me. Please don't ever feel like you have to tell me what happened to you, especially if you're uncomfortable and don't feel like you're ready."

Marinette stiffened.

"And even if you do decide to tell me one day," Chat Noir continued, "I'll always be here for you. I'm sure whatever happened wasn't down to you, and even if it partly was, we all make mistakes and we change. I mean, I'd be a hypocrite if I was to judge you and hate you for anything that you've done. You've accepted me and helped me, despite knowing what I am. So I think if anyone can be forgiven, you can."

Marinette remained stiff and silent, her eyes cast downwards as her jaw clenched and unclenched. It looked like she was completely lost in thought, and her eyes began to grow haunted again. He hated seeing that look on her face. He hated the thought of her feeling guilty over something. He out of anyone knew what guilt did to people. It ate away at your insides until you were nothing but a hollow shell, where even the slightest reminder could shatter you. It was a heavy burden that sat on your shoulders, making you feel like a huge boulder was strapped to your back, threatening to crush you as you walked eternally up a steep hill.

Guilt was torture. And he hated to think that Marinette was possibly going through the same torture as him. All the more reason to stick around and help her then. There may be little hope for him, but he saw the chance of getting Marinette back to her normal self. Maybe he could make her happy again. Perhaps it was a task that might help somewhat redeem his own actions, though Chat Noir immediately doubted that thought as soon as it crossed his mind. There was no redemption for him. Just in the awaiting incinerating pits of hell. If hell did exist, that was exactly where he was going.

However, Chat Noir quickly shook his head, forcing himself back down to reality. He could drown in self-pity later, but right now, Marinette needed him.

"There's no forgiving what I did," Marinette whispered so quietly that Chat Noir wasn't even sure if he had heard her say anything at all.

He blinked at her, knowing the deep dark hole that Marinette was about to fall down. He had almost been there himself just a few seconds ago. Right now, he needed to distract her. He needed to get her mind off her nightmare, off her memories and away from these intense feelings of guilt. At that thought, he quickly looked around her room and spotted her sketchbook where the design of Kim's cake was still in plain view.

A light bulb forming over his head, Chat Noir reached over and picked it up before placing it down in Marinette's lap. She looked down at it in confusion, her hands hovering over it slightly almost as if she was scared to simply reach down and touch it. Her shock seemed to be quickly replaced by fear though as she threw it back onto her desk as if it had just burned her.

"Marinette!" Chat Noir cried out in shock.

"What? You were the one who placed it on my lap out of nowhere." Marinette quickly got up, taking a few steps away from her desk while looking away awkwardly, biting her lip.

"I was going to suggest maybe doing some designs. I thought that it might help cheer you up," Chat Noir explained. "You seemed so happy today when you were designing and making that cake for Kim that I thought that it might help you right now."

Marinette's shoulders relaxed slightly. "I…I was…I was happy because…y-you were there with me and helping me. Not because I made a quick design again."

Chat Noir blinked in shock, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly, and it looked like Marinette's were doing exactly the same as he was able to detect a subtle shade of pink forming on her cheeks in the relaxing, dim yellow light of her lamp. She wrapped her arms around herself and continued to look away awkwardly, and Chat Noir couldn't help but think about how cute she looked right now.

He quickly shook his head and cleared his throat. "How come you don't design anymore anyway?" he asked, eager to change the subject slightly. "Why does the concept of it frighten you so much?"

Marinette sighed, unfolding her arms so they swung loosely by her side. She walked over to the window next to her desk and leaned against the wall next to it, staring out into the night time glow of the city of Paris. Her expression was melancholic and anxious.

"I just…I just can't bring myself to do it," Marinette tried to explain. "Every time I would pick up my sketchbook or my pencil, it would just remind me of who I used to be. It was almost like it was mocking me because I wasn't that person anymore. I couldn't come up with any new ideas. I became totally and completely mentally blocked. I…I just stopped caring. I didn't see the point anymore."

Chat Noir knew that feeling all too well. After everything that had happened, he had stopped caring and didn't see the point anymore as well. He and Marinette were definitely more alike than he had first originally thought. It was almost like they had gone through the exact same experiences. They both understood each other in a way that no one else could. Sometimes, looking at Marinette was almost like he was looking in a mirror.

"But I thought you dreamed of being a fashion designer?" Chat questioned.

"I did."

"And you don't anymore?"

Marinette sighed. "I don't know what I want now."

"Well," Chat Noir said as he picked up a pencil and her sketchbook again, "don't you think it's best to try and find out?"

Marinette flinched away slightly at the sight. "I don't think that's quite how it works, Chat."

"Oh come on," Chat pleaded, "you got a burst of inspiration yesterday and managed to make a design without a second thought. Obviously you still have a talent for it, and all of your potential is still locked up in there somewhere."

"Yeah, but that was different."

"How?"

Marinette froze, quickly looking away awkwardly. "Because…errr…because that was for a friend."

Chat Noir rolled his eyes before putting the sketchbook and pencil down and walking up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and guiding her towards her desk, sitting her back down on her chair. Marinette followed limply, staring down at her sketchbook in horror as Chat Noir placed the pencil in her hand.

"So design something for a friend again if that's what helps you," Chat suggested.

Turning around to look at him, Marinette frowned in confusion. "Why does this matter so much to you?"

"Because I hate to think of you giving up on all of your dreams. I know how talented you are. It's a shame for that talent to go to waste. Don't let fear control you. You _do_ care, and you have so much to offer. Your designs were the most wonderful things in the world and I know that you can still do it. Please just at least try," Chat Noir begged.

Marinette was silent for a few moments as she stared down at her sketchbook. She looked at it as if it was a foreign object and not something that was once one of her most treasured possessions that she carried around with her almost everywhere. Chat Noir certainly never remembered seeing her without it. He had always secretly enjoyed watching her in school as she scribbled away, adorably sticking her tongue out as she did so, completely lost to the world. He would love to see her be like that again because he knew that nothing made her happier.

"Fine," Marinette finally huffed before pushing her chair back. "But can I at least get some water for my paints?"

Chat Noir beamed and nodded, unable to stop himself from chuckling at the sulky expression on Marinette's face as she stomped away and headed downstairs to get what Chat Noir assumed was some sort of cup.

Alone in her room, Chat Noir once again found himself unable to stop himself from looking around the room. It broke his heart to see a lack of designs and work everywhere like there once was. Now there was nothing but bare walls and very little sign that this room was inhabited by a very creative and talented individual. It greatly saddened him that whatever had happened had caused this. Caused Marinette to give up on the very thing that she loved the most. That was such an intrinsic part of who she was. His father certainly spotted the talent that she possessed.

Chat Noir quickly shook his head at that thought, terrified of seeing the grey eyes watching him again. A chill ran down his spine as his nightmare forced itself to the forefront of his mind. Soon, the spinal shiver began to spread throughout his body, and his head began to spin as he struggled to force himself to stay focused.

There was no one on earth that Chat Noir desperately wanted to sink his claws into so badly. He remembered how it had felt. The satisfaction as he pierced his father's skin, causing him to scream out loud. Those screams still echoed in his mind until this very day. The realisation in his eyes as he stared at his son. The feeling of his father's sword as it had slashed at his face. The feeling of him being pinned down, preventing him from leaping out of the window after her…

 _Destroy…_ he needed to destroy.

 _No!_

Chat vigorously shook his head again.

Something pulled at his chest, pulling him backwards into the direction of Marinette's desk. It was like something was hooked into his chest, forcing him to turn around and walk towards the desk. The feeling was almost indescribable. It was like something was calling to him, burning his body, forcing him to listen and act. It was like he was caught within the grip of a powerful magnet. That giving in would provide him with peace and ecstasy.

His hand hovered over the same drawer that he had always felt the pull towards. He stared down at it, managing to finally force himself to freeze. No…this was Marinette's room. He couldn't just go snooping through her stuff. Besides, he told her that she kept… _private_ things in there. But Chat Noir was a man. He was an adult. There was nothing to be embarrassed about. He supposed there would be no harm in looking. It was just a desk drawer after all, and Chat Noir could still hear Marinette walking around downstairs before hearing running water in the kitchen.

The urge became too overpowering. No matter what Chat Noir thought, he needed to obey, almost like it was a powerful law of physics.

Unable to resist, Chat Noir pulled the drawer open and gazed inside.

He frowned in confusion. It was just simply stuffed with more pencils, pens and paintbrushes. Chat quickly rummaged through, and it did indeed appear that there was nothing noteworthy inside. The feeling disappeared, and Chat Noir couldn't help but feel relieved, yet also slightly disappointed as he shut the drawer again.

If that was all that was inside, then why hadn't Marinette wanted him to look inside it that one day? It didn't make any sense. Had she perhaps moved the private things that she kept in there? That was highly possible, but none of this explained why Chat Noir got such a strange feeling when he was sometimes around that drawer. It really felt like something was calling to him.

But then again, Chat Noir knew that he hadn't exactly been sane these past few years, so he figured he could just chalk it up to that. But maybe he would have to ask Plagg about it, not that his kwami would even tell him anything or even be interested in the first place.

However, Chat Noir quickly plastered a smile back on his face when Marinette entered the room again, carrying a large cup of water. It still looked like she was sulking slightly, but that expression quickly morphed into one of anxiety and apprehension as she sat back down again. Her hands were shaking slightly as she opened her sketchbook onto a fresh, clean page.

Chat Noir backed off a little bit, worried that she might find his presence looming over her shoulder to be distracting. He wanted to make sure that she tried this out properly again. He knew that she could do it. He had every faith in her.

"Remember," Chat Noir said, "just imagine you're doing it for a friend like you did for Kim yesterday."

Marinette bit her lip, and Chat Noir held his breath as Marinette slowly placed the tip of her pencil down on the paper. She drew a line, and then another and another. Soon, it wasn't long before she was scribbling away again, just like she used to do it school. Her tongue began to slowly ease its way out of her mouth, and Chat Noir couldn't help but smile at the sight.

He watched as Marinette seemed to grow more and more relaxed as she became lost in her design. His heart fluttered in his chest as he continued to watch her. She looked so beautiful as she sat at her desk, drawing. It all looked so natural, as if it was something that Marinette was born to do. Her dark hair would sometimes fall in her face, and Chat Noir watched, transfixed, as she would flick it out of her way. She looked so cute when she stuck her tongue out in concentration, and he felt like he could stand here and just watch her create for an eternity.

The rising sun shone on her like a ray of light, making her look like an angel. Chat Noir's heartrate picked up even more, and he longed for nothing more than to wrap his arms around her again and feel her body pressed up against his. The more time he spent with her, the more he craved her company. It was like she was an addictive painkiller that was gradually healing the giant hole in his chest.

"Finished!" Marinette proclaimed, a hint of excitement in her voice.

"That's amazing, Marinette!" Chat cheered her on. "Let me see."

"No!" Marinette jealously guarded her design to her chest. "It's – errr – it's private."

Chat Noir blinked at her and was about to protest when a voice called from the other side of Marinette's bedroom door.

"Marinette, honey, are you up?" Sabine called. "Would you be able to help us in the bakery before you get ready for the party tonight?"

"Errr, yeah, sure, mom," Marinette called out her reply, and they both sighed with relief when they heard the sound of Sabine's retreating footsteps.

"I guess that's my cue to get going," Chat Noir sighed sadly.

"Do you have to?" Marinette suddenly sounded just as sad as he felt, and Chat Noir could feel his cheeks heating up again.

"I can't exactly stay here on my own while you go to Kim's party." Chat Noir laughed, though it was slightly forced. He really didn't want to have to leave either, but Marinette had things to do and he had imposed long enough. Plus, Plagg would most likely get mad at him for staying transformed for this long, and his grumpy kwami would likely be really hungry.

"I don't even want to go to the party," Marinette sighed out, sounding nervous.

"But Kim's your friend."

"I know, and that's the only reason I agreed," Marinette explained. "But the party is at a club and that means dancing, drinking and loud noise, and I just don't know if I can handle it."

"I'm sure that you can, after all, you faced your fear of designing again today." Chat beamed proudly at her, walking towards her so that he could take hold of her hands. "I'm sure that you'll be fine, and just because everyone else is doing all of that stuff, it doesn't mean that you have to as well. And remember, if you get into trouble, all you have to do is yell for me, okay?"

"O-okay?"

"I promise that I'll come and visit you tomorrow," Chat vowed as he kissed the back of her hands before getting ready to take off.

"Wait!" Marinette begged, quickly grabbing hold of his arm to prevent him from going anywhere.

Chat looked back at her in confusion.

"If I go to this party tonight, then that means that you have to go out too."

Chat furrowed his eyebrows.

"I mean try leaving your house again," Marinette clarified.

"Oh. That."

"Come on, Chat. I want to try and help you too, and like you believe in me, I believe in you. Maybe try and at least go outside today, even if it's just a quick walk down the street and then back again," she suggested.

"I-I don't know if I can…" Chat Noir admitted.

"I believe that you can. Remember, don't let fear control you." Marinette smiled up at him before standing on her tip-toes so that she could plant a kiss on his cheek. "For luck," she said before jumping slightly at the sound of her mother calling her again before running out of her room and down the stairs.

Chat Noir remained frozen for a second, his heart having almost thudded to a complete stop in his chest. He slowly brought his hand up to gently rub the spot where she had just kissed him, his skin still tingling from the feeling of her soft lips pressed against him.

In a daze, he quickly turned around and leapt out onto Marinette's balcony before extending his baton to carry himself back home. All the while, the spot on his cheek continued to burn, longing to feel Marinette's lips there once again.

* * *

 **Wow, I really can't believe that it's been over a year since I published this story. It honestly feels like it was just yesterday. But I am hoping to try and keep picking up the pace with this story, aiming to update at least once a week, especially now that I'm feeling a whole lot better. My poll is still open on whether this story should have a sequel, but make sure you get voting, as I will be closing it Monday 22nd April to make sure that, should the answer be 'yes', I have plenty of time to prepare.**

 **Anyway, please feel free to let me know what you thought of the chapter, as it always helps me out. That's if any of you are still out there after my long break. I still am sorry about that, but it needed to be done. I hope that you're all well and I'll see you again soon!**


	30. Ugly

**Welcome back! We're now onto the very first chapters that I planned for this story, and I've been so excited to write them ever since I came up with the ideas. Thank you so much for all of your awesome reviews for the previous chapter, and I once again apologise to those people who have been binge reading this story and have lost sleep and been distracted as a result. But hey, at least you all seem to be enjoying the story.**

* * *

 **Chapter 30: Ugly**

Marinette sighed to herself for the twentieth time as she properly stared at her reflection in the mirror for the first time in a long time. She had managed to find her old wall length mirror that she had hidden at the back of one of her closets many years ago after everything that had happened. It had taken every ounce of her strength, not to carry the thing back out into her room, but to bring herself to just look at her reflection.

The whole time, her heart had been pounding and her palms had grown sweaty. She knew that she wouldn't see anything as she was still safely covered up in her usual leggings and sweatshirt, but Marinette still knew that they were there, hiding, waiting to serve as a painful reminder. But at the moment, all that stared back at her was her own nervous and anxious face.

It looked like her hair might be starting to get back to its original length, and Marinette couldn't help but lightly touch a few strands of her dark locks, watching her pale fingers contrast against them as she forced herself to focus more on her reflection. Her heart was beating so fast that she was surprised she couldn't see it beating against her sweatshirt. It certainly felt like it was ready to leap out of her chest. Her throat felt tight, almost as if someone had wrapped a rope around it, yet when Marinette looked, there was nothing there.

She had lost weight. That was something else that finally dawned on her. She had always thought that she had, but she had never fully realised just how much until she was seeing herself for the first time. Her face almost looked hollow. However, one thing that caught Marinette's attention was her eyes. There was a small hint of life in them again. A small spark at the very back. It was very faint, but it was there. Marinette didn't think she had seen that in a long time.

But still, she just couldn't stop staring at herself and feeling miserable. She should be happy over some life returning to her eyes again after all these years. Right now though, all she could focus on was how horrible she looked. Too skinny, dark circles under her eyes, pasty skin, her clothes hanging off her, no make-up. She was in way over her head going to this party.

It had been a long time since Marinette cared or paid attention to the way she looked, but right now it was like all the years of not caring had suddenly caught up to her. There was no way she could make herself look decent enough for tonight. She looked awful. She looked terrible. She looked _ugly_.

All of her other friends would no doubt look amazing and glamorous, and she would probably just ruin everything. Most of the dresses she had designed for herself years ago no doubt wouldn't fit her now. They would likely hang off her, highlighting just how ill and horrible she looked.

It was pointless.

"Marinette?" a quiet, concerned voice asked from behind her.

Marinette didn't even turned around, just watching in the reflection of her mirror as her mother's head slowly popped up from behind her bedroom door. Sabine then rose into the room more quickly as soon as she caught sight of her daughter just standing miserably in front of a mirror. Her grey eyes were full of worry as she approached, moving to stand behind Marinette before placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. Marinette leaned into her mother's touch, suddenly realising just how starved she was of affection and human contact after all these years.

"Is everything okay?" Sabine asked. "Why aren't you ready? Won't Alya be here any minute now?"

"It doesn't matter anyway because I'm not going," Marinette huffed as she wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from the mirror.

However, Sabine still kept one hand on her shoulder.

"What are you talking about? It's Kim's eighteenth; you can't just not show up."

"I know, but…I look awful!" Marinette exclaimed, squeezing her eyes tightly shut and clenching her hands into tight fists. "I've got nothing to wear! Not that it would matter if I did anyway because no matter what I wear I'm going to look ugly and horrible!"

Sabine smiled gently, pulling Marinette into a tight embrace. Immediately, Marinette melted in her mother's arms, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. She felt so pathetic and childish right now, but it was still the truth. The party was at a brand new club, and no doubt there was going to be a lot of people there, not just from Kim's party. There was no way she was going to be able to fit in and look the part.

"Where's all this come from? What happened to the confident Marinette?" Sabine asked as she kissed the top of her head before stroking her hair. "I'm sure your friends don't care about what you look like. They'll just be really happy to see you."

"Yeah, but everyone else will be secretly judging me." Marinette sniffed, burying herself even further into Sabine's shoulder.

She could feel her body beginning to shake now. Why couldn't she just stay here? Why couldn't she just stay here tonight with Chat Noir? He was the one person that she felt better around. She didn't have to worry about what she looked like with him. He somehow always managed to make her feel comfortable, just like he used to when they were both superheroes together. He was so accepting and sweet-natured, even if he did annoy her sometimes with his flirting back in the day.

But tonight she would be going way out of her comfort zone. Luckily, everyone else in her class had smaller birthday parties where Marinette could just show her face and sit quietly in the background. Chloé and Sabrina had large parties, but of course Marinette hadn't been invited to those ones.

Memories of Chloé's harsh words to her began to fill her mind.

"I don't want your ugly patheticness ruining my party," Chloé had sneered before flipping her long blonde hair and walking away.

Marinette hadn't really paid attention to it at the time. She stopped caring about Chloé and the hurtful things that she said to her years ago. Marinette didn't even care that she had accidentally allowed Chloé to steal the bee miraculous when she had tried to sneak it into Adrien's locker, not knowing that he had dropped out of school. But right now, Marinette _did_ care. Because Chloé was right.

She _was_ ugly and pathetic.

Sabine sighed before gently turning Marinette around to face her reflection in the mirror again. Cringing back into her mother slightly at the sight, seeing her reflection again did nothing but further confirm her paranoia, especially since she now had her mother to compare herself to. However, Sabine continued to beam at her daughter, still embracing her tightly as they both watched their reflections.

"I find that hard to believe, because do you know what I see?" Sabine asked.

Marinette shook her head.

"I see a very beautiful young woman who is sweet, kind and caring," Sabine spoke with confidence before her voice turned slightly sad. "I…I know you've been having a tough time these past few years, and I wish I knew what the cause of it was and that I can find some way to help. But you mustn't let whatever you have going on in your head morph your perception of yourself. I know that a confident Marinette is in there somewhere. Right now you're a small bud that's waiting to bloom."

Marinette remained silent, shocked by her mother's words as her eyes widened at her reflection. A slight tinge of colour returned to her cheeks, and that long forgotten sparkle lit up behind her eyes momentarily. Marinette, the real Marinette, the old Marinette, was still in there somewhere. She would just have to try and shed this monstrosity of a shell that had engulfed her.

Seeing herself the way that she used to caused her stomach to heat up, and for her heart to flutter inside her chest. She grew as light as a feather, briefly confident and carefree. But it wasn't long before the crushing weight of a thousand blocks of iron sent her crashing back down to Earth. Her eyes grew dark and void again, and the colour in her cheeks suddenly vanished.

Sighing, Marinette quickly looked away in defeat.

"You may not believe it right now, but I've been seeing a huge difference in you lately," Sabine continued to praise. "You are seeming slightly more happy and outgoing. I don't know what's changed again, but I'm very happy to see you like this again. It seems you just need that extra little bit of sunlight after all of that rain to help your petals burst free."

Marinette bit her lip, her mother's words resonating within her mind. It was true. She had been feeling a lot better lately. She still wasn't feeling great, but it was a start, and certainly a much needed relief. Slowly but surely, the weight was being lifted off her back as she struggled to climb up that eternal hill. She was beginning to feel small rays of sunlight against her skin. As she climbed, Marinette felt a presence beside her, and as she turned to look, she was shocked to see Chat Noir climbing next to her, smiling gently at her. Every now and then, he would grab some of the weight off her back and place it on his own. The both of them were working together, helping each other, each of them aiding the other in carrying that crushing weight.

However, Marinette quickly shook her head, feeling her cheeks heat up at the thought of Chat Noir. She would certainly miss him a lot tonight, and she wished that he could be at the party, but that would definitely be out of the question. There was no way that she was going to bump into him tonight. She just hoped that he was okay. She wondered if he had managed to venture outside yet.

The thought of him having conquered his fear gave Marinette that little bit of extra strength that she needed. She could go to this party tonight. Alya had promised that she would stay by her side the whole time, so what was the worst that could happen? No doubt she and Alya would just find somewhere to sit down and stay there. It was no big deal. She could do this.

There was just one problem though.

"But mom, I don't have anything to wear," Marinette complained again. "I've looked through pretty much everything!"

"It looks like I got here just in time then," a familiar voice came from behind the both of them.

Sabine let go of Marinette as they both turned around to stare at the presence that they hadn't realised had entered the room. Alya stood at the top of the stairs that led to Marinette's room, with her arms folded across her chest and a determined smile on her face. However, Marinette couldn't help but be in awe of just how amazing Alya looked. Now that Marinette thought about it, she wasn't sure if she'd ever seen Alya dress this way before. Her best friend usually just wore jeans, a t-shirt and some sneakers. But tonight she looked so sophisticated and grown-up that Marinette almost didn't recognise her.

The bright red dress that Alya was wearing beautifully highlighted her dark skin, clinging tightly to her body and highlighting her curves. The dress had one sleeve on the right that hooked around her neck in a choker-like collar while her other arm remained bare. Stopping just above the middle of her thigh, the dress showed off her long legs, with her black high heels making her look even taller. Her glasses were gone, which Marinette assumed had been replaced by contact lenses. Her make-up was dark, making her hazel eyes stand out, and her hair had been straightened from the thick, typical auburn waves they usually were. She looked absolutely stunning.

This only began to make Marinette feel even more insecure. She would definitely look plain and boring compared to Alya. Her best friend was beautiful and confident. Marinette would probably only cramp her style. Alya was everything that Marinette wished she could be. She had gone through some hardships, losing her favourite hero and splitting up with Nino (though Marinette hoped that she would soon come to her senses), and yet she came out of it all looking fabulous and more confident and determined than she had ever been before.

Why couldn't she be more like Alya?

"Wow, Alya, don't you look amazing," Sabine exclaimed in shock.

Alya laughed. "Thanks, Mrs. Cheng."

Marinette sighed, glaring at her reflection. Sabine and Alya then both went quiet before Marinette watched as the two of them exchanged glances. The typical looks that they would always give each other behind Marinette's back when they thought she wasn't looking. Sabine then shot Marinette a worried look before doing her best to smile reassuringly and quietly left the room.

"Okay, so what are we freaking out over today?" Alya chuckled, shifting her weight to lean on one leg.

Marinette rolled her eyes, turning around to face her best friend properly. "I don't have anything to wear for the party tonight."

"That's ridiculous," Alya quickly disagreed, "you have lots of nice things to wear. Heck, most of it you made yourself and couldn't wait to try out one day."

"Yeah, but most of that is stuff that I made years ago and probably won't fit me anymore," Marinette huffed.

"Your size hasn't changed that much, Marinette. You're still that tiny girl we all know."

Marinette wrapped her arms around herself self-consciously.

"Come on, I'll help you look for something," Alya offered as she began searching through all the clothes that Marinette had strewn across the floor in frustration and panic.

Marinette watched, not bothering to help, already knowing that they wouldn't be able to find anything. Chat Noir had tried to get her back into fashion earlier that day, but so far, it wasn't really working. Sure, she had managed to come up with that design that she could hopefully muster up the motivation to create soon, especially since it was something special, but that didn't mean she was instantly cured of her aversion to her old hobbies. Marinette had spent so long not caring about her appearance and fashion that it was like that area of her brain had now stopped functioning, becoming rusty and covered in dust.

Alya, however, seemed very determined. She scoured the floor, picking up items of clothing and looking at them before throwing them into one corner of the room out of her way. There was no doubt that Alya was on a mission, and that she wasn't going to let Marinette get out of going to the party tonight. Marinette wished that she had thought to go out and buy something, but with everything that had been going on with Chat Noir, things like that just kept slipping her mind. She had even almost forgotten to bake the cake that she had promised Kim.

A frown of deep concentration on her face, Alya then headed over to Marinette's closet and began searching through that as well, not that there was much left in there to look at. It wasn't long before Alya all but disappeared right into the very back, and Marinette began to find herself growing curious. She hadn't really thought to dig deep in there, but still, she doubted there was anything good back there.

"Aha!" Alya suddenly cried out before pulling herself back out and holding something black in the air. "This should do."

Marinette raised an eyebrow, knowing that all of this was likely a waste of time. Whatever Alya had found, there was no way that it would fit her, and she didn't have time to make any adjustments. That's if she could even find her sewing machine. She hid that thing a long time ago too. But Alya seemed pretty satisfied with what she had found as she walked over and held it in front of Marinette.

"I think I even remember when you made this," Alya commented as she stared at the reflection of Marinette with the dress held in front of her body. "You always hoped to wear it to a party and attract Adrien's attention with it."

"But Alya, I made this when I was fourteen," Marinette sighed out, "there's no way it's going to fit."

"Nonsense, you've barely changed." Alya quickly dismissed her, shoving the dress into Marinette's hand before heading towards the bedroom door. "Now hurry up, we're already late enough as it is. You're going to look great, don't worry. Show off some skin for once."

With that, Alya closed the door behind her, heading back downstairs to wait for her.

Marinette gulped as she turned back around towards the mirror, still holding the dress against her body. No way. No way, no way, no way, no way! There was no way that she could wear this! Even if it did still fit her, it would no doubt be shorter on her and expose more of her flesh. What was Alya thinking? Was she trying to make her dress up as some burlesque girl?

Continuing to hold it against her, Marinette's whole body turned cold as she realised just how much of her skin the dress would expose. The dress was black with tiny shoulder straps, with a black belt with a silver buckle attached to the midsection. It was unbelievably short too, barely reaching the middle of Marinette's thigh. This dress was going to expose all of her…

Letting out a panicked yelp, Marinette began frantically looking around her room for a solution. She needed to act fact as Alya would no doubt come up to see what was taking so long. Her eyes zeroed in on her closet before Marinette lunged forward and began rifling through. There had to be something that she still had in here that she could use.

 _Come on, Marinette,_ she inwardly urged herself, her terrified heart practically ready to go into cardiac arrest.

In her haste to get to the back of her closet, Marinette tripped over something that had been flung out onto the floor, and she yelped as she fell forward, instinctively reaching forward to grab the nearest object that she could get her hands on. Something black and leather met the palm of her hand, and Marinette grabbed it, hoping to use it to steady herself. However, the object she had grabbed fell down with her instead, landing on top of her as Marinette collapsed onto the wooden floor of her small closet.

Marinette huffed, grabbing whatever had landed on her face and yanking it off her before she sat up and looked down at it. A black leather jacket. Marinette didn't even know that she had one of these things. Her unmistakable signature decorated the collar, so it must have been something that she had made a long time ago and just never wore. It wasn't really Marinette's style anyway. But tonight, it looked like this jacket would be her saviour.

Now if only she could find something to cover her legs.

Holding the jacket between her arm and chest, Marinette continued to look through everything before coming across a pair of tights that she knew that she kept somewhere. Black high heels that she had also designed had been hidden beneath them, and she grabbed them too, figuring that all of this would have to do. She may look a little bit odd, and she would probably get hot in a nightclub full of people, but it beat the alternative. Marinette would just have to power through.

Sighing to herself, Marinette began undressing, turning her back on the mirror, too terrified to look. She was beginning to feel sick with nerves, she didn't need to actually physically be sick at the grotesque sight of her body. She just hoped that she could pull this off and get away with it. All she had to do was just get through the next few hours. All she had to do was show her face, stay for a little bit, and then she could leave. Then it would all be over and she could hide back in her room. _And see Chat Noir again._

At that thought, Marinette tripped and fell as she was trying to pull her tights over one of her legs. Sprawled out half-naked on the floor, Marinette huffed again, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. It was like she was becoming dependent on Chat Noir lately or something. All she knew is that her heart raced at the thought of finally seeing him again. It had only been a few hours, yet it was like her whole body was yearning for him. It felt like a piece of herself was missing when he wasn't around.

Marinette quickly sat up, quietly groaning over how pathetic she was sounding. Chat Noir invoked such strong and confusing feelings in her that Marinette didn't know which way was up and which way was down. She had never felt anything like this before, never something this intense, and it was so confusing. It spooked her slightly that it almost felt like the crush that she used to have on Adrien, only there was a different intensity to it that Marinette couldn't quite place.

Maybe it was just because she suddenly found herself caring about him again. Deep down, she had always cared, but now all of her repressed emotions towards him were coming rushing back up to the surface. It was really dizzying.

But Marinette couldn't afford to let thoughts of him distract her tonight. The more she thought about him, the more she pined to see him and make sure that he was okay. It also further weakened her determination to try and go to Kim's party.

Biting her lip, Marinette concentrated on pulling her tights up again. She could hear Alya and her parents talking and laughing downstairs, and the clock on her computer was reading that it was nearly eight o'clock. The party had probably already started by now, and they still needed to get there. No doubt the metro would be crowded and busy since people were happy to be able to be out and about after dark again, so everyone was taking full advantage.

Finally fully dressed, she made sure to check herself in the mirror, ensuring that most of her skin was covered up, leaving no sign of what she was hiding underneath. It seemed she was in the clear, but just to be sure, Marinette checked herself at different angles just to make sure that nothing was going to slip out of place and reveal anything that she didn't want to.

The dress actually didn't fit her too badly since she was so underweight, but the length was definitely shorter than she had originally intended it to be. Luckily the jacket seemed to hide most of her embarrassing skinniness from sight, almost making her look like she was healthy weight again. Her high heels made her look taller, and Marinette actually felt a little better having made an effort with her appearance for once. It gave her that much needed boost that she would need for tonight.

Grabbing her purse, Marinette took a deep breath before she headed downstairs. Alya and her parents looked up as soon as they heard her coming down, and both Tom and Sabine smiled at the sight of their daughter wearing something other than a baggy sweatshirt and leggings for a change. Marinette almost felt like she could somewhat pass as a human for a change. The corner of her lips tugged slightly into a genuine smile, however most of her concentration was spent on trying not to trip over or lose her balance.

"You look wonderful, sweetheart," Sabine praised, placing a hand on her chest as she beamed up at her.

"My baby girl is growing up," Tom whispered in horror as he looked like he was about to burst into tears.

Sabine elbowed her husband in the stomach, causing him to wince back slightly before attempting to try and regain some sort of composure over himself. He cleared his throat, still looking slightly frightened and sad, but still easily plastered a smile onto his face as he rubbed the back of his head.

"But you do look great, Marinette," Tom quickly added.

"Not exactly what I had in mind," Alya commented, folding her arms over her chest as her eyes scanned her best friend up and down with a slightly disproving, but still somewhat pleased look on her face. "But it'll do. Now come on, we're going to be late. We'll just have to do your hair and make-up on the way there."

Marinette yelped as Alya grabbed hold of her hand and yanked her down the rest of the stairs before pulling her towards the front door, grabbing the box that contained Kim's cake on the way there. She tripped and stumbled while Alya continued striding forward with purpose, barely giving Marinette a chance to give her parents and parting glance.

"Be safe you two!" Tom called as he waved at them.

"Stay together, and if you need any help, just call and your father will come and get you!" Sabine also called out.

"Don't worry, I'll look after her," Alya yelled back as she began pulling Marinette down the stairs and past the bakery.

Alya checked her phone, grumbling slightly when she noticed just how late they were now. But what shocked Marinette was how Alya simply stopped outside, checking her phone again before looking around impatiently. Marinette watched her, confused as to what was going on. She thought that they were both in a rush?

"What are you doing? I thought we were late?" Marinette voiced her thoughts.

"We are, which is why I called for a taxi. Besides, there's no way I could drag you through the metro with you wearing heels. We'd be there all night," Alya joked, but she wasn't far off from the truth. "Doing your make-up will be easier in a taxi anyway."

"Do I have to wear make-up?" Marinette asked timidly.

"Yes," Alya answered, barely giving Marinette time to finish her question.

Marinette sighed.

"Oh come on, Marinette," Alya pleaded, "can't you for once just try and relax and have some fun? I know that things are hard for you, but tonight you can just forget about all that. We can have some drinks, maybe do some dancing and hang out with our friends. It's going to be a fun night, just you wait and see."

"Okay," Marinette replied a little reluctantly before resulting to begging, "just please promise me that you won't leave me tonight. I don't want to be left alone."

"It's okay, Marinette, just relax. I promise I'll stay with you the whole night," Alya reassured her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

Marinette relaxed slightly now that she definitely had Alya's reassurance that she wasn't going to leave her side. She could do this. She could go to the party. As long as she had Alya by her side, nothing could go wrong. Maybe tonight she could try to relax for a change. She knew that she wasn't going to drink any alcohol, but maybe she could muster up the courage to do a little bit of dancing. It might even help her feel a bit better and help her get her confidence back.

Soon, the taxi was pulling up next to them, and Alya quickly rushed Marinette inside before carefully sitting the box containing the cake on her lap and shutting the door behind her. The taxi pulled out with the driver barely saying a word to them, and Marinette could feel her nerves beginning to take over again as she watched her family bakery disappear in a blur of lights behind them. The roads were as busy and congested as usual, but Alya seemed to relax a little bit more now that they were on their way.

Marinette then watched as Alya began searching through her handbag, pulling out some eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick. Marinette gulped anxiously as the taxi bounced slightly on the road.

"Please be careful," Marinette begged.

"Relax remember?" Alya chuckled as she began applying eyeshadow onto Marinette.

Marinette cringed slightly, terrified of any subtle movements that the taxi made. Luckily, it seemed like Alya had a pretty steady hand, and it wasn't long before she had finished. She shoved a compact mirror in front of Marinette's face, and even she had to admit that Alya had done an awesome job with the dark smoky eye look and the dark red lipstick. She almost looked like a completely different person. She looked like a functioning member of society again. You could barely see the years of personal neglect in her features.

Her eyes sparkled at the thought, making the look even more complete. Her blue eyes stood out beautifully compared to her dark eyelashes and eyelids. Her cheeks had a hint of blush to them, giving her a healthy glow. Marinette now almost looked her age. She could now practically pass as a normal teenager.

Satisfied that Marinette was satisfied, Alya placed the mirror and all of her tools back in her handbag before they both fell into silence, watching the city pass by them. Marinette's stomach kept twisting itself into knots over and over again. A heavy weight pressed against her chest, and Marinette had to fight to control her breathing. Because she _was_ in control. She could do this. It was just a party. Things like this used to be no big deal to her. Alya was right. She needed to relax. Everything was going to be fine.

The taxi pulled up outside a new modern looking club that also seemed to embrace the typical Parisian aesthetic, creating a unique blend between gothic and modern, knowing exactly how to strike the perfect balance. Marinette had to admit that it looked pretty impressive. It looked like a pretty sophisticated place which made her relax a little bit more.

There was a line of people waiting outside to get in, with two bouncers stationed at the door. Marinette could already hear the music from inside, as well as the shouts of people enjoying their night out. A few people were gathered slightly further away from the building, smoking cigarettes (among other things), and Marinette gulped as she turned to look back at the entrance, mentally preparing herself.

Alya paid the driver, opened the door and immediately got out, looking pretty excited. Marinette hesitated though, trying to watch the way Alya moved, hoping to try and copy her behaviour and confidence. Tonight, Marinette would have to try and act as normal as possible. She could already feel the panic and paranoia fighting for control over her body. It kept begging her to yell at the taxi driver and demand for him to take her back home. It longed for her to fling herself back into bed and pull the covers over herself and hide away from the world.

No. This time she wouldn't let it win. She could control this. She could do this.

Taking a deep breath, Marinette slowly opened the taxi door before taking one step outside. As she did so, her eyes drifted towards the crowd of people waiting outside the club. In the distance towards the back, something red caught her attention. A small old man stood a few feet away, both of his hands resting on a wooden walking stick, his remaining grey hair blowing slightly in the breeze. His dark eyes stared directly at her, piercing into her soul. Despite being trapped by his gaze, it was impossible to miss the bright red Hawaiian shirt.

Gasping, Marinette lost her balance and instantly began falling towards the ground. She managed to catch herself with her hands before she could face-plant the ground, but her knees collided painfully with the hard concrete, and a few rogue stones and pebbles dug into the palms of her hand.

Ignoring the pain, Marinette quickly looked up again in panic, her eyes desperately scanning the direction that she could have sworn she had just seen Master Fu standing in. But there was now no one there. It was as if he had vanished into thin air.

Was she going crazy? The whole world seemed to have started moving in slow motion the instant their eyes had met. He had promised to leave her alone. What was he doing there? Had he even been there at all? Was Marinette's mind just playing tricks on her? Surely it was just all in her head. Maybe there had just been a man standing there that looked exactly like him? Maybe it was a trick of the light?

Trying her best to reassure herself, the world picked up back to normal speed again, and Marinette became hyperaware of just how weird she probably looked in this moment. She could hear Alya sigh next to her, and no doubt her best friend was also shaking her head right now. Marinette could definitely feel the eyes of a few people watching her.

There were a few sniggers from the people waiting in line, and Marinette immediately felt her face turn bright red. What a great start to the night. It had never taken much for Marinette to embarrass herself, so she kept trying to convince her brain that this was normal and that she could handle it. She had just fallen, nothing more. She would probably let out a giggle if she had seen someone do the same thing.

"Come on little miss klutz," Alya sighed out, grabbing Marinette's hand and helping her pull herself to her feet.

Marinette smiled awkwardly before brushing herself off. However, it wasn't long before Alya sighed again, causing Marinette to quickly look back up at her best friend in confusion.

"Nice one, Marinette." Alya rolled her eyes before pointing at one of Marinette's legs. "You've laddered your tights now."

Marinette gasped and quickly looked down to check. Her heart leapt into her throat at the sight of a small split going down the middle of her knee, almost down to the middle of her lower leg. However, she soon sighed with relief when she realised that hardly any skin was visible. She would just have to make extra sure that she didn't make the ladder any worse than it already was. It looked a little silly, but she could deal with it.

"Maybe you should just take them off," Alya suggested.

"No!" Marinette yelled a little too quickly.

Alya looked at her weirdly.

Marinette quickly cleared her throat. "I mean, it doesn't really matter. I'll be fine."

"Okaaaay then," Alya said, still looking confused as she began leading them towards the bouncers.

The music grew louder the closer they walked to the building. Marinette barely paid attention as Alya spoke to the bouncers, no doubt explaining that they were there for Kim's party. Her heart was racing again, and Marinette felt her stomach sink as Alya grabbed her hand again and led them both inside.

 _I can do this, I can do this, I can do this,_ Marinette kept chanting to herself as she walked down the dimly lit corridor towards the terrifying party that awaited her.

* * *

 **Uh oh. You guys probably already know that this night isn't going to exactly go as Marinette planned. I ended up having to split this chapter, otherwise it would have been** _ **super**_ **long, so I felt like this spot was a good place to end it and set up what is about to happen, so I apologise if this chapter felt more like filler. Be warned though, the next chapter will contain some pretty disturbing, uncomfortable and some pretty dark and adult stuff. I'm looking forward to writing it, but not looking forward to it at the same time as it's going to be pretty intense. If you're someone who's easily upset or disturbed, then the next chapter might not be for you.**

 **In other news, POLL RESULT TIME! So yeah, 'yes' won by a landslide. You guys seem to be really keen on me making a sequel for this story, which is fine by me, as I already have an idea. The sequel will be called 'Madness Unleashed' and I am now currently working on making plans for that, and the ending of this story has now been altered accordingly, and for the better I think. I feel like my original ending for this story was a bit too rushed.**

 **Feel free to let me know what you thought of the chapter and story so far as it always really helps me out. I'm now aiming to try and update this story every Friday, so keep your eyes open. I'll see you all again soon!**


	31. A Night Out

**Wow, I can't believe that I'm actually managing to stick to a schedule again. Especially since I haven't been feeling too good this week. Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews on the previous chapter! It really makes me so happy to see that people are enjoying this story. You guys are the best!**

 **CAUTION: This chapter contains dark and adult content some readers may find disturbing. This story is rated M for a reason remember.**

* * *

 **Chapter 31: A Night Out**

The vibration of the loud music was the first thing that hit Marinette the closer they got to the doors that led into the main club room. It made her whole body shake, and the deep, low bass echoed in her ears, sending shivers down her spine, and making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. It exacerbated the nervous butterflies that had already been swarming around in her stomach, and her heart's rhythm began to match the loud, fast tempo of the music.

Alya excitedly opened the double doors that led inside, and Marinette was instantly almost blinded by the bright lights that were beaming down from the high ceiling. They changed from red to green, and then back to red again, sometimes flashing between the two colours so rapidly that Marinette's brain almost couldn't process it.

There was a large bar that protruded out from the side in a 'u' shape, bathed in pink and purple light. Bar staff worked on drinks and cocktails as a few guests sat on barstools or leaned against the bar. The floor was nothing but black tiles, giving Marinette the sense that she was floating in some sort of void. Bouncers watched from the very edges of the room, mainly keeping their eyes on the people on the dancefloor in the middle. A wide stage was at the very back of the room where the DJ was currently working, and on the other side of the room to the bar were a few booths with black wooden tables with blue leather sofas.

It was immediately too much for Marinette, and she instantly began to feel herself beginning to panic even more. The club was already pretty crowded, with there being barely any room on the dancefloor for people to move. Not that a lot of people seemed to mind that as they bumped and grinded against each other, drunkenly chatting people up or just laughing and having a good time with friends.

The walls almost felt like they were beginning to close in on her as Marinette gasped for air in the warm, barely ventilated room. Smoke machines sprayed smoke into the screaming and laughing crowd, making visibility even poorer in the room. Marinette definitely knew that she was just going to sit in the corner all night. There was no way she would be able to go anywhere else in the club without having a panic attack or something.

The feeling of Alya's warm hand grabbing hold of her own helped snap her out of her panicked thoughts slightly.

"Isn't this great?" Alya beamed at her before slowly moving the both of them through the crowd and towards the booths at the side of the room.

Marinette didn't respond, gulping as she finally caught sight of most of the people in her class. They were all gathered around one of the booths, talking and laughing. Kim was sat in the middle of it all, a goofy party hat on his head as he smiled and accepted presents off everyone. Max sat next to him, while everyone else stood around, though there was no sign of Nino, Chloé and Sabrina.

Alya seemed relieved when she too noticed that Nino was nowhere to be seen. She let go of Marinette's hand to join everyone while Marinette awkwardly hung around on the outside, trying her best to control her breathing. She vaguely noticed Alya handing Kim his cake before he got up and pulled Marinette into a tight hug. Marinette awkwardly patted his back in return as he squeezed her, making her gasp for air even more.

"It's great, Marinette, I love it!" Kim yelled over the music.

"Let her go, Kim, you're squeezing the life out of her," Alya chuckled out, walking back over to pull them apart, much to Marinette's relief.

"Sorry," Kim laughed as he put Marinette back down on the ground.

"H-happy birthday, Kim," Marinette managed to wheeze out as she rubbed her ribs.

"Thanks!" Kim beamed as he headed back over to open some more of his presents.

Marinette took a deep breath as she watched all of her friends having fun together. They seemed so confident and at ease here. They had all grown up so much, and it was only now that Marinette began to pay attention to their mannerisms and the way they now interacted with each other. She had excluded herself for so long that it was like she had now suddenly woken up from a coma four years later. She was finally starting to see her friends properly for the first time in years. It was a very strange feeling. This might even be the last time they were all together and having fun before they all headed off to the next stages of the life, getting jobs or going to university.

"Are you alright?" Alya asked as she caught Marinette staring at everyone sadly.

"Yeah," Marinette replied, being brought out of her deep thoughts.

"You bearing up okay?"

"I think so." Marinette took a deep breath again, finally beginning to feel herself calming down slightly now that she was among her friends.

She did definitely feel more at ease being away from the huge crowds. She was still uncomfortable and would much rather be elsewhere, but this was somewhat more tolerable, and as long as she could stay over here, then she was sure that she would be fine for most of the night. No doubt everyone else would want to go off and have fun, but Alya had promised to stay with her.

"Ugh, what are you doing here?" a familiar snooty voice demanded from behind her.

Marinette's stomach sank, and she turned around to see none other than Chloé Bourgeois standing behind her with her hands on her hips as she gave Marinette an impatient and judgemental look. Sabrina mirrored her pose from behind, causing Marinette to roll her eyes. She really couldn't be bothered to deal with these two tonight.

Chloé couldn't have looked more desperate if she had tried. Her dark red dress – if you could call it that – was incredibly revealing and barely covered everything important. However, Marinette couldn't help but glare at the bee miraculous which was proudly displayed in her blonde hair. The sight of a miraculous stabbed at Marinette's heart, and she quickly averted her eyes as Chloé caught her staring.

"What are you looking at?" Chloé snapped.

"Nothing," Marinette quickly replied.

"Look Sabrina, she's behaving like even more of a freak than usual," Chloé sniggered, and Sabrina laughed mockingly behind her, following her every lead.

"Shut up, Chloé," Alya quickly defended her.

But Chloé ignored her.

"And just _what_ are you wearing, Dupain-Cheng? Your depressing look could even rival Juleka's. Whose funeral are you supposed to be attending?" Chloé continued to mock.

"Are you really in a position to mock anyone's outfit? You look like a prostitute from the wild west," Alya sneered.

Marinette rolled her eyes, though couldn't help but smirk at Alya's retort. That was kind of what Chloé looked like. However, she really didn't want to be standing around and arguing about whose outfit looked worse. She wasn't in the mood for childish fights like that. She just wanted to sit down somewhere and get tonight over and done with. Hopefully she could maybe even catch up with some of her old friends for once. It felt like it had been forever since she had last had a proper conversation with the other people in her class, and Marinette began to feel incredibly guilty over it. This was their last year together, and Marinette was wasting it by wallowing in her own self-pity all the time.

Chloé gasped in offense, her blue eyes beginning to burn in anger. "That's rich coming from you. Are you hoping to attract a guy's attention tonight? Because I'm sure they'll get just as sick of all of your crazy ranting and raving about Ladybug as Nino did."

Alya growled like some sort of wild animal, her face turning red as she prepared to launch herself at Chloé who laughed disparagingly. Marinette gasped and quickly grabbed hold of Alya before she could do anything that they would all regret, becoming very conscious of one of the bouncers on the far side of the room watching the scene carefully.

"Just ignore her, Alya," Marinette pleaded, "she's trying to get a rise out of you; don't give her what she wants."

Alya huffed, yanking her arm out of Marinette's grip while still glaring at Chloé who had pulled Sabrina away and back onto the dancefloor before they disappeared into the crowd. Marinette let out a sigh of relief as soon as they vanished from view, glad that they didn't stick around to torment them any longer. They were definitely two people who hadn't really changed much over these past few years.

However, Alya still looked pretty mad, so Marinette grabbed hold of her again and gently pulled her towards an empty table, hoping to calm her down. Most of her other friends appeared to have now scattered, either heading to the bar or making their way onto the dancefloor. Marinette and Alya sat down as Alya took a deep breath and Marinette twiddled with her fingers, hoping to distract herself from the sight of the huge crowd that wasn't that far from her.

The music changed, growing even louder and fast paced, making Marinette feel even more anxious. Her palms became sweaty, and she tried to rub them against her dress, all the while continuing to try and take deep breaths to keep herself as calm as possible. The urge to flee was almost impossible to ignore. She had a huge sinking feeling, and the air in the room felt incredibly thick and heavy.

"Sooooooo," Alya said, already starting to sound slightly bored, "do you want anything to drink?"

Marinette shrugged. "I dunno, just some juice I guess."

Alya rolled her eyes. "Are you sure I can't tempt you to a cocktail or something? I thought we were supposed to be having fun tonight?"

"You can have fun without alcohol, Alya," Marinette sighed out.

She really didn't want to risk getting drunk. If that happened, she might accidentally reveal something, or she might get herself into a really dangerous and serious situation. Who knew what she would be like if she got drunk. It just wasn't worth the risk. Though she knew that no doubt Alya would try a few times to maybe get her to try drink at least some alcohol that night. Marinette had been mentally preparing herself for this moment ever since Alya announced that she wanted to drown her sorrows tonight. It looked like Marinette was going to have to keep an eye on Alya just as much Marinette had wanted Alya to keep an eye on her.

"It's a party, Marinette, live a little," Alya tried to coax her.

"I said no," Marinette insisted firmly.

"Alright then." Alya held up her hands in defeat. "I'll go and get you an orange juice then. Are you going to be alright waiting here while I go get them?"

Marinette bit her lip and nodded. At least they would be able to see each other. There was definitely no way that Marinette wanted to go anywhere near the bar, especially with all the huge scary looking men that were surrounding it. The last thing she wanted was for a random stranger to strike up a conversation with her. So she guessed she would just have to deal with sitting on her own here for a few minutes.

"I'll be right back," Alya reassured her, grabbing her purse and taking it with her as she walked over to the bar, seeming eager in striking up conversations with the guys that were over there.

Marinette watched as Alya focused on two men in particular. They looked a little bit older than she and Alya were, maybe in their early to mid-twenties. Sighing in annoyance, Marinette guessed she would just have to accept that Alya had forgotten all about the drinks at the moment. She kept her eyes locked onto her best friend as she continued to flirt, the two men seemingly lapping it all up. One of them had brown hair and dark eyes, while the other had black hair and piercing blue eyes. It looked like the two of them were best friends, both of them laughing at whatever it was Alya was talking about as she leaned against the bar.

It looked like Alya really was serious about trying to forget Nino tonight. That thought greatly saddened her, and it almost made the scene painful to watch. She knew that Alya was just putting on a front. There was no way that her best friend had just stopped caring about Nino as if a switch had just been flicked insider her brain. Marinette knew that she still cared and that she was just acting out because she was hurt. She just hoped that this didn't result in making things worse.

However, Marinette's cheeks quickly heated up when Alya pointed towards her, the two guys following her finger to stare directly at her with smiles on their faces. Marinette quickly looked away in embarrassment, wondering what the hell Alya was playing at. Why was she drawing attention to her? Alya knew that Marinette would be super uncomfortable having any part in this.

She risked a glance back up at them from the corner of her eyes, and saw that the brown haired man had gone back to joking and laughing with Alya, while the black haired man was still staring at Marinette with a small smile on his face. He looked nice and normal enough, and nothing about him screamed that he was a serial killer. He was actually quite handsome. His sky blue eyes seemed to pierce her very soul, he was tall and well-built, had a hint of stubble on his chin, and was wearing a white shirt with black skinny jeans.

Damn it, was Alya trying to set her up or something? She was so going to kill her best friend later on. This night was quickly turning into the very nightmare that Marinette had been dreading. Why couldn't things just go her way for once?

Finally, the guy turned away and stopped looking at her, instead talking and laughing with Alya once again as Marinette watched her _finally_ order their drinks. She relaxed back in her seat slightly when she saw this, hoping that Alya would leave those two guys alone once she had their drinks. Though even if she did bring them over with her, hopefully they would quickly get bored and leave when they saw that Marinette wasn't interested.

While waiting for Alya, Marinette allowed her eyes to wander further around the club, and that's when she spotted Nino standing by the table Kim had just been opening presents at, his eyes narrowed, and a hurt look on his face as he watched Alya. Marinette's heart dropped at the sight.

 _Oh no, this was so very very very bad._

Honestly, Marinette had thought Nino wasn't coming to the party since she hadn't seen any sign of him yet. Now he was standing there and watching as Alya flirted with other men. Ugh, why did this situation have to be such a mess?! There had to be something that Marinette could do to save their relationship. She had helped them get together in the first place, surely she could find a way to help bring them back together?

 _Come on, think Marinette, think!_

Taking a deep breath, Marinette stood up and headed over towards Nino while Alya was still occupied at the bar. Nino was concentrating so much on watching Alya, that he hadn't noticed Marinette approaching him. He jumped slightly when Marinette placed a hand on his shoulder. She hadn't seen him since before him and Alya split up, so she had no idea how Nino had taken things. She just hoped that she didn't say all the wrong things.

"Hey, Nino, sorry for startling you," Marinette greeted timidly.

Nino blinked down at her in shock. "Oh, hey, Marinette. I had no idea that you were coming to the party. It's great to see you, dude."

Marinette chuckled awkwardly. "Errr, yeah, you too."

Nino's eyes then seemed to stray back to Alya against their will.

"She doesn't mean it, y'know," Marinette quickly defended her best friend. "She's just hurting. I know she's not really interested in those guys. She cares about you, I know she does."

"Does she?" Nino grunted in response. "Because that's not the vibe that I'm getting right now."

Marinette sighed. "You know what Alya is like. When she's upset and angry, she lashes out."

"I certainly know that all too well," Nino growled out. "If…if you knew some of the things she said…some of the things she'd done…"

Marinette cringed. She knew. She wished that she didn't, but she did. Little did Nino know that Chat Noir had explained everything to her. She knew what Alya had done while as Rena Rouge. She knew how obsessed Alya was becoming with finding out the truth of what had happened to Ladybug. But there just had to be a way that both Alya and Nino could work through it and come out much stronger than they had been before.

"But you still love her…" Marinette trailed off.

Nino's angry expression melted away and his shoulders lowered. His entire form looked defeated as his eyes drifted down to the floor before looking back up at Alya again. Pain consumed his expression, and Marinette didn't think she had ever seen a more longing look on someone's face. It was this that made Marinette instantly know that she was right. Nino and Alya were meant to be, that much had always been obvious to her since they started dating. Nobody clicked more than they did.

"I do," Nino finally admitted in a low whisper.

"So go and talk to her." Marinette gently nudged him.

"Will she even listen though?"

"I think you _both_ need to listen to each other. I'm sure you can sort this out maturely. You still love each other, and that's what's most important," Marinette encouraged.

"She still loves me?" Nino's eyes widened.

"I know she does."

Nino looked down again, seeming lost in thought before he looked back up in determination. He stood up straighter before smiling down at Marinette.

"Thanks, Marinette," he said before slowly walking towards where Alya was just being served the drinks she had ordered.

Marinette kept her eyes locked on them as she sat back down in the booth. Nino looked increasingly nervous as he approached, and Alya still hadn't noticed him, or if she had, then she was making a very good attempt at ignoring him. She picked up her cocktail as well as Marinette's orange juice, still talking to the same two guys from before. Nino stood awkwardly behind them, saying something that Marinette was too far away to hear.

Alya jumped slightly and turned around to look at him, a frown instantly forming on her face. Marinette held her breath and crossed her fingers under the table as she continued to watch them. It looked like things were getting increasingly heated between them before Alya flicked her hair and stormed off back towards Marinette, the two guys following her and giving Nino a warning glare as they passed him. Nino slumped in defeat again, watching Alya retreat with a miserable expression on his face.

Alya finally arrived back, placing Marinette's drink down in front of her as she resisted the urge to facepalm. Why must her best friend be so stubborn? She sat down next to Marinette while the two guys sat opposite them, and Marinette stared at them awkwardly before looking back at Alya in confusion and horror. She could feel the men's eyes on her, and it made her feel extremely uncomfortable. Why on earth did Alya have to bring them back with her?!

"Oh yeah, Marinette, this is Paul," Alya introduced as she pointed to the brown haired boy, "and this is Léon." She then pointed to the black haired boy. "Guys, this is Marinette."

"Hey," the two guys said at the same time.

Marinette shrank back in seat, trying to make herself as small as possible. "H-hey."

Alya began slurping her drink, downing it as quickly as possible, which caused both Paul and Léon to cheer her on. Marinette simply watched with wide eyes as Alya remained unflinching, glaring down into her drink, her hand shaking as she clutched onto the glass as tightly as possible.

"S-so, what did Nino want?" Marinette asked, trying to play dumb.

Alya finished her drink off, finally gasping for air. "Just the usual begging and pleading."

"And?"

"And what?" Alya demanded, growing impatient. "There's no way I want anything to do with him again."

"So, that means you're single?" Paul asked.

"Maybe not if you play your cards right." Alya winked at him.

"Alya!" Marinette shrieked.

"What? I'm entitled to have a little fun."

Paul chuckled and winked back, which caused all three of them to laugh. Marinette slouched down even further in defeat. It looked like her plan had completely backfired. If anything she just seemed to have made Alya even more determined to forget about Nino and move on. Maybe she should have just stayed out of it. But she hated to see her two closest friends hurting so much. No matter what Alya said, Marinette still knew that she cared deeply about Nino. She was just stressed and highly-strung at the moment, and they were both going through a rough patch. But maybe Marinette _should_ just stop interfering and let them sort things out for themselves. If they still loved each other, then hopefully maybe they would find a way. Maybe Alya needed tonight to make her realise just how much she still loved Nino.

"So, have Alya and that other guy been dating for a while?" Léon asked Marinette, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, a very long time. They were very close," Marinette responded, hoping that it might put the two of them off making a move on her.

Léon merely smiled and leaned forward, his hands straying uncomfortably close to Marinette's on the table. Marinette saw this and quickly moved her hands back under the table, hating the idea of being so close to someone. Léon's eyes flashed as he stared at Marinette, and she was unable to look him in the eye for long, quickly losing her nerve and going back to cowering in her seat, wishing that those two guys would just leave them alone. But Alya seemed to be happily talking away to Paul, the two of them flirting as they held hands and whispered to each other occasionally.

Marinette looked away in disgust and annoyance, turning so that her side was leaning against the back of the couch before folding her arms across her chest.

"It all seemed very one sided to me, especially with the way he was begging like some desperate loser," Léon continued.

"Hey, Nino is not a loser!" Marinette quickly yelled in defence of her friend.

Léon laughed as he held up his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay, I had no idea that you had a bit of a thing for him as well."

"I do not!" Marinette growled, which only seemed to intrigue and entice Léon even more.

"You sure do get riled up easily," he noted.

Marinette turned bright red before growling again and turning away.

"Look, I know she's a bit…different…but give her a chance," Marinette heard Alya whisper to Léon.

So this _was_ some sort of set up. Marinette really couldn't believe Alya right now. First she ignored Nino before openly flirting with other guys in front of him, and now she was trying to set her up with some guy that she had only just met. Alya knew that Marinette was far from interested in this sort of thing. But Marinette had given up kicking off and making a fuss right now. This Léon guy could try it on with her as much as he liked, but that didn't mean he was going to get anywhere. Marinette just hoped that her plan from before would work: that they'd get bored and leave.

"Can I get you another a drink?"

The familiar voice caused Marinette to look up again, growing nervous yet hopeful to see Nino standing there and looking down at Alya. Thank goodness that he hadn't given up.

"I'm very particular about who I drink with, thank you," Alya snapped, not even looking up at him.

"Come on Alya, please, we need to talk," Nino begged.

"As far as I'm concerned we've said everything that needs to be said," Alya growled out her response.

"You heard her," Paul threatened.

"Alya, please," Nino continued to plead, ignoring Paul and his threats.

"Just leave me alone!" Alya yelled, startling Marinette.

Nino flinched back in shock before he glared at her. "Fine then. I hope you enjoy life with your new boyfriend here. Let's see how long he can put up with your crazy ramblings!"

Alya gasped before grabbing hold of Paul's drink and throwing its contents all over Nino. Nino froze in shock, looking slightly guilty over what he had just said, but still also looking incredibly angry. His eyes narrowed as he tried to brush some of the liquid off himself while Alya huffed and turned away, muttering to herself under her breath.

"Thanks a lot, Marinette," Nino snapped, suddenly turning on her. "So much for Alya still loving me."

Marinette froze as Nino stormed off. Alya's head slowly rose to look at Marinette with a fiery expression on her face. Marinette's mouth opened and closed as she tried to find some way to de-escalate the tension, but she couldn't come up with anything. No matter what she did, she only kept seeming to make things worse.

" _You_ told him to come and talk to me?" Alya gasped out in betrayal.

"I…I was just trying to help," Marinette stuttered.

"Well I never asked for your help okay?" Alya cried out, standing up to tower over Marinette who shrunk back in fear. "You just had to go and interfere, didn't you? You always have to meddle in everyone else's affairs despite not even being able to sort your own life out."

Marinette flinched back like she had just been slapped across the face. She knew that Alya was just angry. Tipsy and angry, but that still didn't make her words hurt any less. What made the blow even more painful was that it was the truth. Her own life was a mess yet she always insisted on trying to interfere with other people and their lives. Maybe Marinette should just give up trying. She knew tonight was going to be a disaster, and it looked like it was turning out far worse than previously imagined.

"Ugh, just forget it," Alya continued, still sounding riled up. "I came here to have fun. I owe you another drink, Paul. Then you can show me those moves that you promised."

Alya began to lead Paul away.

Marinette squealed, reaching out to grab Alya in panic.

"Where are you going?!"

"To actually go have some fun," Alya responded.

"But…you said…"

"Oh grow up, Marinette," Alya sighed out. "Do you really think I want to babysit you after what you just did? I thought you were supposed to be my friend? I guess I was wrong."

Alya snatched her wrist out of Marinette's grasp who was too frozen in shock to respond. She quickly disappeared into the crowd, leaving Marinette all alone.

Marinette collapsed back into her seat again, her eyes wide with fear and her heart thumping loudly in her chest. The loud music and heavy beat continued to vibrate her entire body, making her trembling even worse. What was she going to do? Should she go and find one of her other friends? She was sure that maybe Rose and Juleka wouldn't mind her hanging around them. But of course there was the issue of working up the courage to actually get up and go find them.

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to regain some semblance of control over her body again. The music morphed into a more acid trance style, making her thoughts even more dizzying and swirling. She needed to try and calm down though. She had shown her face at the party for long enough now. Perhaps she could ask one of the bouncers to escort her out and wait with her while she called for a taxi.

"Yikes, it's never really a good idea to meddle in a friend's love life," a voice and a low chuckle snapped Marinette out of her escape plans.

She had almost totally forgotten about Léon. He was still sat opposite her, casually sipping on his drink as he watched people on the dancefloor. Marinette was glad that at least somebody was finding the situation amusing. What was he even still doing here? She wished that he would just leave, but at the same time, she didn't want to be overly impolite and cause any more of a scene than she already had done. She had experienced enough tension tonight. She just wanted to go home.

"I'm sure she'll come around though," Léon comforted.

"I'm not so sure," Marinette mumbled, shocked that he actually sounded willing to help her.

"She just obviously has a lot of steam that she needs to get out of her system," Léon explained. "Paul was the same when he broke up with his ex. They're both on the rebound at the moment, but they'll soon come to their senses."

"You really think so?" Marinette asked.

Léon smiled and nodded. "I take it you've never been in a proper relationship before?"

Marinette didn't answer, not liking the personal question. Instead, she began sipping at her orange juice, using it to distract herself from the awkwardness of the situation. Any other guy probably would have left by now, but Léon seemed frustratingly determined. It was annoying, but he seemed harmless enough. He did seem pretty down to earth and reasonable.

"Are you normally this shy?" Léon continued to press.

"Sorry, I just don't normally come to places like this," Marinette responded quietly.

"I figured," Léon nodded his head in understanding. "It can all be a bit overwhelming, can't it?"

Marinette slowly nodded, placing her drink back down.

"Why don't we go dance and I can help you take your mind off things?" Léon asked innocently.

"Ummm, no thank you," Marinette replied awkwardly. "You're right, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, so I'm just going to use the restroom."

She quickly got up and followed the signs to the bathroom. Being away from the music and heat of the room allowed her to instantly calm down somewhat. The bathroom was a little too crowded for her liking, but at least she was away from the huge crowd of the club. She immediately leaned against the edge of one of the sinks, staring at her reflection in the mirror. The cool porcelain of the sink felt amazing against the palms of her hand, and it was such a relief to be somewhere much quieter.

So far she wasn't exactly doing a good job of escaping. But her thoughts quickly drifted to Alya. She didn't want to just ditch her, no matter how angry her best friend was at her. She couldn't just leave her here with a strange guy. With the state that Alya was in, anything could happen. Maybe Marinette would just have to toughen it out and stay to make sure that Alya was okay. Marinette wasn't sure she could live with herself if anything happened to her.

With her mind made up, Marinette took a deep breath and headed back into the club, trying to put on a confident façade as she strode back towards where she had been sitting. She could do this. She could stay. She was doing it for Alya. And as she walked back to her seat, Marinette did her best to try and keep an eye out for her best friend. She could just about see her through the crowd, dancing clumsily with Paul, the two of them clearly getting more intoxicated.

That's when Marinette looked back up again as she got back to her seat, only to see that Léon was still there. Didn't he have anything else better to do? But Marinette guessed that she could do with the company, especially since it looked like she was in for a long night of sitting there and keeping an eye on Alya. Since it seemed like Léon was used to this kind of scene, maybe he could spot dangers that Marinette couldn't. He seemed nice enough, so maybe he would be willing to help her out.

Sighing, Marinette sat back down, messing with the rim of her glass as her eyes kept worriedly flickering back towards Alya. She felt like some sort of over-protective mother right now, but Marinette was going to make sure that she looked after her friend, no matter how mad at her she was. It didn't mean that she deserved anything bad happening to her, and the rest of her classmates seemed too distracted to keep an eye on her or even notice that something was wrong in the first place.

"Feeling better?" Léon asked.

Marinette looked back up at him. "A little. I just want to make sure that nothing bad happens to Alya."

Léon nodded in understanding. "Yeah, there can be some pretty unsavoury characters in places like these. Luckily I can reassure you that Paul isn't one of them. He doesn't have enough brain cells to do something bad."

Marinette found herself chuckling slightly at that remark. "You shouldn't really say something like that about your friend."

Léon simply smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "It got a laugh out of you though, didn't it?"

Marinette smiled awkwardly and looked back down.

"Do you mind if I give you a friendly piece of advice, Marinette?"

Marinette looked back up in confusion.

"Sometimes you just need to not worry about other people and relax."

"How can I relax when my best friend hates me and is having some sort of emotional meltdown?" Marinette asked bitterly, staring back down sadly.

"Don't worry, I'm sure that I can help you with that. I'm studying to be a doctor, and I'm here to prescribe you with a good time." Léon's smirk widened.

"Right," Marinette replied, not really knowing how else to respond to such a weird and cheesy remark.

They both fell silent again as Marinette picked up her drink again and took a sip, noticing a strange bitter edge to her orange juice this time. It was probably a result of the smoke machine or something. But still, the heat of the room and her unwillingness to take her jacket off made Marinette extremely thirsty, and she soon downed the rest of her drink before going back to watching Alya.

Léon remained silent, shifting in his seat slightly, though Marinette barely paid him any attention. She kept losing sight of Alya in the crowd which made her worry before she would luckily spot her again. She could just about see Juleka and Rose dancing together as well, which made Marinette feel even more comfortable knowing that there were people in the crowd who would also be able to see Alya in case anything went wrong. In fact, she was growing so comfortable and content that she found herself relaxing into her seat, almost completely slouching as she began to smile uncontrollably.

Waves of unimaginable pleasure began to course through her veins, and Marinette couldn't help but spread herself out, a fog clouding her brain as it felt like she was beginning to lose control of her body. But this time, Marinette _wanted_ to lose control. She wanted to give herself into this feeling. Her whole body tingled, and she felt as high as a kite. She didn't think that she had ever felt a happiness and giddiness like this before.

Léon was right, she should stop worrying about other people and just focus on having a good time. This was Marinette's first time at a club, and she should be enjoying herself. It _was_ a party after all. That's if she could even bring herself to stand up. She giggled as she lay sprawled out on the couch, basking in this new amazing feeling. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this happy, and she was going to get drunk on it.

The lights flashed above her, and Marinette giggled again as a rainbow of colour assaulted her vision. Maybe she _was_ inside a rainbow. That would be the coolest thing ever. Marinette had always wanted to go inside a rainbow. Now it looked like her dream was coming true.

"Pretty colours!" Marinette yelled excitedly as she pointed up at the lights.

She tried to grab each colour as it floated through the air. In the end, she gave up and sat up slightly, resting her back against the back of the couch again, but still slouching, unable to completely pull herself up. Her eyes were hooded, and a feeling of absolute ecstasy continued to be pumped around her body. Marinette could literally feel it in every cell in her body, and she felt like she could float into the air and fly high above everyone in the room.

They would be so jealous of her ability to fly. Maybe Marinette should just jump on top of the table right now and fly right out of there and into the sky. But that required effort, and all Marinette wanted to do was wallow around in the ocean of pleasure that surrounded her. A sensation between her legs caused her to clench her thighs shut, an involuntary moan escaping past her lips, and she closed her eyes as wave after wave of the most heavenly sensation washed over her. It burned deep in her core, baking Marinette in its heat and causing her throat to constrict as she gasped.

The pressure between her legs disappeared, only to be replaced with a pressure on her lips that Marinette embraced. It only heightened the immense bliss she was feeling, before she pulled away, wanting nothing more than just get up and dance for joy, releasing the vast amount of pent up energy that had now built up inside her.

Léon smirked down at her as his face hovered close to hers, and Marinette smiled as she grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him towards the dancefloor. The loud music consumed her, and Marinette jumped and danced around, enjoying the free feeling, a sensation that made her feel like she was floating through the air. The world around her felt like it was moving too slow as she flew around the dancefloor, her body growing hotter and hotter as her throat dried out.

She could feel large arms wrapped around her, swaying them both from side to side as something hard pressed against her back. Marinette could barely react to anything that was going on though. All she could do was lean her head against the chest of the person behind her, her mind full of heavenly clouds that made her dizzy. The vibration of the music sent pleasurable shivers throughout her body, and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest as her stomach did delighted somersaults.

The bright flashing lights continued to hypnotize her, and everything seemed to become one huge blur as she could feel herself being semi carried away in someone's arms. Maybe she was being taken on some sort of magical adventure? That would be a lot of fun. It must be on the other side of the rainbow. Maybe it was the pretty clouds that were carrying her away. Then she would hopefully arrive in some far off land and meet magical creatures that lived inside jewellery and granted people special powers.

Before Marinette knew it, the fresh air was hitting her face, and the dark Parisian night almost made Marinette panic, thinking that she had gone blind. All the while, she continued to be carried down the quiet back streets. Her mind struggled to process what was going on as random visions danced across her eyes. Her whole body felt limp and useless, and she still felt incredibly hot despite the cold air of the night.

She finally managed to bring herself to look up, barely able to make out Léon's face above her. Why was he carrying her? Why had he left the club with her? This couldn't be right. She was supposed to be on a magical adventure right now. She didn't want Léon with her. She barely knew him.

"What…what…are you…doing?" Marinette barely managed to slur out.

"I thought this was what you wanted?" Léon purred.

"Huh?"

Marinette was vaguely aware that she was now standing alone in some deserted area that was surrounded by trees and bushes. Léon remained standing uncomfortably close, pressing himself against her, and she could smell the alcohol on his breath as it hit her face. At this, Marinette developed a bad feeling in her gut, but her mind refused to process exactly what it was. Colourful shapes continued to dance across her vision as she felt Léon roughly grab hold of her.

"N-no…" Marinette slurred again.

Léon ignored her, and she cringed in disgust as she could feel him kissing down her neck, grabbing hold of her waist tightly, all the while Marinette's mind began to drown in paranoia and confusion. What was going on? Whatever it was, Marinette didn't like it and she wanted it to stop. She wanted to be back in the club having a good time, not standing out here with nobody else around. That wasn't exactly a party.

"Come on," Léon mumbled against her skin, "just relax."

"N-no," Marinette tried to yell again, but it only came out as a tiny squeak.

Gathering up some ounce of strength, Marinette pushed him away, gasping for air. She attempted to run, however, her legs soon collapsed beneath her, causing her to burst out laughing. But she was soon incredibly uncomfortable and scared again as soon as she felt someone climbing on top of her.

"CHAT!" Marinette ended up screaming, knowing that something was very very wrong, but barely having the energy or understanding to get herself out of there.

She screamed again as she felt Léon trying to pull on her jacket, but Marinette clung on, crying as confusion and panic completely engulfed her. He was trying to kill her. He had lured her out here and was trying to kill her. Maybe everyone had been in on it and that's why no one had helped her. This whole party had been one huge plot to kill her!

"CHAT!" Marinette screamed as loud as she could again.

All of a sudden, Léon froze, and Marinette dared herself to open her eyes to look up and see what was going on. She followed Léon's line of sight, and gasped in fear at the sight of a shadowy dark figure running directly towards them.

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 **This chapter was so hard to write for obvious reasons. But I hope that it was still an interesting read for you guys, and as always, please feel free to let me know your thoughts in a review. I hope that I didn't upset anyone, but there are multiple warnings throughout the story that it contains dark themes. Also, let this chapter be a lesson to everyone. Don't be an asshole and spike people's drinks. Also don't try and sexually assault people. Make sure to keep an eye on your drinks in public places as unfortunately, these monsters do exist.**

 **So what's going to happen next, guys? Let me know your theories and then you'll find out if you're right next Friday. I hope you guys have a great week and I'll hopefully see you all there.**


	32. Crimson Disfigurement

**Hi again! I'm so happy to finally be writing a chapter that I've been excited to write for the past year. This was the very first chapter that I came up with when the idea was originally planted in my head. Thank you guys so much for your reviews on the previous chapter. I'm glad that many of you thought that I'd handled the issue appropriately, and I'm so sorry to those who have been through similar experiences. You're all so strong and amazing.**

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 **Chapter 32: Crimson Disfigurement**

The glowing white light of the moon was just barely visible through a thin layers of cloud that hovered above the city. The whole neighbourhood was quiet with no soul in sight. It almost felt peaceful, but he knew that there was no way this night was going to anything but. A light breeze brushed against his body, something that he hadn't felt against his bare hands in a long time. It almost felt foreign now. He had forgotten how it had felt. It was if the air itself was trying to hold his hold and ease him outside.

Adrien closed his eyes, trying to imagine that the feeling was Marinette's hand in his. He had made a promise to her, and he was going to keep that promise. He had finally decided to venture outside. He had waited for everything to quieten down and for it to be late enough that no one would be out and about in his neighbourhood. Just a quick walk around the block and that was going to be it. Then Adrien could retreat back into the safety of his house where no one could see him.

At least that's what he kept telling himself anyway. It was the only thought that had managed to urge him towards the front door. Now, he was stood on the threshold, frozen in place with an invisible barrier in front of him, preventing him from going any further. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and run back inside. He wasn't ready for this. He shouldn't be doing this. What if someone saw him?

He had promised her.

Keeping his eyes tightly closed, Adrien's whole body tensed up as he took that first step beyond the front door of his mansion. The floor was hard beneath his shoe, and Adrien's heartrate immediately began thumping out of control, pumping fear throughout his entire body. He felt cold, and the tips of his fingers began to tingle while his throat constricted.

The impulse to run back inside became so overpowering, that it was taking every last ounce of Adrien's willpower not to listen to it. It pressed down on his body, causing his knees to wobble and his head to spin with the strain. All the while, he kept squeezing his eyes shut, determined not to look. He knew that if he looked, he would panic and give into the overwhelming temptation to dash back inside and never do something like this again. He was terrified that he might see someone watching him. He was terrified that it would be all over the news and that his father might see it.

Marinette's comforting voice suddenly filled his head, washing a wave of calm over him, and he smiled softly despite his situation. He would do this for her.

Imagining her hand in his again, Adrien took another step outside, and then another and another. He felt himself reach the top of the stairs that led down to the main path towards his gate. His eyes were still closed, but he knew that he would have to open them if he hoped to go further and face his fear. If Marinette could face her fears and go out with friends tonight, then Adrien could take a quick walk outside.

Using her bravery as inspiration, Adrien slowly opened his eyes, fear still coursing through his veins. He had done it. He had made it outside his front door. Nothing bad had happened. Now he just needed to push himself a little bit further. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but he kept imagining Marinette standing next to him, holding his hand and encouraging him forward.

If only she could be here with him. But Adrien knew that if Marinette ever found out his true identity, then she would figure everything out and run miles away from him. And Adrien wanted to selfishly keep her in his life. Marinette was his everything now. He was greedy, and he needed her. She was the only person who could soothe the burning rage inside him. She was the only person who could make him almost forget everything that happened, because when they were together, it was like they were in their own little slice of reality, far removed from everyone else and all of the pain they had experienced.

But unfortunately she wasn't here right now. This was something that Adrien had to do on his own.

Taking a deep breath, his took another step forward, down onto the first step, making sure that he kept his eyes open and continued to fight off the overpowering urge to run back inside. He had made it this far, so he might as well keep going. He had to do this. It was for Marinette.

Adrien was a little unsteady as he made his way down the stone steps, his knees still shaking in fear as his body remained on high alert. He kept expecting a huge mob of angry people to jump him at any moment. The thought of transforming into Chat Noir was incredibly tempting, but Adrien forced it back. Plagg was snoozing in his pocket right now, having been unusually quiet during these past couple of days and sleeping a lot more than usual.

Before Adrien knew it, he was stood directly in front of his gate. The metal bars were now the only object separating him from the rest of the outside world. This was his last defence. His last promise of safety. Beyond this gate was the unknown. A world that Adrien had long since forbidden himself from. Now he was going to journey back into it without his superhero costume to hide his identity.

Slowly opening the gate, Adrien could feel a terrified lump forming in his throat. He knew that this would be the hardest part. Venturing out into his garden wasn't as much of a big deal as this. He was now heading out into the city where anybody could recognise him. Adrien had prepared as best as he could, pulling his dark hood over his head and covering as much of his face as possible. He had managed to get away with it when he had rescued Marinette and taken her to the hospital. Maybe this trick would work again. Adrien certainly hoped so.

The temperature of the night air was cooling down, and Adrien began to see the wispy clouds of smoke that was his breath. The silence of the night was eerie, yet at the same time it also felt quite peaceful. Adrien had certainly always loved it as Chat Noir, and it always helped him clear his mind a little bit, or at least push aside the haunting thoughts and memories for a few hours.

His footsteps echoed slightly down the deserted street as Adrien kept his head down and his hands in his pockets. He could hear his heart beat in his ears, fear and adrenalin kept every cell in his body on high alert, and Adrien still felt like that at any moment he would be discovered. His breathing became more laboured as he continued to panic, and he was easily startled by any sudden noise. The sound of a car horn in the distance, the sound of a clattering down a narrow street before a cat loudly hissed and meowed, and the sound of the wind rustling the leaves all had him nearly running back home in fear.

But he pressed onwards, determined to make Marinette proud.

Eventually, Adrien found himself at a crossroad. The sidewalk ahead of him came to an abrupt end, and the road split into three separate routes ahead of him. Adrien glanced down the dark streets, biting his lip as he tried to decide which way to go. The streetlight above him flickered slightly, spooking him once again, and making him more desperate to come to a decision.

Adrien's first thought was to turn left. That road would take him directly back around to his house. He had only planned to walk around the block after all. He didn't want to push himself too much, too soon. Angling his feet in that direction, Adrien still couldn't bring himself to move though. His eyes kept darting to the right, as if he was being drawn in that direction.

He knew that road didn't lead to anywhere special though. Just a small park that separated the affluent neighbourhood from an area full of shops, nightclubs and other businesses. There was no way Adrien was going near that area, but a short walk in the park certainly wouldn't hurt. It would be completely empty at this time of night, meaning that Adrien was far less likely to bump into another human like he would if he kept walking around the streets. There was also a path that lead from the back of the park all the way back home, so that made the choice even more ideal.

So Adrien decided to follow his instinct. The elastic that he felt like was pulling him in that direction loosened slightly the further he walked down the street on the right. Everything grew darker as he walked closer to the park as trees began to block out the light of the fancy looking lamps. Though it sent a chill up his spine, Adrien reminded himself that he was the most dangerous person in the city, and that the darkness would hide him better.

Feeling more reassured and confident now, Adrien headed through the gate and onto the stone path of the park. It was incredibly eerie and quiet, and Adrien was starting to get a feeling of dread deep within his gut. Something felt wrong. But he just couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. He didn't feel like he was in any danger, but whatever the feeling was, it was beginning to make him panic again.

"CHAT!"

A scream from deep in the night startled him.

Adrien instantly froze in place, a cold chill running down his spine. Someone was calling his name? Was he hearing things? He could have sworn that it almost sounded like Marinette's voice.

"CHAT!"

Now Adrien definitely knew that he wasn't hearing things. There was no doubting now that Marinette was calling for him. She was in trouble…she was in danger…

Without a second thought, Adrien took off in the direction he had heard her voice crying out for him. Pure panic and anger took complete control of his body. He sprinted faster than he ever had before. His heart squeezed in his chest at the thought of something happening to his princess. If someone had hurt her, he was going to make them pay!

Bursting through some bushes, Adrien froze at the sight that he was met with.

Marinette was being pinned against the ground by some man that Adrien didn't recognise. He looked slightly older than him, and he looked startled to see Adrien now standing there and watching them. Adrien supposed that to the man, he must have looked like some terrifying shadowy creature right now. Good. Maybe he could play on that.

However, Adrien instantly became further enraged and disgusted at the sight of the man's hands frozen mid-way through trying to rip Marinette's jacket off her. Meanwhile, Marinette looked completely dazed and confused while also looking terror-stricken. Adrien could smell the alcohol from where he was stood, and he had no qualms with letting his murderous rage take control of his body.

"What. Are. You. Doing?!" Adrien growled out through clenched teeth.

The man looked like a deer caught in headlights as he quickly picked himself up off Marinette and jumped as far away as he possibly could, holding his hands up defensively.

"S-she was drunk…I was just helping her home…" the perverted scum managed to stutter out.

"By trying to rip her clothes off?!"

"No! It's not what it looks like!"

The creep barely had a chance to finish his sentence before Adrien punched him in the face. He took great satisfaction in hearing the man's jaw crack beneath his fist, and the pain in his knuckles was a pleasurable reward, knowing that he was rescuing Marinette right now. The man yelped in pain, blood spitting and dribbling out of his mouth as he did so. Adrien was sure that he had felt himself knock one of his teeth out. If the bastard thought that was bad, just wait until he saw what else Adrien had in store for him.

Adrien kept punching him in the face, not even giving him the chance to react or retaliate. He was too weak and pathetic anyway. Why else would he target a vulnerable drunk girl alone at night? That thought sent Adrien over the edge even more, and he was determined to make this useless waste of humanity pay for what he had done to his princess. He wasn't going to let anyone who hurt her live to tell the tale.

Pure bloodlust consumed him, and he took immense satisfaction in seeing the scumbag grow even weaker and dazed as Adrien continued his attack. His face was completely covered in blood, as well as Adrien's hands, but the warmth felt good against his skin on the cold night.

However, Adrien suddenly froze when he heard the sound of whimpering nearby, and he looked to the right to see that Marinette was struggling to get up off the ground, stumbling and falling forward as she did so. That one second was all that the scumbag needed to escape. He kicked Adrien off him before running away, and Adrien would have loved nothing more than to track him down as Chat Noir and finish off what he started, but Marinette needed him more.

He ran over to her, his anger once again being replaced by panic as he skidded to a stop next to her. She was still trying to push herself up off the ground, all of her limbs shaking as she struggled to remain stable. Adrien quickly wrapped his arms around her and helped her to her feet, keeping her locked in his embrace just in case she fell again.

"I…knew you would…come," Marinette slurred out breathlessly before she turned around and gasped.

Adrien froze again. In all of the chaos, he had forgotten that he was Adrien right now and not Chat Noir. There was no doubt that Marinette had seen his face and recognised him with them standing so close. Her eyes were wide, and her pupils were huge, making her eyes look almost completely black. Her face was drained of all colour, and she gasped again before she stumbled backwards out of Adrien's arms, falling over again.

"Marinette…" Adrien whispered, terrified of what her reaction would be to seeing him after all these years.

He didn't know if he could bear it if she rejected him as Adrien.

"A-Adrien?" Marinette stuttered out in confusion.

Adrien didn't say anything as he carefully analysed her reaction.

"I-is that…you?" She sounded surprised, but also kept looking around, seeming disoriented.

"Hi," Adrien said quietly, wanting to smack himself over that being the only thing he could think of to say to her.

Marinette frowned in confusion. "Is this a dream?"

Adrien took a few cautious steps towards her, sighing with relief when she didn't try to run or flinch away from him. She seemed to be fine with the fact that Adrien had just saved her. She didn't seem scared or disgusted by him. He could feel an immense amount of relief wash over him at that thought. He should have known and trusted that Marinette wouldn't feel that way about him. She was too good, pure and kind, especially now that she was starting to get better.

"Are you okay prin – Marinette?" Adrien asked, crouching down next to her.

Marinette chuckled. "I'm fine, that creep just scared me that's all."

Adrien frowned at her in confusion before watching as she abruptly stood up again, nearly losing her balance before Adrien darted up to catch her. Marinette laughed again, looking like she was completely crazy. Her eyes were distant, and it didn't even seem like she was registering what was going on properly. How much had she had to drink? Getting completely wasted didn't sound like Marinette. There was something really suspicious about the whole situation. Should he take Marinette to the hospital?

"Marinette, are you sure you're okay?" Adrien tried asking again, growing even more concerned.

"Huh – what?" Marinette looked around before her eyes settled on him again for a brief second. "My hero!" She wrapped her arms tightly around him.

Adrien grunted as she flung herself at him, still confused as to why she was acting so weird. She didn't exactly smell like alcohol. Had she just been drinking vodka or something? Had Alya forced her to drink? That seemed the most likely explanation. Alya probably forced Marinette into drinking and she had caved into the peer pressure. His annoyance and hatred for one of his former best friends just kept growing and growing.

"I'm taking you to the hospital, Marinette," Adrien growled out, getting ready to pick her up and carry her there just like he had done all those months ago when she got caught in the stampede.

"N-no!" Marinette begged. "Just…wanna…go…home." She went back to giggling to herself again.

Adrien sighed in defeat. Perhaps he _was_ being a bit too hasty in taking her to the hospital. Plus, he really didn't want to leave her alone after everything that had just happened. There was also the added risk of him being spotted and discovered on the journey there too. He was sure that two people covered in blood would certainly capture people's attention. The same situation would occur if he took her home as well.

Ugh, this would be so much easier if he was Chat Noir right now! Then he would have been able to easily carry her home. But if he transformed right now, Marinette would know his secret identity, and if he quickly went and hid, then it would still be obvious that it was him. He was stuck. Getting her back home was going to be near impossible.

Adrien then froze as the idea of taking Marinette back to his house formed. Could he? Could he do that? Would Marinette freak out? At the moment, it seemed to be the best and only option though. At least while there, he could keep an eye on her and make sure she was okay. Then he could explain everything to her in the morning. Right now, he really didn't want to let her out of his sight.

The decision was made, and Adrien wrapped his arms around Marinette, ready to head back home.

"Marinette, I'm going to be taking you home with me if that's okay?" Adrien explained to her, hoping that she wouldn't freak out and think that he was trying to take advantage of her.

"That's more than alright with me, hotstuff!" Marinette seemed really excited at the idea.

" _Hotstuff?_ " Adrien repeated in disbelief and confusion.

Where on earth had that come from? But despite his confusion, Adrien couldn't help but feel a little bit elated and smug at Marinette's words. So she thought that he was hot? That certainly didn't offend him one little bit. But at the same time, she was incredibly drunk right now, so her words could just be down to that.

In any case, he began leading her back home, practically carrying her as she hung onto his shoulder, dragging her feet along the ground. Her eyes still didn't seem to be seeing what was in front of her, and she was still acting incredibly loopy. She kept laughing to herself before immediately looking around at the slightest noise, becoming completely paranoid. Watching the switch between the two emotions was like watching a light flicker on and off. It was surreal and worrying to watch.

"Oh Adrien, I wish we had picked a better place for our first date," Marinette sighed out.

"It's alright, honey," Adrien half-played along, trying to keep her from panicking.

However, he still kept facing forward in determination and trudged onwards, desperate to get Marinette into the safety of his house. He couldn't believe that this had happened to her. It made him want to never let her out of his sight again. Marinette just seemed to be a magnet for trouble, not to mention the fact that her safety was often neglected by her friends. Adrien wondered if Nino had been at the party. Either way, Adrien knew that he was going to need Nino's help as his plan formed in his mind.

"Has anyone ever told you how much you look like Chat Noir?"

Adrien nearly tripped over at that comment.

"Wha…what makes you say that?" Adrien gasped out, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

Marinette giggled. "It was just sooooo weird how, like, I called for Chat, and then there you were. And you're both handsome and clever, and you have the same hair and eye colour. It's just really weird, right?"

"Right." Adrien gulped.

"But that would be impossible though!" Marinette burst out laughing. "Because if Adrien was Chat Noir, then I would know," she proudly boasted, "because I know _everything_ about Adrien."

Adrien shot her a weird look. It was probably just the drink talking. Though what she said did have him curious now. Nonetheless, he needed to get her home. They were very nearly there, and they just had to make it across the street without being spotted by anybody.

The night was still quiet and deserted. Adrien just hoped that Marinette wouldn't have any sudden outbursts while they were still outside. He quickly got them across the road before practically shoving his gate open, making sure to close it behind him. He continued to carry Marinette up to the front door, and it looked like she was now beginning to doze off against him.

"Ugh, it's too hot," Marinette moaned under her breath, tugging at the collar of her jacket.

"It's okay, we're nearly there," Adrien tried to reassure her, unlocking his door before dragging them both inside.

Adrien let out a huge sigh of relief as soon as he closed the front doors behind them. Safe. They were safe at last. He could take care of Marinette properly and make sure that she recovered from what had happened. Would she even remember any of it? Adrien wasn't sure. But at least she would be safe here.

As Marinette sleepily looked around, Adrien quickly pulled out his phone, making sure to keep an eye on her as he pressed it against his ear. It rang a good few times, and Adrien was beginning to worry that he wasn't going to answer until he sighed with relief when a familiar voice greeted him.

"Hello?" Nino asked in confusion, the sound of loud music filling the background.

"Nino? It's Adrien."

"I know, man, I was just shocked that you were calling me," Nino chuckled out slightly, though there was a nervous edge to his tone. "What's up?"

"Are you at Kim's party?" Adrien asked.

"Yeah?"

"Well – umm – it's kind of a long story but," Adrien trailed off as he watched Marinette sway on her feet, "but I have Marinette here with me and –"

"Wait, what?" Nino asked in confusion.

"Marinette's with me, and –"

"Why is Marinette with you?" Nino cut him off again. "She was just at the party."

"Well, something happened, and now she's hear with me," Adrien explained. "Don't worry, she's perfectly safe, she's just not exactly in a fit state to be going anywhere right now."

"Okaaaaay," Nino said, still sounding lost and shocked.

"And I was kinda wondering," Adrien continued, "if you could let her parents know that she's safe? Just tell them that she and everyone else went back to your place for a nightcap or something?"

Nino was silent for a few moments. "You want me to tell her parents that she came to my place for a nightcap despite a whole night of drinking?"

"Errr, yeah?"

"Adrien, that doesn't make any sense," Nino sighed out. "Plus why do I need to lie? Can't I just tell them that she's at your place? Also, I don't know why I should be helping her after what she did tonight."

"Huh?" Adrien was shocked before growing increasingly angry. "Look, it doesn't matter what Marinette has done, she didn't deserve what happened to her tonight. I'm just trying to be a good friend and look after her, and all I'm asking is that you do the same. I don't want her parents to worry, but I don't want anyone else to know that I'm involved for obvious privacy reasons."

"Okay okay, dude, chillax." Nino began to sound guilty.

"I'm sure you'll think of something to tell her parents," Adrien said as he took a deep breath to calm himself down again.

"I will. And what happened? Is Marinette alright?"

"She's fine," Adrien sighed out as he rubbed the back of his head while watching her looking at some ornaments that he had on display, "well, as fine as she can be anyway. I'll explain more later. Thanks for helping me out."

Adrien then hung up on Nino before he could ask any more questions.

He watched Marinette sadly as she inspected the object in her hand, looking completely hypnotised by it. His heart truly broke for his princess. It was obvious that she had been through a lot, and now this had happened. He just hoped that it wouldn't set back her progress too much, but even if it did, he would always be there for her no matter what. He would never abandon her for anything, and nothing could ever tear him away from her.

Smiling softly at that thought, he headed over towards her, and watched as she tried to force her eyes to stay open. She looked completely exhausted, all of her giddy energy from before having completely vanished. Adrien wasn't sure if he had ever seen her look so drained, not even when she was sick. But it had been a long night for her, and Adrien wanted to make sure that she could get some proper rest. He could try and figure out what had happened, as well as the damage, when she woke up tomorrow.

"Come on, let's make sure you get plenty of rest," Adrien spoke softly to her, taking hold of her hand before leading her upstairs.

"This place…" Marinette shivered.

Adrien shot her another strange look, confused by what she had just said. What did that even mean? Though she was dazed and exhausted right now, so it probably didn't even mean anything at all. Marinette looked too lost inside her own mind right now, so no doubt she was probably just talking about whatever her drunk imagination was coming up with.

Finally making it up the stairs, Adrien made sure to keep a tight hold of her as he lead her towards one of the many guest bedrooms in the huge house. Marinette's head lolled against his shoulder as she seemed to be struggling more and more to fight off the temptations of sleep. He sat her down on the bed, and she yawned before rubbing her eyes. She really did look adorable, despite the incoherent state that she was in.

He wondered how much she would be effected tomorrow. How much would she remember? Maybe it was definitely for the best that he had taken her back to his place, because if she did remember, she would likely need someone to be there for her. Adrien just hoped that she wouldn't freak out too much over waking up in a strange house with him fussing over her. He just hoped that she would open up to him instead of bottling it all up like she would usually do. It seemed he had got there just in time, but what had happened was still likely going to be incredibly traumatic for her, especially after everything else she had been through…after everything that _he_ had put her through.

"I'll just go and get you some water, Marinette," Adrien announced, not liking the thought of her being out of his sight, but he would only be in the en suite, and it would only take a few seconds.

Shooting a sleepy and dazed Marinette one last worried glance, Adrien headed into the en suite, grabbing a glass that was usually kept on the counter next to the sink. He filled it with water before quickly dashing back into Marinette's room, freezing in place when he saw her struggling to remove her black leather jacket.

"Stupid jacket won't come off!" Marinette yelled in frustration. "It's way too hot!"

Adrien sighed and placed the glass of water down on the bedside cabinet before moving forward to help her try and take her jacket off. In her state, she was trying to shrug it off herself instead of just pulling her arms out. She had an annoyed look on her face, but she finally calmed down and remained still when Adrien grabbed hold of the back of the shoulders and began pulling down.

He had only removed the jacket a few inches before something caught his attention, causing him to freeze. Pure horror consumed him, and all he could do was stare with wide eyes as his mouth hung open in shock. It felt like he was being strangled as the sight in front of him was finally processed by his brain. Slowly, Adrien began to pull her jacket off even more, revealing more and more of her bare skin. Her black dress was sleeveless, and it hung down her back slightly, revealing the top portion of her skin there.

But where smooth pale skin should have been, the skin was instead red and uneven. These blotches covered almost her entire back, and they travelled down her arms like deformed veins before fading as they reached her hands. The whole of her back was stained crimson, almost looking like Marinette was missing all of her skin. The urge to reach out and touch her discoloured skin was overpowering. He needed confirmation that what he was seeing was real.

The sight sickened and terrified him. Who had done this to her? What were these scars from? They almost looked like burn marks, but Adrien couldn't be too sure. He had never seen anything like this or on this scale before. His heart shattered into a million tiny pieces at the sight. What on earth had his poor princess been through?

Suddenly, her behaviour was beginning to make so much more sense. That's why she always wore clothes that covered most of her body. That was why she wouldn't let him look at her arm that one time when he could have sworn that he saw something there. That was why she was so defensive.

Tears stung Adrien's eyes at the thought of all of Marinette's suffering. Had she hid them from him because she was ashamed? Was it because she thought he would be disgusted by her? That he would think that she was ugly? Well that was absolutely ridiculous. He could never find her ugly. She was the most beautiful person in the world, and she had nothing to be ashamed of, especially when she was with him.

It felt like an eternity had passed as Adrien processed this revelation, but in reality, it was probably only a few seconds. Marinette was still stood in place, waiting for Adrien to finish pulling her jacket off her. He did so, still unable to take his eyes off the huge marks on Marinette's skin. She didn't seem to notice though as she climbed onto the bed, collapsing down onto the pillow, immediately passing out.

Adrien remained frozen in place for another few minutes before he snapped out of it. He turned to look at Marinette again, fast asleep in the middle of the huge queen sized bed that made her look so small and vulnerable. Her back was facing him, still revealing all of her scars to him. Adrien almost felt sick at the thought of Marinette going through so much pain. Had she been in some sort of accident? Had she been attacked? If she was, then Adrien began hoping to return the favour to whoever had done this to her.

Sighing to himself, Adrien longed for nothing more than to be able to take all of Marinette's pain and suffering away. He would gladly suffer a thousand times more than he already was if it meant that Marinette could finally experience some peace and happiness.

He slowly approached her sleeping form before sitting down on the bed next to her, just watching her sleep. His hand was once again drawn to her body, and he finally gently touched one of the huge scars on her back, delicately tracing his finger over it. She was so beautiful. She didn't have to hide. She had nothing to be ashamed of. These scars were only proof that she was an amazingly brave survivor. That she had fought on and lived through something awful only to come out on top.

He just hoped that maybe he could open Marinette's eyes to that fact.

Smiling at her sleeping form again, Adrien slowly leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. He breathed in her sweet and intoxicating scent as he did so, causing his heart to flutter uncontrollably.

"Sweet dreams, Marinette," he whispered, as he finally forced himself to pull away from her.

* * *

 **Well, there you finally have it. An aspect of the story that you guys have been debating about for so long has finally been revealed. I hope that it was to your liking and that you enjoyed the chapter. Please feel free to leave your opinions in a review as they're a big help and inspire me to keep writing. I hope that you guys all have an amazing weekend, and I'll see you next week!**

 **To the guest reviewer who asked me about the rating and whether this story will have 'intimate' content, I'll have to answer your question here since I can't reply to you through PM. I'm guessing your euphemism is referring to sex scenes. There will be somewhat intimate scenes in the story in the future, but nothing detailed and hardcore. There will be no witnessing of fourth base. I'd like to keep my story on the site and not get banned or whatever. I hope this answers your question.**


	33. Living Nightmare

**Ack, I'm so sorry about not updating last week and about this update being two days late. I took a little bit of a mini break last week, and this week I have just been completely out of sync and have managed my time really badly. Not to mention I lost my notes, so that was terrifying. Here's hoping that I can finally get back on track. Thank you so much for being patient with me, and thank you for all of your awesome reviews! You guys rock!**

* * *

 **Chapter 33: Living Nightmare**

The first thing that Marinette became painfully aware of was the deep throbbing of her head. Her whole brain felt like it had been taken out of her skull before being kicked and thrown around and then placed back inside her skull again. She couldn't even dare to bring herself to open her eyes as her eyeballs felt like they had swollen to ten times the size that they usually were. Her whole body ached and felt like it was made of lead. Any form of movement felt like it would be incredibly strenuous, so all Marinette wanted to do was just continue to lay where she was and hopefully fall back asleep.

Her bed certainly felt more comfortable than normal. The cosy feeling automatically helped her feel a little bit better, despite the continued throbbing pain of her head. The sheets were soft beneath her skin, and a thick blanket was pulled snugly around her, making Marinette feel like she was tucked deep inside a safe, warm cocoon that would keep her safe as she rested and recovered from whatever illness was plaguing her right now.

Everything smelt slightly unfamiliar though, raising a small question mark inside her mind. But Marinette ignored it, figuring that maybe she or her mother had put some new sheets on her bed during the night. It was definitely a good job that they did.

However, something about the scent also smelled familiar, but Marinette couldn't quite place it. It was weak and faint, but it was there. But the more Marinette tried to place what it was, the more her head hurt. Forcing herself to think right now almost felt like she was trying to lift a whole bus above her head. There was no way that was going to happen.

However, it wasn't long before Marinette became aware of another painful sensation in her body. Her entire throat felt like it had been viciously rubbed with sandpaper, leaving the edges raw and dryer than a vast desert. Her own tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, as that too felt like it hadn't come into contact with water for years.

Gasping, Marinette forced herself up onto her hands and knees, grabbing for the glass of water that she normally kept on the shelf next to her bed. The glass felt nice and cold, almost as if someone had left it there for her recently, but Marinette didn't have time to ponder that. She immediately gulped the water down, savouring the feeling of the cool liquid soothing her dry throat.

It wasn't long before the entire pint sized glass was empty, and Marinette gasped loudly for air as soon as she was finished, licking the last few beads of water from her lips, desperate to consume every last drop. It didn't completely cure her dire thirst, but it at least made it a little bit more bearable.

Her stomach twisted as the water reached her stomach, and Marinette groaned, bracing herself to bolt towards her sink in case she started throwing up. Fortunately, her stomach soon settled. Her head continued to pound though, and finally, Marinette's mind cleared enough to begin wondering what had happened last night. Most of the night was an incomprehensible blur, with her last clear memory being of walking into the club with Alya.

Why was she feeling like this? Marinette hadn't intended to drink anything, let alone get drunk. Had her resolve weakened before caving into pressure from her friends? It sounded possible, but at the same time, Marinette knew how determined she was not to drink. Being drunk meant accidentally spilling her secrets and getting herself into trouble. Maybe she would have to give Alya a call and ask about what had happened last night. That's if Alya could even remember with how drunk she had said she was determined to get. Maybe the memories would naturally come back to her throughout the day.

But for that to happen, Marinette needed to get out of bed. Something that she was really struggling to bring herself to do, especially since she had buried her face in the thick, soft pillow after downing the glass of water. Pressing her face against the smooth texture did help her head slightly, but she was still feeling incredibly thirsty, and no doubt her parents wouldn't be too happy if she had come home really drunk. She supposed that she better face the music.

Groaning as she forced herself to sit upright again, Marinette forced her stubborn eyelids to open once again. Her hair hung in a knotted mess in front of her face, and she struggled to peel it back as her eyes throbbed, feeling like they had swollen to twice their usual size. Her vision was blurry at first, but she eventually managed to blink away the fog.

That's when Marinette froze.

Where…where was she…?

Panic began to consume her as her head whipped around, trying to take in the unfamiliar room as she tried to force her brain to remember where she was and how she had got here. Wherever she was, it looked pretty fancy. Had they all gone back to a hotel or something? That was the only explanation that Marinette could come up with. Though it sounded reasonable and likely, it failed to calm her down as her heart tried to thump its way out of her chest.

She found herself sitting up in the middle of a huge queen sized bed with thick, fresh sheets patterned with golden flowers and leaves. There were two nightstands next to the bed, each one looking like they were made out of mahogany and like they belonged in some sort of expensive antique shop. The digital clock on her left hand side displayed that it was one o'clock in the afternoon, causing Marinette to panic even more.

Did her parents know where she was? Had she called them to let her know that she was staying in a hotel? Where were her friends? She strained her ears to listen, but she couldn't hear anything. All she could hear was the frantic beating of her own heart, and her unstable breathing as she tried her best not to freak out.

The room had a bright white and gold theme, which definitely didn't help with her throbbing eyes and headache as the sunlight peeked through the cracks in the curtains, causing the whole room to glow. There were two doors at the other side of the room. One was closed, while the other hung open slightly, leading into another room that had a tiled floor, which Marinette guessed was the bathroom.

Okay, now she knew that she must be in some sort of hotel. How had they all managed to afford this though? Was it Chloé's hotel? Nah, there was no way that Chloé would ever let her stay in her father's hotel. Maybe they had all pooled their cash together as a treat for Kim's birthday?

 _Come one, Marinette, think! Try to remember!_

But no matter how much Marinette tried to strain her brain or pulled at her hair, all of her memories of that night remained blank. Pure nothingness. It left her in a terrified state, not knowing what she should do next. Should she just leave? Should she stay put? Should she go and try to look for the others? Where was Alya? She had promised that she wouldn't leave her side.

Marinette worriedly wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her bare arms as she tried to calm herself down and come up with a plan.

Wait…

 _Bare_ arms?

Her arms were… _bare?_

Her arms were bare!

No no no no no!

Marinette gasped as she threw herself out of bed and dashed into the adjacent bathroom. The long wall length mirror revealed everything to her. She froze, her eyes widened, and she felt like she was going to be sick. Her scars were on full display for the whole world to see. In all of their ugly glory. They looked like cracks running up her arm, blotching out in places and making her look like she had some sort of horrific disease.

This couldn't be happening!

Had anyone seen? Did everyone now know? Had Marinette revealed them herself? What had happened? Had she really got drunk and revealed one of her deepest and darkest secrets to nearly everyone who knew her? Were they suspicious? Were they repulsed by her?

Choking, Marinette turned and leaned her head over the toilet, her knees wobbling until she collapsed onto the cool tiled floor. She kept gagging until a small amount of bile rose up her throat before it dribbled into the toilet bowl. Her stomach felt like a powerful tornado as it spun at rapid speed in her abdomen, twisting all of her organs into knots as she continued to double over in pain and disgust.

How could she have let this happen? How could she have been so stupid?

Marinette whimpered as she leaned away from the toilet before pressing her head down onto the cold, titled floor. The coolness felt amazing against her forehead, but it did nothing to soothe the deep fear inside her at the situation she had found herself in.

What was she going to do? If her friends really had found out, what was she going to tell them? Had she revealed anything else that she shouldn't have? Well, she was still alive and hadn't been lynched by an angry mob, so Marinette supposed that was a positive sign. Maybe no one had seen anything at all. Maybe she was just being too paranoid. Everyone else might have been too drunk to remember if she had shown them.

At least, that's what Marinette hoped anyway.

As much as she wanted to hide in the bathroom for an eternity, Marinette knew that she needed to escape, clear her head, and figure out everything that had happened. That was the only way she was finally going to have peace of mind. That, and there were some painkillers at home that had her name all over them right now. She just hoped that her parents weren't worried or got mad at her for staying out all night without telling them. Though knowing her parents, there was already a search party out looking for her.

Marinette forced herself up again before she wobbled back into the bedroom. She turned to press her ear against the other closed door, and Marinette frowned worriedly when she could still only here silence from the other side. If this was a hotel, shouldn't she be hearing people talking or walking about outside? Shouldn't she be hearing her friends? That is of course if she wasn't the first one to wake up. If Marinette had gotten drunk, then she could only imagine what state the rest of her friends were in.

Moving her head away from the door, that's when Marinette finally noticed her black leather jacket folded neatly just below the foot of the bed on a small table that she hadn't noticed before. She immediately ran over and yanked it up, pulling it over herself and zipping it up, making sure that her arms and torso would never again be exposed like that.

If her jacket had been in her room with her, then maybe she hadn't revealed her scars to anyone. Perhaps she had taken it off as soon as she had gotten into the room. At least, that's what Marinette hoped anyway. But if she had taken her jacket off, then why hadn't she taken her shoes off? Marinette guessed that she could chalk it up to drunk logic.

Luckily, her phone was still in her pocket, and Marinette immediately checked it, expecting a lot of angry, worried and confused messages. However, there was nothing. No messages, no notifications and no missed calls. It was like she hadn't just disappeared for hours on end. Weren't her parents worried? Maybe she had actually remembered to call them last night and let them know what was going on. It was surprising, but certainly made Marinette feel a little bit better. It hopefully meant that she didn't have angry parents waiting for her when she made it home.

Taking a deep breath, she turned her attention back towards the door, terrified of what lay beyond. Hopefully if she was careful, she could sneak out completely unnoticed. She urged herself on by reminding herself that the sooner she got out of here, the sooner she could get back home and head back to bed.

Her head continued to pound though, and her vision would occasionally blur slightly as it felt like her brain was ready to burst out of her skull. But she forced herself to move, trying the door handle, and becoming confused yet relieved when she realised that it wasn't locked. That was strange. Had Marinette been stupid enough to leave the door unlocked all night and all day? There was a lock on the door, but not the type that you would expect to see in a hotel.

The door slowly opened, and Marinette peaked through the widening gap before she gasped and fell backwards.

No no no no no!

NO NO NO NO NO!

She couldn't be back here!

There was no way!

It was impossible!

Maybe she was still asleep and dreaming?

That had to be it!

The familiar hallways of the Agreste mansion greeted her ominously, empty and quiet just like they always were. Marinette instinctively coughed as she worried that the thick smoke was about to pollute her lungs again. Her mind began to spin, and she wanted nothing more than to sprint out of there. But her body locked itself in place, terrified of what might lay ahead of her.

Was Chat Noir waiting for her? Was Hawkmoth waiting to ambush her again? Had the fire begun to burn outside? Was she trapped?

No! This time, Marinette was determined to fight her way out of here! This time, she wouldn't lose! She wouldn't let anything happen to her, or her miraculous. She would learn from her previous mistakes and flee before it was too late. She would go and get help. She could summon other miraculous users to help her finally defeat Hawkmoth and maybe try and get Chat Noir back onto her side.

With her determination now outweighing her fear, Marinette frowned and stood back up, ready to make a run for it. This time she would make it out in one piece. She wasn't going to let herself go through something like that again. She would redeem herself. She just had to.

In a split second, Marinette had bolted out of the door and skidded in the hallway before she began sprinting down the hall. Everything felt just as tall and intimidating as they had all those years ago, from the marble pillars, to the black and white furniture and crystal chandeliers. Her footsteps were loud and echoed down the hallway as she ran, but Marinette didn't care. All she cared about was getting out of there.

Her heart continued to beat frantically, and her chest constricted, making it difficult for her to breathe. Her vision blurred even more, and what little energy her adrenaline had provided her with was now quickly beginning to run out. It felt like she might collapse at any second, but Marinette shook her head and stubbornly fought off exhaustion.

She finally reached the huge staircase, skipping three steps at a time as she continued to sprint her way down them. She lost her footing a few times, but always fortunately managed to right herself before she could fall. The huge double doors were in her sight. The sun shone through the windows, promising Marinette freedom and safety. She slammed against the doors, tugging and banging on them, desperately willing for them to open.

"Marinette?"

Marinette screamed and slammed her body against the door in one last attempt to burst them open, but it was no use. The doors wouldn't budge, and all Marinette could do was collapse in a heap on the floor, curling in on herself as she waited for the flames to consume her once again. She hadn't made it. She was too late again. Why could she never save herself? Why could she never defeat Hawkmoth? Why was she always such a failure at everything that she did?

This time, she really was going to die. There would be no Master Fu to save her this time.

"Marinette?!" the strangely familiar voice screamed again before Marinette heard footsteps charging towards her.

She flinched away, wrapping her arms around her head in a feeble attempt to try and protect herself. Though she knew that she wouldn't stand a chance. Now all she could do was wait for the final blow from either Hawkmoth or Chat Noir. Then it would be all over. She had lost. But at least this way she wouldn't have to live with the shame and trauma. Death was the best and most peaceful option. Death was the only place that she could finally be free.

She became vaguely aware of someone screaming her name as she could feel the water rising up around her. She had only a small pocket of air left, but it wasn't long before the waves engulfed her and dragged her under. Her lungs burned and her throat constricted, making her gasp uncontrollably. No matter how hard Marinette tried to kick herself to the surface, she only kept being dragged further down into the deep, dark depths. The light was beginning to fade above her, and the pressure was becoming more than her body could handle.

However, she soon became aware of something warm wrapping around her. It was like someone had reached down into the water and grabbed hold of her, pulling her back up to the surface again. She could see the light again, and she finally managed to gasp a mouthful of air. Her lungs rejoiced, and the ocean around her calmed before shrinking into nothing more than a puddle that she could easily step out of.

The feeling of warmth around her continued, and Marinette finally opened her eyes, her vision now being filled with the darkness she had hidden herself in. She moved her arms, once again revealing the sight of the Agreste mansion. Her heart continued to race, but she no longer felt like she was drowning. Exhaustion swept her back out into the ocean, only this time, she was cruising along the surface with the warm sun in her face as she struggled to resist the urge to completely relax and close her eyes.

As Marinette managed to calm down some more, she soon became aware of the fact that the warm feeling around her was in fact an arm. A hand was resting against the top of her arm, and that's when Marinette suddenly realised that she wasn't alone.

She held her breath in panic, not daring to move. But her curiosity eventually won, and Marinette slowly turned her head, her eyes finally meeting the very concerned and worried eyes of…of…

Marinette yelped and threw herself backwards and out of Adrien's arms. He looked back at her, seeming just as panicked and startled as she was feeling. His green eyes were wide, and his arms were held out in front of him as if he wanted to reach forward and pull her into his arms again. However, he remained frozen, seemingly not knowing what to do or say. Neither did Marinette.

Her mind spun at a dizzying pace as it struggled to process what had happened. She…she was in the Agreste mansion. Adrien Agreste was standing right in front of her. Okay, now Marinette was really beginning to feel like she was dreaming. Was she dreaming of her longing for something that never was?

But…how could that be…?

Marinette forced her mind back into reality, finally getting a good look at Adrien. He had certainly…changed a lot over the years. He no longer looked like the perfect, well-kempt boy that used to be the centre of Marinette's world all those years ago. He had grown a lot taller, losing some of the roundness in his face, but still retaining the soft and kind looking features that he had inherited from his mother. His green eyes were duller, and his skin was pale and almost translucent. It was like it hadn't been properly touched by sunlight in years.

But what Marinette really couldn't get over was just how _fragile_ he looked. His whole body looked like it would shatter at the slightest touch. He was unhealthily skinny, with his bones pointing out in a few places, while also making his cheeks look slightly hollow. His lips were also pale, dry and chapped, and he had huge dark bruises under his eyes as if he had never known a decent night's sleep. His baggy sweatshirt and jeans hung off him, making him look even more willowy than he already was. His hair had lost its shine, being replaced by a dry, frizzy mess that looked incredibly unkempt. It was longer too, but it looked like there had been times where Adrien had attempted to cut it himself, as some of the ends were jagged and it looked completely uneven in certain places.

He looked…he looked…just like her.

Marinette nearly chocked on the guilt as it made its way through her body, stabbing at her repeatedly, the force of which almost knocked her backwards again. All of this time…all of this time he had been living in here like this…

That's when Marinette finally took her eyes off him to look around. She hadn't noticed it before, but the entire mansion was in disarray. There were clothes and papers scattered everywhere. There were plates piled high in some corners, with the food having barely been touched on most of them. His meals seemed to mainly consist of sandwiches and cereals, the most basic things that a human could make. There was no fresh air at all, and it hung heavily around them, almost making it difficult to breathe. Dust covered a lot of the items, and most of the curtains were drawn closed, keeping the inside of the mansion fairly dark apart from the dim light of a few lightbulbs that still worked in the chandelier, along with a few rays of sunshine that managed to seep in through the windows next to the front door.

That's when Marinette finally realised the weight of what Nino and Alya had been telling her all these years. Adrien never left his house. He had remained hidden in here for years, only occasionally seeing Nino, Alya and Chloe, but never letting anyone else in. He…he was ashamed of what his father had done. He had imprisoned himself in this house where it had all happened. Marinette began to wonder how Adrien hadn't been driven mad by it all.

Guilt continued to consume her as she thought about all of those years that she had been wallowing in her own self-pity without once sparing a thought for Adrien. She was supposed to be his friend, yet she had never once thought to check on him. She never once thought about comforting him over what had happened with his father. If there was anyone had undoubtedly had a right to be affected by everything that had happened, it was Adrien.

He had been the love of her life once upon a time. But now…now she wasn't sure how she felt. She still got those familiar flutters as she looked back at him again, but that was it. Adrien would always have a special place in her heart, but she couldn't imagine herself crushing on anyone right now. All of the space for that had been overtaken both in her head and in her heart.

But Marinette supposed that the bigger question right now was…what the hell was she doing here?

"A-Adrien…?" Marinette finally managed to speak, though her voice sounded hoarse, and it occasionally cracked as she had tried to speak.

A soft, warm smile appeared on Adrien's face, and it strikingly reminded Marinette of someone. Her heart leapt in her chest, but she quickly calmed herself down and brushed it off. She was probably still a little on the delirious side after everything that had happened.

"Marinette…" Adrien whispered her name, making it sound like the most sacred thing in the world. "Are you alright?"

He took a cautious step towards her before his smile widened upon Marinette not flinching away from him. She could feel herself relaxing even more, but she was still really worried about everything that had happened, especially since she couldn't remember a thing. As panicked as she originally had been, Marinette was now feeling quite relieved that Adrien was here. At least she had a familiar face and she wasn't alone.

"I…I think so," she finally managed to bring herself to answer.

Adrien reached a hand down to her, and Marinette stared at it for a moment before she took it. His skin felt slightly dry, but his hand was warm and comforting. It sent electric shocks up her arm, jumpstarting her heart and causing it to race once again. She could feel her cheeks growing warm as Adrien kept hold of her hand.

But she quickly shook her head, trying to ignore the urge she had to run out of there and never come back. Adrien had clearly helped her. The least she could do was swallow her fears and thank him properly. Not to mention she could finally try to be a decent friend to him again.

"What…what happened?" Marinette finally asked.

Adrien frowned. "You mean you don't remember anything?"

Marinette looked down at their intertwined hands before she gasped and yanked her hand back. Her face erupted into a violent shade of red, and her whole body grew hot in panic and embarrassment. Horror consumed her, and all Marinette could do was squeak while Adrien looked at her like he was about ready to call her an ambulance.

"We…we didn't…did we?" Marinette squeaked out.

Adrien stared at her blankly for a second before his face also turned bright red.

"No! No no no!" Adrien quickly reassured her, causing Marinette to sigh with relief.

"Great!" Marinette yelled before she froze and began stuttering awkwardly. "I-I mean…not that it would have been a _bad_ thing…no…I mean…it's just that…no…I mean…!"

Adrien began chuckling. "It's okay, I get it. I'm not the type to take advantage of drunk girls." There was a dark edge to his last sentence that confused Marinette slightly, but she brushed it off in favour of focusing on something else.

"Drunk?" she gulped.

Adrien frowned at her. "What's the last thing that you remember?"

"Oh…ummm…I think the last thing that I remember was entering the club with Alya. After that it's a complete blank, and I have no idea what happened or how I got here," Marinette explained worriedly.

"Well, it's okay, you're safe now." Adrien offered her a comforting smile.

Marinette couldn't help but look around the house in fear. "Yeah. Safe."

There were a few moments of awkward silence between them.

"Well…I suppose I should get going," Marinette announced, her fear taking complete control of her body again. "I bet my parents are wondering where I am."

"Oh no, it's okay," Adrien quickly interjected, "I had Nino call them last night and tell them that you had all gone back to Nino's place after the party."

"Wha – huh?" Marinette replied in confusion, her mind going blank as it crashed, unable to process the millions of questions that were now racing through her mind.

"And you don't have to leave right away, right?" Adrien continued. "I want to at least make sure that you're okay and that you don't need to go to a hospital. You should at least stay and have some breakfast, just so that I can monitor you. I have first aid training after all."

"Ummm…" Before Marinette could think of a reply, Adrien was already leading her into the kitchen.

Marinette froze in the entryway with Adrien letting go of her hand as he continued inside. She was vaguely aware of him looking through all of the cupboards, but all Marinette could focus on was the table in the middle of the room. She could feel the titled top pressed against her back once again, the empty and uncaring look in Chat Noir's eyes as he glared down at her. The pain she felt as he mocked her. The panic that consumed her as she struggled to find and rescue Adrien.

"Marinette?" a familiar voice echoed around her.

Marinette shook her head. "Huh? What?"

"Are you okay?" Adrien asked, and Marinette finally looked away from the table, meeting his concerned eyes.

"Y-yeah," Marinette forced out.

"Are you sure?" Adrien didn't look too convinced.

"Yeah." Marinette forced a fake smile. "Just confused after everything that's happened."

Adrien sighed as he heated up some croissants for her before putting them on a plate and placing them on the table. Marinette stared at the table again, knowing that there was no way that she was going to be able to stomach food, especially because of where she was. She didn't dare move forward, but she became ever more conscious that her behaviour must look incredibly weird to Adrien right now.

So she gulped and slowly edged her way towards the table before sitting down on one of the stools. Adrien sat facing her, and Marinette's whole body remained tense as she struggled not to visibly freak out. Every cell in her body was screaming at her to run and get out of there. Each object in the room gave her a chilling flashback of that fateful night. It was like she was in a living nightmare. She was back where it had all began. It was like the universe was taunting her.

"S-sorry for my freak out earlier…" Marinette apologised, hoping that maybe starting a conversation with Adrien would distract her from her surroundings.

"It's okay, I figured you might be a little startled by everything. Though didn't you get my note?" Adrien asked, frowning slightly.

"What note?"

"The note that I'd left next to the bed."

Marinette felt like an idiot. "Ummm…no…" she admitted at last, raising her shoulders to hide her face slightly.

Adrien chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad that you seem to be alright this morning. Apart from the amnesia of course."

"Yeeeaaaahhh." Marinette bit her lip awkwardly. "So are you ever gonna tell me how I got here? Were you at the party last night?"

"Oh yeah, sorry," Adrien said as he shook his head before turning serious. "No, I wasn't at the party last night."

Marinette's eyes widened. "Then how…?"

"I went for a walk last night and that's when I found you…errr…wandering around…" Adrien appeared to choke on his own words at the end. "My place was closest, so I could only take you back here. I told Nino to lie and say you were at his place because…well…I don't like attracting too much attention to myself."

Marinette nodded in understanding. She couldn't believe that Adrien had taken her in. He didn't have to, but he did. He was always the kindest person that Marinette knew. To be honest, she was glad that Nino had lied. She didn't want too much attention drawn to what had happened. Not to mention she would be worried about people getting the wrong idea.

"I guess I must have left the party early last night," Marinette mumbled. That sounded like something she would do.

"Mmm."

"Though it's weird because I was determined to make sure that I didn't drink anything at the party. So I have no idea how I got drunk," Marinette explained, frowning to herself as she tried to force herself to remember again.

Adrien looked at her weirdly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't like to drink," she elaborated. "Everyone pretty much knows that. So I have no idea how I ended up drunk. It doesn't sound like me to give into peer pressure like that."

Adrien looked down at the table deep in thought before he looked back up at her. "You…you didn't…take anything? Did you?"

"What? No!" Marinette protested, slightly offended that Adrien thought she would do such a thing. But then she stopped and thought about it. She didn't remember the night at all, so anything could have happened. "I think…" she ended up adding.

Adrien frowned at her before abruptly standing up. "We better get you to the hospital to check."

"What?! No!" Marinette immediately protested before grabbing tightly onto Adrien's arm. "Please, Adrien! I don't want any fuss! I'm fine, I promise!"

"It's better to be on the safe side, Marinette," Adrien urged.

"But I'm fine! I know I'm fine. All I need is some rest. No doctors or hospitals. Please!"

Adrien continued to frown down at her, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Look, Marinette…something else happened last night that…"

"I don't care, Adrien!" Marinette continued to plead. "I just want to pretend like last night never happened. All I know is that I feel fine and don't need to see a doctor. I'll only be wasting their time anyway. I obviously must have caved into the pressure of getting drunk, that's all. Please Adrien, I'm not sure how much more I can take!"

Adrien's eyes suddenly grew incredibly frightened and sympathetic. He sighed and took a seat next to her before grabbing one of the croissants and handing it to her.

"Okay…no doctors. As long as you let me see you eat something without any trouble."

There was a protective edge to Adrien's voice that sounded incredibly familiar to Marinette. All of this was beginning to sound like something Chat Noir would do. At the thought of him, she began to wonder if he was okay. Had he managed to go outside like he had promised last night?

Wait a minute…

Adrien never left his house, but was outside last night…the night that happened to be the same night that Chat Noir had promised to go out. Adrien and Chat Noir both had problems leaving the house. No…it couldn't be…could it?

Of course not.

It was just a weird coincidence. There was no way that Adrien was Chat Noir. They were way too different. Adrien probably just finally decided to take a walk outside at night since Chat Noir was appearing to no longer be a threat to people. Besides, Chat Noir was only now just starting to become sane after years of terrorising the city. Adrien on the other hand appeared to be acting quite normal, apart from his obvious depression and anxiety issues.

So Marinette quickly shook off that thought as she stared down at the croissant that Adrien was still holding in front of her face. Begrudgingly, she took it from him before she began nibbling on it. Adrien visibly relaxed now that she was eating. The awkward silence returned again as Marinette tried to ignore the churning in her stomach with each bite. The feeling of Adrien's gaze on her was slightly uncomfortable, but Marinette tried her best to ignore it. She knew that it was only because Adrien cared so much. He had always been such a nice and caring person. It seemed that his personality was still very much the same despite everything.

"I'm sorry…" Marinette choked as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"What?" Adrien gasped in alarm. "Where's all this come from?"

He awkwardly wrapped an arm around her shoulder as Marinette was unable to control her crying. The guilt engulfed her again, and the shame was unbearable. She was such a horrible person. She was such a burden. She didn't deserve this kind treatment. Especially from Adrien after the way she had treated and abandoned him. She was the worst person in the world. She was evil.

"I…I've been a terrible friend," Marinette managed to gasp out between sobs.

"What are you talking about?" Adrien tried to keep his voice light-hearted, but there was no hiding his worry.

"I abandoned you," Marinette cried.

"What?"

"I didn't help you. You were my friend and I never once visited you to make sure that you were okay. You were all alone and I did nothing to help. I'm the worst person in the world," Marinette continued to sob. "And…and now…you're the one…who's comforting _me._ "

She pushed his arm off her and tried to regain control of herself again. Adrien remained still, silent and confused. All the while, Marinette was being torn apart on the inside. She was so selfish. She should have been there for Adrien, despite what she was feeling or going through. How could she claim to be his friend when she did things like that?

"Marinette, it's okay. I know you were going through your own stuff. And hey, I never came to visit and check on you, despite knowing that you were having a rough time, so I'm just as much of a bad friend," Adrien sighed out.

Marinette sniffed. "Huh? You…you knew?"

"Nino told me," Adrien admitted. "Don't worry, he hasn't discussed it with anyone else though. He only told me because I pressure him to."

"You did?" Marinette frowned in confusion. "Why?"

"I…errr…" Adrien suddenly looked away awkwardly. "I was just checking that everyone was doing okay, and he got a little cagey when it came to you and…and I was just being nosy."

"Oh." Marinette sighed, placing the croissant back down onto the plate.

She wasn't really too bothered by Nino telling Adrien. He would have told him the fake version of events anyway, so it didn't really matter to her. She knew that she must look crazy to her friends. But she could never tell them the truth. The less they knew, the better.

"I'm sorry about everything that's happened to you," Adrien said softly.

Marinette shrugged. "Don't be. It's not like it's your fault or anything."

"Is what happened why you have those scars?"

Marinette froze.

The whole world around her suddenly seemed to implode, leaving Marinette to be sucked into the dark void. It compressed her into a singularity, and now Marinette knew that she was beyond the event horizon. She was at the point of no return. Someone knew. Adrien knew. He had seen her scars. No one was supposed to know. She really had been stupid last night. Now she may have created her own downfall.

"I-I'm sorry…I didn't mean to pry…it's just…I'm not gonna lie. I saw them last night when you took your jacket off last night…" Adrien tried to explain.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Marinette responded flatly. She had no idea why she responded with that. Did she really think that she could convince Adrien that he had imagined the whole thing?

"Marinette, please…there's nothing to be embarrassed about," Adrien pleaded.

Marinette remained silent, turning away from him as she tried to bite back a fresh round of tears. It was too much. Being back in the Agreste mansion and Adrien seeing her scars…it was enough to begin tipping her over the edge again. She wanted nothing more than to be back in her room right now, where she could hide from the rest of the world.

"You don't have to hide them," Adrien continued.

"Yes I do," Marinette snapped, turning around to glare at him. "They're ugly and disgusting."

"No they're not," Adrien tried to reassure her. "Scars are normal and pretty much everyone has some somewhere."

"Yes, but not ones like these!" Marinette began yelling. "Besides, it's not just how they look! It's what they remind me of!"

"And what do they remind you of?" Adrien asked.

"Of –" Marinette quickly stopped herself. "Nothing."

"Marinette, hiding from things that have happened doesn't do you any good. Believe me, I know."

"I don't want to talk about it. It was a few years ago now."

Adrien sighed. "You still have nothing to be ashamed of. You're still that beautiful and kind girl that I knew at school."

Marinette turned back around to gawk at him. Her cheeks turned pink as his words continued to run through her head. Why was he saying these things?

"Do…do you mean that?" Marinette gasped out.

"Of course I do." Adrien smiled warmly at her.

Marinette sighed before looking down at her lap. She tangled her fingers together and fought off the urge to have another breakdown. She couldn't believe that Adrien could say something so sweet to her. His words weren't true – she was nowhere near the same as the 'beautiful and kind girl' from school. But still, it meant a lot that Adrien had said that. Especially since she had no idea how he was putting up with her right now. How was he not repulsed? How was he not freaking out? How was he not demanding her to leave because she was really weird?

"I…I got into an accident…that's all." It wasn't exactly a lie.

"A car accident?"

"Something like that." Marinette's throat closed up, preventing her from saying anymore.

Adrien was silent for a moment.

"I…I had no idea…" he gasped.

"I don't like to talk about it. It happened, I'm scarred for life, and I'd prefer it if you didn't tell anyone else about it. No one was ever supposed to know or see," Marinette explained.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise," Adrien vowed.

Marinette relaxed in relief.

"But _you_ should."

"What?" Marinette gasped.

"You can't keep hiding yourself from the world, Marinette," Adrien implored.

Marinette glared at him. "You're a fine one to talk."

"Okay, maybe I am. But that just means that I know from experience how bad it is to hide yourself away from the rest of the world. How do you know what people are going to think until you actually show them?" Adrien demanded.

Marinette blinked at his words. It almost sounded like the advice that she had given Chat Noir a few weeks ago. However, all she could do was continue to stand there silently, unable to find a way to respond to that remark.

"I…I…I just know, okay!" was all Marinette could shriek back.

Adrien chuckled, and Marinette folded her arms and stuck her tongue out at him.

"You know I'm right. I didn't react the way you expected people to react. You should at least try tell the person closest to you. You shouldn't have to be ashamed of your own body, Marinette," Adrien reassured her. "What happened to you wasn't your fault."

Marinette looked away and bit her lip at that remark.

It was all becoming too much for her again.

"Thanks, Adrien." Marinette just barely managed to keep her voice from cracking. "And thank you so much for taking me in and looking after me. You really are the sweetest person in the world."

She reached up to give him a quick peck on the cheek before she began making her way towards the door of the kitchen. Adrien looked frozen in shock for a moment, before he gently touched his cheek where Marinette had just kissed him. Thinking about what she had just done made Marinette's cheeks turn pink, and she had no idea where that sudden burst of confidence had come from. It just felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. Her younger self would be doing cartwheels right now, but instead, all Marinette wanted to do right now was go home. Chat Noir would likely be arriving to see her soon, and she didn't want him panicking if he saw that she was missing. She wasn't sure if Paris would be able to handle another one of his rampages.

"It's no problem," Adrien finally managed to say. "And you _are_ a good friend, Marinette."

He began slowly leading her towards the front door, appearing to be in some sort of trance.

Marinette then had a thought. "Hey, is your number still the same?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'll be sure to keep in touch. Maybe we could even meet up at some point if you're feeling up to it? It seems like we've both been through some pretty rough stuff. Maybe it will help you talking to someone who understands?" Marinette offered.

Chat Noir had been doing this for her. Now she could spread the kindness by helping someone else.

"I…I think I'd like that," Adrien admitted, offering her a small smile.

Marinette smiled back. "My number is still the same too, so you can call or text me whenever you want."

Adrien beamed. "Thank you."

Marinette then sighed. "Anyway, I really do need to get going. I'm expecting someone later and I don't want to worry them."

"Yeah." Adrien weirdly smirked at her remark.

"Thank you again, Adrien. I'll talk to you soon," Marinette said as Adrien opened the door and the gates for her.

"Very soon." Adrien chuckled as he watched Marinette's retreating form.

* * *

 **Finally! It felt like it took forever to finish this chapter because of all of the damn distractions that kept getting in the way. I think I'm definitely going to move into a cave so I can get my writing done in peace. I hope the quality of the chapter hasn't suffered too much as a result, but I'm fairly happy with it. Thank you so much for reading, and as always, please feel free to let me know your opinions! I'm really hoping that my time management will be better next week and that I can get everything updated on time again.**

 **Also, I received my first ever Madness Within fan art! I nearly fainted when I saw it. People are making art out of** _ **my**_ **work?! Holy smokes, you guys are amazing! You can check it out on my blog, my Twitter, my Tumblr, or visit the artist's Tumblr. Her name is lanelin, and her work is awesome, so please go and show her some support!**


	34. Sinking

**I'm back! I'm so sorry about vanishing again, but I turned out that I needed to take some more time off to catch up with some other work and re-set myself. But then I also ended up falling sick which just delayed things even more. This chapter ended up taking me three days to write because it was so difficult, emotional and upsetting. At one point, it ended up causing me to have an anxiety attack, so I had to spend some time away from it. I hope you guys understand.**

 **But thank you so much for being patient with me and for all of your wonderful reviews. They really mean a lot to me. Also, thank you so much to everyone who has followed and favourited this story. It's things like this that really help me keep writing.**

 **CAUTION: This chapter contains detailed descriptions of panic attacks as well as dark content that some readers may find disturbing and uncomfortable.**

* * *

 **Chapter 34: Sinking**

Fear and panic choked Marinette as she ran around the corner from the Agreste mansion, the house's giant eyes watching her the entire time, always seeming ready to pull her back in for more torture. She wasn't sure how she had managed to stay there for so long, but all of her supressed terror was now hitting her full force, and Marinette found herself struggling to breathe and focus her mind.

Traumatic memories assaulted her brain, slamming against the already damaged tissue, causing her head to begin throbbing. She could see, hear, smell and taste everything from that night. The thick smell of the smoke as the house burned, her burnt and blistered skin, the beeping sound in her ears, the look on Chat Noir's face as she was pushed out of the window, the sharp stabbing of the glass as it pierced her skin, the taste of blood and smoke in her mouth before the peaceful darkness engulfed her.

Marinette wasn't too sure where she was or what was going on. She became vaguely aware of her knees colliding with the ground, ripping holes in her black tights, allowing the concrete sidewalk to scrape against her skin. But Marinette didn't even flinch at the pain. The world around her was spinning, horrific images danced across her vision, and no matter how much Marinette tried to squeeze her eyes closed, they just wouldn't stop. Through her eyelids, she could still see the terrifying glow.

Her throat closed up, and Marinette began to choke, coughing and spluttering as she clawed at her neck. Her stomach churned, and she grew terrified of throwing up everywhere. The more her head continued to spin, the worse her queasiness became. Her abdomen continued to tie itself into knots, making it almost feel like she had a huge, lumpy mass deep inside her that doubled the weight of her whole body. It was like the Earth itself was pulling down on her.

The world around her distorted as she sunk further down to the ground, feeling like she was sinking into the concrete as the city began to melt away. The memories wouldn't stop screaming at her as well as rattling around inside her skull, pounding against her brain. She felt like she was going to die. Was this finally it? Had her borrowed time now finally caught up to her?

She scratched at the concrete beneath her, small stones becoming embedded in her long nails as she did so. Despite the sinking sensation, the ground still felt solid and stable beneath her fingertips. Her mind jumped to her friends and family, just like they had done on that fateful night. The two faces that her mind lingered on the most, was Chat Noir and…Adrien. He had been through so much too. As had Chat Noir. They seemed to be both making the effort to try and get better. Chat Noir had come such a long way, and Adrien had certainly been through far worse experiences than she had.

Marinette had to pull herself out of this.

For her friends. For her family. For Chat Noir. For Adrien.

For _herself_.

Deeply inhaling through her nose, Marinette focused all her attention on the solid ground beneath her hands. The world wasn't spinning. The ground wasn't sinking. She was outside on a quiet street, not in the middle of a fire. There was more to Chat Noir's betrayal than met the eye. It was something she was trying to get to the bottom of, and she needed to fight this off in order to finally find out the truth. She needed to be strong so that she could be there for Chat Noir. So that she could be there for Adrien. She wasn't going to give up on the both of them. She could no longer afford to give up on _herself._

Upon that thought, Marinette exhaled, pressing all of her weight onto the palms of her hands. She kept this up for what felt like an eternity, but in reality, it was probably only a few seconds. She was safe. She was on a street in Paris. All of that had happened years ago and it wasn't a part of the here and now.

 _In…and out. In…and out. In…and out._

As her breathing slowed and became more even, her mind finally began to slow down, and her brain no longer felt like it was spinning around at the speed of light. Her throat began to open up again and no longer felt like it had a rope tied around it. However, her stomach still felt awful. She felt like she could just pass out right there and then onto the street. Beyond exhausted, the temptation was certainly there. Her head was still pounding, and her throat still felt incredibly dry and raw from last night.

But passing out in the middle of the street would definitely be a bad move. A memory tried to push its way to the forefront of her mind due to that thought, but unfortunately, Marinette couldn't quite get a clear picture of it. She had a bad feeling deep within her gut that she was missing something important. That something had happened that her mind was blocking out.

But she was fine…right?

Pushing those fears and worries to one side for now, Marinette knew that she desperately needed to get home. She wanted to feel safe again. She wanted to just curl up in bed and pretend that yesterday had never happened. She wanted Chat Noir.

Feeling spurred on at the thought of Chat Noir, Marinette finally managed to look up from the sidewalk, suddenly remembering where exactly she was. What if someone had seen her? What if they thought she was some sort of crazy freak? Though to be honest, they wouldn't be far off the mark with that one. Collapsing here had been a very stupid thing to do. But as soon as she had stepped out of the Agreste mansion, all of her thoughts and emotions just came crashing down on her, pinning her beneath its intense weight.

Much to her relief though, the street was deserted. She had somehow made her way down some sort of alley between two homes. The alley was clean and well-lit, with tall concrete fences on either side, shielding the homes of the rich and powerful from view. Wow, she really was in the posh part of the city, she thought to herself.

She could still just about see the Agreste mansion peaking over the fence a few metres away, quiet, empty, and as soulless looking as ever. Had Adrien really locked himself away in there for that long? She was surprised that it hadn't driven him crazy. To live in the place where so many bad things had happened…

It didn't even bear thinking about.

He must have been so lonely and isolated. Marinette knew that he saw Nino, Alya and Chloé every once and a while, but that was hardly the amount of human contact that someone needed to stay sane. It almost reminded Marinette of herself. She had isolated herself away from the world, only going outside to go to school, and the one time she did go outside to meet up with Alya, it had been that fateful night where she had bumped into Chat Noir.

It really was beginning to feel like fate was messing around with her. The one night where she had ventured outside, she had bumped into Chat Noir, and the one night where Adrien decided to venture out, she bumped into him as well. It was all beginning to make Marinette feel increasingly weird.

Shaking off those thoughts, Marinette shakily pulled herself up back onto her feet, brushing some of the dirt off herself in the process. She was still feeling incredibly light-headed and nauseas, so Marinette fervently hoped that she could make it back home. What if Chat Noir was already there? What if he had noticed that she was missing and was beginning to panic?

As Marinette took her first step forward again, her knees and hands began to twinge, and that's when Marinette finally looked down and noticed just how much of a mess she was now in after her little episode a few minutes ago. Her tights had now been split even more, showing the skin of her knees which were now badly scraped and covered in blood. Her hands were red raw, with small stones and pebbles embedded in her skin from the force of her pressing them down onto the ground.

Great. That was all she needed.

Marinette tried to ignore the pain as she continued walking back home. She took as many back streets as she could, hoping to avoid the crowds so that she wouldn't freak anybody out. No doubt she looked like a crazy mess right now. Though Marinette certainly didn't particularly enjoy trying to avoid the huge piles of trash that were littered everywhere.

The streets were old and cobbled, not exactly the surface that was best for clumsy people wearing high heels. It slowed Marinette down, making her grow increasingly frustrated. Maybe she should have just taken the bus. But if she had done that, she likely would have wished that she had made her way home this way. At least this way, there were hardly any people around. The only people she occasionally walked past were other people taking shortcuts, as well as even some catacomb explorers looking for an entrance.

At last, Marinette could see her family's bakery in view. It looked fairly busy inside, though Marinette already knew that she was going to use the back door instead of walking through the shop. Her parents would likely panic if they saw her looking like this, and she was far from in the mood to be smothered and mollycoddled right now. She just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep. She could let her parents known she was home when she was looking less of a mess.

She couldn't believe that Adrien had done all of this for her. He had given her the perfect cover story so that her parents wouldn't worry. He didn't have to do all of this for her, yet he did. He had not only saved her from wandering around the streets drunk, but also helped save some of her dignity. Marinette's heart fluttered at the realisation that he was still the kind, caring and considerate person that she had fallen for all those years ago.

 _Snap out of it Marinette,_ she scolded herself, _you're not a thirteen-year-old girl anymore!_

The safety and comfort of her bed was now only about a minute away, and she couldn't afford to get distracted again. She shakily unlocked the back door before closing it behind her and locking it again. As soon as she stepped over the threshold, a huge weight finally slipped off her back, and Marinette could almost completely relax. She pressed her back against the door for a few moments as she tried to remain calm and reassure herself that she was safely back home.

The noise from inside the bakery was slightly intimidating. Her parents had long since given up on Marinette helping out in the bakery, which was starting to make Marinette feel extremely guilty. She used to love helping them out and working in there, but after everything, she couldn't even bring herself to get out of bed most days, let alone deal with a bunch of customers on a daily basis. She wasn't ready, and her parents seemed to understand that. They never pushed her, instead just expressing their concern. Marinette really didn't deserve her parents. She would have to figure out some way to make it up to them.

Her legs felt like lead as she trudged her way up the stairs and into the apartment. Now that she was finally home, she was finally beginning to realise how rotten she was feeling. Every muscle in her body was still aching, now with the added pain of her scrapes from earlier. She still felt like she could drink a whole lake, and her head felt like it was being squeezed between a vice.

She knew that she probably needed a bath, but she knew that she would definitely fall asleep in it if she did have one. Maybe she should get some sleep and then have one when she woke up. Plus, Chat Noir could be arriving at any moment if he hadn't already. She hoped that he got here soon, because all she wanted to do was curl up against him where she felt safe.

As soon as she made it inside the apartment, Marinette dashed towards the kitchen sink, not even bothering to grab a glass, instead just drinking the cool water straight from the tap. It did little to soothe her throat, and no matter how much she drank, she still felt incredibly thirsty.

Before her body could burst from all the water she was drinking, Marinette forced herself to stop, her already nauseas stomach now feeling bloated. Her bed called to her from the top of the stairs, and Marinette wasted no more time heading up there.

Her bedroom looked exactly how she had left it the night before, though her memories were slightly blurry and faded. Clothes were still strung everywhere and piled up on her floor. Shoes were scattered around everywhere, and the mirror was still where she had left it, revealing to Marinette just how awful she looked right now.

Her skin was pale and she had a thin layer of sweat coating it. Her mascara had stained under her eyes, making the tired, dark shadows look even worse. Her hair was a greasy mess, and her scraped and bloodstained knees weren't exactly the prettiest of sights either. Thankfully, it looked like they had stopped bleeding though, instead forming a dark red crusty surface over where she had damaged her skin. She would have to definitely get those washed later.

There was no sign of Chat Noir though, which made Marinette feel even more low than she already did – if that was even possible at this point.

Sighing to herself, Marinette threw her purse onto her desk chair, her phone popping out and falling onto the floor as she did so. Marinette gasped and quickly dashed over to pick it up before she sighed with relief when she didn't see any damage. Since she already had her phone in her hand, she checked her notifications again, and grew dismayed when she saw that she still didn't have any.

Weren't any of her other friends concerned about her? Wasn't…Alya concerned about her?

Marinette's heart sank at those thoughts. Did nobody care that she had gone missing? Hadn't Alya promised to keep an eye on her and never leave her side the entire night? What had happened? And how did she end up drunk?

All of these questions began swirling around in her mind again like they had done when she had woken up earlier. None of it was making any sense. But as Marinette tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together, her mind just kept drawing up a blank. The place where her memories from last should have been stored was completely empty, filled with an ominous and worrying nothingness.

Maybe she should try calling Alya to ask about what had happened. It was really worrying Marinette that she didn't remember anything after she had entered the club, and even the memories before then were incredibly blurry and episodic.

Despite how tired she was, Marinette now knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep if she didn't have the answers. So before she could talk herself out of it, she called Alya.

The phone continued to ring out, and just as Marinette felt like it was about to go to voicemail, a groggy voice finally greeted her from the other end.

"Hello?"

"Alya? It's me, Marinette."

"Oh," Alya flatly responded with, catching Marinette off guard. "What do you want?"

"Ummm…is everything okay?" Marinette asked worriedly.

"What do _you_ think?" Alya snapped back.

Marinette flinched. "What…what happened last night?"

"Oh come on, don't tell me you thought you'd get off the hook that easily?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You! Setting me and Nino up like that!"

"Huh?"

Alya groaned in frustration. "You're a terrible liar and actress, Marinette."

Marinette frowned. "Then you must be terrible at detecting lies and acting because I'm telling you the truth!"

Alya was silent for a few moments.

"You really don't remember?"

"No!" Marinette insisted, growing even more frustrated and scared.

"Well I don't know, girl, you disappeared not that long into the party," Alya finally gave her some semblance of an answer. However, it wasn't exactly the one Marinette was looking for – or hoping to hear.

"What…" Marinette squeaked out, trying hard to hold back tears. "Did…didn't you even wonder where I went?"

"I just figured you'd gone home."

Marinette squeezed her phone to a point where she almost felt like it was going to snap against the pressure.

"Wait…" Alya spoke again. "You don't remember anything? Does that mean you were drinking?!"

"Well…I…" Marinette spluttered out. "I…I don't know. I…I guess I must have been."

"Oh, so you'll drink with other people but you won't drink with me?!"

"Huh? What? Alya, no!"

"You really need to sort your head and priorities out, girl, because I'm really starting to feel like my thoughts and feelings don't matter to you," Alya growled out angrily.

"What?!" Marinette shrieked.

Alya sighed in frustration. "Call me back when you've finally decided to sort yourself out."

With that, the line went dead.

Marinette wasn't sure how long she stood there frozen in place with her phone still pressed against her ear. Her brain kept trying to process what had just happened, but it all kept get getting stuck. She just could not bring herself to make sense of the conversation she had just had.

How…how could Alya talk to her like that? How could Alya treat her with such contempt? Weren't they supposed to be best friends?

Not to mention, what was all of that about her setting Alya and Nino up? Had they had a fight last night? Is that why they had parted ways? Was Alya still angry at her over what she had apparently done last night? Had anyone else gotten involved? Had Marinette started drinking because she was stressed, upset and didn't know where else to turn? That didn't really sound like her, but it was the only logical explanation that she could think of at the moment.

"Hey there, _purrincess,_ " a voice suddenly purred from behind her.

Marinette yelped and twisted around so that she was facing her bed, her wide, fearful eyes locking with Chat Noir's playful green ones as he sat cross legged on her bed, grinning down at her. However, his playful demeanour soon vanished as soon as he realised how on edge and injured Marinette looked.

"Marinette! What happened?!" he yelled as he jumped down from the bed and began examining Marinette up and down. He grabbed hold of her hands and looked at them, and Marinette was unable to hide her wince of pain.

"It's alright, it's nothing," she tried to insist.

Chat Noir wasn't buying it though.

"What happened to you?"

"Oh…ummm…" Marinette chuckled awkwardly. "Just the usual."

"The usual?" Chat Noir raised an eyebrow, not seeming too keen on Marinette's sense of humour in this particular situation.

"I…I…" Marinette couldn't bring herself to force the words out.

What on earth would Chat Noir think of her? Would he think less of her over what had happened? Would he be disgusted at her behaviour? Would he think that she was stupid? Marinette certainly thought all of those things about herself. Not to mention, what would he think of her being rescued and taken in by Adrien Agreste? Someone that Chat Noir didn't know that well, who also happened to be the son of Hawkmoth, the villain who had clearly manipulated and abused Chat in some way.

But she couldn't lie to him either. There were already enough lies between them. Of course, Chat Noir would also easily see right through her. How could Marinette even begin to come up with some sort of story if she didn't remember anything?

Something quickly struck Marinette as odd though. He hadn't once questioned why she was still wearing her outfit from the night before. She had supposed to have been back at some point last night after all, even if it was early in the morning. Now it was the middle of the afternoon, so surely Chat Noir had noticed and thought that it was weird? Though maybe he was just more concerned about her cuts and bruises.

"I don't know what's wrong with me!" Marinette abruptly began to cry.

Chat Noir looked taken aback for a moment before he quickly wrapped his arms tightly around her. Marinette immediately buried her face in his chest, breathing in as much of his scent as possible. She felt so warm and safe in his arms. But she couldn't believe that she was breaking down on him… _again._ How was Chat Noir not sick and tired of her at this point? She was such a miserable burden and was undeserving of his help.

The sinking sensation consumed her again, and the air around her felt crushingly thick. Once again she was being dragged down into that deep ocean. She thought she had been getting better, but it just seemed to never stop. What was the point of even trying anymore if she wasn't going to get any better? Her determination from earlier soon vanish, being instantly replaced with doubt and self-loathing.

She became vaguely aware of Chat running his fingers through her hair, an action which soothed her slightly, but not enough to completely calm her down. At any moment, Chat Noir could decide to give up on her and leave her. She couldn't bear the idea of that happening. She couldn't imagine Chat Noir being out of her life now.

He…he was her everything.

She…she…she lo –

"There's nothing wrong with you, Marinette," Chat Noir spoke gently into her hair, interrupting her wild and intense thoughts.

"Then why do I keep getting myself into all of these situations?" Marinette questioned, her voice shaking with violent sobs. "Why can I never do anything right?"

"But you've done so many good things," Chat responded.

"Like what?" Marinette demanded.

"You've helped me for starters. You've helped save Paris from me, not to mention save me from myself," Chat Noir began to list.

"Yeah, but –"

"There were times when you helped during akuma attacks," Chat continued, "not to mention the countless times you've helped your friends. You stood your ground against me, against other villains, and whatever you've been through…you're pushing yourself through it. Nothing takes more strength than fighting a war against yourself, and believe me, I'd know all about that."

Marinette stared off to the side, tears blurring her vision as she remained silent. She balled her hand that was pressed against Chat Noir's chest into a tight fist, wishing that she could just throw her head back and scream. The secrecy was becoming too much for her. The truth felt like it was about to burst out of her chest, spread its ugly wings and carry her away into unknown and dangerous lands. The weight of it was crushing her, and every day, it felt like she had a heavy boulder chained around her neck that she constantly had to pull along behind her. She had been given the key to release the chain, but she had carried out the task for so long that she had been left crippled and deformed by the constant weight. What would be the point of unlocking that chain? The damage had been done. Why reveal the true extent and possibly make things worse?

But at the same time…

"But you don't know the things I've done…" Marinette whispered, her eyes unblinking and staring.

Chat Noir rubbed soothing circles on her back as he continued to stroke her hair. The steady rise and fall of his chest made Marinette feel even sleepier, and she could feel herself losing all control of her senses. She felt drunk. Chat's scent was intoxicating her, making her raw throat burn even more. Only now, he was her tall glass of icy water. Marinette was desperate for a taste, desiring nothing more than to press herself more against him, and her lips tingled, longing to become entangled with his.

"We've all made mistakes, Marinette," Chat spoke, snapping Marinette out of her thoughts. "I'm certainly no saint. I…I've handled things badly. I terrorised Paris. I thought that I could take the law into my own sick and twisted hands. I hurt people. I hurt _you._ I…I'm the reason Ladybug…"

Marinette could feel his grip on her tighten.

"I'm sure Ladybug would be happy to see you getting better," Marinette continued to whisper, still fighting against the overwhelming urge to blurt out the truth.

"I'm not so sure. She died hating me. I…I let her down…" Chat began to choke. "She died thinking that I…I…"

Marinette held her breath.

"But that's not important right now," Chat Noir's voice suddenly returned to normal as he quickly changed the subject, acting like nothing had just happened.

He pulled back slightly, much to Marinette's dismay and disappointment. She wanted to stay in his arms all day and for him to hold her. She feared if he wasn't holding her, then she might finally break apart and shatter into a million tiny pieces as small as a grain of sand. The wind would then blow her away, and she would never get to see the people that she loved again.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Chat Noir announced, and before Marinette could protest, he had disappeared.

However, he was only gone for around two seconds before he returned up the stairs with a small bowl of water, some tissues and what looked like antiseptic cream. Marinette had no idea how he had managed to find all of that so fast, but she quickly backed away when Chat Noir made it apparent that it was definitely _him_ that was going to clean her up.

Chat Noir quickly caught onto this fact and sighed. "Princess, you're in no fit state to be doing this yourself. Besides, I'm trained in first-aid."

Marinette was too tired to protest, so she sat down on her desk chair with a huff. Chat Noir rolled his eyes, but also chuckled at her childish behaviour. He then knelt down in front of her and dipped some of the tissue into the water. Marinette bit her lip as she watched, a tingle making its way up her leg as Chat Noir grabbed hold of it to hold her steady. All Marinette could do was grip the side of her chair, confused over the strange and intense feelings that Chat's touch produced within her.

She could feel the heat of his hands through her tights and through his gloves. It sent shivers up her spine, and for some reason, Marinette wanted more of this weirdly intimate feeling. It felt like it wasn't going far enough for her. Every inch of her body was screaming for more. It made Marinette's cheeks turn red, and all she could do was stare at Chat Noir's face. Another shiver ran up her spine at the sight of him sticking his tongue out slightly in concentration.

Though it wasn't long before Marinette was snapped out of her bizarre and infatuated thoughts by a stinging sensation shooting up her leg.

"Ouch!" Marinette cried out.

"Don't be such a baby," Chat Noir retorted with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Hey, it stings!" Marinette stuck her tongue out at him.

Chat Noir quickly turned serious again as he gently dabbed her scraped knee with the wet tissue. It stung again, but it wasn't so bad this time since Marinette was expecting it. She watched as Chat Noir managed to wipe away most of the dry blood that had stuck to her skin. The scrape was already looking much better, and looked nowhere near as bad as the pain had originally led her to believe. The graze was only thin and small, and looked like it would easily heal within a couple of days.

Finally, Marinette was all sorted as all of her scrapes had been cleaned up and disinfected. They still stung a little bit, but it was nothing that Marinette couldn't handle. By the end of it all though, she was beginning to struggle to keep her eyes open. The world around her was a blurry mess, and her bones suddenly felt like they were all made out of titanium.

"I bet you're exhausted after last night," she was vaguely aware of Chat Noir saying to her.

"Mmhmm," was the only response that Marinette could manage.

"We can talk more about it when you wake up," Chat Noir chuckled out as he helped her up onto her bed.

However, when he was about to pull away, Marinette grabbed hold of his wrist.

"Stay," she pleaded, her eyes now closed, yet she still held onto some small level of consciousness.

Marinette could feel a warmth engulf her as she finally relaxed her entire body, her mind finally losing its grip on the conscious world. The pain of her body disappeared and she was instantly weightless and floating through a peaceful void. It was a pure nothingness, and Marinette at last felt like she was free to rest. Her head felt dizzyingly heavy, but it wasn't exactly an uncomfortable sensation.

It wasn't long before the dark void was interrupted by something red in the distance. Curious, Marinette floated closer towards it for a closer look, but she soon wished that she hadn't.

Tikki floated in front of her, and Marinette gasped, instantly freezing in fear and confusion. It looked like Tikki's eyes were staring right through her, and Marinette tried to reach for her beloved kwami, but a powerful force held her back, preventing her from moving any closer. Tikki's mouth moved like she was speaking, only no sound came out. It almost looked like the little kwami was chanting something. She was looking a lot stronger than normal, and Marinette longed for nothing more than to be able to touch her again.

"I'm so sorry, Tikki," Marinette began to cry. "This is all my fault."

Tikki continued to silently speak.

"Why did you have to do it, Tikki?" Marinette sobbed. "Why did you have to save me? You should have just let me die that night like I should have."

Tikki shrank, her blue eyes widening in panic as the rest of her body looked like it was growing weaker.

"I don't know what to do, Tikki. I don't know what any of this means!"

Marinette's voice echoed around in the dark void.

"I feel so lost," Marinette admitted. "You sacrificed everything that you had for me, and now I'm failing to return the favour. I tried though, Tikki, I really tried. Even Master Fu didn't know what to do. There's never been anything like this is the history of the miraculous, he said, so how am _I_ of all people going to find some way to fix this?"

Tikki shrunk again, causing Marinette to squeak in fear. The little kwami began to lose all of her colour and light. Marinette tried to reach forward and grab hold of her, but it was too late. Tikki had vanished, and now she was all on her own again.

But the darkness didn't surround her forever. Soon, bright lights were shining above her, almost blinding her and baking her in their intense heat. The air was thick and warm while also smelling strongly of alcohol. She was sat at a table facing a man that she did not recognise, yet also seemed strangely familiar, like she had indeed seen him before. She turned to face Alya who was dancing with another strange man.

She felt…really weird. She felt drunk, but the half-drunk orange juice in front of her indicted to her that she hadn't been drinking. All of this felt eerily familiar. A panic began to rise up inside her as she felt like she was trapped inside her own body. She couldn't move of her own free will. She kept sitting and facing the strange man with dark hair and piercing blue eyes.

Powerless, Marinette could do nothing as she felt herself beginning to lay down on the couch that surrounded the table. The hot leather felt sticky against her skin, and all Marinette wanted to do was run. All of her instincts were screaming at her that something bad was about to happen, but there was nothing that she could do to stop it.

Her vision began to blur, and her head began to spin. Everything sounded like it was underwater, and Marinette began to feel like she was sinking again. The ceiling above her looked much higher than it did before, and everything seemed to morph and become much larger than it had originally appeared. The face of the man who had been sat in front of her appeared in view, and he stared down at her with a look in his eye that Marinette didn't like.

It made her feel incredibly uncomfortable. It made her feel…naked.

There was no humanity in his eyes, only pure feral and evil lust. He looked more like a wild beast than a person, and his eyes shone dangerously as he continued to stare down at her, like she was his prey that he had pinned to the couch.

Paralysed, Marinette could do nothing as he traced his hands over her body, making her feel like she wanted to throw up. Every inch of her body that he touched now felt tainted, and that no amount of showering or bathing could remove the filth that was now polluting her body. She felt dirty. She felt like an object. She felt powerless. She felt small. She felt disgusted with him, and with herself for letting this happen.

His hand continued down to her thigh, pushing up her dress as it crept ever closer towards her –

And that's when Marinette woke up screaming.

* * *

 **Yeah…this chapter sure was a hard one to write for obvious reasons. But I finally managed to power through and I hope that the wait was worth it for you guys. My heart goes out to all of those who have been through similar experiences, and please remember that it's okay to reach out and talk to people about it. It breaks my heart when people tell me how much they relate to this story and the characters' struggles.**

 **Also, just a quick notice. I've had some people asking me about possibly translating this story into other languages. I'm totally okay with people doing this, just as long as I'm credited as the original author, and that you let me know so that I can include links for the people who may be struggling to read this English version. You also don't need my permission to make fan art of my work. All I ask is that you send me the link so that I can have a look at your awesome work! I include any and all art people make for me on my Twitter, Tumblr and blog, with the name of the artist of course, and links to your account you posted the art onto.**

 **Anyway, feel free to let me know your opinions as feedback always helps me out. This story will now hopefully be updated every Saturday since I had way too much going on during Fridays, so it was stressing me out a lot. This chapter would have been up yesterday, but yeah, the whole anxiety attack thing kinda happened so…yeah. I hope that you guys are all okay and that you have a good week. See you again soon!**


	35. Three Steps Back

**There I go again vanishing for a few weeks. Things have been so hectic lately. I'm starting a new job soon and my routine has been all over the place, often leaving very little time for me to write lately. But I'm hoping that now I'm starting to slowly sort myself out, updating will soon be at the normal rate of once a week. Thank you guys so much for being patient with me and for leaving me awesome reviews!**

* * *

 **Chapter 35: Three Steps Back**

Though Marinette's eyes were now open, all she could see was the grinning face of Léon. His face contorted to a point where he didn't even look human anymore, his creepy smile growing impossibly wide as his eyes scanned her hungrily. In that moment, Marinette felt naked and completely vulnerable again, letting out another scream as she pulled the covers more over her body in a feeble attempt to try and protect herself.

She could still feel his hands all over her. It was like they had grown out of her mattress, pinning her down to the bed and groping her. Each touch left a dirty imprint on her skin that she would never be able wash off. She had become tainted. She was filthy. She was disgusting. She was nothing more than some quick and easy opportunity. She was ashamed of herself for letting something like this happen to her.

Léon's grinning face finally vanished when Chat Noir leaned into her line of sight. She was back in her bedroom, far away from the man who had done this to her. Chat's eyes, instead of being full of malice like Léon's, were filled with nothing but concern and fear. The hands that were groping her disappeared also, being replaced by the warm and gentle touch of Chat Noir holding onto her shoulders, rubbing soothing circles into her muscle with his thumbs.

But no matter what, Marinette just couldn't get the image of Léon touching her out of her head. Chat's hands turned back into _his_ hands, and, feeling like she was about to be sick, Marinette violently lurched away from them, refusing to let any other human touch her. It sent a vile shiver down her spine that travelled into her stomach which began to churn it around and around. Due to that feeling, Marinette felt herself snap back into reality even more as her throat once again burned and begged for water. Her head was still pounding to a point where it felt like her brain was trying to break out of her skull.

"Marinette!" Chat Noir's voice sounded like it was deep underwater.

Marinette's ears rang as every sound was too much for her sensitive ears right now. Though everything sounded distant and muffled, it sounded very loud at the same time. It was like the sounds were coming from inside her own mind, screaming and shouting at her already overwhelmed brain.

"Marinette, it's okay, you're okay."

She was vaguely aware of Chat pulling her against him once again, and that's when Marinette realised just how heavily she was breathing. Her chest rose and fell rapidly against Chat Noir's more even breathing. His heart was beating just as fast as her own though, and Marinette began to feel suffocated and confined. She felt like she was trapped, once again pinned beneath Léon as he attacked her.

"No! Get off me!" Marinette yelped, struggling her way out of Chat Noir's hold on her.

Realising that she was being deadly serious, Chat Noir let go of her, looking shocked, worried and hurt over her actions. He kept his distance, watching as Marinette began to try and calm herself down. _She was home and she was safe. She was home and she was safe. She was home and she was safe. She was home and she was safe._

But it seemed like no matter how many times Marinette chanted that simple fact to herself, the more frightened and confused she became. Had all of that just been one horrible nightmare? It all felt too real to be a nightmare though. It felt more like a memory. Like…like Marinette had actually experienced what she had dreamed about.

No. No surely she would properly remember an experience like that.

After all, the brain couldn't just delete things like that.

Could it?

No.

She had woken up with a hangover, so she had obviously been drinking that night, and in her dream, she didn't drink any alcohol. Yet…why did she feel so drunk in the dream? Why had that strange feeling of euphoria washed over her, leaving her at that man's mercy? If he had spiked her drink with alcohol, then Marinette knew that she would be able to taste it. Her friends would have noticed and stopped anything from happening. Despite Alya being mad at her, Marinette knew that she would never let anything bad happen to her, no matter what Marinette had done to upset her. Not to mention, Alya had seemed so certain that Marinette had been drinking that night.

No matter how much Marinette tried to convince herself that it was all just a dream, she couldn't shake that nagging feeling from the back of her mind. It whispered in her ear, telling her that all of that had really happened. But…but how? None of it was making any sense.

"Marinette?" Chat Noir tried again.

Once again, Marinette didn't answer. She stared downwards, her mind unable to register the physical world around her, instead seeing nothing but broken and blurry images of the party before being led away. Her heart sank further and further, growing increasingly heavy as it melted through her abdomen, reaching the mass of a dying star. It almost felt like she was floating through space right now. Nothing around her was feeling real. It was like she was trapped inside her own mind, at the mercy of whatever her body planned to do next.

Her fingers gripped her sheets, wishing that she could fold them over herself and disappear forever. Her skin continued to crawl, as if a million small spiders were running across every inch of her body. Why did her life have to have come to this? At this point, it really felt like the universe was trying to push her over the edge.

Marinette drew in another shaky breath, a single tear finally cascading free from her eye. She was vaguely aware of a warm leather covered hand gently wiping it away, but Marinette just couldn't bring herself to react. It was like she had been turned into a statue. Strangely, she had no problem with the idea of being frozen here forever. She didn't want to move. She didn't even want to blink.

She was a disgusting and vile person.

"Marinette, please," begged Chat Noir, "say something!"

Marinette gulped, her dry throat stinging as she did so. She slowly began to flex her fingers, realising that she wasn't a statue. She had control. She wasn't trapped inside her own mind. She was in her bedroom and Chat Noir was right by her side. She was safe.

"I…I…" was all Marinette managed to croak out, her voice barely audible.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Chat Noir tried to encourage.

He slowly and carefully began shuffling himself towards her again, taking extra caution and watching her reaction so that he wouldn't scare her again. Marinette didn't move. She wanted nothing more than to feel Chat Noir's arms around her, but at the same time, she was terrified of feeling that disgusting and scary feeling again. The mere thought of being touched by anyone right now almost had Marinette freaking out again.

"I don't know…" Marinette admitted.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Chat Noir asked, still very slowly shuffling his way towards her.

"I think it was a nightmare…I _hope_ it was a nightmare…"

"Marinette, you're not making much sense." Chat Noir finally wrapped his arms around her shoulders again, hunching over her small form as if he was trying to act as a shield.

Despite the urge to rip herself out of his hold, Marinette forced herself to remain still, constantly reminding herself that it was Chat Noir, and he wasn't going to hurt her. If all of that had been a nightmare, then why was she reacting as strongly as she was? Her nightmares, although terrifying, were usually always quickly forgotten about; she was used to them. This was something entirely new.

"It was last night…" Marinette tried to explain as best as she could, her eyes completely unfocused as the blurry images of dancing drunk people raced across her vision.

Lost inside her own mind, Marinette barely registered the feeling of Chat Noir stiffening next to her. But a part of her was curious as to why. Did he know something that she didn't? Where had his mind wandered to in order to cause such a reaction? Maybe his mind was automatically assuming the worst? Maybe Marinette shouldn't tell him. She knew that he would only freak out, and if what she had dreamed about was in fact fake and made up by her own sick mind, then he would get worked up over nothing.

"What about last night?" Chat seemed to ask through clenched teeth, his grip on her shoulders tightening as he leaned further over her, almost like he was getting ready to pin her down and lay down over her.

Marinette's throat closed up, rendering her unable to speak any further. She wanted to tell him, but at the same time, she was terrified. All of this could be for nothing. It could just be her mind playing tricks on her. Another cruel fantasy to try and pull her back down into the dark void she had been trapped in over the past few years.

Still though, the strange visions continued to make her skin crawl, so much so that Marinette couldn't resist the urge to scratch at the skin of her wrist. Her skin felt slimy, like it was covered in the most fowl goo that she would never be able to wash off. It left her feeling even more trapped and breathless, and her throat constricted even more as she began to panic again.

Every time she felt like she had taken a step forward, she soon found herself taking three steps back. Her nightmare was threatening her small progress. No matter how much she wanted to keep it bottled up, she knew that she couldn't keep it from Chat Noir. She already had enough secrets she was keeping from him without adding more to the already unstable and toppling pile. Marinette had so much locked away inside herself that every second of every day she felt like she was about to explode.

Who knows, maybe Chat Noir's reaction might surprise her? He had already been so supportive over so much, even though Marinette had done nothing to deserve it. He might reassure that what she had just seen and felt was just a dream. It might help put her mind at rest.

"I had a dream about last night," Marinette finally spoke, albeit with a shaky voice, "and I'm not too sure whether…whether…whether it might have actually been a memory…"

Chat Noir still didn't relax. "What do you mean?"

"Well, in my dream, I was sat at a table and everyone was dancing and having fun. Only I was sat alone with this man who I'm pretty sure I've never seen before," Marinette tried her best to explain. "But everything did seem fairly normal until I all of a sudden started to feel really weird."

This seemed to catch Chat Noir off guard slightly as his expression and tone turned into one of confusion. "Weird how?"

"I'm not sure…it's hard to describe." Marinette frowned, her hands shaking at the thought of the feeling that had suddenly washed over her in her dream.

"It's okay, just take your time," Chat reassured her, brushing back a stray stand of hair that had been clinging to her sweat covered forehead.

Marinette took a deep breath, forcing herself to relive that terrifying feeling. The urge to run and hide from such thoughts nearly overpowered her, pushing against her like a powerful wrestler. Marinette pushed back this time, refusing to be knocked out of the ring. Her arms ached, her mind was buckling under the strain, and her feet burned against the friction of the ground. She continued pushing against the evil, grim, cynical and haunted version of herself as it kept trying to prevent her from accessing her memories.

This time, Marinette would not back down. She would not take three steps back. She would push forward, even if it meant just one small step at a time. This time, she wouldn't give up. She would try and face what she had been through. No matter how much pain and fear it caused, there was now a light at the end of the tunnel in the form of Chat Noir, and the promise of feeling better afterwards after having gotten all of the pain out of the way.

It felt like she was working against the force of gravity itself. It felt like there was only so much she could press onwards as the force clung onto her, threatening to snap her back to where she had started. The force was so strong that Marinette might as well be trying to escape from a black hole.

But she had to try. She had to fight back.

Without even realising, Marinette closed her eyes and bit her lip in concentration. Though it terrified her, Marinette forced herself to remember her dream and the way she had felt while sitting at that table with a man she seemed to believe was called Léon. His bright blue eyes bore into her, even though he was nothing more than an image in her mind. It felt like he was right in front of her again, watching her and analysing her, as if he was a coiled snake waiting to strike with its venomous fangs.

The bite never came. The attack never came. He had remained sitting still in front of her as Marinette remembered she had been sipping on a glass of orange juice. After watching Alya for a little bit longer, that's when Marinette realised she had started to feel funny. She didn't know what it was or where it had come from, but she felt like she had finally figured out a way of describing it.

"I just…I felt so relaxed," Marinette began to try and finally explain. "Like I was floating in some sort of cloud and I felt really…happy."

"Happy?"

"Yeah. But I also felt really weird and like everything was all a dream. I could barely understand or react to anything that was going on around me," Marinette continued. "It's what I imagine being drunk must sometimes feel like. And I did wake up with a hangover, so maybe I did get drunk at some point and my memory of last night is just mixing itself into my dream?"

"Maybe…" Chat didn't sound too convinced. He also sounded incredibly worried.

"What?" Marinette questioned, becoming really worried herself.

Chat Noir sighed before looking at Marinette directly in the eyes. This took her off guard, and she shivered under his intense gaze before forcing herself to focus. She didn't like the almost accusatory look in his eyes either. He looked slightly suspicious and on edge. It made Marinette worry even more, as he was obviously thinking that she had maybe done something wrong.

"Marinette, you didn't…you didn't take anything…did you?" Chat asked slowly, seemingly trying to keep his voice as calm as possible.

Marinette frowned in confusion. "Like what?"

"You know…like…" Chat Noir seemed to be choking on his own words.

That's when it finally hit her.

"You mean, like, drugs?" Marinette pushed herself away from him and glared at him.

"It would certainly explain the weird feeling," Chat tried to argue. "Look, I'm not judging you or anything, it's just that most stuff like that is illegal and dangerous, and I don't want you getting into some kind of trouble. I'm only trying to protect you and get to the bottom of things."

"I can't believe you think I would ever take drugs!" Marinette yelled in outrage.

"That's not what I'm saying, it's just that your symptoms –"

"Wait wait wait!" Marinette interrupted. "This is just what happened in my dream, remember?"

Chat sat in silence for a few seconds, now all of a sudden refusing to look her in the eye. Marinette raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously. Maybe he really did know more than he was letting on? But how? If he had been watching her that night, then he would have taken her home when she had begun wandering around the streets in the middle of the night. Instead, it was Adrien who had looked after her and taken her to safety.

"S-sorry," Chat finally spoke again, "I…I guess I just assumed that your memory might have been returning from last night."

"But…" Marinette glanced down in confusion, beginning to feel like she was going crazy. "But I never told you that I couldn't remember most of that night?"

"You did." Chat said rather bluntly and with a degree of force.

"No, I'm pretty sure I didn't."

"You…you were really sick when I arrived here, Marinette," Chat rushed to explain. "You probably just don't remember telling me."

Marinette furrowed her eyebrows. She couldn't really argue with that one. But she was so sure. She could have sworn that the only person who knew she had amnesia was Adrien. Unless Chat Noir had been spying on her that morning? But how would he have found her? There was no way that he would have been able to figure out that she had stayed with Adrien Agreste. Maybe she really did have it wrong and she had told him when he arrived. In the end, that was really the only logical explanation.

She quickly shook her head to snap herself out of those confusing thoughts, focusing back on the previous argument. "I can promise you that I didn't take any drugs. I would never do such a thing. I didn't even want to get drunk, but drinking was the only thing I suppose I was peer-pressured into. Surely if I had taken drugs, I would know about it?"

"And you didn't leave any of your drinks unattended?" Chat continued to interrogate her, which was getting rather annoying at this point. Marinette understood that he was just trying to help, but still…she had no idea that Chat had such little faith in her.

"No, I'm pretty sure I didn't," Marinette replied. Besides, even if she had, it would have only have been for a few seconds, not nearly enough time for someone to slip something in there. And if something like that had happened, then surely Marinette would have been able to taste it? Not to mention there were hundreds of witnesses all around, so there was no way that someone would be able to get away with something like that. It was impossible.

Chat Noir sighed in defeat, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "Okay. I'm sorry that I accused you, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of your dream and what might have happened that night."

"It's okay," Marinette sighed out. "Who knows, since I was stupid enough to get that drunk, maybe I was stupid enough to take something?" She tucked her knees under her chin as she began to stare miserably out of her window.

"Don't talk like that," Chat Noir lightly scolded her. "I'm sure that we'll get all of this figured out. Maybe it was just all a dream – I hope anyway."

Marinette curled up into an even tighter ball. "Me too."

"Was that it? Did anything else happen in your dream that you want to talk about?" Chat Noir checked.

Marinette bit her lip again, thinking back to that feeling of someone's hands all over her, and the feeling of someone pinning her down to the ground. It gnawed away at her mind like a brain eating parasite, threatening to consume her and take full control. Her whole body seemed to coil in on itself, like a delicate flower closing itself up after even the lightest of touches. The feeling was wrong. Those hands shouldn't have been there, and now, she could feel herself closing in on herself again.

And there it was: three steps back.

Feeling defeated, Marinette knew there was no way that she would be able to talk about that part of her dream now. Because it probably was just that: a dream. Plus, after Chat Noir's previous reaction, she wasn't sure if she could face another argument and more shouting. All she wanted to do right now was rest. Rest and forget about that awful nightmare. At this point, Marinette really wasn't sure how much she could cope with.

The thought of her nightmare continued to itch at her skin, and Marinette once again began scratching at her wrist to maybe try and ease the sensation. _It was just a nightmare,_ she kept telling herself. She was with Chat Noir and nothing could hurt her. There was no way all of that stuff could have happened at the party. Someone would have noticed. Someone would have stopped it – especially her friends. They would never let anything bad like that happen to her.

Finally feeling a tiny bit better, Marinette sighed and stopped scratching at her arm.

"No," she finally answered before looking back up at Chat Noir.

That's when Marinette froze when she caught sight of the shocked, horrified and sympathetic look on his face. She followed his line of sight before her heart then came to a stop when she finally realised what he was staring at. During her mindless scratching, Marinette had pulled the sleeve of her jacket up, exposing the skin on her arm for the whole world to see.

The visible red scars travelling up her arm, some of them almost looking like little lightning bolts, as if her skin had been cracked, with other parts looking like a child had stuck reddish-pink play-doh against her pale skin. She looked a like a monster. An ugly, terrifying monster.

Gasping, Marinette quickly pulled the sleeve of her jacket back down, but she knew that the damage had already been done. Had Chat Noir connected the dots? Her mind began to race and her heart began to pound at that thought. Should she try and escape out of the window while he was still in shock? He didn't look angry, just…worried? But Marinette couldn't be too sure.

"Marinette…" Chat Noir finally breathed out, his voice squeaking like he had just watched someone kick a puppy.

Marinette remained frozen and silent.

"Your…your skin…is that what you've been hiding from me all this time?" he gasped out.

Marinette felt sick.

"Why did you feel the need to hide this from me?"

"I hide it from everyone," Marinette choked out, fighting back tears.

"Marinette…I'm so sorry…" Chat also sounded like he was on the verge of tears. "I had no idea…"

Trying to act as tough and unbothered as possible, Marinette merely shrugged, trying to pass it off like it was no big deal. She was feeling slightly relieved that Chat Noir hadn't connected her burn scars to the fact that she used to be Ladybug. She felt relieved while at the same time also…disappointed? A selfish part of her almost wanted Chat Noir to figure it all out for himself so that she could unburden herself from all of this guilt, while at the same time not having to go through the hardship of admitting the truth to him. But in the end, Marinette still managed to convince herself that the lie was for the best. It was to protect herself and those she loved. Ignorance was bliss after all.

"How can you shrug?" Chat Noir almost sounded outraged at her behaviour.

"Because it's no big deal," Marinette snapped. "Yeah, I'm covered in scars, so what? I'm a terrifying monster, and I'm really ugly and no one else knows about them, no one except –" she quickly cut herself off.

"How could you think those things?" Chat whispered, his voice shaking with emotion. "You're not an ugly monster, Marinette, you're beautiful."

Marinette felt her cheeks turning red, but she remained unconvinced.

"No one would understand. No one would understand what I have been through," Marinette found herself beginning to rant, beginning to reach her breaking point. "They're ugly and they're horrible. All anyone would do is stare at me and think about how disgusting they are, and they'd be right. These scars are a representation of how much of a failure I am. Of how careless I was. Of how much I let people down. Of how much of an evil monster I am!"

"No –" Chat tried to protest before Marinette cut him off.

"Like you would understand anyway," Marinette huffed. "You come out of every battle unscathed. You don't have to deal with scars and losing everything."

"Oh really?" Chat Noir snapped, suddenly becoming angry.

"Yes, really," Marinette growled back, covering as much of her body as possible.

First Adrien and now Chat Noir. It was too much. No one was ever supposed to see. No one was ever supposed to find out. It would forever be one of her most haunting and embarrassing secrets. Master Fu had done all he could to heal her, but Marinette had stupidly left before her treatment could be completed. Now she was living with the consequences of that as well. Another heavy weight that she had to carry on her back for all eternity. She had done this to herself.

"You don't think I don't know what it's like to suffer? To be scarred by bad things that have happened?" Chat continued to snap at her.

Marinette's heart lurched, her temper instantly vanishing as she processed everything that she had just said to him. How could she be so thoughtless and heartless? Chat Noir had been through so much too. Yet here she was turning their suffering into some sort of sick competition. No one was better than the other. No one was _worse_ than the other. Trauma was trauma. It doesn't discriminate, and both Marinette and Chat Noir were victims. It wasn't some special badge that Marinette could use to excuse her behaviour and her treatment of others.

She needed to change. She needed to be better. She needed to get better.

"I'm sorry," Marinette finally whispered, her posture relaxing in defeat. "I just never expected anyone to find out."

"It's okay." Chat Noir pulled her in close, and Marinette allowed herself to fall limply against him.

It was getting to a point where Marinette didn't really have much energy anymore. She felt like she could sleep for ten years or maybe even longer. Her head felt hundreds of kilograms heavier than it normally did. Her mind was almost beginning to feel and sound like television static, unable to process a single coherent thought out of pure and utter exhaustion.

The feeling of Chat Noir's warmth around her certainly wasn't helping. For the first time today, Marinette was feeling relaxed. Chat Noir knew the truth about her scars. She didn't have to hide that from him anymore. Despite her scars, he still said that she was beautiful. That thought immediately heated her cheeks up again and sent a swarm of butterflies fluttering around her stomach.

Unable to stop herself, Marinette nuzzled herself further into Chat Noir's embrace, breathing in his comforting scent. She felt like she could stay like this forever. She closed her eyes and smiled a small smile as she wrapped her arms around his torso, pinning herself against him. He responding by squeezing her even tighter and burying his face in her hair.

But it wasn't long before her tears finally broke free and escaped.

"I'm so sorry, Chat," Marinette cried into his chest.

"What for?" Chat Noir chuckled slightly but still sounded concerned.

"Everything." Marinette pulled away to look at him. "And I mean _everything._ "

"Marinette, you've done so much for me." Chat Noir smiled gently as he played with a strand of her hair. "So you have nothing to apologise for."

"But I've treated you so horribly." Marinette sniffed.

"Yeah, and with good reason," Chat Noir said as he looked like he was inwardly cringing. "The way I behaved around you…some of the things I said…I can't believe that I turned into that…that… _creature._ You were right from the very beginning. Ladybug would not be proud of what I became, and she'd be happy that I've found someone who was willing to help me and stubbornly fight me, even when I didn't want to be helped. You saved Paris from me. You saved me from _myself._ "

The urge to confess began to overwhelm her again. It would be so easy. Just blurt the words out. _I am Ladybug._ It would put him out of his misery – only to then cause more misery. What was the right thing to do? Marinette was really confused and torn. It locked her in a permanent state of fear in which she continued to perpetuate the lie. Over and over again she lied. Everything about her was a lie. Her whole life was a lie. Her relationships were a lie. There was so much lying that Marinette was beginning to suffocate within it all.

She couldn't breathe.

"Hey, hey, shhhhh, it's okay," Chat Noir comforted her, pulling her back into another embrace.

Locked in autopilot, Marinette fell back against his chest, realising that Chat Noir must have been mistaking her heavy breathing for more sobs.

"It's going to be okay," he soothed, "we have each other now."

"Y-yeah…"

"And nothing is ever going to come between us."

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 **I apologise that this chapter is a little on the shorter side. I would have made it longer, but at that point, I would have just been pointlessly rambling. It took me a while to get into the swing of this chapter, especially since it was meant to be a small part of the previous chapter. But I felt like this part needed fleshing out a bit more. The planning for this chapter was all a bit last minute as a result, so I hope that it has turned out okay.**

 **I'm aiming for my next update to be this Saturday. A little two update in one week treat for you all since I haven't been updating as much, and because I'm going to be on a training course next week, meaning that I won't have time to write. Be sure to check my Twitter and my blog for update news (links in my profile). But in the meantime, feel free to let me know your thoughts in a review as it's always a big help. See you soon!**


	36. Atonement

**I'm back from the dead – again. The usual stuff as always: busy with real life and settling into my new job and all that jazz. Not to mention I had to re-write this chapter because I just wasn't happy with it at all, and I kept having to make a few alterations to the rest of the story because something wouldn't quite feel right. I am really sorry about the wait though, and thank you so much for your patience. Also, thank you for all of your amazing and helpful reviews! I really appreciate it!**

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 **Chapter 36: Atonement**

Warm water gently rippled against Marinette's skin as she sank further down into the bath, letting her muscles finally relax for what felt like the first time in years. The rising steam helped her to clear her mind as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back, enjoying the heat for once instead of running scared from it. The terrified part of her brain fought against her, begging her to run and that she was in danger. That she was back in the fire and needed to save herself.

But for once, Marinette ignored it. It could shout and scream at her as it much as it wanted to, but she wasn't going to move for the world. She had forgotten how much she loved the feeling of a hot bath, surrounded by sweet smelling bubbles and soaps. For once, she didn't feel like she was sinking. She was floating.

The anxieties from her previous conversation with Chat Noir were washed away with the water. Apologising to Chat felt like part of the crushing weight had been lifted off her chest. She could almost feel herself beginning to breathe freely again. Though his words haunted her and reminded her of everything she had to lose because of her terrible secret, Marinette tried to imagine that they too were being washed away from her by the water.

The rough and stormy sea had continued to transform into a tropical ocean that was carrying her away to a fresh start. She wouldn't tell anyone; she didn't have to. She could leave all of that baggage behind her on the old decrepit island, starting again on a new one, light and free. That Marinette was someone else. Ladybug was someone else. A mistake. A failure. An evil monster.

From now on, Marinette was going to try and make it up to everyone.

Chat Noir had helped her realise that. If he could change, then so could she.

Marinette relaxed even further, allowing the water to slowly engulf her hair, the burning water feeling like tiny pin-pricks against her skin. It made her scars twinge in memory, so Marinette took a deep breath, inhaling the comforting smells of home to remind her of where she really was; in the here and now. She was safe. She was home.

Memories of her nightmare began to fade away, further helping her to relax. It was just a dream. There was no way that anything like that could have happened. She was just having vivid nightmares as a result of getting too drunk and not looking after herself properly. She still felt slightly sick from the whole ordeal, though the hot bath was helping her some – of course at Chat Noir's insistence.

She wasn't sure how long they had spent just sitting together in silence, embracing each other tightly, each one seemingly determined to never let the other go. The guilt had continued to crush her, and Marinette wanted to savour every moment that she had with him to make up for lost time, and in case he should ever find out one day. But Marinette was determined to never let that happen. That Marinette was dead. Ladybug was dead. It wasn't exactly a lie, just a half-truth. Who knows what further misery the truth would cause? Marinette was doing everybody a favour. She would just have to make up for everything in secret. Maybe that way she could at least try to atone for everything that she had done.

Marinette raised her head back out of the water, opening her eyes again to stare at the tiled wall just in front of her. Her wet hair dripped down her back and she could feel the pops of tiny bubbles against her. It had been so good of Chat Noir to do this for her, though she felt bad that he felt like he had to look after her again. He had made this bath for her, ensuring that she spent some time relaxing and washing the stressful and eventful night off herself. She could swear that she could hear him banging around in the kitchen, and Marinette became worried that something else in her kitchen was going to explode.

As much as Marinette wanted to stay in this position forever, she knew that she couldn't. She was still feeling incredibly thirsty, and she was still determined to find out what exactly had happened last night. Maybe she should try calling Alya again?

A stab of pain hit Marinette in her chest at the thought of Alya. Just what had happened between them that night? Even so, how could Alya have let something like this happen? Marinette was just lucky that she hadn't come to any harm and that Adrien had found her in time. Who knew what creeps were lurking around in the night, just waiting to take advantage of any vulnerable young woman. Criminals had especially grown in confidence since Chat Noir was no longer patrolling the city at night.

It was a pretty frustrating catch twenty-two. Marinette didn't want Chat Noir out there hurting people, but at the same time, it did help keep crime levels low. With all of the stress that Alya and Nino were under, she doubted they could be at their height of concentration when defending the city.

Guilt once again began coursing through her veins. She should never have chosen them to wield a miraculous. How could she have inflicted that burden on them? But at that time, she didn't really care, choosing Alya and Nino because she trusted them, and she knew how much Alya loved superheroes. But had she just inflicted the same curse onto them? Were they reaching breaking point? She wasn't sure if Nino and Alya knew each other's secret identities, but what if their responsibility as heroes was the reason they were having issues?

Either way, Marinette was going to try and fix things. To the best of her ability anyway.

She should probably leave Alya alone for now. She clearly needed to calm down, and Marinette felt like she needed to get over her own hurt before being able to speak to her again. She was sure that Alya would never mean for any harm to come to her, but her journalistic obsession was reaching new levels to a point where she was taking her frustration out on the people that she cared about.

If only there was a way to help her move on from Ladybug…from what Marinette had done to her…

Shaking her head, Marinette slowly pulled herself out of the bathtub, making sure that she didn't catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She had already attempted to face her fear of heat, so that was definitely enough for one day. She wasn't sure if she could handle seeing her naked body on top of that. She had revealed her scars to Chat Noir, but that didn't mean that she still wanted to look at them herself.

That thought made it harder for her to breathe, but she pressed on, grabbing her towel off the floor and drying herself. The fresh linen also felt great against her skin, creating a cosy feeling that made Marinette feel safe and like last night was all one big nightmare. If only it was though. Upon leaving the bathroom, she knew that Chat Noir would likely start quizzing her on what happened now that she had calmed down and gotten some rest.

She supposed that she better dash to her bedroom and get changed while Chat Noir sounded like he was busy in the kitchen.

Sighing to herself, she slowly opened the bathroom door, listening carefully to try and pin-point Chat Noir's exact location in the apartment. She had been stupid not to take a fresh change of clothes in there with her. She could put on her dress from last night, but the thought had her recoiling in disgust, especially after she had just gotten herself nice and clean.

Marinette gulped as she peered down the hallway, just about able to see the back of Chat Noir's head. It looked like he was sat down on the couch. She could smell something from the kitchen, so she figured that he was probably waiting for whatever he was making to finish cooking. It was probably just toast or something easy like that, and it was certainly beginning to smell like that was the case. Her stomach both rumbled and recoiled at the same time, hungry, but unsure of whether or not she could handle it. She had barely managed to eat what Adrien had made for her, but knowing Chat, he was going to insist he eat what he had made for her as well.

Rolling her eyes, Marinette tip-toed down the hallway as quietly and as quickly as she could, making sure to keep a tight hold of the towel that was wrapped around her body. Luckily, her bare feet made it easier to creep around, but she also knew that while in his superhero form, Chat Noir possessed extra sensitive hearing. She just hoped she was quiet enough to bypass it.

However, she paused at the bottom of the stairs when she noticed that Chat appeared to be distracted by something. Gazing at the back of his head, she could only discern that he was staring at her family's bookcase. Was he just daydreaming, or was he actually staring at the bookcase? Because all that was on the bookcase was books, a few games and DVDs as well as a few family photos. Nothing really of interest.

She wondered what he was thinking about. He seemed pretty relaxed with his arms outstretched and resting on the back of the couch with one leg casually swung up to rest on his knee. He really must be daydreaming for him to not have heard her. Marinette just wished that she could see his face. She could just stand there at him and stare at him forever. It was good to see him relaxed again and like his old self. It was haunting, yet reassuring.

Marinette's heart felt like it was melting as she continued to stare at him. It melted down into her stomach, both organs mixing together into a warm goo that sent shivers of pleasure throughout her entire body. She wanted nothing more than to walk over there to be closer to him, and to be back in his arms once again, listening to the strong sound of his heartbeat.

At those thoughts, Marinette's heart instantly leapt out of her stomach, almost escaping out of her mouth. What was she thinking? For the first time, Marinette realised just how much these thoughts had been consuming her mind lately. The way she felt around him…it was something so raw and powerful that she just couldn't comprehend.

She had never experienced these feelings around anyone before. The only thing she could compare it to was when she had a crush on Adrien. Only this was something far more intense. It sent a rush of energy around her body, almost making her feel like she was about to explode. For the first time, Marinette allowed herself to acknowledge this feeling and allow the full force of it to take over her body.

It…it almost felt like…

NO!

Marinette quickly dashed back up to her room, still making sure to not catch Chat Noir's attention. She closed the door as quietly as she could behind herself before sitting down on top of it in an attempt to block out the rest of the world. As if somehow it would shut away her feelings and prevent them from engulfing her. But it didn't work. This feeling was embedded deep inside her, and there was no way that Marinette was ever going to escape it.

She…she…

She couldn't bring herself to even admit it in her own head. She just couldn't. It was impossible. It was something that could never happen. It was something that could never work. Yet here she was again, desiring what was completely unattainable and didn't make any sense at all.

It made Marinette want to collapse further down and cry. Tears began to burn at the back of her eyes as her already bruised and broken heart shattered into atoms. It was so unfair. Chat Noir was her friend. He had been her enemy. She had hated him for so long and now this? She was only just beginning to come to terms with everything that was going on, and now life wanted to throw more heartache at her?

Because she knew, no matter how much her heart yearned for him, she and Chat Noir could never be together. She didn't even know his real name. Didn't even know what he really looked like. Technically speaking, he was nothing but a stranger to her. A stranger who had hurt her in so many ways…but had then put her back together again. Had looked out for her. Had been there for her. Had saved her life. Who was downstairs right now, cooking – something he was not confident in – and it was all for _her._

Was the cruelty of the universe ever going to end? Was it even possible to feel so elated yet so devastated at the same time? It was like her heart and her brain were now engaged in a tug of war, each one fighting for control of her body and the actions she would take next. Her heart wanted desperately to let go. To float in this amazing feeling and give every part of herself to Chat Noir. Her mind was terrified though, determined not to get hurt again, understanding that this was something that could never work, as she didn't truly know Chat Noir, nor who he was. And she could never know. It was too dangerous.

Not to mention there was the crushing realisation that he probably didn't feel the same way about her.

Marinette's breath caught in her throat at that. It was something that hadn't even occurred to her until now. Of course Chat Noir didn't see her that way. He had been in love with Ladybug – he still was. He was still grieving for her. He probably likely never could love her. She was damaged goods. She was a pain to be around. She was unlovable.

Could she really put herself through all of that heartache? She knew how painful unrequited love could be.

Love…

 _Love…_

She loved him.

She loved Chat Noir.

She was _in love_ with Chat Noir.

In that moment, it was like everything finally made sense. It was like she had found a place in the world where she could belong. Within a split second, her heart had been pieced back together before soaring out of her body in a feeling of intense bliss and adoration. It wanted to fly towards Chat Noir and never leave his possession. It belonged to him now. Marinette's heart was no longer hers.

Now all Marinette's chest could do was throb and painfully wait for the new void to be filled with Chat's heart in return.

The feeling of someone pushing on the door below her startled Marinette, and she gasped before quickly jumping up off the floor, desperately clutching at her towel. Chat's head popped up as he climbed into the room, carrying a plate in his hand before his eyes finally met Marinette's. Both of their faces immediately turned bright red, and Marinette let out a loud shriek.

"Whoa!" Chat Noir gasped. "Sorry sorry sorry sorry!"

"Turn around!" Marinette yelled like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Err, yeah…right." Chat Noir quickly turned around, his face still a deep shade of red. His whole posture was completely stiff, and he held the large plate in his hands in a death-like grip, making the leather strain against his knuckles.

Meanwhile, Marinette felt like she was about to go into cardiac arrest. She wasn't sure how much more her poor organ could take after everything that had just happened. All of this chaos likely wasn't doing it much good. She certainly didn't like the idea of dying of a heart attack at the age of eighteen.

Her blood continued to pulse around her body, and every inch of her skin felt hot. She quickly looked down and let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding when she saw that she still had her towel wrapped safely around her. He hadn't seen anything, but still, the situation was incredibly embarrassing.

"Don't look!" Marinette warned as she fumbled around, trying to grab some clothes while keeping an eye on Chat Noir at the same time.

"I won't, I promise," Chat spoke quickly and breathlessly.

Marinette pulled on her clothes as fast as possible, tossing on some black leggings and usual sweatshirt before letting out a sigh of relief.

"Okay, you're safe now."

Chat Noir relaxed slightly before slowly turning around, his face still a little bit flushed.

However, Marinette couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. Her heart continued to race, yearning to leap towards him. She ignored the urge though, forcing herself to stand still and push those feelings to the back of her mind.

It felt so weird…to have been stood like that in front of someone else. Someone who knew about her scars. Someone who didn't judge her for them. No one had seen that much of her skin in years, yet she had been more concerned about accidentally flashing too much of her body for modesty reasons. She still wasn't sure how she felt about Adrien and Chat Noir knowing her secret, but it did make her feel slightly better to have finally told someone. To be reassured that they didn't make her as ugly as they made her feel. At least in their eyes anyway.

Chat Noir laughed awkwardly, snapping Marinette out of her thoughts.

"Sorry about that, I thought you were still having a bath." He looked so startled and worried that it almost made Marinette giggle. It seemed like he was more embarrassed about the situation than she was.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too. I forgot to bring some fresh clothes into the bathroom with me," Marinette apologised. "You seemed pretty lost in thought when I tried to sneak past. I honestly thought that you would have heard me."

"Oh…yeah…" He suddenly became more withdrawn as he looked down at the floor.

"Is something wrong?" Marinette immediately became concerned as she walked towards him.

"Hm?" Chat sounded like he just been snapped out of a deep thought. "Oh…no…"

Marinette frowned at him, not buying it.

Chat Noir sighed. "It's just seeing photos of you and your family, that's all."

Marinette's heart sank. "Oh…Chat…I'm so sorry…"

She tried to reach her hands out to him, but Chat Noir quickly shrugged and backed away.

"It's okay. Sometimes it just makes me wonder what could have been," Chat explained.

Marinette nodded in understanding, wishing that there was some way that she could help him. But as much as she wanted to, she couldn't wave a magic wand and bring his family back. If only she could think of something to say that would make him feel better. She wondered what exactly had happened to his family. Had they died? That was what it always sounded like. Marinette couldn't even begin to imagine how she would feel if she had no family. It only added to her guilt over the way she had been treating them these past few years.

"Anyway, enough about me, today is supposed to be about you so get back into bed!" Chat playfully ordered.

"Yes sir!" Marinette rolled her eyes as she gave him an exaggerated salute.

She didn't exactly want to stay in bed all day, but she couldn't bring herself to argue with Chat Noir either. She wanted to enjoy spending some time with him and she was tired of fighting. Spending time with him was the only way to ease her heart, despite how much it pained her that they could never properly be together in that way. She would just have to learn to be grateful and content with what she had. She would rather have his friendship than nothing at all, and in time, maybe her feelings for him would fade. Maybe she was just overly attached because he was the first person she had let inside her head. It wasn't a convincing argument though, and deep down, Marinette knew that this was the real thing.

She was completely and hopelessly in love with Chat Noir.

"Is there something on my face?" Chat inquired, making Marinette realise that she had probably just been staring at him weirdly.

She quickly blinked and shook her head before plastering on the most convincing innocent smile that she could. "No."

"So what were you staring at?" he asked with a hint of a smirk on his face.

"Me? Nothing."

"Are you _suuuuurrreee?_ " he teased, making exaggerated purring sounds.

"No – I mean – yes!" Marinette protested, balling her hands into fists as her face began to flush again.

"It's okay, I'm used to the ladies not being able to resist my _purrfection_."

Marinette rolled her eyes but was unable to fight the smile that was tugging on the corners of her lips. "Get over yourself, Kitty."

Chat Noir laughed. "It's nice to see you smile again."

"At the expense of what's left of my dignity!" Marinette couldn't help but laugh as well, grabbing a cushion off her bed and throwing it at him.

Chat easily dodged it. "Help! Animal abuse!"

"I'll give you animal abuse in a minute," Marinette playfully warned, finally turning to climb up onto her bed.

"Even when your loving kitty brings you food?" Chat pouted, gazing up at her adorably.

Marinette froze, her heart stopping before having to re-start itself as the word 'loving' left Chat Noir's mouth. The look on his face made her melt even more, and she had completely forgotten what they had just been fighting over. All she wanted to do was jump down into his arms and kiss those goofy, pouting lips. That would certainly shut up his teasing and maybe finally quench the thirst that had been building up in her for so long now.

But she couldn't.

So with a sigh, Marinette collapsed onto her mattress, allowing Chat Noir to jump up and sit next to her. He handed her a glass of orange juice which Marinette immediately guzzled down, still feeling insatiably thirsty for some reason. Within a split second, the glass was completely empty, and Chat Noir stared at her with wide, worried eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, sounding more concerned than before.

"Yeah, it's probably just all the alcohol," Marinette suggested.

Chat Noir handed her his own glass of juice, which Marinette gratefully took, only taking a small sip this time to try and conserve it as much as she could.

"Considering you said you got drunk last night, you really don't smell like alcohol," Chat pointed out.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Chat began explaining, "I would have thought that I would still be able to smell it on you. But I can't. Unless you were just drinking vodka?"

"I don't know, maybe I was?" Marinette said as she tried to force herself to nibble on the corner of a slice of toast.

Chat still looked really worried and unsure. "So what exactly happened last night?"

Marinette internally recoiled, really wishing that she didn't have to try and go through it all. Not that she could remember much of it anyway. But she also wasn't sure how Chat would react to Adrien. He freaked out when Nathaniel had tried to help her one time, so how was he going to react when he heard that she had spent the night at a guy's house who she hadn't seen in years? At the same time though, she didn't want to lie to him. Weirdly, it almost felt like she had cheated on him. But that was just silly. Of course she hadn't. Adrien was just an old friend, and she and Chat Noir weren't – and could never be – together.

"Honestly, I don't really remember much, and that's what worries me," Marinette began, unable to finish her food as she placed it back down on her plate, beginning to feel sick.

"It's okay, just tell me what you can remember," Chat gently urged.

"The last thing I remember was Alya and I arriving at the party. After that, everything is a complete blank. But from what I can gather, me, Alya and Nino seemed to have gotten into some sort of a fight and went our separate ways. And then…" Marinette paused, worried about admitting this next part to him.

"And then…?"

"And then this boy who I used to go to school with found me wandering around the streets alone. He took me in and let me spend the night in a spare room. The next thing I remember is waking up in the morning and he explained to me what happened and asked if I was okay," Marinette tried to paint Adrien in the best possible light to try and prevent any freak outs on Chat Noir's part. But she was telling the truth, and there was no way that she was going to let Adrien not have all of the credit for coming to her rescue. Who knows what could have happened to her if Adrien hadn't found her.

"And that's all you can remember?" Chat Noir checked, still looking worried.

"Yeah," Marinette replied before growing even more worried herself. "Why? Is there something I'm not remembering that I should be?"

"No no, it's okay, I just wanted to check and make sure," Chat said a little too quickly. "Good job that guy was there to look out for you."

Marinette smiled. "Yeah, he's one of the nicest people you could ever meet."

"Sounds like you really like this guy." Chat Noir smirked down at her.

"What? No!" Marinette protested, internally screaming.

This pretty much confirmed it for her now. Chat Noir wasn't interested in her. If he was, then why would he tease her about Adrien? She was glad that he didn't freak out, but at the same time, she had hoped that he might have done a little bit. Just enough to show that he cared and was concerned about her being alone in a house with another guy. Was it wrong of her to think like that?

"Okay, okay, I was only teasing," Chat chuckled. "I'm glad that he was there for you."

"Yeah." Marinette smiled despite her growing sadness. "Me too."

"I tried to call Alya before you arrived, but she was still really upset with me. I just wish I could remember what had happened so that I can put it right," Marinette continued, now growing slightly frustrated.

"Did they just let you wander out of the club on your own?" Chat demanded.

"No!" Marinette quickly protested before thinking for a moment. "I don't think so?"

Chat Noir began gritting his teeth, causing Marinette to panic.

"I'm sure they didn't mean any harm!"

"Why are you protecting them? They clearly didn't see the need to protect you!" Chat growled out, beginning to sound more and more like the monster that had prowled the city during the night.

Marinette grabbed hold of his arm in an attempt to calm him down. "I'm hurt by what happened, but I'm sure there was more to it! For all I know, I could have said something awful to them while in a drunken state. We don't know what really happened that night."

Chat froze before looking away from her.

The memories of Alya's words from earlier stabbed at Marinette's chest. The accusations, the venom in her voice, the way she acted like she didn't care…that just wasn't Alya at all. What exactly had happened? How could Alya have transformed this way? How could she have done what she had to Chat Noir a few nights ago? How could she have just left her at the party after promising to stay with her? What exactly was going on with her? Marinette wasn't sure if she could take the pain of all of this for much longer.

"Chat, please, I just want to forget that last night ever happened. I want to forget about the nightmare, and I want to stop dwelling on all the 'what ifs'."

Chat Noir sighed, finally relenting. "Okay. What matters is that you're safe and sound."

"Yeah," Marinette replied, images of her nightmare flashing in her mind, refusing to relent in their continuous harassment.

 _It was just a dream,_ Marinette began to reassure herself again. Just a vivid dream brought on by her intoxicated and exhausted state. Her mind was just putting together random images and they didn't mean anything. If something like that had happened, then Marinette wouldn't have forgotten about it. Someone would have noticed and done something. Alya and Nino definitely would have tried to help her, despite how angry they were with her.

Marinette quickly shook her head to dispel those thoughts. She didn't want to think about that now. She would deal with it at some other point when she felt ready. When her anger had faded. The last thing she wanted to do was anything rash, especially since she didn't know all of the facts. Anything could have happened for all Marinette knew. The whole thing could have been her own fault.

Sighing to herself, Marinette glanced at her clock, realising just how late it was becoming. Her parents would be shutting the bakery soon and would no doubt want to come and check on her. She hadn't seen them since yesterday, and she remembered that she hadn't exactly announced to them that she was home yet. What if they were growing worried about her?

But at the same time, she really didn't want to be parted from Chat Noir. She knew that she could just ask him to hide, but he too had a life to lead, and Marinette didn't want to selfishly deplete him of that just because she couldn't bear to be away from him. If she was ever going to try and get better from this, she had to learn to stand on her own two feet and not depend on Chat Noir for everything. She had already taken three steps back today, but now she was determined to take at least one step forward and atone for what she had done.

"As much as I don't want you to, you should probably get going," Marinette announced before quickly adding, "only for a few hours though."

"Awww, I was hoping I would get to see you in a towel again." Chat leaned down to purr in her ear.

Marinette's cheeks instantly grew hot. "Chat!" she shrieked.

Chat Noir laughed. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. You're just so easy to torment."

"Not funny," Marinette huffed.

"Hey, come on, it's good to look back and laugh." Chat Noir continued to chuckle. "Sometimes it's the only thing that gets you through life."

"I guess…"

"And hey, I didn't see anything, I promise. I was just as shocked as you. This wasn't some pre-planned, perverted scheme," Chat promised.

Marinette stuck her tongue out at him. "It better not have been!"

Chat smirked at her, before leaning forward and gently kissing her cheek as close to her lips as possible. Marinette froze and her eyes widened in shock. Her heart came to a sudden halt in her chest as her lungs also stopped working. She didn't even blink as Chat Noir raised his head again, a playful smirk still on his face as he winked at her.

"Try not to get into any more trouble, princess," he purred. "I'll see you later."

With that, Chat Noir disappeared out onto her balcony, no doubt then taking off into the city. All Marinette could do was remain frozen as the heat of Chat Noir's lips remained on her cheek. Electricity buzzed through every cell in her body, making Marinette jerk forward with a gasp as she finally unfroze. Her heart re-started again, hammering away in her chest and begging for more, addicted to the adrenaline of the whole thing. The thrill of being teased coursed through her veins, and Marinette really wasn't sure exactly what was coming over her.

Whatever it was, she wanted more.

So much more.

Forcing herself to snap out of it, Marinette decided that moving around would help her start to feel better. Sitting around certainly wasn't doing her any good and would likely only lead to her dwelling on things. She was surprised that Chat Noir had left without much of a fight. Normally he was so obsessed with being around her that she couldn't shake him off. But now that Marinette wanted him to put up more of a fight and constantly have him around, he was totally cool with giving her some space when she had to begrudgingly ask for it.

"Marinette? Are you home?" Sabine called up from below, startling Marinette.

"Errr, yeah, I'm up here, mom!" Marinette called back.

Her bedroom door opened, and Sabine poked her head inside.

"Marinette? What happened? You look exhausted? Have you only just got back from Nino's?" Sabine lightly scolded, but just seemed more relieved to see her daughter safely back home.

"Errr, yeah," Marinette lied, unsure of what else to say. "I didn't sleep too well, but I think I just need some fresh air or something."

"How was the party? Did you have fun?" Sabine asked, no doubt glad that Marinette had finally gone out and done something.

"Oh, yeah…it was great," Marinette said as she cringed internally. "I think I'll go get some fresh air now."

She began climbing down from her bed and heading towards her bedroom door. Sabine smiled and opened the door wider for her so Marinette could slip past. However, once Marinette was stood next to her mother, she paused before staring into her mother's kind grey eyes. A concerned expression instantly formed on Sabine's face as her daughter stared at her, and the guilt felt like it was going to tear Marinette's chest apart at any second.

Fighting back tears, Marinette leaned forward and placed a kiss on her mother's cheek before pulling her into a tight embrace. Sabine seemed startled and confused at first, but quickly wrapped her arms around her daughter, and the two of them stood there like that for a few seconds.

"I love you, mom," Marinette whispered into her shoulder.

"I love you too, sweetheart," Sabine responded, embracing her daughter even tighter.

Marinette pulled away and offered her mother a small smile. "I think I'm gonna go get that fresh air now."

"Okay, honey," Sabine replied with a confused yet happy smile. "Don't come back too late though, and be careful."

"I will," Marinette promised before heading down the rest of the stairs and out of the front door.

She didn't bump into her dad on her way out which was a little bit odd. In fact, she couldn't see him anywhere. Had he left to get some supplies? That was probably the most likely reason for his absence, so Marinette didn't think too much about it, finally reaching the fresh air of the outside world.

It felt great against her face, cooling off the traces of heat that Chat Noir had left behind, finally allowing her to clear her mind some more. The afternoon was beginning to give way to the evening, and the autumn leaves blew around Marinette's head before soaring up into the sky upon a sudden gust of wind.

The city seemed so normal. Everyone was carrying on as normal. It was like Marinette's vision had suddenly zoomed out slightly, allowing her to see more than the thick fog that had previously been clouding her eyes. The world was always moving on, whether Marinette could keep up or not. It was time that she stopped digging her heels into the dirt and allowed herself to fly away with the leaves.

It was time she took some form of action rather than repeating these words in her head over and over again.

Looking down, Marinette slowly placed one foot in front of the other, beginning to walk down the street on her own for the first time in forever. It felt strange, almost like the last four years had never happened. To the people around her, they hadn't. While Marinette was suffering a torment that felt like it was lasting forever, there were other people leading very different lives to her. The world continued on like it always did.

It was jarring, but helped remind Marinette of the bigger picture.

She quickened her pace, enjoying the feeling of the breeze through her hair. Every instinct in her body was telling her to run back into her house and hide. She wasn't ready. But of course she wasn't ready. She was never going to be if her anxieties had anything to do with it.

Instead, Marinette focused on Chat Noir, and how proud he would be of her in this moment. She imagined him hopping from lamppost to lamppost above her, teasing her with his puns and flirtatious comments. But all the while, he would be encouraging her. He would smile down at her with that playful smirk that Marinette had now come to love so much. His image in her mind helped her fight back any fear that was threatening her resolve.

She hadn't even intended to do any of this, she had just done it. Because this shouldn't be a task that required too much thought. This was everyday life. The world would continue on with or without her, but Marinette was determined to spin with the earth once again. She would catch up.

Chat Noir had inspired her.

Another old friend of hers had inspired her.

Walking further through the streets in determination, Marinette knew that it was time she provided him with the same kindness he had shown her last night.

* * *

 **Eeeek! I've been so excited to get to this part of the story! I don't think I transitioned to this part as well as I could have and I'm not one hundred percent happy with the quality of the past few chapters, but here's hoping that improves from here on out. So yeah, please feel free to let me know your thoughts and opinions in a review as it always helps me out. I'm hoping to get back into updating once a week again, and I know, I know, I've said all that before – and that – but this time, I'm really determined. Especially since we're approaching the final third of the story.**

 **In other news, I've now created a DeviantArt account for myself so that I can keep fan art that people make of my stories all in one place. I'm still trying to locate a few, so if you don't see yours in there, please link me to it and I'll be sure to include it. That goes for any potential future fan art as well. I'll also probably be posting some of my own crappy artwork as well, and in general, it's a place where you can talk to me and see information and art about my stories.**

 **Also, to those who have been providing me with constructive criticism, you really don't need to apologise and worry about my reaction. I always welcome and greatly appreciate it! It really means a lot to me that you care so much about my story and want to offer advice to help me improve as a writer. That's what I'm on this site for: to improve my skills. As long as you're not rude or blatantly insulting me, I don't have a problem at all. Analyse and pick everything apart as much as you want. Though one thing I will disagree with is that Marinette in this story is a self-insert, or that I'm projecting myself and my feelings into her character. I'm really not. Marinette in this story drives me crazy and I just want to give her a good shake sometimes. The only time I guess you could considering me 'projecting' is when I'm describing what anxiety/panic attacks and depression episodes feel like. I really hope that the story doesn't come across as me self-inserting as that's totally not the case. I am sorry if it's poorly written in that regard and just let me know what I can do to improve if that is the case.**

 **Anyway, sorry for the long author's note, I just had a lot that I wanted to talk to you guys about in this update, especially since I haven't been updating properly in a while. See you soon!**


	37. An Unexpected Visitor

**Screw real life. I just wish that I could do nothing but sit and write all day. That would be so amazing. So yeah, I've been super busy again, not to mention ill, so that once again delayed me updating. I'm covering for three people at work at the moment which is a nightmare, but I mean hey, more money. I just wish that I had the time to write lately, because ugh this story should have been finished by now. Quite a while ago actually.**

 **But anyway, thank you so much for being patient with me and for all your messages and reviews of support. Thank you for letting me know your opinions on the story as it always helps me out a heck of a lot. Even if your review just has, like, one word in it or something. I'm surprised that I actually still have readers considering how much I've been going AWOL lately. So yeah, thank you for sticking with me. It means a lot.**

 **Also quick note: sorry for that stupid continuity error that I made. I must have ended up confusing myself and not checked things properly. It's a good job it wasn't anything important lol. But I've got it fixed now.**

* * *

 **Chapter 37: An Unexpected Visitor**

The exhaustion hit Adrien as soon as he made it back into his bedroom, diving through the window before releasing his transformation. Immediate relief filled him, and it was like a huge weight had been lifted from his chest. However, his heart continued to beat erratically in panic. He couldn't bring himself to move from the crouched position he had landed in on his bedroom floor. He was too scared to. Scared that any sudden movement would set something off inside him. Something that he was trying so hard to keep buried.

Thoughts bombarded his brain in a kamikaze attack, and the room around him began to spin violently. Adrien slumped forward slightly, desperately trying to fight off all of these confusing feelings. They had consumed his brain from the moment he had left Marinette's room, the intense pull on his chest that begged him to return only further worsening his inner turmoil. As soon as he had left Marinette there, that terrifying feeling had also begun fighting for control of his mind. The unbearable, feral urge to destroy everything and everyone in his path.

Red rage had almost blinded him as he had leapt across the city buildings. Thinking about everything that…that _monster_ had done to his precious Marinette only incited it even more. His claws ached, and his teeth clenched together as he longed to rip that vile creature apart. It took every last ounce of Adrien's will power not to go looking for that son of a bitch. The creep was lucky that he had gotten away when he did, as Adrien hadn't been sure how much longer he could control himself that night.

Seeing the effects on Marinette today…watching her as her face contorted when the nightmares and dark memories consumed her…watching her cry and shake with fear, unsure whether those visions were real or not…

Adrien just simply didn't have the heart to tell her. He was both worried yet glad that Marinette had woken up not remembering anything. It disgusted him that the events of that night had had such a horrible effect on her, but at the same time, he felt like ignorance was bliss. Marinette had already been through so much. It was clear she had been involved in some sort of horrible accident, and it pained him to think of her suffering in silence all of this time, hiding her scars from the world, terrified of what people would think of her.

It put his own problems into perspective a bit more. He had lost his parents, and was ashamed of everything that had happened and what the world thought of him, but at least he didn't have to worry about hiding every inch of his own skin. Not that Marinette had to. She was beautiful just the way she was. There was nothing that could ever make her ugly. She still had the softest and kindest heart, and the scars were merely unique marks that proved she was strong and that she was a survivor. How could anyone not find strength and perseverance attractive?

Slowly, Adrien felt like everything was starting to unravel, and the pieces of the mysterious puzzle that was Marinette were finally coming together. Her behaviour was making a lot more sense to him now, and he could see that over these past few weeks, she had been getting better.

But the night of the party was threatening to ruin it all.

As crazy as it sounded, Adrien hoped that Marinette continued to not remember anything. Hopefully, her nightmares would fade, and Marinette would continue to brush it off as just that: nightmares. He just wished that low life could receive some justice though. Adrien was pretty sure he would never be able to track him down, at least not just as Chat Noir anyway, and the only other way he could ensure that monster got what he deserved was if he got the police involved. But that would require having Marinette remember everything, and there was no way that Adrien wanted to put her through anymore trauma. He was supposed to protect Marinette. And he had failed. So he could at least try again now.

The bloodlust slowly began to fade as he pictured Marinette's delicate features. He continued to imagine her curled up in his arms, watching her joke around just like she had been doing today. The feeling he felt when she appeared to trust him enough to reveal her scars to him. That must have taken some strength, and he couldn't be more proud of her. He was touched and humbled that she had chosen to share that deeply personal side of her. He hoped that it continued to lead her down the path to being healed.

Taking a deep breath, Adrien finally looked up from his wooden floor, his racing heart calming down until he caught sight of Plagg lying on the ground in front of him. The black kwami was sprawled out, his eyes closed as he panted, struggling to breathe. He looked incredibly weak, as if the simple act of existing took every last amount of his strength.

"Plagg!" Adrien called out in alarm, darting over to him. He reached down and gently cradled Plagg in the palms of his hand, watching in horror as his green eyes weakly opened to look up at him.

"Plagg, what's wrong?!" Adrien cried out.

"I'm…fine…just…tired…" Plagg wheezed out.

"This has never happened before though!" Adrien shrieked. "What's going on? Are you sick?"

Plagg slowly shook his head before letting it collapse back down onto the palm of Adrien's hand. Meanwhile, Adrien continued to gaze down at him in panic. His own exhaustion had now been replaced with pure adrenaline as he desperately raked through his brain, trying to think of what he could do to help. Was there even anything he _could_ do? He couldn't take him to a doctor or a vet. Was there even anybody else out there who knew about kwamis? Somebody had to have given out the different miraculous, so surely there was?

"What can I do, Plagg?" Adrien begged for answers, feeling utterly helpless.

Plagg merely continued to pant, and his eyes squeezed tightly closed as if he was in pain. His whole tiny body was shivering against Adrien's skin despite him feeling as warm as he always did. The tremors vibrated Adrien's hands, only further fuelling his panic. He had never seen anything like this before. He didn't even think kwamis could be hurt or get sick. Or what if this was something worse?

"I'll…be…fine…" the shaking kwami finally managed to gasp out.

Adrien had a hard time believing that though. Was it his fault? Had he pushed Plagg too far? Had he given him a bad piece of cheese? Was it his own craziness that was taking its toll on his kwami?

Still panicking, Adrien ran over towards his bed and gently laid Plagg down on his sheets, tucking him in as best as he could. Plagg's eyes remained closed, though his tremors did seem to calm down slightly. But still, it didn't seem to be enough. So Adrien sprinted towards where he knew Plagg kept his 'secret' stash of cheese, following his nose to the stinky pile.

He grabbed the first piece of cheese he saw before running back to his stricken kwami, holding the camembert in front of his mouth, praying that Plagg would reach forward and take a bite of his favourite snack. His little nose twitched slightly before he began nibbling on the end, his shaking growing slower and slower, though he still did not open his eyes.

Adrien breathed a sigh of relief, because if Plagg had turned down his cheese, then that meant that there was definitely something seriously wrong. Maybe his kwami was just exhausted like he had said? Had he been worrying over nothing?

Something deep within Adrien's gut was telling him that something serious was wrong, but surely Plagg would have told him if that was the case? But what if even Plagg didn't know that something was wrong? What if something like this had never happened before?

"Isn't there some kind of doctor I can take you to?" Adrien asked as he collapsed to his knees, leaning against the side of his mattress as he watched every individual small movement that his kwami made.

"NO!" Plagg suddenly yelled, startling Adrien.

"But surely there's someone out there who will know how to help you?"

"I said no," Plagg insisted.

Adrien frowned. "Then…what's going on? What's happening?"

"I'm just tired, okay?" Plagg spat a few cheese crumbs at Adrien as he spoke.

Adrien's frown deepened as he wiped the gooey cheese off his face with the sleeve of his shirt. "This has never happened before."

Plagg sighed. "Just trust me, I'm fine. When are you heading back to Marinette's?"

"Marinette?" Adrien repeated in surprise. "What does Marinette have to do with this?"

"Just…" Plagg growled in frustration. "You're going back there soon, right?"

"Since when were you so interested in me seeing Marinette? Normally you hate me transforming just so that I can go and hang out with her." Adrien's suspicions were now definitely raised.

"It doesn't matter," Plagg huffed as he began to take bigger bites of his cheese, clearly getting his strength back.

"Will you please just tell me what's going on?" Adrien begged, trying to stay calm and not lash out.

Plagg looked desperately into Adrien's eyes. "I can't!"

"Why not?!"

"Because –"

Adrien's eyes widened in alarm as Plagg began choking. Small green bubbles began floating out of his mouth, gargling Plagg's speech and preventing Adrien from understanding him. Now what was happening? Was this how kwamis threw up or something?

The bubbles popped in mid-air, not travelling far from Plagg's body. Finally, Plagg sighed and simply kept his mouth shut, preventing anymore bubbles from escaping. All Adrien could do was stand there with wide eyes, completely frozen in place as he had no idea what he had just witnessed. Should he be worried? Was this something bad? It looked like something bad.

"See?" Plagg huffed. "That's why I can't tell you."

"Okaaaay then," Adrien squeaked out, not sure what to say or do next, beginning to feel even more freaked out than before. "You…you choke on bubbles?"

"Pretty much."

"But…why?"

Plagg sighed. "It's just a kwami thing. There are certain secrets that we aren't allowed to reveal, as much as we may want to sometimes. I've tried to find ways of telling you some things, but it's just impossible. At first I found it funny, but now I'm just finding it frustrating and annoying. It's getting in the way of –" Plagg choked out a few bubbles again.

"So…you've been hiding things from me?" Adrien's voice cracked slightly.

"What? No! At least…not intentionally anyway…"

"All my life has been nothing but secrets and lies, and now I'm only just finding _this_ out?!"

"Adrien, please calm down," Plagg begged. "Why get upset over something that can't be helped?"

Adrien growled before getting up and throwing his desk chair across the room. It smashed against the wall where his mirror used to be before landing down on the broken glass that he still hadn't cleaned up. Shards were sent flying across the floor before some of them skidded to a stop next to Adrien's feet. He gazed down at his reflection, unable to recognise himself.

His expression then quickly dropped as he stared at himself in shock.

Just what had he turned into?

When he stared down at himself, his father stared back up at him. The anger and hatred in his eyes, the complete feelings of contempt for everyone else around him, along with the coldness that was only ever melted by a fiery temper. He was a paranoid recluse that hid himself in his mansion, only ever contacting the outside world when he intended to cause chaos.

He…he really was his father…

Adrien recoiled in horror, beginning to feel sick. His stomach lurched as if he had just swallowed the nastiest substance known to man. Bile rose to the back of his throat, and the world around him was suddenly beginning to spin again. The realisation crashed down on him as if his own house had just collapsed on top of him.

This had been a thought he'd had many times before, but it was only now just truly sinking in.

"Kid…are you okay?" Plagg's concerned voice sliced through him, only further reminding him of how much of a horrible person he was.

Adrien collapsed, gasping loudly as he fought back sobs.

"Plagg…I'm…I'm just like him."

"Who?"

"My…my…my father…"

"Don't be so ridiculous!" Plagg growled out.

"But it's true." Adrien sniffed, a single tear managing to break free as it slowly trickled down his cheek and splashed onto the floor. "He was right…I'm just like him."

"You're _nothing_ like him!"

Adrien sighed, wrapping his arms around his torso in a feeble attempt to hold himself together.

"Listen to me kid," Plagg snapped as he flew towards Adrien in the blink of an eye, his strength seeming to have suddenly returned in a burst of anger. "You are nothing – _nothing_ – like Hawkmoth, do you hear me? Your father was an evil man. I know it hurts to be reminded of him, but it's true. He wasn't the man you thought he was. Everything he did…everything he did to _you_ …you never would have done anything like that."

"But look at what I did to Ladybug…what I did to my father…what I've done to my mother…"

"You father deserved everything you did to him, and you're mother is dead. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but you really need to get the truth into your thick head. There was nothing that could have been done to change what happened to her. What happened to her was nothing to do with you. Your father was the one who terrorised the city because he couldn't let things go. And as for Ladybug…you made a mistake. Your plan didn't work, and I've seen enough here on Earth to know that that's just the way life is. What happened to her wasn't your fault. It was your father who did that to her, not you. So what's the use in torturing yourself with the 'what ifs'? It isn't going to change the here and now." Plagg was out of breath again by the time he had finished speaking.

The whole time, Adrien stared down at the floor, unsure of what to say or even think at this point. Deep down, he knew that Plagg was right about a lot of those things, but it still did nothing to ease the guilt that had been torturing him ever since. It was something that Adrien had accepted that he would always carry around.

However, Adrien's thoughts were quickly cut off by the sound of Plagg coughing and collapsing mid-air. Luckily, Adrien managed to catch him in time before he hit the ground. The black kwami curled up in the palms of his hand again, looking exactly the same as when they had arrived back earlier.

Sighing to himself, Adrien slowly brought Plagg back over to his bed and gently laid him back down and tucked him in again. He didn't think he had ever seen his poor kwami so exhausted. He would worry about all these secrets at a later time. Right now, Plagg's recovery was what was most important. He shouldn't have lost his temper like that. Now he had probably hindered Plagg's healing process.

Was he ever going to stop screwing things up?

Adrien then decided that it was probably best to give Plagg some peace a quiet, so he tip-toed out of the room just as the kwami began snoring loudly. He closed his bedroom door behind him before simply standing there, unsure of what to do. He was on his own. No Plagg. No Marinette. He could try and get some rest himself, but he knew that would be impossible after everything that had just happened. He just hoped that Plagg was going to be okay, and he knew that he wasn't going to be able to stop worrying about him…or Marinette for that matter.

He slowly walked towards the window at the end of the corridor, gazing out into the city as he wondered what she was doing right now. Was she okay? Had her memories come back to her? Had she spoken to any of her friends?

The thought of them made his blood boil again. How could they have done this to her? Alya and Nino were supposed to be her best friends, yet they had been so caught up in their own drama that they had taken it out on Marinette as a result. And she had ended up nearly paying the ultimate price.

Adrien quickly shook his head to banish those thoughts from his mind. That was a dark path that he simply did not want to go down. He couldn't bear it if he had lost Marinette as well. Then he definitely would have nothing left. It felt like she was the one thing that was currently tethering him to the earth, and he did not want to lose that. She made him almost feel the way that Ladybug used to make him feel.

At the thought of Ladybug, a painful stab struck him in the chest, though Adrien managed not to recoil backwards from it. Thinking of her name was always going to likely bring him pain. He closed his eyes as he wondered what she would think of him right now. With a smile, he realised that she would probably tell him to get his act together and focus on being the hero that Paris deserved. That was if she wasn't blaming him for what happened.

The fact that she was so quick to believe that he had turned on her…it hurt. He figured that the whole thing would take a lot of convincing, but she seemed to have almost immediately accepted that he had joined Hawkmoth. There was very little resistance, and hardly any begging and pleading. Had she really trusted him so little, despite always telling him that she did?

Another stab to Adrien's heart.

He opened his eyes again as he pulled her hair ribbon out of his pocket. Perhaps she wasn't the perfect person he had always viewed her as. Perhaps he didn't mean as much to her as he had hoped that he did. But it didn't mean that Adrien regretted it all any less though. It didn't mean that she deserved what happened and what he did to her. He had used his anger as fuel that night to put on a convincing show, seething over Ladybug's reaction to him switching sides. She hadn't even asked. She didn't even try to understand. She had just seen things as black and white, simply switching to view him as the enemy as that was what was needed.

Not that he necessarily blamed her. She was supposed to protect Paris after all, and prevent her miraculous from falling into the wrong hands. But that didn't mean it hurt any less.

Adrien clenched his fist around the ribbon, gritting his teeth together.

"Why Ladybug?" he breathed out through clenched teeth. "Did I ever mean anything to you?"

Of course, no response came, causing Adrien to sigh in defeat.

She was gone.

His questions would always remain unanswered.

His whole body relaxed again, falling into the familiar state of complete apathy. He held the ribbon loosely in his hand, feeling guilty for feeling angry towards his lady. Because at the end of the day, no matter how she really felt about him, what happened was still his fault. If it wasn't for him, Ladybug would still be alive today.

Plagg's words then echoed in his mind again. It wasn't until now he realised just how much he did ruminate on the 'what ifs' of the whole situation. Would Ladybug have wanted this? Would he have wanted this for himself? _Did_ he want this for himself? The wallowing, self-loathing part of himself screamed that it was no less than he deserved, but a more rational voice was beginning to grow louder inside him. What was the use in worrying about his failure to protect Ladybug now? It was his fault, yes, and he knew that he was never going to get over it, but maybe he could channel that energy into something more positive?

Adrien glanced back out of his window and gasped when a familiar figure appeared to be staring through the bars of the main gates to his property.

Was this a dream? Was he seeing things?

He blinked and gasped again when he realised that the familiar figure was still there. Had he finally officially driven himself crazy? Either way, his heart didn't seem to care as it leapt out of his chest, trying to drag him towards the girl staring outside his house, seemingly working up the courage to try and ring the doorbell. He shook his head and smiled at the sight. It was just like Marinette to think too hard about an action as simple as ringing a doorbell.

But what was she doing here? Had something happened?

At that panicked thought, Adrien quickly ran downstairs and opened his front door without even thinking, stepping out into the sunlight before running towards the metal gates. Marinette appeared to be just as shocked and worried as he was, standing frozen in place, her cheeks a light shade of pink as she watched him run towards her.

Immediately, his heart began to swell, feeling like it was ready to burst with the amount of emotion that the mere sight of Marinette's face evoked in him. Before he knew it, he was stood right in front of her, with nothing but metal bars now separating them as they stared at each other, both of them equally speechless.

"M-Marinette?" Adrien finally managed to gasp out.

Marinette laughed nervously. "Ummm…hi."

"Hi." Adrien's eyes remained wide as he grabbed hold of two of the metal bars in front of him, pulling himself closer to her.

Marinette remained silent, seemingly once again lost for words. All she did was stare at him, and that only worried Adrien even more. Had he done something wrong? Had she remembered everything and had come to ask him questions?

"Is…is everything okay?" he was finally able to bring himself to ask.

Marinette shook her head. "Oh – ummm – yeah, everything is great."

Adrien stared into her eyes, searching for any hint that she could be lying. Any hint that she might possibly remember what had happened. Apart from the usual pain that she kept well hidden, Adrien couldn't see any signs of her having remembered. That, or she was very good at hiding things. Something that Adrien was now beginning to realise _was_ in fact the case with Marinette. So far he had been shocked by everything he had found out about her, and her showing up out of the blue today was even more of a surprise. What else did Marinette have up her sleeve?

"What brings you here?" Adrien asked before panicking. "Not that I want you to leave or anything."

"Are you sure?" Marinette asked worriedly. "Because I can leave if this is too much?"

"No!" Adrien said a little too quickly before clearing his throat and opening one of the gates just enough for Marinette to squeeze through. "Please, come in."

Marinette offered him a small smile as she slowly stepped through the gate, wrapping her arms around herself as she did so. Was she cold? Adrien better get her inside quickly.

He led her towards the front door, shutting it behind them after they had both stepped inside. He turned back around and froze when he saw Marinette staring around the large entrance. Her eyes appeared to be slightly glossed over, and her whole body was tense as she kept her arms wrapped around herself. Her lips were pressed tightly together, and it looked like she was breathing rather heavily through her nose.

Adrien looked around the room to try and maybe guess what had her so on edge, but there was no one here apart from the two of them. Plagg was still resting in his room and there were no longer any staff working at the house. That's when Adrien began truly looking at everything for the first time. Not used to having many guests over, the house wasn't exactly clean. It wasn't anything disgusting, but you could tell that Adrien rarely ever bothered with maintenance.

The white tiles were becoming more greyish in colour, and every room in the house was kept fairly dark as most of the curtains were drawn, sealing the rest of the world out. A thin layer of dust covered pretty much everything apart from the chairs, and there was the odd dirty dish or cup scattered around or pushed into a corner out of the way. A few items of clothing were also strewn across random objects with Adrien hardly ever bothering to wash them or put them away properly.

His cheeks began to turn bright red at the sight. Was this what Marinette was staring at? Did she now view him as some sort of disgusting slob?

Adrien laughed awkwardly in attempt to sooth his embarrassment, but it didn't work. "Sorry about the mess," he apologised as he rubbed the back of his head, "I don't get many guests."

Marinette seemed to finally snap out of whatever trance she was in before she turned to blink at him in surprise. However, she soon smiled at him reassuringly, and that was enough to brighten Adrien's whole day. That smile was almost enough to make him forget all of his troubles. Almost.

"So…ummm…what brings you here?" Adrien asked before mentally slapping himself. Way to sound like a total dork.

"I…" Marinette took a deep breath. "I wanted to say thank you. For last night. I really appreciate you looking after me like that, even though you didn't have to."

"Hey," Adrien replied gently as he placed a hand on her shoulder, "it's what friends are for."

Adrien wasn't sure why, but referring to Marinette as his friend pained him slightly. It felt like the wrong word to use. She was so much more to him than just that, but of course Marinette didn't know that. As far as she knew, she hadn't seen Adrien for years. He would have to remember to act that way. Though he was severely out of practice when it came to keeping up that sort of façade.

"Actually," Marinette began awkwardly, "that's kind of another reason why I came to see you."

"Oh?"

"I…I haven't really been a good friend to you. I wasn't there for you when you needed me and…I'm really sorry," Marinette choked out.

"Hey, shhhh, it's okay," Adrien soothed as he pulled her into an embrace without even thinking about it. "It sounds like you were going through your own tough time."

Adrien then quickly gasped and then pulled away, remembering that he was Adrien, not Chat Noir right now.

Marinette looked slightly confused by his actions, but she soon relaxed again, looking more at ease about being here.

"It still doesn't excuse me not being there for you though."

"You got tunnel vision too then?" Adrien asked, trying to force a smile back onto his face.

"Ummm…yeah. I've never really thought about it that way before…" Marinette admitted.

Adrien sighed. "There wouldn't have been anything you could have done to help me anyway. I pushed everyone out at that time. You would have been no different." It pained Adrien to admit that, but he knew that's what would have happened.

Marinette nodded in understanding, finally moving her arms down to place her hands in her pockets, looking more awkward than afraid now.

"I…I know how you feel," Marinette finally spoke again.

"You do?" Adrien pretended to sound surprised.

"I was going through…some stuff…at that time as well. I pushed all of my friends away and I feel like I've driven them to something awful. I didn't want anyone around me, and it wasn't until…a friend…of mine helped me that I finally feel a little bit less alone," Marinette explained, moving her gaze away from him to stare down at the floor.

Adrien could feel his cheeks heating up slightly. She…she really thought that he had helped her? He made her feel less alone? Those thoughts almost had Adrien wanting to jump for joy, but he managed to contain himself. He wanted nothing more right now than to pull Marinette into his arms and tell her that she would never have to feel alone ever again.

That's when Adrien realised that Marinette must have been planning to visit him before he had left. It must have taken a lot of strength for her to go outside on her own and make her way here. He knew how jumpy she could get when she was outside. So the fact that she had come here…just to see _him_ was the most amazing feeling in the world. She had pushed herself that far…for _him._ She had wanted to thank _him_. She appreciated what _he_ had done for her.

Those realisations felt incredibly weird. Adrien wasn't used to feeling wanted and like he had done something good. It reminded him of how he used to feel whenever he saved someone all those years ago, or when he had overheard Ladybug saying how much she trusted him.

 _Stab._

Adrien winced, feeling the ribbon burning a hole in his pocket. Tears stung behind his eyes like thousands of tiny bees that were longing to burst free. But he couldn't open the floodgates. Not here. Not like this. He didn't want to scare Marinette off. If maybe he could win Marinette's friendship as Adrien, then maybe he would get to see her more often. It was a dangerous game, but in that moment, Adrien didn't care. He _needed_ Marinette in his life. She was the only thing that kept him grounded and gave him purpose. His feelings towards her were becoming too powerful to stay away from her.

"Adrien, are you okay?" Marinette gasped out, and a shiver ran down Adrien's spine as he felt her hands touching his arms as if trying to prevent him from collapsing.

"I'm…I'm fine…" Adrien managed to breathlessly reassure her.

"You're shaking, come and sit down," Marinette gently ordered as she led him towards one of the chairs in the corner of the room.

Adrien collapsed into it, his exhaustion finally catching up with him once again, the present events overwhelming him and making his head spin.

"You're as white as a sheet," Marinette gasped as she placed her hand against Adrien's forehead.

Adrien barely registered her words as he wanted nothing more than to be able to nuzzle her hand and keep it pressed against his face forever. He just about managed to hold in the urge, terrified of frightening her away or possibly revealing his identity.

"When's the last time you ate or even got any sleep?" Marinette demanded.

"Hm? I…I dunno…" Adrien trailed off.

Had he had some toast with Marinette earlier? He couldn't quite remember if he had. But he definitely hadn't slept in a while. The battle he was raging against his eyelids right now was proof enough of that.

"I can leave if you want to get some rest?" Marinette offered, beginning to angle herself towards the door.

"No!" Adrien yelled, grabbing hold of Marinette's arm, preventing her from moving.

They both stared at each other with wide eyes.

"S-sorry," Adrien mumbled in embarrassment, his head flopping against the back of the chair, letting go of Marinette's arm.

"It's okay," Marinette replied, seeming more confused than upset by the whole situation.

Adrien's eyelids grew even heavier as his weak body further relaxed into the chair, and his gazed locked on Marinette, terrified that she might leave him if he closed his eyes for even a second. But the exhaustion was getting more and more difficult to fight against. All of his energy had left him as his body began to finally succumb to the tiredness. The panic of Marinette leaving wasn't enough to keep him awake as he lost the battle, and his eyes began to finally close, blurring his vision.

"I'll be right here," he was vaguely aware of hearing Marinette whisper before he finally slipped into the realm of unconsciousness.

* * *

 **Another chapter I had to split. Maybe this story being 100 chapters long is looking less and less like a silly joke now (don't worry I'm still joking). I'm actually shocked that I managed to get this chapter out today. The stars finally seemed to have aligned in my favour for once. As always please please please please leave a review and you're totally awesome if you do. Reviews are fuel that keep us writers going. I'm not too sure when my next update will be as things are still a bit random at the moment, though I am hoping that it will be at some point next week, hopefully the Friday again if things go well. I hope that you guys are all doing okay and I'll see you again soon!**


	38. New Light

**I'm alive! I'm so sorry for disappearing for so long; it was completely unintentional. Basically here's a list of all the reasons I vanished: hospital appointments, training, real life drama, mental health issues, physical health issues, my job being a pain, and dealing with the police because I got robbed – twice. So yeah, I haven't been having fun, believe me. I would have much rather been focusing on writing chapters for this story. I am really sorry though, especially if I worried anyone like I seemed to be doing. I'm super grateful for your concern and I would never abandon my work without telling you guys.**

 **Anyway, things should hopefully be calming down now. Especially now that my job have cut my hours because they realised that forcing me to work so much overtime meant that they** _ **actually**_ **had to pay me for it. I know, right? Who would have thought it? Never mind that cutting my hours puts all of our safety at risk. Ahem, I'll stop ranting now, sorry. I'm back now and hopefully there will never be a large gap like that between updates again. Thank you so much for waiting and for all of your wonderful reviews of support!**

* * *

 **Chapter 38: New Light**

There she was in all her beauty. Dancing in the setting sun, twirling gracefully as the string of her yo-yo spun around her like a flowing ribbon. A content smile lit up her face, her blue eyes were closed, and her pigtails bounced as she continued her dancing. The dusk colours of the sky brought out the intense redness of her suit, making her look like a warm and inviting flame in the distance. Paris was spread out before her, receiving the most perfect view of her endless beauty.

Adrien smiled and watched, enjoying the sight of her lost in her thoughts, allowing his eyes to feast on her perfection. A perfection that almost burned his eyes as if he was staring at the sun. At any moment, he felt like he would be blinded by her radiance, but he didn't care. He would happily go blind rather than look away from her. As long as the image of her delicate features were burned into his mind for all eternity, he could live with that.

Watching her made his heart swell. She could not look any more perfect.

As she continued to twirl, the sky began to grow dark. That was weird. Adrien had no idea that it was supposed to rain today. It was like the dark clouds had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He had merely blinked, and in that time, the whole environment around him had changed. But Ladybug remained twirling around like nothing had just happened. She looked as happy, tranquil and innocent as a ballet dancer inside a music box. Her eyes remained closed, a small smile still adorning her features.

But Adrien couldn't escape the ominous feeling that was now consuming him. He tried to shout towards his lady, but upon opening his mouth, no sound was released. Adrien's eyes widened in panic as he tried again and again, but his voice was gone. Giving up on that idea, Adrien tried to throw himself forward, but his whole body moved entirely in slow motion. A force kept pulling him backwards as he tried to dig his nails into the concrete of the roof.

When he looked up again, he realised that it wasn't storm clouds that had filled the sky above him – it was smoke. It began to choke his lungs, making him cough violently as he desperately continued trying to pull himself towards his lady. It was like his lungs were suddenly filled with thick cotton, and no matter how much his gasped for air, he just couldn't breathe enough of it in.

Panic further set in as the orange glow from the sky now moved to the streets below them. Ladybug remained oblivious while all Adrien could do was silently scream. He watched in horror as her suit began to turn a dark shade of red before a thick red liquid began oozing out of her. It made Adrien freeze as his stomach lurched at the sight of the blood leaving a thick trail while it seeped towards him. It flowed between his fingers like the rivers of hell, the fresh warmth almost burning his skin. It pooled around him and imprisoned him.

His head snapped up again to gaze upon his lady, her face still serene. Like something out of a horror movie, her flesh began to slowly melt away. First her skin, then her muscle, all while blood continued to drip from her body in a never ending waterfall. Finally, there was nothing but bone left, before even her skeleton began to disintegrate right before his eyes.

All Adrien could do was silently scream, his heart shrivelling up and disappearing along with her.

Adrien gasped as his eyes flung open, the light of the room nearly blinding him before he began violently coughing. Panic continued to consume him as the smoke remained in his lungs, choking and incapacitating him. It felt like his throat was closing up, and his eyes squeezed closed again, too terrified to open them and witness the empty space where his lady had been just moments before. It was all his fault. He couldn't save her…

"Oh my gosh, Adrien, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?"

That voice… That familiar voice again…

Could it be…?

Adrien opened his eyes again, automatically following the sound of that angelic voice, hoping that maybe he too had died and was now in the afterlife with his beloved. A heavenly glow surrounded her, confirming Adrien's suspicions, but upon squinting to see her better in the bright light, he realised there was no mask. No cute pigtails. Instead, Marinette stood before him, gazing down at him worriedly, the furrow between her eyebrows deepening the longer he took to answer.

"M-Marinette?" he stuttered, his voice slightly horse.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Or choke you. I was just trying to dust the table next to you," Marinette explained, fidgeting nervously.

That's when Adrien noticed the feather duster that she had gripped tightly in her hand. Marinette's whole body was stiff and tense, and her eyes kept darting around wildly, something she had been doing since she had arrived here earlier. That's right. Marinette had unexpectedly paid him a visit. He was home. He was here with Marinette. He couldn't believe that he had fallen asleep on her. That was so embarrassing. He got to hang out with her as his civilian self again and he was wasting it.

"No no no, _I'm_ sorry!" Adrien quickly replied. "I'm the terrible host. I can't believe I fell asleep!"

"You must have needed the rest," Marinette reassured him, still looking unsure of what she should do with herself. "I didn't have the heart to wake you."

Adrien couldn't help but smile slightly at that. She was too cute.

"I still feel bad though –" Adrien went on to continue to protest before his brain finally properly woke up and registered exactly what Marinette had in her hand. "Wh-what are you doing?"

Marinette shuffled awkwardly again. "Sorry, I hope you don't think I'm interfering. I just thought that you could use a hand with the cleaning."

Adrien cringed. "That's really kind of you, but honestly, there's no need. You're a guest and…" Adrien turned to the side slightly to mumble to himself, "It'll only get messy again anyway."

He couldn't believe that Marinette had been cleaning his house for him while he was asleep. He was supposed to be there for her, not employing her as an unofficial house maid. Not to mention it didn't exactly paint a very good impression of himself. He _could_ clean. It's just… other things kept getting in the way. There were some days where he just didn't even see the point. It was too much effort and a waste of time. He rarely ever had guests over apart from Nino, and he was used to it.

"I know how that feels," Marinette mumbled in response, her eyes staring off into the distance.

Adrien glanced back up at her worriedly. He recognised that pain in her voice. It almost mirrored the same pain that he felt. The very pain that he was trying to protect her from. To help her heal from. Now he had not only embarrassed himself, but was also ruining Marinette's progress. He was such a selfish idiot. He should never have let her in here. He should have never allowed her to see his true self. A pathetic, worthless, useless waste of space.

"When you feel so low," Marinette continued, "it's easy to forget the tiniest everyday things. But it turns out that they're the ones that are most important and are always taken for granted. They are the base of everything else in your life. I never realised just how hard it could be to simply take a shower, to comb my hair, to clean things… it all seemed so pointless."

Adrien's eyes widened as he continued to watch and listen to her. She had perfectly hit the nail on the head. That was exactly how he felt.

"But you just have to force yourself, because like I said, they form the base for everything else. I learnt that you have to trick your mind into thinking that everything is normal, and to do that, I had to clean and stick to a normal routine. Otherwise I would just be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of being pathetic and worthless. I would just be validating my own thoughts," Marinette sighed out that last part, almost as if she didn't quite believe her own words.

"I had no idea…" was all Adrien could whisper in response.

A tense silence fell between them as he tried to imagine the happy and bubbly Marinette he used to know being in a similar situation to him. No wonder she had changed so much. But he could still see that glint in her eye on occasions. The promise that Marinette was still in there. The promise that she could fight through all of this. He would make sure that she could. Adrien knew the feelings that she was beginning to share all too well. He wouldn't wish them on his worst enemy, let alone the girl he lo –"

 _Smack._

Adrien's vision suddenly darkened as he felt something soft land on his face. His heart skipped a beat in surprised, totally confused over what was happening as whatever had hit him in the face slowly fell down onto his lap. It was… a piece of cloth? All Adrien could do was blink down at it in confusion before the musical sound of Marinette's laughter filled his ears.

"Sorry," she giggled, "you looked super deep in thought, so I couldn't resist."

Adrien couldn't help but smile back at her. Her laughter was so infectious, and it was such a rare sound that he wanted to do nothing more than sit there and listen to it forever. Her cheeks flushed a delicate shade of pink, and her own eyes held a hint of surprise at her own actions, as well as a sparkle of humour, and something that Adrien couldn't quite place. He wanted to make her smile and laugh over and over again. Making her feel better made him feel better.

"Very funny," Adrien chuckled out as he tossed the cloth back at her, which Marinette clumsily juggled before dropping. It was good to see that some things hadn't change about her. She was always so awkward and clumsy. It was always something he found endearing and adorable about her. Even before all of this had happened, it had always made her stand out among his friends. He could always count on Marinette to make an experience fun and unique because of it.

"I hope so, because I'm sick of all this deep stuff." There was an almost manic edge to Marinette's voice this time that caught Adrien off guard. But before he could worry too much about it, she perked up again, this time sounding more normal.

"Let's get cleaning!"

"Really?" Adrien frowned in confusion as he slowly stood up, his limbs feeling wobbly like jelly. "We could always do something else? It's not fair that you've come all the way here to clear up my mess."

Marinette waved him off. "I like to help. And it looks like you sure could use it." She gestured around the room at all of his mess, though it already looked like she had made a good start on things.

Adrien blushed, once again feeling embarrassed over the whole situation. But it did genuinely sound like Marinette wanted to help him. Maybe he could humour her just this once. He was supposed to be looking after her, not the other way around. But Marinette in all of her stubbornness seemed to be completely determined. If anything, maybe he could turn this into an opportunity to get to know her more. By this point, it felt like he had known her for an eternity, but she remained pretty caged up about a lot of things. Maybe she would admit things to Adrien that she couldn't admit to Chat Noir?

But did he really want to do this? Did he really want to play this game? Something told him that it was going to be incredibly risky, and he could already hear Plagg's teasing voice in his ear over the whole situation he had gotten himself into. But this is the situation he found himself in now. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He was just hanging out with Marinette, one of his oldest friends. What was so bad about that? What could possibly go wrong?

"Besides," Marinette's soft voice interrupted his deep thoughts again, "what kind of a friend would I be if I didn't help out? I've neglected you for years, and I want to make it up to you."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Marinette?" Adrien sighed out in frustration. "You don't have to feel bad for not seeing me for a few years. You had your own stuff going on. Plus I probably wouldn't have even let you in anyway. The only person who managed to keep checking up on me was Nino, and to this day, I still have no idea how he got around my security system that first time around."

Marinette pulled a weird face at that remark, but it was so fleeting, that Adrien wasn't sure if he was just imagining things.

"Not that I'm doing this just to make myself feel less guilty for not seeing you," Marinette quickly replied, preventing Adrien's musings from going any further. "I mean – I do feel guilty. But that's not the main reason I'm doing this. I mean – I'm doing this as a thank you for the other night. And because I do still consider you as… as a friend."

The word 'friend' stung slightly, almost as if a needle had been stabbed directly into his heart. Adrien did his best to ignore it though, and instead laughed at Marinette's typical clumsy stuttering.

"It's okay, Marinette, calm down," Adrien reassured her, "I know you're doing this because you're a good, kind-hearted person. You always have been." He couldn't resist letting his complete and utter adoration for her seep into his words.

Marinette gazed at him in shock, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of pink before she bit her lip and looked away and spoke in a low whisper, "I wouldn't say that."

Despite wanting to argue with her, Adrien managed to stop himself. He didn't want to go too overboard, especially since he and Marinette technically didn't know each other all that well, and she wasn't as close with him as she was with Chat Noir. He didn't want to look too weird and suspicious, and the last thing he wanted to do right now was scare her off. It must have taken a lot for Marinette to convince herself to come here, and he didn't want to blow it.

"I thought you wanted to avoid all of the deep stuff?" Adrien tried to playfully tease, nudging Marinette before turning to start wiping down one of the nearby tables.

Marinette chuckled, seeming grateful for the subject change. They both began cleaning together as an awkward silence fell between the two of them. Adrien held his breath as he tried desperately to think of something to say to her, but his mind had suddenly gone blank. _Come on, Adrien, say something!_ But no matter how much he internally yelled at himself, he just couldn't think of anything. _Great,_ he thought to himself. First he fell asleep on her, and now he has her cleaning his house while he remained painfully silent. Some host he was.

He couldn't help but glance back at her, watching as she reached up to clean a few cobwebs that had decorated a bookshelf for as long as Adrien could remember at this point. In fact, he wasn't even sure if he'd touched that stuff at all since the house had been re-built. His mother's books originally filled that shelf, but they had been destroyed in the fire. In some sick attempt at reclaiming the past and some normality, Adrien had bought exact copies of those books, even attempting to arrange them in the same order. He wasn't sure what he had been thinking when he did that, because it soon became too painful to look at.

But there was something almost soothing about seeing Marinette in that area. Despite the fact that she was cleaning, he could just about make out her eyes glancing over the various titles, and he smiled as she tilted her head in curiosity at some of them. His mother certainly had some broad taste, and no doubt Marinette was picking up that fact as she read their titles.

However, as if she could sense his eyes on her, she slowly turned her head to gaze at Adrien curiously, her cheeks still pink, and one hand remaining frozen in the air, hovering over the book she had just been dusting.

Adrien nearly choked on air at having been practically caught staring at her, and he quickly fumbled through his brain, once again trying to desperately think of something to say.

 _Say something, Adrien! Anything!_

"Ummm – how are you?"

 _Anything except that!_

"Oh… ummm…" Marinette seemed taken aback by his sudden weird outburst.

 _Damn it Adrien! You weren't supposed to freak her out!_ He really could have picked something better and less awkward to say, but it was the first thing that had popped into his head to try and at least get some sort of conversation going between them. It was such a stupid question. He knew exactly how Marinette was. He couldn't have picked something more insensitive to ask!

"I'm fine, I guess," Marinette answered, seeming confused, but thankfully there seemed to be no trace of offense in her tone. "Much better than I was the other night."

"Oh, that's good." Adrien let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding.

"And it's all thanks to you." Marinette beamed at him.

"Me? Why?"

"Oh come on, you practically saved me!" Marinette protested, still smiling at him as she continued on with her dusting again. "If it wasn't for you, who knows what would have happened.

Adrien nearly choked again. "Errr… yeah."

Did she… did she remember? He was sure that she didn't. It may be cruel, but he really hoped that her amnesia would stay. She had already been through so much. Some things are best forgotten, and as much as he hated that the bastard had gotten away with it, his princess' wellbeing was much more important. No memory, no pain. At least that's how he saw it anyway.

"I'm just glad nothing did happen."

Well, that answered his first question.

"But I'd rather not talk about that right now." Marinette turned serious and… sad? "It seems like I had good reason to leave the party."

"Oh?" Adrien pushed for more information before he could stop himself.

Marinette's eyes widened as if she said something that she wasn't supposed to. "Oh, I wouldn't want to bore you with my silly drama. Plus, I wouldn't want you to get caught in the middle."

"Why would I be caught in the middle?" Was she referring to Alya and Nino? His blood began to boil at the mere thought of the way they had behaved that night. But he needed to keep a lid on things. He wasn't Chat Noir right now. He had to play dumb. He had to behave the way Marinette likely remembered the way that he behaved.

"It's just… I seem to have upset Alya and Nino…" Marinette slowly admitted, almost looking like she was biting back tears as she began to dust more vigorously.

"I find that hard to believe," Adrien replied through clenched teeth while trying to keep his tone fairly light.

"I don't know what I did… Alya didn't really explain it properly," Marinette continued. "Knowing me, I probably tried to interfere in some way to try and get them back together."

"Ah."

"I'm guessing that it all must have backfired somehow. My memory is really fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure that there was some shouting involved, and when I called Alya earlier today, she was still mad at me. Whatever I did, it must have been really bad for them to have just ditched me like that."

Adrien couldn't take it anymore. Clenching his teeth together, he slammed his fist down on the table before turning towards a startled Marinette, gripping her shoulders while staring deeply into her eyes.

"Don't say things like that," Adrien scolded, "I'm sure that whatever happened, you were just trying to help, and that you didn't intentionally upset them. Alya and Nino shouldn't have taken their relationship drama out on you. You say you don't want me to be caught in the middle, yet they've both _forced_ you into the middle. They had no right ditching you like that, especially if you'd been drinking!" Adrien exploded before he could stop himself.

His actions soon caught up with him though as his eyes widened and he let go of his death grip on Marinette's arms. He took a few slow steps back, mentally scolding himself for being so stupid.

"I… I'm sorry…" Adrien apologised, his voice shaking slightly. "I… I just hate hearing you put yourself down like that…"

"It…it's okay," Marinette finally responded, still in a state of shock. "It's sweet of you to say all of those things about me, but maybe don't be so hard on Nino and Alya? They're our friends and they're both going through a lot at the moment. I'm sure there's got to be some sort of reasonable explanation. Alya's been so good to me over the years, and it seems like my time has come to start returning the favour."

Marinette then gazed out of the window to watch the setting sun. Meanwhile, Adrien grinded his teeth. He was still incredibly mad at the two of them, but maybe Marinette was right. Maybe there had been some sort of misunderstanding somewhere. Deep down, he knew that the two of them weren't purposefully malicious. Though it sure felt that way with Alya sometimes. Between her and Rena Rouge, he just couldn't escape the painful thoughts of… _Ladybug._

The ribbon began to burn in his pocket again, and memories of his dream from earlier began to flash before his eyes. He quickly squeezed them shut though and shook his head, desperately trying to dispel the horrifying images that had begun to mercilessly attack his brain.

"Are… are you okay?" Marinette asked cautiously, thankfully rescuing Adrien from his visions.

"What?"

"I asked if you were okay," she repeated, looking even more worried now.

"Oh… yeah… I'm fine," Adrien replied a bit too enthusiastically.

Marinette bit her lip and looked away, appearing unsure about whether or not she should say something. Adrien watched and waited, hoping that maybe she would come out and say it. But she never did. He guessed he would have to get the thought out of her by prodding her.

"What is it?"

"Hmm?" Marinette hummed, sounding distracted.

"You looked like you were going to say something," Adrien probed.

"Oh, it's just…" Marinette shuffled awkwardly. "It didn't look like you were sleeping too well earlier. You were tossing and turning a lot."

Adrien looked down, once again fighting off the memories of his dream.

"And you were talking in your sleep."

 _No!_

Adrien gasped in alarm, though Marinette seemed to misinterpret his panic.

"Don't worry, it's okay, you didn't say anything weird or embarrassing," Marinette giggled.

Adrien sighed in relief. At least it seemed like he hadn't accidentally revealed anything to her. But still, this revelation had him on edge. He would need to stay in better control of himself in the future. No more falling asleep while anyone apart from Plagg was around. He couldn't afford to let anything incriminating slip from him. Then he would be done for. He would lose Marinette and everything else that he had left. He'd be thrown in with his father for the rest of his life. They'd keep him strapped to a chair in a strait jacket, lock him in a padded cell and throw away the key. Though it would be no less than he deserved…

"So – ummm – what did I say then?" Did he even want to know the answer?

Marinette shrugged. "Most of it was incoherent. But at one point it sounded like you said, 'it's all my fault.'"

Adrien could feel the colour draining from his face.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Marinette looked more concerned than ever as she dropped her duster and took a few cautious steps towards him, seeming unsure of whether she could touch him or not, like he was the most fragile object in the entire universe.

Adrien gulped.

"Only you look like you're gonna pass out on me again."

Adrien shook his head in an attempt to snap himself out of it. "Nope. I'm fine. I guess this cleaning stuff has been too much hard work too soon."

"I'm so sorry!" Marinette gasped. "I didn't think of that! We can stop now if you want. I'm really sorry!"

Adrien chuckled, though he felt awful that his excuse had made her feel bad.

"No no no, don't worry about it. It feels kinda good to have made a dent in this pig sty of a house," Adrien couldn't help but truthfully admit as he looked around.

The air in the house almost felt breathable again instead of being thick with dust and poorly circulated air. There was a freshness that provided him with more energy and motivation. The colour was also returning to his belongings, and it looked like Marinette had cleared away some of the dirty dishes while he was passed out. There was still a lot of work to go though, but Adrien just wasn't sure if he could face it right now. Marinette's mention of his sleep talking had spooked him too much. Plus he really needed to check on Plagg.

"I should probably get going anyway," Marinette noted as she once again glanced at the setting sun. "I'll probably be meeting up with someone very soon."

Adrien couldn't help but smirk at that remark.

"Is he anyone special?" he teased.

"What?" Marinette gasped, turning bright red. "No… I mean yes! I mean – we're just really good friends and… wait… I don't remember saying it was a he?

 _Oops_.

"I just assumed from the way you were acting," Adrien smoothly saved himself, giving her a quick wink. Her reaction to his question sure was interesting though. Why was she getting so flushed over the whole situation? After all, they were just friends, weren't they? That thought stabbed another needle directly into his heart. Why should that thought affect him so much? Why was he so interested in how Marinette felt? Nothing could happen. What _was_ happening?

"To be honest, he is really special though," Marinette admitted in an almost dreamy tone, taking Adrien by surprise. "He's done so much for me and I don't think I'll ever be able to re-pay him. I can almost be myself around him, and despite everything he's done in the past, it's like there's something more to him and he wants to change. I have so much respect and admiration for him for that because he's been really trying."

Adrien couldn't help but freeze and blush at those remarks. She… she really thought that? She really thought that… about _him?_

"It sounds like you better not keep him waiting then," Adrien gasped out, still completely frozen.

"You don't mind?" Marinette sounded unsure yet excited at the same time.

If only she knew.

"Of course not," Adrien replied before faking a yawn. "I'm probably just gonna crash out as soon as you leave anyway. Thank you so much for helping me today."

"I can come back again soon and help out some more if you like?" Marinette offered.

Adrien smiled. His heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest and sore into the sky before exploding from joy. Of course he would be okay with this! He only wished that he could spend every moment of his life with Marinette. She shouldn't even feel like she needed to ask. He would always welcome her with open arms in the hopes of enjoying her soothing embrace. He could never get enough of this strange sensation she made him feel. She was almost like a drug to him at this point, though this was one addiction that he never wanted to fix.

"That would be awesome!" Adrien cheered, though tried not to appear too eager and weird. "Just stop by whenever you want. I'll be here."

"Great!" Marinette leaned in to give him a quick hug, and Adrien had to resist the urge to cling on to her and never let her go.

Alas, much too soon, Marinette pulled away and began heading towards the door, which Adrien then opened for her, excited at the prospect of being with her again in just a few moments. He didn't have to worry about being apart from her for too long. Why was he worried about this plan again? It was almost perfect! He knew he would have to be careful, but he'd been careful for the past few years of his life. He could handle it.

"I'll see you soon then?" Marinette turned to smile at him one last time before she left.

"See you very soon!" Adrien couldn't help but subtly joke as he smiled back and waved at her.

Marinette waved back before turning to walk down the pathway and out of the gates. Adrien watched for a few extra seconds after she disappeared, his heart pounding in his chest the entire time. However, his panic soon took over and he quickly closed his front doors before pressing the button to lock the gates. After this, he immediately relaxed again, though excitement of seeing Marinette tonight bubbled in his stomach, and his limbs began to tingle with an intense energy that made Adrien feel like he could bounce around for hours.

"I can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?" a familiar voice called from the top of the stairs.

Adrien gasped and looked up, just barely able to make out the form of Plagg hovering at the top of the stairs, his arms folded across his chest and his bright green eyes narrowed slightly. Adrien's mouth kept opening and closing, unsure of what to say or how to explain himself. His whole body began to tense up, unsure of how exactly Plagg was going to react to all of this.

"Great goldfish impression, kid," Plagg joked as he flew down towards him.

"Plagg!" Adrien cried out happily. "You're okay!"

"I told you I would be," Plagg shrugged off, "but are you ever going to tell me what's going on?"

'"I was so worried about you." Adrien's eyes scanned his kwami, terrified that he could collapse again at any second. He already looked so much better than he did a few hours ago. He seemed to have all of his energy back, and he was even making jokes. It made Adrien so happy to see Plagg looking so much better. His kwami really had given him a huge scare earlier. He just hoped that Plagg had been telling him the truth when he explained what was going on.

"Hey, don't avoid the question!"

Adrien sighed. "There's nothing to tell to be honest. Marinette just came round for a visit. That's it."

"Aaaannnddd?" Plagg teased.

"And nothing!" Adrien blushed. "Speaking of which, I want to go and see her tonight. Do you think you'll be up for it?"

"I guess," Plagg replied, "but how come she came to see you?"

"Because she wanted to thank me and help me out," Adrien explained. "And she said she would come back and visit me again soon! Isn't this great, Plagg? It means I get to spend even more time with her!"

Plagg looked a little nervous. "I don't know about this…"

"Since when have you been so cautious?"

"Since I actually care about you and any bad things that might happen to you," Plagg reluctantly admitted. "You've been through enough. At first I found this funny, but… now I'm not so sure…"

"I'll be fine. Marinette helps me and makes me feel better. I thought you'd want that?" Adrien asked, shocked and hurt that Plagg seemed to be so suspicious of Marinette. He was flattered that his kwami cared that much about him, but wasn't he the one who had been eager for him to see Marinette on some occasions? Just what was his kwami playing at? Did he know something that Adrien didn't? Had Plagg just been deluded from exhaustion when he expressed interest in being around Marinette?

"I just hope you know what you're doing," Plagg finally responded. "I'd hate to see you get hurt."

"How could Marinette possibly hurt me?" Adrien questioned, the mere idea feeling like blasphemy.

"Just… be careful," was all Plagg responded with.

Adrien nodded, if only to soothe Plagg's concern for him. But for once, Adrien was actually excited and had high hopes for the future. He had no idea where things were going, but for once, it felt like the raging river that was his life had calmed, and he was now enjoying a pleasant and relaxing ride through blue and tranquil waters. It was a refreshing change, and it was all thanks to Marinette. She was the sun that had broken through the clouds and was now shinning on him with her heavenly light, breathing new life into him. She cleared away the storm that darkened his world.

It gave him hope. Hope that he wasn't alone, and that he never had to face things alone again. Hope that he could feel human again. Hope that he could feel happiness again. Hope that he could…

Adrien froze before digging through his pocket and pulling out the red ribbon he had carried with him for so long. He held it in the palm of his hand, running his thumb along the silk before bringing it up to his lips to place a gentel kiss on the precious relic. He lingered for a few seconds before gripping it tightly and storming outside with a new-found determination.

It didn't take him long to find the spot where she had fallen. Grass and wild flowers adorned the once scorched earth as if nothing terrible had ever happened there. Before he could change his mind, Adrien knelt down against the grass, using his fingers to begin digging a small hole. He carefully cradled the ribbon and placed it down in the freshly dug hole. His heart ached as he slowly covered the ribbon, burying it into the ground and under all of the beautiful wild flowers.

Adrien stared at the patch of disturbed earth for a few seconds, and he could feel Plagg's eyes burning holes in the back of his head the entire time, but neither said a single word to one another. A light evening breeze blew by, and the whole area seemed eerily silent. The grass blew in the wind, creating tiny green waves that was like looking down at an ocean from high above. An ocean where Ladybug could now float forever, finally free.

Adrien sighed before finally standing up again. It was time to move on. His princess was waiting for him.

* * *

 **Hmmm, I wonder if I actually still have any readers left? I wouldn't be surprised if a bunch of them have bailed. Once again I am sorry for the four month wait for an update. It pained me so much to go that long without updating, but I just simply didn't have any time to write. Feel free to check out my blog for more information on that and all the writing/projects that I have planned for 2020. Also don't forget that you can follow me on Twitter to keep up to date with everything I'm up to.**

 **In other news, I've cleaned up my FanFiction profile, and now it actually has links! So yeah, links to all of my social media and other stuff are now on there to make things easier for you guys. Saves you having to search for me on stuff. Turns out FanFiction does still allow links on profiles, you just have to know where to look. But yeah, follow me on stuff! Say hi! We all have fun!**

 **Anyway, feel free to let me know your thoughts on the story so far, as it really helps me out. I imagine this chapter probably came across as quite rusty, so I'm a little bit paranoid over it. I'm also sorry if this chapter feels on the shorter side, especially after such a long hiatus. It's just because this chapter was originally meant to be part of the previous one. Also, feel free to make all the Chat Blanc jokes you want; I've had a hundred of them already lol. I hope that you guys are all doing okay, and I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can. Happy New Year!**


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